God Bless you Matt, I cannot thank you enough for how comforting your words were. I have been suffering with Scrupulosity OCD for months and haven't been able to live due to confessing every blasphemous thought I have even if was just for a second and I rejected it. Knowing that I am not sinning if I have a thought and don't dwell on it has brought so much peace to my soul. God Bless you Brother and Peace be with you.
AlternateHistoryHub (Cody) are you a Catholic? If not, what's preventing you? Btw, I used to watch your videos without ceasing, but I haven't for a while. I have to start again. 😉
If you have doubts, rejoice because it means you have faith. If you believe in something that doesn’t require faith (say a tangible object in front of you) then by definition there is not doubt. So faith in something less tangible by definition requires the existence of doubt or that belief wouldn’t require faith.
Medicine against those moments of doubts, to me, is meditation on the Word of God and offering Him all my doubts. A sister once told me "nurture your questions in your heart ...and sooner or later you'll find the answers". Also a good spiritual director is useful to support you in these moments. When I'm at the risk of forgetting about God's Love ...I just remember what God has done with me, in my life. Pope Francis few days ago twitted: "Faith is nourished by memory: how many wonderful things God has done for us! How generous is our heavenly Father!" Thanks, Matt Fradd, for dealing with these topics. :) Just a pity that your videos are soooo short! :(
#askmattfradd What to do when social media is distracting, and I wanna leave it, but I also still wanna connected with people in a good way? Please keep doing q and a session. Love it.
You should try this app flipd I recently downloaded it and it’s helped me a lot. It turns off all of your notification and apps, and helps you set goals of being like phone free for 3 hours each day.
3:00 I suffer from scrupulosity, and one healing thing that I have learned for myself is actually a biblical teaching; divert or close the eyes if I see someone distracting. I keep my eyes closed during the Mass, except at the sign of peace, the consecration, or if I have to serve in some compacity. Looking away, or closing the eyes has been a great help.
This is not a help. It's an avoidance behavior driven by a compulsion that comes from the scrupulosity, which is really a form of OCD. What will help long-term is proper ERP treatment through a specialist, a therapist. Speaking from personal experience. I know the suffering can be great and invisible, so people should know there is a better way forward.
Dear Matt, My name is Evan. i’m 22 now and have been dealing with scrupulosity for 4 years now. at the beginning i was worried about things like “i’m lying because i didn’t really read the terms and conditions” or “i’m too scared that Saturday is still the day i’m supposed to worship and rest on”. i’ve grown over the years and understand why they are wrong (at least the saturday one), but now i’m dealing with things like Romans 14:23 where “But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin”. This terrifies me since now i feel that all the things i let go of in the past 4 years that i was only “pretty sure” wasn’t a sin have to be prevented again. it has brought me to tears even at work sometimes with anxiety, stress, and doubt of the faith that my mind has even had thoughts of giving up the faith or even thoughts of suicide (neither of which do i have ANY intention of doing right now, but i’m scarred that will change someday if this gets worse). i don’t know if i understand romans 14 the way it was intended, so im hoping i don’t have to go down that road from my past again, but i don’t want to just “ignore it” because it seems incredibly hard for me. i’ve been talking to a priest for the good part of these 4 years, but he seems so lenient on what’s sinful now and i’m unsure if it’s because it’s the truth or if he just doesn’t want me to worry anymore. i tried asking another priest and he disagreed with my long-term priest who i’ve worked with on this scrupulosity, so i don’t know if i can even trust him anymore. i don’t know what i’m required to do and i just want to feel free again. What should i do? Am i required to refrain from everything that i have any doubts on whether it’s sinful (like reading terms and conditions or what jokes i’m allowed to make or laugh at)? P.S. some of the things i asked the two priests were the following: 1. can i make jokes about cultural accents when i think they sound funny? 2. When does eating too much sugar/added sugar become glutinous? 3. is complaining a sin if i just want to verbalize that i’m upset even if i’m just composing at home alone out loud while playing a game or thinking about my day? 4. is being competitive and wanting to be better at my hobbies than others who do it a sinful pride or a good pride? i want everyone to do their best but i feel bad when others constantly beat me. 5. i have an eccentric person skirt with wanting to ignore social norms that i find oppressive and worry that not trying to fit into my culture’s norms will cause others to either dislike me or be scandalized and not want to be apart of the faith do to my eccentricities/disregard for those norms. (the norms i’m referring to is like being slightly louder at group gatherings, tons of joking, and not keeping my car clean). 6. is being headstrong(as in being stubborn and wanting to do things your own way regardless of outside opinion) (and liking being that way) a sin?
I've heard that you need to keep showing up and praying anyways. Persevering through dryness is worth more to the Lord than when he gives you warm feelings in prayer. Does your parish give you access to formed.org? They have a good program about lectio divina by Tim Gray you might find helpful...
Hi G O’Neil..This is going to sound totally weird, but I’ll be vulnerable to help you..Sometimes my prayers are like having a best friend next to me, all through out the day and I actually joke about things I see or hear.. or even pray in a light funny way- sometimes to Mary like a sister or an earthly Mom (I have neither) after all, God made humor and laughter as well! LOL I pray formal prayers like the Rosary, and honor God appropriately, etc. But I dont want a relationship with God like He is my school teacher or boss at work. He died for me! Best love story ever
@@SC047074 hey Susanna, thank you so much! You're absolutely right, establishing a permanent conversation with God and Mary is beautiful. Thanks for your kind reply :)
+Susanna Palermo After reading your comment, one question came to mind: is that how the saints used to pray? They all seemed to have a permanent intimacy with Christ, but I never heard any of them doing something of this sort.
