A New Take on the Quilt Police [Quilt Talk Podcast Episode 19]
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- Опубликовано: 29 июл 2024
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Today's podcast covers the Quilt Police. Who are they? As quilters, how to we deal with them? How to we avoid becoming the Quilt Police? Join me for Quilt Police stories, approaches, and a challenge to help us strengthen our community of quilters - from quilting newbies to quilting experts!
Chapters
00:00 Intro/Announcements
02:55 Topic Background
05:04 Who are the Quilt Police?
09:27 Not in Joyful and Merry Quilting!
10:21 Example 1
12:21 Example 2
14:20 Keep it Rooted in Love and Camaraderie
17:26 The Quilting Anarchists
19:40 The Answers
25:00 My Challenge: The Positive Quilt Police
Hi, I'm Mary! If you've signed up for my free mini quilting course or ANY of my workshops at joyfulandmerryquilting.com, you know the level of detail my videos go into to give step-by-step quilting help. Quilt along with me, learn the best quilting tips, and essentially join an in-depth quilting class with me as your instructor! I'm here to help you improve your skills as a quilter as best as I can. Comment with any questions you'd like answered, and thanks so much for watching our quilting videos this week. 
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So true! You never forget those negative comments. I made a log cabin quilt that I truly loved. Loved the fabrics, the pattern, the process, and even the quilting and binding. Till I showed it to a friend. Her first words were, "Oh, the yellow on the back isn't the same as the yellow on the front." Seriously! As if I didn't know that. It was a scrappy quilt and I just used what I had on hand. But, now every time I use that quilt, her words smack me in the forehead. Her criticism took all the joy out of that quilt. Even years later. But, it was a good reminder to me to carefully respond to others when they show their projects.
Sadly, we all have too many of those memories! Stealing someone's joy is often not intentional, but either way...the joy is gone and it's replaced by sadness. As you said - a good reminder for each of us to be careful with our words. Thank you so much for sharing Carrie!
Thank you Mary. Your message applies to all of life, not just quilting. Be kind (and joyful & merry!)
Yes - that's the key to making the journey joyful! Thank you for your comment!
Ive had trouble sticking with a hobby. Ive taken up quilting after the pandemic and I love it so much, its so soothing for me. Your stories reminded me of how people love to be negative. When i was a child, my mom signed us up for a knitting class to take together. After we had learned all the stitches it was time to make the big project of the class, a sweater vest. Being a 13-year old at the time, I was knitting as much as I could in my spare time. When we went back to class the following week i had finished about a third of the front of the vest. Someone else in the class commented "doesn't this girl do any chores?" Instantly my mom was shamed, I was deflated instead of proud. We never went back to the class and i never finished the vest. Over thirty years later that comment from that lady still stings me.
I'm so very sorry to hear about your experience and especially sad that your mom was not applauded for teaching you as she did. She certainly should have been! I absolutely understand exactly what you're talking about. I don't know why comments such as those are offered, and why people FEEL like it's ok...because it's not. I really think we just need to keep spreading the positive...and not allow the negative (that's my Joyful and Merry Quilting philosophy, anyway...) I love quilting as well - I am very happy to have you join our quilting community! WELCOME!!! If you're interested, we do have a Facebook page (facebook.com/groups/1006750174066005) as well as a "Night Owl Quilting Hangout" which meets on our RUclips Channel on September 11 at 10pmCT. If you sign up on our website, we send out reminder notices. The website is www.joyfulandmerryquilting.com. Click on "Watch Free Workshop" and enter your email address and we'll let you know when there are any events, announcements, patterns, etc. We try not to "over-email" and would love to have you join us. Thank you so much for your comment.
I'm sure you've heard the saying "misery loves company". I'm sorry that woman was just mean and miserable. She saw that both you and your mother were proud and wanted to ruin that good feeling. Don't let anyone else take your joy away. If someone comments when it wasn't warranted aka "trolls" or it's mean, just look at them, smile your biggest smile and say I'm sorry you're having a bad day, I hope it gets better. This is a very good quote to keep in mind "You can't change how people act, but what you can change is how you react." Please enjoy your new quilting hobby and have fun.
I totally agree with what you are saying. Not just in quilting, but with everything going on in our world. Thanks, Mary.
I also agree! Thank you Judy!
