We don't have separate residents but we do have separate bathrooms, separate laundry, separate closets. We also mostly have opposite schedules. We got married later in my life and I was not about to start washing some man's panties nor cleaning his toilet. I chose to be child free and was not now going to take on the role of someone's mother. A lot of time, no matter how clean , self sufficient a man is, the woman always end up taking on the majority of the household tasks and organization. So if I don't feel like cooking, I don't. He is a grown man so if he can't step up and do something without me prompting him, then he doesn't eat while I enjoy my "girl dinner." Most marriages look exhausting to me.
I’m 43 & child free and I have never had a good, non-selfish reason to bring children into the world. I’ve never centered men in my life. They have always been “take it or leave it”. I lived with a man in my 20s & will never do it again lol. I barely date, my tolerance is extremely low for bs & I don’t wanna be bothered with foolishness. I’m open to dating but I have no problem walking away from something that isn’t beneficial to me.
I agree Toni! I’m 42, childfree, and single. This is the most peace I’ve ever had in my life! 😂 I feel so sorry for my younger self. I didn’t know any better.
I know this married couple who have houses across the street from each other and they are living their best life. They have dinner together at one house or the other every day and sleepover when they want or not. Of course they can afford 2 houses so I’m sure that increases the happiness factor too! 😆
I always appreciate your transparency, Toni. I'm perfectly happy being a singular person, often taking myself on dates. Now I do have a 30 year old son, but I raised him with the help of my family. I never wanted kids, but when i found out that I was halfway through my pregnancy, it was a done deal. He's the love of my life. I always felt that even if I were dating, or marrying a man, I would definitely want my own place. I've never felt the need to center my life around any man. I'm going to be 59 years-old at the end of this month, and have no regrets. ❤❤
“Think good thoughts. Being unhappy is a waste of your precious time. “ Happy Saturday Toni, I always enjoy your sit down conversations. I enjoy the fact that you are so authentic and transparent here on your platform. Have a great day and a beautiful weekend.🙏🏽✌🏽
I have so many thoughts on this topic. I always hated domestic work - especially the cooking. I can still hear my mother's voice telling me 'no man is goung to want u if u can't cook an clean.' Not that I should be learning these as life skills to help me when I'm older, oh no. It was for some random arbitrary man. I decided not to learn. I didn't want children so I didnt have any. I don't care for hair so half the time my head is bald. I'm not a fan of make up. So many things I've been told throughout my life I had to do to 'get a man.' I too got married. I remember telling my ex-husband that if he was looking for a woman to cook for him, he might as well move on because I wouldn't be doing that. Turns out you just have to be you and they will still come. I too have de-centred men my whole life without even realising it.
I totally agree with your point of view. I'm a single woman and honestly my first thought when I get invited to some events I go by myself. I think life has taught me to de-center men. I enjoy my alone time and my peace.
I’ve not heard this term before - de-center men - but I live it. I believe that if you can make it on your own the right person can/will come. If they don’t come or they come and leave for any reason, you will still survive. 💡♥️
What a fantastic topic. I have never really thought about the actions we could take to de-center men. I love this & hope you eventually do a part 2. I want to consciously make these subtle changes. I feel like a lot of small things have changed for me in the past 4 years, but I want more.
Love to hear this topic on your channel. I am on my own journey with decentering men and it has opened my eyes so much. ❤ I have already been encouraging my family to think about ways that we put more value on what men want / find attractive / etc vs focusing on our goals independent of a relationship. Plus in America, these DV and STI rates are not to be played with...
Hi. near 9:51 there's marriages that have separate households? Wow! With the costs of rent/mortgages these days... they must be Millionaires! this was edifying... thnx.
I love this content! I chose not to have children, and until I turned 45, I was constantly questioned about my choice. I applaud anyone who takes the time to really think about what they want for their own life as opposed to bending to society says we "should" want and do!
