Also, I was wondering what if Elden Ring released $20.00 dollar DLC Horse Armor like what Bethesda did LOL. I can smell the ratings... falling into a dumpster.
@Valehass I am playing Oblivion remastered right now and I can support what you say. It crashes about every 2 hours. And there's a glitch where I randomly get 8 feet tall, but I love it all anyways.
It does that in every game if there's a tutorial, the game don't have a brain, it don't know if you crouched before the tutorial, most games probably just wouldn't let you crouch until you the tutorial. Y'all's gripes are kinda baseless yes elden ring is great, but it's not too different from other games the main difference is enemies killing you in one hit but you having to hit the like 8000 or more times. Like I said love elden ring but it's not better than those other games it really just gives gamers an ego problem when the get too far into souls game like congratulations you played a game, a really hard game but a game none the less, if you could take more than one hit most boss fights would be a joke no matter how much you upgrade your health the bosses damage stacks and they chunk off the same heath from your health bar rather you have 8000 hp or 100 hp , it's still just one or two hits that kill you.
@Bhazorlol you see that heath bar getting bigger thinking you're getting stronger, it really don't matter the it takes the same chunk off your healthbar rather it's huge or tiny.
The square button is the credit card button lol, it allows the player to immediately buy the DLC to bypass the challenge. The alternative is to spend the next 150 hours picking nits out of the cotton and each cotton bushel contains 0-2 cotton fluff.
Actually it would've been more Bethesda if you return to Melina after gathering the feathers and she's dead because accepting her quest removed her Essential flag.
@cw4623Bethesda would give you a fetch quest that takes you from Limgrave to the Mountaintop of Giants, and back, while making you do it all on foot because they were too lazy to make player mount like Torrent
@Belle-ye1sz that’s true, i was specifically referencing starfield, but even then you would have to buy them with runes. They’d be able to die, since they wouldn’t go inside a little spectral steed whistle. No spontaneously calling upon them when you suddenly need a ride, not until you’ve unlocked that through a separate string of side quests… until that point, they exist in the open world and only teleport with you when you fast travel to a site of grace. And they don’t have nearly as much mobility as you feel they should, to the point where, despite being speedier than on foot, it’s not all that terribly fast compared to Torrent. They don’t double jump, and their only talent is an odd proficiency at scaling vertical surfaces. They will try to fight your enemies, and probably die doing so.
For the Bethesda one you forgot climbing mountains by spam jumping, getting flung 600 feet into the air when dying, and, of course, an armor DLC for torrent.
There would be a ton more dialogue. You'd also be overencumbered. Furthermore you'd spend so much time in the menus. You'd save and load when things don't go your way. Lastly, there would be a whole hour after creating your character where you have to play the prologue of the game before being able to go wherever you want. Bonus: You would have heard the word sweetroll a few times during that segment.
The loading screens were a little unfair in my opinion. :/ Bethesda only does loading screens during scene transitions. Having like 3 loading screens while you're still in the overworld is just inaccurate and immature.
@maskedmischief932 it's very accurate, and it's only immature to feel personally attacked by very valid criticism of something you enjoy, you're allowed to find joy in what you want, I grew up with Skyrim and it'll always be a home to me but my God is it shit and underwhelming most of the time and one of my favorite movies is the Warcraft movie, everybody has their own pleasures
I was really expecting you to shoot at the boss for a bit, and then crouch into stealth so the boss forgets you are there and walks away saying, "Huh? Must have been the wind" with 10+ arrows sticking out of him.
@purwantiallan5089 Nah, play a Bethesda game (like Skyrim) as a sneak archer. You can do stuff exactly like that. Best one I did, a campfire with 4 bandits. Hit one, it fell into the fire. The other 3 looked around for me, couldn't find me, when back to the fire. Killed the next 2 same way... Last guy stopped looking for me, muttered, "Must have been the wind", and went right back to the fire where his THREE buddies were laying IN the fire. What kind of broken AI is that?!? 🤣
I legit did that in Solitude in bright daylight while they were staring at me. I though he was gonna show beating Malenia while crouched in front of her looking at him saying "What was that?" every time he attacked😂
Oh no, the loading are actually really kind. The fricking loading on PS3 could be minutes long at times, and I remember how I had to close doors behind me, just so that the save was slightly smaller, and prevented a save bug. That habit got ingrained in me, and I still close door behind me, Although now I think of it as fitting for a sneak character that want to hide that he was there.
@shades909 Unlike the 360 version, the ps3 just wasn't optimized as well so you all suffered greatly compared to the rest of us. Not that loading was painfully annoying. But man loading every time you enter a building or dungeon area was irritating after a while
When I played Far Cry 3 back in the day on PC, the game refused to progress at the part where it forces you to fast travel as part of the early game tutorial. I eventually messed around with all kinds of settings and found that Uplay being set to offline prevented me fast traveling at that section. I don't know if it ever got changed, but that is why I haven't bought ANY Ubisoft game for close to a decade now.
EA is still at least generous enough to not force you to install an entire launcher, and instead installs a mini version of Origin/EA Play that runs specifically only when the game is launched
@ as in when you compare them to the topic publishers - like picking between two evils I also have many games that don’t require third party DRM, but if we’re on something like Ubisoft against Epic against EA, at least it doesn’t force you to get their entire launcher just to play a game you like
@jeremybrown9611 Yeah of all the things to praise Elden Ring for.. performance wasn't one of them lol, I remember getting some serious frame drops while fighting Radagon.
