I think it depends on what a person’s goals in life are . And I feel what leads people to bashing marriage is because of the experiences they see from people around them I.e not seing healthy marriages, married people being unfaithful. Marriage is a blessing ☺️🙏🏾.
Like Mr Koena said, “it is an achievement if is one’s goal”. Personally I don’t wish to get married, it might change in the future, MAYBE! So if I make a statement to say “marriage is not an achievement” it should never be taken from a point of “oh she is jealous or bitter”. No! I am not! It is not an achievement FOR ME! People need to stop normalizing the idea that “everyone should get married”. Is not always the case! Other are not or will not get married because of circumstances and other will be because of choice, PERIOD!! We are from different backgrounds and we are raised differently. So our views will never be the same. As people we just don’t value the same things the SAME WAY!!
Well put sis, i am definitely on the same page as you, I admire people who can make that kind of commitment, but I am not envious of their lives, I feel like there is so much more to life
I think marriage is more of a blessing than an achievement. God said be "fruitful and multiply" and we know that multiplication, in a biblical context, requires unity and that unity (in itself) is a blessing from God. I don't feel like marriage is a linear thing because like you said the next level is saying married.
I think the issue lies in our definition of achievement. As you guys said, achievement is a personal thing. We don’t all subscribe to the same values and therefore what’s an achievement for one person may not be for another. Also our level of social consciousness has evolved. Women are occupying spaces across the board that we weren’t privy to whereas our condition prior was such that we aspired to marriage. So the real debate I think is between the traditionalist type of women who want to marry, raise children and build a home versus the “modern” quintessential cosmopolitan type of women who want to do it all. The issue with doing it all is that there are trade offs and most often than not, relationships take the backseat. That dissonance is why you’ll hear rhetoric like “marriage isn’t an achievement”.. lol. Think it’s also important to note that this is a very nuanced discussion because people aren’t monolithic. We all go through things as individuals and some not so good which then informs our views and influences our decisions. Great content guys as always 💜
Most people think that it's mostly men that benefit in marriage more than women. Most women are afraid of being married to people that are not going to accept them for who they are especially if they were independent before they got married, they're afraid that marriage may change that.
Hey gator gang, We strongly believe marriage is an achievement, hape it’s not easy finding the love of your life. Like Mr Koena said if it’s one of your goals then definitely it is an achievement and it should be celebrated. You know those Twitter people that tell you not to celebrate a new car because it’s still owed by the bank? They are the same ones that bash those people that celebrate marriage as an achievement. Let’s continue to make marriage fashionable and celebrate it every chance we get.
Marriege is definitely an achievement if its something you wanted for whatever reason...however its subjective.If one is does not want to get married it does not mean they have underachieved in this aspect. Personally I love being married,its wonderful maan.
Is that OK though?arent we supposed to treat all people equally?and not respect people more just because they are married?because we all know there are a lot of married ppl out there that are cheating on their spouses and some even abusive.are we saying those people should be put on a pedestal just because they are married?
It’s not okay at all but there is some sort of superiority given to married couples, in the church, families, society, just on pure fact that they are married. One begins to think that women are told to “bekezela” because it’s as if, if they leave, they lose that status. These are teachings that need to change and I guess we are that generation, questioning it
@@THEKOENAS exactly.i feel like if we say marriage is an achievement,then people in terrible marriages have a fear of leaving because then the achievement turns to failure.of course marriage is a beautiful and powerful institution.and it takes faith and great courage to get into it(if the intentions are pure).but if we say its an achievement then any tom dick and herry can run to the altar and say "i did it!"
A wedding is not a thing for me - but a successful Kingdom marriage is defs an achievement in my books! There is work, there is dedication, a commitment and exams too. Asi pap n vleis
I agree with Mr and Mrs Koena here ! “Marriage is an achievement” is such a personal thing. I’ve had this debate with so many friends. For me it was a goal, I love love and I love relationships and my goal was to end up getting married! Mama I made it 💃🏾. then you get those ones as Mrs Koena said that will hate on women who says it’s an achievement. 🌚 Each to his own bethuna!👏🏾. If it’s not for you then let us people who think it is be. And vise versa♥️
Thank you so much for this video. 🙌🏾💯👌🏾 There are several aspects that always get overlooked when people have this discussion and we've been eager to share our views on this. In due time we'll soon unpack them. 😄 But we believe that marriage is an achievement. 😊
I think it is an achievement if you feel like its something that YOU want..and also people should stop making it weird just because people want marriage and find it to be an achievement!!!! Most people aka women who have wanted it and don't get it sometimes have a negative stance on it just because they have not gotten it. Each to their own too...but lets allow people to want what they want!!!
From my perspective, Marriage is not an achievement but a blessing from God. Can also be a goal for those that are not yet married but also that goal is dependent on God himself
Marriage is not an achievement but a good healthy marriage is definitely an achievement to/for both partners in it (I would like to believe) , I know I would have achieved so much when I get to live a healthy good marriage, it's one of my goals honestly, not yet married but I do want to get married and live a good healthy one.Though I understand not an achievement for people looking from the outside and it is okay.