Assalamualaikum TONI, (ZURI, here lol). One way I De-Center men. Honestly I don't offer what's not available. Meaning sometimes men think it's a given just because it's them. A HUG, AND SMILE OR A SIMPLE HELLO. I refuse to go out of my way and out of character just because it's a man in my presence. 🎉💜🙂
Great video Toni. I’m separated from my husband and since I’ve decentered men in my life, life has been so fulfilling, peaceful and rich. I didn’t even know that’s what I was doing at the time but I started putting myself and my needs foward and life improved DRAMATICALLY. I’m at such an interesting space as a Christian woman that no longer wants to be bothered with ANY man EVER🤭😧. I just pray to God to have my heart in the right place and not be bitter or angry and to be in line with what God wants for my life (minus the fact that I’m getting divorced lol) This is definitely an interesting time in my life but I’m not mad about it 🤷🏿♀️
I have always lived a life where I decentered men and romantic relationships. Now being married and having a son it has been a balancing act our prioritizing myself and my family. What I lean on is that I must constantly do things that fuel me and if I am balanced I can give love freely. My husband would personally prefer if I prioritize him more but why I love him is he accepts me, my independence and my need to be fueled and nurtured by my tribe that is outside of him. You can have the life you seek when you love freely, celebrate yourself and appreciate the needs around you even if they don’t involve you ❤
Toni, love this talk and twist! It is a positive way to enrich a person's life. Why is it that when women get a man, they forget about everyone else who was in their life? Keep talking because I'm listening ❤
Continuing my education and enjoying my career as I choose. My ex-husband could not stand that I enjoyed them and thought I should be a stay at home wife (which came up months after marriage) - WHO!? I feel it's important to maintain who you truly are in the relationship just as you are outside the relationship, respectfully. Not allowing my true self be who I truly am would have devalued and decentered me. The women in my family taught me to put high value on me and how my relationships affect the woman I am. If the relationship does not reflect my values, it's a big no because I would only see him and no parts of me. What I want and value is equally important as what the man wants. I also don't think we have to change our last name if we don't want to. I hyphenated my maiden and married name together because I always liked the concept of two last names. It didn't mean I disrespected him or our relationship. It meant I valued something I wanted, and when the opportunity presented itself, I went for it as with everything else I wanted in life. Just because you're in a relationship does not mean you can no longer be you. To me, it means you both can enjoy who you are together.
The thing that’s been gnawing at me for years has been summarized beautifully in this video. Thank you, once again, Toni Daley. I am not “off,” “weird,” or “different.” Just logical. I am heterosexual, married, with one girl. I love my husband and daughter more than life itself; and KNEW, in my soul, there IS another way. I believe in my Christ as my Lord and Savior, and know there is ANOTHER way. Thank you for giving me sanity by confirming what I know. There is another way.
I must say initially this was a foreign concept to me because I’m seasoned and felt it was part of the process of womanhood. However my 7 year younger sister is totally on your page. As time has past, I’ve gotten to know her better. I understand her and why she chose to not have kids. She’s an awesome auntie to my awesome sons who are men now, but more than that she is totally happy with her decision.
Gen X on deck🙋🏽♀️😂... Hunni im 55, divorced since January '95 and KID FREEEEE!!!🙌🏾💖🙌🏾 My plan was.....if i didnt have any by age 27, i DIDNT WANT NONE. Didnt happen, so i made damn sho that it didnt.....and NOPES, NO REGRETS HERE. Not a one! Living and loving life. Especially my 50s season. Its EVERYTHANG!! Marriage aint for everybody....neither is living together with a man. Never again, no ty!👎🏾 So much more happier in my life...and keeping it that way.💖
Toni this was a great topic and I love how you look at friends to be your center. Always felt in relationship men needed more attention although I wanted my friends to be more active in my life sometimes you just need to get away.
Most of us of the diaspora whether dropped off on the islands or US come from west Africa and yes...from my studies...pre colonialism and slavery our original culture was indeed matriarchal...yep. dna has memory. ❤
I'm blowing up this spot. So sorry.(not 😂) Another sore point for me is how I see women being encouraged to distance themselves from their girlfriends when they have a man. I so strongly disagree with that. I was always very close with my best friend. We went everywhere together. I think that man was so smart. He observed that there was no way he was going to pry us apart so he would find places where all three of us could go out together. 😂 I still have my group of friends that I hang out with. Female friendships are important. They are with you through the highs and lows. Ok I'm going to stop but I could write a book on this subject.
