I'm a Korean adoptee and can completely empathize with her. I gave birth to my daughter and just cried and cried thinking about how my biological mother must have felt. Thank you for doing this and shedding light on what we have to go through in order to get answers!
I have so much sympathy for this woman. I'm Korean and understand the social mores, the backward patriarchy enshrined in parts of the law, stigmatization of single mothers, obsession with ethnic homogeneity, honour and shame culture. Even in this cultural context, the biological family's behaviour is inexcusable. The facts have already been established by a DNA test, they cannot change this, yet still deny her any closure or acknowledgement. They sound like a very cold and unfeeling family. It must be so painful to go through. Kara seems like a remarkably articulate, intelligent and balanced person. I'm pleased she was raised in a loving family
From the factors that the bio father 1. appeared with two bodyguards(by having taken the communication opportunity as a threat) in the first time meeting, 2. cared about maintaining his own social role image rather than trying to connect with his own biological daughter and get to know her truly as a person and how her life had been 3. lacked in empathy for the loneliness, yearning for her own parents, and agony she had to bear. 4. being unable to identify the other (ie. his own daughter)'s emotional needs as Kara desperately wanted to know her mother's name. 5. did not apologise for the consequences he had caused in Kara's life. The biological father comes across having Narcissistic Personality Disorder symptoms. I deeply empathise with Kara for the depair she has been coping with...
I am Korean living in USA, and I agree with what you are saying, and I would do exactly same as you have done with your biological mother but, liberating them might be challenging wish unless south Korea removes foreign power occupation of neocolonialism (this wish is almost impossible but never know), lots of Korean adults have PTSD syndrome from war USA created. Korea has to hand it over their half of annual GDP to USA bank for fraction of return payments to people, 40 % of their budget goes to national defense, only 2 % goes to social welfare, tax is highest in the world, birth rate is lowest in the world because it's unaffordable to raise any children....... how it affects top to down, social, financial affects to average people, psychological effect, ...... there are a lot more going on than meets the eye. some Korean mothers have tendency to think that they own their children including some other things you mentioned. I had that with my own mother. my mother went through a lot, including Korean war. I myself was separated from my two children on and off, when they were 5 months and 3 years old, for 20 yeas and I didn't know such suffering existed. I became cold at them emotionally including to myself, we all suffer but I will give my life and die for them within second. When there is dangerous loud impact around you, people automatically shrink down for self-protection with fear. The harder it gets, people become more conservative and protects themselves with shells. Sorry my English is not good, but I tried little. wishing you the best.
I cried hearing this story. How cruel her birth father and his family is!! I completely understand her quest to find her mother. She was abandoned in a car park at 2 years old. Of course when she became a mother herself and realised the bond you have with a 2 year old, it must have been so painful and triggering thinking of her mother leaving her in that car park. In order to make peace with it her father should have been forced to reveal her mother. Its just evil. I hope she finds her mom ❤❤
Seeing that her father is in his mid 80s, it is likely she was a product of adultery. Most men in that generation married early to bring forth children to carry on the family name. That may be the source of shame and denial on his part as well as his extended family who surround him because that will taint their family name. The Confucian dogma that leaves on in the Korean society puts their family name and honor above any one individual’s pain and suffering. I hope she receives the information she seeks and an apology from this man.
Excuses. excuses. NO MATTER WHAT THE CULTURE SAYS, there is such a thing called conscience. Even during the Holocaust, some German citizens helped and protected Jewish people's lives.
I feel that the media should start to change the mind set of the Korean people's approach towards adoptees. There is no shame to giving up a child for a chance to have to live a life through adoption.
100%. The fact that Korean society , as economically prosperous they are, where they are taking in millions of refugees, are STILL SHIPPING babies overseas, says A LOT ABOUT THEIR UNCHANGED VIEWS TOWARDS adoptions.
I hope she finds her bio mother soon. If her biological father is 85 yrs old, her biological mother could be around his age or a little younger, which is still elderly. I think her biological father is ashamed of having a child out of wedlock or perhaps mistress, which is a HUGE no no but this woman deserves the truth.
The fact that Korean society, as economically prosperous it is, where they are accepting millions of refugees, are STILL SHIPPING Korean babies overseas, says A LOT ABOUT THEIR UNCHANGED VIEWS TOWARDS adoptions. Their lack of ethics needs to be reviewed.
I believe that her father is a very Rich man and his family maybe thought that by allowing her I to the family, something might belong to her. His extended family saw it as a threat and Walter her out the way.
Not all biological parents can give you absolute love. In some cases, a biological parents may be worse off than others, and adoptive parents may be far better than their biological ones. It may be a way of life to accept your parents as they are without being too obsessed with them.
