Understanding Histrionic personality- The Pain Behind the Drama
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- Опубликовано: 25 фев 2020
- Histrionic personality disorder falls into the cluster B grouping of personality disorders. Cluster B refers to the group of personality disorders that share the characteristics of being dramatic, emotional or erratic. And the personality disorders that fit in this group are antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic.
Typically people don’t fit neatly into one personality disorder. It's more common for someone to have a mixture of traits from the different disorders particularly the ones that are within the same cluster.
Keep in mind personality disorders start in the late teen years to early adulthood. It’s not something that shows up for the first time at 30. Also, you can have some of these personality traits without having the full disorder. Personality disorders cause problems that manifest mostly through relationships. But it can also cause internal distress and unhappiness.
Here is the criteria for histrionic personality disorder:
Histrionic personality disorder is A pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention.
2. Your interactions are often sexually seductive or provocative.
3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions.
4. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to yourself.
5. Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail.
6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion.
7. Is suggestible or easily influenced by others or circumstances.
8. Consider relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.
Videos referenced
Are personality disorder mental illness? • Cluster B personality ...
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You don't demonize the sufferer and that's great
Poetry Out Loud *one of the sufferers
(they _and_ those around them suffer)
@@AnHebrewChild yes when the sufferer lacks self awareness.
Poetry Out Loud good point.
Yes, majority of effective mental health workers usually don't. You can't get anywhere with a client or consumer if you're constantly making them feel like shit for things that are compulsive. I think she's simply wonderful.
Well put my friend ty
I used to have a friend like this. I didn’t see it at first then after awhile it became apparent to me that there was something...off about her. She would praise people that she barely knew and say how they are such a good person and so amazing and the person wouldn’t even know who she was. Or she’d greet me and hug and kiss me as if I was her long lost relative she hadn’t seen in years. She’d constantly tell me she loved me and I started to realize she was saying that because she wanted me to praise her the same way but it just didn’t seem natural or appropriate to me. She was beautiful but every time we would go out she would question if she looked good or if she looked fat to the point that I wondered if she was just fishing for compliments because it didn’t make sense otherwise. She would try to discuss “deep” topics and try to seem profound and sometimes if just let her talk until she’d stop and say “wait, what was I talking about?” Or else, when I wasn’t understanding her I’d ask her to explain and she just could not. Nothing she said made sense, it just seemed like a bunch of excerpts from self help books and inspirational quotes jumbled together to seem intelligent, profound, or interesting. When I discovered what HPD was, it all made sense.
Oh wow she sounds just like some of the examples I gave. The example of speaking empty fluff talk is classic. Thanks for sharing. 😊
I used to write to a Lifer inmate who was HPD/Covert NPD who terrorized a woman and he would give compliments without knowing someone. It was odd.
This legit sounds like my friendship with my friend
That sounds like me 😭
@@danielgouge4639 Why would you do that? Just looking for trouble?!?
She is what a psychiatrist should be. So many psychiatrists in my area do not care to gain deep understanding of disorders and just know the psychopharmacology surrounding them. Very impressed with her dedication to going deep into the disorders and not just listing symptoms but giving educated examples.
I'm italian and I study psychology at university, but no one of my professors ever made me really understand how histrionic personality looks like, so thank you very much!
In Russia, we call this disorder ''Hysterical Personality Disorder''. I prefer the term used in this video though.
someone living in italy here diagnosed with it, seems like my psychiatrist/psychologist didn't understand it either lmaooo
I'm a good case study if u need one
That's a Freud era term actually, super outdated, with all due respect
Is that because Italians are naturally dramatic so histrionics just appear normal to them 😂 I'm joking I'm joking before anyone jumps at me JUST A JOKE
Although for real I think it would be interesting to see if there really is a higher prevalence of certain personality disorders in certain cultures over others. For example I wonder if places like Russia or Finland have a higher prevalence of schizoids but it just goes unnoticed because culturally smiling is less common compared to other cultures and those societies have alot of natural distance between people for example people are not expected to engage in pointless small talk
For a second I thought you were rocking some purple locks! You would look stunning!
Thanks Jacqueline. When I saw this look afterwards, it made me want to try it. 😁
@@DrTraceyMarks you definitely should!!
I couldn't agree more, you would rock those purple locks!!!
@@DrTraceyMarks Last week you alluded to a new haircut, I wondered whether you dyed your hair as well. It would certainly be dramatic!
Dr. Tracey Marks break out the overtone!
I was in love with a woman with nearly all of these characteristics, and in contrast, I'm really introverted. Hence I was ENTHRALLED by her, and all of her stories, her compelling sexuality, and her seemingly spectacular boldness. Seeing her in this context makes me understand why she was the way she was and why I was so taken by her. Thank you for the information, Doctor.
What happened next? 🥺
Is there more to this story
I'm just curious, do you have schizoid tendencies by any chance? Sorry if that's offensive, I don't intend it that way.
That's exactly where I am right now man. What did you do
@@lady-adalynI am thinking him ending it on the note,he was taken by her sounds like it didn't end well.
I have a friend who I believe has this disorder. My problem is that she requires all my attention when we are together. I also find it exhausting to be at her level of heightened enthusiasm/drama to interact with her. I often get annoyed with myself after our phone conversations because everything revolves around her talking non-stop. I am only there to listen to her and give her validation. We've been friends for years but I wish I had a better sense of how to handle myself around her and not feel depleted.
