1. Cutting people off during a conversation. 2. Scrolling through your phone. 3. Chuckling 4. Frequently completing sentences for the other speaker. 5. Looking elsewhere when someone is talking to you. 6. Moving your body restlessly. 7. Claiming you know it all. 8. Giving unsolicited advice. 9. Monopolising the conversation. 10. Being insensitive to the other person's feelings. 11. Going on and on about yourself. 12. Trying to out do the other speaker. 13. Dismissing the other speaker's submission as irrelevant. 14. Asking private questions. 15. Keeping mute and allowing the discussion to be One-sided. 16. Having earphones in, during conversation.
Today I learn of my bad habit . Giving unsolicited advice on everything. I always have advice on everything but from today ,I learn to keep it to myself unless am asked to do so ❤thanks Vivienne
I am middle aged, healthy caucasian man. I am grumpy and unpolite as hell. I found your video inspiring and useful. In fact I listen to it every 1-2 months just to get my head straight. This had postive effect on my life. Everybody noticed I am nicer. So I figured time to show a little respect by payimg :-)
Another thing that I find very disturbing is when people look on their smart watch during a conversation. Looking at your clock during a conversation used to be a signal that you are bored and want to get out of the situation. Even if someone is just checking who texted, it still comes across rude, I find.
I don't own a smart watch, maybe I'm a little out dated 🙂 but I do have a regular watch. And this was a great point to add. As checking the time, is a definite way of signalling you are bored or ready to go! Loved this! Thanks for sharing. ❤️
I think some of these things depend on the people and the situation mainly when it comes to frequently checking phone or smart watch. If it's a person I barely know or a neighbor n we're just making spontaneous small talk bc we ran into each other outside or at a store as a person likely not checking all of that bc I'm not as busy n don't have kids I'm not in the least offended when someone does. We did not after all set up a coffee or lunch date. It would make me notice n polite I might say "I'll let you go" they will either agree n wish me a nice greeting goodbye or say oh "no it's fine it's just so n so " n enthusiastically reengage in the conversation. If course if it happens again I would politely say the same thing but this time expressing that I need to get going also. If it's a friend or family member I don't often see that's a different matter but I would also take my cues based on how busy they are and how the rest of the conversation is going n the quality of our relationship to begin with. If I'm comfortable and we've been friends a long time and you're a good friend on many other ways I'm likely to not really mind some of these faux pas especially if it's not all the time. If it is something chronic like accidentally n enthusiastically cutting me off I would just eventually point it out in a nice way. Trying to one up me would be a severe character flaw n huge insecurity on that person's part that would prevent me from being friends with them in the first place. If it's a neighbor or coworker I would just be polite n cordial moving forward. If it's a family member your sort of forced to see sometimes like an in-law you have to try to come up with a way to extricate yourself from the conversation or be funny about it " like oh my gosh I thought my trip, job, new car etc was great until you told me about yours im sure that was your intent but since seem eager to tell me go ahead. Then I would listen offer a small ," oh that's nice" n again come up with an excuse to extricate myself. One of the biggest things that I sometimes do especially lately is monopolize more than I should n sometimes talk over. I know the reason for it is limited time with people who I have a lot to share with n also they do as well. I know for sure if I saw them more it wouldn't be an issue. I think this may be true for others especially the elderly or those more isolated or without family nearby.
This is partly why I hardly engage in conversations with a lot of people anymore. I'm soft-spoken and it takes me a tad longer to get my point across because of a disability so people constantly cut me off which is incredibly annoying and irritating.
I share the same situ. A Speech therapy kid seems to awkwardly stick with you at times, especially, with the impatient. Add severe trauma and it only compounds the problem.
I dont have a disability but this still happens to me just because of being soft spoken. I stopped talking because i dont like wasting my breath on rude people who arent listening.
When trying to have a conversation with a narcissistic person they are not listening to me anyway so I just stay mute, nod, and get away as quickly as possible.
Being someone that is neurodivergent, I do struggle with a few of these like unintentionally interrupting people or finishing people’s sentences. Being excited about a topic can sometimes blind me from being aware of these social rules, but I’m working on reducing and eventually eliminating these behaviors. This video was so insightful🙌!
I am a guy who is learning English, I think that your teaching is so well that I like how you teach them, it is something that helps me a lot. When I needed how to use the correct way to say something eloquently, and use a good pronunciation, I was thinking of you about it, even how to move, how to stand, how to express with my best manners and gestures.
When i was a volunteer counselor, I had to take an active listening course and it helped me to be a much better listener. Learning active listening really improves conversations.
Thank you for these tips. Just a note: be aware of cultural context. For example, in some parts of the world, eye contact is considered rude and confrontational, especially from a younger person to their elder. This is important to remember when you travel around the world.
@ann.obrien5139 the commentor is not referring to a stranger. She's talking about the difference in having conversations with people of a certain age or status in other cultures. Which may be different then what the video advised.