I think that her adoptive parents love her. I believe that her adoptive parents are her REAL parents. I believe that her biological father doesn't want to see her. It would be better for her to stop trying to see her biological father or to speak with her biological father again. I must have been a trauma for her to know that she was abandoned as a child. And, now she is having a new trauma because she wants to see a father who doesn't love her and who doesn't want to see her again. If her mother abandoned her maybe it was because she rejected her. I believe Kara Bos is a lovely woman and she should stop begging for love. She has the love of her adoptive parents and that is the only thing that is important. She should forget about her biological family because it traumatizes her. Every time she feels rejected she suffers. She should enjoy life, enjoy her REAL FAMILY (her adoptive parents, husband and children). Life is too short to waste it trying to find someone who doesn't want to see you neither love you. Many people love her. her adoptive parents, her husband, her children. She should start living the present and stop thinking about the past and the biological family who abandoned her.
You'll never understand. Roots are ROOTS. Maternal love is MATERNAL love. The 'why' and the 'how' of one's existence is extremely important. People who are not adoptees shouldn't air their opinions here. Adoptive parents are in another category.
Hey, don't let anyone say what you said was wrong. People need to learn to appreciate what they have. Just seems ungrateful to me. Imagine gatekeeping having a differing opinion by saying you need to be literally adopted to understand.
@@TheAggroShowChris The act of longing and the basic right of knowing does not inherently exclude the concept of gratefulness. One can be grateful and appreciate what they have, while still needing to fulfill that longing. I think that the commenters above are trying to say that nonadoptees simply cannot understand, not that they can't empathize or try. But that there is a level of nuance that the adoptee experience entails that just makes it really hard, nearly impossible, at least to the extent that the adoptee feels. It's like how a person who can walk may not truly ever understand the plight of disabled people. There is just too much nuance in that experience. I as an adoptee do appreciate nonadoptees who try to empathize though.
Really, you didn’t expect this much attention. No you knew you’ll get this much attention. If you’re dad or his family didn’t want to meet you. You should understand and move on. You said you were happy with your adoptee family then be happy with them. You just wanted the attention.
I'm a Korean adoptee and can completely empathize with her. I gave birth to my daughter and just cried and cried thinking about how my biological mother must have felt. Thank you for doing this and shedding light on what we have to go through in order to get answers!
I have so much sympathy for this woman. I'm Korean and understand the social mores, the backward patriarchy enshrined in parts of the law, stigmatization of single mothers, obsession with ethnic homogeneity, honour and shame culture. Even in this cultural context, the biological family's behaviour is inexcusable. The facts have already been established by a DNA test, they cannot change this, yet still deny her any closure or acknowledgement. They sound like a very cold and unfeeling family. It must be so painful to go through. Kara seems like a remarkably articulate, intelligent and balanced person. I'm pleased she was raised in a loving family
Excellent !
From the factors that the bio father 1. appeared with two bodyguards(by having taken the communication opportunity as a threat) in the first time meeting,
2. cared about maintaining his own social role image rather than trying to connect with his own biological daughter and get to know her truly as a person and how her life had been
3. lacked in empathy for the loneliness, yearning for her own parents, and agony she had to bear.
4. being unable to identify the other (ie. his own daughter)'s emotional needs as Kara desperately wanted to know her mother's name.
5. did not apologise for the consequences he had caused in Kara's life.
The biological father comes across having Narcissistic Personality Disorder symptoms.
I deeply empathise with Kara for the depair she has been coping with...
I am Korean living in USA, and I agree with what you are saying, and I would do exactly same as you have done with your biological mother but, liberating them might be challenging wish unless south Korea removes foreign power occupation of neocolonialism (this wish is almost impossible but never know), lots of Korean adults have PTSD syndrome from war USA created.
Korea has to hand it over their half of annual GDP to USA bank for fraction of return payments to people,
40 % of their budget goes to national defense,
only 2 % goes to social welfare,
tax is highest in the world,
birth rate is lowest in the world because it's unaffordable to raise any children....... how it affects top to down, social, financial affects to average people, psychological effect, ...... there are a lot more going on than meets the eye.
some Korean mothers have tendency to think that they own their children including some other things you mentioned. I had that with my own mother. my mother went through a lot, including Korean war.
I myself was separated from my two children on and off, when they were 5 months and 3 years old, for 20 yeas and I didn't know such suffering existed. I became cold at them emotionally including to myself, we all suffer but I will give my life and die for them within second.
When there is dangerous loud impact around you, people automatically shrink down for self-protection with fear. The harder it gets, people become more conservative and protects themselves with shells.
Sorry my English is not good, but I tried little.
wishing you the best.
My heart goes out to her. Please, selfish father, HELP your daughter.
He's dead. He died within 8 months of their meeting.
@@jellybellyfun3288 thanks for the update.
