Yes, this is spot on. My first kickboxing fight I totally froze up when my opponent came at me with a level of aggression that I had never experienced before. I got TKOed in the first round! I lost my next 2 fights after that against opponents that I should have beaten, and nearly gave up. I thought that I just wasn't cut out for combat sports. But I just couldn't live without martial arts in my life. So I gave it another shot. Then my next fight I won by KO and things started to turn around. I went on to compete for 16 years and did pretty well. But the mental game was always one of my weaker areas. Like you said, it’s not always the most technically sound person who rises to the top. It’s a combination of many elements tying together to make a complete fighter. Some people have those natural attributes that make them more suited to combat. But most of us have to work very hard at it and go through a lot of extremely tough experiences to develop the kind of mental strength it takes to become an accomplished fighter.
Getting into martial arts after being bullied... Getting beaten up in training, trying to learn how to defend yourself... Getting frozen in the middle of the ring, receiving heavy blows to the head... Dealing with that while dealing with depression... I know how it feels, it's still tough to this day, many years after it started...
I dont fight, and Iv never trained any combat discipline in my life, yet I watch your channel for 3-4 years just for the bants. You blow my mind, god bless you
The scariest part of a fight (for me) was when a guy just got up from the ground, his face all bloodied after I punched him and he still wanted to continue. That was the most shocking thing I had ever experienced. Psychologically it was disturbing, because he should have quit. My nerves only calmed after I let my guard down and allowed him hit me back. It didn't hurt, so I decided to just go on the defensive after that and let him gas out. I didn't want to hurt the guy any more than I did. If I caused him any more damage, I could have gotten an assault charge and you don't want that to happen because some crackhead didn't want to give up.
@@xcept7355 Not expecting anything. MY point was the fact that getting an assault or manslaughter charge for beating someone to death is A LOT scarier than getting beat up. The fact that he chose not to quit was scary because I could have easily killed him if I wasn't careful. I don't know about you, but even if I can avoid prison, I don't want to have a felony on my record, because you won't be able to find a job. America has some messed up laws and there is a lot of gray area. You can always claim self defense, but you may not always get away with it. It all depends on how good your attorney is vs the prosecutor.
Two times I remember being shocked, the first time me and a friend boxed each other. He boxed before and I didn’t. It was definitely a shock, he blitzed me and started throwing punches and I didn’t know how to handle it. The second time was my first real street fight, I saw friends who I thought were tough freeze but I stood my ground. Its always a shock the first time seeing how yourself and others react to a situation
Lots of bully stories. Got bullied and beat up in school prettig bad (once hospitalized). At 15 or 16, can't remember how many times being beat, went berserk and head butted the first guy in front of me. At that time the other 4 went wow. It saved me from the beatings, nevertheless the psychological bullying continued untill swapped schools because the school was blaming me, that very year I retaliated. First week in new school, first attempt to bully, sent message not to mess with me. Just the mindset of not caring to win or lose, just wanting to hurt the opponent reflected in my eyes probably, was left alone for the rest of my school carreer. 😁 At 18 started kickboxing, which helped me to keep my composure and helped me dealing with the depression and ptsd of years of bullying en being beat. I'm 40 know and even bigger guys fear me to spar with because I get this crazy look in of eyes. I'm only 5ft 7" mind you and out boxing coach likes to challange you if you're up for it so I mostly spar against the heavy weights. In the streets, aggression is a bigger factor than in compitition. Got cut off by another car a couple of years ago, guy got out of his car puffing his chest but as soon as he saw me getting out too and but already in fight stance and stepping towards him with no hesitation, he got back in his car and went off. Sparring or competition really is another context. All the training did help me, got jumped by 2 guys, cornered, 1 trying to stab me while the other was pinning me down, but I was able to fight myself out of that situation without being hurt. Freezing up would have gotten me killed right there.
And your second time, too... maybe :) A problem that I encountered was: Aggressiveness If someone comes at you and you don't have any interest in hurting him, you might pick a level of defense/responding violence that is not appropriate (too low or too high) compared to the violence the aggressor is putting on the table. By that alone you can be hurt, because you are not on the same level of aggression as the aggressor.
@@HarryTzianakisTheGodOfSpeed I'd tell them, "hey after I expend all the energy my anger can muster, I am about to be a worthless punching bag in less than two minutes, so really just feel free to open up on me then. " Anger increases activity in the limbic system, decreasing the ability to think rationally, and by proxy decreasing IQ and critical problem solving skills. Anger also drastically increases cortisol which causes you to tighten up and actually throw weaker strikes while expending more energy causing you to gas out much sooner as you will also likely not be very effectively pacing yourself. You should wish to train until every aspect of combat becomes a second nature instinct that you have no emotional ties to. You should be able to not think or feel and allow your body to do what you've trained it to do.
This is true, also the same goes for sparring, even if ur more skilled than ur opponent if they are going harder and more aggressively with their intentions than u need to match that energy or even exceed it in order not to get hurt. It's stupid but there are idiot sparring partners
Wow, it’s been so many years. I don’t even remember my first fight, much less if I froze or not. All I can remember that it was while I was in the Marines.
Ha ha ha ha lmfaoo000!!! 😂🤣😆 Your first fight was when you were an adult? WTF??? ha ha ha ha ha I can remember my first fight it was when i was still a baby in 1st grade. Some kid was jealous the girls thought i was cute So he started with me. He pushed me in my face with both hands I got so upset i teared up and tried to punch him but my foot slipped and my face hit the chair almost busting my knew front teeth out my mouth. I felt my teeth loose and ran to the bathroom bleeding After all this the next day i was in the bathroom and he came in with his best friend 😇 That when i beat the shit out of him scratching his face like a cheese greater . Ha ha ha ha it was more like a girl fight lmfaoo000!! His friend ran off to get the teacher. My father beat the shit out of me for that ha ha ha ha 🤦♂️ And you are a grown man and Can't remember a fight? Ok buddy
@@kenlucas5474 me? I lost most of my fights. I just never wanted to do it, but it was part of the program. Did fantastic in forms competition, but just never had that warrior instinct to win in matches. I have to admit, it did help my training immensely. I got faster and learned how to take hits and shrug them off. I did full contact fighting for maybe a little over ten years until my early thirties when it started taking longer to heal, then I stopped. I haven’t fought in over 20 years now. I still do forms and bag work though.
Finally, the freeze response is addressed! (It is distinct from outright fear or flight.) Thank you for addressing this all too common response when faced with the threat of physical aggression.
After my first professional beat down Randy Tex Cobb took me to his hotel room and gave me that lecture. Every fighter needs to hear it after that first shocking moment.
This is an outstanding point. I've seen that fear in the eyes of people who've tried to attack me, when they weren't prepared for my response. And I've been there myself. This is how trained people end up losing in real fights to experienced street fighters and this is also how "that doesn't really work" actually does, in fact, work. If the OODA loop is overwhelmed by stimuli that hasn't been experienced it can absolutely create a freeze response. The opposite is also true. Someone who has survived legitimate life-or-death encounters will have an OODA loop that operates more quickly under that stress. When it comes to defending yourself, either in a ring or in the real-world, experience is king. Be careful who you choose to lose your temper with or who you choose to push. Keep it in the ring / on the mats.
I've trained martial arts for maybe 20 years (judo, thaï boxing, MMA), I've had some small "fights" (even in the "street", but nothing too out of hand), lots & lots of sparring etc but a couple weeks ago I had my first thaï boxing fight and for the first time I really felt "attacked". The guy literally tried to take my head off with kicks, punches, and I froze for the whole 1st round. All I could do was trying to avoid the most lethal blows, but I was really shocked by his level of agression and in my head I was like "shit. He's really going to hurt me. If my guard just misses 1 head kick or punch, it's goodnight for me. WTF am I doing here? I don't want that, I don't want to really hurt him, and I sure don't want to get hurt bad". That was a special & humbling experience.
It is not about the physical beating. What's far worse is the psychological distress people get. In martial arts training the beating you get is not worse, because from that you only get a rewarding feeling on LEARNING, what you came there to do in first place. I have absolutely never thought about my physical beatings being worse than what I experienced as a kid... Yes, I understand that's only me.. But thats how I see it, and experience it. The beating you get in training is not worse than what you experience being helpless against bullies... Especially as a kid, that is your whole world, and will absolutely also ruin your whole world.
I know what I will most likely do: run, even I'm bad at it. I had experienced it (sort of) unfortunately, and the first thing came in my mind was looking for where I could run (I did run away).
Thanks for this video Ramsey, recently I've have started sparring in my gym after about 5 years of just hitting the heavy bag in the background. My first couple sparring partners have not taken the beating by my hand that I once gave to my punching bag, which has led me to question my abilities as a fighter and my investment within the practice. However, this video helped a lot as well as another video by @FightTips where I learned that to be any good (or at least passable) at any aspect of martial arts you have to spend 100 rounds doing it ESPECIALLY when it comes to sparring. I'm currently at round 6. Wish me luck
Good luck mate! It suddenly become a whole different game when someone's coming back at you. It's like starting from new again. In time you will get used to it and then you will become a much better fighter for it!
I feel like pain that you chose isn't the same as pain that you didn't. It's easier to accept taking punches in the liver or face, banging shins against shins, having your lungs and body burning during cardio than any pain you didn't sign for. But I think it helps to deal with it.