@trududesly1463 then good luck at spending 30 minutes each time just to fend off sponge soldiers cause you dared to steal a titanite shard from a table
The best over encumbered mechanics are in kingdom come 2 , when you are over capacity you cannot sprint but you start level ing strength. I looted so much Armour once but when I finally reached my destination i got two levels in strength,
@NerdgotCheese also you can move things to your horse so it feels fair and great. Also it makes you only loot high value items. Only take gold and high level Armour and skip the rest.
@dragonriderabens9761 there are other faults that would make me quit. The into is fire and so is that first person mode. But the other changes are fucking ridiculous.
First loading screen booting up a new game in Skyrim: "And the scrolls have fortold, of black wings in the cold, that when brothers wage war come unfurled! Alduin, Bane of Kings, ancient shadow unbound, with a hunger to swallow the world!" -- Ancient Nord transcript
@aramirtheranger1802 Morrowind is the absolute worst one to name in that regard lol. While it had a LOT of freedom, the main quest was very static, including Tribunal (Bloodmoon had the werewolf/hunter choice at the end iirc). The only choice i can recall in Morrowinds main quest was which tribes you gain the support of.
@bblt24 i think they are talking about the Siofra River well. in Limgrave Forest Area with the Rune Bears. Because that is the only Elevator with an amazing view I can think of
I think the intended logic there was that each particular eagle gives you one feather, so therefore you'd have to get three different eagles to get three feathers.
Weirdly ill take a million loading screens if it means like in skyrim every single building has an interior. Theres nothing I hate more than a city/location looking in depth but just a bunch of fake doors everywhere
I killed Karstagg like that, he ragdoll me above the arena but i somehow survived and then i emptied 150 arrows at him while he was staring at me from below
Ok that isn't accurate for Ubisoft. Ubisoft would give the enemies would barely do any damage to you but they would mega damage sponges that take way to long to beat. Unless you get the Rune acquisition upgrade for 10 dollars, which set the rune levels back to normal after Ubisoft reduced the amount you get.
I have played pretty much all of the AC series up to Valhalla even For Honor, never experience a crash. That combat damage maybe accurated but only apply to old AC games tho, their new RPG AC type doesnt have that one hit kill anymore even in easy difficult, unless you using the broken build stuffs
Bethesda Elden Ring > Varre asks for 30 berries > Mfw already standing in berry patch > Gather 30 berries for Varre > Profuse thanks, rewards with 500 Runes > Mfw cost for 30 berries is 60 Runes at local merchant > See Varre 3 hours later, walking on weekly berry-buying trip > Varre attacked by dragon! > Mfw Varre solos the dragon, because flagged as essential > Talk to Varre after he kills dragon > In a different voice, Varre calls me a "sneak thief"
>Automatically Gain a Dragon Heart. >Find a lucrative Glitch to get varre out of bounds. >Exploit. >Rinse, Repeat. >Unlock all Dragon Communion Incantations within the first 8 hours.
@sychuan3729Ah yes, the enemy has gone CRAZY!....But they're still...Ganging up on you, and guarding the caravans or castles, or acting like soldiers would in every shape, way and form. But they're totally crazy and that's why they don't speak! These zombies are doing manual labour and shiet, this mskes no bloody sense 😅 It's a cop out, through and through
@VouesolaR yeh ik. And you can complete the tasks to get points and they carried over from other ubi games. It was a good system tbh. If only their recent games didn’t suck😂
I mean to be fair I know I'm not the only person who stood on the underside of a Bridge in Dark Souls shooting at the Drakes tail for like an hour, or using dragons breath to wipe out a ton of mobs to safely get souls rest rinse and repeat 😂........so yeah it's kind of a legacy for From as well. That said I would LOVE if somehow the two companies were to work together and release a game using expertise from both
@Like2trip Back in the day with Demon's Souls you could kill bosses like the Gargoyles by shooting arrows through the fog gate. Kill the first, step through the fog, skip the annoying part of the fight.
11:50 you missed an opportunity to display dialogue with Melina as her passport photo, with 4-5 dialogue choices of this conversation, where you click each one of them one by one until they all become gray
I like how genuine many of the menus looked, this video really went the extra mile to give that authentic modern triple a feel we all despise. Brilliant.
@ Fromsoft doesn’t count because, because because Dark Souls was good and… and they have Miyazaki, it can’t just be some triple a company trying to sell products… I refuse to believe it!
@WaterBug64 tbh there's plenty of good AAA games nowadays, from Sega, Take Two Interactive, 2K,, Capcom, Atlus, Kojima Productions, Nintendo, PlayStation, Koei Tecmo, CDPR, iD software, Arkane Lyon etc it's only few really rotten apples like EA, Activision, Konami and Ubisoft.
Tbh the equipment UI in Ubisofts version is superior than Fromsoft's, especially if you can just press 1-9 to select the weapon or spell instead of scrolling through them. Maybe Fromsoft will catch up to making a bearable HUD in time
that was what got me from morrowind. so many jrpgs you beat the bad guy with cool armor and weapons, and got one trash drop. loved that if you killed a guy with cool stuff, you got it.