OMG(OSH) ... I was listening to this by myself and LMAO!!! Great points and great delivery. I am in a TBI group and the facilitator for most of our classes is one of the best conversationalist I've ever known. I have learned so much from her. Sorry to say, I have too many of the bad habits you mentioned. These are some of the things I've learned recently by watching and listening to other people. 1. If you're going to say something "sarcastic", always make it about yourself. NEVER about anyone else. 2. Giving advice without being asked is like telling the other person that they don't know what to do. 3. When someone says something, always have a question or a comment that encourages them to say a little bit more about what they were talking about. The facilitator of my class, Katie, NEVER interrupts, she NEVER makes the conversation about herself, and she ALWAYS asks a follow up question. I have never seen anyone do this as well as she does, or maybe I never noticed it before. I could say, "The weather was absolutely perfect today!" and she will come back with a comment like, "That must have been a nice change, were you able to go outside?" With a lot of people (and I'm guilty of this myself), we tend to change the subject or say something back like, "It was raining where I am today." Everyone in my class has a TBI and so we all have things we struggle with, and she has been such a great role model in how to get back into the social part of life. I really enjoyed your video and it looks like you have some more good ones, I can't wait to hear them! Thank you!
One of conversational habits hate the most is being around people in a social gathering who are stuck on their phones 80% of the time. Of course also being interrupted.
Thank you for this excellent advice! So many individuals have completely forgotten about good manners during a conversation... not even mentioning being classy! You are beautiful🌹🕯
The interesting thing about people who like to give unsolicited advice is that they are usually the ones who have the least expertise in the particular area.
Exactly I have been facing these in my everyday life especially at workplace. But people do not have at least care and they don’t bother about their disgusting attitude. They don’t even know that how much unprofessional and unethical these behavior! Thanks for addressing.
You are so correct on this Vivian 😊 I’ve always tried to teach this to my kiddos as well. It’s so odd to see a group hanging out together and they’re all on their phones, that’s the worst and not looking people in the eyes when talking to them. I notice younger people do this so I made sure my kids knew better.😉
The key idea of the video is to avoid rude conversation habits and instead practice active listening, empathy, and respect in order to be a better communicator. 00:00 🚫 Avoid rude conversation habits like being on your phone and not paying attention, as it can be disrespectful and disregarding to others. Also, avoid cutting people off and completing their sentences, as it hinders effective communication. 02:41 🚫 Interrupting someone in a conversation is rude and hinders effective communication, while using your phone shows disrespect unless necessary and permission is given. 05:44 🚫 Interrupting and finishing others' sentences can be rude and frustrating, hindering effective communication. 08:35 👀 Maintaining good eye contact, avoiding restlessness, and not claiming to know everything are important habits to avoid in order to be a better communicator. 11:45 🚫 Avoid giving unsolicited advice and instead offer empathy and emotional support, and don't monopolize the conversation. 13:40 🚫 Don't dominate the conversation, be empathetic, and choose your words carefully to avoid hurting someone unintentionally; instead, listen, be discerning, and show interest in the other person by asking them questions and allowing them to share their experiences. 17:27 🚫 Avoid one-upping others in conversations by refraining from constantly trying to top their stories or experiences, as it comes across as self-centered and often involves exaggeration or lies to impress, and also avoid dismissing or diminishing the contributions of others in a conversation, instead find a respectful way to express disagreement or bring the conversation back on track. 19:38 🚫 Avoid asking personal questions and dominating the conversation, show engagement through body language, and remove earphones to convey interest and respect in conversations.
Thank you for this wonderful video, I feel like this video was meant for me, because out of the 15 habits almost all them are things I do when I am having a conversation 😭 I am going to work on them from now .
Re point 7 - about unsolicited advice. I can understand that but I find that some people just want to rant. I don't like being ranted at. I am not a sounding board for every interaction and I find that expectation as irritating and rude (if not moreso) than someone providing unsolicited advice. If you're taking up hours and hours whingeing away at someone I think that gives them the right to occasionally offer suggestions to you to get yourself out of the situation about which you are complaining. Psychologists are paid hundreds of dollars and hour for listening to all that and there's a reason for that. :D
I think it depends on your relationship with the person n how much you value it n them. If it's a close family or friend I would politely ask to speak with them when they are not so wound up n after having listened in the past without judgement or comment. Express that you wish to help them n find it difficult to remain silent when listening to the same or similar problems but you also don't wish to give unsolicited advice or feel your judging them. Then ask what do they suggest n what would best help them n see what they say. You may be surprised by what they tell you. After they tell you, you are still free to say what works for you, how often n why. Then collaborate. All relationship require healthy, honest yet considerate communication.
Able to maintain a good conversation is very important I’ve learned and I enjoyed the video ,and also I’ve stolen a new word added to my vocabulary 😂 Thank you so much Vivian ❤
Thank you, your points are good, well taken, well spoken, applicable to me. I have often been thoughtless, but I have also been the object of thoughtlessness, in conversations. Mostly with family. Listening to you, I can truly identify my faults in conversations.. Yes, I do this, and no I don't do this or that. But, I am am keenly aware of using words to make the heart glad. Apologies also add to meaningful conversations.