That’s interesting, if someone starts an altercation I have no issues turning it I’m up to 11(I find they often don’t even want to fight when you do that) but I find it really hard to consistently turn up to training, precisely because of how hard the training is
I was attacked from behind by a psychotic guy trying to stab me in the back with a steel fork... years ago...in a psych ward courtyard (fenced in, no security there...they were inside) I didn't freeze. I managed to grab his wrist... and stand up, unload punches on him with my free hand... and kick his knee. I broke his leg in 3 places. he was 250lbs...... psychotic. I was around 225lbs at the time...full of adrenaline and also strong as an ox. true story. they had to take him on a stretcher to the ER. be careful who you attack! not every guy will just freeze up...some of us will throw at you! I also choked a man out... 6 foot 4... 285lbs or so I also picked up a 325lb guy off his feet on a bet.. held him there for a count of 10. i'm not a violent person. i'm not a street fighter. but I do believe in self defense. :))
That one time, everyone stared at me, but everyone was very comprehensive, specially the coach. It's impressive what a long way I've come from there, and everyone who starts training.
Great topic! Thank you for sharing this. Not many people will tell you how to handle an adrenaline dump because they have no clue how to handle an adrenaline dump! It took me years until I realized what happened after my first fight. I blamed myself and thought this is what happens to your body when you are a coward. No. Your blood rushes, and your vital organs become protected. Unfortunately, you just have to experience it before you learn how to deal with it. Part of the battle is understanding what is happening and that it is natural. I was raised to never fight, so I assumed these feelings were bad and deserved. They are for your protection! Keep fighting.
I had an experience (non-violent) this week in that same theme and I froze up. I couldn't push past that line to make the right decision. First time freezing I understand it now.
Great topic even though it requires much more explanations! This the one of the most under-rated aspects of self-defence. Performance anxiety in combat sports is definitely similar to the shock state you enter when you are attacked in the streetzzz, but not the same thing. I am shocked about how humans and animals lose the capability to think properly when in danger, when choosing the right thing to do counts the most!!
I am to guitar what Coach is to martial arts. Love, commitment, flexibility, occasional tendonitis, repetition...it's all training. When I hit the wall and don't know what to play I have a simple command - back to blues. It works everytime. Playing out on the street demands everything - composure, fearlessness, concentration and surrender. Plus really loud singing. At least I'm flexible. Life is training. Forgive again and again and again...especially yourself.
I remember my first grappling match. I was kinda excited and the board with the match-ups was a little bit inaccurate. So I sit there, and suddenly I got called out, mentally not prepared at all. I just remember that I freezed, I felt like I was moving wearing soaked clothes, my body felt so heavy and every move felt clunky. I won that fight, but I don't remember anything. Not how my oppononent looked like or how I won that :D Now I had about 30 matches in total and while it still is exciting as heck I got into it. Looking forward to my first Muay Thai fight next week and my first MMA match next month, I will probably undergo that experience again! :D
What I always said to myself was: ''The fact that you feel this way is good, because you know your body is working properly''. I think a lot of people become afraid of feeling the way that they do at that moment, which is a real thing, becoming afraid of the anxiety is what a lot of people with panic disorders face. But if you took a scientific approach, you should be way more afraid if you DON'T feel the adrenaline rush which will cause you to feel everything and puts your reflexes down
It comes down to one of two things: What Miyamoto Musashi describes as a "void spirit", or what has been described as "mushin-no-shin" or the mind with no-mind. You need to be able to have a mind devoid of thought. You need to be able to just "do". This doesn't come naturally. It takes lots of training in realistic and reactive situations to be able to respond in such a way. You need to become comfortable with violence. Or option two. You need to be a berserker. You need to turn your fear into righteousness anger and lash out against your aggressor with fury. This is also relatively useless without training because anger itself doesn't nake you know how to fight. You can get lucky, sure. Maybe your aggressor sucks too. Maybe you get a lucky knockout punch off. Luck works best for those who don't include it in their plan, however. Which brings us back full circle. You need to become comfortable with violence. You do not do that without realistic training.
This reminds me in a video when you said "What we see is the best guess of our brain taking reference from previous experiences" taking that in account, it brings me to a Sensei Seth's video that he tries VR Boxing, and there are some studies showing that Virtual Reality had reducing anxiety in cases of PTSD by exposing the person to that traumatic experience in an controlled environment. If the technology advances a bit further would be fun to see if VR could be used as a form of psychologically training people to deal with very stressful "fight or flight" situations before they happen, and I am not speaking only about fighting.
Just look up seagull attack compilations. The majority of people who are ambushed are in shock. They can't intelligently protect themselves from a 3 pound bird. And in Australia it's so common they offer seagull ate my lunch insurance.
Thank you for this video, I go to my first Muay Thai class on Wednesday. I want to get the stress of my childhood out and I'm ready to fall down to get back up. I have my therapist in my backpocket so it's all good haha.
When I was a kid I fenced with foil that will make sense in a minute Normally the one that attacks is two or three steps ahead of you. You have to move away , you have to first get distance, you have to defend yourself. You need time to react.. fencing taught me to dance backwards as fast or faster than most folks move forward. I was comfortable sparing and competing but then I became a police officer. Backing up and gaining distance really made a difference. Night stick trumps black belt….
As a child an infant I was only a a few months old. My brother was two years older than me anywhere he would see me he would just abused the crap out of me. You have no idea ha ha ha My mother would tell me she couldn't leave me anywhere if I was sitting on a chair he pulled me off of it. So my upbringing was pretty tough from an infant.. My brother was my first bully🤣🤦♂️ He would literally beat the living crap out of me every single day. An example would be I would be laying on the floor on my belly watching cartoons and he would jump off of the dinner table like Jimmy Superfly Snuka and give me an elbow on my back knocking the wind out of me. I would be in the fetal position trying to catch my breath for at least two minutes. Before I was 10 years old I already had over 7 fights in school probably more. When I grew up and went to high school at that point I was well-known and people feared me. At 15 years old I was pushing 225 lb in reppin it. Funny thing is that in high school my brother had bullies. Even though he would have abused me my whole life I still wouldn't let anyone else abused him. I probably should have let them. My brother was at the bus stop one day he looked sad I asked him what happened he said the twins have been bullying him there was these two twins Peter and Paul They were two years older than me and didn't know that I had a brother in the school but they know me very well and feared me. I saw them and I went up to them and was talking to them and pointed at my brother saying who is that guy so they started to make fun of him when they started to make fun of him I punch them in the face saying that's my brother. I grabbed one of the twins and beat the living crap out of him as the other one ran off and left his brother for dead. Ha ha ha ha another one of my brothers bullies found out I was his brother so he tried to bully me kicking my school bag as I was walking down the stairs almost killed myself. I freaked out and grabbed him and just started punching his face in . Now remember these guys are two years older than me in high school that is a huge difference. I went to the Dean's office waiting for my father to come which had me more scared than anything ha ha ja my father would whoop me harder than my brothers bully ha ha ha . That was just in School not the fights in the neighborhoods. I would get jumped all the time if there was more than 4 to 5 guys my go-to weapon was car antennas. Ha ha ha ahhhhh the good old days
You re absolutly right, i had this agument about the flight or fight or freeze (then shut down) response by defending a girl who came out and speak up about her sexual agressor (rapist) : everyone where like (to summerize) "Girl you should have done this and that, and if i were you i would have punched him so hard". and from all the comments (around 45 comments back then) i was the only one to say ''when you agressed or assaulted, you will freeze and do you re best to avoid to be harmed" then i told i m a former securiy guard, i was a green belt judoka, i m freaking huge and tall, but the guy in front of me had one thing in mind, to toss me under the subway train, and i dont know why he wanted to brawl me this bad, you re not perpared when you re not the agressor, the only thing i was able to do was pull back and try to control his hand to avoid punches, hopefully the station security was there, they separated us, almost thrown me in the train and circled the guy to let me literally get away uscaved. FOR 3 DAYS i was affraid to get out, so when i think of this girl who froze up and her only surviving tactics was not moving at all, or a friend who got robbed in a store at gun point and still have axiety when she goes outside 2 years after the event, yes anyone is prepared for being attack (you also said the same about Fo Da Streetz vid).
this is reiterating what I will scream to the heavens. The "arms chairs" of ANY violent situation will always ask "why didnt person do x? why did they just watch?" like.. they were in shock. Chances are they had never experienced a violent situation and all they could do is be there. The lights were on but no one was home.
You are 100 percent spot on Ramsey, but it seems to depend on the situation and the ‘attack’ I’d done Karate for maybe 6-7 years, guy verbally abusing me( I’m maybe 18) he started choking the life out me, I broke his grip and a left ‘range finder’ than absolutely cleaned him up with a right. I think I had ‘time to think/ prepare as he was strangling? A few years later two dudes verbal abuse, I’m pissed ( drunk) one gets out car ‘jerky’ walk up to me, goes for a double lapel and head butt… my mind was saying ‘Front kick front kick!!’ But my body froze, I stood there like a statue! All I managed was to turn my head as to not take it on the nose, but down I went! I did take the big fat B’strd with me but, got the upper hand as I was ‘waking up to the situation’ if that makes sense? And I was sort of in ‘mount’ I guess, just about to lay a volley into him, his face was a picture and he’s yelling at his mate ‘F him ! F him!’ I caught his mate coming in with big soccer kick to ribs, a few more and they left me. I wasn’t really hurt, broken ribs hurt when you laugh, Carry ladders at work, but I’m my mind I was so ashamed! I kept thinking about my old sensei and other students and how they would have been ‘real men’ and kicked the shit out both of them! LIKE I COULD! I was gutted and 25 yrs later still am! Now I avoid conflict at all costs, but if someone ‘starts’ I’m ready to go all in immediately! I don’t get so ‘scared’ I don’t think, I’ve learned the hard way to go all in when you have to! Anything is better than standing there! ( obviously if you can’t talk it down/ get away etc.) Be the grey man, don’t look for trouble, try and avoid if it comes, but go ALL IN hell for leather if your spidey sense tingles ( the jerky walk up to you like the fat headbutter’). If I’m lucky one day I’ll get the chance to repay that large man, life sometimes gives you one 👍🏻
Great video Ramsey! This was a thought provoking few minutes. A couple years ago a random guy in the neighborhood went berserk outside my apartment and confronted me yelling "I'm gonna kick your ass" and all I had the wherewithal to do was stay out of range and look confused until I thought "I'm going to slip in these dress shoes, maybe I should take them off"? Only problem with that was the rough pavement because it was on Da Streetz! Epilogue; I just kept him busy circling around until the cops came, he didn't really want to engage, but was sure mad about something!