Erm akshully that’s not a cuckoo knight that’s a godrick soldier the soldiers are the grunt and the knights are the strong units and also the cuckoo knights or only in liurnia not limgrave
Or Bethesda's superior NPC's, Cities that are actually alive, companions, interactive objects, puzzles, actual dialogue options that you can replay. Thinking about it all, Elden Ring seems kinda empty, huh
@Yorikoificationat least in Elden Ring you get to enjoy lategame enemies comboing you to death (please don't mention dialogue when you praise Bethesda, it's always "yes" "yes" "no (yes)" "sarcasm")
@ExistedDimaYes, that is true. But in comparison to Elden Ring the dialogue options and player agency in Bethesda games is a masterpiece. (I'm not praising Bethesda as much as I am criticising Elden Ring)
Some extra bethesda-isms: Every melee has the same attack pattern, you need to travel back to Limgrave to speak with melania to Lvl Up (cant speak at night because she only Lvls between 8am to 6pm) she dies offscreen to a random rat enounter so you have to load back saves until shes alive again 😅.
Yeah, kinda crazy to think that the Bethesda parody is somwhat the better of the three lol... But also at the same time EA and Ubisoft set an extremely low bar.
With the EA one, I'd have expected the Wretch class to be free. Edit: yes, wretch is a pretty good class with more freedom and flexibility, but you do start with nothing but a club. Also, wow, nearly 4k likes on this? Idk how that happened, but honestly, you guys are awesome!
Imo even with loading screens, it's still a very enjoyable experience compared to EA and Ubisoft ver lmao. I finished a Skyrim 3 times and I'm still playing it to this day.
@mcbeaty3971Idk. I play Kingdom Come 2 by going to the menu and returning to the game (this way you can save without using potions) and still enjoy it.
@BababooeyGooey dude... absolutely. I am STOKED! Oblivion is my all time favorite. I know it's pure nostalgia, but whatever. I love it. Such a good game. So old now lol. Like a trippy old comic book you find covered in dust in your dad's storage room or something lmao
Subscribe to watch the next one (If Red Dead Redemption 2 was made by Ubisoft)
I wonder how elden ring will look if it was made my monster hunter
Also, I was wondering what if Elden Ring released $20.00 dollar DLC Horse Armor like what Bethesda did LOL. I can smell the ratings... falling into a dumpster.
Yoo I really want to see that.
Not nearly enough crashes for it to be a Bethesda game. Otherwise 100% accurate.
@Valehass I am playing Oblivion remastered right now and I can support what you say. It crashes about every 2 hours. And there's a glitch where I randomly get 8 feet tall, but I love it all anyways.
The game telling you how to crouch and sneak AFTER you already did so is perfect Ubisoft behavior
They want so much to be accessible to casual
It does that in every game if there's a tutorial, the game don't have a brain, it don't know if you crouched before the tutorial, most games probably just wouldn't let you crouch until you the tutorial. Y'all's gripes are kinda baseless yes elden ring is great, but it's not too different from other games the main difference is enemies killing you in one hit but you having to hit the like 8000 or more times. Like I said love elden ring but it's not better than those other games it really just gives gamers an ego problem when the get too far into souls game like congratulations you played a game, a really hard game but a game none the less, if you could take more than one hit most boss fights would be a joke no matter how much you upgrade your health the bosses damage stacks and they chunk off the same heath from your health bar rather you have 8000 hp or 100 hp , it's still just one or two hits that kill you.
@dustinstacey5181not even mentioning Elden Ring has an entire tutorial.
@Bhazorlol you see that heath bar getting bigger thinking you're getting stronger, it really don't matter the it takes the same chunk off your healthbar rather it's huge or tiny.
I’m surprised EA hasn’t made a controller that lets you attack by swiping a credit card.
The square button is the credit card button lol, it allows the player to immediately buy the DLC to bypass the challenge. The alternative is to spend the next 150 hours picking nits out of the cotton and each cotton bushel contains 0-2 cotton fluff.
@erickolb8581 that's on PS. On Xbox there is no square, but a B button. B = "Buy"
Cause now it's all contactless
Was it EA that had the idea to make reloading cost money or something like that
they literally talked about charging you to reload your gun
I feel like Elden ring made by Ubisoft would just be called “Assassin’s Creed: Elden Ring”
Assassin's Creed : The Lands Between
@HydroVector13nah that’s actually good tho
At this point in Ubisofts lifecycle it would just be called "Assassin's Creed: Glowtree"
Now everyone can be assasins😂
tom clancy's elden ring
Actually it would've been more Bethesda if you return to Melina after gathering the feathers and she's dead because accepting her quest removed her Essential flag.
I was hoping for a slip and fall, with a buggy kill cam, or something.
She's not supposed to lose her essential until the Erdtree burns.
@TheRisky9A minor oversi-
I mean feature.
“Let my hand rest on your wallet a moment”
That cracked me up lmao 😂
Mee too :D :D :D
Same here, I was eating and I almost choked when I heard that one! 😂😂😂
Elden Jew
@vagrant-techart8278 antisemitic prick
@vagrant-techart8278 Back to the grave, Adolf.
Amazingly, the Bethesda loading gag never got old. Perfection.
Probably the most acceptable outcome
Leveling Up (reminder)
They fixed that with the oblivion remaster. Game loads before the game can load 😂
except the one time it actually has useful info for a new player its sooo long to read and the loading takes 1 second lol
Over done though.
Walking through thresholds? Nah.
Everything else? Fair lol
you forgot the slow-mo kill cam for bethesda
Seriously. No lie, though---- it would have been a 10x better game if Bethesda made it. I would have been so psyched to play it.