Good healthy marriage is one that are equally yoked Not all marriages are good, healthy and one should leave instead of holding on for the sake of ‘achievement’
@@TheMlangenis good and healthy relationships don't just happen by chance I mean every relationships not just romantic relationships, people work on it daily, chossing to love, choosing to forgive, choosing to serve,you can be equally yoked and still not to work on each other's relationship. So no I don't believe so.And if we gonna talk about leaving, it's a whole new big conversation cause the only good reason to leave your marriage is cheating according to the bible, and even after leaving you not allowed to remarry Achievement is something you work on daily.
@@boituchoma1632 definitely agreeing with working at it (from both partners) and it’s a daily choice to do so. We say equally yoked because we tend over look a lot of things in the pursuit of want to get marry & it’s happened that you marry someone which you only see during the marriage that’s it’s just not working Then there is the equally yoked which is in your agreement about working at it daily. Let’s park the leaving because we believe if it’s detrimental to your wellbeing then you leave Not just cheating but another example is abuse Also looking at scripture, let’s not isolate what the word say about Love (Eg if your partner abusing you where is the love, protect, kindness ect)
@@TheMlangenis see that's why I said leaving a marriage is can of worms. The bible is very clear on other topics and they're no grey areas. But honestly good healthy marriage just don't happen guys, nomatter what we can be equally yoked if you choose to ignore 1Corinthians 13 then your marriage is dead so to any other relationship you attached to in your life. Why do people even being equally yoked still divorce. It happenes because being equally work doesn't mean you will have good healthy marriage, or any relationship for that matter even in friendships. Nomatter what, with each day we serve the people we love, we forgive after they hurt us, we patient with them, we considerate and this is our daily activities and once we think we have done that they now become achievements. I can't expect to have a great good relationship just because I married married a person am equally yoked. My relationship would flop honestly if I go with mentality of having a healthy good relationship with anyone in my life without putting the work. Any relationship comes with a new clean page and it is what you make it, being equally yoked according to my understanding is agreeing on where you going as two people and when making decisions on your beliefs and values it won't be so hard for you guys since you believe in the same thing. Let's not alter the bible to what our reasons are at the time.It is very clear on divorce, and this doesn't mean if I personally get to get married and I feel my marriage is not based on 1Corinthians13 and even if they didn't cheat on me, that doesn't mean am not leaving and staying in a depressive state, I am leaving and will probably will remarry again. I will ask forgiveness from God and won't justify why I had to leave. Cause I know God was very clear on why I should divorce.I am not coming up with reason to God saying God I had to leave because my husband wasn't loving me, with even abuse I will definitely not leave but I will just ask forgiveness for leaving.
100% agree, it's an achievement, and those who keep saying it's not, are those who aren't married, because either they don't want it, or it's not coming. I want to get married, it's a goal, and it will be a blessing when it comes.
I feel like it is an achievement in the sense that you've chosen to be faithful to this one person. Through the trials and tribulations you choose to stay true to this person instead of taking the easy way out and choose to not be committed to one person. I feel like marriage is a lot of work, so it's an achievement😂🤷🏽♀️
I believe marriage is an achievement, because we are born to grow and share, you can never be alone for the rest of your life . And seeing what you guys share as a couple, it is definitely an achievement. God bless you
I believe marriage is what you want it to be at the end of the day lol to some of us its an achievement and some people aren't interested in it. But everyone must respect everyone else's opinion 🙏🏽. As Mr Mokoena says " you work for your marriage" it does not come as easy as people think, and you achieved your goal and you still need to put in the work while you're married to insure its a healthy marriage! As Miss Mokena says marriage is a blessings, marriage is an institution that is highly favored in the eyes of the lord honestly, so damn its Definitely has to be an achievement 😍🥰 for those who have been called for it. Its also so much deeper for Christians as you said its not just two people chilling and flexing🤣 which is what some people view it as. Within marriage is where you're supposed to create life, I don't want rant and rave cause not everyone is Christian and we respect that. But married or not married no one has the right to belittle what anyone deems as an achievement and we can not look down on those who believe its not an achievement. Both parties can be veerryyyy petty lol to try prove their point 🤣 Love your content 😍
When ma Mokoena said "the will of God and the grace of God that got me there can take me out and put me where I'm meant to be" wow I felt that thank you...I'm going thru a divorce and every now and then u ask urself if u made the right decision and if God is happy with what ur doing...its hard
Amen and amen! Pastor Pushie explains divorce so well. Check out The Wife on RUclips, presented by Mmatema. The very first episode. You will be blessed. It is well sis and you will never leave His grace❤️
For me it's not a big deal, I am happy for married people, but I also know that in reality it's a lot of work, because I was raised by a married couple,therefore I am not working hard towards becoming someone's wife one day. Nna lenyalo kea le tshaba guys
awwww you guys!!! Mrs.K - moghel you are looking awesome - ke kopa o tshware mo! from my side marriage is not an an achievement - if it was destined to be in your path, then yay, if it wasnt - same! Whatever lies in ones destiny we do not know and ya ... can married people stop having an upsy attitude to the ones that are not!!! yes its there! i know the attitude, it must stop! ( i know the attitudfe cause - I is married ) f*ck but it must stop!!!