The first time I got into a fight as a teenager, I didn't freeze. However, I probably cried for the next 15 minutes in the car after my dad picked me up after my mind caught up with what happened. The first time I did hard sparring in a martial arts class, though, I can distinctly remember freezing instead of fighting back. My partner came out very aggressive, made a mistake, and left me with a wide open shot. We made eye contact and he actually said "uh oh" ...and I didn't hit him.
Great advice as usual. The important thing is to learn from the experience. It happens to me in my first boxing match.I froze and lasted only seconds.My next fight I learned from my mistakes and knocked out my next opponent in seconds.So you can learn from your mistakes.
I remember a fight long ago where I froze up fighting someone significantly larger than me. The dude was like 6'5, 250lbs, and had a very intimidating demeanor. I admit I was scared, and I froze, and moments later I was on the ground getting pummeled. My movements and strikes were far more stilted and jerkier than usual because of the fear I experienced. After that fight, I decided I would never be in a position where fear would take me over like that and I started getting some real training as opposed to the Mcdojo I was currently with
Another amazing video, if I may make a suggestion talking about the exhaustion from the stress of your first few fights would be a good one. Both my first kickboxing fight and my first gunfight I remember being the most tired I've ever been just from the stress alone. What I learned is there's situations you have to perform and "mind of matter" bs just means your more miserable. Ps fantastic tidbit at the end, I take it you've been through the ringer too. Everyone gets so focused on the injury and not the healing and growth that comes after. And that yes you can come back from the brink even better.
I have a very clear memory on my mind of one judo championship i went when i was 16. We were waiting our turn to fight. Some guys start coughing, other even puke due to the anxiety other start moving around or jumping to deal with it. Fighting is scary, learning how to control your fear is a big factor to win a fight.
Freezing wasn't my experience, not exactly. It was more like feeling disembodied and watching it happen. I'll tell the 'not that big a deal because I was lucky' story so it makes sense and because I haven't thought about this in years and the video sparked a memory. For context I had grappled and sometimes sparred previously but never did an amateur much less pro bout. I liked the grappling a lot more, I dislike being punched a lot. Training was just for fun for me. I'm not going to say I was good or even decent but just ok. This is what you can expect if you turn up 2-3 times a week for 3 years and you are in shape and you enjoy training but have no competitive drive or weird sadistic streak. Anyway I was 25 at the time and I was walking home and 5 like 17-18 year olds were coming in the other direction. They were pretty skinny compared to me, I like lifting and they were beanpoles. Anyway they were clearly in poor humor and said something as I passed and I said something like have a nice night to try to be polite and not engage. I walked another 3 steps and got punched in the back of the head. I was probably nervous something like that was about to happen but once it did things got weird. Anyway, the fight narrative. I turned around and grabbed the closest guy by his shirt with one hand and started punching his face with the other. He seemed kind of shocked this was happening which seemed weird to me for ages because like, buddy what did you think was going to happen? But he was probably having his own shock moment at that point. The start of the fight probably actually resembled the silliness people defend against in women's self defense class but panicked and at full speed. My punches felt really weak though. Its was like if you are used to benching and then just take the weights on the bar off. It feels like nothing, not nothing like you are so strong but nothing like there's no weight in your punch. At this point though the other teens were trying to get to the side of me to throw their punches and because I felt like nothing was happening with the guy I had a hold of I double legged him with a trip. As it turned out the punches weren't nothing because I took the skin off knuckles. In retrospect you can really see the confused rationale. I felt weak so I took him down and made myself an easier target for the four other angry teens. I can't remember if I hit him on the ground but I stood up again quickly and tried to grab the next nearest guy to repeat my grab and punch performance. They backed up and wanted no part of it. Anyway they let me move away and people in the houses were already calling the cops. They picked them up like an hour and a half later. All in it was probably a minute, a minute and a half at most. In retrospect what saved me was the teens didn't have any weapons like knives, they didn't know how to punch or kick, individually I was much stronger than any one of them, I was wearing a heavy coat and a backpack which absorbed a lot of what they did throw and they were hoping I would just turtle and they could just do a shitkicking and didn't like the taste of not that. In terms of trained martial arts technique the only thing I did was the takedown which was by far the stupidest thing I could have done. I think I felt terror the second I did it but all the events are kind of a mush. You don't have discrete moments in an unexpected fight where you're thinking, 'ah he's slow to bring his hand back up on the jab so I can'. Its more like an ice-cream hits the floor, it all just happens at once. I'm not telling the story to make out like I'm some kind of bad ass. I'll stress, nothing cool happened. It didn't look cool, none of us did anything smart. It was just confusing and so stupid and ridiculous. I wouldn't even say I was brave by fighting back. There wasn't a choice that happened. Maybe that night the dice roll another way and my neurons fire different and I curl into a ball. But the way neurons fired the it was more like being a neutral observer who doesn't understand what is going on as it happens even as he is mysteriously even to himself involved in what is happening. And then an hour later when you're at home you start freaking out because you could have died or gotten hurt forever
Been reading through these comments, yours sounds to me very honest and authentic ( so far ) to what I believe to be the norm that is experienced in these situations.
When i hear this, it validate my belief that ''Aikido,Kungfu, taekwondo, krav maga, jutjitsu etc..'' the ''TMA'' are mostly geared towards people WHO KNOWS how to fight or they looking for spirituality and some heath. Why ? I've been in fight and I froze the first times, my brain rush so much I forget my super technique... heck boxer forget how to punch, in sparring your usually more clumsy than in training (hockey players in practice score the net 9 out of 10 times, but in a real game it turn 1 out of 20). You need to learn simple technique martial arts (kickboxing, boxing, wrestling) to make it easier in the street... I love Judo but judo can be complex and the ''street self-defense'' aren't always thought... while the striking sport or wrestling you TRAIN like you FIGHT (they not geared for the street but they teach techniques that are more adrenaline rush / shock resistant)
9 out of 10 times, if you’re attacked on the street, the other guy has a weapon, so it’s important to train how to deal with weapons in situations in which you can’t run. But even in those instances, you’re likely to get harmed. So the most important thing is spatial awareness.
Hi coach, do you have any tip to be more aggresive effectively in sparring and fighting in general ? I'm comfortable enough to keep it cool and defend myself when shots are being throw at me but then i realized i'm too defensive and keep letting people dictate the pace of the fight, and that's not ok in my standard. When i try to be aggressive, i either reaching for shots which compormised my balance and body structure or i get countered back alot
Each person is different, I've yet to fight (I would like to). Maybe all you need is to tell yourself "kill", maybe you need a whole ritual before the fight. Look for videos on channeling aggression, some of it is just habit
Draw them in and then counter. So it looks like you’re being defensive, but you’re actually calculating your next move based on their move. In chess, it’s called a pre-move.
@@KKk-zj6lv This!! In your shadowboxing, envision an opponent swarming you. Which shot are they tele-graphing? How are you moving your feet to set up your next strike? Sometimes a swift left leg kick if you are orthodox which unbalances them and allows you to reset. You are on the right path friend.
I have throughout life been in fights and taught Gung Fu / Karate Judo/going back more than 30 years. I have one time when fighting full contact with a guy I know but not seen for years named Tod, quit because of a simple mistake I made, and lost through stopping the fight myself.We had several good exchanges but I because even though we have both hit people and been hit and on and on and so fourth, this one time I was too relaxed! I of course had a mouth guard for my teeth but guess what he tagged me with a right cross only about 50% but as I was not taking it seriously enough because he's a friend - My jaw was too relaxed and it hurt more than if I had been fighting someone else seriously. I could of gone on and should of but did not because I did want to break my jaw and that was fearful and I felt stupid, and it was my own fault. Usually if I have been hit by someone I want to have a reckoning and get them. I felt like a fool, but then pain is pain,I have lost matches on the mat too strangled out. it is never fun except when you win it feels pretty good. It reminds me of the song:" In clearing stands a boxer and fighter by his trade and he carries the reminders of every glove that cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains ". Anyway I plan to go back To Seattle Judo dojo and train again and I will be careful, as I am no spring chicken, also want to go see one of my old students at his Goju ryu school and may work some there? And maybe teach some more too again somewhere else.The only time I remember freezing or being in shock was when someone who had no business striking me, slapped me across the face because I was 5 mins late to pick them up, they were 6 months pregnant with my first child, they were driving the car and asked why I was late, the next thing I know while looking forward took a fairly hard slap caught on the face. I was shocked at that behavior! I started drinking not long after that which was dumb!! But quit drinking over 30 years ago! There and then I should if ended that relationship! There are several types of violence, physical, emotional, verbal , sexual and destruction of pets and or property. They can all be shocking, I know that is a bit off topic. Anyway I appreciate your work!