This was so valuable and insightful!. All of us recognize the errors you’ve listed to be obviously rude but your video is a great reminder in polishing up our communication skills. Your list is perfect for serving as a checklist and bringing in an opportunity for some self- assessment and self-awareness on any bad communication habits we may be indulging in while dismissing them as harmless and innocent. Thank you! 😊 PS, subscribed!
Thank you, Vivienne. Excellent and valuable advice!!!! I will keep all points in mind. One additional DON'T popped into my mind: correcting the speaker when they make a mistake (such as a grammatical or pronunciation mistake, or the incorrect use of a word, etc.). The speaker could view your action as condescending or insulting.
Thank you Vivian! I realize that we live in a different world today, and while some changes have been good, some have been terrible. The phone, internet, and artificial intelligence will be our undoing. Admittedly, I grew up before the days of cell phones, but we were not allowed to even wear a hat at the dinner table. My parents understood that it was important for all of us to engage in conversation, during one of the only times we gathered as a family. All the best to you! Mark
A very enjoyavle video! The point about having emotional intelligence enough to gage wether someone wants advice or more of a shoulder to cry on was so salient and it really takes time and a true love for your fellow individual so thats appreciated.
Speaking of introverts, of which I am one . . . I've recently realized that when I'm with another one (sharing a ride in a car, for example), it's not necessary to maintain a steady stream of back-and-forth conversation. What may at first seem like an awkward silence may in fact be a very welcome break. Of course, if there's a topic of interest, especially to the other person, let the dialog flow freely.
Thank you Vivian for the amazing video. Please consider making a video of elegant hairstyles for black women,i believe hairstyles play a huge role on elegance
@ Vivienne thanks for bringing this sad behaviors that is a plague especially in these era. Keep doing the great job. I hope people yield to this wise counsel.
I noticed quite a lot of fair-weathered friends do not speak with empathy. What do you think is a good way to let them know gently? I find it difficult as they do not accept, except that they are self-righteous.
Why do you need to let them know? If they're fair-weather friends, why are you sharing things with them that need empathy in response? Use discernment when choosing whom to share what with. Not everyone deserves access to your personal world. Make sense?
@@LoralLee I was thinking that SAME thing. Why expect these "some-timers" to do right by you in ANY capacity? Just know who you're dealing with and keep it sparse.
I am so glad you posted this Vivian. I have been guilty on points and will rehearse, yes rehearse so I am not the one who is doing these things and to promote healthy conversation. I saw earlier about nose-rings. Like tattoos, you must focus on the person and what their saying. Oops,😮 Unsolicited advise. Give me time, we got this!
It that when I first clicked on this video. I didn't think I was going to learn anything. But as the video continued. I learned a lot about myself. Admittedly I do a number of these conversational faux pastherefore. Since watching this video, I am now more cognizant of my interactions with others. Thank you so much for the information provided.
Hi, lady, I am happy that someone actually spoke up about the mobile scrolling habit, sadly though it has become so much part of people's habits or checking incoming messages even if not scrolling, that it is quite impossible it seems to break it. All your points are valid, and sadly lost in this time and age for most people.
Indeed useful! If you are comfortable , then please it is a request to make a video on how to avoid a situation which is making you really angry like in a conversation of someone doing an act etc. ❤
Yes! I'd also love that sort of video. How to be even keel and extract oneself from professional situations where others aren't being/discussing professional things- long-winded title but I feel like I'd watch it weekly until it's second nature; I'd definitely take notes too.
Hello there! Thank you for sharing these tips. Could you share a video on how to start conversations or lead engaging conversations depending on the social environment.
I'm not a you tube content creator but I will offer a suggestion or two but if course not unsolicited advice. Lol. Much easier to make conversation based around something you n the other person are both doing or obviously have in common. If you're at the dog park start with a question about the other person's dog breed or age. Go from there. If they don't know enough or care enough to ask about yours quickly mention your dogs age n maybe something about him and or the dog park itself. Perhaps another one in the area or why you like this one. If you're at work it's not likely you'll mention your dog but rather something about the company, office, weekend coming up etc. Most people aren't very good at striking up random conversations with people they know nothing about in a place not worth mentioning like at a bus stop so don't feel you need to. Master the other ones n take 1 step at a time to you become more comfortable. Not everyone excels in this n that's ok. I think the point is to improve n get more comfortable if that's what you want. And of course try to avoid doing any of the things she mentioned but don't get stressed out over it. Many people do this to an extent or in occasion and they also still have friends. Worst come to worst you can always after the fact. Like " Hey I'm glad I ran into you, I wanted to apologize as I thought perhaps I interrupted you yesterday in my excitement about xyz or I'm sorry I got carried away yesterday telling you about my new job, I forgot to ask how your mother's funeral went. " lol but you get the idea.