We are bushes daily for being MARRIED njalo. We are told it will end in tears We are told it’s nothing serious We agree with you guys, if it’s a goal then you’ve achieved IT IS A DEFINITE ACHIEVEMENT for us that God has blessed us with. Marriage is a ministry Are we all called for it? As much as we desire it, is it a definite? Our thoughts #TheMlangenis #MCs
Shuuu! You’ve really opened up another thought. Is it a “many are called, few are chosen” kind of thing as well?🤔🤔 Good to see you fam! We come baaaack❤️
Yes, I think marriage is an achievement. 1. The success of a marriage is solely dependent on the couple (monogamous/polygamous). Therefore you define your own success and your way of doing this that work in your marriage 2. Marriage is mostly about giving. The ability to be a constant giver in a relationship to someone who is just as imperfect is a skill. Of course giving within parameters and reciprocal 3. Constantly forgiving your partner/s and yourself 4. The active act of being what your partner requires. Knowing that your partner appreciates certain things and doing them to make your partner happy even. Again reciprocal 5. If you lucky enough you find someone who loves you for just being yourself 6. Marriage is a commitment that you make to your partner "forever". To make such a commitment under conditions of uncertainty to me is an indication of true dedication and pure faith
Personally i believe marriage is an achievement to some certain extend..marriage is all about choosing who you want to do this journey of Life with..as people we were created to relate with one another and marriage is kinda a higher level of relation which not everyone is willing to go through..it's like intentionally putting value on someone regardless of their pitfalls,flaws and imperfection which will affect you as a partner if not dealt with accordingly and honestly who want to hear that there's so somebody who you will love the most and will definitely hurt you the most.but truly speaking it hurt you the most because you love them the most..To human beings that's very heavy to carry rather not be responsible for another woman child's life than be the reason they fell at some point..
Hey Mr & Mrs Buba! Interesting topic. I have a friend whose first reference of marriage/relationship (parents) wasn't a healthy one. So, he doesn't have the desire to get married. At face value, it's easy to say a person is bitter when you haven't heard what the person has been through, and to what extent it has affected them and their ideology of marriage. He hasn't see the need to.
I’m a new subscriber. Literally found you guys today and I legit watched all your videos today 😁😅. Anyway I think marriage is next level, next chapter. And it is not necessarily for all of us and that’s okay.
For me, it was definetly the end goal for our relationship. We worked towards it and we got there... We did have a sense of achievement. And now we keep achieving within the marriage by staying married, reaching our goals and growing our household. Being married doesn't make me superior to anyone. Lenyalo ga la abelwa rona rotlhe. But yah, we definetly felt a sense of achievement when we got married
Primary>>secondary>>University>>work>>marriage>>family/children. If obtaining a degree is an achievement then being married should also be an achievement. People like to put a face and dismiss being married because they have been hurt or don't have a good reference of married people.
I think the matter of whether marriage is an achievement or not is subjective. People have different goals and for some marriage isn’t one of them, for others is it but the reality is not everyone will get married. I think women were made to believe that getting married is an achievement hence they are the ones engaging more on the topic. The nice thing is people are more liberal now and young girls are being made aware of the fact that they do not have to get married in order to fit into society’s standards
I don’t really mind if people see marriage as an achievement or not however to me marriage is a blessing as Mrs Koena has said and to stay married is by grace. There are people who worked really hard to keep their marriages healthy and applied what the scriptures say but are divorced today hence I say having a good healthy marriage is by grace.
Yhooooooo, guys this topic; I must say replies are interesting. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, I am laughing cause I have realised how much my mindset has changed for the better even when it comes to marriage. Nna aketsebe hore ke achievement or not, I just wanna get married to a man who loves me. And we live happily ever after. Your background guys, is so beautiful. Wow! I love it. Mama Koena the fabric for your doek, ka kopa hle. It's beautiful. 👌 I love you guys.
Absolutely loved the video, so much wisdom also in the comment section. I really enjoyed watching and reading people's opinions. I was left with nothing to say but I have a broad perspective now.
I believe that marriage is a gift (from God) and not necessarily an achievement. My issue with people that like pointing out that "marriage is not an achievement" is that it normally comes from a malicious place and seeks to undermine the value and importance of the institution. It's okay not to be married and not want to be married but don't try to minimize married people's celebration of marriage or discourage those who desire it.
Personally I don’t think marriage is an achievement, I’m repeating what has already been said in the comments but personally as an unmarried person I don’t think I view marriage is an achievement because it’s all about whether God has that in the cards for you and if He doesn’t there’s no need to force things. So if we get married by God’s plan , how can we say we have achieved...maybe I’ll have a different view if I get married one day but the notion that married people are given more respect in society is one that I definitely think needs to change. Esp for women , it’s almost as if a woman is less than if she’s a certain age and not married which is not true.
Personally for me Ts not an achievement,iv been around people who are in toxic marriages n they are scared to leave because they will look like failures,
Marriage is not an achievement! This is not a bitter statement but is meant to encourage and affirm women that they are worthy, needed and beautiful outside of what society defines them to be. From birth girls are taught house chores to prepare them for marriage or to make them eligible for marriage. If you were not domesticated or couldn’t bare kids, you are deemed ineligible for marriage. So the statement is to affirm women who are not domesticated/ who are career driven/who cant fall pregnant/who do not want to be married/ who do not want kids.....all women; that having a man choose you for marriage is not the ultimate goal in life. We are worthy, magnificent and beautiful all on our own. Note that I am married but my opinion still is that Marriage is not an achievement. Having a healthy, loving and nurturing relationship/friendship is an Achievement regardless if you are legally married or not.