Thank you for reminding us to be positive not only to quilters but to our every day life as well. ❤
You're so welcome! Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all put "be nice" ahead of "I'm right"??? I think it would make a huge difference in so many lives. We'll just have to keep trying, right? Thank you for your comment!
I brought my very first quilt to the quilt shop where I had bought the fabric and gotten advice on the pattern. It was a quilt I had made especially for my new grand daughter and I thought it had turned out great. The person at the shop just said: “ thats how you did that?” And the best one: “Ive seen better.” Well, suffice it to say I will never darken the doorstep of that shop again.
I'm always amazed at how haughty and insulting others can be to those who are just beginning to explore the world of quilting. I'm glad you didn't get discouraged and that you continued your journey. BRAVO to you! Thank you for sharing!
So true!! I was fortunate to become friends at work with a fabulous quilter, when I was a beginner. She encouraged me, gave me lessons and patterns and tips. I would not have continued with this craft, were it not for her. Bonus, she was bff's with Mimi Dietrich, and I got to visit her home and meet more quilters, and everyone was kind and encouraging. It has made all the difference in my life.
What a wonderful story!!! That's what I hope each new quilter experiences! Thank you so much for sharing and thank you for watching!
Nice advice. Another name for positive quilt police could be called encouragement squad. Beginners such as myself need all the encouragement we can get
Thank you and welcome to Joyful and Merry Quilting!!! Be sure to download our free workshop on our website - it has 5 great tips with videos for making the perfect quilt block. www.joyfulandmerryquilting.com
Enjoyed your video. The things you talked about is the reason I don’t post my quilts on social media because of the negativity. I have been quitting for a number of years, but I still am not the perfect quilter. However, the people I give my quilts to tell me they are beautiful and enjoy them. Thank you!
You're so welcome! I know EXACTLY what you're talking about and thank you for commenting here. If you're interested - please join us on our Facebook Page facebook.com/groups/1006750174066005 It's all positive and it really is a fun and safe group where quilters of all levels share.
Obviously you hit a button for anyone who has been embarrassed by another's careless remark . . . . in all aspects of life. You're an amazing teacher and leader . . . . in all aspects of your life . . .thanks, Mary ❤
Thank you so much Cheryl!!! I really appreciate your comment!
I will never understand judging others either! It costs us nothing to be nice!
You're absolutely right! Not sure where the negative comes in to play...it's just not necessary.
Breath of fresh air! Great suggestions to promote a more positive vibe in a great hobby. If only more people would think before they hit send! I think the internet has allowed a huge growth in critical communication, because people will say things that they would never say in a face to face situation like the older idea of a quilters circle or gathering.
I couldn't agree with you more! Thank you so much for your comment. We're on the same page here!
Great podcast as usual, Mary. And CJ-xn8ho is right...this applies to all of life! Sure wish more people would "know their audience" before they speak. One of my mottoes in life is "a little humility goes a long way."
Thank you so much and thank you for watching! I love your motto!
Love, love, love this video. So helpful and encouraging to a beginner quilter. Thank you so much! ❤❤❤😊
Thank you!!! Positive comments and lots of applause! It means the world to us in just about every situation! Thank you so much for your comment!
This is wonderful! I am a newish quilter. I love quilting and it is my escape from a very stressful--but joyful time in my life. Quilting allows me the freedom to be creative and have some alone time with my thoughts. The quilt police are interesting in the world. They also comment on whether or not you use "cheap" fabric or can afford to take quilts to have them professionally quilted. All of the new quilters that I know are trying to split very limited resources with the necessities of life and have young children or college tuitions to pay. I have so many thoughts on this topic because quilting should also not only be considered good if only the "best" (most expensive fabric, rulers, professional quilting) goods are used. I have seen amazing quilts and artwork done with very inexpensive materials and quilted on their domestic machines. The quilters will never show their beautiful work to others because of the quilt bourgeois police. I wish that within quilting there was a place for all economic levels of quilting. I feel that this also goes along with your message of the "old" ways where the stitches were with love and not economics. As you said it was the purpose that mattered and the combined love and experiences that made the quilt. Thank you for your podcasts and videos. I am enjoying them so much!
You are so very welcome! Your heartfelt comments truly made my day (week...month...) :-). Thank YOU! We LOVE quilting - we love the process and we use what we have to create what brings us joy! My philosophy is that quilting is more than cutting fabric and sewing seams...it's a WHOLE BODY experience! If you're on social media - we do have a Facebook group facebook.com/groups/1006750174066005 and you are welcome to join us. It's all positive...all fun...all supportive...and all quilting! Thank you again!