This is great information! If someone is struggling with these issues, what are some recommendations ? I struggle with giving unsolicited advice and interrupting, what could I do to improve?
Some people find it helps if they get a trusted friend to help them. For instance, the friend can use a code word, etc, when the person wanting to change starts in mindlessly on their bad habit, causing an interruption in the neuro processes so they can rewire in a new, better habit in its place. Others find it helps to "punish" themselves for the unwanted behavior by donating to a cause they loathe. Hypnosis can be helpful. You can also learn to be more mindful so that you get better and better at noticing when you're doing it, and then when you're on the verge of doing it--and stopping immediately, apologizing, and shutting up. Your mental focus and attitude should be one of "I'm so interested in you and what you have to share" rather than "I'm so eager to share myself with you." And "I know you're as intelligent as I am and every bit as capable of solving your own problems as I am, so I'm going to offer you my respect instead of disrespecting and dishonoring your intelligence by giving you my unsolicited advice." Finally, if you have a hard time determining whether someone is venting or is asking for help, you can make a habit of asking, "Are you wanting advice or just needing someone to vent to?" Make sense?
And the other, you have to discipline yourself when having a discussion, be intentional of how many words you want say a day. And ask God for the spirit to listen and stop you when you over talk. These are how I overcame these things too.
How's it going with NOT giving unsolicited advice? I have the same problem. I'm in classes with other TBI survivors and so the opportunity comes up all the time. I have decided that I am only going to give advice if someone asks me specifically. It was really hard the first week and then I realized how much I must do that. I mean, I was biting my tongue! This week was easier. I took it day by day and our classes are for an hour. Maybe you can try it for an hour at a time. Best wishes to you and thanks for sharing your struggle, I thought I was the only one.
It's hard but the need to give unsoliticited advice comes from ego. Take a look at your ego and need to dominate or stay on top. You may not even realize this about yourself, and yes it stings, but none of us are perfect.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
I wasn’t aware that I have some bad habits. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
1. Cutting people off during a conversation.
2. Scrolling through your phone.
3. Chuckling
4. Frequently completing sentences for the other speaker.
5. Looking elsewhere when someone is talking to you.
6. Moving your body restlessly.
7. Claiming you know it all.
8. Giving unsolicited advice.
9. Monopolising the conversation.
10. Being insensitive to the other person's feelings.
11. Going on and on about yourself.
12. Trying to out do the other speaker.
13. Dismissing the other speaker's submission as irrelevant.
14. Asking private questions.
15. Keeping mute and allowing the discussion to be One-sided.
16. Having earphones in, during conversation.
Thanks for this summary
Thank you
Thank you for the future reference.
Thank u!!!
Thank you for the list summary of these convo disruptors.
Today I learn of my bad habit . Giving unsolicited advice on everything. I always have advice on everything but from today ,I learn to keep it to myself unless am asked to do so ❤thanks Vivienne
I am middle aged, healthy caucasian man. I am grumpy and unpolite as hell. I found your video inspiring and useful. In fact I listen to it every 1-2 months just to get my head straight. This had postive effect on my life. Everybody noticed I am nicer. So I figured time to show a little respect by payimg :-)
Thank you very much!
Another thing that I find very disturbing is when people look on their smart watch during a conversation. Looking at your clock during a conversation used to be a signal that you are bored and want to get out of the situation. Even if someone is just checking who texted, it still comes across rude, I find.
I don't own a smart watch, maybe I'm a little out dated 🙂 but I do have a regular watch.
And this was a great point to add.
As checking the time, is a definite way of signalling you are bored or ready to go!
Loved this! Thanks for sharing. ❤️
I think some of these things depend on the people and the situation mainly when it comes to frequently checking phone or smart watch. If it's a person I barely know or a neighbor n we're just making spontaneous small talk bc we ran into each other outside or at a store as a person likely not checking all of that bc I'm not as busy n don't have kids I'm not in the least offended when someone does. We did not after all set up a coffee or lunch date. It would make me notice n polite I might say "I'll let you go" they will either agree n wish me a nice greeting goodbye or say oh "no it's fine it's just so n so " n enthusiastically reengage in the conversation. If course if it happens again I would politely say the same thing but this time expressing that I need to get going also. If it's a friend or family member I don't often see that's a different matter but I would also take my cues based on how busy they are and how the rest of the conversation is going n the quality of our relationship to begin with. If I'm comfortable and we've been friends a long time and you're a good friend on many other ways I'm likely to not really mind some of these faux pas especially if it's not all the time. If it is something chronic like accidentally n enthusiastically cutting me off I would just eventually point it out in a nice way. Trying to one up me would be a severe character flaw n huge insecurity on that person's part that would prevent me from being friends with them in the first place. If it's a neighbor or coworker I would just be polite n cordial moving forward. If it's a family member your sort of forced to see sometimes like an in-law you have to try to come up with a way to extricate yourself from the conversation or be funny about it " like oh my gosh I thought my trip, job, new car etc was great until you told me about yours im sure that was your intent but since seem eager to tell me go ahead. Then I would listen offer a small ," oh that's nice" n again come up with an excuse to extricate myself. One of the biggest things that I sometimes do especially lately is monopolize more than I should n sometimes talk over. I know the reason for it is limited time with people who I have a lot to share with n also they do as well. I know for sure if I saw them more it wouldn't be an issue. I think this may be true for others especially the elderly or those more isolated or without family nearby.
