Hey, I'm a first time watcher. I recently realised the same thing. You need to be the full person for yourself. I think the next step is taking the risk again, because there is no "right feeling" when it comes to are you ready or not. You need to make the step and take a risk. Trust yourself. Also, I like the unstructured videos. It's probably also good for your own reflection. Writing about it could be even better. Tinkering with your ideas and perceptions. I've been tackling my self-concept and other stuff like that. Learning how to walk.
What’s really, “Devine” about this is that, no lie, I’ve been watching your videos since my freshman year of college (summer of 2016) and I remember just always thinking “This is like a mirror” and funny enough I too had a relationship with my ex go SOUTH and it culminated in me being homeless/displaced for a bit under a year and while I know that we both were NOT in good headspaces, it’s always hard to sift through feelings as your transitioning to new chapters in life. And the honest to God’s truth is I thought about you about a week ago and I see you’ve literally updated us!! It just made me so happy to see you’re in your own space with a animal (which is fantastic for mental health most days cause pets are known to do “pet stuff” lol). Like it’s just a beautiful thing to see you be able to emerge and still make efforts to take care of yourself the best you can! Proud of you and always have been! Much Love from Nashville🖤
Preach to: - shopping around and trying different therapists - being open to fixing it ^^ - moving back in with your parents (and being ok with that either working out for longer or being a short term thing) - being financially independent and always working towards an F off fund (I’ve known about this years and stiiilllll don’t have enough saved to live for 3 months without staying in a job/relationship I’m unhappy in, dw!)
Great advice. I will say that you look happier. Your energy is different I can tell you have moved on from that ex. I like how you articulate your thoughts and you can really help a lot of people with your experience
My situation was getting stuck with a rent increase after I put notice on my lease (because me and my person were going to move in together, then they got “cold feet” and I was forced to resign with a 20% increase on my one bed). I’m glad I took the hit (not that I had much choice), because I took it as a sign to get a higher paying job AND find a cheaper/more economically sensible solo living situation. I stuck it for about 18 months and managed to save to get a 1 bed affordable housing flat (needed a deposit and slightly higher salary).
Same here. Got wind of his cheating, he neither denied nor admitted it. I let it go but my walls went up. Then the final straw was he forgot my birthday. I just went no contact and finally after a month just broke it off. I still miss him but i just try to recall all his transgressions and im comforted that i made the right decision. Loving an avoidant is death by a thousand cuts
Hi Ryan, firstly ur cat is so cute!!! Also thanks for sharing this notsoeasy stuff to talk about. Been cheated on ofc and so totally get this convo. I slightly politely disagree that two people cant find a healthy relationship until they are both "happy" but i understand what u saying.i wud say there is a sort of "tipping point" in your mental health where u start finding people who are not healthy for you if you dont know who you really are or are too willing to abandon yourself. But thats me being pedantic. You asked for posts about us in the last vid so i will post my response here in a bit. Also its funny, u get into the flow of ur vids and start talking good advice and then stop and check yourself lol! I say: keep going xD the "rambling" is probably actually the most interesting stuff in the age of "15 second goldfish vids only"
So in context: I found your vids because of your focus on avoidants. Interestingly my avoidant "situationship" has recently blocked me as I tried to reach out to her when she wasn't talking. Still feeling the pain 3.5 months in, but I'm coping enough, struggling sometimes, but I've had worse! I moved to france from the uk many years ago and now I'm thinking of moving back because I'm sorta burnt out of things not getting better here. There are definite huge positives here and I had my own strong reasons for moving but many clouds look darker and darker here and I'm just fed up of how certain dice have rolled here and certain circumstance has panned out. But c'est la vie! roll with the punches, as it were. Politics is interesting, you briefly mentioned it in the last vid, unfortunately it hits us all and certainly does myself. Definitely go with the music stuff I learnt the guitar years ago and it helped me no end when i felt like improving myself in my spare time. Regarding 2024, no resolutions, I'm simply looking for more peaceful places to chill out in and chances to tune out the noise of obviously destructive people. And ofc any mental health or philosophy that comes my way lol!
Also I still think she will come back but it's been a really strange experience, basically nothing I can do, completely out of my power. Stoicism definitely keeps me going at present!
Hello bro i am from india and i have watched your video about the fear of fireworks and i have the same problem and i am planning to study abroad to a country please help me about this and now diwali is near and so just think how much i stressed 😭
Hey, I'm a first time watcher. I recently realised the same thing. You need to be the full person for yourself. I think the next step is taking the risk again, because there is no "right feeling" when it comes to are you ready or not. You need to make the step and take a risk. Trust yourself. Also, I like the unstructured videos. It's probably also good for your own reflection. Writing about it could be even better. Tinkering with your ideas and perceptions. I've been tackling my self-concept and other stuff like that. Learning how to walk.