Matt this was very informative. I struggled with pornography addiction for years. It also took years to overcome it. And. Honestly I still daily rely on my “weapons” to fight it. Frequent (sometimes more than weekly) confession during that period with the same priest was a great check on this. Call this “accountability”, or spiritual direction, or whatever, but the hardest part was to keep going to confession even though it was so humbling to fall the same way so many times. Can’t overemphasize this, just keep going to the same holy/knowledgeable person no matter what. And when you fail at going, start again. By some miracle, Not only did this sin fall away (it’s still always lurking), but I began to shockingly love confession. What I gained was great weapons (confession, ejaculatory prayer etc.) in my many struggles that i love to wield. But Confession is still humbling, but now it seems like running to a parent for help that you are okay being vulnerable with. Just one more thing, it was either Paul or Aquinas who said ‘some sins sins you stand and fight and some you flee from’. I suggest you flee from sins of the flesh. In other words, don’t chance the near occasion of sin, if you see a attractive girl, look the other way and say a quick prayer for strength. Only you will know, let’s not be scrupulous either. Just like if you are on a diet, you shouldn’t “innocently” peak in the refrigerator. By the way, fasting and prayer is also a great tool recommended by the saints for “lust of the flesh”.
#askmattfradd I feel like it's impossible for God to be happy with me because everything is touched by the fall, like even my best deeds are filthy rags, and it will be this way no matter how hard I try, until I die or Jesus returns. I'm not enough and it hurts, even though I know Jesus is enough and reconciles all my shortcomings. I've always felt like there's this divide between me and Him, even though Jesus has bridged the gap and I'm grateful. For years I've asked God not to reject me just because I can't "feel" the way I ought, though I know faith isn't always a feeling and that he won't just pass me by. (I also know that some of this comes from childhood trauma, as feeling disconnected/blocked is a pervasive theme in my life with other people as well, but it's most troubling in my relationship with the Lord and Idk how to fix it or if it can/needs to be fixed) I'm not exactly sure what my question is here or if I'm even making sense but I was hoping you could offer some clarity or input.
Hi there, I'm also struggling with this disconnectedness from God. Wanting his peace and closeness and its not there at times. And when it is there I feel loved and safe and when the feeling goes I get scared he's not with me/doesn't exist and it's all a fabric of my imagination. Then I worry Satan is working in me leading me astray and end up in this mental battle about which spiritual forces are in me. Very tiresome. Don't know how to cope sometimes.
#askmattfradd Something that I really struggle with is listening to God. He seems so silent with me and then sometimes (oftentimes) I become disinterested in prayer because I feel like I'm talking into an empty echoing cave at times with no response. Everyone preaches the importance of prayer, so I want to get good at it-and just GET IT...get WHY I MUST do it. Do you have a healthy vibrant prayer life? If you do, please tell me how I can achieve that because I feel like I'm not doing it right. Thanks mate
I know this is 3 years ago. But I’m just finding all these videos. So, I watched another with Father Mike. On how we don’t ever lose our faith once we have it. We sometimes just lose touch with it/God. He did imply we could lose our salvation. I was brought up in a Protestant view of once saved always saved. Who believes what and why?
Why is this so specific to me. This past year has been difficult. I’m an ex Muslim atheist. But during the time I was atheist I was depressed and suicidal. I need God, even if it’s not true I can’t be sad any longer.
Matt! I love your videos and your enthusiasm for the faith and ministering to those of us with our own thorns in the flesh of carious types. I wanted to make two comments about your topics today. One, I am so glad to hear you talk about Scrupulosity as it is something I struggle with myself. The advice you gave was spot on and it is advice I have often had to remind myself of....over and over at times, but it does help. And it is very painful for those that suffer through it. If you can, please do a whole video on it in the future. Also, I wanted to give my own remedy for habitual sin....2 actually, though they are related. 1. The Rosary. 2. The chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows. The change they made in me and my struggles to overcome certain habitual sins is nothing less than miraculous! Please continue doing what you are doing and keep me in your prayers. Ad Jesum Per Mariam! Anthony
#askmattfradd Dear Matt, what do you recommend to those who can’t feel God’s presence? I suffer from OCD/scrupulosity and for over a year now, I haven’t been able to feel God’s presence like I have in the past. I know many will say that we must walk by faith and not by feelings, but it’s still very tough and I miss those feelings of peace. Are there any books or other sources of information I should read and look into?
Hi I am watching your youtube from South korea. I love your talk! I have question about the book you mentioned. I believe in love. It seems like there are two version. One is saying for persoanl retreat and the other one is just saying study guide book. Which one are reffering to?
I think he is referring to the actual book, “I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux” by Fr. Jean C. J. D’Elbee. (I have it, and it is excellent.) The study guide looks to simply be a supplement to the book-ideal if you want to dig deeper or study the book in a book club or small group discussion. Hope this helps!
#askmattfrad When we say God's divine mercy prevails over his justice, it's so beautiful and makes me want to cry out loud in joy..but the inner struggle is in understanding how this impacts the perpetrators of such heinous crimes..like for eg, isn't it the slightest bit unfair to victims of severe forms of child sexual abuse or any forms of abuse? Also, if you could inform us as to what is truly God's view regd abuse directed towards little children?? Thanks!
Thanks for the time and thought that you putt into these videos, Matt! I enjoy your insights, and in this video, I especially appreciate your thoughts around scrupulosity.
I suffer from the concept of Trinity. It did not bother me before, but when I read the Catechism, as soon as it became quite clear to me I became more confused. When I say God, when I see the word God, when I pray to God there's like this voice " Who are you referring to? Who are you praying to?". It's frustrating!
Dear good Sir, I am catholic and it has always been a struggle for me to defend the faith when it comes to the topic of saints and Mary. Whenever my friends (protestant & muslim) asks about how saints could hear a million prayers at the same time when these saints are mere humans and not omnipotent like God. I hope you could help me with this. God bless and thank you. #askmattfradd
Jo Perez Catholic Answers is a wonderful resource for every question regarding apologetics, and they have many articles and videos about the Saints. Their RUclips channel is Catholic Answers. May God bless you!
Hi Jo, I believe the reason for the “attack” on Mary and Saints comes straight from the serpent. His goal is to take soles .. Lucifer’s jealousy of humans was the catalyst for his entire fall. Mary is the new Eve and all the Angels are her army against Satan. Therefor, she is his biggest threat. That is why the Rosary is so powerful, thats why the Hail Mary is said over and over again in the Rosary. Satan will do whatever he can to steal souls, he is deeply jealous of Saints and all human souls, and Mary leads the Army. Remember even Los Angelas CA, full name is actually - "El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río Porciúncula" (in English, "town of our lady the Queen of Angels of the River Porciúncula"). I hope this helps!!