@cw4623Bethesda would give you a fetch quest that takes you from Limgrave to the Mountaintop of Giants, and back, while making you do it all on foot because they were too lazy to make player mount like Torrent
@1tsnoe Why wouldn't they give mounts? They do so in Elder Scrolls. Plenty of cool horses in Skyrim
@Belle-ye1sz that’s true, i was specifically referencing starfield, but even then you would have to buy them with runes. They’d be able to die, since they wouldn’t go inside a little spectral steed whistle. No spontaneously calling upon them when you suddenly need a ride, not until you’ve unlocked that through a separate string of side quests… until that point, they exist in the open world and only teleport with you when you fast travel to a site of grace. And they don’t have nearly as much mobility as you feel they should, to the point where, despite being speedier than on foot, it’s not all that terribly fast compared to Torrent. They don’t double jump, and their only talent is an odd proficiency at scaling vertical surfaces. They will try to fight your enemies, and probably die doing so.
@cw4623 There is no way this comment is not a joke
If you died in the Bethesda version, you respawn at the beginning of Skyrim.
"Hey, you. You're finally awake."
Varre would probably say that line
At least you'd actually get to play a good game then
For the Bethesda one you forgot climbing mountains by spam jumping, getting flung 600 feet into the air when dying, and, of course, an armor DLC for torrent.
Dying to big enemies. I never was flung by anything else. Dragon's Dogma is flying 600 ft in the air when dying.😂
I mean they did kinda spam jump to climb that wall for the Margit fight
@GuntWastelander yeah but not a nearly sheer mountain
I was expecting a 20 second unskippable slow motion kill scene
There would be a ton more dialogue. You'd also be overencumbered. Furthermore you'd spend so much time in the menus. You'd save and load when things don't go your way. Lastly, there would be a whole hour after creating your character where you have to play the prologue of the game before being able to go wherever you want. Bonus: You would have heard the word sweetroll a few times during that segment.
I saw the loading screen coming, yet I still laughed out loud at the absurd accuracy.
I know right, it's just too perfect lol
The loading screens were a little unfair in my opinion. :/ Bethesda only does loading screens during scene transitions. Having like 3 loading screens while you're still in the overworld is just inaccurate and immature.
@maskedmischief932 You could also say that about the EA part. It's just a funny skit
@ Yeah, okay.. Fair enough! x3 I did think the EA part was a little over the top too. But just barely! Lol
@maskedmischief932 it's very accurate, and it's only immature to feel personally attacked by very valid criticism of something you enjoy, you're allowed to find joy in what you want, I grew up with Skyrim and it'll always be a home to me but my God is it shit and underwhelming most of the time and one of my favorite movies is the Warcraft movie, everybody has their own pleasures
"let my hand rest on your wallet for a moment"
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
a moment is an understatement
At least Bethesda only had you collect in-game items as opposed to being forced to pay real-world money.
Sounds like a incredible funny joke until you stop laughing and remember they actually WANT their hands on your wallet 😂
EA at it's best, buying a $60 game and having to pay much more to even play.
there is a double entendre here- EA is either out here for your money or commiting a crime
Elden ring Bethesda would have such a nice OST for god damn sure.
I was really expecting you to shoot at the boss for a bit, and then crouch into stealth so the boss forgets you are there and walks away saying, "Huh? Must have been the wind" with 10+ arrows sticking out of him.
Thats really unexpected.😅
@purwantiallan5089 Nah, play a Bethesda game (like Skyrim) as a sneak archer. You can do stuff exactly like that. Best one I did, a campfire with 4 bandits. Hit one, it fell into the fire. The other 3 looked around for me, couldn't find me, when back to the fire. Killed the next 2 same way...
Last guy stopped looking for me, muttered, "Must have been the wind", and went right back to the fire where his THREE buddies were laying IN the fire.
What kind of broken AI is that?!? 🤣
Yeah I thought that was the set up too
You can actually do that in Sekiro.
I legit did that in Solitude in bright daylight while they were staring at me. I though he was gonna show beating Malenia while crouched in front of her looking at him saying "What was that?" every time he attacked😂
I was expecting a "you are carrying too much to sprint" message for the Bethesda one ngl 🤣
Yes! That would've made it all the more accurate. 😂
isnt that litteraly already a thing in elden ring?
@BidoofGuy-s5r Yea, but crafting mats have no weight in Elden Ring, only equipped stuff affects weight
@ososq8y5353so it’s also a thing in Elden ring so can’t make joke about something that’s already in there lmao
@hmotor6Its very hard to be overweight in Elden Ring, unless you do it on purpose you almost never encounter this mechanic
The loading screens gave me PTSD of Skyrim on PS3 days
That's exactly what I am downloading rn 😂😂
The loading "screams" are really painful
Oh no, the loading are actually really kind. The fricking loading on PS3 could be minutes long at times, and I remember how I had to close doors behind me, just so that the save was slightly smaller, and prevented a save bug. That habit got ingrained in me, and I still close door behind me, Although now I think of it as fitting for a sneak character that want to hide that he was there.
Starfield is chaotic with these loading shits
@shades909 Unlike the 360 version, the ps3 just wasn't optimized as well so you all suffered greatly compared to the rest of us. Not that loading was painfully annoying. But man loading every time you enter a building or dungeon area was irritating after a while
The endless loading screens. Rage inducing, even for a parody.
"you cant fast travel when enemies are nearby"
To be fair, standard Elden ring has that too.
@_MachitsuElden ring doesn't allow you to fast travel while you are in combat, bot when enemies are nearby
When he got that chest I was expecting: “A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!”
NO!
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BACON.
I was expecting him to get 2 gold pieces and a paint brush 😂
Thanks, that got me laughing like a retarded seal.
