“They can’t even afford to buy it in my area so their will and assets don’t really matter to me” Good thing his parents are doctors because that burn needs some serious medical aid asap.
@@Martial_Autist It's really disappointing that they're spamming other Reddit channels with advertising for their own, I actually like that they have a real narrator (as opposed to a computerized voice) so often listen to that channel, but their behavior is unacceptable & making me not want to support them 😕 I'm going to dislike any video I see an ad for.
Yeah this one is a total fabrication. Yeah I wasn't going to be a doctor nor goto college and went into acting. As an actor with no financial qualifications a bank hired me to be an investment banker which normally need one to be a college graduate and attend 2 years of specialized training after that, plus then work as an underling for 2-4 years before moving up the ladder if I show good progress. I did none of that at all and just went from man off the street to investment banker. Um right that seems totally plausible.
Story 3: OP should move out and divorce her AH husband. She is being treated like a slave in a home of 3 other adults. OP NTA. The other 3 adults are all AHs.
@ASK GIRL It is incredibly disrespectful to spam other Reddit channels with ads for your own. I actually listen to your channel & participate in the comments there, & this is making me & many others not want to continue supporting you. Please stop spamming. I will dislike any video I find an ad for.
Lol, I'd have straight up made up an excuse to leave the house for a week to let those three f*ers figure out how to clean a goddamn house! She has to clean up her BIL's pee? FFS. Next they're gonna make her change the diapers too! I'd divorce over something like that.
Everyone keeps saying the mother might have dementia because of her attitude towards the adopted kids. I tend to believe she had these thoughts long ago. The mother said her husband wouldn't want anything to go to the adopted kids in favor of bio- kids. The parents have always been a-holes but kept it hidden so they'd get the financial help they needed.
Or it could also be that she did actually adored and loved OP´s children but knew her husband was big on blood ties and knew he wouldn´t accept the adopted children. So she doting OP´s children was genuine but deep down, she also sort of felt like she was betraying her husband (or his memory) by accepting the children when she knew he wouldn´t do that. I kinda think it was more plausible than keeping a flawless act for a decade without slipping up.
Nah I am almost certain that the Grandma had these thoughts the entire time. That it would be fun to do it on cute kids, but when it comes to money, they would not support "someone else's kids," it is actually really huge and some Asian cultures especially, and that's why there's such huge rates of kids not being adopted inside their home countries. Just seeing is it complete burden that should pay back their adopted parents for the rest of their lives. Heck, some biological female children or even seen as burdens and money waste
Dude! It's almost as if people have forgotten that some people lie! I have so many family members I don't like and my parents get shocked when I mention it bc they're like 'but you're always so friendly!' Yeah, I'm faking it bc we're at a social event, duh. Based on my behaviour alone, I could easily see someone else doing this (the grandmother) to other people she doesn't like (the "fake" grandkids).
It is really common for people with brain injuries to have complete changes in personality, thoughts, and feelings. People have gone from pacifist vegans to violent human killers after a brain injury, and dementia is a brain injury. That said, they shouldn't assume it's dementia, they should go with a doctor and get a diagnosis before giving her a free pass for saying and thinking such evil things.
Ewww, wtf is with the pregnant lady? How entitled do you have to be to tell someone else to clean after your husband? People please learn to say no to unreasonable requests coming from pregnant women. I'm pregnant myself and I clean after my own damn self, after my husband and my kid. Absolutely disgusting behaviour coming form pregnant women, as if they are doing something out of this world and they are the only ones pregnant.
First story reminds me so much of my grandma. My grandma who has said many times, how her children abandoned her, because my uncles live in Brazil. But the thing is, my mom has always been here for her. She is the one who calls her everyday, who visits her once a week, who takes care of her when she is sick. And it breaks my heart, that my mom never gets the recognition she deserves.
I remember the day my grandmother told me that my aunt was a thief and a liar. I didn't know she got alzheimer, and it was really weird. There is a chance that story 1 old woman have some kind of dementia
@@pepemontoliuanton4470 I never knew dementia or other memory diseases could cause a person to completely change personality or make up things/accuse people they're supposed to love/care for of terrible things, or do terrible things (like this OP's mother) themselves. That is incredibly sad.
@@KyrieChii It was not about a change in her personality. Dementia is not just losing memory, confusion, paranoia, and some more issues could come with it.
Story 3: NTA. Please kick everyone out your house. I am confused why there would be pee on the toilet seat when men should be lifting the seat, but I digress. If the two grown men in the household aim in 20+ years, the two grown men should be cleaning after using the toilet. This is just proper etiquette on a daily basis for anyone. Make a mess, clean it. The fact that three grown adults are treating OP as a maid...OP needs to either remove them from the situation or remove herself.
OP is such a doormat. BIL pees all over? BIL cleans his mess. I've been with husband for 15 yrs and I have never greeted with pee on toilet seat or floor in front of toilet seat.
I could understand accidentally dribbling on the floor or seat if you are drunk or half asleep, but why isn't he cleaning it up? That's disgusting. No one wants to sit in someone else's bodily fluids or other matter.
Story 1: I had a similar experience with my grandmother. My mother and I were the ones to spend every holiday visiting and helping out with whatever she needed, yet even on her death bed, she was calling out for her bio grandchildren, even though they haven't seen each other in 30 years and can't speak the same language.
People on their deathbeds usually want to see as many of their family members as possible. It's their last chance after all. That's not real ungratefulness. But I suppose only dying and empathic people can fully comprehend this wish.
@@Gaia_Seraphina Sure, minimize my 33 year experience as something "only dying and empathic people can fully comprehend" when you only have one short paragraph to judge our relationship.
@@NotQuiteUseful I'm pretty sure that you were never dying. And if you had more empathy you wouldn't belittle elderly people - who are about to die - wanting to see family members they haven't seen in a long time. Cuz you simply cannot grasp, that people seeing their death coming soon, think differently than people who are alive and well. Hardly anyone of dying ones want to hold on to grudges or stay small-minded. It's pointless and they recognize that. And you? Those few words were enough to tell me that you don't. On your own deathbed you will. Farewell! PS: I'm much older than you by the way, said goodbye to a few family members. Therefore I can say that you should respect the last wishes of dying people, esp. if they are family. But maybe that's my polish mentality.
Wanting as much family present and ignoring family for the biological ones who never were around are two very different things and as somone who has seen a person on their deathbed, no that isn't universally the case. Not everyone dies feeling the same. You can absolutely be ungrateful on your own deathbed if you actively ignore everyone who has helped and cared for you to whine about people you weren't close to for years... I don't care how old you are that doesn't give you the magical ability to know what all dying people want and intend to say...
@@leonbelmont4028 As a kid, she was psychologically and emotionally abusive with a light dash of physical abuse in the form of using a belt, flyswat, stick, ect to hit me. The later being common place in a lot of households. When I was 15, my dad (also an asshole) was murdered and I'm like 90% sure she did it or hired someone to do it. There was never any proof though. As an adult, I joined the army just to get away from her. Then, when I finally found a girlfriend (now my wife), my mother went behind my back to my only friend and tried to get them to put a wedge between the two of us. She denied ever attempting that, which I knew was a lie. In between all of that were a 1000 other little stories I could tell. I also had a younger brother whom she treated waaaaay better than me. Haven't seen him in 20 years either. Fuck em both.
Story 1: Your dad's hard eared money?! Wtf? Well, guess what you don't have to do with *your* hard earned money anymore. Talk about not just biting but trying to take the arm that feeds you. Smh.
The second op has no obligation to support his parents when they didn't support him and i hate when people use culture/religion as a reason to abuse their children.