Before I finish the video, the thing you said at the beginning, about the pain you go through to be good at martial arts being worse than what the Billy's put you through. That is true, but it is a constructive pain rather than harmful. I hurt so bad from standing in horse stance four 3 hours while lifting logs, but it was making me stronger. Where as, when a kid on my street laying a rebar pole across my chest while I'm riding my bike did actual damage that lasted into My 20s. (Cracked a rib)
I will say there is one thing about martial arts as a deterrent to bullying: martial arts improves both self-esteem and general athleticism. Being more confident and more athletic is an excellent deterrent to bullies, as they will be likely to find another, easier target who is less confident and less athletic. 99 out of 100 times you will not have to use your martial arts mastery for it to have an effect.
Growing up my cousins were a bit older, I was annoying, playtime became rough, I got knocked around more than I care to admit. First time I got popped what did I do? Froze like a deer in headlights lol. It's exactly as you said , you just gotta get used to being uncomfortable and focus on your objective. A few years later, when I was 14, my martial arts journey began. I had a huge advantage in sparring and tournaments because I had already had my clock cleaned a few times. So I had victory after victory against opponents that on paper should of mopped the floor with me.
I train in kyokushin karate and entered a kickboxing competition recently. It was my first kickboxing match and I was matched up against a muay thai guy. It was exactly how you described your first match, I froze up and got thrown completely off my game. My reasoning was in addition to this being my first kickboxing match, I had only been training for this for about a month.
Thanks Ramsey, wise words as always. I came across an ex soldier who is going to give training in not really self defense but more on how to train to keep calm if something happens. He talk about the amygdala and it was all very interesting. He talked about how he scans a place a the people, immediately search for the emergency exit, that kind of thing. I said I'm interested 😅
I didn't freeze my first times sparring or boxing but I froze up in my first, and only so far, MMA match. I didn't exactly freeze but the pain of the punches definitely shocked me and I got way in my head and demoralized after hitting him real hard and seeing no impact. I remember thinking "there's nothing else here I can do but run around till I get KOed" and I gave up. I know the pain will jerk me the next time but I will not defeat myself mentally again but trust in my training.
Fight-or-flight response is real Unless you have have experience and these situations you don't know what you're going to do . once I experienced being attacked aggressively I became calm in physical altercations because of the Experience. When it comes to fighting you can't fake it to you make it The truth comes out eventually.
Agreed its a shitty experience as the body more or less locks up or becomes uncontrollably shaken due to the shock. I guess its just down to de-sensitising oneself to the unpleasantries of combat.
I delt with this problem alot when I'm on the train and there's two guys fighting or a guy coming up to me looking very suspicious, freezing up is something DEFINITELY not mentioned in fights
Hey Ramsey love your vids. What advice do you have for training for this while unable to spar? i really want to train but am unable to as covid in our country is still making it difficult to train other than at home haha
First two times I got into a fight I went into autopilot. My body moved but my mind was totally disconnected. I was thinking "He's trying to hit me. He's trying to hurt me." Luckily my reflexes seem to be pretty decent at keeping me from actually getting hurt. The autopilot might be good for untrained highschool bullies but I doubt it'd do much for me in a more serious fight. I've had a few more encounters since those days but I can't be sure I wouldn't revert back to that. As I've gotten older though I've stopped caring about getting hurt as much. I realize now that the guy trying to come at me is likely just as much of a novice as I am.
Wise words from the Coach. I used to practice aikido a lot like 3 times a week training and what happend one day I was crossing a street daydreaming. Then suddenly I was standing over this guy who was laying on the ground, saying please don't hit me. I had no idea what happed and some people around me said I crossed the street and he run into me on his bicycle, he then hit me and I threw him on the ground. Scary part was I still cant remember what happend, it was a fully automated response.
I do not think this happened my man. And before you decide to respond aggressively or in a dismissive way, which you can of course, just keep in my mind that it is my opinion. Have a nice day.
Ramsey I have a question for a video, or even just a response here. Could you talk about what someone from America has to do to open a mma/bjj gym in China and live there that way, and if you happen to know for Japan same question
I almost had the opposite with my first fight where i just went fight or flight and autopiloted to a win, definitely not upset about it but i dont particularly have much memory of the beginning of the fight because of it
hey man for how long did you train beforehand ? how old are you? I am 27 and ive started 3 month ago, im really into it i want to ask my coach if i can fight soonish like in 2-3 month i said to myself i want to train like 6 month before my 1st fight, do you think thats enough on amateur level?
@@richtigerkekko334 ooof six months is steep. If your talented you can do it, but I remember my skill at six months and I wasn’t nearly in fighting shape. I could probably win against an opponent especially if he’s trained for similar amount of time but you’ll probably get hurt doing it or lose by early stoppage. Might as well save yourself time and train for a year i think, especially since your an older competitor.
Hell, I've been in multiple fights and frozen in all but one of them. It's unfortunately just one of the human body's natural reactions out fight, flight, or freeze. It's just difficult in this day and age where physical confrontation is rare.
I will say this. The first wrestling match I ever had I was fouled violently. Put things into perspective. I was dropped and scorpioned. Kicked myself in the back of the head because he dropped me and I went belly down. When it comes to slams any overhead slam the decent has to be controlled. This was anything but. He got a point removed. And I froze like a deer in the headlights. In general fights the first few times are shocking. But experience is the ultimate dissuader of shock.
Not everyone has this problem. I have never had this problem, when striking (I did when I started learning grappling) Every time I have been in an actual fight and gotten punched, I just get so angry i don't freeze. I tend to freeze in stupid non-stressful situations like when looking for my keys, I'll stand there dumbfounded and forget what I am doing, but when people are throwing fists I don't freeze. I am not saying I am a good fighter (i'm not), but I just haven't had this problem. I have had this problem when grappling. I took my second BJJ class today and definitely froze a couple times while sparring. I'm going to have to train my way out of it.
The only fight i ever got in i can't even remember it: i was attacked, my mind just switched out and at the end both me and my adversary were hurt. My friends told me what happened, i punched him and he punched me, it was total instinct, there was no technique or thinking.
Good advice bro. Harnessing that adrenaline dump is key, for sure. 👏👌 If you think of it as a 2 gallon jug full of a finite amount of natural spacejuice, then u can aim to pour it out gradually over 3+ rounds, and use its positive effects throughout the fight...instead of guzzling the pitcher down in 30 seconds flat. 🤷♂️
I guess that's the benefit of being the oldest of six and the next being two years younger. We fought so hard I once knocked a dresser over with his head for biting me. I don't even remember the first time I was hit, maybe even the first thousand. I never really experienced shock or froze, but that was probably out of the way at a very young age.
I started practicing kickboxing early January and almost 4 months later I still can't do on sparring what I have in mind to do, let alone in the stress of the moment in a stupid street fight with 0 experience. Fights are incredibly unpredictable, and you are fighting another human being, that also has a will and thoughts, I think that many times people on the internet forget that other humans are not npcs, they aren't dolls, they will definitely fight back and not give u time to plan shit, you can't think about this kinds of things one sided.
Avoiding what frightens us reinforces our fear. Avoidance is not the answer. You don’t learn to swim in your living room.Violence has always frightened me. So one day I decided to be a bouncer in discos. And, little by little, I learned to swim (the first thing we learn, is if the other impresses you, you impress him too: from then on you stop being paralyzed). 👊🙏👊 PS: let me be clear: I still abhor violence. And I don’t recommend this way... do some sports... yes, "get out there and train!"
Yes, this is spot on. My first kickboxing fight I totally froze up when my opponent came at me with a level of aggression that I had never experienced before. I got TKOed in the first round! I lost my next 2 fights after that against opponents that I should have beaten, and nearly gave up. I thought that I just wasn't cut out for combat sports. But I just couldn't live without martial arts in my life. So I gave it another shot. Then my next fight I won by KO and things started to turn around. I went on to compete for 16 years and did pretty well. But the mental game was always one of my weaker areas. Like you said, it’s not always the most technically sound person who rises to the top. It’s a combination of many elements tying together to make a complete fighter. Some people have those natural attributes that make them more suited to combat. But most of us have to work very hard at it and go through a lot of extremely tough experiences to develop the kind of mental strength it takes to become an accomplished fighter.
Getting into martial arts after being bullied... Getting beaten up in training, trying to learn how to defend yourself... Getting frozen in the middle of the ring, receiving heavy blows to the head...
Dealing with that while dealing with depression...
I know how it feels, it's still tough to this day, many years after it started...
Every time I come to one of these Ramsey q&a's, I get life lessons as well as the answer... That alone is worth its weight in gold to me.
Yeah one of the best and most honest RUclips channels out there
agreed, but how much does a video weigh?
Absolutely!
A very wise fellow indeed
3:27 - THIS. Being able to keep your wits in such pressure scenarios is indeed a skill in itself. Probably the most important
I agree with you 100% mate 👍
Yes all the training went away when the tornomante happened and the fight was real 😂😂 I couldn't even remember to breath
I dont fight, and Iv never trained any combat discipline in my life, yet I watch your channel for 3-4 years just for the bants. You blow my mind, god bless you
dude´s telling you to go out and train for 3 years and you still dont train?
The scariest part of a fight (for me) was when a guy just got up from the ground, his face all bloodied after I punched him and he still wanted to continue. That was the most shocking thing I had ever experienced. Psychologically it was disturbing, because he should have quit. My nerves only calmed after I let my guard down and allowed him hit me back. It didn't hurt, so I decided to just go on the defensive after that and let him gas out. I didn't want to hurt the guy any more than I did. If I caused him any more damage, I could have gotten an assault charge and you don't want that to happen because some crackhead didn't want to give up.
