I love that you know what you want and stick to it and are open about it. That is very admirable. That level of self-awareness is what we should all aim for. I am pretty sure some women only want children because they think that is what is required or expected of them not because they desire to be mothers.
This is 💯 true... I think a lot of people haven't actually given a thought to what it actually means to have a child but they still go ahead with it because that's what normal looks like, it has always been considered the natural progression of things and so they just jump in without question.
This is such an important conversation!!! We are finally in an age where this has been made possible for those who don't want children. Personally I want children, but I have so many friends who have been looking for this kind of permanent solution.
I got mine done 5months ago, after I watched your video on BTL. My husband had to consent for it to be done, but it was more like he was the next of Kin. I had no resistance from the doctor, because it was a private hospital and it meant more money for them. I was supposed to go have it 6 weeks post normal delivery, but I had signed the papers days before I was due for labour, fortunately I ended up having a Csection and they did the BTL during the operation. Post surgery recovery, I can't say... cause I had complications post delivery but it was not because of BTL. I don't feel the need to tell the aunties that are always asking for more grand babies, already the family was worried when they were told I was not giving birth naturally. CS is still a taboo in some parts of Africa, what more childfree and self sterilisation 😂😂😂. But am living my best life, I can plan for my future, give my 3kids the best I can afford financially and emotionally and have control over my career. But you sealed my decision to have BTL
I'm concerned about that part of consent, because a next of kin never needs to consent to a procedure... I totally get that aunties part... they don't need to know because it doesn't actually concern them. I love that for you and your little ones too. I love it when someone says, "I know what I can handle, and that's what I am willing to do"
@mula.a I've seen conversations that imply women who choose CS are considered to be less than because they 'refused' to experience the pain of child birth... even being called names because some people think it's an aesthetic issue. And this is online... when it comes to conversations with the older generations, it can become even more hectic trying to explain it.
@IAmMuthoniGitau yeah. Me too. N sad of all is the women perpetuating this stereotype. Honestly, who cares even if it is aesthetic. With all the issues that comes with being a woman, we should never look down on someone for the path they chose regarding THEIR OWN BODY. It is tough and rough and we could all use with a bit of help. It's is stupid, honestly. Like going through excruciating pain is the threshold for motherhood. We won't even get on how CS IS PAINFUL AND TAKES LONGER TO HEAL.
I love your mindset and living your life according to your own rules and standards. I think cultural mindset has fed this thing that women cannot do that because it will affect others, then the question to ask, how about what the individual feels? Am here for the taking charge of our lives.
As a child free woman who already made this choice a long time ago and told her parents back then she ain't bringing grandkids, I'm definitely considering this.
@@IAmMuthoniGitau there is no rest,no rest as a human being you practically disappear and these men don't care!!!!! Women need to take charge! Thank you for choosing freedom 😞
You said it . Mothers say how they don’t have time to rest then call us selfish because we don’t want kids . Why do they want us to suffer together ?????? No thank you.
@@muthonisonderleiterkanyoi coz they want you to feel the same pain the same hard, even our mums failed us! Am glad we can openly talk about it, motherhood is hard very hard
I love this for you!! I’m also child free & yes our “culture” & healthcare services are prone to ask us to second guess because in future you might want🙄 But yes people need to make sure that this is what they want & do tonnes of research
So true and I often feel it comes from a point of their personal opinions and hardly about what your thoughts are on the matter... it's like they don't actually listen to you, they just want to plant seeds of doubt.
Thank you so much . This helps a lot . Been thinking about getting mine tied since I have kids already and I don't plan on adding more. Better option than the hormonal shenanigans
Glad it was helpful! The hormonal stuff can do a number on your body, I also like because now my body can function without the stuff the implant pumps into my body.
5:52 This!!! Great point, I'll use this. People like to invalidate your reasons. 11:25 😂😂😂 you're hilarious!! I'm 99% sure. I'm trying to get over that 1% uncertainty.
It’s very weird that many people don’t understand a woman’s reproductive system,Having periods doesn’t mean a woman is fertile,a woman can be infertile but still have their periods.Not every woman Ovulate,and there can never be pregnancy without ovulation,A woman can also be having regular periods but that doesn’t necessarily mean ovulation occurred alongside the periods.Everyone need to get educated regarding that.
This is so true, our education system kind of failed us in that regard. We lack a lot of information and most people don't even bother trying to find out more.
Oh, I understand you on the easily swayed part . Like I don't want more kids but there been the idea been dangled down about me having a baby girl since I have three boys and some time am like mhmm! Then I remember the the hardship and my decisions and am like nop. But if I keep up like this possibilities are endless 😅
@@Nyangemi I understand your predicament. That's why I am motivated by women like Muthoni. To our defence, women are naturally high in agreeableness because it's our evolutionary role to nurture babies and ensure they survive. A baby can't compromise, so women were designed to do the compromising to ensure it survives😁. Though society also teaches women to be compromising therefore the odds are against us both from the biological and societal perspective 😂
First off that make up look...😘😘yesss!!! Second of all, thank you for your honesty in sharing something so intimate and vulnerable. While my decision on having children is neither here nor there, i appreciate hearing views from different women on the subject. Continue to stay true to yourself❤❤
Good for you on making a well informed decision. I wish this conversation could be blown up for men!! Vasectomies should be highly considered. Women have been reaping the consequences of ignorance in reproductive health for too long, they’ve been the ones to choose if they want kids or not and then, we have men who are having unprotected sex and denying all responsibilities when it comes to acknowledging and raising kids.