Absolutely love this statement!!!! Louder!!!!!!!! We agree 💯 and you are right, for some it’s a choice and for some, they really have no say at all and it’s not the be all and end all! Thank you so much sis❤️❤️
I don't believe marriage is an achievement. 1. It was never s goal for me when it found me so I regard it a blessing, never an achievement. 2.Marriage can be testing especially when we adjust to living together and holding space for each other. The achievement would be looking back 20 years later and you've built a good life, your bond is paid up and your children are amazing people. Then you've had a successful marriage and you've achieved. Saying "I do" is no achievement. People are living double lives out here and say they've achieved, no! It's the quality of the marriage over time.
Hey Gator gang My first time commenting, here is my 2 cents :P: I think people who say marriage is not an achievement because it seems like: 1. The girl child seems to be raised to aspire to get a man to marry her so it is almost like saying "Girl child you are enough on your own. You don't need to be married to feel like you are." 2. Also it is hard to understand why a woman could be happier on her own but choose to stay in a bad marriage with a bad man where she is abused and unhappy. Then you feel like saying it is not an achievement, it is okay to walk away if it is not working. Don't die in it and don't die for it. 3. Lastly, as a Christian who is not married, single women are looked down upon esp. in black churches where it is assumed you are single and not blessed and therefore looking for a man to marry you . Single, happy, content and blessed does not exist in church context. Anyway love your content guys
Hey Gator Gang!
Do you think marriage is an achievement or not?
Do share any other topics you’d like us to discuss on Koenas on Knuptials❤️
Hey Gators,le pila gore by the way ❤️ I think healthy marriage is an achievement also if it was a goal,anything either than that a ke sure🥴.
I think it depends on what a person’s goals in life are . And I feel what leads people to bashing marriage is because of the experiences they see from people around them I.e not seing healthy marriages, married people being unfaithful. Marriage is a blessing ☺️🙏🏾.
It depends on how a person is raised, for some people it's a blessing but some people see it as a "prison".
It depends...in both parties.
I believe getting married is a blessing but STAYING MARRIED is an achievement. Divorce is on the rise
Like Mr Koena said, “it is an achievement if is one’s goal”.
Personally I don’t wish to get married, it might change in the future, MAYBE!
So if I make a statement to say “marriage is not an achievement” it should never be taken from a point of “oh she is jealous or bitter”. No! I am not! It is not an achievement FOR ME!
People need to stop normalizing the idea that “everyone should get married”. Is not always the case! Other are not or will not get married because of circumstances and other will be because of choice, PERIOD!!
We are from different backgrounds and we are raised differently. So our views will never be the same.
As people we just don’t value the same things the SAME WAY!!
Absolutely love this sis! You are 💯 right. True, not everyone has to and not everyone will get married indeed.
We need to normalize that reality❤️
Thank you.you've put it soo perfectly.its really not fair to say just because some1 doesnt see marriage as an achievement then they are bitter.
Well put sis, i am definitely on the same page as you, I admire people who can make that kind of commitment, but I am not envious of their lives, I feel like there is so much more to life
We hear you loud and clear.
Society must chill with THIS/THAT
I think marriage is more of a blessing than an achievement. God said be "fruitful and multiply" and we know that multiplication, in a biblical context, requires unity and that unity (in itself) is a blessing from God.
I don't feel like marriage is a linear thing because like you said the next level is saying married.
Oh yesss! Come on fam❤️❤️
"I don't want to downplay the institution to massage people's feelings" 👌
Hey Gaitors, a *Happy Marriage* is an achievement, underline happy
We the Koenas baby!!!
WE COME BACK
😃
I think the issue lies in our definition of achievement. As you guys said, achievement is a personal thing. We don’t all subscribe to the same values and therefore what’s an achievement for one person may not be for another. Also our level of social consciousness has evolved. Women are occupying spaces across the board that we weren’t privy to whereas our condition prior was such that we aspired to marriage. So the real debate I think is between the traditionalist type of women who want to marry, raise children and build a home versus the “modern” quintessential cosmopolitan type of women who want to do it all. The issue with doing it all is that there are trade offs and most often than not, relationships take the backseat. That dissonance is why you’ll hear rhetoric like “marriage isn’t an achievement”.. lol. Think it’s also important to note that this is a very nuanced discussion because people aren’t monolithic. We all go through things as individuals and some not so good which then informs our views and influences our decisions. Great content guys as always 💜
Come on sis!!🔥🔥
You have really challenged our way of thinking and stretched this topic beyond surface value viewpoints!
Much appreciated ❤️❤️
Most people think that it's mostly men that benefit in marriage more than women. Most women are afraid of being married to people that are not going to accept them for who they are especially if they were independent before they got married, they're afraid that marriage may change that.
Learnt a new word "monolithic" thanks to this channel😊
I’m married and I think marriage is not an achievement but a GOOD marriage is .