Wow! Same here. That's why I am here
Buhuu, I was married for 8 yrs to someone like this. Its was fun 🎉😂
Run while you can
I feel you! Same here!
I have so many friends like this….one of them literally called me the day I got out of surgery and was like “ oh, you had surgery??..cool well anyways I’m changing jobs again and bla bla bla” she talked on and on without needing response for like the next 30-40 minutes about her coworker drama and anxiety issues..no understanding that I just had major surgery a few hours before
i have recently been diagnosed with hpd by my psychologist and it broke me to pieces. i didn't choose this desease, nor my childhood, nor my parents. Thank you for not destroying me by saying "Run to the hills away from these people" or other cruel things i heard in other vids made by life coaches. By the way, do they have long term medical studies like psychiatrists or psychologists have? or can anyone be a life coach by attending a short term course? Because some of their explanations and attitudes here on RUclips do not seem professional.
I could have written that! We are not alone
How have you overcome vague fluff stuff in work settings?
A "Life Coach" is not a medical professional. They are survivors of abuse and help people who are struggling in toxic relationships. They claim to help survivors, they dont treat mental health problems.
Good luck on getting better!
@@JustOneOpinion anyway to get in contact with you? I am so looking for answers on how to get someone I love help?
I've been diagnosed as histrionic and I never lacked punishment in my life. I believe histrionic personality disorder is caused by abuse in family, mostly from being ignored and emotional neglect. Histrionics seek out attention because they never had it by family. They seek attention because they don't know how to get their own needs met without someone else doing it for them. People just assume people who seek attention as spoiled. That is just lazy thinking by doctors because everytime someone doesn't understand someone they just label them as spoiled. also histrionics rarely go to therapy so this is also why little Is known about them. I have went to therapy a lot because I'm not only histrionic but I'm bipolar schizoaffective.
You're right.
It is said, if histrionics go to therapy, it’s mostly over a heartbreak or depression.
In "someone I know"s case, I think she got a lot of attention until about age 6 when her parents had twins. She wasnt the cutest anymore and her desire for thr attention she got as a young child never went away
@@meaghanmackenzie wow that is crazy cause my mom's love was always fickle but she gave me a lot of love and attention when I was very young despite s**ual abuse and then one day she just emotionally neglected me and gave me other types of abuse for some reason. So maybe that could be a thing with histrionic personality disorder even though the personality disorder is hugely not studied.
@@annakolla8777 and that's crazy cause a lot of time I didn't know how to ask for help but when ever I had a heartbreak it was like the end of the world and I immediately went to therapy again
In regards to accepting responsibility for your personality disorder, the key for me was to let go of any moral judgements or shame while searching inside of me, no matter what. You can be sincerely apologetic to people you’ve wronged without hating yourself. And taking away judgement means anything and everything is safe to be explored, recovered, and healed. Get curious about everything you habitually think, say, do, and feel. It’s hard work but it won’t be like this forever. Good luck. You deserve a good life, and you can have it.
Thank you for the information on this personality disorder. My best friend's daughter was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. After watching this, I believe she probably had some overlap with histrionic personality disorder as well. She was murdered by a serial killer; she trusted way too much way too soon. He was found guilty of her murder and two others, I hope he rots in hell. We never understood her very well. She was prone to hysterical tantrums, lavish displays of affection, on-again-off- again sexual relationships and emotions she seemed to turn on and off at will. We couldn't believe anyone could be so "over the top" without it being deliberately manipulative. Her illness will remain a puzzle her brokenhearted family will never be able to solve.
Oh my goodness that’s so sad. What a tragic ending. But yes the way you describe her sounds very histrionic. I think histrionic personality disorder is one we just don’t talk about very much. It’s not as popular and I think borderline in women stands out so much more that histrionic features get overshadowed by it.
I have an in-law like this. I’ve always wondered if it was a personality disorder. He lies often and unnecessarily. Exaggerates pay, tells big stories of tall tale status, becomes easily irritated and angry, is emotional and excited, sings in public out of nowhere, etc etc.
It’s exhausting to be cornered with a tale. I’m an introvert. I need alone time and a nap afterward. 😂
Lol
OMG that is my late FIL
"I need alone time and a nap afterward", lol. This is so true. It is exhausting to try to socialize with these people because they are so dramatic and over the top.
Is about past-present-future. Define your integrity, as a person, as a public institution, as an organization and how can you coop with others´s disorders. Gotcha ?
I've never heard it explained like this. Thank you. I can now see why I would fit the criteria.
You’re welcome Aerin! I’m so glad that was helpful for you.
Same here
@@fredericmoresmau4303 could you translate that for me?
Thank you Ma’am for the insight, I dated a lady who fits in all the descriptions you gave and I don’t judge people with the disorder but stress they produce in a relationship is very much unacceptable.
Well said
I just "friendship broke up" with my friend of many year who I think definitely was histrionic and/or borderline. I realised after too long how I just was the introvert listener that she would never listen to and that would just be here to validate her and give her so, so much attention. She also litterally fell in love with every man she chatted with for more than a few days.
And dressed flashily, always changed haircut and wore heavy make up.
It broke my heart to go away, but her refusal to admit that she was hurtful to me and some other people was just too much.