Jo Perez You can check this document, “Any friend of God is a friend of mine”, written by Patrick Madrid. patrickmadrid.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/anyfriendofGod1.pdf
#askmattfradd Matt I really believe that suffering and tribulations are God's imprint on a (fortunate) person and the more a person progresses in spirit, the heavier crosses he will bear. Matt honestly I'm living a pretty easy life. I have no complaints with the environment I'm in. But, this would lead me into thinking that maybe something is not right here, that I'm missing something, far greater(in spirit). But then I'm also reminded that what I have are his blessings and have no right to complain. I'm at a paradox. Please do help.
Whoever may see this, please know that the advice here on scrupulosity is outdated. If you're suffering from ongoing severe scrupulosity, then don't follow this advice. If it's severe then it is not a spiritual issue primarily. It is really OCD. You need a therapist who specializes in ERP. Spiritual direction can be an aid, but the only thing that will treat scrupulosity (which is a religious OCD) is the proper form of therapy. Spiritual directors are not trained in ERP. Many therapist aren't either. Find a specialist in ERP. OCD is at tricky disease to pinpoint. It is often missed by confessors. Trying to do more spiritual reading or prayerful devotions to "counter" the scrupulosity will actually just make it worse in the long-term. It's the OCD that's making you think you need to "just do some more prayer" or "just do more religious research." It's feeding into the cycle of compulsive behaviors. Catholics who don't have religious OCD (scrupulosity) do not have to worry about these things. But people who do have religious OCD actually need to adjust their spiritual practices to have more relaxed expectations. It's a real pathology, and the Christian ascetic tradition has always acknowledged that people with any form of illness need to take care of their minds/bodies/souls. Speaking from experience. Not making any of this up.
Thanks #AskMattFradd very good advice, done ir and os going well. By the way I'm not a bloke I' a woman and fan of your wife podcast Among the lilies :) . Good Spanish....
This is a Godsend. I suffer from scrupulosity, and it dose get hard and confusing a lot of the times. especially when it comes time for receiving the Eucharist. Do you have any suggestions on how to find a proper spiritual director?
#askmattfradd why is becoming catholic so intimidating? I feel like I can’t walk up and talk to the priest unless I schedule an appointment or get an invitation. Love your videos looking into becoming catholic.
A good start would be attending Mass regularly and receiving the Blessing of Christ at Communion. While the Eucharist must only be received by a practicing Catholic who's in a State of Grace, anyone at any stage in their life can receive the Blessing by placing the right hand over the heart (or by crossing both arms across the chest, either is fine) when it's your turn, which let's the priest (or Eucharistic Minister) know to grant you the Blessing. The feelings of intimidation will dissipate accordingly, and trust in Our Lord will grow. I did this for several months before checking out RCIA, after personal events in my own life turned my attention towards the big questions about the relationship between the Divine and humanity, etc, and the entire time was a very good experience.
#askmattfradd hi Matt loving your episodes. I’m a year sober and life has never been better for me but I’m avoiding communion as I don’t want the wine. I know it becomes he blood of Christ... but for me it’s still wine and I’m scared. Can I take the bread and not the wine, will my priest understand if I speak to him?
J Wells, as Catholics, we believe that Jesus is fully present even in the smallest crumb of the Eucharist. So while the Blood of Christ is amazing, beautiful, and spiritually filling, receiving the Body of Christ in just the bread is enough as well. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I hope this helps. God Bless!
#askmattfradd Can you explain the benedictine bracelets for me? I have one of them, but I want to know what it means and how to explain it to others. Thanks so much!
To anyone struggling with pornography..pray the FULL rosary (Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries all in one day.) Look up Mother Mary's 15 promises to St. Dominic for those who pray the full Rosary every day (Also look up GabiAfterHours or Father Don Calloway videos on the power of the Rosary). I can personally attest to how praying 4 Rosary's a day (4 when including the Luminous mysteries) has completely transformed my life...including no more pornography and lust. I recommend praying at least 1 Rosary in the morning before work, 1 Rosary when you get home from work/school, and 1 Rosary before bed. We have more time than we think. It's all about discipline and persistence. God Bless!
#askmattfradd Can you please do a video on what movies we can watch as practicing Catholics with children? I tend to tell my husband to turn it off once I've hear swear words. Thank you in advance. God bless you.
#askmattfradd Hi Matt! Thank you for everything! I’d like to be anonymous when you mention my question: How can I help my significant other who struggles with porn? My understanding from talking with him is that it can be dangerous or bad for both him and I if we talk about it too much, but knowing how vicious the battle is, I want to help him in fighting this vice if I can. Any tips?
#askmattfradd what do you do when you feel bored with Prayer? I mean I used to Pray with devotion and now I have to force myself to Pray, especially the Rosary. I want that to stop, so what do I do?
#askmattfrad my father has sexually and emotionally abused me for many years so because of this, random impure thoughts of him come to mind-any good Catholic websites or books you recommend? Also pray for me!😊
Corina Avelar .. Hi Corina.. I too was abused and last year my aunt urged me to tell a priest in confession. I thought that was weird because it wasn’t MY sin, so why would I do that? I tried it, and oh my goodness I felt an enormous weight off my body. It was incredible. I told the priest how I reacted to it, such as harming myself, etc. Boy did he make me strong. I cried for a while after that but in a good way. I felt light and free. Give it a try. God bless you 🤗
@@Justme-zo3jy Did it ever occur to you that a person other than the legal side needs personal help. And sometimes it's easier for someone who suffers from such major maltreatment/ crime to talk to someone who does not fully see you. (Confessional) This person may then be able to call on the help of a psychologist / therapist , Apart from the fact that in some areas, the law prevents a perpetrator from being prosecuted a few decades after the crime happened or that those who should actually support one seize every opportunity to place a grave complicity on the victim of rape.