Exactly. Yes Indian parents might be strict but they aren't all as the OP described. But sadly there are a lot of parents globally who behave like that.
Story 2: OP sounds like he's enjoying his parents' shock at his success just a little too much and I am totally here for it! Good for him. Hope he continues to live his life the way he wants and enjoys every single second of it.
I have a few grandchildren who are not blood but I would never treat them any different. I really do love them all the same and I say you can never have to many grandparents. I feel so blessed . 🙌
I am reminded of a greeting card I saw decades ago. It had a cartoon of a woman holding a toilet brush as she said, Ladies, if you make your husband clean the toilet, [open the card] his aim improves immediately!
When OP said that the things she said were out of character for their mother, the thought of dementia crossed my mind too. My mother had dementia, and you'd be surprised how much a person's personality can change. It broke my heart to see the changes that occurred. My once loving mother became a hateful angry person. Psychiatrists say that what happened is quite common with dementia.
To tell you the truth, I don't think it changes a person's personality as much as it removes the socially accepted veneer. She was always this person, deep down. Dementia just removes the filter.
@@athenastewart9167 That is so not true. Dementia damages the brain. The doctors were able to see physical atrophy in my mother's brain scan. Damage to the brain is like damage to any other organ. It changes how that organ functions. Damage to the brain shows up as changes in the personality. What you are doing is victim blaming.
Thank you to those who were kind enough to educate me on the ravages of dementia. You inspired me to do my own reading on the matter. To the one person who was negative, pound sand.
Op if you're brother in law can't aim. Tell him to sit down. Also give your in laws 30 days to find a place. That also goes for your husband. As for sister in law say cry me a river and build me a bridge. It's time for you clean it yourself. Her throwing up is for show, how I know? My sister try the same bs manipulation. So hold your guns op.
You know, a good wife and sil would've clean that toilet until it shined like a diamond. OMG I am sorry but I can't help laughing at this. I have three sisters and if I asked any of them to do this my ears would still be bleeding. What is wrong with her husband, I don't think they are going to be married much longer.
Story 1: OP's mom is being unfair. OP's mom is also being ungrateful for all the things OP does for her, including supporting her financially. So this about adopted children. This was sad for OP. Mom takes OP's money but is completely ungrateful. What she is actually planning is to transfer money OP has given to maintain the house and support the mother to his sister because she does not love OP's adopted children. Heartbreaking. NTA for stopping support of mother. Mother selling house she cannot afford to keep up is the best solution. Mother should be using her estate, the money from house sale, to support herself from now on.
I suspected that, to be truthful. Another one about a offspring in an Indian family who was kicked out and rejected for 17 years until parents found out he owned a $20M house and suddenly declared they were moving in with OP. He said no and they rejected him again. I suspected he had a male partner. That would have really annoyed his parents. So it is just as well they are no contact with him too after he said they could NOT live with him. He suggested they live with his brother, the golden child, who was a surgeon. (OP, unknown to his parents, turned out to be an investment banker.) This set of parents had plenty of money; not enough for a $20M house but they were not hurting financially and had zero excuse for living with any of there 3 children. So glad that OP was secure enough psychologically to not be taken in by his parents garbage.
OPs mom was playing him from day one. She let her wealthy child pay for everything knowing she was never going to leave “those” children anything. I suspect his mother was always this bad he just never saw it because she kept it well hidden.
Story 1, you're not an ATM, and since you clearly aren't getting an inheritance, your sister can pay all of the repairs and maintenance. Since she is getting the house, she can put the money down for it. Good on OP for no longer funding her retirement. She was deceiving OP, all so she could get money for her retirement. Let her deal with the consequences of that.
Last story is so gross in so many ways. How embarrassed would I feel if I had to ask another wife to clean after my husband bc my husband is too much of a child to practice proper bathroom hygiene. Like wtf. And the audacity of op husband like are you kidding me??? Oh I’d be out that door so fast. Thank god my husband and our siblings would never do this to one another or we all have backbones enough to stand up for ourselves/each other.
Seriously! How TF do you become an adult & still pull shit like that? And how humiliating should it be for that man that others have to go behind him. That needs to stop, like, yesterday.
@@KyrieChii It never should have begun in the first place. OP should have stood up for herself from the jump and refused to clean up the pee of grown men. I would have told them to clean up after themselves or THEY would be the ones cleaning the SIL's barf.
For that last story, I have to say I'm germaphobic, too, BUT, it doesn't stop me from cleaning. It makes it harder, and requires me to find products (like gloves) that make me feel better about it, but it doesn't make it impossible. Would OP's husband just let all the filth pile up if he was alone (which, if he doesn't change his attitude ASAP, he will be)? There is NO reason the other three adults in the house can't clean the toilet - I mean, if SIL really does vomit every time she sees something dirty because she's pregnant, why aren't the other two grown-up men at least doing their share? It's very, VERY basic to clean up after yourself if you make a mess in that particular room - why would you even risk that someone might see a bathroom mess? Just yikes.
Yup; cleaning with germophobia may mean investing in gloves and a mask, but it's still entirely possible. And the BIL has even less excuse, especially since he's the one who apparently can't find the toilet bowl with both hands and a map.
If piss on a toilet seat is traumatic, the first load of poo (or shooting pee stream if a baby boy), will be too much for them. She needs to get out of that situation ASAP because she will be the only one on diaper duty (as well as cleaning up for the "adults").
It's funny how the spoiled former "golden child" ( my uncle ) treated grandmother rather poorly when she was old and sick while the "insolent daughter" ( my mom ) cared for her most at that time. I mean, my uncle baught her the cheapest food, wanted to split her medical bills ( despite him living as a *freeloader* in grandma's house while my mom rents an apartment ) and he never bathed her.
This is quite normal: when one spoil a child too much, they grow with a sense of entitlement and they become selfish, heartless which make it impossible for them to take care of anybody else (even their own parents) while those who have been put aside seek the love and approbation of their parents. It is sad for the second part though. The fact that the golden child is a boy and the "insolent" one is a girl is also typical 🙄
Why do people allow others to walk all over them? This entire world is turning into either victims or bullies. What happened to normal people, setting normal boundaries and enforcing them?
Honestly I don’t think the woman has dementia, she probably kept her thoughts to herself because op and his wife payed for her. Also I wouldn’t doubt his sister has similar feelings, I mean she went crying to her mom when op told her to make the repairs on the house she would inherit.
How awesome. Literally calling every month for 2000 and demanding taking care of house expenses but saying the kids kids are adopted so they're not family. Thats awful. Just awful.
As a single mum with OCD I did indeed scrub my own toilet when pregnant. I even had to move house on my own and I was the size of a freaking whale! Lol (I picked a furnished house so there was no dangerously heavy stuff to move and no risk to baby). This is the sort of stuff that mums all around the world are doing, so I can safely say that unless she has medical conditions or is high risk then she can definately clean a toilet! The level of entitlement absolutely stuns me.
I lived in a shelter high risk pregnancy still had chores...baby born via c section still had chores and had to move a week later busted my stitches but I'm still here.
Story 1: Real Grandkids? My family has been adopted and biological in every generation for the past 5. If ANYONE tries to say the adopted ones aren't REALLY family, they catch hands. Period.
My step dad's mom was like that. No matter what my brothers and I did for her and her home we weren't considered family by her. She made it very obvious with how she acted she didn't think of us as family. She especially made sure I knew that. Especially when she would body shame me even though she was 5x my size. 🤷♀️
before my grandmother went down hill we had a birthday party for her and took family photos when they said great grand kids. we all could see my cousins step daughter was unsure what she should do only been a part of the family a few years at that point but the whole extended family told her she was a great grandchild to so get in there with the others great grandkids.