Yes I so agree good and healthy marriage is an achievement
Indeed 👌🏿
Agreed!❤️❤️
MMA KOENA IS ALWAYS LAUGHING😂😂😂AND HER LAUGHTER IS CONTIGUOUS....I LOVE YOU GUYS
Hehe ❤️
Hey gator gang,
We strongly believe marriage is an achievement, hape it’s not easy finding the love of your life.
Like Mr Koena said if it’s one of your goals then definitely it is an achievement and it should be celebrated.
You know those Twitter people that tell you not to celebrate a new car because it’s still owed by the bank? They are the same ones that bash those people that celebrate marriage as an achievement.
Let’s continue to make marriage fashionable and celebrate it every chance we get.
Indeed fam, you couldn’t have said it better❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥇
Marriege is definitely an achievement if its something you wanted for whatever reason...however its subjective.If one is does not want to get married it does not mean they have underachieved in this aspect.
Personally I love being married,its wonderful maan.
My question is always if marriage is not an achievement why are married people given more respect than unmarried people?
Louder for the people at the back!!🔥🔥
Is that OK though?arent we supposed to treat all people equally?and not respect people more just because they are married?because we all know there are a lot of married ppl out there that are cheating on their spouses and some even abusive.are we saying those people should be put on a pedestal just because they are married?
It’s not okay at all but there is some sort of superiority given to married couples, in the church, families, society, just on pure fact that they are married. One begins to think that women are told to “bekezela” because it’s as if, if they leave, they lose that status.
These are teachings that need to change and I guess we are that generation, questioning it
@@THEKOENAS exactly.i feel like if we say marriage is an achievement,then people in terrible marriages have a fear of leaving because then the achievement turns to failure.of course marriage is a beautiful and powerful institution.and it takes faith and great courage to get into it(if the intentions are pure).but if we say its an achievement then any tom dick and herry can run to the altar and say "i did it!"
A wedding is not a thing for me - but a successful Kingdom marriage is defs an achievement in my books! There is work, there is dedication, a commitment and exams too. Asi pap n vleis
I agree with Mr and Mrs Koena here !
“Marriage is an achievement” is such a personal thing. I’ve had this debate with so many friends.
For me it was a goal, I love love and I love relationships and my goal was to end up getting married! Mama I made it 💃🏾.
then you get those ones as Mrs Koena said that will hate on women who says it’s an achievement. 🌚
Each to his own bethuna!👏🏾.
If it’s not for you then let us people who think it is be. And vise versa♥️
Thank you so much for this video. 🙌🏾💯👌🏾 There are several aspects that always get overlooked when people have this discussion and we've been eager to share our views on this. In due time we'll soon unpack them. 😄 But we believe that marriage is an achievement. 😊
And judging by the heat in the comments, there’s sooooo much to say indeed. Can’t wait to hear your views!❤️
Marriage is a blessing 🙏🙏
Marriage is also a calling 🙌...
Come on!🔥
Marriage represents the church (bride) and Christ (the groom).Ephesians 5:25. 💃🏾💃🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Can we also address taba ya bana after getting married. It's almost like they are waiting for you to pop
10 months into the marriage
Louder for the people at the back!!!
Yhu some girl even offered me imbiza to clean my womb and for me I cut those people off.
Open video,like video, leave a comment then watch... I am just a simple girl I know 😌😌
Akere❤️🔥
I still can’t get over your intro and Moratoa’s laughter🔥🔥🔥🥺🥺❤️❤️
I think it is an achievement if you feel like its something that YOU want..and also people should stop making it weird just because people want marriage and find it to be an achievement!!!! Most people aka women who have wanted it and don't get it sometimes have a negative stance on it just because they have not gotten it. Each to their own too...but lets allow people to want what they want!!!
Oh yessss sis! No better truth❤️
As Mrs. Koena said, it's subjective, there is no right or wrong answer.
Oh yess
Marriage is not an achievement but rather a gift and a blessing from God.
Absolutely ❤️❤️
From my perspective, Marriage is not an achievement but a blessing from God.
Can also be a goal for those that are not yet married but also that goal is dependent on God himself
Amen!!❤️💯
Marriage is not an achievement but a good healthy marriage is definitely an achievement to/for both partners in it (I would like to believe) , I know I would have achieved so much when I get to live a healthy good marriage, it's one of my goals honestly, not yet married but I do want to get married and live a good healthy one.Though I understand not an achievement for people looking from the outside and it is okay.
So so true!! Thank you sis❤️
Good healthy marriage is one that are equally yoked
Not all marriages are good, healthy and one should leave instead of holding on for the sake of ‘achievement’
@@TheMlangenis good and healthy relationships don't just happen by chance I mean every relationships not just romantic relationships, people work on it daily, chossing to love, choosing to forgive, choosing to serve,you can be equally yoked and still not to work on each other's relationship. So no I don't believe so.And if we gonna talk about leaving, it's a whole new big conversation cause the only good reason to leave your marriage is cheating according to the bible, and even after leaving you not allowed to remarry Achievement is something you work on daily.
@@boituchoma1632 definitely agreeing with working at it (from both partners) and it’s a daily choice to do so.
We say equally yoked because we tend over look a lot of things in the pursuit of want to get marry & it’s happened that you marry someone which you only see during the marriage that’s it’s just not working
Then there is the equally yoked which is in your agreement about working at it daily.