Key detail here is “crackhead”. Those fuckers don’t feel pain, they’re like zombiesx
Dude no one will actually quit . I don't know what we're you expecting
@@xcept7355 Not expecting anything. MY point was the fact that getting an assault or manslaughter charge for beating someone to death is A LOT scarier than getting beat up. The fact that he chose not to quit was scary because I could have easily killed him if I wasn't careful.
I don't know about you, but even if I can avoid prison, I don't want to have a felony on my record, because you won't be able to find a job. America has some messed up laws and there is a lot of gray area. You can always claim self defense, but you may not always get away with it. It all depends on how good your attorney is vs the prosecutor.
Two times I remember being shocked, the first time me and a friend boxed each other. He boxed before and I didn’t. It was definitely a shock, he blitzed me and started throwing punches and I didn’t know how to handle it. The second time was my first real street fight, I saw friends who I thought were tough freeze but I stood my ground. Its always a shock the first time seeing how yourself and others react to a situation
Lots of bully stories. Got bullied and beat up in school prettig bad (once hospitalized). At 15 or 16, can't remember how many times being beat, went berserk and head butted the first guy in front of me. At that time the other 4 went wow. It saved me from the beatings, nevertheless the psychological bullying continued untill swapped schools because the school was blaming me, that very year I retaliated. First week in new school, first attempt to bully, sent message not to mess with me. Just the mindset of not caring to win or lose, just wanting to hurt the opponent reflected in my eyes probably, was left alone for the rest of my school carreer. 😁
At 18 started kickboxing, which helped me to keep my composure and helped me dealing with the depression and ptsd of years of bullying en being beat.
I'm 40 know and even bigger guys fear me to spar with because I get this crazy look in of eyes. I'm only 5ft 7" mind you and out boxing coach likes to challange you if you're up for it so I mostly spar against the heavy weights.
In the streets, aggression is a bigger factor than in compitition. Got cut off by another car a couple of years ago, guy got out of his car puffing his chest but as soon as he saw me getting out too and but already in fight stance and stepping towards him with no hesitation, he got back in his car and went off. Sparring or competition really is another context.
All the training did help me, got jumped by 2 guys, cornered, 1 trying to stab me while the other was pinning me down, but I was able to fight myself out of that situation without being hurt. Freezing up would have gotten me killed right there.
And your second time, too... maybe :)
A problem that I encountered was: Aggressiveness
If someone comes at you and you don't have any interest in hurting him, you might pick a level of defense/responding violence that is not appropriate (too low or too high) compared to the violence the aggressor is putting on the table. By that alone you can be hurt, because you are not on the same level of aggression as the aggressor.
That's why you need anger 🤬. People tell me I'm angry. I tell them I'm safe.
@@HarryTzianakisTheGodOfSpeed No amount of anger will win you every fight, but as long as you keep your anger under control, it can be useful.
@@TheWelchProductions ha ha ha I'm laughing as my jab is snapping your teeth out your mouth
@@HarryTzianakisTheGodOfSpeed I'd tell them, "hey after I expend all the energy my anger can muster, I am about to be a worthless punching bag in less than two minutes, so really just feel free to open up on me then. " Anger increases activity in the limbic system, decreasing the ability to think rationally, and by proxy decreasing IQ and critical problem solving skills. Anger also drastically increases cortisol which causes you to tighten up and actually throw weaker strikes while expending more energy causing you to gas out much sooner as you will also likely not be very effectively pacing yourself. You should wish to train until every aspect of combat becomes a second nature instinct that you have no emotional ties to. You should be able to not think or feel and allow your body to do what you've trained it to do.
This is true, also the same goes for sparring, even if ur more skilled than ur opponent if they are going harder and more aggressively with their intentions than u need to match that energy or even exceed it in order not to get hurt. It's stupid but there are idiot sparring partners
Overcoming one's self, it's the toughest opponent you will ever face.
Right on dude
Wow, it’s been so many years. I don’t even remember my first fight, much less if I froze or not. All I can remember that it was while I was in the Marines.
Ha ha ha ha lmfaoo000!!! 😂🤣😆
Your first fight was when you were an adult? WTF??? ha ha ha ha ha
I can remember my first fight it was when i was still a baby in 1st grade.
Some kid was jealous the girls thought i was cute
So he started with me.
He pushed me in my face with both hands
I got so upset i teared up and tried to punch him but my foot slipped and my face hit the chair almost busting my knew front teeth out my mouth.
I felt my teeth loose and ran to the bathroom bleeding
After all this the next day i was in the bathroom and he came in with his best friend 😇
That when i beat the shit out of him scratching his face like a cheese greater .
Ha ha ha ha it was more like a girl fight lmfaoo000!!
His friend ran off to get the teacher.
My father beat the shit out of me for that ha ha ha ha 🤦♂️
And you are a grown man and Can't remember a fight? Ok buddy
Did you win, lose, or draw?
@@kenlucas5474 he messed up his perfect record. Ask him if that was his last fight
@@HarryTzianakisTheGodOfSpeed Good question.
@@kenlucas5474 me? I lost most of my fights. I just never wanted to do it, but it was part of the program. Did fantastic in forms competition, but just never had that warrior instinct to win in matches.
I have to admit, it did help my training immensely. I got faster and learned how to take hits and shrug them off.
I did full contact fighting for maybe a little over ten years until my early thirties when it started taking longer to heal, then I stopped. I haven’t fought in over 20 years now. I still do forms and bag work though.
Finally, the freeze response is addressed! (It is distinct from outright fear or flight.)
Thank you for addressing this all too common response when faced with the threat of physical aggression.
After my first professional beat down Randy Tex Cobb took me to his hotel room and gave me that lecture. Every fighter needs to hear it after that first shocking moment.
This is an outstanding point. I've seen that fear in the eyes of people who've tried to attack me, when they weren't prepared for my response. And I've been there myself. This is how trained people end up losing in real fights to experienced street fighters and this is also how "that doesn't really work" actually does, in fact, work. If the OODA loop is overwhelmed by stimuli that hasn't been experienced it can absolutely create a freeze response. The opposite is also true. Someone who has survived legitimate life-or-death encounters will have an OODA loop that operates more quickly under that stress. When it comes to defending yourself, either in a ring or in the real-world, experience is king.
Be careful who you choose to lose your temper with or who you choose to push. Keep it in the ring / on the mats.
I've trained martial arts for maybe 20 years (judo, thaï boxing, MMA), I've had some small "fights" (even in the "street", but nothing too out of hand), lots & lots of sparring etc but a couple weeks ago I had my first thaï boxing fight and for the first time I really felt "attacked".
The guy literally tried to take my head off with kicks, punches, and I froze for the whole 1st round. All I could do was trying to avoid the most lethal blows, but I was really shocked by his level of agression and in my head I was like "shit. He's really going to hurt me. If my guard just misses 1 head kick or punch, it's goodnight for me. WTF am I doing here? I don't want that, I don't want to really hurt him, and I sure don't want to get hurt bad". That was a special & humbling experience.
It is not about the physical beating. What's far worse is the psychological distress people get. In martial arts training the beating you get is not worse, because from that you only get a rewarding feeling on LEARNING, what you came there to do in first place. I have absolutely never thought about my physical beatings being worse than what I experienced as a kid... Yes, I understand that's only me.. But thats how I see it, and experience it. The beating you get in training is not worse than what you experience being helpless against bullies... Especially as a kid, that is your whole world, and will absolutely also ruin your whole world.
I know what I will most likely do: run, even I'm bad at it.
I had experienced it (sort of) unfortunately, and the first thing came in my mind was looking for where I could run (I did run away).
Wow great topic and answer.
Thanks for this video Ramsey, recently I've have started sparring in my gym after about 5 years of just hitting the heavy bag in the background. My first couple sparring partners have not taken the beating by my hand that I once gave to my punching bag, which has led me to question my abilities as a fighter and my investment within the practice. However, this video helped a lot as well as another video by @FightTips where I learned that to be any good (or at least passable) at any aspect of martial arts you have to spend 100 rounds doing it ESPECIALLY when it comes to sparring. I'm currently at round 6. Wish me luck
Good luck mate! It suddenly become a whole different game when someone's coming back at you. It's like starting from new again. In time you will get used to it and then you will become a much better fighter for it!
I feel like pain that you chose isn't the same as pain that you didn't.
It's easier to accept taking punches in the liver or face, banging shins against shins, having your lungs and body burning during cardio than any pain you didn't sign for. But I think it helps to deal with it.
That’s interesting, if someone starts an altercation I have no issues turning it I’m up to 11(I find they often don’t even want to fight when you do that) but I find it really hard to consistently turn up to training, precisely because of how hard the training is
Hard sparring. Gets rid of the shock
Spot on.
I was attacked from behind by a psychotic guy trying to stab me in the back with a steel fork...
years ago...in a psych ward courtyard (fenced in, no security there...they were inside)
I didn't freeze.
I managed to grab his wrist... and stand up, unload punches on him with my free hand...
and kick his knee.
I broke his leg in 3 places. he was 250lbs...... psychotic.
I was around 225lbs at the time...full of adrenaline and also strong as an ox.
true story. they had to take him on a stretcher to the ER.
be careful who you attack! not every guy will just freeze up...some of us will throw at you!
I also choked a man out... 6 foot 4... 285lbs or so
I also picked up a 325lb guy off his feet on a bet.. held him there for a count of 10.
i'm not a violent person. i'm not a street fighter. but I do believe in self defense.
:))
Thank you for your dream journal entry. Please be seated.