I just had my best friend stay with me for two weeks. I always knew something was not right with her but now I know for sure. I might end the friendship, I'm not sure yet. I'm also the introvert listener. My friend puts her sexuality on display when we meet any males. She speaks super loud in my apartment or in public as if she wants my neighbours or others to hear her. She lies and exaggerates stories. Worst of all, she is delusional about men. She met one man recently and they spoke for an evening. She sent him a gift afterwards and travelled half way across the world to see him. I told her that he was not interested and her behaviour was unhealthy. The man ghosted her and said he was away when she went to his country. She treats me with little respect while praising people she barely knows. It's going to be a hard decision since we've been friends since childhood.
I know you wrote this a while ago oml do i relate.. I've always been very introverted and im on the opposite spectrum where sometimes i don't allow people to know me fully.. i had a freind that was soooo attention seeking she would call/text for every little thing daily to tell me what she was doing or needed advice. Everywhere we went she would talk over or people or insert herself in a convo she was not part of. She also felt every single man must be interested in her and tried to persue them in the oddest ways... i finally let go of her when i realized i had given so much of my ear to her that when i hit a really hard place she didn't even wanna hear about it. That was it for me. I feel so bad for her because after watching this video i don't think i realized how deep that behavior was rooted in trauma. But it's interesting that this type of person usually tends to try and get their fix off of their polar opposites.
@@chickenbeef1242 I feel you sister, I hope you can focus on yourself a bit now and who knows, maybe she'll realise she screwed up something by making you leave, and then she'll grow too
@@kyliekrisp7201 r u jealous or sth?
I know someone like this and it is utterly exhausting. Never have I known another grown adult who needed so much validation and attention.
This explains a lot of people I've known.
Like, scarily accurate.
😊
I had a best friend for years. It was all drama all the time and the kind of drama where I have to find out what was wrong. Manipulated me over years. I told her once that I have the feeling that I have problems with my feelings. As in: I don’t feel anything if you tell me something about your life. She told me I was sick and should see a therapist. I finally saw somehow in a divine moment of clarity: there was nothing out of the ordinary with me. I just had enough of the drama and the manipulation. I cannot win this game and she is not valuing me as a person nor my wishes. In every conversation I can only loose. So: I walked away from it and cut all boundaries. I tell you what: it feels great and my life is now calm and beautiful.
Same here I also suffered from someone like that. I consider myself a very empathetic person and I would work hard to help my troubled friend but with a condition they have to be worth it. The moment they manipulate you, devalue you, they are not worth it. Life is too short to be accompanied with those kinds of people while there are tons of better ones out there
kap
An incredibly close, former friend of mine suffered from this; he was like family, but the endless koas, lies, and attempts to manipulate got very old. Like you, I have a lot of empathy and wanted to help him; but it’s truly impossible when someone has this condition. It’s sad to see someone with so much denialism and self sabotage, but I’m very happy that I cut all ties and moved on. Never been happier.
This is my first time hearing about this disorder. I have been trying to pinpoint what is off about a friend of mine. I narrowed it down to “dramatic.” Because everything, and I mean everything seems done in a dramatic or superficial way and it’s draining me to the point where I may just have to end the friendship entirely. So I looked up “dramatic personality disorder” and this is the first thing that came up. I look forward to looking deeper into the subject. This video was a great start. Thanks
You were very smart to do some research
I think that I have this personality disorder since I was 15, because I feel very uncomfortable each time I'm not the center of attention, I overacted many times crying in class with my classmates and more things, including post in ig big stories of myself to attract atention or have excessive sexuality behaviour with friends without second intentions (some of them was very confused for this)
Nowadays, I'm 22 and I have problems with people the most of the symptoms daily.
I'm annoyed because any therapist give me a diagnose and I believe I need it... my family normalized the situation a long time ago and they tried to help me sometimes with some of my behaviours but I didn't listen to them.
It is about time that there was a good video about Histrionic Personality Disorder, that explains it well and with compassion.
Personality disorders cause problems that manifest mostly through relationships
Great video! This is my mother exactly. The children were always the problem and not her. She never looked for help because she didn't think she had a problem.
How’d you get out and away? My Mam is diagnosed and idk what to do.
My coworker is diagnosed with histrionic, somatic-something (cant remember the name) and ADDH. Every day at work is super intense because she's intense and she often cries on my shoulder because she looks up to me, she says, (i'm 10 years older than her) and tells me a new made-up story every week. This week's made-up story is that she was raped some years ago and that she just recently remembered that memory. Her sister and father told me to just ignore what she says, but when she's crying I cant be mean to her. I try to calm her down, tell her to drink water, take a breath... Meanwhile I have a lot of work to do and I can't be wasting so much time listening to her fantasies and dramas while I try to work. They won't fire her because she's the daughter of a boss. She can't handle a stable job or routines, she skips work a lot and is a hipocondriac. I've been searching online for info on how to deal with this person in a kind way without getting too personally involved (a lot of coworkers treat her horribly), but there's almost no info out there on how to deal. I give her boundaries, but I'm forced to work with her on the same project for 8 hrs a day, and I can't escape her, so i'd like to learn how to deal, but i cant find much.
I think I have some characteristics from Histrionic disorder. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder with an episode of psicotic depression. And all you were telling is true. We can have a mixture of these ones. I´m always struggling with these behaviors I have, It´s like being a double person and it´s living inside of you and you can´t cut it off from your mind. Your videos are so helpful, keep doing them. Love you
Thanks for explaining this. 17 years ago, I think was diagnosed with this during a 5 minute visit at a military psychiatrist appointment in which I was seeking treatment for anxiety. I was accused of lying about anxiety and then ordered to fill out some strange multiple choice test that was full of silly questions. I didn't take the test seriously because I was angry about being accused of malingering, so I just bubbled in answers in a "Christmas tree" shape, dropped the clipboard on the receptionists desk, and went back to work.