Let’s park the leaving because we believe if it’s detrimental to your wellbeing then you leave
Not just cheating but another example is abuse
Also looking at scripture, let’s not isolate what the word say about Love
(Eg if your partner abusing you where is the love, protect, kindness ect)
@@TheMlangenis see that's why I said leaving a marriage is can of worms. The bible is very clear on other topics and they're no grey areas.
But honestly good healthy marriage just don't happen guys, nomatter what we can be equally yoked if you choose to ignore 1Corinthians 13 then your marriage is dead so to any other relationship you attached to in your life. Why do people even being equally yoked still divorce.
It happenes because being equally work doesn't mean you will have good healthy marriage, or any relationship for that matter even in friendships.
Nomatter what, with each day we serve the people we love, we forgive after they hurt us, we patient with them, we considerate and this is our daily activities and once we think we have done that they now become achievements.
I can't expect to have a great good relationship just because I married married a person am equally yoked. My relationship would flop honestly if I go with mentality of having a healthy good relationship with anyone in my life without putting the work. Any relationship comes with a new clean page and it is what you make it, being equally yoked according to my understanding is agreeing on where you going as two people and when making decisions on your beliefs and values it won't be so hard for you guys since you believe in the same thing.
Let's not alter the bible to what our reasons are at the time.It is very clear on divorce, and this doesn't mean if I personally get to get married and I feel my marriage is not based on 1Corinthians13 and even if they didn't cheat on me, that doesn't mean am not leaving and staying in a depressive state, I am leaving and will probably will remarry again. I will ask forgiveness from God and won't justify why I had to leave. Cause I know God was very clear on why I should divorce.I am not coming up with reason to God saying God I had to leave because my husband wasn't loving me, with even abuse I will definitely not leave but I will just ask forgiveness for leaving.
The head wrap & Mr Koenas shirt ❤️😍😍
❤️❤️ thank you
100% agree, it's an achievement, and those who keep saying it's not, are those who aren't married, because either they don't want it, or it's not coming.
I want to get married, it's a goal, and it will be a blessing when it comes.
Amen! So shall it be sis.
Such an honest reflection, thank you❤️
Amen
We like before we watch❤ because Gators are the greatest papas!
Ohhhh yesss😝❤️
I feel like it is an achievement in the sense that you've chosen to be faithful to this one person.
Through the trials and tribulations you choose to stay true to this person instead of taking the easy way out and choose to not be committed to one person.
I feel like marriage is a lot of work, so it's an achievement😂🤷🏽♀️
I believe marriage is an achievement, because we are born to grow and share, you can never be alone for the rest of your life . And seeing what you guys share as a couple, it is definitely an achievement. God bless you
Come on somebody!🔥❤️
I believe marriage is what you want it to be at the end of the day lol to some of us its an achievement and some people aren't interested in it. But everyone must respect everyone else's opinion 🙏🏽.
As Mr Mokoena says " you work for your marriage" it does not come as easy as people think, and you achieved your goal and you still need to put in the work while you're married to insure its a healthy marriage!
As Miss Mokena says marriage is a blessings, marriage is an institution that is highly favored in the eyes of the lord honestly, so damn its Definitely has to be an achievement 😍🥰 for those who have been called for it. Its also so much deeper for Christians as you said its not just two people chilling and flexing🤣 which is what some people view it as. Within marriage is where you're supposed to create life, I don't want rant and rave cause not everyone is Christian and we respect that.
But married or not married no one has the right to belittle what anyone deems as an achievement and we can not look down on those who believe its not an achievement. Both parties can be veerryyyy petty lol to try prove their point 🤣
Love your content 😍
Come on!! You couldn’t have said this better! Thank you so much❤️
When ma Mokoena said "the will of God and the grace of God that got me there can take me out and put me where I'm meant to be" wow I felt that thank you...I'm going thru a divorce and every now and then u ask urself if u made the right decision and if God is happy with what ur doing...its hard
Amen and amen! Pastor Pushie explains divorce so well. Check out The Wife on RUclips, presented by Mmatema. The very first episode. You will be blessed.
It is well sis and you will never leave His grace❤️
Thank you will check it out❤
We love and appreciate u#TheKoenas❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
For me it's not a big deal, I am happy for married people, but I also know that in reality it's a lot of work, because I was raised by a married couple,therefore I am not working hard towards becoming someone's wife one day. Nna lenyalo kea le tshaba guys
So true fam. Each to his own ka nnete❤️
My favorite people ..ke le rata rati batho bame .❤❤love u all the way from Botswana 🇧🇼❤k safe guys💚😍
We love you! ❤️
Mma Koena is in a good mood today and she is so hyped😁❤
Hehe! It’s the fire in the topic🔥
awwww you guys!!! Mrs.K - moghel you are looking awesome - ke kopa o tshware mo!
from my side marriage is not an an achievement - if it was destined to be in your path, then yay, if it wasnt - same! Whatever lies in ones destiny we do not know and ya ... can married people stop having an upsy attitude to the ones that are not!!! yes its there! i know the attitude, it must stop! ( i know the attitudfe cause - I is married ) f*ck but it must stop!!!
Thank you sis!! Akere!! Phantsi with the attitude, phantsi!!
12:44 is Mrs Koena’s look for me 🥰🥰 you guys are amazing
Thank you fam❤️
We are bushes daily for being MARRIED njalo.