I am Single SINGLE @ 5.0 & NeVa been 👰🏽 but I still want to get Married 1 Day befo I lay down to 😴 for LiFe, just not sure about the Wife part 🤔... I am so Very set in a way of my own, so I am not sure if a man will want to agree with the Life Style I have come accustomed to for myself 😏. I don't want to change him or have him change me, so YahWeh only knows if MaRRige will ever happen for me....... 🤷🏽♀️ PS GREAT ADVICE TONI!!! ❤😊
Interesting topic. I thinks there’s a common misconception that in the states there is no multigenerational/cross generational cohabitation. There are many factors contributing to this, however, I know many many families, especially in the south, that are multi/cross generational living. I also I agree with the notion of the plus one not necessarily being a spouse. When I was married (very amicable divorce), my husband did come first, however, not to the exclusion of friends and family. I don’t think I would have married if everyone bore the same weight. Just the same as I love my nieces and nephews but my children are centered first. I do believe if one is not in a relationship learning to decenter will help them find themselves without distraction. I don’t think it’s bitter, but views do come from a place of experience.
I agree 100 percent, its not worth it, women in community works out way better, the men today is just a whole other breed. I am divorced 5 years now and child free, best decision I ever made. so much happier and free. PPl are so fooled by this patriarchal society. Men are horrible at leading ijs. Decenter men ladies and live your life! have no regrets because most marriages the women are not happy anymore.
One of the most powerful institutions that reinforces men as the centre is religion on a whole. My mother is gone but last year I called my father and thanked him for never raising me christian.
I agree with showing equal value to friends and family especially the women in our lives, but disagree with being married and having separate accounts, living apart, etc. I would just not get married and do like an Oprah and Steadman arrangement. I also don't know what having kids or not has to do with de- centering men. Maybe I'm missing something there.
Y'all how do you decenter men when you miss affection so badly. I've been single for 5 years after leaving an abusive relationship. I haven't been touched or even have been so much as on a date. I think i have had 3 men approach men in those 5 years. I have no friends, family or tribe and with how judgmental people are these days, finding that is next to impossible. I thrive in partnerships and miss being touched/held. I absolutely love living alone and doing things by myself, but it's frigging lonely. You can have all the self love and still have a hole- That's where i am in.. Mourning the love i have forever craved. I ask the heavens to take away my feelings daily. To not need love and companionship as a black woman would be everything. It's so embarrassing craving love and then seeing every black man with a white woman. I am craving something that doesn't even want me.🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ I'm 36 and already feel this way. I pray I don't use su*c*de ideation as a way out. I am just holding on.
The heart wants what the heart wants and that’s okay. But one thing is for certain - you will attract what you are. You’ve GOT to choose joy and joy will come to you. Have you considered joining a class with other women? You may establish friendships orchestra at the very least, get hugs at each meeting. Human touch is SOOO important and you need it, I agree. It will get better Sis but you have to be here to see it! Keep going!!!
Your matriarchal view point is much more than your opinion. It’s the natural order of life. that dates back to Africa thousands of years ago. Power in African kingdoms was passed through the woman - not that woman were the leaders but the king who ruled had to be born through a woman of that lineage (ex. The next king would be the son of the current kings sister ) and when Europeans came to Africa , the euro women where shocked to see how much opinion African women were allowed to have bc Euro women weren’t even allowed to speak to men outside of their immediate family. And then research the ancient prophettess of Africa , woman naturally ruled until the men became envious & the women were overthrown by the patriarchy. I say this to say .. the patriarchy is a passed down European belief that black American women were forced to adopt after the transatlantic slave trade to America, where we were forced to reject and deny our traditions and beliefs. Caribbean women kept so much more of the African culture and their beliefs bc their slavery wasn’t intended to brainwashed. Sooooo what you said is much more than an opinion, there’s facts to back it.
We don't have separate residents but we do have separate bathrooms, separate laundry, separate closets. We also mostly have opposite schedules. We got married later in my life and I was not about to start washing some man's panties nor cleaning his toilet. I chose to be child free and was not now going to take on the role of someone's mother. A lot of time, no matter how clean , self sufficient a man is, the woman always end up taking on the majority of the household tasks and organization. So if I don't feel like cooking, I don't. He is a grown man so if he can't step up and do something without me prompting him, then he doesn't eat while I enjoy my "girl dinner." Most marriages look exhausting to me.
I’m 43 & child free and I have never had a good, non-selfish reason to bring children into the world. I’ve never centered men in my life. They have always been “take it or leave it”. I lived with a man in my 20s & will never do it again lol. I barely date, my tolerance is extremely low for bs & I don’t wanna be bothered with foolishness. I’m open to dating but I have no problem walking away from something that isn’t beneficial to me.
I agree Toni! I’m 42, childfree, and single. This is the most peace I’ve ever had in my life! 😂 I feel so sorry for my younger self. I didn’t know any better.