Since then, the diagnosis has randomly reappeared on my records, but quickly dismissed as a misdiagnosis, but nobody has ever explained to me what it was.
Now I know for a fact I don't have this disorder, because I don't exhibit anything like you described, and am almost the opposite in every category you identified.
Military psychiatry is a joke. And people wonder why the VA system is so overwhelmed.
They thought you were seeking attention by being a smart-a s with the Christmas tree. Maybe just take it seriously and they would’ve too.
Dr Marks, You're a brilliant teacher. Another interesting and useful presentation. Thank you.
You’re welcome L Kay and thank you so much. 😊
Uh oh, I fit into most of these behaviors. I have never heard of Histrionic Disorder. This was very informative, thank you!
Probably the best presentation on the subject I've seen (or read) so far. A few other problems w/HPD is that it's very difficult to convince one who suffers from it, that there is anything wrong, hence, getting them into therapy is extremely difficult. Another is that due to the attention seeking, they may be in a position to help someone, begin to do so, and then suddenly tell them to get out! And, of course she will blame the person she promised to help.
I work with one girl like this 5/7 of the symptoms. I know I'm no professional but I have literally never met anyone that acts so insecure but also comes off so arrogant. Such a paradox of a personality. She also thinks any guy who is nice or compliments her are madly in love with her. But never seems to have any relationships work out but it's always 100% her ex fault and she's the victim. Wants to be the center of attention.
This is my ex,,
I feel like this is almost me but I *ALWAYS* think it's my fault and I'm actually convinced I shouldn't get married or have kids because I'm gonna mess it up and I wouldn't want a child involved in that. I feel like I come off as really arrogant or narcissistic, but I actually used to have body dysmorphia. People thought I was fishing for compliments but I couldn't see myself as I really was. Now that I'm kinda heavy though, I don't have dysmorphia 😂
They are also extremely vindictive towards women as they are in a competition for every man’s attention. They have no boundaries, all male friends she hangs with are usually friends with benefits. They can have a combination of Brad Pitt and Valentino and they would cheat with someone they aren’t even attracted to because it’s about the conquest and the feeling they get from the act. Then they wake up depressed and anxious until the bar or party at night and it’s time to go again. Obsessed with there appearance and sexuality, are highly suggestible, and can get caught in a lie and stare you in the eye and lie over and over again. These women play victim, martyr, hero. In relationships they may say “ I’m going to win.” They twist the truth to match their needs and lack any self awareness for their words and actions and the damage they cause to others. They are never responsible for their actions, absolutely abhor accountability and act like pre adolescent children. They especially like the attention from authority figures and will call the police or there flying monkeys to get back at their partner for not letting them have their way going as far as pressing bogus charges on them and causing them great damage. They use authority figures like errand boys and they are prone to substance abuse and they never apologize because it’s never their fault, even if everyone sees them do it. They will tell on themselves if you just listen and their actions never match their words. I just rejected an 8/8. They go a scorched earth and are like toddler throwing a tantrum but play with adult consequences for everyone involved with them. Go no contact and run as fast as you can. They are shady as F and will do anything to get that dopamine fix with sex, even though they are usually frigid to a large degree because they lack the ability for intimacy. They will invite the whole town into your bedroom if you ever are successful at making them achieve orgasm and will tell anyone that will listen that you are a sex freak. In short, they have driven partners who stay with them to a nervous breakdown through a systematic brainwashing and gaslighting. Learn to spot them. They are fun for about a week, are serial cheaters, and expect scorched earth when you bolt! There vengeance knows no bounds!☮️❤️
@@phoenixrisin2269 them seem possessed with succubus spirits, dated one.
I had a college classmate like that, which totally ignored me for 2 years, then exploded at the other extreme, then went back to frigid attitude like you don’t even exist. Years later I was told that she’s seeking contact and wanted me to congratulate her on the birth of her second child and on her 30th birthday. Mind you, in 3 years she spoke to me once. She did notice one outright arrogant narcissist and another guy who wanted to bed her, but scored with another girl a few days later.
I feel like I have this. I maladaptively daydream a lot about being famous and inspirational to people and about what they would say at my funeral. I have in depth fantasies about people crying over my death and talking about what a wonderful person I was. I faked almost passing out at work one time to get the attention of a guy I had a crush on. During a zoom meetup with my theatre group when each of us read monologues I copied and pasted all of the compliments my fellow group members wrote in the chat and emailed them to myself. I read them over and over again. I write really long emotional facebook statuses that I look back on and cringe. I'm very sentimental at times and I want to cry and hug people and have big emotional moments when I notice others aren't that into it. I idolize certain celebrities and feel close intense connections to them without having ever met them. (not sure if that's a histrionic thing or something else) I play up my struggles in front of people (mostly on social media) because I like the attention and sympathy it gets me. It's like a drug. I sometimes maladaptively daydream about being a different version of myself in which other tragic things happen to me like the death of a loved one or having cancer so it makes me more interesting to other people. The only thing I don't identify with is being sexually promiscuous or provacative, but I think that's just because I'm asexual. A lot of this has gotten in the way of me being a person and having interests and passions and a full life. It's not a fun thing to admit about yourself
That's sounded like a lot of self realisation. Hope you find the way to being healthier.
Wow, that’s screwed up. So glad you’re not in my life.