Corina Avelar St.Maria Goretti is the PERFECT to pray to in your situation. I am praying for you 🙏🏻 Please don’t be hard on yourself about these “random thoughts.” It’s not your fault what happened to you and something like that can be hard from keeping out of your mind. Thank you for being strong enough to share your story
#askmattfradd I am severely scrupulous and have not received communion in the better part of a year. I go to confession almost every week and have been having thoughts like "Why should I go to confession if I know I'm just going to go back again in a few days?" I do not want to go down this path... do you have any advice to keep these thoughts away?
not married - to go on a date is an anticatholic advice. and nothing kills sins of impurity like Our Lady and God Himself. Prayer, Pennance, fasting. It's not something that can be wiped out by eraser, but by Prayer and struggle. Noone is getting healed from any addiction nor attachment without God's Strength, Grace, and those struggles can become our Cross for The Glory of God. Also, be careful at which people you're looking at, for especially in those scenaries themselves are provoking on purpose. Sometimes it happens it doesn't come out of your own mind, but from that subject your looking at.
i've recently thought about doing RCIA, however i have some questions because some things are still fairly new to me. can you answer my question below. So having relations with the same sex is a sin, and we should pray for those who engage in this, but there are happily married same sex couples and while marriage is a union & to welcome children, same sex couples can still have children through adoption & medical options. i agree that man & woman were created for one another but I'm still having a hard time with same sex relationships as a sin because there a same sex couples out there that are not suffering in their marriage. it seems wrong to pray for a same sex couple to no longer be together if they have children together. I understand that we shouldn't discriminate against anyone with same sex attraction-which i also agree, but for those who decide to have a same sex relationship rather than remain single why is that "horrible" if they have a committed relationship and don't have sex until marriage. i understand that this is a sinful act, but can you explain the happiness & healthy relationship part? how is it sinful if people are in healthy, happy monogamous relationships?
Hi brother, I was Southern Baptist for 23 years and became Catholic; 14 years ago. My answer is the first "1400" years of Christianity. Of course I am not opposed to worship in any christian church- the catholic church, being and becoming catholic was and is quite special. I have an understanding of what you are stating. I find that Christians have much more in common than differences.
can you answer this WHY DO CATHOLICS CALL ARCHANGEL MICAHEL ( MichaeL) A SAINT? OR SAINT RAPHAEL FOR THAT MATTER - saints and angels are two different things - saints are humans that are walking in God's perfect will - ARCHANGELS WHO SERVE HIM ARE ALWAYS IN HIS WILL angels were created before man - only men can become saints??/ We can become an : angel" only as the definition of a " one who brings a message" not an angel created before man - really makes me pause and grit my teeth when " say the prayer of Saint Michael - ahhh isn't the Archangel Michael wothy to be called the Aarchangl that He is ????
In the Catholic Church, archangels are sometimes called saints as a sign of respect and honor. The word "saint" comes from the Latin word sancta, which means "holy". Since angels are automatically holy once they are in heaven, the term "saint" can be used to describe them as well as humans.For example, the Catholic Church named Saint Michael the Archangel a saint because of his leadership role as the chief angel. As a reward for his loyalty to God, Michael defeated Satan and cast him out of Paradise. He also has other roles, including being the Christian angel of death, weighing people's merits on Judgment Day, and serving as the Guardian of the Church. Other archangels, such as Gabriel and Raphael, are also revered as saints in many Christian traditions, including Catholicism. Catholics pray to archangels because they believe God has entrusted them with a mission to help people, fight evil, and spread the Word of God.
Matt.... I have a whole lotta cigars amd whiskey... Come to Nebraska... We have a whole whole lotta open beautiful land. Talk about getting away from the world!
please, be careful in doing this work if you partook it, in answering the questions. advice not your own advices but what Good Catholic priest and Catholic Church Herself would Advice, and even if it would cut off a half of your viewers. (but there will be the real viewer, don't worry. It's better gold than stuff-like-gold, and it will be difficult if not in the beginning, it will get difficult anyway, Work for Christ Is Always Pleasantly Difficult, for It Is A Meriting of Christ's Kingdom.) God Bless you.
First of all, the way our church teaches my first cousin the Blessed Mother,leads to doubt. It is more appropriate to teach Mary is the mother of Jesus Christ and queen of Heaven,but you have to stop teaching she is everyones family. Dictators,Inquisiters, kings, queens, and ev erything else have tried to prove they are Gods family. So, change that lie that Mary is everyones family to pray to her as Christs mother,not everyonres mother,and thwen have faith.
Please pray for me as I'm suffering from scrupulousity. I can already feel the devil trying to get me to steer away from God, but I refuse to do so. 🙏
Wow. Hey Guys!! Today is my birthday!!! Thank You Jesus!!!
i know it’s probably late but happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
@@hannahzwic5975 Thank you so very much. I appreciate it!🙏❤️❤️❤️
God Bless you Matt, I cannot thank you enough for how comforting your words were. I have been suffering with Scrupulosity OCD for months and haven't been able to live due to confessing every blasphemous thought I have even if was just for a second and I rejected it. Knowing that I am not sinning if I have a thought and don't dwell on it has brought so much peace to my soul. God Bless you Brother and Peace be with you.
God Bless you!!
Hey! I just wanted to say my fiance and I love your content. Keep up the great work. Bless you!
Is this a crossover episode?
AlternateHistoryHub (Cody) are you a Catholic? If not, what's preventing you?
Btw, I used to watch your videos without ceasing, but I haven't for a while. I have to start again. 😉
Based AltHistoryHub?
Sorry that I did, thought, said and wish any bad towards you in anyway
Oh, I watch your stuff.
If you have doubts, rejoice because it means you have faith. If you believe in something that doesn’t require faith (say a tangible object in front of you) then by definition there is not doubt. So faith in something less tangible by definition requires the existence of doubt or that belief wouldn’t require faith.
Medicine against those moments of doubts, to me, is meditation on the Word of God and offering Him all my doubts. A sister once told me "nurture your questions in your heart ...and sooner or later you'll find the answers". Also a good spiritual director is useful to support you in these moments. When I'm at the risk of forgetting about God's Love ...I just remember what God has done with me, in my life. Pope Francis few days ago twitted: "Faith is nourished by memory: how many wonderful things God has done for us! How generous is our heavenly Father!"
Thanks, Matt Fradd, for dealing with these topics. :) Just a pity that your videos are soooo short! :(
#askmattfradd What to do when social media is distracting, and I wanna leave it, but I also still wanna connected with people in a good way?
Please keep doing q and a session. Love it.
"[D]istracting" how? SM is a medium: a means. What you do with it is up to you.