I "like" how in the last story, *everyone* tells OP about how "it's not a big deal!" and "stop being childish" when NONE of the other adults can: 1: Use the toilet without pissing all over it like toddlers. 2: Clean up after themselves. Heck, at this point I wonder if they even wipe. Yet, as many pointed out: "How would you like to be treated like this?". OP IS being "treated like this", AND: Would NOT get ANY support if she was in those shoes. So, it's a rather baffling situation. It's a bit like asking the scapegoat how they'd feel if they didn't give up everything to the golden child. Like... what?
I just wonder if op will also be expected to change every diaper and clean up all spit up and puke from the newborn if sister in law is still there after birth. My guess is that sensitive stomach of hers wont find cleaning a diaper blowout any easier than cleaning a pee stained seat
2000$ a month, no major expenses or rent? What? Not to dismiss the horrible behaviour of OP's family, that is straight up financial abuse, but he's being a huge, huge sucker. His poor wife - I'm sure she'd rather spent her money differently.
10:11 he is refering to desi parents. Usually Indians says that. I am from Bangladesh. We have similar cultures. And yes I agree with the guy. I was kind of lucky as my parents were not that strict but they are still strict as it's part of our culture. I can understand what the guy is feeling.
I think I am a desi kid (Indian), but my parents did not treat me that way. You parents are not good parents if they do not even have a vague Idea of what you do for a living. How are these people even doctors.
Story 3: I would never clean up regularly after another person that is capable of doing it themselves. If he can't aim, he needs to either sit down or clean 😂
If they don't get some goddamn disinfectant wipes and stop being difficult in the story 4. If they can't handle germs and pee right now they have no business having a kid.
Story two is another one of those situations where your parents say you’re not gonna do much in your life, but then years later you actually accomplish something. So yeah in your face to the parents. Can’t blame Op though, being a doctor is a tough profession.
People always want to look for a medical excuse to z use someone’s behavior. That is not dementia. She was calculating and planning this for a while. Some people are just assholes and you can’t make an excuse for that
Story #1 - NTA. After your mother is gone you will only have your sister as your remaining family. Having conflict with your sister is making both of you unhappy. Your mother's attitude is not going to change until she is in her grave. Ignore the money and the house as a source of contention with your sibling. Make peace with your sister first but stick with the decisions you have already made.
i hope down the road the sister from the 1st story actually reimburses her brother for at least some of the money he spent, in fact i hope the OP has all the receipts so he can sue the estate for repayment
She can't reimburse her because she has to sell it because op is not funding her anymore. Also they were doing it from their heart so there nothing to give back. I think Op is a lesbian, or from different ethnicity, that's why she said that her husband wouldn't approve of.
1st story, OP after everything that you have done for your mom, this is how she treats you, your wife and kids. Who cares if your kids are adopted, they are still your kids. If this is how she treats you then stop funding your mom's retirement. She is a grown adult. OP NTA
Here's another thing for story one if the house is worth that much I'd make sure I'd Sue to get back the amount of money you spent for it because that was worthless of a woman to do to someone I don't care if she's your mom you need to get your money back and give it to your kids
He can't have bio children. He's got no choice but to raise "somebody's kid" But sure yeah, he doesn't deserve his parents' money, but that doesn't mean his mother deserves his money since he can't give her bio grandchildren. That responsibly should have been his sister's alone from the beginning.
First story: sounds like the house needs constant repair, usually besides a new appliance you shouldn't be constantly replacing/repairing something. The house sounds like a money pit. It actually might end up harming the sister when she inherits something that is in constant disarray or will loose most of the inheritance trying to fix the house in able to sell it. Depending on how old and what health OP's mom is in, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get a home inspection to see just how bad off the house is. Also all three of you need to have the "what happens after mom dies" talk. All three of you are adults and need to rationally work things out. From experience the smaller the inheritance the more family fights over it, then lawyers eat it up. Don't let money and pride destroy the family.
While the first story made me gasp in shock, I'm genuinely really upset about that last one and really need an update. This isn't the only thing these people are doing to her, it can't be. It's honestly fucking scary how people can be so manipulative and entitled. I really hope she is in a position where she can leave and get away from the situation. She has a job so that's a good sign.
I'm the only responsible child in my family that has swallowed my pride enough to maintain a decent relationship with my parents. I help when I can and keep in contact with them despite the hell they put me through after my son died. I don't exactly know why I am being so kind. I know they will not leave me anything. I am their best child and still one of their biggest dissapoinments. Reason being I'm not the submissive pet they wanted me to be
The first story. Yeah my family has gone through that shit for about 30 years with grandparents. My dad's parents live next door. My parents paid for the food for them, cooked for them, repaired everything for them. Did everything. Well years ago we noticed food we purchased was being given to the "golden grand child". She was a prostitute. 3 kids, 3 daddies. About 3 or so abortions before that. She gets everything. Her kids get everything. My grandfather passed away last year. And before he passed he had said my brother(the only actual male heir) would get his guns, and knives and a train set he used to play with with my brother. Now supposidly its to go to my cousins kids. She did nothing for my grandmother for years except drop her kids off for 3+ months at a time and not come see them. My parents eventually just gave up. They no longer buy food to put in the house. We dont eat next door anymore at the table. If we send food over its 1 plate for her, thats it. Were not feeding anyone else. We don't put everything into her anymore. Its not worth it when we get treated lile crap. Her kids are royalty. Everyone else is a commoner. This includes for all holidays too. (Christmas she gives 100$ for the kids.) Thats suppose to be it. But one of her golden grandchildren got brand new 1000$ IPhone from her. Last i checked thats not 100$ for each child. That's just 1 example.
S3, Op the people who are staying in your home need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them ,and they can wipe down the toilets after every use as I do ,all it takes is a couple of sheets of toilet paper to wipe up any spills or stains and then you flush the toilet afterwards .NTA
People who say that OP should demand half a share of the inheritance in exchange for the upkeep of the house, need to realize that at any future point, mom could just change the will to give all to sister anyway, there's no way to hold someone to a particular will... if mom change the will after getting the money she wants from OP, there's nothing to be done. So OP should just stop paying money for the house, full stop. It's easy to see, that sister gonna get the house anyway, so just call defeat and tell sister it's up to her pay for the repair of the house, or anything else about the house, and walk away from it. As this case proved, mom was adamant that the house would go to daughter, and she seems to think OP owes his sister and her, just for being better off. So sad for OP about the reason. Hope he does better now.
Good God, saying step grandkids are like your own is NOT true in every case. My son married a woman with two nearly grown kids several years ago. I barely know these kids and certainly in no way consider them my grandchildren.
The sudden hostile attittude towards children that OP's mom normally dotes on definately reminded me of my MIL's sudden change towards my husband and my family. She was normally so very sweet and giving and kind but once she progressed in her dimentia she was another person entirely. She suddenly referred to us as "those people." We lived in a multi-family home with her on the second floor and my family on the first floor. My husband and I and the kids had lived there the entire length of our marriage and had always been treated warmly by both his parents but she had changed to this really angry snappy person. My daughter and her cousin would take care of their grandmother 24/7. They would feed, clean and care for her all day long switching up every couple of days to each young woman could get a little rest. But for some odd reason she was still sweet to my niece but really nasty to my daughter. So much so that, when her grandmother was in the hospital and they were still switching off spending time with her there to keep her calm and centered she would verbally abuse my daughter and in the last week my daughter had to tearfully give up her efforts to help a woman she loved to very much. She worried that we wouldn't support her but of course we did. I even suggested a kind way of telling her aunt that was supposed to be the main caretaker (but wasn't) that she would no longer be available to help out and why. It was strange and even my MIL"s younger sister saw that difference in her regarding us even though we have never done anything to her or given her a reason to view us with such disdain. If anything we did everything we could to make her know that we were there for her and help out and make her feel loved and included in whatever was going in in our family. It was heartbreaking that for some reason our family had been singled out.