Honestly, i would love a video from this channel on maladaptive daydreaming!
It's good that you have admitted that about yourself. It's not a shame or a fault to have a personality disorder. Cluster B are considered maladaptive because they often of not always come from a place of childhood abuse and negligence, and exist because of strong coping mechanisms people unconsciously put up to deal with their suffering.
It's helpful to attend therapy, the most advised being DBT, so the causes can be more explored and possible trauma can be better processed, so you can start healing. As well as finding other ways to feel better that doesn't demand attention or praise, to help you break this habit.
I think a lot of cluster B's issues comes from issues with self-worth and low self-esteem. I think being able to see there's indeedgood on yourself, and it needs no proof or validation to be there. And that you're not lacking in worth and qualities compared to anyone else. I'm not sure if people with HPD think like this, but I wonder if you fellows just doubt your value, and thus feel like you need other to say to to "prove" you have it, maybe? I'm just speculating.
If it's the case, then I think the concept of self-compassion might be helpful for some. Basically treating yourself like you'd treat a dear friend. Because even if the people we find dear is obviously flawed like any human being is, they still deserve compassion and understanding, like any person does. So, you can see your own flaws and not think that you're inadequate for it. Lacking things is normal and natural part of human life, and you don't need to judge yourself or anyone for it. And you can also see the good in yourself and focus on it, without really ignoring your flaws, but viewing yourself as a whole and accept and care about yourself.
@@isabellas4120great and kind message thank u
Sometimes you have to break contact. I had to and I really don't feel bad about it. I was being smothered and gaslighting was out of control.
Ikr. I also suffered from the same kind of person and sometimes it was so bad to the point you dont want to have anything to do with them. You gotta love yourself first.
@@DungTran-to4vm I was smothered by a friendship that became scary/ creepy. My husband noticed how she'd always copy me.
Then she began " playing games" to get attention when I put more emphasis into our other friendships.
Sadly, I had to break all ties. We believe she has histrionic traits . A friendship cannot treat mental health issues.
I recently was diagnosed with this. The doctor that did my evaluation said I show milder symptoms as well as on the autism spectrum in what would have been considered Asperger's. The doctor told me that it is likely that these issue would have been more pronounced had I not started a medication regimen about a year before testing.
When I watch this video i6 see a lot of what people have been talking about in regards to me and this diagnosis. It also helped me understand my relationship dynamics much better. I'm very thankful to live in a time with such empathetic resources.
I've been in talk therapy for many years and I think thats whats helped me avoid the worst of the worst. Now we have much clearer goals to work towards. We've settled on a DBT/CBT combo. It really does come down to those thought processes and working through the why (if any) and deciding on the best way to make adjustments. Just me experience with this disorder.
Thanks Dr. Marks. Your videos help so much!
That necklace you have on is gorgeous!
Thank you. A friend made it. I’ll have to let her know.
I love this woman lol . I don't have any deep mental issues but it does go hard in my family so it's amazing to get information about everything n being able to understand them more . Also black female doctor 😍😍😍❤❤❤
I met a girl who has histrionic personality disorder, she loved to be the center of the attention and being the star of the gym class.
What I found odd was that the people around her did not seem to see her game. For years, she revolved around my bf, until he cheated on me with her. She was crying for him, doing a lot of drama but cheating on him at the same time. She left him overnight to engage with his best friend. She seems to have many faces and adapts her personality according to others, she tells them what they want to hear to be loved like a thirsty dog.
Soraya - is sad what happened to you but at least, you discovered what kind person your boyfriend was. God bless you
@@CaToRi- yes 🙏🏼
Sorry to hear. I confused my wife’s behavior for narcissism, but it seems more like hpd. After a month of us dating, she loses her job at her cousin’s law office. Doesn’t have a job for months, gets another job at a domestic violence center through her mother. Loses that in less than a year. “Impressionistic” speech, I couldn’t understand how she’d reach some of her conclusions. Most of them were non sensical. Very manipulative. Had family over for a few weeks, six of us in the house, she asked everyone if they wanted tea, two said no, one she had to convince, she comes to our room and says,”do you want tea, everyone’s asking for it.” Would lie about simple things, for no reason. Wondered why our communication was off. Would never apologize for things. Would completely revise history of events or tell an event with a kernel of truth. Found out she cheated on me with people from several jobs that she’s had over the years. A complete waste of time and energy.
@@VonJayWooow your story is crazy. there are a lot of malicious people on the street, unfortunately they always come across the right people. The saddest thing is that they will probably never realize their behavior.
I’m a new therapist and I REALLY appreciate you and your channel. ☺️
If developmental trauma has caused a personality disorder (aka certain ego defenses which were once needed and highly adaptive, but are now a source of pain) to develop, EMDR can be very helpful towards giving clients a choice over their reactions/defenses. In this trauma-focused framework, your root problem isn’t your personality disorder, but the unresolved trauma. EMDR is wonderful for allowing change in what was once thought of as rigid and permanent (aka personality disorders)!
I really appreciate the examples you give, for those who are trying to figure out themselves, better their experiences in the world, really need that kind of information so we can put things into perspective and make changes/heal. Thank you so very very much.
In all seriousness I don’t know if it’s this or I’m just a Leo.
You're so direct and didactic, it's refreshing to see content like this!
It would be a great experience to have you as a professor, very engaging and clear with the information. Great video, Dr. Marks!