I cried hearing this story. How cruel her birth father and his family is!! I completely understand her quest to find her mother. She was abandoned in a car park at 2 years old. Of course when she became a mother herself and realised the bond you have with a 2 year old, it must have been so painful and triggering thinking of her mother leaving her in that car park. In order to make peace with it her father should have been forced to reveal her mother. Its just evil. I hope she finds her mom ❤❤
Seeing that her father is in his mid 80s, it is likely she was a product of adultery. Most men in that generation married early to bring forth children to carry on the family name. That may be the source of shame and denial on his part as well as his extended family who surround him because that will taint their family name. The Confucian dogma that leaves on in the Korean society puts their family name and honor above any one individual’s pain and suffering. I hope she receives the information she seeks and an apology from this man.
Excuses. excuses. NO MATTER WHAT THE CULTURE SAYS, there is such a thing called conscience. Even during the Holocaust, some German citizens helped and protected Jewish people's lives.
I feel that the media should start to change the mind set of the Korean people's approach towards adoptees. There is no shame to giving up a child for a chance to have to live a life through adoption.
100%. The fact that Korean society , as economically prosperous they are, where they are taking in millions of refugees, are STILL SHIPPING babies overseas, says A LOT ABOUT THEIR UNCHANGED VIEWS TOWARDS adoptions.
Thanks Kara! Takes so much courage to do this 🥰 💔
I hope she finds her bio mother soon. If her biological father is 85 yrs old, her biological mother could be around his age or a little younger, which is still elderly. I think her biological father is ashamed of having a child out of wedlock or perhaps mistress, which is a HUGE no no but this woman deserves the truth.
The fact that Korean society, as economically prosperous it is, where they are accepting millions of refugees, are STILL SHIPPING Korean babies overseas, says A LOT ABOUT THEIR UNCHANGED VIEWS TOWARDS adoptions. Their lack of ethics needs to be reviewed.
🥺❤
I believe that her father is a very Rich man and his family maybe thought that by allowing her I to the family, something might belong to her. His extended family saw it as a threat and Walter her out the way.
I hope she found her mom.
this is not a "landmark" ruling nor did it set "precedent" as other adoptees have used the Family Court and DNA to prove relation.
Don’t have to be so rude 😑
@@VeryMelodic not being rude, stating facts. The media and journalist who have been reporting on this matter have failed to do their due diligence.
Not all biological parents can give you absolute love. In some cases, a biological parents may be worse off than others, and adoptive parents may be far better than their biological ones. It may be a way of life to accept your parents as they are without being too obsessed with them.
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I think that her adoptive parents love her. I believe that her adoptive parents are her REAL parents. I believe that her biological father doesn't want to see her. It would be better for her to stop trying to see her biological father or to speak with her biological father again. I must have been a trauma for her to know that she was abandoned as a child. And, now she is having a new trauma because she wants to see a father who doesn't love her and who doesn't want to see her again. If her mother abandoned her maybe it was because she rejected her. I believe Kara Bos is a lovely woman and she should stop begging for love. She has the love of her adoptive parents and that is the only thing that is important. She should forget about her biological family because it traumatizes her. Every time she feels rejected she suffers. She should enjoy life, enjoy her REAL FAMILY (her adoptive parents, husband and children). Life is too short to waste it trying to find someone who doesn't want to see you neither love you. Many people love her. her adoptive parents, her husband, her children. She should start living the present and stop thinking about the past and the biological family who abandoned her.
You'll never understand. Roots are ROOTS. Maternal love is MATERNAL love. The 'why' and the 'how' of one's existence is extremely important. People who are not adoptees shouldn't air their opinions here. Adoptive parents are in another category.
Mia Vos as an adoptee, I agree full heartedly :/ non-adoptees don’t really understand these feelings or things to the extent we do
Hey, don't let anyone say what you said was wrong. People need to learn to appreciate what they have. Just seems ungrateful to me. Imagine gatekeeping having a differing opinion by saying you need to be literally adopted to understand.
@@TheAggroShowChris The act of longing and the basic right of knowing does not inherently exclude the concept of gratefulness. One can be grateful and appreciate what they have, while still needing to fulfill that longing. I think that the commenters above are trying to say that nonadoptees simply cannot understand, not that they can't empathize or try. But that there is a level of nuance that the adoptee experience entails that just makes it really hard, nearly impossible, at least to the extent that the adoptee feels. It's like how a person who can walk may not truly ever understand the plight of disabled people. There is just too much nuance in that experience. I as an adoptee do appreciate nonadoptees who try to empathize though.
@@miavos3610 well said
Really, you didn’t expect this much attention. No you knew you’ll get this much attention. If you’re dad or his family didn’t want to meet you. You should understand and move on. You said you were happy with your adoptee family then be happy with them. You just wanted the attention.
You can see why your mom gave you up if he was told about you in a nice way