You should try this app flipd I recently downloaded it and it’s helped me a lot. It turns off all of your notification and apps, and helps you set goals of being like phone free for 3 hours each day.
The book "I Believe in Love" is excellent. It changed my life, no exaggeration. ❤
Oh my goodness I got so excited when he mentioned “I Believe in Love” it’s such an amazing book!!! 😍
3:00 I suffer from scrupulosity, and one healing thing that I have learned for myself is actually a biblical teaching; divert or close the eyes if I see someone distracting. I keep my eyes closed during the Mass, except at the sign of peace, the consecration, or if I have to serve in some compacity. Looking away, or closing the eyes has been a great help.
This is not a help. It's an avoidance behavior driven by a compulsion that comes from the scrupulosity, which is really a form of OCD. What will help long-term is proper ERP treatment through a specialist, a therapist. Speaking from personal experience. I know the suffering can be great and invisible, so people should know there is a better way forward.
Dear Matt,
My name is Evan. i’m 22 now and have been dealing with scrupulosity for 4 years now. at the beginning i was worried about things like “i’m lying because i didn’t really read the terms and conditions” or “i’m too scared that Saturday is still the day i’m supposed to worship and rest on”. i’ve grown over the years and understand why they are wrong (at least the saturday one), but now i’m dealing with things like Romans 14:23 where “But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin”. This terrifies me since now i feel that all the things i let go of in the past 4 years that i was only “pretty sure” wasn’t a sin have to be prevented again. it has brought me to tears even at work sometimes with anxiety, stress, and doubt of the faith that my mind has even had thoughts of giving up the faith or even thoughts of suicide (neither of which do i have ANY intention of doing right now, but i’m scarred that will change someday if this gets worse). i don’t know if i understand romans 14 the way it was intended, so im hoping i don’t have to go down that road from my past again, but i don’t want to just “ignore it” because it seems incredibly hard for me. i’ve been talking to a priest for the good part of these 4 years, but he seems so lenient on what’s sinful now and i’m unsure if it’s because it’s the truth or if he just doesn’t want me to worry anymore. i tried asking another priest and he disagreed with my long-term priest who i’ve worked with on this scrupulosity, so i don’t know if i can even trust him anymore. i don’t know what i’m required to do and i just want to feel free again. What should i do? Am i required to refrain from everything that i have any doubts on whether it’s sinful (like reading terms and conditions or what jokes i’m allowed to make or laugh at)?
P.S.
some of the things i asked the two priests were the following:
1. can i make jokes about cultural accents when i think they sound funny?
2. When does eating too much sugar/added sugar become glutinous?
3. is complaining a sin if i just want to verbalize that i’m upset even if i’m just composing at home alone out loud while playing a game or thinking about my day?
4. is being competitive and wanting to be better at my hobbies than others who do it a sinful pride or a good pride? i want everyone to do their best but i feel bad when others constantly beat me.
5. i have an eccentric person skirt with wanting to ignore social norms that i find oppressive and worry that not trying to fit into my culture’s norms will cause others to either dislike me or be scandalized and not want to be apart of the faith do to my eccentricities/disregard for those norms. (the norms i’m referring to is like being slightly louder at group gatherings, tons of joking, and not keeping my car clean).
6. is being headstrong(as in being stubborn and wanting to do things your own way regardless of outside opinion) (and liking being that way) a sin?
Thank you for the help 🙏
#askmattfradd Dear Matt, how can I fall in love with prayer? Unfortunately, it sometimes feels like a chore. Thank you.
I've heard that you need to keep showing up and praying anyways. Persevering through dryness is worth more to the Lord than when he gives you warm feelings in prayer. Does your parish give you access to formed.org? They have a good program about lectio divina by Tim Gray you might find helpful...
Hi G O’Neil..This is going to sound totally weird, but I’ll be vulnerable to help you..Sometimes my prayers are like having a best friend next to me, all through out the day and I actually joke about things I see or hear.. or even pray in a light funny way- sometimes to Mary like a sister or an earthly Mom (I have neither) after all, God made humor and laughter as well! LOL
I pray formal prayers like the Rosary, and honor God appropriately, etc. But I dont want a relationship with God like He is my school teacher or boss at work. He died for me! Best love story ever
@@SC047074 hey Susanna, thank you so much! You're absolutely right, establishing a permanent conversation with God and Mary is beautiful. Thanks for your kind reply :)
@@nyakanyasko true! I'll stick to it. Thank you
+Susanna Palermo After reading your comment, one question came to mind: is that how the saints used to pray? They all seemed to have a permanent intimacy with Christ, but I never heard any of them doing something of this sort.
Matt this was very informative. I struggled with pornography addiction for years. It also took years to overcome it. And. Honestly I still daily rely on my “weapons” to fight it. Frequent (sometimes more than weekly) confession during that period with the same priest was a great check on this. Call this “accountability”, or spiritual direction, or whatever, but the hardest part was to keep going to confession even though it was so humbling to fall the same way so many times. Can’t overemphasize this, just keep going to the same holy/knowledgeable person no matter what. And when you fail at going, start again.
By some miracle, Not only did this sin fall away (it’s still always lurking), but I began to shockingly love confession. What I gained was great weapons (confession, ejaculatory prayer etc.) in my many struggles that i love to wield. But Confession is still humbling, but now it seems like running to a parent for help that you are okay being vulnerable with.
Just one more thing, it was either Paul or Aquinas who said ‘some sins sins you stand and fight and some you flee from’. I suggest you flee from sins of the flesh. In other words, don’t chance the near occasion of sin, if you see a attractive girl, look the other way and say a quick prayer for strength. Only you will know, let’s not be scrupulous either. Just like if you are on a diet, you shouldn’t “innocently” peak in the refrigerator. By the way, fasting and prayer is also a great tool recommended by the saints for “lust of the flesh”.
#askmattfradd I feel like it's impossible for God to be happy with me because everything is touched by the fall, like even my best deeds are filthy rags, and it will be this way no matter how hard I try, until I die or Jesus returns. I'm not enough and it hurts, even though I know Jesus is enough and reconciles all my shortcomings. I've always felt like there's this divide between me and Him, even though Jesus has bridged the gap and I'm grateful. For years I've asked God not to reject me just because I can't "feel" the way I ought, though I know faith isn't always a feeling and that he won't just pass me by. (I also know that some of this comes from childhood trauma, as feeling disconnected/blocked is a pervasive theme in my life with other people as well, but it's most troubling in my relationship with the Lord and Idk how to fix it or if it can/needs to be fixed) I'm not exactly sure what my question is here or if I'm even making sense but I was hoping you could offer some clarity or input.