Exactly, but that time taught us a Lesson so it was All For A Purpose & It Was For Our Good, Thank U 2 YahWeh!! 🙌🏽
Lesson Learned is What Matters!!! 😊
I know this married couple who have houses across the street from each other and they are living their best life. They have dinner together at one house or the other every day and sleepover when they want or not. Of course they can afford 2 houses so I’m sure that increases the happiness factor too! 😆
I always appreciate your transparency, Toni. I'm perfectly happy being a singular person, often taking myself on dates. Now I do have a 30 year old son, but I raised him with the help of my family. I never wanted kids, but when i found out that I was halfway through my pregnancy, it was a done deal. He's the love of my life.
I always felt that even if I were dating, or marrying a man, I would definitely want my own place. I've never felt the need to center my life around any man.
I'm going to be 59 years-old at the end of this month, and have no regrets. ❤❤
I love your life.
Single mother with one child and glad to be single at age 41 I gave up long time ago 😊
“Think good thoughts. Being unhappy is a waste of your precious time. “
Happy Saturday Toni,
I always enjoy your sit down conversations.
I enjoy the fact that you are so authentic and transparent here on your platform.
Have a great day and a beautiful weekend.🙏🏽✌🏽
FACTS 🤩!! 👋🏼
I have so many thoughts on this topic. I always hated domestic work - especially the cooking. I can still hear my mother's voice telling me 'no man is goung to want u if u can't cook an clean.' Not that I should be learning these as life skills to help me when I'm older, oh no. It was for some random arbitrary man. I decided not to learn. I didn't want children so I didnt have any. I don't care for hair so half the time my head is bald. I'm not a fan of make up. So many things I've been told throughout my life I had to do to 'get a man.' I too got married. I remember telling my ex-husband that if he was looking for a woman to cook for him, he might as well move on because I wouldn't be doing that. Turns out you just have to be you and they will still come. I too have de-centred men my whole life without even realising it.
I have solo traveled, even while in a relationship. All vacations DO NOT have to be BaeCations.
SUCH an important topic and conversation and the specific examples were great. There truly are so many ways to live a fulfilling, fun life.
I totally agree with your point of view. I'm a single woman and honestly my first thought when I get invited to some events I go by myself. I think life has taught me to de-center men. I enjoy my alone time and my peace.
I’ve not heard this term before - de-center men - but I live it.
I believe that if you can make it on your own the right person can/will come. If they don’t come or they come and leave for any reason, you will still survive. 💡♥️
What a fantastic topic. I have never really thought about the actions we could take to de-center men. I love this & hope you eventually do a part 2. I want to consciously make these subtle changes. I feel like a lot of small things have changed for me in the past 4 years, but I want more.
Your hair is getting so long. Love it.
Love to hear this topic on your channel. I am on my own journey with decentering men and it has opened my eyes so much. ❤ I have already been encouraging my family to think about ways that we put more value on what men want / find attractive / etc vs focusing on our goals independent of a relationship.
Plus in America, these DV and STI rates are not to be played with...
Hi.
near 9:51 there's marriages that have separate households? Wow! With the costs of rent/mortgages these days... they must be Millionaires!
this was edifying... thnx.
Edifying, indeed. My exact thought. Appreciate your word choice!
In my last relationship( I was divorced five years prior), I learned that every adult should have their own bedroom.
I love this content! I chose not to have children, and until I turned 45, I was constantly questioned about my choice. I applaud anyone who takes the time to really think about what they want for their own life as opposed to bending to society says we "should" want and do!
Assalamualaikum TONI, (ZURI, here lol).
One way I De-Center men. Honestly I don't offer what's not available. Meaning sometimes men think it's a given just because it's them. A HUG, AND SMILE OR A SIMPLE HELLO. I refuse to go out of my way and out of character just because it's a man in my presence. 🎉💜🙂
Great video Toni. I’m separated from my husband and since I’ve decentered men in my life, life has been so fulfilling, peaceful and rich. I didn’t even know that’s what I was doing at the time but I started putting myself and my needs foward and life improved DRAMATICALLY. I’m at such an interesting space as a Christian woman that no longer wants to be bothered with ANY man EVER🤭😧. I just pray to God to have my heart in the right place and not be bitter or angry and to be in line with what God wants for my life (minus the fact that I’m getting divorced lol) This is definitely an interesting time in my life but I’m not mad about it 🤷🏿♀️
I have always lived a life where I decentered men and romantic relationships. Now being married and having a son it has been a balancing act our prioritizing myself and my family. What I lean on is that I must constantly do things that fuel me and if I am balanced I can give love freely. My husband would personally prefer if I prioritize him more but why I love him is he accepts me, my independence and my need to be fueled and nurtured by my tribe that is outside of him. You can have the life you seek when you love freely, celebrate yourself and appreciate the needs around you even if they don’t involve you ❤
I’m loving this video. I am glad I was born into a time when this is an option. I’m focused on building my tribe and a lifestyle that works for me.