What’s really, “Devine” about this is that, no lie, I’ve been watching your videos since my freshman year of college (summer of 2016) and I remember just always thinking “This is like a mirror” and funny enough I too had a relationship with my ex go SOUTH and it culminated in me being homeless/displaced for a bit under a year and while I know that we both were NOT in good headspaces, it’s always hard to sift through feelings as your transitioning to new chapters in life. And the honest to God’s truth is I thought about you about a week ago and I see you’ve literally updated us!! It just made me so happy to see you’re in your own space with a animal (which is fantastic for mental health most days cause pets are known to do “pet stuff” lol). Like it’s just a beautiful thing to see you be able to emerge and still make efforts to take care of yourself the best you can! Proud of you and always have been! Much Love from Nashville🖤
Preach to:
- shopping around and trying different therapists
- being open to fixing it ^^
- moving back in with your parents (and being ok with that either working out for longer or being a short term thing)
- being financially independent and always working towards an F off fund (I’ve known about this years and stiiilllll don’t have enough saved to live for 3 months without staying in a job/relationship I’m unhappy in, dw!)
Great advice. I will say that you look happier. Your energy is different I can tell you have moved on from that ex. I like how you articulate your thoughts and you can really help a lot of people with your experience
My situation was getting stuck with a rent increase after I put notice on my lease (because me and my person were going to move in together, then they got “cold feet” and I was forced to resign with a 20% increase on my one bed). I’m glad I took the hit (not that I had much choice), because I took it as a sign to get a higher paying job AND find a cheaper/more economically sensible solo living situation. I stuck it for about 18 months and managed to save to get a 1 bed affordable housing flat (needed a deposit and slightly higher salary).
Same here. Got wind of his cheating, he neither denied nor admitted it. I let it go but my walls went up. Then the final straw was he forgot my birthday. I just went no contact and finally after a month just broke it off. I still miss him but i just try to recall all his transgressions and im comforted that i made the right decision.
Loving an avoidant is death by a thousand cuts
I'm proud of you that you left! And I wish you all the best for your healing. It's going to be okay.
Hi Ryan, firstly ur cat is so cute!!! Also thanks for sharing this notsoeasy stuff to talk about. Been cheated on ofc and so totally get this convo.
I slightly politely disagree that two people cant find a healthy relationship until they are both "happy" but i understand what u saying.i wud say there is a sort of "tipping point" in your mental health where u start finding people who are not healthy for you if you dont know who you really are or are too willing to abandon yourself.
But thats me being pedantic.
You asked for posts about us in the last vid so i will post my response here in a bit. Also its funny, u get into the flow of ur vids and start talking good advice and then stop and check yourself lol! I say: keep going xD the "rambling" is probably actually the most interesting stuff in the age of "15 second goldfish vids only"
So in context: I found your vids because of your focus on avoidants. Interestingly my avoidant "situationship" has recently blocked me as I tried to reach out to her when she wasn't talking. Still feeling the pain 3.5 months in, but I'm coping enough, struggling sometimes, but I've had worse!
I moved to france from the uk many years ago and now I'm thinking of moving back because I'm sorta burnt out of things not getting better here. There are definite huge positives here and I had my own strong reasons for moving but many clouds look darker and darker here and I'm just fed up of how certain dice have rolled here and certain circumstance has panned out. But c'est la vie! roll with the punches, as it were.
Politics is interesting, you briefly mentioned it in the last vid, unfortunately it hits us all and certainly does myself.
Definitely go with the music stuff I learnt the guitar years ago and it helped me no end when i felt like improving myself in my spare time. Regarding 2024, no resolutions, I'm simply looking for more peaceful places to chill out in and chances to tune out the noise of obviously destructive people. And ofc any mental health or philosophy that comes my way lol!
Also I still think she will come back but it's been a really strange experience, basically nothing I can do, completely out of my power. Stoicism definitely keeps me going at present!
I'm so glad to see you doing well. You make some great points. Anastasia is of course as beautiful as ever.
Your hair!!!!! But you still look the same.
Miss you Ryan, glad to hear you’re in a better place.
👸🏻🍑 4 life.
Hello bro i am from india and i have watched your video about the fear of fireworks and i have the same problem and i am planning to study abroad to a country please help me about this and now diwali is near and so just think how much i stressed 😭