This is partly why I hardly engage in conversations with a lot of people anymore. I'm soft-spoken and it takes me a tad longer to get my point across because of a disability so people constantly cut me off which is incredibly annoying and irritating.
I have this issue too but notice certain groups assume I’m stuck up when in actuality they are just rude and poor conversationalist 😔
I share the same situ. A Speech therapy kid seems to awkwardly stick with you at times, especially, with the impatient.
Add severe trauma and it only compounds the problem.
I dont have a disability but this still happens to me just because of being soft spoken. I stopped talking because i dont like wasting my breath on rude people who arent listening.
“If you want to make it all about you, then write a biography.” 😸🎯 Fabulously said, Vivienne.
I just see you elsewhere somewhere 👋Kev
When trying to have a conversation with a narcissistic person they are not listening to me anyway so I just stay mute, nod, and get away as quickly as possible.
LMAO!!! 🤣😂😅🤣😅😂
In my own Culture, depends on who is talking to you. No. 4. You dear not look into your Parents or elders, that is Rude .
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good for edification, that it may minister grace unto the hearers...
Being someone that is neurodivergent, I do struggle with a few of these like unintentionally interrupting people or finishing people’s sentences. Being excited about a topic can sometimes blind me from being aware of these social rules, but I’m working on reducing and eventually eliminating these behaviors. This video was so insightful🙌!
Introverts are free from most of these issues..Hallelujah!
This is the video right here. Wholesome conversations are so important. You don't leave feeling an energy drain.
I am a guy who is learning English, I think that your teaching is so well that I like how you teach them, it is something that helps me a lot. When I needed how to use the correct way to say something eloquently, and use a good pronunciation, I was thinking of you about it, even how to move, how to stand, how to express with my best manners and gestures.
I have enjoyed this. I am a guilty of several of the issues raised. Am happy i have learnt and will try very hard to improve. Once again Thank you
When i was a volunteer counselor, I had to take an active listening course and it helped me to be a much better listener. Learning active listening really improves conversations.
If you want the conversation to be about you then write a biography😂.
Well done Sis..I love your videos
😂😂😂
Thank you for these tips.
Just a note: be aware of cultural context. For example, in some parts of the world, eye contact is considered rude and confrontational, especially from a younger person to their elder. This is important to remember when you travel around the world.
❤❤❤
She is discussing during a conversation with someone, completely different context to eyeballing a stranger .
@ann.obrien5139 the commentor is not referring to a stranger. She's talking about the difference in having conversations with people of a certain age or status in other cultures. Which may be different then what the video advised.
Social etiquette is a lost art. Ty for this❤️
Yikes! I have to admit, I'm guilty of far too many of these. Thank you.
OMG(OSH) ... I was listening to this by myself and LMAO!!! Great points and great delivery.
I am in a TBI group and the facilitator for most of our classes is one of the best conversationalist I've ever known. I have learned so much from her. Sorry to say, I have too many of the bad habits you mentioned. These are some of the things I've learned recently by watching and listening to other people.
1. If you're going to say something "sarcastic", always make it about yourself. NEVER about anyone else.
2. Giving advice without being asked is like telling the other person that they don't know what to do.
3. When someone says something, always have a question or a comment that encourages them to say a little bit more about what they were talking about.
The facilitator of my class, Katie, NEVER interrupts, she NEVER makes the conversation about herself, and she ALWAYS asks a follow up question.
I have never seen anyone do this as well as she does, or maybe I never noticed it before. I could say, "The weather was absolutely perfect today!" and she will come back with a comment like, "That must have been a nice change, were you able to go outside?" With a lot of people (and I'm guilty of this myself), we tend to change the subject or say something back like, "It was raining where I am today."
Everyone in my class has a TBI and so we all have things we struggle with, and she has been such a great role model in how to get back into the social part of life.
I really enjoyed your video and it looks like you have some more good ones, I can't wait to hear them! Thank you!
One of conversational habits hate the most is being around people in a social gathering who are stuck on their phones 80% of the time. Of course also being interrupted.
Nothing classy than a woman with eloquent expression, elegant appearance,tattoosless and no piercings! Girl you are 👍
I sense some prejudice against people with a more alt style
@@camellia8625 😂😂😂
I agree, tattoos are distracting for me.
@@GsG_Space You are my idol
She has her ears pierced
Thank you for this excellent advice! So many individuals have completely forgotten about good manners during a conversation... not even mentioning being classy!