That one time, everyone stared at me, but everyone was very comprehensive, specially the coach.
It's impressive what a long way I've come from there, and everyone who starts training.
Remember what Mike Tyson said, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
Great topic! Thank you for sharing this. Not many people will tell you how to handle an adrenaline dump because they have no clue how to handle an adrenaline dump! It took me years until I realized what happened after my first fight. I blamed myself and thought this is what happens to your body when you are a coward. No. Your blood rushes, and your vital organs become protected. Unfortunately, you just have to experience it before you learn how to deal with it. Part of the battle is understanding what is happening and that it is natural. I was raised to never fight, so I assumed these feelings were bad and deserved. They are for your protection! Keep fighting.
I had an experience (non-violent) this week in that same theme and I froze up. I couldn't push past that line to make the right decision. First time freezing I understand it now.
Great topic even though it requires much more explanations! This the one of the most under-rated aspects of self-defence. Performance anxiety in combat sports is definitely similar to the shock state you enter when you are attacked in the streetzzz, but not the same thing. I am shocked about how humans and animals lose the capability to think properly when in danger, when choosing the right thing to do counts the most!!
this title is comedy by itself
I am to guitar what Coach is to martial arts. Love, commitment, flexibility, occasional tendonitis, repetition...it's all training. When I hit the wall and don't know what to play I have a simple command - back to blues. It works everytime. Playing out on the street demands everything - composure, fearlessness, concentration and surrender. Plus really loud singing. At least I'm flexible. Life is training. Forgive again and again and again...especially yourself.
I remember my first grappling match.
I was kinda excited and the board with the match-ups was a little bit inaccurate.
So I sit there, and suddenly I got called out, mentally not prepared at all.
I just remember that I freezed, I felt like I was moving wearing soaked clothes, my body felt so heavy and every move felt clunky.
I won that fight, but I don't remember anything. Not how my oppononent looked like or how I won that :D
Now I had about 30 matches in total and while it still is exciting as heck I got into it. Looking forward to my first Muay Thai fight next week and my first MMA match next month, I will probably undergo that experience again! :D
What I always said to myself was: ''The fact that you feel this way is good, because you know your body is working properly''. I think a lot of people become afraid of feeling the way that they do at that moment, which is a real thing, becoming afraid of the anxiety is what a lot of people with panic disorders face. But if you took a scientific approach, you should be way more afraid if you DON'T feel the adrenaline rush which will cause you to feel everything and puts your reflexes down
Just read the title and already agreed with everything you will say in the video
It comes down to one of two things:
What Miyamoto Musashi describes as a "void spirit", or what has been described as "mushin-no-shin" or the mind with no-mind. You need to be able to have a mind devoid of thought. You need to be able to just "do". This doesn't come naturally. It takes lots of training in realistic and reactive situations to be able to respond in such a way. You need to become comfortable with violence.
Or option two.
You need to be a berserker.
You need to turn your fear into righteousness anger and lash out against your aggressor with fury.
This is also relatively useless without training because anger itself doesn't nake you know how to fight. You can get lucky, sure. Maybe your aggressor sucks too. Maybe you get a lucky knockout punch off.
Luck works best for those who don't include it in their plan, however.
Which brings us back full circle. You need to become comfortable with violence. You do not do that without realistic training.
This reminds me in a video when you said "What we see is the best guess of our brain taking reference from previous experiences" taking that in account, it brings me to a Sensei Seth's video that he tries VR Boxing, and there are some studies showing that Virtual Reality had reducing anxiety in cases of PTSD by exposing the person to that traumatic experience in an controlled environment.
If the technology advances a bit further would be fun to see if VR could be used as a form of psychologically training people to deal with very stressful "fight or flight" situations before they happen, and I am not speaking only about fighting.
Really good advice, just subbed to you’re channel. Greatly appreciate you’re wisdom.
hey ramsey thanks for the new video always ready for more knowledge thank you!!
Just look up seagull attack compilations. The majority of people who are ambushed are in shock. They can't intelligently protect themselves from a 3 pound bird. And in Australia it's so common they offer seagull ate my lunch insurance.
Thank you for this video, I go to my first Muay Thai class on Wednesday.
I want to get the stress of my childhood out and I'm ready to fall down to get back up. I have my therapist in my backpocket so it's all good haha.
When I was a kid I fenced with foil that will make sense in a minute
Normally the one that attacks is two or three steps ahead of you. You have to move away , you have to first get distance, you have to defend yourself.
You need time to react.. fencing taught me to dance backwards as fast or faster than most folks move forward.
I was comfortable sparing and competing but then I became a police officer.
Backing up and gaining distance really made a difference. Night stick trumps black belt….
As a child an infant I was only a a few months old. My brother was two years older than me anywhere he would see me he would just abused the crap out of me.
You have no idea ha ha ha
My mother would tell me she couldn't leave me anywhere if I was sitting on a chair he pulled me off of it.
So my upbringing was pretty tough from an infant..
My brother was my first bully🤣🤦♂️
He would literally beat the living crap out of me every single day.
An example would be I would be laying on the floor on my belly watching cartoons and he would jump off of the dinner table like Jimmy Superfly Snuka and give me an elbow on my back knocking the wind out of me. I would be in the fetal position trying to catch my breath for at least two minutes.
Before I was 10 years old I already had over 7 fights in school probably more.
When I grew up and went to high school at that point I was well-known and people feared me.
At 15 years old I was pushing 225 lb in reppin it.
Funny thing is that in high school my brother had bullies. Even though he would have abused me my whole life I still wouldn't let anyone else abused him. I probably should have let them.
My brother was at the bus stop one day he looked sad I asked him what happened he said the twins have been bullying him there was these two twins Peter and Paul
They were two years older than me and didn't know that I had a brother in the school but they know me very well and feared me.
I saw them and I went up to them and was talking to them and pointed at my brother saying who is that guy so they started to make fun of him when they started to make fun of him I punch them in the face saying that's my brother.
I grabbed one of the twins and beat the living crap out of him as the other one ran off and left his brother for dead.
Ha ha ha ha another one of my brothers bullies found out I was his brother so he tried to bully me kicking my school bag as I was walking down the stairs almost killed myself.
I freaked out and grabbed him and just started punching his face in . Now remember these guys are two years older than me in high school that is a huge difference.
I went to the Dean's office waiting for my father to come which had me more scared than anything ha ha ja my father would whoop me harder than my brothers bully ha ha ha .
That was just in School not the fights in the neighborhoods.
I would get jumped all the time if there was more than 4 to 5 guys my go-to weapon was car antennas. Ha ha ha ahhhhh the good old days
You re absolutly right, i had this agument about the flight or fight or freeze (then shut down) response by defending a girl who came out and speak up about her sexual agressor (rapist) : everyone where like (to summerize) "Girl you should have done this and that, and if i were you i would have punched him so hard". and from all the comments (around 45 comments back then) i was the only one to say ''when you agressed or assaulted, you will freeze and do you re best to avoid to be harmed" then i told i m a former securiy guard, i was a green belt judoka, i m freaking huge and tall, but the guy in front of me had one thing in mind, to toss me under the subway train, and i dont know why he wanted to brawl me this bad, you re not perpared when you re not the agressor, the only thing i was able to do was pull back and try to control his hand to avoid punches, hopefully the station security was there, they separated us, almost thrown me in the train and circled the guy to let me literally get away uscaved. FOR 3 DAYS i was affraid to get out, so when i think of this girl who froze up and her only surviving tactics was not moving at all, or a friend who got robbed in a store at gun point and still have axiety when she goes outside 2 years after the event, yes anyone is prepared for being attack (you also said the same about Fo Da Streetz vid).
this is reiterating what I will scream to the heavens. The "arms chairs" of ANY violent situation will always ask "why didnt person do x? why did they just watch?" like.. they were in shock. Chances are they had never experienced a violent situation and all they could do is be there. The lights were on but no one was home.
You are 100 percent spot on Ramsey, but it seems to depend on the situation and the ‘attack’
I’d done Karate for maybe 6-7 years, guy verbally abusing me( I’m maybe 18) he started choking the life out me, I broke his grip and a left ‘range finder’ than absolutely cleaned him up with a right. I think I had ‘time to think/ prepare as he was strangling?
A few years later two dudes verbal abuse, I’m pissed ( drunk) one gets out car ‘jerky’ walk up to me, goes for a double lapel and head butt… my mind was saying ‘Front kick front kick!!’ But my body froze, I stood there like a statue! All I managed was to turn my head as to not take it on the nose, but down I went! I did take the big fat B’strd with me but, got the upper hand as I was ‘waking up to the situation’ if that makes sense? And I was sort of in ‘mount’ I guess, just about to lay a volley into him, his face was a picture and he’s yelling at his mate ‘F him ! F him!’ I caught his mate coming in with big soccer kick to ribs, a few more and they left me.
I wasn’t really hurt, broken ribs hurt when you laugh, Carry ladders at work, but I’m my mind I was so ashamed! I kept thinking about my old sensei and other students and how they would have been ‘real men’ and kicked the shit out both of them! LIKE I COULD! I was gutted and 25 yrs later still am!
Now I avoid conflict at all costs, but if someone ‘starts’ I’m ready to go all in immediately! I don’t get so ‘scared’ I don’t think, I’ve learned the hard way to go all in when you have to! Anything is better than standing there! ( obviously if you can’t talk it down/ get away etc.)
Be the grey man, don’t look for trouble, try and avoid if it comes, but go ALL IN hell for leather if your spidey sense tingles ( the jerky walk up to you like the fat headbutter’). If I’m lucky one day I’ll get the chance to repay that large man, life sometimes gives you one 👍🏻
You sound really American
As a carpenter in New York fights happen on the job.