It should have started when SIL and brother needed to move in. Humm... why? What's their plan? How does moving in with us not become permanent or long time? Why don't you just give them money instead?
@@BW022 yea and DEFINITELY an end date, like 3 months and still that’s too long for me. I hate people in my comfort space(my home) and then to think imma be a personal maid NO MAAM
@@Dira7411 3 month end dates don't make sense. Unless their house is being repaired or something, the only reason you are staying at someone else's house is you don't have money. That isn't going to change in 90 days... especially if you are pregnant. It gets worse. And of course if they are saving money living in your house... they have no reason not to continue it. Heck, in many places they could claim tenancy and it could take 30, 60, 90 days just to kick them out.
@@BW022 not my problem, they can find someone else to leave with for a little while… the only people I’ve had to move in with because I didn’t have a place to stay was back with my mom and a close cousin and even then I GAVE MYSELF 3 months just to not be a burden. I said a time frame because who would want to be a burden
Story 1: Wow I mean just WOW. Something must be wrong with the mom because no one who loves their children adopted or bio would say something like that unless they’ve lost their trust and disowned them.
The commenter who told the OP to stop using his wife as an ATM would, I bet, never have said that had the OP been a daughter with a doctor husband. But fortunately the OPs wife understands what marriage is about and that you take on a spouse and their family together with any responsibilities or obligations.
I understand perfectly the biological thing. BUT. Beggars can't be choosers. It stopped being her hubby's "hard earned cash" property after she needed OP's money to keep it. And some things are never said. Mommy probably really loves the kids (kids can tell these things) but she still prefers sis'. Second Story: "told you, you would not make it with that nonsense. How ARE you doing? Well, well, a banker. Not bad. A SERIOUS job at least. Since you know the market hereabouts, any suggestion where we can find a nice neighborhood bro can afford?" Anything else is just stupid and actually a humiliation.
"Oh, I want to help you with the ridiculous demands my family is imposing on you, but I don't like germs, so I guess you're the house slave, for them and for me."
Lmao @ the pregnant SIL. I'm not one to invalidate a person's pregnancy symptom because I've definitely been there. But lol she's pregnant, and nausea is par for the course sometimes so husband's sister getting sick is no earth-shattering issue that should cause a quarrel in the family. Next, she's pregnant, and that means she will be using bathrooms anywhere she can. Would she need OP to clean the bathroom at Walmart when she needs to go? At work? Restaurants? It's BS and they know it. Also, imagine being a grown man and peeing all over the seats in another person's house, with no decency to clean it up. And why is SIL not embarrassed to ask someone else to clean up her husband's mess?
People pls don't have kids if you are not going to be fair with all. Like i hate how one sibling can make his other siblings feel bad but never gets in troubles
Cleaning the toilet should become the brother in law's job, if his aim is so bad tell him to lift the lid, I'm actually shocked how many men don't know how to pee in a toilet without getting all over the rim and floor, jeeze it's not F-ing rocket science, and if you mess it up , you clean it up!
6:00 Now that it is established the house is worth $ 1 - 1.5 mn, OP should quietly ask his sister to refund the $ 120,000 his wife and he spent on the house when mom downsizes OR when sister inherits everything. Note OP is still asking for ZERO share but only the refund of repair and maint money!
That last op needs to realize that it's not her husband's responsibility to state her boundaries for her. If you don't want to clean up the toilet for your sil then tell her to do it herself.
first story: op needs to start defaulting to "as your daughter" whenever his mom wants ANYTHING anymore. "I need retirement funds" "ask you daughter, she has your real grandchildren" "I need repairs on my house" "ask your daughter, you want her in the will"
I wonder if the grandparents in the first story were Korean. Adoption is very rare in Korea because bloodlines are still highly emphasized in their culture.
1st story, if your sister is going to get the house stop paying for any of the maintenance, that is your sisters' responsibility. Also, let your sister know she needs to step up and do half of your mothers care and pay half of the mothers living expenses. This would seem to be fair based on the fact that your sister isn't in financial difficulties. If your mother or sister complain at all, let them both know you will not be paying for anything else going forward. Your family is using you as their personal ATM, go low contact with both mother and sister if they complain. OP use the money that was going to your mother to set up college funds for your kids and a retirement fund for you and your wife.
What’s this culture where the people who do the least are rewarded instead of those who go out of pocket to help others frankly the mother owes you a debt since you have financially sacrificed for her. Her giving you at least the majority of the inheritance is the least she can do to try and repay the financial strain she’s placed upon you.
Omg!!! Definitely never give another coin to that sow mother, make it live however it can and never pay it another thought!!! That's downright evil!!!! It can live or die in the streets for all you should care!!!!
Story 1: UPDATE 3:41
Story 2: 7:06
Story 3: 11:39
“They can’t even afford to buy it in my area so their will and assets don’t really matter to me”
Good thing his parents are doctors because that burn needs some serious medical aid asap.
Ohhhh... now that was a good one😂👍
Ha, ha! Love that comeback :D
@ASK GIRL Reported for spam.
@@Martial_Autist It's really disappointing that they're spamming other Reddit channels with advertising for their own, I actually like that they have a real narrator (as opposed to a computerized voice) so often listen to that channel, but their behavior is unacceptable & making me not want to support them 😕 I'm going to dislike any video I see an ad for.
Yeah this one is a total fabrication. Yeah I wasn't going to be a doctor nor goto college and went into acting. As an actor with no financial qualifications a bank hired me to be an investment banker which normally need one to be a college graduate and attend 2 years of specialized training after that, plus then work as an underling for 2-4 years before moving up the ladder if I show good progress. I did none of that at all and just went from man off the street to investment banker. Um right that seems totally plausible.
Story 3: OP should move out and divorce her AH husband. She is being treated like a slave in a home of 3 other adults. OP NTA. The other 3 adults are all AHs.
The stupid brother-in-law not only can't aim he can't even lift the lid first!
@ASK GIRL It is incredibly disrespectful to spam other Reddit channels with ads for your own. I actually listen to your channel & participate in the comments there, & this is making me & many others not want to continue supporting you. Please stop spamming. I will dislike any video I find an ad for.
@@KyrieChii Don't argue, just report.
ETA: And I mean both individual comments and the channel as a whole.
Lol, I'd have straight up made up an excuse to leave the house for a week to let those three f*ers figure out how to clean a goddamn house! She has to clean up her BIL's pee? FFS. Next they're gonna make her change the diapers too! I'd divorce over something like that.
Everyone keeps saying the mother might have dementia because of her attitude towards the adopted kids. I tend to believe she had these thoughts long ago. The mother said her husband wouldn't want anything to go to the adopted kids in favor of bio- kids. The parents have always been a-holes but kept it hidden so they'd get the financial help they needed.
Or it could also be that she did actually adored and loved OP´s children but knew her husband was big on blood ties and knew he wouldn´t accept the adopted children.
So she doting OP´s children was genuine but deep down, she also sort of felt like she was betraying her husband (or his memory) by accepting the children when she knew he wouldn´t do that.
I kinda think it was more plausible than keeping a flawless act for a decade without slipping up.
Sounds reasonable. OP is also an AH for lavishly handing over HIS DOCTOR wife's money to AH mom! $ 120000!