Mary, wow you are such a blessing to your community.
I'm glad I found your channel. I look forward learning more of what you have to offer. Thank you for being such an inspiration. This video was the first one of your videos I've watched and boy I'm glad I did. I've been teaching myself how to sew and quilt for the past month. Never done this before and it seems like you are the person to learn from. I look forward to watching all your videos!!!
Many blessings to you,
Doug
Watertown Wisconsin
You're so welcome! Thank you for watching and I'm very happy that you've joined with us. Since you're relatively new to quilting - I do have a free workshop on my website "How to Create the Perfect Quilt Top Every Time" if you're interested. www.joyfulandmerryquilting.com There are 5 tips that can help get you started. In addition - one of my Quilting Tips Videos here on my RUclips Channel gives you the 10 items I wish I would have known about as a new quilter. Again - thank you for your kind words! They are most appreciated and WELCOME to the Joyful and Merry Quilting Community.
Great video that can apply to all life interactions, not just quilting. We all know negative quilt police who feel it is their job to make comments about how something is done wrong or needs improvement. Just like riding a bike, it takes practice. And for hobbyists, it is supposed to be creative, not stressful. Not everyone wants or needs your opinion. I try to avoid such people. Quilt guilds and shows can feel like mean high school divas in attendance. You never know if the quilter is nearby. I go for inspiration and to appreciate quilts, like art, that may be out of my experience and comfort zone. And take time to appreciate all quilts. We all were beginning quilters at one time and our skill level should not be judged. Same for show and tell at guild meetings. We need to encourage and inspire. Criticism out and positivity in.
I couldn't agree more! Thank you so much for your insight - I really appreciate it!
Thank you Mary for reminding us to be positive to those who who are new quilter or those who have a hard time putting it all together.
You're so welcome! We're here to encourage and applaud!
Excellent podcast, Mary! Love your positive outlook.
Thank you!!!! And thank you for watching!!!
Love this!!! Really, really good advice! ❤
Thanks so much and thank you for watching!
Very well said. I choose different color combos and sometimes wonky different patterns on purpose. And I don’t ask what other people think because I’m usually happy with what I’ve done. I love to sew and I will not let others steal my joy. Thank you very much for being an uplifting person.
You're so welcome and BRAVO for your creativity! I love that you quilt for YOU! Quilting brings me such joy and it's obvious that it does the same for you! Thank you so much for your comment!
Mary, I just had the chance to listen to this pod cast and it was great! Everything you said made perfect sense. You are amazing and I’m so glad you started Joyfulandmerryquilting. I love it. I hope this make you giggle; I had two friends that I used to get together with every week to sew. Unfortunately one moved 4 hours away and the other passed away. When we would get together and show each other our projects, we would kid each other and ask, “ooh, I didn’t get this done right, do you think the quilt police will come to the door?” Then we would laugh with each other and have fun. But we never criticized anyone else. We kept our errors and comments to our things but never to anyone. In our guild, everyone helps each other and never says anything mean. If a lady asks for help or an opinion, it was usually between whoever wanted help. This was absolutely wonderful. I am so glad you are doing all this. It makes me so happy to be a part of all this. So, thank you so much!❤️
Thanks so much Lucille! I'm sorry that your little group of friends can no longer meet, but it sounds like your quilt guild is the next best thing! Thank YOU for watching and supporting Joyful and Merry Quilting! It's most appreciated!
The golden rule, To treat others as you want to be treated.
Exactly! Sadly, some have forgotten that simple rule. I guess it's up to us to offer a reminder on occasion. Thank you for your comment!
To me, the quilt police are the ones that set the rules for judging quilts at a show. I like a few imperfections in handmade items, it shows the charm of homemade. Imperfections make each artwork unique, adding character and distinguishing it from mass-produced or digitally created images.
Imperfections in art are not merely flaws to be corrected; they are opportunities for artistic expression, emotional resonance, and aesthetic depth. By embracing flaws, we celebrate the unique qualities of each artwork, the human touch behind its creation, and the serendipitous discoveries that arise from experimentation. So, let us embrace the beauty of imperfection in art, appreciating the flaws that make it truly remarkable and reminding us of the imperfect, yet beautiful, nature of our own lives.