Hi there, I'm also struggling with this disconnectedness from God. Wanting his peace and closeness and its not there at times. And when it is there I feel loved and safe and when the feeling goes I get scared he's not with me/doesn't exist and it's all a fabric of my imagination. Then I worry Satan is working in me leading me astray and end up in this mental battle about which spiritual forces are in me. Very tiresome. Don't know how to cope sometimes.
#askmattfradd Something that I really struggle with is listening to God. He seems so silent with me and then sometimes (oftentimes) I become disinterested in prayer because I feel like I'm talking into an empty echoing cave at times with no response. Everyone preaches the importance of prayer, so I want to get good at it-and just GET IT...get WHY I MUST do it. Do you have a healthy vibrant prayer life? If you do, please tell me how I can achieve that because I feel like I'm not doing it right. Thanks mate
I know this is 3 years ago. But I’m just finding all these videos. So, I watched another with Father Mike. On how we don’t ever lose our faith once we have it. We sometimes just lose touch with it/God. He did imply we could lose our salvation. I was brought up in a Protestant view of once saved always saved. Who believes what and why?
Why is this so specific to me. This past year has been difficult. I’m an ex Muslim atheist. But during the time I was atheist I was depressed and suicidal. I need God, even if it’s not true I can’t be sad any longer.
Jesus loves you! Read the book of John God will cleanse you with His Word and ask Jesus to heal your broken heart ❤️ He is closer than you think!
Matt! I love your videos and your enthusiasm for the faith and ministering to those of us with our own thorns in the flesh of carious types. I wanted to make two comments about your topics today. One, I am so glad to hear you talk about Scrupulosity as it is something I struggle with myself. The advice you gave was spot on and it is advice I have often had to remind myself of....over and over at times, but it does help. And it is very painful for those that suffer through it. If you can, please do a whole video on it in the future.
Also, I wanted to give my own remedy for habitual sin....2 actually, though they are related. 1. The Rosary. 2. The chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows. The change they made in me and my struggles to overcome certain habitual sins is nothing less than miraculous!
Please continue doing what you are doing and keep me in your prayers.
Ad Jesum Per Mariam!
Anthony
As a 23 years old cradle Catholic I'm LOSING faith in God. I mean I have so many QUESTIONS about God in general.
Love u mate! Thank u for understanding scrupulosity!
Thank you Matt. May GOD continue to bless you!
#askmattfradd
Dear Matt, what do you recommend to those who can’t feel God’s presence? I suffer from OCD/scrupulosity and for over a year now, I haven’t been able to feel God’s presence like I have in the past. I know many will say that we must walk by faith and not by feelings, but it’s still very tough and I miss those feelings of peace. Are there any books or other sources of information I should read and look into?
i suffered with OCD a lot
Same here.
For the last 5 years
Banjo Kazooie!!
Same here, 5+ years
Thanks for this. I also liked the book "30 Days to Stop Obsessing" by Harper.
God Bless The Fradsinator
Brother Fradd, Thank you for pointing out the term Scrupulosity.
Hi I am watching your youtube from South korea. I love your talk! I have question about the book you mentioned. I believe in love. It seems like there are two version. One is saying for persoanl retreat and the other one is just saying study guide book. Which one are reffering to?
I think he is referring to the actual book, “I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux” by Fr. Jean C. J. D’Elbee. (I have it, and it is excellent.) The study guide looks to simply be a supplement to the book-ideal if you want to dig deeper or study the book in a book club or small group discussion. Hope this helps!
Elisabeth Tobias Thank you very much for your info!
This is perfect timing Matt, thank you so much 😊 You are as always the best!
#askmattfrad When we say God's divine mercy prevails over his justice, it's so beautiful and makes me want to cry out loud in joy..but the inner struggle is in understanding how this impacts the perpetrators of such heinous crimes..like for eg, isn't it the slightest bit unfair to victims of severe forms of child sexual abuse or any forms of abuse? Also, if you could inform us as to what is truly God's view regd abuse directed towards little children?? Thanks!
Thanks for the time and thought that you putt into these videos, Matt! I enjoy your insights, and in this video, I especially appreciate your thoughts around scrupulosity.
I suffer from the concept of Trinity. It did not bother me before, but when I read the Catechism, as soon as it became quite clear to me I became more confused. When I say God, when I see the word God, when I pray to God there's like this voice " Who are you referring to? Who are you praying to?". It's frustrating!
👍🏻👍🏻’s up! Smile when you speak? I’m going to start using that one. God Bless 🙏🏻
Scrupulosity is a bad thing This is good advice it's the other extreme to presumption
Dear good Sir, I am catholic and it has always been a struggle for me to defend the faith when it comes to the topic of saints and Mary. Whenever my friends (protestant & muslim) asks about how saints could hear a million prayers at the same time when these saints are mere humans and not omnipotent like God. I hope you could help me with this. God bless and thank you. #askmattfradd
Jo Perez Catholic Answers is a wonderful resource for every question regarding apologetics, and they have many articles and videos about the Saints. Their RUclips channel is Catholic Answers. May God bless you!
Hi Jo, I believe the reason for the “attack” on Mary and Saints comes straight from the serpent. His goal is to take soles .. Lucifer’s jealousy of humans was the catalyst for his entire fall. Mary is the new Eve and all the Angels are her army against Satan. Therefor, she is his biggest threat. That is why the Rosary is so powerful, thats why the Hail Mary is said over and over again in the Rosary. Satan will do whatever he can to steal souls, he is deeply jealous of Saints and all human souls, and Mary leads the Army. Remember even Los Angelas CA, full name is actually - "El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río Porciúncula" (in English, "town of our lady the Queen of Angels of the River Porciúncula").
I hope this helps!!
Jo Perez You can check this document, “Any friend of God is a friend of mine”, written by Patrick Madrid.
patrickmadrid.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/anyfriendofGod1.pdf
#askmattfradd Matt I really believe that suffering and tribulations are God's imprint on a (fortunate) person and the more a person progresses in spirit, the heavier crosses he will bear.