Nah I am almost certain that the Grandma had these thoughts the entire time. That it would be fun to do it on cute kids, but when it comes to money, they would not support "someone else's kids," it is actually really huge and some Asian cultures especially, and that's why there's such huge rates of kids not being adopted inside their home countries. Just seeing is it complete burden that should pay back their adopted parents for the rest of their lives. Heck, some biological female children or even seen as burdens and money waste
Dude! It's almost as if people have forgotten that some people lie! I have so many family members I don't like and my parents get shocked when I mention it bc they're like 'but you're always so friendly!' Yeah, I'm faking it bc we're at a social event, duh.
Based on my behaviour alone, I could easily see someone else doing this (the grandmother) to other people she doesn't like (the "fake" grandkids).
It is really common for people with brain injuries to have complete changes in personality, thoughts, and feelings. People have gone from pacifist vegans to violent human killers after a brain injury, and dementia is a brain injury. That said, they shouldn't assume it's dementia, they should go with a doctor and get a diagnosis before giving her a free pass for saying and thinking such evil things.
Ewww, wtf is with the pregnant lady? How entitled do you have to be to tell someone else to clean after your husband? People please learn to say no to unreasonable requests coming from pregnant women. I'm pregnant myself and I clean after my own damn self, after my husband and my kid. Absolutely disgusting behaviour coming form pregnant women, as if they are doing something out of this world and they are the only ones pregnant.
First story reminds me so much of my grandma. My grandma who has said many times, how her children abandoned her, because my uncles live in Brazil.
But the thing is, my mom has always been here for her. She is the one who calls her everyday, who visits her once a week, who takes care of her when she is sick.
And it breaks my heart, that my mom never gets the recognition she deserves.
Story 1 how unbelievable. Putting on a Emmy level act for a decade. Just so her daughter will keep giving her money. That can't be forgiven.
@ASK GIRL stop spamming your content on others channels. Gonna downvote any I see
@ASK GIRL Flagged for spam.
I remember the day my grandmother told me that my aunt was a thief and a liar. I didn't know she got alzheimer, and it was really weird. There is a chance that story 1 old woman have some kind of dementia
@@pepemontoliuanton4470 I never knew dementia or other memory diseases could cause a person to completely change personality or make up things/accuse people they're supposed to love/care for of terrible things, or do terrible things (like this OP's mother) themselves. That is incredibly sad.
@@KyrieChii It was not about a change in her personality. Dementia is not just losing memory, confusion, paranoia, and some more issues could come with it.
Story 3: NTA. Please kick everyone out your house. I am confused why there would be pee on the toilet seat when men should be lifting the seat, but I digress. If the two grown men in the household aim in 20+ years, the two grown men should be cleaning after using the toilet. This is just proper etiquette on a daily basis for anyone. Make a mess, clean it. The fact that three grown adults are treating OP as a maid...OP needs to either remove them from the situation or remove herself.
Yeah agree! Tell them to clean the toilet their f'ing selves.
OP is such a doormat. BIL pees all over? BIL cleans his mess.
I've been with husband for 15 yrs and I have never greeted with pee on toilet seat or floor in front of toilet seat.
I could understand accidentally dribbling on the floor or seat if you are drunk or half asleep, but why isn't he cleaning it up? That's disgusting. No one wants to sit in someone else's bodily fluids or other matter.
Story 1: I had a similar experience with my grandmother. My mother and I were the ones to spend every holiday visiting and helping out with whatever she needed, yet even on her death bed, she was calling out for her bio grandchildren, even though they haven't seen each other in 30 years and can't speak the same language.
People on their deathbeds usually want to see as many of their family members as possible. It's their last chance after all. That's not real ungratefulness.
But I suppose only dying and empathic people can fully comprehend this wish.
@@Gaia_Seraphina Sure, minimize my 33 year experience as something "only dying and empathic people can fully comprehend" when you only have one short paragraph to judge our relationship.
@@NotQuiteUseful
I'm pretty sure that you were never dying. And if you had more empathy you wouldn't belittle elderly people - who are about to die - wanting to see family members they haven't seen in a long time.
Cuz you simply cannot grasp, that people seeing their death coming soon, think differently than people who are alive and well.
Hardly anyone of dying ones want to hold on to grudges or stay small-minded. It's pointless and they recognize that.
And you? Those few words were enough to tell me that you don't.
On your own deathbed you will.
Farewell!
PS:
I'm much older than you by the way, said goodbye to a few family members. Therefore I can say that you should respect the last wishes of dying people, esp. if they are family.
But maybe that's my polish mentality.
I hope you told her in her language that you are no longer family to her.
Wanting as much family present and ignoring family for the biological ones who never were around are two very different things and as somone who has seen a person on their deathbed, no that isn't universally the case. Not everyone dies feeling the same. You can absolutely be ungrateful on your own deathbed if you actively ignore everyone who has helped and cared for you to whine about people you weren't close to for years... I don't care how old you are that doesn't give you the magical ability to know what all dying people want and intend to say...
Story #1: If that was me, she'd go to her grave never seeing me or her "fake" grandchildren, again.
@ASK GIRL Reported for spam. This is just sad...
That would pretty much sum up my relationship with my mother. I cut off contact almost 17 years ago. Mother or not, blood or not, evil is evil.
@@rawx485 damn that's a long time... was she an abuser ?
@@leonbelmont4028 As a kid, she was psychologically and emotionally abusive with a light dash of physical abuse in the form of using a belt, flyswat, stick, ect to hit me. The later being common place in a lot of households. When I was 15, my dad (also an asshole) was murdered and I'm like 90% sure she did it or hired someone to do it. There was never any proof though. As an adult, I joined the army just to get away from her. Then, when I finally found a girlfriend (now my wife), my mother went behind my back to my only friend and tried to get them to put a wedge between the two of us. She denied ever attempting that, which I knew was a lie. In between all of that were a 1000 other little stories I could tell. I also had a younger brother whom she treated waaaaay better than me. Haven't seen him in 20 years either. Fuck em both.
@@rawx485 damn man sorry to hear about that. you did well to cut them off your life.
Story 1: Your dad's hard eared money?! Wtf? Well, guess what you don't have to do with *your* hard earned money anymore. Talk about not just biting but trying to take the arm that feeds you. Smh.
The second op has no obligation to support his parents when they didn't support him and i hate when people use culture/religion as a reason to abuse their children.
Yeah it's really shity
Exactly. Yes Indian parents might be strict but they aren't all as the OP described. But sadly there are a lot of parents globally who behave like that.
@@mridutikku2890 and they wonder why thier kids want nothing to do with them
Yeah it's nuts
It always funny when broke parents threaten to disown their children and cut their inheritance when it is nothing to begin with
Story 2: OP sounds like he's enjoying his parents' shock at his success just a little too much and I am totally here for it! Good for him. Hope he continues to live his life the way he wants and enjoys every single second of it.
I have a few grandchildren who are not blood but I would never treat them any different. I really do love them all the same and I say you can never have to many grandparents. I feel so blessed . 🙌
I am reminded of a greeting card I saw decades ago. It had a cartoon of a woman holding a toilet brush as she said, Ladies, if you make your husband clean the toilet, [open the card] his aim improves immediately!
When OP said that the things she said were out of character for their mother, the thought of dementia crossed my mind too. My mother had dementia, and you'd be surprised how much a person's personality can change. It broke my heart to see the changes that occurred. My once loving mother became a hateful angry person. Psychiatrists say that what happened is quite common with dementia.
To tell you the truth, I don't think it changes a person's personality as much as it removes the socially accepted veneer. She was always this person, deep down. Dementia just removes the filter.
@@athenastewart9167 That is so not true. Dementia damages the brain. The doctors were able to see physical atrophy in my mother's brain scan. Damage to the brain is like damage to any other organ. It changes how that organ functions. Damage to the brain shows up as changes in the personality. What you are doing is victim blaming.