You can’t sue a spouse but you surely can anyone else.
I’m my niece’s plus one to a wedding 😁😁
Great topic and point of view . I never considered the concept, but l love it!!
Toni, love this talk and twist! It is a positive way to enrich a person's life. Why is it that when women get a man, they forget about everyone else who was in their life? Keep talking because I'm listening ❤
Continuing my education and enjoying my career as I choose. My ex-husband could not stand that I enjoyed them and thought I should be a stay at home wife (which came up months after marriage) - WHO!?
I feel it's important to maintain who you truly are in the relationship just as you are outside the relationship, respectfully.
Not allowing my true self be who I truly am would have devalued and decentered me.
The women in my family taught me to put high value on me and how my relationships affect the woman I am. If the relationship does not reflect my values, it's a big no because I would only see him and no parts of me. What I want and value is equally important as what the man wants.
I also don't think we have to change our last name if we don't want to. I hyphenated my maiden and married name together because I always liked the concept of two last names. It didn't mean I disrespected him or our relationship. It meant I valued something I wanted, and when the opportunity presented itself, I went for it as with everything else I wanted in life.
Just because you're in a relationship does not mean you can no longer be you. To me, it means you both can enjoy who you are together.
Interesting perspective, Toni.
The thing that’s been gnawing at me for years has been summarized beautifully in this video.
Thank you, once again, Toni Daley.
I am not “off,” “weird,” or “different.” Just logical.
I am heterosexual, married, with one girl. I love my husband and daughter more than life itself; and KNEW, in my soul, there IS another way.
I believe in my Christ as my Lord and Savior, and know there is ANOTHER way.
Thank you for giving me sanity by confirming what I know. There is another way.
I must say initially this was a foreign concept to me because I’m seasoned and felt it was part of the process of womanhood. However my 7 year younger sister is totally on your page. As time has past, I’ve gotten to know her better. I understand her and why she chose to not have kids. She’s an awesome auntie to my awesome sons who are men now, but more than that she is totally happy with her decision.
Great convo.
Gen X on deck🙋🏽♀️😂... Hunni im 55, divorced since January '95 and KID FREEEEE!!!🙌🏾💖🙌🏾 My plan was.....if i didnt have any by age 27, i DIDNT WANT NONE. Didnt happen, so i made damn sho that it didnt.....and NOPES, NO REGRETS HERE. Not a one! Living and loving life. Especially my 50s season. Its EVERYTHANG!! Marriage aint for everybody....neither is living together with a man. Never again, no ty!👎🏾 So much more happier in my life...and keeping it that way.💖
Interesting topic
Toni this was a great topic and I love how you look at friends to be your center. Always felt in relationship men needed more attention although I wanted my friends to be more active in my life sometimes you just need to get away.
💜💜💜 Yes and YES. Love you Toni❣
Most of us of the diaspora whether dropped off on the islands or US come from west Africa and yes...from my studies...pre colonialism and slavery our original culture was indeed matriarchal...yep. dna has memory. ❤
I'm blowing up this spot. So sorry.(not 😂) Another sore point for me is how I see women being encouraged to distance themselves from their girlfriends when they have a man. I so strongly disagree with that. I was always very close with my best friend. We went everywhere together. I think that man was so smart. He observed that there was no way he was going to pry us apart so he would find places where all three of us could go out together. 😂 I still have my group of friends that I hang out with. Female friendships are important. They are with you through the highs and lows. Ok I'm going to stop but I could write a book on this subject.
PLEASE START A PATREON!!!!
Gm Toni! Happy Saturday ❤
Love the hair its longer healthy. I don’t have a man to de-center 😂😂😂
Gm beautiful I enjoy the talk ❤
Great talk Toni ❤ I’ve been single since 2011 and my “partner” in many things is my Brother.