We are told it will end in tears
We are told it’s nothing serious
We agree with you guys, if it’s a goal then you’ve achieved
IT IS A DEFINITE ACHIEVEMENT for us that God has blessed us with.
Marriage is a ministry
Are we all called for it? As much as we desire it, is it a definite?
Our thoughts
#TheMlangenis #MCs
Shuuu! You’ve really opened up another thought. Is it a “many are called, few are chosen” kind of thing as well?🤔🤔
Good to see you fam! We come baaaack❤️
Yes, I think marriage is an achievement.
1. The success of a marriage is solely dependent on the couple (monogamous/polygamous). Therefore you define your own success and your way of doing this that work in your marriage
2. Marriage is mostly about giving. The ability to be a constant giver in a relationship to someone who is just as imperfect is a skill. Of course giving within parameters and reciprocal
3. Constantly forgiving your partner/s and yourself
4. The active act of being what your partner requires. Knowing that your partner appreciates certain things and doing them to make your partner happy even. Again reciprocal
5. If you lucky enough you find someone who loves you for just being yourself
6. Marriage is a commitment that you make to your partner "forever". To make such a commitment under conditions of uncertainty to me is an indication of true dedication and pure faith
Wow wow wow! We have been fed! Thank you so much for sharing such knowledge ❤️❤️
Personally i believe marriage is an achievement to some certain extend..marriage is all about choosing who you want to do this journey of Life with..as people we were created to relate with one another and marriage is kinda a higher level of relation which not everyone is willing to go through..it's like intentionally putting value on someone regardless of their pitfalls,flaws and imperfection which will affect you as a partner if not dealt with accordingly and honestly who want to hear that there's so somebody who you will love the most and will definitely hurt you the most.but truly speaking it hurt you the most because you love them the most..To human beings that's very heavy to carry rather not be responsible for another woman child's life than be the reason they fell at some point..
Come on!!! This is truth and such important points you make, thank you sis❤️
This was a lovely video to watch. You gave Good responses guys, definitely God’ wisdom👌👌👌 -
Thank you fam❤️
Hey Mr & Mrs Buba! Interesting topic.
I have a friend whose first reference of marriage/relationship (parents) wasn't a healthy one. So, he doesn't have the desire to get married. At face value, it's easy to say a person is bitter when you haven't heard what the person has been through, and to what extent it has affected them and their ideology of marriage. He hasn't see the need to.
Haaa! You make a valid point. It’s true to say not everyone wants to get married for various reasons
Nibahle ❤️
Thank you❤️❤️
I’m a new subscriber. Literally found you guys today and I legit watched all your videos today 😁😅.
Anyway I think marriage is next level, next chapter. And it is not necessarily for all of us and that’s okay.
It's an achievement. I have achieved ❤️
❤️❤️👏🏾👏🏾
For me, it was definetly the end goal for our relationship. We worked towards it and we got there... We did have a sense of achievement. And now we keep achieving within the marriage by staying married, reaching our goals and growing our household. Being married doesn't make me superior to anyone. Lenyalo ga la abelwa rona rotlhe. But yah, we definetly felt a sense of achievement when we got married
Look at God! So true sis, thank you❤️
Primary>>secondary>>University>>work>>marriage>>family/children. If obtaining a degree is an achievement then being married should also be an achievement.
People like to put a face and dismiss being married because they have been hurt or don't have a good reference of married people.
So true, depending on where people want to take their relationship, it is what they make it❤️
I think the matter of whether marriage is an achievement or not is subjective. People have different goals and for some marriage isn’t one of them, for others is it but the reality is not everyone will get married.
I think women were made to believe that getting married is an achievement hence they are the ones engaging more on the topic. The nice thing is people are more liberal now and young girls are being made aware of the fact that they do not have to get married in order to fit into society’s standards
So so true! Times are changing indeed❤️
I don’t really mind if people see marriage as an achievement or not however to me marriage is a blessing as Mrs Koena has said and to stay married is by grace. There are people who worked really hard to keep their marriages healthy and applied what the scriptures say but are divorced today hence I say having a good healthy marriage is by grace.
So so true sis, thank you❤️
I Legit love Mrs Koenas Laugh bathong! it has me in stiches ...
Hehe🤣😍❤️
Nice to be here first! I had to quickly take break from my PhD work to indulge 😂😂😂💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾! Am so excited
Come on sister!🔥😝 So glad you’re here with us
Being in a good marriage IS an achievement!
👏🏾👏🏾🔥🔥❤️❤️
Yhooooooo, guys this topic; I must say replies are interesting. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, I am laughing cause I have realised how much my mindset has changed for the better even when it comes to marriage.
Nna aketsebe hore ke achievement or not, I just wanna get married to a man who loves me. And we live happily ever after.
Your background guys, is so beautiful. Wow! I love it. Mama Koena the fabric for your doek, ka kopa hle. It's beautiful. 👌
I love you guys.
Comments are heeeeeated won’t lie! You are so right! Thank you so much sis❤️❤️
Absolutely loved the video, so much wisdom also in the comment section. I really enjoyed watching and reading people's opinions. I was left with nothing to say but I have a broad perspective now.