I heard this mostly happens in the early stages of dementia, especially when they can still notice the changes themselves.
@@athenastewart9167 if you don't know about a medical condition, then I wouldn't suggest going around suggesting people are evil due to it. Seriously.
Thank you to those who were kind enough to educate me on the ravages of dementia. You inspired me to do my own reading on the matter. To the one person who was negative, pound sand.
Op if you're brother in law can't aim. Tell him to sit down. Also give your in laws 30 days to find a place. That also goes for your husband. As for sister in law say cry me a river and build me a bridge. It's time for you clean it yourself. Her throwing up is for show, how I know? My sister try the same bs manipulation. So hold your guns op.
You know, a good wife and sil would've clean that toilet until it shined like a diamond. OMG I am sorry but I can't help laughing at this. I have three sisters and if I asked any of them to do this my ears would still be bleeding. What is wrong with her husband, I don't think they are going to be married much longer.
Story 2: Parents kicked out OP because he did not want to be a doctor.
After 17 years of no contact they show up making demands.
OP NTA.
And they wanted op to give his house to his brother, what the fuck
@@helenemuscagorry244 Yeah, I'd seen the same story on two other channels but both of them left out THAT bit. Yikes!
Story 1: OP's mom is being unfair. OP's mom is also being ungrateful for all the things OP does for her, including supporting her financially.
So this about adopted children. This was sad for OP. Mom takes OP's money but is completely ungrateful. What she is actually planning is to transfer money OP has given to maintain the house and support the mother to his sister because she does not love OP's adopted children. Heartbreaking.
NTA for stopping support of mother.
Mother selling house she cannot afford to keep up is the best solution. Mother should be using her estate, the money from house sale, to support herself from now on.
Small correction, but OP is a woman in a lesbian marriage. Homophobia likely played a part in mother- dearest's choice.
I suspected that, to be truthful. Another one about a offspring in an Indian family who was kicked out and rejected for 17 years until parents found out he owned a $20M house and suddenly declared they were moving in with OP.
He said no and they rejected him again. I suspected he had a male partner. That would have really annoyed his parents. So it is just as well they are no contact with him too after he said they could NOT live with him. He suggested they live with his brother, the golden child, who was a surgeon. (OP, unknown to his parents, turned out to be an investment banker.) This set of parents had plenty of money; not enough for a $20M house but they were not hurting financially and had zero excuse for living with any of there 3 children. So glad that OP was secure enough psychologically to not be taken in by his parents garbage.
Also glad so far that my parents are/ were not such pains.
@@rollothecat2010 same honestly
OPs mom was playing him from day one. She let her wealthy child pay for everything knowing she was never going to leave “those” children anything. I suspect his mother was always this bad he just never saw it because she kept it well hidden.
Story 1, you're not an ATM, and since you clearly aren't getting an inheritance, your sister can pay all of the repairs and maintenance. Since she is getting the house, she can put the money down for it. Good on OP for no longer funding her retirement. She was deceiving OP, all so she could get money for her retirement. Let her deal with the consequences of that.
Last story is so gross in so many ways. How embarrassed would I feel if I had to ask another wife to clean after my husband bc my husband is too much of a child to practice proper bathroom hygiene. Like wtf. And the audacity of op husband like are you kidding me??? Oh I’d be out that door so fast. Thank god my husband and our siblings would never do this to one another or we all have backbones enough to stand up for ourselves/each other.
Seriously! How TF do you become an adult & still pull shit like that? And how humiliating should it be for that man that others have to go behind him. That needs to stop, like, yesterday.
@@KyrieChii It never should have begun in the first place. OP should have stood up for herself from the jump and refused to clean up the pee of grown men. I would have told them to clean up after themselves or THEY would be the ones cleaning the SIL's barf.
For that last story, I have to say I'm germaphobic, too, BUT, it doesn't stop me from cleaning. It makes it harder, and requires me to find products (like gloves) that make me feel better about it, but it doesn't make it impossible. Would OP's husband just let all the filth pile up if he was alone (which, if he doesn't change his attitude ASAP, he will be)? There is NO reason the other three adults in the house can't clean the toilet - I mean, if SIL really does vomit every time she sees something dirty because she's pregnant, why aren't the other two grown-up men at least doing their share? It's very, VERY basic to clean up after yourself if you make a mess in that particular room - why would you even risk that someone might see a bathroom mess? Just yikes.
exactly, it doesn't stop you from cleaning, it makes you clean harder
Yup; cleaning with germophobia may mean investing in gloves and a mask, but it's still entirely possible. And the BIL has even less excuse, especially since he's the one who apparently can't find the toilet bowl with both hands and a map.
If piss on a toilet seat is traumatic, the first load of poo (or shooting pee stream if a baby boy), will be too much for them. She needs to get out of that situation ASAP because she will be the only one on diaper duty (as well as cleaning up for the "adults").
It's funny how the spoiled former "golden child" ( my uncle ) treated grandmother rather poorly when she was old and sick while the "insolent daughter" ( my mom ) cared for her most at that time.
I mean, my uncle baught her the cheapest food, wanted to split her medical bills ( despite him living as a *freeloader* in grandma's house while my mom rents an apartment ) and he never bathed her.
This is quite normal: when one spoil a child too much, they grow with a sense of entitlement and they become selfish, heartless which make it impossible for them to take care of anybody else (even their own parents) while those who have been put aside seek the love and approbation of their parents. It is sad for the second part though.
The fact that the golden child is a boy and the "insolent" one is a girl is also typical 🙄
Why do people allow others to walk all over them? This entire world is turning into either victims or bullies. What happened to normal people, setting normal boundaries and enforcing them?
@ASK GIRL Reported.
@@Martial_Autist +1
Good morning everyone 🌞😊
Is afternoon in my country
Good evening.
Top O the morning to ya!
Good morning ☺
It's 4 am for me rn but good morning ✌✌
Honestly I don’t think the woman has dementia, she probably kept her thoughts to herself because op and his wife payed for her. Also I wouldn’t doubt his sister has similar feelings, I mean she went crying to her mom when op told her to make the repairs on the house she would inherit.
My stepdaughter is having her first child and the first words out of her mouth was "what do you want the baby to call you, Nana or grandma Brandy?"
How awesome. Literally calling every month for 2000 and demanding taking care of house expenses but saying the kids kids are adopted so they're not family. Thats awful. Just awful.
As a single mum with OCD I did indeed scrub my own toilet when pregnant.
I even had to move house on my own and I was the size of a freaking whale! Lol
(I picked a furnished house so there was no dangerously heavy stuff to move and no risk to baby).
This is the sort of stuff that mums all around the world are doing, so I can safely say that unless she has medical conditions or is high risk then she can definately clean a toilet!
The level of entitlement absolutely stuns me.
I lived in a shelter high risk pregnancy still had chores...baby born via c section still had chores and had to move a week later busted my stitches but I'm still here.
@@stilettosnthaghetto6997 You are one hell of a strong woman.❤
Story 1: Real Grandkids? My family has been adopted and biological in every generation for the past 5. If ANYONE tries to say the adopted ones aren't REALLY family, they catch hands. Period.
My step dad's mom was like that. No matter what my brothers and I did for her and her home we weren't considered family by her. She made it very obvious with how she acted she didn't think of us as family. She especially made sure I knew that. Especially when she would body shame me even though she was 5x my size. 🤷♀️
before my grandmother went down hill we had a birthday party for her and took family photos when they said great grand kids. we all could see my cousins step daughter was unsure what she should do only been a part of the family a few years at that point but the whole extended family told her she was a great grandchild to so get in there with the others great grandkids.