Not again
2:50 you forgot EA will make you scroll 200 pages of contract before doing anything, and probably force login to play (that maybe even Ubisoft)
When I played Far Cry 3 back in the day on PC, the game refused to progress at the part where it forces you to fast travel as part of the early game tutorial. I eventually messed around with all kinds of settings and found that Uplay being set to offline prevented me fast traveling at that section.
I don't know if it ever got changed, but that is why I haven't bought ANY Ubisoft game for close to a decade now.
EA is still at least generous enough to not force you to install an entire launcher, and instead installs a mini version of Origin/EA Play that runs specifically only when the game is launched
@ryon5174 "Generous"? I have over 300 games and *none* of them have launchers. That's like praising your boyfriend for only being emotionally abusive.
@ as in when you compare them to the topic publishers - like picking between two evils
I also have many games that don’t require third party DRM, but if we’re on something like Ubisoft against Epic against EA, at least it doesn’t force you to get their entire launcher just to play a game you like
@ryon5174 the one reedeming trait won't make up for the infinite amount of flaws
Honestly, I respect the Bethesda one for showing you actually getting all the shit. They get their credit there, at least.
Not anymore
Almost perfect for Bethesda, you just missed the dip to 40-45 FPS in a large open area
Put on many grass mod to get 1 fps
And the modded experience.
Elden Ring was doing that well on it's own
@jeremybrown9611 Yeah of all the things to praise Elden Ring for.. performance wasn't one of them lol, I remember getting some serious frame drops while fighting Radagon.
Lol, how spoiled we are that 40-45 is considered bad.
you have committed crime against Stormveil and its undead people what say in your defense?
YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
@trududesly1463 then good luck at spending 30 minutes each time just to fend off sponge soldiers cause you dared to steal a titanite shard from a table
Crab eggs
Avowed NPCS just doing nothing 24/7. Skyrim NPCS interacted with NPCS and the player and also slept Avowed NPCs do nothing.
@trududesly1463so take you dead then?
You should have added the "over-encumbered" to the Bathesda one, that's an essential Bathesda mechanic.
Actually, Demon's Souls had that exact same mechanic back in 2009.
Technically u can become over encumbered in Elden ring by just max load
The best over encumbered mechanics are in kingdom come 2 , when you are over capacity you cannot sprint but you start level ing strength. I looted so much Armour once but when I finally reached my destination i got two levels in strength,
@007Rincewind better the oblivion god i love that game but when ur overemcumber u cant even move at all
@NerdgotCheese also you can move things to your horse so it feels fair and great. Also it makes you only loot high value items. Only take gold and high level Armour and skip the rest.
This reminds me that I have to play Skyrim again for the 50th time
Not gonna lie, that Bethesda intro screen would be pretty sweet.
That's what I'm saying!
Only real flaw I see with the entire Bethesda one is all the loading screens
@dragonriderabens9761 yea, even the "sneak mechanic", the stupid cheese and "loot everything" have it's charm. Quite enjoyable actually.
@dragonriderabens9761 there are other faults that would make me quit. The into is fire and so is that first person mode. But the other changes are fucking ridiculous.
Each loading screen can take up to 10 to 50 seconds,@dragonriderabens9761
What's important is that Bethesda's soundtrack would still slap.
Jeremy Soule Is a God composer
@riperkiller9787 Jeremy Soule's compositions, have....soul
@anonim4102no, they have Soule
What is the name of the song from bethesda part of the video?
@Time2GoHam1995 Most is Harvest Dawn by already mentioned legendary Jeremy Soule.
Lmao, a commercial came on during the EA sequence and I let it run for almost 20 seconds before I realized it was an actual commercial...
Classic Bethesda, spoiling an ending within the menu itself
First loading screen booting up a new game in Skyrim:
"And the scrolls have fortold, of black wings in the cold, that when brothers wage war come unfurled! Alduin, Bane of Kings, ancient shadow unbound, with a hunger to swallow the world!" -- Ancient Nord transcript
Spoiling the only ending you mean. When was the last time a Bethesda game had meaningful player influence on the outcome of the main quest? Morrowind?
@aramirtheranger1802 fallout 4
@aramirtheranger1802 Morrowind is the absolute worst one to name in that regard lol. While it had a LOT of freedom, the main quest was very static, including Tribunal (Bloodmoon had the werewolf/hunter choice at the end iirc). The only choice i can recall in Morrowinds main quest was which tribes you gain the support of.
@aramirtheranger1802new Vegas
I would’ve cried if you went to the Mistwood well and the descent was skipped by a loading screen
going down that elevator for the first time was magical in terms of
“THE VIEW”
Yea it was amazing
You guys talking about the siofra river? Cause I’m wondering if i missed a well in the mistwood ruins
@bblt24 i think they are talking about the Siofra River well. in Limgrave Forest Area with the Rune Bears. Because that is the only Elevator with an amazing view I can think of
@ same first time riding that elevator was amazing. I was both fascinated by the view and impatient about when it’s gonna end
Classic Bethesda jank not counting the 3 feathers you actually got on the first two kills, making you have to kill another one.
Omg that’s so subtle
And the one falling off the edge, which unsurprisingly didn't break the game
I think the intended logic there was that each particular eagle gives you one feather, so therefore you'd have to get three different eagles to get three feathers.
Well, in a BGS game you would actually have to loot the body. So that one's a little bit off. The body falling off is the player's fault.