That was so beautifully written! Thank you so much! What would our world (and our lives) be if everything we were allowed to view or to share was only that which had achieved the level of "excellent". Our lives would only be enriched for a moment and then most of us would feel defeated before we even tried to accept the challenge and "give it a go". It just wouldn't be worth it and it certainly wouldn't be fun. Your insight is spot on. Thank you again!
Thank you Mary🙂🌵
You are so welcome!
Great info! I am such a beginner - I view and read but don’t post pictures. Thanks!
You're welcome to join us in our Joyful and Merry Facebook Group. It's a very joyful and merry place and beginners are very welcome! We would love to applaud your quilting successes! facebook.com/groups/1006750174066005
Great video! I always try to think about how others will feel. And I laughed about the parts of quilting you enjoy, my favorite is also piecing ❤
Thanks so much for your comment Cindy! Yes - piecing is the best!!!
Mine is cutting!!!
I think when discussing a somewhat controversial topic--like pre-washing fabric or starching--it helps to frame your opinion as your personal experience, and not a hard truth. Say "I don't see any difference when I prewash, so I don't want to spend time doing it", not "Prewashing is a waste of time." Rather than saying "Starch makes precision piecing so much easier" say "I get better results when I use starch."
I love your perspective! I have found that there are too many times when quilters (or anyone, really) are offended by a simple "my way or no way" statement or response.
There are just too many arguments that erupt over the subjects you mentioned, simply because of the way the comment was worded. You are so correct...speaking in absolutes definitely alienates us from every single person who feels differently. Thank you so much for your thoughts on this subject. Taking a minute to organize our thoughts before commenting can make such a difference.
Spot on!
My sister was a hand quilter and showed me how to do it but she saw what I did she told me a didn’t rock my needle enough so I took it all out and redid it and she was shock that I did it. I wanted to learn to do it right .
Bravo to you for being able to actually view her suggestions in a positive way and do it right! I tried to do the same thing when I was criticized for my work....and I'm happy to say that my work did get better as a result.
(Not that Judy) I've experienced that criticism of my efforts at another hobby, and it killed my confidence and enthusiasm for it. One person single-handedly obliterated my excitement about it. Some people who do that aren't the great experts they think they are, but it's hard not to let the criticism cloud your view after that.
I just think that is so sad that there are those who can steal our joy in a moment. You are EXACTLY correct...often those offering the most "advice" are often NOT the experts. That doesn't negate the negative impact of their comments, however. I'm so sorry you had that experience.
Just watched #28 Podcast about quilt police. Instead police, try companions, we are all companions.
Thanks for watching!
Thirty years ago a woman in our guild wrote a commentary about my challenge quilt. One sentence only, criticizing my fabric choices.
I was shocked and hurt. I thought we were friends.
On the way home, that very day, she was killed in a car accident. Her mean comment, our last interaction, lives on in my mind.
Imagine the difference if she had been kind.
Oh my - what a sad experience. It's such a striking reminder of the power of our words and actions and how they can influence people's lives. I hope that, over the years, you've found ways to heal and grow from this experience. I know the hurt is still there and I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing.
My brother has a saying...."The worst advice is unsolicited advice"
I have left groups because of quilt police.
Thanks for watching!
Could you please address the issue of sewing fast or getting 50 quilts done in a year. It made me disappointed like I was inadequate. New quilters need to know its not the quantity! I quilt start to finish and cant afford longarmers. It may take me longer but i enjoy it.
Thanks for the suggestion!
Is there a pattern for “strip to be square”?
There was...it's in a book that I wrote that is out of print and no longer available. Sorry...
Here’s to the PQP!😊🚔
YES!!! Thank you!!!
I get your point on positive feedback, but I am quite sure that humans used to be nicer to each other than what they are now. Great imagination around the “old time quilting circles”, but those people were not better humans than we are. But yes, let’s not bring each other down. The universe will do more than enough of that without our help. I like you RUclips work, btw. All of it.
Thank you so much! I agree - there are way too many ways for us to interact negatively with each other now. I don't think those of "long ago" were better humans - but they just didn't have all the avenues we have to voice our negative opinions and hide behind a social media created identity. Lots to think about - right? Thanks again for your comment and for watching, Nikki!
My mother used to say,”Think before you speak.”
My mom did too!!! I absolutely agree!
When I have nothing nice to say I say nothing at all.
That is a great mantra! Thanks for watching!