I "like" how in the last story, *everyone* tells OP about how "it's not a big deal!" and "stop being childish" when NONE of the other adults can:
1: Use the toilet without pissing all over it like toddlers.
2: Clean up after themselves. Heck, at this point I wonder if they even wipe.
Yet, as many pointed out: "How would you like to be treated like this?". OP IS being "treated like this", AND: Would NOT get ANY support if she was in those shoes.
So, it's a rather baffling situation. It's a bit like asking the scapegoat how they'd feel if they didn't give up everything to the golden child. Like... what?
I just wonder if op will also be expected to change every diaper and clean up all spit up and puke from the newborn if sister in law is still there after birth. My guess is that sensitive stomach of hers wont find cleaning a diaper blowout any easier than cleaning a pee stained seat
@@kdcats4092 Yupp. If OP stays, OP's "job" is expected to be a stay at home maid.
2000$ a month, no major expenses or rent? What?
Not to dismiss the horrible behaviour of OP's family, that is straight up financial abuse, but he's being a huge, huge sucker.
His poor wife - I'm sure she'd rather spent her money differently.
10:11 he is refering to desi parents. Usually Indians says that. I am from Bangladesh. We have similar cultures. And yes I agree with the guy. I was kind of lucky as my parents were not that strict but they are still strict as it's part of our culture. I can understand what the guy is feeling.
Lift the darn seats, fellas. Wipe the rim with TP if you can't aim.
Story 1, she's not exhibiting dementia. She's actively planning who to give her property to.
I think I am a desi kid (Indian), but my parents did not treat me that way. You parents are not good parents if they do not even have a vague Idea of what you do for a living. How are these people even doctors.
You can finish last in med school and still be called doctor.
Being cut off from your Desi parents is honestly one of the best things that could happen. I'm glad OP has well & truly landed on their feet.
I would love an update on the last story...😁
Story 3: I would never clean up regularly after another person that is capable of doing it themselves.
If he can't aim, he needs to either sit down or clean 😂
If they don't get some goddamn disinfectant wipes and stop being difficult in the story 4. If they can't handle germs and pee right now they have no business having a kid.
Story two is another one of those situations where your parents say you’re not gonna do much in your life, but then years later you actually accomplish something. So yeah in your face to the parents. Can’t blame Op though, being a doctor is a tough profession.
Last story op is the last person should get that job.
People always want to look for a medical excuse to z use someone’s behavior. That is not dementia. She was calculating and planning this for a while. Some people are just assholes and you can’t make an excuse for that
Story #1 - NTA. After your mother is gone you will only have your sister as your remaining family. Having conflict with your sister is making both of you unhappy. Your mother's attitude is not going to change until she is in her grave. Ignore the money and the house as a source of contention with your sibling. Make peace with your sister first but stick with the decisions you have already made.
First story, he needs to look into getting his 120k equity out of the house
i hope down the road the sister from the 1st story actually reimburses her brother for at least some of the money he spent, in fact i hope the OP has all the receipts so he can sue the estate for repayment
She can't reimburse her because she has to sell it because op is not funding her anymore. Also they were doing it from their heart so there nothing to give back. I think Op is a lesbian, or from different ethnicity, that's why she said that her husband wouldn't approve of.
1st story, OP after everything that you have done for your mom, this is how she treats you, your wife and kids. Who cares if your kids are adopted, they are still your kids. If this is how she treats you then stop funding your mom's retirement. She is a grown adult. OP NTA
DIVORCE! These people are really insane.
I am pregnant with severe morning sickness and that woman is WEAK. Seriously, wtf? She was going to puke anyways.
Here's another thing for story one if the house is worth that much I'd make sure I'd Sue to get back the amount of money you spent for it because that was worthless of a woman to do to someone I don't care if she's your mom you need to get your money back and give it to your kids
The mother is right keep the money in the family I hate people who raised somebody else’s kid, but not their own
He can't have bio children. He's got no choice but to raise "somebody's kid"
But sure yeah, he doesn't deserve his parents' money, but that doesn't mean his mother deserves his money since he can't give her bio grandchildren. That responsibly should have been his sister's alone from the beginning.
First story: sounds like the house needs constant repair, usually besides a new appliance you shouldn't be constantly replacing/repairing something. The house sounds like a money pit. It actually might end up harming the sister when she inherits something that is in constant disarray or will loose most of the inheritance trying to fix the house in able to sell it. Depending on how old and what health OP's mom is in, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get a home inspection to see just how bad off the house is. Also all three of you need to have the "what happens after mom dies" talk. All three of you are adults and need to rationally work things out. From experience the smaller the inheritance the more family fights over it, then lawyers eat it up. Don't let money and pride destroy the family.
Story 1: NTA
And now the house the mother wanted to save for her “real” grandkids has to be sold lol 😂
Let her live with that
Story 2: Bwahahahahahaha NTA. Your parents are only reminding you there true character. Live your life and forget them.
While the first story made me gasp in shock, I'm genuinely really upset about that last one and really need an update. This isn't the only thing these people are doing to her, it can't be. It's honestly fucking scary how people can be so manipulative and entitled. I really hope she is in a position where she can leave and get away from the situation. She has a job so that's a good sign.
I'm the only responsible child in my family that has swallowed my pride enough to maintain a decent relationship with my parents. I help when I can and keep in contact with them despite the hell they put me through after my son died. I don't exactly know why I am being so kind. I know they will not leave me anything. I am their best child and still one of their biggest dissapoinments. Reason being I'm not the submissive pet they wanted me to be
The first story. Yeah my family has gone through that shit for about 30 years with grandparents. My dad's parents live next door. My parents paid for the food for them, cooked for them, repaired everything for them. Did everything. Well years ago we noticed food we purchased was being given to the "golden grand child". She was a prostitute. 3 kids, 3 daddies. About 3 or so abortions before that. She gets everything. Her kids get everything.
My grandfather passed away last year. And before he passed he had said my brother(the only actual male heir) would get his guns, and knives and a train set he used to play with with my brother.
Now supposidly its to go to my cousins kids. She did nothing for my grandmother for years except drop her kids off for 3+ months at a time and not come see them.
My parents eventually just gave up. They no longer buy food to put in the house. We dont eat next door anymore at the table. If we send food over its 1 plate for her, thats it. Were not feeding anyone else.
We don't put everything into her anymore. Its not worth it when we get treated lile crap. Her kids are royalty. Everyone else is a commoner. This includes for all holidays too.
(Christmas she gives 100$ for the kids.) Thats suppose to be it. But one of her golden grandchildren got brand new 1000$ IPhone from her.
Last i checked thats not 100$ for each child.
That's just 1 example.
Story one: NTA you're not getting the house so it's future operation is not your responsibility.
*Where's The Video With The Rest Of The Updates To Story#1 & The Updates To Story#'s 2-3!*
S3, Op the people who are staying in your home need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them ,and they can wipe down the toilets after every use as I do ,all it takes is a couple of sheets of toilet paper to wipe up any spills or stains and then you flush the toilet afterwards .NTA
I love that people use dementia. LoL like if that's a carte blanche to get your way
Why can't the brother clean up after himself?? He's a friggin' adult
Right? As a teenage boy, I had to clean the bathroom from time to time (and still do as an adult). It's a pretty basic life skill.
Nope, that a****** would be pissing outside on the newspaper. 🤬
People who say that OP should demand half a share of the inheritance in exchange for the upkeep of the house, need to realize that at any future point, mom could just change the will to give all to sister anyway, there's no way to hold someone to a particular will... if mom change the will after getting the money she wants from OP, there's nothing to be done. So OP should just stop paying money for the house, full stop. It's easy to see, that sister gonna get the house anyway, so just call defeat and tell sister it's up to her pay for the repair of the house, or anything else about the house, and walk away from it. As this case proved, mom was adamant that the house would go to daughter, and she seems to think OP owes his sister and her, just for being better off. So sad for OP about the reason. Hope he does better now.