I am Single SINGLE @ 5.0 & NeVa been 👰🏽 but I still want to get Married 1 Day befo I lay down to 😴 for LiFe, just not sure about the Wife part 🤔... I am so Very set in a way of my own, so I am not sure if a man will want to agree with the Life Style I have come accustomed to for myself 😏. I don't want to change him or have him change me, so YahWeh only knows if MaRRige will ever happen for me....... 🤷🏽♀️
PS
GREAT ADVICE TONI!!! ❤😊
thanks for sharing
Thank You
Interesting topic. I thinks there’s a common misconception that in the states there is no multigenerational/cross generational cohabitation. There are many factors contributing to this, however, I know many many families, especially in the south, that are multi/cross generational living. I also I agree with the notion of the plus one not necessarily being a spouse. When I was married (very amicable divorce), my husband did come first, however, not to the exclusion of friends and family. I don’t think I would have married if everyone bore the same weight. Just the same as I love my nieces and nephews but my children are centered first. I do believe if one is not in a relationship learning to decenter will help them find themselves without distraction. I don’t think it’s bitter, but views do come from a place of experience.
Good Morning Toni👋🏾 XOXOXO From Maryland 😊Your hair has grown tremendously and is so healthy and beautiful Share your secret girl 😂😂😂
I agree 100 percent, its not worth it, women in community works out way better, the men today is just a whole other breed. I am divorced 5 years now and child free, best decision I ever made. so much happier and free. PPl are so fooled by this patriarchal society. Men are horrible at leading ijs. Decenter men ladies and live your life! have no regrets because most marriages the women are not happy anymore.
A simple (non-judgmental) question: what do you think about men outside of the idea of centering or de-centering them? Do you find men to have value?
One of the most powerful institutions that reinforces men as the centre is religion on a whole. My mother is gone but last year I called my father and thanked him for never raising me christian.
I agree with showing equal value to friends and family especially the women in our lives, but disagree with being married and having separate accounts, living apart, etc. I would just not get married and do like an Oprah and Steadman arrangement. I also don't know what having kids or not has to do with de- centering men. Maybe I'm missing something there.
Y'all how do you decenter men when you miss affection so badly. I've been single for 5 years after leaving an abusive relationship. I haven't been touched or even have been so much as on a date. I think i have had 3 men approach men in those 5 years. I have no friends, family or tribe and with how judgmental people are these days, finding that is next to impossible. I thrive in partnerships and miss being touched/held. I absolutely love living alone and doing things by myself, but it's frigging lonely. You can have all the self love and still have a hole- That's where i am in.. Mourning the love i have forever craved. I ask the heavens to take away my feelings daily. To not need love and companionship as a black woman would be everything. It's so embarrassing craving love and then seeing every black man with a white woman. I am craving something that doesn't even want me.🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ I'm 36 and already feel this way. I pray I don't use su*c*de ideation as a way out. I am just holding on.
It's ok to still want a man and want affection.
The heart wants what the heart wants and that’s okay. But one thing is for certain - you will attract what you are. You’ve GOT to choose joy and joy will come to you. Have you considered joining a class with other women? You may establish friendships orchestra at the very least, get hugs at each meeting. Human touch is SOOO important and you need it, I agree. It will get better Sis but you have to be here to see it! Keep going!!!
Your matriarchal view point is much more than your opinion. It’s the natural order of life. that dates back to Africa thousands of years ago. Power in African kingdoms was passed through the woman - not that woman were the leaders but the king who ruled had to be born through a woman of that lineage (ex. The next king would be the son of the current kings sister ) and when Europeans came to Africa , the euro women where shocked to see how much opinion African women were allowed to have bc Euro women weren’t even allowed to speak to men outside of their immediate family. And then research the ancient prophettess of Africa , woman naturally ruled until the men became envious & the women were overthrown by the patriarchy. I say this to say .. the patriarchy is a passed down European belief that black American women were forced to adopt after the transatlantic slave trade to America, where we were forced to reject and deny our traditions and beliefs. Caribbean women kept so much more of the African culture and their beliefs bc their slavery wasn’t intended to brainwashed. Sooooo what you said is much more than an opinion, there’s facts to back it.
Don’t have men help you make day yo day decisions. Keep them out of your financial life as well.
Your hair done got long. Can we get an ol nasty silk press one time
Practical but probably controversial to most:.. You will never decenter men if you believe your god is a man. *running for cover*
You're comparing God to the average man.