Weirdly ill take a million loading screens if it means like in skyrim every single building has an interior. Theres nothing I hate more than a city/location looking in depth but just a bunch of fake doors everywhere
Hey come get fake doors!
Killing Margit with the stealth archer build is so Bathesda lol
I killed Karstagg like that, he ragdoll me above the arena but i somehow survived and then i emptied 150 arrows at him while he was staring at me from below
Ok that isn't accurate for Ubisoft. Ubisoft would give the enemies would barely do any damage to you but they would mega damage sponges that take way to long to beat. Unless you get the Rune acquisition upgrade for 10 dollars, which set the rune levels back to normal after Ubisoft reduced the amount you get.
Also, the combat would never be that fluid
And lets be honest, you’d need to pay a daily subscription to access the game and it would crash in every loading screen
He did pick the extremely easy difficulty to be fair
It would also be grindy to push people to buy "time savers" in other words rune boosters
I have played pretty much all of the AC series up to Valhalla even For Honor, never experience a crash.
That combat damage maybe accurated but only apply to old AC games tho, their new RPG AC type doesnt have that one hit kill anymore even in easy difficult, unless you using the broken build stuffs
Bethesda Elden Ring
> Varre asks for 30 berries
> Mfw already standing in berry patch
> Gather 30 berries for Varre
> Profuse thanks, rewards with 500 Runes
> Mfw cost for 30 berries is 60 Runes at local merchant
> See Varre 3 hours later, walking on weekly berry-buying trip
> Varre attacked by dragon!
> Mfw Varre solos the dragon, because flagged as essential
> Talk to Varre after he kills dragon
> In a different voice, Varre calls me a "sneak thief"
Or he gets jankily picked up by a Dragon and procceeds to gently ragdoll mid air.
I enjoyed this comment quite a bit. Everything is funnier in greentext
NPC's that move! 😮 That's beyond anything that Fromsoft could possibly manage, they just don't have the technology...
Radiant quests
>Automatically Gain a Dragon Heart.
>Find a lucrative Glitch to get varre out of bounds.
>Exploit.
>Rinse, Repeat.
>Unlock all Dragon Communion Incantations within the first 8 hours.
For Ubisoft, you forgot to have the map be revealed by climbing a tower and either fixing a radio antenna or crouching on a triangle shaped ledge.
"Chappel of Anticipation" after hitting 3 loading screens is just 🔥🔥🔥
I like how at 12:33 you get 2 feathers from the second eagle, and it still only counts for one. "It just works."
The Ubisoft eagle feathers thing gave me flashbacks.
4:51 "You, you're maidenless"
Player ghost in the background: 🤺💃
7:14 That camera movement of "oh I can move now" after the loading screen, the detail is accurate af.
1:23 In a Ubisoft game, killing him before he completely finished blowing the horn like that would probably have stopped the guards being alerted
In some situations it’s actually realistic tho like in fc5 if you kill the alert guy mid animation it doesn’t alert because he made no sound
@44swagnumonfnsame in fc4 and watch dogs 2 from my experience
Like in ds3 then?
@SirLamoon In DS and ER this has lore reason as most enemies have gone crazy long time ago.
@sychuan3729Ah yes, the enemy has gone CRAZY!....But they're still...Ganging up on you, and guarding the caravans or castles, or acting like soldiers would in every shape, way and form.
But they're totally crazy and that's why they don't speak!
These zombies are doing manual labour and shiet, this mskes no bloody sense 😅
It's a cop out, through and through
Nah for Ubisoft you’d definitely be able to buy a blasphemous blade for 100 uplay units
so for free because you can win uplay units by playing or for free because buying the game gave you a 100 uplay units?
@VouesolaR yeh ik. And you can complete the tasks to get points and they carried over from other ubi games. It was a good system tbh. If only their recent games didn’t suck😂
@ yeah it is kinda sad
You forgot the compass ruler on top in Bethesda's version, as well as the part where you take the bow and start crouching 😂
And the hidden eye icon during sneaking lol
And many bugs were also left out.
Okay. I didn't say anything.
And those random sex scenes
Plus "Stealth Attack for 2x damage" and "Critical Strike!" at the top of the screen when stealth-arching
The lethal swing through the shield had me laughing 😂
It's just not a Bethesda game if you can't brute-force around the terrain to cheese fights and mess with NPC pathing.
I mean to be fair I know I'm not the only person who stood on the underside of a Bridge in Dark Souls shooting at the Drakes tail for like an hour, or using dragons breath to wipe out a ton of mobs to safely get souls rest rinse and repeat 😂........so yeah it's kind of a legacy for From as well.
That said I would LOVE if somehow the two companies were to work together and release a game using expertise from both
or cheese a fight by eating 10 wheels of cheese
It's also not a Bethesda-developed game if there are no random game freezes either.
@Like2trip Back in the day with Demon's Souls you could kill bosses like the Gargoyles by shooting arrows through the fog gate. Kill the first, step through the fog, skip the annoying part of the fight.
That's kind of a Souls thing as well, at least in the earlier games. I did stuff like that a lot in Dark Souls 1
"Let my hand rest on your wallet, just for a moment" Funny af dude, well done 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂I was also knocked off of my couch when I heard it
EA even send his minion disguised as guide for you to make a purchase LMAO, peak comedy 🤣🤣🤣
What kinda npc comment section
Melina pushing microtransactions had me chuckling out loud! V E R Y G O O D !
The loading screen to enter Bethesda main Menu - gold 😂
That ea main menu with Malenia looks badass as hell though.
It looks corny
EA customer detected lol.