I'm 38 years old, the last time I peed on a toilet seat I was 7 years old. I'm in good lord it's not difficult to wipe up after
She put an act for the money... Selfish greedy people are good at faking when they want something from someone...
Last story: one word...
LAWYER!
SIL/BIL need to move out of OP's house & get their own place. Trifling people.
Men who cannot aim? Two solutions:
1. Lift the seat up.
2. Do what women do: sit.
Good God, saying step grandkids are like your own is NOT true in every case. My son married a woman with two nearly grown kids several years ago. I barely know these kids and certainly in no way consider them my grandchildren.
The sudden hostile attittude towards children that OP's mom normally dotes on definately reminded me of my MIL's sudden change towards my husband and my family. She was normally so very sweet and giving and kind but once she progressed in her dimentia she was another person entirely. She suddenly referred to us as "those people." We lived in a multi-family home with her on the second floor and my family on the first floor. My husband and I and the kids had lived there the entire length of our marriage and had always been treated warmly by both his parents but she had changed to this really angry snappy person. My daughter and her cousin would take care of their grandmother 24/7. They would feed, clean and care for her all day long switching up every couple of days to each young woman could get a little rest. But for some odd reason she was still sweet to my niece but really nasty to my daughter. So much so that, when her grandmother was in the hospital and they were still switching off spending time with her there to keep her calm and centered she would verbally abuse my daughter and in the last week my daughter had to tearfully give up her efforts to help a woman she loved to very much. She worried that we wouldn't support her but of course we did. I even suggested a kind way of telling her aunt that was supposed to be the main caretaker (but wasn't) that she would no longer be available to help out and why. It was strange and even my MIL"s younger sister saw that difference in her regarding us even though we have never done anything to her or given her a reason to view us with such disdain. If anything we did everything we could to make her know that we were there for her and help out and make her feel loved and included in whatever was going in in our family. It was heartbreaking that for some reason our family had been singled out.
Story 3: see that’s y you don’t start doing stuff like that, it’s easier to set boundaries from the start then to try to change people after the fact
It should have started when SIL and brother needed to move in. Humm... why? What's their plan? How does moving in with us not become permanent or long time? Why don't you just give them money instead?
@@BW022 yea and DEFINITELY an end date, like 3 months and still that’s too long for me. I hate people in my comfort space(my home) and then to think imma be a personal maid NO MAAM
@@Dira7411 3 month end dates don't make sense. Unless their house is being repaired or something, the only reason you are staying at someone else's house is you don't have money. That isn't going to change in 90 days... especially if you are pregnant. It gets worse. And of course if they are saving money living in your house... they have no reason not to continue it. Heck, in many places they could claim tenancy and it could take 30, 60, 90 days just to kick them out.
@@BW022 not my problem, they can find someone else to leave with for a little while… the only people I’ve had to move in with because I didn’t have a place to stay was back with my mom and a close cousin and even then I GAVE MYSELF 3 months just to not be a burden. I said a time frame because who would want to be a burden
@@BW022 OP's husband is not going to kick them out. They are only inconveniencing the maid, err wife.
Husband, SIL, and BIL going to be cleaning that house from now on...i wouldn't do a damn thing again.
Story 1: Wow I mean just WOW. Something must be wrong with the mom because no one who loves their children adopted or bio would say something like that unless they’ve lost their trust and disowned them.
The commenter who told the OP to stop using his wife as an ATM would, I bet, never have said that had the OP been a daughter with a doctor husband. But fortunately the OPs wife understands what marriage is about and that you take on a spouse and their family together with any responsibilities or obligations.
I understand perfectly the biological thing. BUT. Beggars can't be choosers. It stopped being her hubby's "hard earned cash" property after she needed OP's money to keep it. And some things are never said. Mommy probably really loves the kids (kids can tell these things) but she still prefers sis'.
Second Story: "told you, you would not make it with that nonsense. How ARE you doing? Well, well, a banker. Not bad. A SERIOUS job at least. Since you know the market hereabouts, any suggestion where we can find a nice neighborhood bro can afford?" Anything else is just stupid and actually a humiliation.
"Oh, I want to help you with the ridiculous demands my family is imposing on you, but I don't like germs, so I guess you're the house slave, for them and for me."
Last story: at the words “now get back to work”, that should be the end of any support for any of the three worthless other people in the house.
S2 so love is conditional on financial success?
Story 3: divorce this situation.
Someone values blood relatives over adopted... must be dementia... Le sigh
Lmao @ the pregnant SIL. I'm not one to invalidate a person's pregnancy symptom because I've definitely been there. But lol she's pregnant, and nausea is par for the course sometimes so husband's sister getting sick is no earth-shattering issue that should cause a quarrel in the family. Next, she's pregnant, and that means she will be using bathrooms anywhere she can. Would she need OP to clean the bathroom at Walmart when she needs to go? At work? Restaurants? It's BS and they know it. Also, imagine being a grown man and peeing all over the seats in another person's house, with no decency to clean it up. And why is SIL not embarrassed to ask someone else to clean up her husband's mess?
People pls don't have kids if you are not going to be fair with all. Like i hate how one sibling can make his other siblings feel bad but never gets in troubles
Cleaning the toilet should become the brother in law's job, if his aim is so bad tell him to lift the lid, I'm actually shocked how many men don't know how to pee in a toilet without getting all over the rim and floor, jeeze it's not F-ing rocket science, and if you mess it up , you clean it up!
6:00 Now that it is established the house is worth $ 1 - 1.5 mn, OP should quietly ask his sister to refund the $ 120,000 his wife and he spent on the house when mom downsizes OR when sister inherits everything.
Note OP is still asking for ZERO share but only the refund of repair and maint money!
Good afternoon 😊 Love from India
That last op needs to realize that it's not her husband's responsibility to state her boundaries for her. If you don't want to clean up the toilet for your sil then tell her to do it herself.
Dude I'm pregnant and I have to piss every ten minutes lmao that poor woman.
The grandma pretended to love his kids to keep the money coming. Awful witch.
first story: op needs to start defaulting to "as your daughter" whenever his mom wants ANYTHING anymore.
"I need retirement funds"
"ask you daughter, she has your real grandchildren"
"I need repairs on my house"
"ask your daughter, you want her in the will"
I wonder if the grandparents in the first story were Korean. Adoption is very rare in Korea because bloodlines are still highly emphasized in their culture.
Story 1: Get her checked for dementia
Ask mom to split everything evenly.
That is how you disown a grandmother.
1st story, if your sister is going to get the house stop paying for any of the maintenance, that is your sisters' responsibility. Also, let your sister know she needs to step up and do half of your mothers care and pay half of the mothers living expenses. This would seem to be fair based on the fact that your sister isn't in financial difficulties. If your mother or sister complain at all, let them both know you will not be paying for anything else going forward. Your family is using you as their personal ATM, go low contact with both mother and sister if they complain. OP use the money that was going to your mother to set up college funds for your kids and a retirement fund for you and your wife.
$2000. A month? That is what I live on.
What’s this culture where the people who do the least are rewarded instead of those who go out of pocket to help others frankly the mother owes you a debt since you have financially sacrificed for her. Her giving you at least the majority of the inheritance is the least she can do to try and repay the financial strain she’s placed upon you.
Omg!!! Definitely never give another coin to that sow mother, make it live however it can and never pay it another thought!!! That's downright evil!!!! It can live or die in the streets for all you should care!!!!