I know someone who fits this diagnosis to a T. For the longest time I just thought they were really superficial and sleezy.. I guess we really have to give people benefit of the doubt
Careful with that. There is often overlap with NPD or other disorders.
These personalities can be toxic in relationships.
Its all created and made thanks to this modern society
@@ryarbrough1195 yea i know, I used to be that overly empathetic person that excuses peoples toxic behaviors just because they were abused for example. Now with educating myself watching these videos, I am more aware of what I might potentially be getting myself into.
You laid this out in the open more clearly than all the other sources I’ve found on here. Thank you!
I am not histrionic but your hair does look great and you look extraordinarily beautiful.
I’m particularly acquainted with the histrionics who aren’t doing the sexuality thing, being hypochondriac instead! Works a charm... always an over-anxious response to bodily experiences. Always needs someone to go with them to the hospital (because remember they can’t really be alone. That would defeat the purpose since they aren’t sick, they want attention and if they’ve chosen sympathy then their sickness must be ‘for’ an audience of some sort).
A friend of several years had became oddly possessive when I reconnected with an even older friend that I had lost touch with due to our life circumstances.
I then noticed the other friend asking prying questions & making disparaging remarks about the person I'd reconnected with. She then began to, for lack of any better discription- play games to manipulate getting my attention .
This quite frankly scared me, & to the degree it occurred was so off putting that I broke all ties with her.
My husband agreed with my decision since he noticed how she was always copying/ imitating me. We believe she has histrionic traits.
My first clue should have been years ago when she said , "You have maintained friendships throughout your life & I haven't. "
I am trying to figure out my mom. I see Histrionic and Dependent related associations. Much have impacted me with depression and anxiety, as well as a general sense of feeling inadequate throughout life, now in adulthood. Lots of work ahead! Thanks for the video.
Same boat. Good to see you're working on it. Don't think I could persuade my mom to ever consider that, so self-work first is probably the way.
This channel is an invaluable resource for lay people. Thank you very much, Doctor!
You’re so welcome WeeWeeJumbo 😊
Agreed!
My sister is like this and it is haunting all of us because she has a new born child and she doesn't want to take care of him.
Poor kid.
This is my sons fathers. He’s completely ruined my trust because getting attention is more important than my trust.
I've scored highly in this on personality quizes. I relate to the symptoms but the one I find most hurtful is my perception of relationships. I get attached very quickly and like people so find it really hard when they don't show that energy back. I'm also told I'm very flirty and provocative and have been trying to work on it as that also gives people wrong impressions of me.
Thank you for making these videos.
Fascinating... my coworker fits this to a "T". Thank you Dr. Marks for your precision and clarity of concepts. Love your necklace 😍
Thank you anonymous. I’m glad you got value from this. 😊
I am an introvert and very different from others. I do enjoy some interaction but not too much.
wow, this is so well explained. And it's nice to gain a better understanding of what the person with HPD is actually feeling!
I can't thank you enough for this, Dr Marks! This is so helpful! I think that's the first video that exlains hpd so well, it's short and informative. And thanks for not making these people look like self-centered demons. I don't know how i've missed this video, glad I found it anyway! Thanks again for making it! Best wishes!
Thank you for the knowledge imparted, Doctor!! Always appreciate your work. Keep it up, Doc! ❤❤❤
You’re welcome Nio and thank you for watching. 😊
raise your hand if you’re the “low key” person that is drawn to those who fit this description. 🥴🙋🏽♀️
Lol!
o no 😂😭😂😭 not anymore though 👍
Sadly, yes lol
never was but have seen it so much
I was diagnosted with HPD 🙋♂️
I feel that empathy is needed in discussing these materials and you are demonstrating just that. Oftentimes it seems like people who talk about these have become personally bitter and have problems themselves.
Thank you for this video! I just received your calendar in the mail, and I'm loving it!
Oh wow thank you Rosana for getting it!!! 😊👍🏽
I love the effort you put into your thumbnails
You are very informative, while also being empathetic. The way you provide your audience with concrete examples of traits of HPD is amazing!
I have cerebral palsy, with diagnosed cluster B traits (histrionic and borderline). I remember my symptoms kicking off around 15, when I had a friend that I was attached to in an unhealthy and ineffective way. I took my whole bottle of Prozac in front of her.
I’m in individual DBT, and I hope to get into my group DBT again. I had six months under my belt, and I hope to complete it soon.
Thank you
Thanks Haydn and thank you for sharing your experience. Six months of DBT is a really good start. I hope it’s very helpful for you at usually is. 😊
Dr. Tracey Marks I had periods of poor insight, and I also had periods of great awareness and gratitude for the skills I was taught.
I really appreciate your kind words and your content :)
Thank you for making these videos, Dr. Marks!
I love how you always use "you" and "I" in your videos instead of othering people, it really makes your videos stand out :)
Out of everyone on Utube, you explain everything throughly. A friend was just diagnosed sed and I would like to know how to be a peacemaker but have boundaries too.
