I'm a Socially Anxious Person
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- Опубликовано: 29 июн 2024
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I too panic, one on one, I over talk which gets me frustrated with myself. I get nervous or excitable.
I get anxious around people too, It started when I had a bad weed trip. I would be in the cafeteria eating and people around me were laughing, I thought they were laughing at me. I even feel anxious going to family gatherings, we sit down to a meal at dinner and I want to say something, but I over think it and I can't say it out of fear of how I will sound, what they will think of me etc. I take meds for my anxiety now.
God bless you Kenny. I do relate to this video. Some of the things I struggle with are :
Getting on a plane full of people. Walking into a crowded room. Getting onto the tube. Eating alone in a cafe or restaurant, walking in the street passing people, going swimming due to my body and not feeling good about my size. Just some of the things I worry over, and the gym deffo a no no for me
I never used to be when I was young I had balls of steel lol I’m 38 now it’s getting worse every yeAr I get older I had a lot of fun growing up I would love to relive my life again I absolutely loved it sometimes I wonder if I really do exist lol
I feel for you kenny.....and I truly thank you for Sharing.
I an feel lonelier in a crowd than I ever do at home , alone.
I was a very shy child and puberty was bleak for me , so didn't help me blossom. Now as an OAP I really dislike having to ask people to do me favours , but what is more absurd I also dread asking trades people etc to come and do things to the house. As for making complaints to the same ...... I really liked my career in farming , because the farm put a distance between me and other people , for the most part.
Why do you want to try to talk to people when you don't want to?
If you don't want to talk to people; then, don't.
You are trying to be someone you are not.
You and I are an introverts. The sooner you accept the reality the better you are going to feel.
I never understood my sister, who loves to travel around the world by herself, completely alone, and she loves it. She is at another level of being introvert. But you know something? She is happy. She is independent, super smart with a strong personality.
Being an introvert is not a bad thing.
Very well said Sonia
I think a lot of people like us just haven’t accepted this type of life. I use to fear the feeling of loneliness, hated it! One other thing is if you go online your going to be bombarded with so many people showing there happy full of life, lots of friends, good times etc. what they don’t show is when they have a bad day. Which always happens to everybody.
I have exotropia .social anxiety has affected me because of the intensity I feel. It's so heavy that at times helplessness, hopelessness, takes over my upward growth and I stall mid way. And go into hermit mode for months. It's in control now, if I'm isolated then I learn new things , currently delved into selve improvement- it's the only way running from what I am takes me somewhere good. But before I was so scared of going out or being in front of people I used to be at home listening to music lying down on bed for hours. I think that we get anxious because there are nuances which are missing in our Concious mind and the only dots left are the bigger one. To connect these bigger dots feels odd and maybe we made unhealthy correlation which made us feel insecure. The most precious/important thing in the social behaviour of a person is the sense of security(learn how this works).
The people with the greatest gifts and potential in life can suffer the most socially. So don’t judge yourself for these struggles. It’s bad enough experiencing them. I think in society we need to make a lot of progress socially and culturally? There is so much avoidable suffering.
Hi Kenny, being socially anxious for a lot of years, what I struggled with most was not understanding what people wanted. Some people have had social skills come easily to them. And like I'm sure others can relate, I was thinking about it more, consciously trying to improve, reading books and RUclips videos of it. For lots of years. I just wanted to have good results with people, and it was so frustrating to say the least, to not have it.
When I looked back, I found that the fear of not knowing what people are looking for is what caused a lot of my behaviors. Such as the sitting down at lunch example you gave, for me I would avoid that, because most people eventually will strike up some conversation with each other. So, it becomes something to avoid. The same goes with things like questioning ourselves I think, it's like a long ongoing experiment, based on not knowing what people want when interacting with other people. People can talk about inner confidence that has its place, but there's also much to be said about not getting the results with people that you want. And that's not all in our heads, right? I'd seen plenty of real examples of being excluded by other people and many other similar things over the years. So, my point is that there are real factors why we do these things we do, they're not all in our head, or inner beliefs and so forth. And it explains some things how we're thinking and acting around other people. And what I commented about last time has cleared up much of that problem for me. And looking back now, I don't question most things in my head in the ways that I used to, and my behaviors are pretty different now too🙂.
Hello.i have severe social anxiety...it is so terrible and I feel embarrassed but there are days where I wait til dark to check my mail box or I'll go without food items cause I have this anxiety about people at shops etc etc
Don't think I have social anxiety per se (maybe antisocial anxiety!), but I am socially inept. I can never think of anything to say in social situations as I don't do anything worth talking about. And my "autopilot" governing when to look at somebody and when to look away (which I think is handled subconsciously in most people) is kaput, so I have to "fly on manual" which can appear a bit creepy.
Went to an interactive theatrical performance last year (with all my friends:-ie. on my own), which in theory I should have enjoyed, but in practice I couldn't wait to get out of there, because you were expected to ....you know.....talk to people! Yikes!!!. Unlike you I don't generally have a problem doing stuff in the presence of others, but it can be a problem if it's on my own turf so to speak. I had some guys putting new windows in my house last year-every room- and there was nowhere to hide. I generally do lots of nothing, and I don't want to do that in public.
I think you're right that people aren't really thinking about you as much as you might feel they are. They live their own lives, not yours. But I guess these things are ruled by emotion, not logic, so knowing that they're not analysing and judging your every move probably won't help you to shake the feeling that they are. Someone with arachnophobia probably knows that the spiders they get in their locale can't hurt them, but that is unlikely to cure their arachnophobia.
Hi Kenny. Have a good day.
I will watch the full video this evening.
I agree. Caring too much about what other people think is at the root of this problem. I was always shy and introverted by nature. But the older I got, the less I seemed to care about what other people might think of me. (By the way, I'm a lot older than you are, so this took some time.) The less I worried about other people's judgement, the less socially anxious I became. We are who we are. If other people don't like us, oh well, you can't please everybody. You could be the nicest person in the world and you'll still rub some people the wrong way. I agree that not worrying so much about other people's judgement is the key to liberating oneself from debilitating social anxiety.
I think a good video idea would be you reacting to your first video or some of your other old ones
How about eye contact? I feel like maybe I freak everyone out with my eye contact thing, I even freak my self out with it lol. My dad always told me to make eye contact so I took it literally lol, and I think people feel uncomfortable around me. That’s really great you have a girlfriend, ism married with 3 children. My social anxiety is very strange. I feel like I can pick up on peoples vibe. Like I can usually tell a snakey person, anyone else? I would love talk more maybe we could do a zoom or FaceTime, lol just what I hate lol, no but i would love to get someone s thoughts on these issues. Iam currently on lexapro and been on it for over 20 years😢. Kenny how old are you? You seem very young lol (that’s a compliment) any way there’s so much I want to say. I will be back, Iam at work right now, you all have a good rest of the day!
INFJ?
Do you have a video on how you got a girlfriend?
First 😌