Matt honestly I'm living a pretty easy life. I have no complaints with the environment I'm in. But, this would lead me into thinking that maybe something is not right here, that I'm missing something, far greater(in spirit). But then I'm also reminded that what I have are his blessings and have no right to complain. I'm at a paradox. Please do help.
Hi, Matt! Awesome video. Hope you had a great weekend. God bless you.
Matt I love your videos. I live for them each week!
These videos are so great. Thanks. Cheers from Brasil
Thank you Matt
Thanks Matt
Whoever may see this, please know that the advice here on scrupulosity is outdated. If you're suffering from ongoing severe scrupulosity, then don't follow this advice. If it's severe then it is not a spiritual issue primarily. It is really OCD. You need a therapist who specializes in ERP. Spiritual direction can be an aid, but the only thing that will treat scrupulosity (which is a religious OCD) is the proper form of therapy. Spiritual directors are not trained in ERP. Many therapist aren't either. Find a specialist in ERP.
OCD is at tricky disease to pinpoint. It is often missed by confessors. Trying to do more spiritual reading or prayerful devotions to "counter" the scrupulosity will actually just make it worse in the long-term. It's the OCD that's making you think you need to "just do some more prayer" or "just do more religious research." It's feeding into the cycle of compulsive behaviors.
Catholics who don't have religious OCD (scrupulosity) do not have to worry about these things. But people who do have religious OCD actually need to adjust their spiritual practices to have more relaxed expectations. It's a real pathology, and the Christian ascetic tradition has always acknowledged that people with any form of illness need to take care of their minds/bodies/souls.
Speaking from experience. Not making any of this up.
Thanks #AskMattFradd very good advice, done ir and os going well. By the way I'm not a bloke I' a woman and fan of your wife podcast Among the lilies :) . Good Spanish....
"G'day" flying that Australian flag eh Matt
I'm not struggling with scruples I just done a confession and I thought of a sin that I committed that I forgot to confess
This is a Godsend. I suffer from scrupulosity, and it dose get hard and confusing a lot of the times. especially when it comes time for receiving the Eucharist. Do you have any suggestions on how to find a proper spiritual director?
I suffer from this as well. I've been emailing back and forth with a Benedictine monk and he has been very helpful.
#askmattfradd How should we consider the controversy of the Church in the past? I'm mostly referring to the Church's history in Europe.
Getting a spiritual direction is very difficult.
How do Catholics deal with depression? Do we fight it or let it consume us ?
Obviously getting dead drunk is sinful, but how far can you go? It is wrong to drink until you are buzzed?
Christianity is more than just a set of rules, it’s a connection with the creator of our universe!
#askmattfradd why is becoming catholic so intimidating? I feel like I can’t walk up and talk to the priest unless I schedule an appointment or get an invitation. Love your videos looking into becoming catholic.
A good start would be attending Mass regularly and receiving the Blessing of Christ at Communion. While the Eucharist must only be received by a practicing Catholic who's in a State of Grace, anyone at any stage in their life can receive the Blessing by placing the right hand over the heart (or by crossing both arms across the chest, either is fine) when it's your turn, which let's the priest (or Eucharistic Minister) know to grant you the Blessing. The feelings of intimidation will dissipate accordingly, and trust in Our Lord will grow.
I did this for several months before checking out RCIA, after personal events in my own life turned my attention towards the big questions about the relationship between the Divine and humanity, etc, and the entire time was a very good experience.
THAT was a brilliant analogy! That hoopdy is not going to make it to Cali!
God bless and ATL represent!
#askmattfradd hi Matt loving your episodes. I’m a year sober and life has never been better for me but I’m avoiding communion as I don’t want the wine. I know it becomes he blood of Christ... but for me it’s still wine and I’m scared. Can I take the bread and not the wine, will my priest understand if I speak to him?
J Wells, as Catholics, we believe that Jesus is fully present even in the smallest crumb of the Eucharist. So while the Blood of Christ is amazing, beautiful, and spiritually filling, receiving the Body of Christ in just the bread is enough as well. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I hope this helps. God Bless!
#askmattfradd Can you explain the benedictine bracelets for me? I have one of them, but I want to know what it means and how to explain it to others. Thanks so much!
To anyone struggling with pornography..pray the FULL rosary (Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries all in one day.) Look up Mother Mary's 15 promises to St. Dominic for those who pray the full Rosary every day (Also look up GabiAfterHours or Father Don Calloway videos on the power of the Rosary). I can personally attest to how praying 4 Rosary's a day (4 when including the Luminous mysteries) has completely transformed my life...including no more pornography and lust. I recommend praying at least 1 Rosary in the morning before work, 1 Rosary when you get home from work/school, and 1 Rosary before bed. We have more time than we think. It's all about discipline and persistence. God Bless!
#askmattfradd Can you please do a video on what movies we can watch as practicing Catholics with children? I tend to tell my husband to turn it off once I've hear swear words. Thank you in advance. God bless you.
Thanks for this but what is considered bad leisure
NOICE!
#askmattfradd Hi Matt! Thank you for everything! I’d like to be anonymous when you mention my question: How can I help my significant other who struggles with porn? My understanding from talking with him is that it can be dangerous or bad for both him and I if we talk about it too much, but knowing how vicious the battle is, I want to help him in fighting this vice if I can. Any tips?
#askmattfradd what do you do when you feel bored with Prayer? I mean I used to Pray with devotion and now I have to force myself to Pray, especially the Rosary. I want that to stop, so what do I do?
#askmattfradd You've mentioned spiritual directors in the past. What constitutes (or how do you discern what is) a good spiritual director?
#askmattfrad my father has sexually and emotionally abused me for many years so because of this, random impure thoughts of him come to mind-any good Catholic websites or books you recommend? Also pray for me!😊
Corina Avelar .. Hi Corina.. I too was abused and last year my aunt urged me to tell a priest in confession. I thought that was weird because it wasn’t MY sin, so why would I do that? I tried it, and oh my goodness I felt an enormous weight off my body. It was incredible. I told the priest how I reacted to it, such as harming myself, etc. Boy did he make me strong. I cried for a while after that but in a good way. I felt light and free. Give it a try. God bless you 🤗
Susanna Palermo awww thankyou!!! That really helps! Yes I have done that! The priest recommends I pray to St.Maria Goretti!!!