Thank you sis. Crazy to see how there’s actually so much more to say👏🏾❤️
Hey Gator Gang💓💓💓kele rata strong. God bless 🙏🙏
We love you!!❤️
First one here today! Yaaaayyy...Let the watching begin now
Whooop whoooop!!🔥🔥🔥
I think it is an achievement. If two people were brought together by God for a specific family purpose and they achieve it then yes.
Hmm! 💯!
Looking so good mama K and papa K, is this the `new year`glow or what?!😍
Akere!! Thank you fam❤️
Marking the register🤗
Present!😝
Love the music❤
Thank you❤️
Ma Mokoena's laugh is contagious 😍😂😂
Hehe❤️
Mrs Buba awusemhle mtase😍
Ndiyabulela mntase❤️
My sis ❤️love you guys
We love you❤️
Super early today, Ayeyeeeee! 💃💃💃You guys are so quick, I thought I will be the first one. 😜😅
Whooop whooop!!🔥😝
People are afraid of marriage, in fact ba tshaba committment. 😂
It’s a looooot of work shem🤣
📍Nca esfubeni in this weather!
Notification gang Boobas💃💃💃
Whooop whooooop!😝😝
Notification gang💃💃
Gaaaaang🔥🔥
It’s Wednesday already😁😁 heyyyy Gators❤️
Oh yessss😝🔥
I believe that marriage is a gift (from God) and not necessarily an achievement. My issue with people that like pointing out that "marriage is not an achievement" is that it normally comes from a malicious place and seeks to undermine the value and importance of the institution. It's okay not to be married and not want to be married but don't try to minimize married people's celebration of marriage or discourage those who desire it.
So true sis!
People have tendency to make women feel like being a marriage is an achievement, for what I have seen its not something I wish on myself
No better truth! As if (if they do want it), it’s in their hands❤️
Ma Koena you look so beautiful
Thank you❤️
I think that most of these people who are sour about marriages didn't/don't have a good example of what a true marriage should be like. 🤭
Personally I don’t think marriage is an achievement, I’m repeating what has already been said in the comments but personally as an unmarried person I don’t think I view marriage is an achievement because it’s all about whether God has that in the cards for you and if He doesn’t there’s no need to force things. So if we get married by God’s plan , how can we say we have achieved...maybe I’ll have a different view if I get married one day but the notion that married people are given more respect in society is one that I definitely think needs to change. Esp for women , it’s almost as if a woman is less than if she’s a certain age and not married which is not true.
Hy gators ❤️
💓💓🎉🎉🎉
Achievement
👌🏾👌🏾
Personally for me Ts not an achievement,iv been around people who are in toxic marriages n they are scared to leave because they will look like failures,
Marriage is not an achievement! This is not a bitter statement but is meant to encourage and affirm women that they are worthy, needed and beautiful outside of what society defines them to be. From birth girls are taught house chores to prepare them for marriage or to make them eligible for marriage. If you were not domesticated or couldn’t bare kids, you are deemed ineligible for marriage. So the statement is to affirm women who are not domesticated/ who are career driven/who cant fall pregnant/who do not want to be married/ who do not want kids.....all women; that having a man choose you for marriage is not the ultimate goal in life. We are worthy, magnificent and beautiful all on our own.
Note that I am married but my opinion still is that Marriage is not an achievement. Having a healthy, loving and nurturing relationship/friendship is an Achievement regardless if you are legally married or not.
Absolutely love this statement!!!! Louder!!!!!!!! We agree 💯 and you are right, for some it’s a choice and for some, they really have no say at all and it’s not the be all and end all!
Thank you so much sis❤️❤️
Don’t stay in an unhealthy harmful marriage for the sake of holding on to the marriage
Nothing embarrassing
Again society must relax
❤❤
1st to comment? 👏
Whoop whoooooop!😝😝
I don't believe marriage is an achievement. 1. It was never s goal for me when it found me so I regard it a blessing, never an achievement.
2.Marriage can be testing especially when we adjust to living together and holding space for each other.
The achievement would be looking back 20 years later and you've built a good life, your bond is paid up and your children are amazing people. Then you've had a successful marriage and you've achieved. Saying "I do" is no achievement.
People are living double lives out here and say they've achieved, no! It's the quality of the marriage over time.
Hey Gator gang
My first time commenting, here is my 2 cents :P:
I think people who say marriage is not an achievement because it seems like:
1. The girl child seems to be raised to aspire to get a man to marry her so it is almost like saying "Girl child you are enough on your own. You don't need to be married to feel like you are."
2. Also it is hard to understand why a woman could be happier on her own but choose to stay in a bad marriage with a bad man where she is abused and unhappy. Then you feel like saying it is not an achievement, it is okay to walk away if it is not working. Don't die in it and don't die for it.
3. Lastly, as a Christian who is not married, single women are looked down upon esp. in black churches where it is assumed you are single and not blessed and therefore looking for a man to marry you . Single, happy, content and blessed does not exist in church context.
Anyway love your content guys
Wow wow wow!! You really added so much knowledge and wisdom to the converstion!!
Thank you so much!!
Whooooop whooooop❤️❤️
😍😍😍😍😍😍
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Eish banna! We keep seeing your comments then disappearing. Devil is a liar! Thank you mama❤️❤️
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Hy gators ❤️
Hey Gator!❤️