That's nice, you're a good friend
This is so sweet. When I hear ppl talking about knowing people with personality disorders the response is usually "I need to get away from them immediately" & not often "I want to know how to maintain a healthy relationship with someone with that disorder"
Please make more videos about this!! It is rare to find anyone who knows this stuff let alone respects someone who suffers from it. My whole life I was treated like I was some kind of menacing devious selfish whore -- while I NEVER slept with people, my behavior was just judged endlessly by people who misunderstood me. My husband recently told me it seems my need for constant attention is not because I'm just emotional or dissatisfied, but rather, the lack of good relationships ( like with my parents in childhood ) had affected me more subconsciously than I knew. Like, I always felt I was desperately trying to blend in, act "normal", try to chase after my goals, success... But in reality, I was sticking out, outrageously needy, miscommunicating and I felt like everything around me was lost in translation over my need for love. What I thought was common sense about healthy attention and relationships was not at all in reality. And I need to learn more about this, because it's an issue that can RUIN your reputation all because you are unaware of what you are making people around you feel. These behaviors truly feel normal. And all I can do it hide and hide and hide. But my hiding becomes OBVIOUS to people and then everyone is so confused by my actions. I'm not trying to spill too much. I just need more videos from this lady !!
Dr. Marks, thanks to you and your loved ones for the time and effort that you put into your videos to help those with M.H.issues or their loved ones. Take care and GOD BLESS
You’re welcome Tom. I really enjoy it. I’m glad it brings value to you.
This video is so helpful. I'm recommending your channel to all my cohort mates in my PsyD program. So helpful!
I love your informational videos and I love your style! I am a psychiatric nurse practitioner and work in a residential and I conduct a group where I show one of your videos and we have an open discussion about the topic.
She’s describing my
Mother.
Likewise😔☹️
Ditto
look n ur mirror - waaalaaah - mirror image of hu ........! takes one too no 1 :) smile it suits u xoxo
@@miself what? Lol. You need help.
@@iliketurtles1027 i no, thank u ford remindin me ...
Oh my god this is by far the most interesting and insightful video yet. I think I can relate to these factors with myself and many others like me who are always trying to do better and improve our quality of living. Your one the best doctors ive ever met cheers and thankyou Tracey Marks xo
Thank you for helping me understand this . I really enjoy these videos. The way you explain the differences between disorders is very helpful.
Omg I love these thumbnails she makes 😭
Thank you!
Damn you have the skin of a 20 year old! Oh crap too soon to give you a compliment like that 😕
Lol! I’ll take that. Thank you. I’m far from 20 though 😊
😂😂👌🏿
Because she's a counselor she most likely knows that taking care of others has to start with taking care of yourself. Genetics help. The one easy thing a person can do to improve the look as well as health of their skin is to drink enough water to stay hydrated. She does have beautiful skin!!!
a close friend just opened up to me about having this disorder- lord is it difficult to find resources online that don’t demonise it! thank you so much for this video, it was really informative + a great explanation!
Thank you for mentioning DBT. Not enough professionals offer information about dialectical behavior therapy and it absolutely saves lives!
You're welcome. I talk about more in borderline pd playlist ruclips.net/p/PLazcP3-djRZ13W32JLF6SO2N0NHKl2fxM
Woah I thought you dyed your hair purple! 😅
I kinda want to...😊
Hannah Hahaaaa! Yeah, you can find apps to do it to your pictures too!
@@DrTraceyMarks try a wig that color! It looks great on you and a wig gives you freedom to switch between a fun free look to a serious professional look with your natural hair. You should look into a wig because that color really does look amazing on you!
great information; when we observe challenges others appear to be experiencing we can best determine how to interact with them.
Yes very true and thank you.
I am glad I found this video. I was someone who showd signs like these and currently trying to stop it , thank you for your explanations!
Thank you so much Dr. Marks! Excellent presentation on HPD. One of the best I've seen yet. Really helps me to understand her behavior. I agree that we need to keep in mind that it's common to have a mixture of traits from different disorders. Glad I discovered you. Thanks again.
I’ve been diagnosed with borderline but I feel like this aligns with me. It’s embarrassing.
My abusive adoptive parents taught me to lie to avoid their violence, now I lie to literally everyone. The worst part is I only feel kinda bad about it
Man that’s deep
I like this video, thanks for posting this. I’m clearly understanding my limitations. This type of person seems like they could be very annoying
Dr. Marks I am struggling with my mental health so bad lately… I just want to say I truly admire your professionalism
Thanks for this video. I have a coworker, who is new to me as of four months and I’m seeing some of these personality traits. What I’m seeing is that she mimics me a lot with things I say or do. When I say that I’m going home to work out she’s gonna do the same. When I say that I am purchasing an item or if she finds out that I have a certain item, she’s going to purchase it and five months later she still doesn’t have it. She wants my hairstyle but she gets her hair done every month and she still wears it in ponytail. She told me that her beautician always wanted her hair to be cut like mine. I’m training her for this job, I can tell her something but then she repeats it in a different way as if it was her thoughts , not mine. This is very different for me I am just trying to figure out how to handle it. I keep telling myself not to share much with her because if I do, she’ll say that she did the same thing and you get tired of hearing it and she repeats herself. I don’t know what to do I just ignore her.
I would say to keep her on an information diet for anything not work related and maintain / rotate a set of neutral responses that deter follow-up or just switch things back to her or the work topic at hand.
Over the years I have come to the realization that not every question requires a response and I've come to practice being good with 'uncomfortable' silence or pauses while in person and on the phone. It's almost a game now. I'm finding that the older I get the less and less I care about what people think. Wish I was schooled to this decades ago.
If you Google 'how not to answer a (personal) question', it'll bring up a lot of helpful scripts and methods. Also, the Ask A Manager Q&A blog and Captain Awkward sites are good too for work and interpersonal advice. The comments sections are great as well for extras. HTH.