You are beautiful🌹🕯
I have been interrupting slightly for the other person to know that I'm with them, thank you so much for this advice.
This is a great reminder. I will do better with my relationships. They are gifts.
Miss Vivian I am 15 years old and your videos always help me with my teenage life in an easy,elegant way,thank you so much❤
The interesting thing about people who like to give unsolicited advice is that they are usually the ones who have the least expertise in the particular area.
Oh so true. They read the title and think they wrote the book.
Exactly I have been facing these in my everyday life especially at workplace. But people do not have at least care and they don’t bother about their disgusting attitude. They don’t even know that how much unprofessional and unethical these behavior!
Thanks for addressing.
You are so correct on this Vivian 😊 I’ve always tried to teach this to my kiddos as well. It’s so odd to see a group hanging out together and they’re all on their phones, that’s the worst and not looking people in the eyes when talking to them. I notice younger people do this so I made sure my kids knew better.😉
The key idea of the video is to avoid rude conversation habits and instead practice active listening, empathy, and respect in order to be a better communicator.
00:00 🚫 Avoid rude conversation habits like being on your phone and not paying attention, as it can be disrespectful and disregarding to others. Also, avoid cutting people off and completing their sentences, as it hinders effective communication.
02:41 🚫 Interrupting someone in a conversation is rude and hinders effective communication, while using your phone shows disrespect unless necessary and permission is given.
05:44 🚫 Interrupting and finishing others' sentences can be rude and frustrating, hindering effective communication.
08:35 👀 Maintaining good eye contact, avoiding restlessness, and not claiming to know everything are important habits to avoid in order to be a better communicator.
11:45 🚫 Avoid giving unsolicited advice and instead offer empathy and emotional support, and don't monopolize the conversation.
13:40 🚫 Don't dominate the conversation, be empathetic, and choose your words carefully to avoid hurting someone unintentionally; instead, listen, be discerning, and show interest in the other person by asking them questions and allowing them to share their experiences.
17:27 🚫 Avoid one-upping others in conversations by refraining from constantly trying to top their stories or experiences, as it comes across as self-centered and often involves exaggeration or lies to impress, and also avoid dismissing or diminishing the contributions of others in a conversation, instead find a respectful way to express disagreement or bring the conversation back on track.
19:38 🚫 Avoid asking personal questions and dominating the conversation, show engagement through body language, and remove earphones to convey interest and respect in conversations.
👌👌😍
Some people can drag a conversation, instead of getting to the point! They are not the only persons that wants your attention
Thank you for this wonderful video, I feel like this video was meant for me, because out of the 15 habits almost all them are things I do when I am having a conversation 😭 I am going to work on them from now .
That's how I felt! You're not alone ....
Thankyou!
Yes , a good reminder!
I am 60 and find that most people don't focus and really listen anymore!
Love from South Africa ❤
I love the forthright way in which suggestions are expressed. Thank you.
I don't want to stop listening to you dear, thanks so much,
This info and tip video needs to be shared and absorbed by most everyone!
Re point 7 - about unsolicited advice. I can understand that but I find that some people just want to rant. I don't like being ranted at. I am not a sounding board for every interaction and I find that expectation as irritating and rude (if not moreso) than someone providing unsolicited advice. If you're taking up hours and hours whingeing away at someone I think that gives them the right to occasionally offer suggestions to you to get yourself out of the situation about which you are complaining.
Psychologists are paid hundreds of dollars and hour for listening to all that and there's a reason for that. :D
We aren't doormats and don't deserve to be treated that way.
I think it depends on your relationship with the person n how much you value it n them. If it's a close family or friend I would politely ask to speak with them when they are not so wound up n after having listened in the past without judgement or comment. Express that you wish to help them n find it difficult to remain silent when listening to the same or similar problems but you also don't wish to give unsolicited advice or feel your judging them. Then ask what do they suggest n what would best help them n see what they say. You may be surprised by what they tell you. After they tell you, you are still free to say what works for you, how often n why. Then collaborate. All relationship require healthy, honest yet considerate communication.
Oh God! Listening to this has given an insight into being more cautious in my communication skills, I had most of these issues. Thank you my dear.
I love your choice of wording ❤ thanks for this reminder in communication etiquettes!!
lol, I'm learning I have some bad conversation habits 😅. Thanks for sharing these, it applies to men as well.
Able to maintain a good conversation is very important
I’ve learned and I enjoyed the video ,and also I’ve stolen a new word added to my vocabulary 😂
Thank you so much Vivian ❤
Out of curiosity, what word is that?😂 Genuine question
Yes I am curious too. Could you please share the word.
What word did you add to your vocabulary? Thank you for your time!
Thank you, your points are good, well taken, well spoken, applicable to me. I have often been thoughtless, but I have also been the object of thoughtlessness, in conversations. Mostly with family. Listening to you, I can truly identify my faults in conversations.. Yes, I do this, and no I don't do this or that. But, I am am keenly aware of using words to make the heart glad. Apologies also add to meaningful conversations.