Looks straight from 2005
@Vespyr_ i am more of a bethesda and from soft customer.
Even though skyrim was the last bethesda game i played but i still play it to this day.
@ThePromisedMonarch Just teasing bro haha. I think it looks cool too.
11:50 you missed an opportunity to display dialogue with Melina as her passport photo, with 4-5 dialogue choices of this conversation, where you click each one of them one by one until they all become gray
passport photo?? this isn't DAGGERFALL!
I like how genuine many of the menus looked, this video really went the extra mile to give that authentic modern triple a feel we all despise. Brilliant.
Fromsoft is AAA
@ Fromsoft doesn’t count because, because because Dark Souls was good and… and they have Miyazaki, it can’t just be some triple a company trying to sell products… I refuse to believe it!
@WaterBug64 tbh there's plenty of good AAA games nowadays, from Sega, Take Two Interactive, 2K,, Capcom, Atlus, Kojima Productions, Nintendo, PlayStation, Koei Tecmo, CDPR, iD software, Arkane Lyon etc it's only few really rotten apples like EA, Activision, Konami and Ubisoft.
@ॐIo Rest in peace old Konami :(
@ॐIo >Arkane
RIP
In Ubisoft version, should have made a random enemy one level higher than you and they suddenly are absolutely unkillable
I applaud you for the amount of effort you put in creating all of these unique UIs for each company
Do this also for Nijigasaki Visual Novel Game: TOKIMEKI ROAD MAP TO THE FUTURE. All 3 different companies (Bethesda, EA, and Ubisoft)!
For Ubisoft there should have been so much clutter on the UI and they show instructions while you’re fighting so you miss reading it.
You wouldnt miss the tutorial in am ubisoft game cause it paused. And 5 tutorials a second.
Tbh the equipment UI in Ubisofts version is superior than Fromsoft's, especially if you can just press 1-9 to select the weapon or spell instead of scrolling through them.
Maybe Fromsoft will catch up to making a bearable HUD in time
Feel like there was a missed joke with the Bethesda one which could be when you get torrent your offered the horse armour dlc
I cannot fathom the monstrous amout of time it took to make this video, great job! Keep goin, you're doin amazing work
4:25, whoever voiced Melina here did an amazing job.
Only thing I like about Bethesda game is that once you killed something you actually get everything they carry instead of how most game does it
not in starfield
@AvowaIthat game was ass either way
Real@kaz_50
@AvowaIYeah, I hated how nobody had the armor they were literally wearing when I looted them.
that was what got me from morrowind. so many jrpgs you beat the bad guy with cool armor and weapons, and got one trash drop. loved that if you killed a guy with cool stuff, you got it.
The only one that would be playable is the one by Bethesda because usually the modders come and bail it out.
The EA style main menu with Malenia goes kind of hard.
I swear and Ranni looking at the Moon. Wouldve slapped
Stealth archer delivered perfectly.
The most unrealistic part of this is that Samurai is $35 when it's the strongest starting class.
the devs dont know that, thats why the wretch is 1000 dollars
6:10 wow EA being generous, since I was pretty sure they wanted to charge people everytime they reloaded their weapon. 🤣
One executive did, the same guy that went on to become the CEO of the company that owns Unity.
@Vallarok117 oh so that's why unity had that policy of asking devs for payment for every download. 🤣
@Vallarok117Huh. So that's why Unity's charging sucks ass.
Wait that last cukoo knight at 1:35 somehow managed to only take 9,999,998 damage!? That guy must be a boss or something
Erm akshully that’s not a cuckoo knight that’s a godrick soldier the soldiers are the grunt and the knights are the strong units and also the cuckoo knights or only in liurnia not limgrave
Missed opportunity to become a sneak archer at the end lol
I thought the Bathesda loading screen joke would get old after a while, but every time it happned I laughed even louder than the previous time
11:03 The interface not loading was a nice touch. For some reason I was dreading Meridia's beacon to be in that chest. Skyrim has broken me.
I personally always liked her quests.
Even worse the beacon has a chance to drop infinitely until you complete the quest
And then watching this on RUclips: a ad at every cut
0:37 wow we're actually getting tutorials 😂
The makrotransactions thing made me feel like I had to pay to continue watching.
Don't give RUclips ideas.
@BababooeyGooey HONESTLY 😅😭
Macrotransactions would suck. Thatd be buying the whole game, then paying twice for randon golden fireflies.
I'd like to see Bethesda's superior horse physics..
And getting an uber immortal horse that hurts enemies more than you after killing a bunch of innocent npcs in creative ways.
Or Bethesda's superior NPC's, Cities that are actually alive, companions, interactive objects, puzzles, actual dialogue options that you can replay.
Thinking about it all, Elden Ring seems kinda empty, huh
@Yorikoificationat least in Elden Ring you get to enjoy lategame enemies comboing you to death
(please don't mention dialogue when you praise Bethesda, it's always "yes" "yes" "no (yes)" "sarcasm")
@ExistedDimaYes, that is true. But in comparison to Elden Ring the dialogue options and player agency in Bethesda games is a masterpiece.
(I'm not praising Bethesda as much as I am criticising Elden Ring)
@Yorikoification Miyazaki's projects give you powerful choices of an NPC dying a horrible death or an NPC dying a horrible death peacefully
I was expecting him to talk to Varre in the Bethesda one and have him explain how you're a prisoner with amnesia
The Ubisoft one should have had a guy going, "Smithing stones... I should hold onto these..."