Could you please explain Narcissism in a future video in the same format? It would be very interesting to learn why this behavior exist and to better understand individuals with this class b personality. Thank you for your time and consideration. Your videos are so educational and help me to connect with different people in my life. I try to accept everyone in my life but sometimes it feels hard to connect when others have certain personality disorders.
Thank you for this video! You present the info so clearly, and precisely.
Thank you Vici 😊
I did not intentionally seek out information on this disorder originally. I was watching cinema therapy's episode on HarleyQuinn and didn't understand. I feel like your video makes more sense to me; thank you for you and everyone who puts their own video on here. Everyone is saying the same thing but they say it a different way. I just happened to understand this particular explanation.
I’ve been binge watching your videos and I find it... interesting.... that so many of these align very closely with a lot of specific influencers and public figures or politicians
Lol binge watching...
In my country there is a “socialitè” that is like the Dr said: always dress way too sexy, she had a lots of relationships where when she met a man, in a few days she says he is a boyfriend and a few weeks later she will say they are planning the wedding.... and that’s when the guy run for his life 🏃🏻 When the guy is gone, she then gives interviews to local press talking about how guys can’t see how a wonderful woman she is... and then the cycle starts again with the next guy. Social media is always laughing at her and making bets about how many days her relationship will last.
That’s really sad - especially if she can’t See how she’s contributing to the problem. Then that means the cycle will continue.
Wow interesting. I wonder who it is?
J 2004 I had a classmate like that in college. She used to be that way with military men, then when she heard me say I’m an Air Force ver, she started saying she was in the navy 🙊, I called her out on it and she admitted to that story being a lie, but she kept trying to feed that crock tii oh our non-veteran classmates. Some of them, in spite of not being veterans didn’t find much sense in her stories, so they always took it with a grain of salt, but some others truly bought her tales then were disappointed about her when I told them she was making it all up
sounds like someone i know on 90 DAY FIANCE!!
Thank you...I'm struggling as a parent to understand what we're going through, and this helped me understand the parameters and framework of what my kid is experiencing,
Concise, intelligent information that is eay to follow & listen to. Truly gifted with the art of conveying information. More than educational. Enliigtening.
I wish I had come across these examples a few years ago. Would've saved me a hell of alot of toxic energy I put up with.
She's very helpful. I believe my sister is histrionic. It's tough. Love her though.
As a Bipolar type 1 patient, is so educating to watch your videos, thank you.
You are an amazing educator! I’ve learned so much from the videos and now reading your book.❤
I think my partner has this disorder. He creates family in people he doesn't even know, and goes out of his way to be seen and acknowledged
Oh man. I know someone with all but one of these, or the swift intimacy/closeness is not toof ast but still comes in in subtle ways. Ouch. And of course they will never ever admit to these traits. And they get away with these things by knowing when to pull back, but also WILL smash right back into the behavior later. I do not know about feeling and for their issues; usually when called out they insist that the stranger they walked right up to to compliment them but then was confronted with questions and clear distrust, well that person who just had all boundaries breached is 'unwell, distrustful and I bet is miserable and alone, maybe even is a Narcissist.' Well, most people are uncomfortable at least when this person approaches or suddenly starts being 'kind and supportive' but all initially show confusion, discomfort and wariness, as if they are about to be asked for something. They usually are not, but there is a latent expectation that the priase they did not ask for should be returned, and the 'friendliness' should be reciprocal.
I tend to avoid social situations with this person, and even errands to the store can be frustrating, as they take a LONG time to find and purchase two bags of groceries. They stroll SLOWLY along every aisle, despite never drinking soda, and not needing any hygene or vitamins, etc. They are seeking either someone to approach, or hoping to be approached themselves, that became clear. And they refuse to see that this needlessly long time inside the store is disrespectful to me or anyone else shopping with them, since we're always finished and often have more than they are getting, in 1/3 the time they need to shop. They do not respect ANYONE'S time, not even their own!
Thank you for this video. I've been slowly seeking some concepts of what sort ofpersonality I am obsering here, and hopefully can find some tips for delfecting or avoiding these behaviors. By the way, I receive very different treatment by now since I do not play along anymore. I am dealing with some very clear Narcissistic behaviors, attempts to be dominant and more important, to be strong armed into serving them all day with tiny 'favors' and get steamrolled when I am not cooperating or pleasing enough. I thought this list of behaviors was just Narcissism, but now I see differently. There are similarities, but to see ALL of these here, they do not all fit with Narc behavior. There is no malice in these behaviors to strangers, new people, or even established friends. That malice would arise from the Narc within, as I understand.
Great work, thank you.
So I have a family member who has low spectrum BPD and he isn't erratic nor dramatic and he doesn't have narcissistic traits more than would be found in a "healthy individual". He is never histrionic. He is quiet, has stable relationships, has had stable intimate relationships and is compliant with therapy. He still has relationships with childhood friends!!! Attention scares him. He is an introvert and prefers quiet and small groups of friends. He is low- spectrum BPD. He is also in remission. He really practices CBT, DBT and mindfulness. He is controlling his emotions very well. I am so so so proud of him!!! 😘👏👍🎉🎇🎊🤗
I had this one GF who would make out like scenes from a movie and the sounds. She would talk gibberish or discussion would turn into bizarre/theoretical chatter about nothing. It was so frustrating dealing with her. But I pondered upon that behavior for many years in search of understanding the disconnect. Thanks mam 👏🏽 awesome tone with clear and concise information
Wow. I have never heard of this disorder. *The more you know.* ☁️🌈✨