You are really bringing lights in dark areas of our lives
This was so valuable and insightful!. All of us recognize the errors you’ve listed to be obviously rude but your video is a great reminder in polishing up our communication skills. Your list is perfect for serving as a checklist and bringing in an opportunity for some self- assessment and self-awareness on any bad communication habits we may be indulging in while dismissing them as harmless and innocent. Thank you! 😊
PS, subscribed!
Thank you, Vivienne. Excellent and valuable advice!!!! I will keep all points in mind. One additional DON'T popped into my mind: correcting the speaker when they make a mistake (such as a grammatical or pronunciation mistake, or the incorrect use of a word, etc.). The speaker could view your action as condescending or insulting.
Thank you Vivian! I realize that we live in a different world today, and while some changes have been good, some have been terrible. The phone, internet, and artificial intelligence will be our undoing. Admittedly, I grew up before the days of cell phones, but we were not allowed to even wear a hat at the dinner table. My parents understood that it was important for all of us to engage in conversation, during one of the only times we gathered as a family. All the best to you! Mark
A very enjoyavle video! The point about having emotional intelligence enough to gage wether someone wants advice or more of a shoulder to cry on was so salient and it really takes time and a true love for your fellow individual so thats appreciated.
This was so good and informative!!! Thank you for sharing ❤
All of these are so true. Personally I'm very introverted, but I'm working on it.
Speaking of introverts, of which I am one . . . I've recently realized that when I'm with another one (sharing a ride in a car, for example), it's not necessary to maintain a steady stream of back-and-forth conversation. What may at first seem like an awkward silence may in fact be a very welcome break. Of course, if there's a topic of interest, especially to the other person, let the dialog flow freely.
Well said...this is very educational. Thanks Vivienne
Thank you for creating this video!
I just love your videos! Thank you for your teaching video! Much appreciated.
Thank you Vivian for the amazing video. Please consider making a video of elegant hairstyles for black women,i believe hairstyles play a huge role on elegance
Absolutely let’s “flash out those habits” ❤❤
Thank you so much for the wonderful topic vivian. keep up the good work!
Thank you for this insightful piece. I'm sharing this because many adults i have met don't know how to communicate effectively with others.
You always provide us with outstanding content. Many thanks.
Thank you...this message is opening my eyes....be blessed...Botswana Africa
@ Vivienne thanks for bringing this sad behaviors that is a plague especially in these era. Keep doing the great job. I hope people yield to this wise counsel.
Always allow other to finish before contributing ❤❤
Thank you I really need this advice👍🏾 Great video sis
Such great knowledge! You Are so inspiring! Thank you for such being so concise and truthful. ❤ many people will be empowered by your good words.
I noticed quite a lot of fair-weathered friends do not speak with empathy. What do you think is a good way to let them know gently? I find it difficult as they do not accept, except that they are self-righteous.
Why do you need to let them know? If they're fair-weather friends, why are you sharing things with them that need empathy in response? Use discernment when choosing whom to share what with. Not everyone deserves access to your personal world. Make sense?
@SacredDreamsCoaching this is such a good advice. 👍
@@LoralLee I was thinking that SAME thing.
Why expect these "some-timers" to do right by you in ANY capacity?
Just know who you're dealing with and keep it sparse.
I am so glad you posted this Vivian. I have been guilty on points and will rehearse, yes rehearse so I am not the one who is doing these things and to promote healthy conversation. I saw earlier about nose-rings. Like tattoos, you must focus on the person and what their saying. Oops,😮 Unsolicited advise. Give me time, we got this!
What are fair weathered friends? Are they friends that are only around when your life is going well? I have never heard this expression.
Thank you also and thanks for sharing ❤
Loved this a lot. THANK YOU VIVIENNE 💚
Thanks so much ma, it's so informative 🥰
I have some of the mentioned weaknesses but I'm working on them.
Vivienne, I find it classy that you don’t ask us to subscribe or like your videos. And look at the following you have amassed!
Good presentation, and well done, Vivian ❤
Thank you ma'am you are inspiration for young girls like me ❤😊!
Thank you showing how to be courteous and respectful in conversation. Your 15 points are a good "refresher course" !
I have learned so much here.Thank you.
Dear Viviane! I love your videos are so helpful for who are interested in being classy
You are a woman of the clouds. Keep it up. Your a great asset to our world of elegance.
Thank U.of sharing this wonderful info about conversstion...❤
Such valuable wisdom 🙏🏼
Listening is valuable in having healthy relationships. Thank you V for these 15 tips.
Great advice Vivian. Loved the video
Thank you for sharing these invaluable tips. I am guilty of a couple of these errors in etiquette.
The BEST EXPLANATION EVER!!!! thank you!!!! Fantastic!!!!!