4:26 Got an ad right as you rest at the site of grace. Thought ut was a part of the video.
Same
Lol, same
Indeed
Real shit. 1st person Elden Ring would actually go so hard. I wouldn't even be mad about that.
There's a mod for it, it's ok but ER really isn't built for it.
@phonyalias7574also, how will you see your drip?
Make me dizzy. Cant
@Royalcommenter Just don't wear armor, easy.
Have fun with Consort Radahn. You ain’t gonna see a damn thing and that’s a guarantee lol
The cherry on top would have been in the Bethesda version a guard running up to you saying "Stop, you have broken the law"
Then doing nothing after you crouch😂
Or a Courier Chasing you
I like how the only one without a pause function is the actual game
No OP Stealth Multiplier with the Bow, nah that ain't Bethesda like
When he used the bow on Marget I though he was going to crouch into stealth and one shot him.
2 shot since boss.
Some extra bethesda-isms:
Every melee has the same attack pattern, you need to travel back to Limgrave to speak with melania to Lvl Up (cant speak at night because she only Lvls between 8am to 6pm) she dies offscreen to a random rat enounter so you have to load back saves until shes alive again 😅.
That last one hits too hard for me although I think that's less a bad game design and more that you and I are both bad at keeping track of followers 🤣
@Jerm4ever To be fair, a character like Melina would be essential. At least if we are talking about post Morrowind Bethesda xD
Also, Skyrim doesn't have a dodge action.
@ArdysLoreLibrary Nah she'd be like Caius and just have no reason to be in combat at all in the story.
@shidanslairbut Oblivion did have a dodge button.
9:07 Made by CD Projekt Red: Dead from small fall.
I love how the only ad here was for EA when you rest lmao
As fun as it would be to rag on Bethesda, compared to Ubisoft and EA, at least it's still a game.
Yeah, kinda crazy to think that the Bethesda parody is somwhat the better of the three lol... But also at the same time EA and Ubisoft set an extremely low bar.
Just barely
the bar is on the floor
user-zp8kj2cl9gthere's a mod for it
Lul, I forgot how many loading screens there were in Oblivion.
LMAOO 5:35. Let my hand rest on your wallet?
Haha that was my favourite part too
Just for a moment 😂😂
10/10 just for that one. Man this video is gold 😂
The $1K for a half naked character made me lol
The moment Todd's voice came out, I couldn't hold it back any longer🤣
With the EA one, I'd have expected the Wretch class to be free.
Edit: yes, wretch is a pretty good class with more freedom and flexibility, but you do start with nothing but a club. Also, wow, nearly 4k likes on this? Idk how that happened, but honestly, you guys are awesome!
They charge for it bc it's the "coolest"
In their version, you likely wouldn't be able to just take off your armour 😂
@SleepyChloeFist i noticed it also said "inspired by Let Me Solo Her" so it might have included the jar helm to a certain degree.
For 3 days to new players, that is. 'Courtesy' of EA.
@Veckoza weapon bundles come with various and random ashes of war too, probably. In loot crate style. Ugh, I'm getting Dead Space 3 flashbacks now..
Exactly. Same
This video is chef's kiss. I can tell that you put in a lot of effort into this and it works
amazing work, the dialog with Melina was perfect
✨ *_Buy more Elden Coins!_* ✨
Ubisoft: * 30 minutes later . . . *
EA: * $29.99 later . . . *
Bethesda: * Freezes behind loading screen *
Fromsoft: * 30 deaths later . . .*
This shit is so funny, dude😂😂
I kinda prefer the loading screen and the 30 deaths later.
Fromsoft:30 Softlocks later
@mogurisconpelo1855 if that is what you think you wouldn't want to know in a bathesda game, lol
Capcom *Capcom ID to play online*
man the sad part is the bethesda version would be the most playable if it didn’t have loading screens 😭
Every time the loading screens appeared I felt it
Imo even with loading screens, it's still a very enjoyable experience compared to EA and Ubisoft ver lmao. I finished a Skyrim 3 times and I'm still playing it to this day.
Ban all loading screens, and until loading screens get banned avoid meeting them so much.
Why do people whine about loading screens so much, I don’t get it.
@mcbeaty3971Idk. I play Kingdom Come 2 by going to the menu and returning to the game (this way you can save without using potions) and still enjoy it.
"Never should've come here" *violin combat music starts playing*
OMG dieddddd at Todd Howard's voiceover🤣
Torrent Kopybara 😂😂 I can’t. Stop. Laughing. Even had the bloody little saddle 😂 Oh man you made my day! Many thanks 🙏
You put a lot of care and work into this - awesome parody and 100% accurate 😂😂
Melina hocking microtransactions killed me.
Even in a parody video, elder scrolls music is still peak.
The work that went into making this is actually incredible.
That Bethesda one has me really wanting to fire up oblivion right now...
You have to do It, because im playing Oblivion right now
@riperkiller9787 hell yeah
stoked for Skyblivion, gonna have to get a vanilla playthrough in before it releases.
@BababooeyGooey dude... absolutely. I am STOKED! Oblivion is my all time favorite. I know it's pure nostalgia, but whatever. I love it. Such a good game. So old now lol. Like a trippy old comic book you find covered in dust in your dad's storage room or something lmao
@BababooeyGooey But if it plays like Skyrim and not oblivion whats the point
13:03 Oooh, it's that wierd bug where you try to scroll down the dialog menu but it keeps picking to top option for some reason
Don't forget that the farther you get in the Bethesda edition the longer the loading screens get.