Great video Ramsey! This was a thought provoking few minutes. A couple years ago a random guy in the neighborhood went berserk outside my apartment and confronted me yelling "I'm gonna kick your ass" and all I had the wherewithal to do was stay out of range and look confused until I thought "I'm going to slip in these dress shoes, maybe I should take them off"? Only problem with that was the rough pavement because it was on Da Streetz! Epilogue; I just kept him busy circling around until the cops came, he didn't really want to engage, but was sure mad about something!
Thank you for replying
The first time I got into a fight as a teenager, I didn't freeze. However, I probably cried for the next 15 minutes in the car after my dad picked me up after my mind caught up with what happened.
The first time I did hard sparring in a martial arts class, though, I can distinctly remember freezing instead of fighting back. My partner came out very aggressive, made a mistake, and left me with a wide open shot. We made eye contact and he actually said "uh oh" ...and I didn't hit him.
Great advice as usual. The important thing is to learn from the experience. It happens to me in my first boxing match.I froze and lasted only seconds.My next fight I learned from my mistakes and knocked out my next opponent in seconds.So you can learn from your mistakes.
Good topic today coach.
I remember a fight long ago where I froze up fighting someone significantly larger than me. The dude was like 6'5, 250lbs, and had a very intimidating demeanor. I admit I was scared, and I froze, and moments later I was on the ground getting pummeled. My movements and strikes were far more stilted and jerkier than usual because of the fear I experienced. After that fight, I decided I would never be in a position where fear would take me over like that and I started getting some real training as opposed to the Mcdojo I was currently with
Another amazing video, if I may make a suggestion talking about the exhaustion from the stress of your first few fights would be a good one. Both my first kickboxing fight and my first gunfight I remember being the most tired I've ever been just from the stress alone. What I learned is there's situations you have to perform and "mind of matter" bs just means your more miserable.
Ps fantastic tidbit at the end, I take it you've been through the ringer too. Everyone gets so focused on the injury and not the healing and growth that comes after. And that yes you can come back from the brink even better.
Gunfight?
@@nmn8829 yes in Afghanistan...
@@nmn8829 dude you don't gun train? Pfff index finger curls
@@HarryTzianakisTheGodOfSpeed I don't gun train, I would love too though.
I have a very clear memory on my mind of one judo championship i went when i was 16. We were waiting our turn to fight. Some guys start coughing, other even puke due to the anxiety other start moving around or jumping to deal with it. Fighting is scary, learning how to control your fear is a big factor to win a fight.
So true. Took me years of training and sparring, to handle getting hit hard and not freezing.
Freezing wasn't my experience, not exactly. It was more like feeling disembodied and watching it happen.
I'll tell the 'not that big a deal because I was lucky' story so it makes sense and because I haven't thought about this in years and the video sparked a memory. For context I had grappled and sometimes sparred previously but never did an amateur much less pro bout. I liked the grappling a lot more, I dislike being punched a lot. Training was just for fun for me. I'm not going to say I was good or even decent but just ok. This is what you can expect if you turn up 2-3 times a week for 3 years and you are in shape and you enjoy training but have no competitive drive or weird sadistic streak.
Anyway I was 25 at the time and I was walking home and 5 like 17-18 year olds were coming in the other direction. They were pretty skinny compared to me, I like lifting and they were beanpoles. Anyway they were clearly in poor humor and said something as I passed and I said something like have a nice night to try to be polite and not engage. I walked another 3 steps and got punched in the back of the head. I was probably nervous something like that was about to happen but once it did things got weird.
Anyway, the fight narrative. I turned around and grabbed the closest guy by his shirt with one hand and started punching his face with the other. He seemed kind of shocked this was happening which seemed weird to me for ages because like, buddy what did you think was going to happen? But he was probably having his own shock moment at that point. The start of the fight probably actually resembled the silliness people defend against in women's self defense class but panicked and at full speed. My punches felt really weak though. Its was like if you are used to benching and then just take the weights on the bar off. It feels like nothing, not nothing like you are so strong but nothing like there's no weight in your punch. At this point though the other teens were trying to get to the side of me to throw their punches and because I felt like nothing was happening with the guy I had a hold of I double legged him with a trip. As it turned out the punches weren't nothing because I took the skin off knuckles. In retrospect you can really see the confused rationale. I felt weak so I took him down and made myself an easier target for the four other angry teens. I can't remember if I hit him on the ground but I stood up again quickly and tried to grab the next nearest guy to repeat my grab and punch performance. They backed up and wanted no part of it. Anyway they let me move away and people in the houses were already calling the cops. They picked them up like an hour and a half later. All in it was probably a minute, a minute and a half at most.
In retrospect what saved me was the teens didn't have any weapons like knives, they didn't know how to punch or kick, individually I was much stronger than any one of them, I was wearing a heavy coat and a backpack which absorbed a lot of what they did throw and they were hoping I would just turtle and they could just do a shitkicking and didn't like the taste of not that. In terms of trained martial arts technique the only thing I did was the takedown which was by far the stupidest thing I could have done. I think I felt terror the second I did it but all the events are kind of a mush. You don't have discrete moments in an unexpected fight where you're thinking, 'ah he's slow to bring his hand back up on the jab so I can'. Its more like an ice-cream hits the floor, it all just happens at once.
I'm not telling the story to make out like I'm some kind of bad ass. I'll stress, nothing cool happened. It didn't look cool, none of us did anything smart. It was just confusing and so stupid and ridiculous. I wouldn't even say I was brave by fighting back. There wasn't a choice that happened. Maybe that night the dice roll another way and my neurons fire different and I curl into a ball. But the way neurons fired the it was more like being a neutral observer who doesn't understand what is going on as it happens even as he is mysteriously even to himself involved in what is happening. And then an hour later when you're at home you start freaking out because you could have died or gotten hurt forever
Been reading through these comments, yours sounds to me very honest and authentic ( so far ) to what I believe to be the norm that is experienced in these situations.
You're the real life martial artist Master version of the punisher. (Yes I took your skull fracture into account 💀) a very suiting t-shirt
Yeah... Except for the vigilante part.
@@PhilipAJones vigilantes are normally anonymous... so you never know...
Excellent video. Excellent channel.
great content.... my dad got me hooked on it. mma and ice hockey....
When i hear this, it validate my belief that ''Aikido,Kungfu, taekwondo, krav maga, jutjitsu etc..'' the ''TMA'' are mostly geared towards people WHO KNOWS how to fight or they looking for spirituality and some heath. Why ? I've been in fight and I froze the first times, my brain rush so much I forget my super technique... heck boxer forget how to punch, in sparring your usually more clumsy than in training (hockey players in practice score the net 9 out of 10 times, but in a real game it turn 1 out of 20). You need to learn simple technique martial arts (kickboxing, boxing, wrestling) to make it easier in the street... I love Judo but judo can be complex and the ''street self-defense'' aren't always thought... while the striking sport or wrestling you TRAIN like you FIGHT (they not geared for the street but they teach techniques that are more adrenaline rush / shock resistant)
9 out of 10 times, if you’re attacked on the street, the other guy has a weapon, so it’s important to train how to deal with weapons in situations in which you can’t run. But even in those instances, you’re likely to get harmed. So the most important thing is spatial awareness.
Hi coach, do you have any tip to be more aggresive effectively in sparring and fighting in general ? I'm comfortable enough to keep it cool and defend myself when shots are being throw at me but then i realized i'm too defensive and keep letting people dictate the pace of the fight, and that's not ok in my standard. When i try to be aggressive, i either reaching for shots which compormised my balance and body structure or i get countered back alot
Best defense is the counterattack
Each person is different, I've yet to fight (I would like to). Maybe all you need is to tell yourself "kill", maybe you need a whole ritual before the fight.
Look for videos on channeling aggression, some of it is just habit
Draw them in and then counter. So it looks like you’re being defensive, but you’re actually calculating your next move based on their move. In chess, it’s called a pre-move.
Don't listen to them if you are a pussy just run.
@@KKk-zj6lv This!! In your shadowboxing, envision an opponent swarming you. Which shot are they tele-graphing? How are you moving your feet to set up your next strike? Sometimes a swift left leg kick if you are orthodox which unbalances them and allows you to reset. You are on the right path friend.
I have throughout life been in fights and taught Gung Fu / Karate Judo/going back more than 30 years. I have one time when fighting full contact with a guy I know but not seen for years named Tod, quit because of a simple mistake I made, and lost through stopping the fight myself.We had several good exchanges but I because even though we have both hit people and been hit and on and on and so fourth, this one time I was too relaxed! I of course had a mouth guard for my teeth but guess what he tagged me with a right cross only about 50% but as I was not taking it seriously enough because he's a friend - My jaw was too relaxed and it hurt more than if I had been fighting someone else seriously. I could of gone on and should of but did not because I did want to break my jaw and that was fearful and I felt stupid, and it was my own fault. Usually if I have been hit by someone I want to have a reckoning and get them. I felt like a fool, but then pain is pain,I have lost matches on the mat too strangled out. it is never fun except when you win it feels pretty good. It reminds me of the song:" In clearing stands a boxer and fighter by his trade and he carries the reminders of every glove that cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains ". Anyway I plan to go back To Seattle Judo dojo and train again and I will be careful, as I am no spring chicken, also want to go see one of my old students at his Goju ryu school and may work some there? And maybe teach some more too again somewhere else.The only time I remember freezing or being in shock was when someone who had no business striking me, slapped me across the face because I was 5 mins late to pick them up, they were 6 months pregnant with my first child, they were driving the car and asked why I was late, the next thing I know while looking forward took a fairly hard slap caught on the face. I was shocked at that behavior! I started drinking not long after that which was dumb!! But quit drinking over 30 years ago! There and then I should if ended that relationship! There are several types of violence, physical, emotional, verbal , sexual and destruction of pets and or property. They can all be shocking, I know that is a bit off topic. Anyway I appreciate your work!