After listening to this i realize i have alot to work on ..Thank you
It that when I first clicked on this video. I didn't think I was going to learn anything. But as the video continued. I learned a lot about myself. Admittedly I do a number of these conversational faux pastherefore. Since watching this video, I am now more cognizant of my interactions with others. Thank you so much for the information provided.
Hi, lady, I am happy that someone actually spoke up about the mobile scrolling habit, sadly though it has become so much part of people's habits or checking incoming messages even if not scrolling, that it is quite impossible it seems to break it. All your points are valid, and sadly lost in this time and age for most people.
Thank you for these elegant videos. ❤
Great tips, thanks for sharing!
WOW! Spot on with all 15 points.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you for these reminders. Edifying.
Wonderful advice. Thank you.
Indeed useful!
If you are comfortable , then please it is a request to make a video on how to avoid a situation which is making you really angry like in a conversation of someone doing an act etc. ❤
Yes! I'd also love that sort of video.
How to be even keel and extract oneself from professional situations where others aren't being/discussing professional things- long-winded title but I feel like I'd watch it weekly until it's second nature; I'd definitely take notes too.
I Love your introduction of these destructive times we live in around the phones. Very good
Hello there! Thank you for sharing these tips. Could you share a video on how to start conversations or lead engaging conversations depending on the social environment.
I'm not a you tube content creator but I will offer a suggestion or two but if course not unsolicited advice. Lol. Much easier to make conversation based around something you n the other person are both doing or obviously have in common. If you're at the dog park start with a question about the other person's dog breed or age. Go from there. If they don't know enough or care enough to ask about yours quickly mention your dogs age n maybe something about him and or the dog park itself. Perhaps another one in the area or why you like this one. If you're at work it's not likely you'll mention your dog but rather something about the company, office, weekend coming up etc. Most people aren't very good at striking up random conversations with people they know nothing about in a place not worth mentioning like at a bus stop so don't feel you need to. Master the other ones n take 1 step at a time to you become more comfortable. Not everyone excels in this n that's ok. I think the point is to improve n get more comfortable if that's what you want. And of course try to avoid doing any of the things she mentioned but don't get stressed out over it. Many people do this to an extent or in occasion and they also still have friends. Worst come to worst you can always after the fact. Like " Hey I'm glad I ran into you, I wanted to apologize as I thought perhaps I interrupted you yesterday in my excitement about xyz or I'm sorry I got carried away yesterday telling you about my new job, I forgot to ask how your mother's funeral went. " lol but you get the idea.
Your videos are filled with excellent information. Thank you
Thank you for these reminders ❤❤❤❤
Thank you Good advice
This is great information! If someone is struggling with these issues, what are some recommendations ? I struggle with giving unsolicited advice and interrupting, what could I do to improve?
Some people find it helps if they get a trusted friend to help them. For instance, the friend can use a code word, etc, when the person wanting to change starts in mindlessly on their bad habit, causing an interruption in the neuro processes so they can rewire in a new, better habit in its place. Others find it helps to "punish" themselves for the unwanted behavior by donating to a cause they loathe. Hypnosis can be helpful. You can also learn to be more mindful so that you get better and better at noticing when you're doing it, and then when you're on the verge of doing it--and stopping immediately, apologizing, and shutting up. Your mental focus and attitude should be one of "I'm so interested in you and what you have to share" rather than "I'm so eager to share myself with you." And "I know you're as intelligent as I am and every bit as capable of solving your own problems as I am, so I'm going to offer you my respect instead of disrespecting and dishonoring your intelligence by giving you my unsolicited advice." Finally, if you have a hard time determining whether someone is venting or is asking for help, you can make a habit of asking, "Are you wanting advice or just needing someone to vent to?" Make sense?
For unsolicited advice, you can ask the person, if they want your advice or want you to listen. With few practice you'll be better.
And the other, you have to discipline yourself when having a discussion, be intentional of how many words you want say a day. And ask God for the spirit to listen and stop you when you over talk. These are how I overcame these things too.
How's it going with NOT giving unsolicited advice? I have the same problem. I'm in classes with other TBI survivors and so the opportunity comes up all the time.
I have decided that I am only going to give advice if someone asks me specifically. It was really hard the first week and then I realized how much I must do that. I mean, I was biting my tongue! This week was easier. I took it day by day and our classes are for an hour. Maybe you can try it for an hour at a time. Best wishes to you and thanks for sharing your struggle, I thought I was the only one.
It's hard but the need to give unsoliticited advice comes from ego. Take a look at your ego and need to dominate or stay on top. You may not even realize this about yourself, and yes it stings, but none of us are perfect.
Outstanding content!!
You have such awesome accent! When you say NOBODY love it not nobady!
Thank you for this....I am guilty of several of these. I am going to make an effort to be better. I appreciate you.
Thank you! Very interesting and informative!
Oh, I saw myself in some of these behaviors! I’m going to try & break these habits!😮
Great information!! Thank you.
So much valuable information. I've got work to do for sure!
Excellent work! Ever think of virtual seminars on a compilation of several topics?