Report him , god is not gonna help you, go to the police
@@Justme-zo3jy Did it ever occur to you that a person other than the legal side needs personal help. And sometimes it's easier for someone who suffers from such major maltreatment/ crime to talk to someone who does not fully see you. (Confessional) This person may then be able to call on the help of a psychologist / therapist , Apart from the fact that in some areas, the law prevents a perpetrator from being prosecuted a few decades after the crime happened or that those who should actually support one seize every opportunity to place a grave complicity on the victim of rape.
Corina Avelar St.Maria Goretti is the PERFECT to pray to in your situation. I am praying for you 🙏🏻 Please don’t be hard on yourself about these “random thoughts.” It’s not your fault what happened to you and something like that can be hard from keeping out of your mind. Thank you for being strong enough to share your story
#askmattfradd I am severely scrupulous and have not received communion in the better part of a year. I go to confession almost every week and have been having thoughts like "Why should I go to confession if I know I'm just going to go back again in a few days?" I do not want to go down this path... do you have any advice to keep these thoughts away?
#askmattfradd Hi Mat! What are your thoughts on smoking week recreationally?
Can God draw a greater good from our sons after we repent?
#askmattfradd
What is your opinion on modesty?
Joel from India
not married - to go on a date is an anticatholic advice. and nothing kills sins of impurity like Our Lady and God Himself. Prayer, Pennance, fasting. It's not something that can be wiped out by eraser, but by Prayer and struggle. Noone is getting healed from any addiction nor attachment without God's Strength, Grace, and those struggles can become our Cross for The Glory of God. Also, be careful at which people you're looking at, for especially in those scenaries themselves are provoking on purpose. Sometimes it happens it doesn't come out of your own mind, but from that subject your looking at.
How come this guy look like the Pints with aquinas guy?
Hmmm. This is the same guy as the Pints with Aquinas guy. Isn't he?
i've recently thought about doing RCIA, however i have some questions because some things are still fairly new to me. can you answer my question below.
So having relations with the same sex is a sin, and we should pray for those who engage in this, but there are happily married same sex couples and while marriage is a union & to welcome children, same sex couples can still have children through adoption & medical options. i agree that man & woman were created for one another but I'm still having a hard time with same sex relationships as a sin because there a same sex couples out there that are not suffering in their marriage. it seems wrong to pray for a same sex couple to no longer be together if they have children together. I understand that we shouldn't discriminate against anyone with same sex attraction-which i also agree, but for those who decide to have a same sex relationship rather than remain single why is that "horrible" if they have a committed relationship and don't have sex until marriage. i understand that this is a sinful act, but can you explain the happiness & healthy relationship part? how is it sinful if people are in healthy, happy monogamous relationships?
#askmattfradd, I’m curious to know how you read the Bible and believe what it says and are still catholic.
Hi brother, I was Southern Baptist for 23 years and became Catholic; 14 years ago. My answer is the first "1400" years of Christianity. Of course I am not opposed to worship in any christian church- the catholic church, being and becoming catholic was and is quite special. I have an understanding of what you are stating. I find that Christians have much more in common than differences.
#askmattfradd what does my Protestant friend mean by “all sins are equal”?
Non catholics believe thatall sins are equal meaning they dont believe in mortal or benial sins they think there all the same
Who would win in a fight Zeus or Christ
Christ. He is omnipotent, and omniscient. All powerful, and all knowing
First!😁
can you answer this WHY DO CATHOLICS CALL ARCHANGEL MICAHEL ( MichaeL) A SAINT? OR SAINT RAPHAEL FOR THAT MATTER - saints and angels are two different things - saints are humans that are walking in God's perfect will - ARCHANGELS WHO SERVE HIM ARE ALWAYS IN HIS WILL angels were created before man - only men can become saints??/ We can become an : angel" only as the definition of a " one who brings a message" not an angel created before man - really makes me pause and grit my teeth when " say the prayer of Saint Michael - ahhh isn't the Archangel Michael wothy to be called the Aarchangl that He is ????
In the Catholic Church, archangels are sometimes called saints as a sign of respect and honor. The word "saint" comes from the Latin word sancta, which means "holy". Since angels are automatically holy once they are in heaven, the term "saint" can be used to describe them as well as humans.For example, the Catholic Church named Saint Michael the Archangel a saint because of his leadership role as the chief angel. As a reward for his loyalty to God, Michael defeated Satan and cast him out of Paradise. He also has other roles, including being the Christian angel of death, weighing people's merits on Judgment Day, and serving as the Guardian of the Church.
Other archangels, such as Gabriel and Raphael, are also revered as saints in many Christian traditions, including Catholicism. Catholics pray to archangels because they believe God has entrusted them with a mission to help people, fight evil, and spread the Word of God.
Matt.... I have a whole lotta cigars amd whiskey... Come to Nebraska... We have a whole whole lotta open beautiful land. Talk about getting away from the world!
Religion: "How to get money from your pocket into mine?"
please, be careful in doing this work if you partook it, in answering the questions. advice not your own advices but what Good Catholic priest and Catholic Church Herself would Advice, and even if it would cut off a half of your viewers. (but there will be the real viewer, don't worry. It's better gold than stuff-like-gold, and it will be difficult if not in the beginning, it will get difficult anyway, Work for Christ Is Always Pleasantly Difficult, for It Is A Meriting of Christ's Kingdom.) God Bless you.
First of all, the way our church teaches my first cousin the Blessed Mother,leads to doubt. It is more appropriate to teach Mary is the mother of Jesus Christ and queen of Heaven,but you have to stop teaching she is everyones family. Dictators,Inquisiters, kings, queens, and ev erything else have tried to prove they are Gods family. So, change that lie that Mary is everyones family to pray to her as Christs mother,not everyonres mother,and thwen have faith.
Don’t say Stup-d
No... no beer no cigar... i dont think that is a good advice🙄
Unsubbing because of the rampant child abuse in the Catholic church.
Jason you know the church has been filled with sinners since the beginning? Im staying aboard the salvation boat