Before I finish the video, the thing you said at the beginning, about the pain you go through to be good at martial arts being worse than what the Billy's put you through. That is true, but it is a constructive pain rather than harmful. I hurt so bad from standing in horse stance four 3 hours while lifting logs, but it was making me stronger. Where as, when a kid on my street laying a rebar pole across my chest while I'm riding my bike did actual damage that lasted into My 20s. (Cracked a rib)
I will say there is one thing about martial arts as a deterrent to bullying: martial arts improves both self-esteem and general athleticism. Being more confident and more athletic is an excellent deterrent to bullies, as they will be likely to find another, easier target who is less confident and less athletic.
99 out of 100 times you will not have to use your martial arts mastery for it to have an effect.
Growing up my cousins were a bit older, I was annoying, playtime became rough, I got knocked around more than I care to admit. First time I got popped what did I do? Froze like a deer in headlights lol. It's exactly as you said , you just gotta get used to being uncomfortable and focus on your objective. A few years later, when I was 14, my martial arts journey began. I had a huge advantage in sparring and tournaments because I had already had my clock cleaned a few times. So I had victory after victory against opponents that on paper should of mopped the floor with me.
I train in kyokushin karate and entered a kickboxing competition recently. It was my first kickboxing match and I was matched up against a muay thai guy. It was exactly how you described your first match, I froze up and got thrown completely off my game. My reasoning was in addition to this being my first kickboxing match, I had only been training for this for about a month.
Thanks Ramsey, wise words as always. I came across an ex soldier who is going to give training in not really self defense but more on how to train to keep calm if something happens. He talk about the amygdala and it was all very interesting. He talked about how he scans a place a the people, immediately search for the emergency exit, that kind of thing. I said I'm interested 😅
I’m here to the channel thanks
I didn't freeze my first times sparring or boxing but I froze up in my first, and only so far, MMA match. I didn't exactly freeze but the pain of the punches definitely shocked me and I got way in my head and demoralized after hitting him real hard and seeing no impact. I remember thinking "there's nothing else here I can do but run around till I get KOed" and I gave up. I know the pain will jerk me the next time but I will not defeat myself mentally again but trust in my training.
My problem is autopilot very much and the whole thing just seems to fly by as a blur. I can't seem to be present and calculated.
Need to think of is as a fun experience that comes once in a while. Ha ha ha 🤣 have fun crack jokes as you crack their head in 🤣
Exactly!👍
Fight-or-flight response is real Unless you have have experience and these situations you don't know what you're going to do . once I experienced being attacked aggressively I became calm in physical altercations because of the Experience. When it comes to fighting you can't fake it to you make it The truth comes out eventually.
Agreed its a shitty experience as the body more or less locks up or becomes uncontrollably shaken due to the shock. I guess its just down to de-sensitising oneself to the unpleasantries of combat.
I delt with this problem alot when I'm on the train and there's two guys fighting or a guy coming up to me looking very suspicious, freezing up is something DEFINITELY not mentioned in fights
Hey Ramsey love your vids. What advice do you have for training for this while unable to spar? i really want to train but am unable to as covid in our country is still making it difficult to train other than at home haha
First two times I got into a fight I went into autopilot. My body moved but my mind was totally disconnected. I was thinking "He's trying to hit me. He's trying to hurt me." Luckily my reflexes seem to be pretty decent at keeping me from actually getting hurt. The autopilot might be good for untrained highschool bullies but I doubt it'd do much for me in a more serious fight. I've had a few more encounters since those days but I can't be sure I wouldn't revert back to that. As I've gotten older though I've stopped caring about getting hurt as much. I realize now that the guy trying to come at me is likely just as much of a novice as I am.
Why is Dewey ghost color? I'm calling the cops
Wise words from the Coach. I used to practice aikido a lot like 3 times a week training and what happend one day I was crossing a street daydreaming. Then suddenly I was standing over this guy who was laying on the ground, saying please don't hit me. I had no idea what happed and some people around me said I crossed the street and he run into me on his bicycle, he then hit me and I threw him on the ground. Scary part was I still cant remember what happend, it was a fully automated response.
I do not think this happened my man. And before you decide to respond aggressively or in a dismissive way, which you can of course, just keep in my mind that it is my opinion. Have a nice day.
Not only the first time, even if you have experience, if you don’t fight, after a couple of years you will freeze.
Hi! Thanks for the advice. I'm such a newbie. They get behind me and choke me all the time lol I guess more experience will help indeed...
yup, true.
✨Exposure therapy✨
Ramsey I have a question for a video, or even just a response here. Could you talk about what someone from America has to do to open a mma/bjj gym in China and live there that way, and if you happen to know for Japan same question
Getting punched you have to choose to hit back unless you've trained hard enough to just feel it out and just know your punches are there.
I almost had the opposite with my first fight where i just went fight or flight and autopiloted to a win, definitely not upset about it but i dont particularly have much memory of the beginning of the fight because of it
I have my first fight in a month so this is good to know! Thanks coach.
hey man for how long did you train beforehand ?
how old are you?
I am 27 and ive started 3 month ago, im really into it i want to ask my coach if i can fight soonish like in 2-3 month i said to myself i want to train like 6 month before my 1st fight, do you think thats enough on amateur level?
@@richtigerkekko334 ooof six months is steep. If your talented you can do it, but I remember my skill at six months and I wasn’t nearly in fighting shape. I could probably win against an opponent especially if he’s trained for similar amount of time but you’ll probably get hurt doing it or lose by early stoppage. Might as well save yourself time and train for a year i think, especially since your an older competitor.
Hell, I've been in multiple fights and frozen in all but one of them. It's unfortunately just one of the human body's natural reactions out fight, flight, or freeze.
It's just difficult in this day and age where physical confrontation is rare.
I will say this. The first wrestling match I ever had I was fouled violently. Put things into perspective. I was dropped and scorpioned. Kicked myself in the back of the head because he dropped me and I went belly down. When it comes to slams any overhead slam the decent has to be controlled. This was anything but. He got a point removed. And I froze like a deer in the headlights. In general fights the first few times are shocking. But experience is the ultimate dissuader of shock.
Not everyone has this problem. I have never had this problem, when striking (I did when I started learning grappling) Every time I have been in an actual fight and gotten punched, I just get so angry i don't freeze. I tend to freeze in stupid non-stressful situations like when looking for my keys, I'll stand there dumbfounded and forget what I am doing, but when people are throwing fists I don't freeze. I am not saying I am a good fighter (i'm not), but I just haven't had this problem.
I have had this problem when grappling. I took my second BJJ class today and definitely froze a couple times while sparring. I'm going to have to train my way out of it.
6:14 "Psychological issues are heavily stigmatized..." so it's okay to get em! xD Just kidding mate, but it really did sound like it! For a second.
The only fight i ever got in i can't even remember it: i was attacked, my mind just switched out and at the end both me and my adversary were hurt. My friends told me what happened, i punched him and he punched me, it was total instinct, there was no technique or thinking.
It’s simple, grow up with brothers and boys in the early 90s.
Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face, it's so true
Everyone's plan ends when they Punch me in the face 😊
Good advice bro. Harnessing that adrenaline dump is key, for sure. 👏👌
If you think of it as a 2 gallon jug full of a finite amount of natural spacejuice, then u can aim to pour it out gradually over 3+ rounds, and use its positive effects throughout the fight...instead of guzzling the pitcher down in 30 seconds flat. 🤷♂️
I guess that's the benefit of being the oldest of six and the next being two years younger. We fought so hard I once knocked a dresser over with his head for biting me. I don't even remember the first time I was hit, maybe even the first thousand. I never really experienced shock or froze, but that was probably out of the way at a very young age.
I want your voice to narrate my life.
Ya I’m Scared to train again for some reason anyone have any tips to overcome this?
I started practicing kickboxing early January and almost 4 months later I still can't do on sparring what I have in mind to do, let alone in the stress of the moment in a stupid street fight with 0 experience. Fights are incredibly unpredictable, and you are fighting another human being, that also has a will and thoughts, I think that many times people on the internet forget that other humans are not npcs, they aren't dolls, they will definitely fight back and not give u time to plan shit, you can't think about this kinds of things one sided.
Fight, flight or freeze. Natural reactions but not always helpful.
First time we got shot at i froze.
My commander came and slapped me hard.
That eas my first reaction for a real life threatening situation.
Avoiding what frightens us reinforces our fear. Avoidance is not the answer. You don’t learn to swim in your living room.Violence has always frightened me. So one day I decided to be a bouncer in discos.
And, little by little, I learned to swim (the first thing we learn, is if the other impresses you, you impress him too: from then on you stop being paralyzed).
👊🙏👊
PS: let me be clear: I still abhor violence. And I don’t recommend this way... do some sports... yes, "get out there and train!"
Bouncers were my main target when I was a kid. I remember snapping ones knee totally the other way😇 you don't like it more than me.
@@HarryTzianakisTheGodOfSpeed I’ve been a target for 25 years...
@@bernarddato3221 most of you guys look to hurt people. Some of you were good guys but 90% total assholes
Man I would love to have my first kickboxing fight soon but shit like this makes question what's gonna happen