I had my tubes tied during my CS after I had my youngest. My doctor told me that just like a vasectomy, it can be reversed and 80% of women who choose to undergo the reversal procedure do end up conceiving. However, the reversal process is EXPENSIVE. Women need to note that like any birth control methods, it’s 99% effective so there’s still that 1% lingering chance for the “lucky” few 😁
Unfortunately, the way the procedure is done here, a reversal isn't exactly an option and also a reversal is difficult. It's actually considered the most effective at more that 99% that's what getting pregnant after one is actually considered a freakish incident.
It's not a conversation we've had. I think she already made peace with the fact that I don't want to have children because that's the conversation we've had. When I make these choices I make them with me in mind and no one else, so their feelings don't count. My sister was pretty chill about it, if they have any feelings, they haven't shared them with me and I love that for myself 😂😂😂
There's a reason I say it's not reversible because 1) it's extremely difficult and expensive AF and 2) the chances of a pregnancy after are pretty low... so yes, why get one if you intend to reverse it? There are other effective ways of birth control that wouldn't be as difficult or expensive... Actually, it is sold as a permanent procedure because of that.
@mpendamziki477 as someone already going through it I can tell you.....first tl causes rapid decline in estrogen....which is essential for healthy brain, healthy bones, healthy genitourinary system. Low estrogen can lead to cardiovascular diseases, osteoporosis, early dementia etc...plus low libido....to prevent all these issues you have to supplement with estrogen
Early menopause is extremely rare after a btl. The docs I spoke to didn't sight that as a problem/side effect, that's mostly online 😅 If menopause will come either way, it's not a big deal to me. Estrogen is a hormone and they are not affected by a btl.
I think women should be free to decide what they want to do with their bodies. The questions they were asking were considering OTHER PPLE, not you. That's just sad. If u get pregnant, u are the one that will carry the load, LITERALLY! The only thing they should ask is if you are 100% sure and maybe do a psych eval to be certain you are in the right state of mind.
Those questions weren't based on me getting it or not, I was definitely getting it coz they were talking to me while I was on the table. That's why I mentioned I believe it was more about their own personal opinions and also, I do look younger than I am so they assumed I was too young to be doing it. Even the doctor at first was concerned about age but once I shared my age he was at ease. But I agree, they shouldn't ask but at the same time I think they were curious coz all the other patients appeared way older than I am
Idk if the 100% sure thing is fair 🤔 People get children when 20% sure and regret it, but people don't tell women to avoid having children. They behave like not having children is the end of life.
I actually think it should apply to that too, if you are not 100% sure about having children don't have them! Children are as permanent as getting your tubes tied is, so in both instances, you should definitely be 100% sure that you are willing to live with the decision you make.
I am sorry if I will sound judgemental but, you dont want to have children but want to continually have sex, thats just promiscuity to me especially given you are not married...as in I know people do this lakini it is usually because they dont want kids anymore, but anyway to each their own and also its your body and your life so live it however best you see fit😊
1) Yes, because if sex was only for having children women would get pregnant everytime they have sex. 2) last I checked, sex isn't just for married people. 3) I have no problem with promiscuity. 4) I live my life for me and you said all those things don't work for YOU, we don't have the same standards.
Thank you. it's sad that we always have to remind people that we are living our lives and not theirs. They are welcome to do what works for them just like we are doing what works for us.
@iman_39, this is a weird way of thinking when ONE OF the other possible options for someone who doesn’t want to have kids, but wants to have sex IS getting pregnant and then aborting the pregnancy. It feels like you don’t have any judgments for women who get pregnant without the marriage. Believe it or not, Wanting kids is a decision to be deeply thought of.
If you have a question that wasn't asked you can leave it here and I'll respond to it...
Do you have any kids?
Ok. I get it. You don't have kids and never intend to.
I love that you know what you want and stick to it and are open about it. That is very admirable. That level of self-awareness is what we should all aim for. I am pretty sure some women only want children because they think that is what is required or expected of them not because they desire to be mothers.
This is 💯 true... I think a lot of people haven't actually given a thought to what it actually means to have a child but they still go ahead with it because that's what normal looks like, it has always been considered the natural progression of things and so they just jump in without question.
When I heard her story,I was so inspired... currently am healing,6 days post op 🎉🎉
Awwww I hope you heal up beautifully.
I just got mine 4 months ago...best decision ever❤
Yaaaaay! So happy for you. Definitely a great idea
This is such an important conversation!!! We are finally in an age where this has been made possible for those who don't want children. Personally I want children, but I have so many friends who have been looking for this kind of permanent solution.
So true. It's always a reminder to those who might feel like thy are alone on this journey, that tuko wengi.
I got mine done 5months ago, after I watched your video on BTL. My husband had to consent for it to be done, but it was more like he was the next of Kin. I had no resistance from the doctor, because it was a private hospital and it meant more money for them. I was supposed to go have it 6 weeks post normal delivery, but I had signed the papers days before I was due for labour, fortunately I ended up having a Csection and they did the BTL during the operation. Post surgery recovery, I can't say... cause I had complications post delivery but it was not because of BTL.
I don't feel the need to tell the aunties that are always asking for more grand babies, already the family was worried when they were told I was not giving birth naturally. CS is still a taboo in some parts of Africa, what more childfree and self sterilisation 😂😂😂.
But am living my best life, I can plan for my future, give my 3kids the best I can afford financially and emotionally and have control over my career. But you sealed my decision to have BTL
I'm concerned about that part of consent, because a next of kin never needs to consent to a procedure... I totally get that aunties part... they don't need to know because it doesn't actually concern them.
I love that for you and your little ones too. I love it when someone says, "I know what I can handle, and that's what I am willing to do"
How is CS a taboo honestly?!!! Hope u r healing well. Wishing you all the best
@mula.a I've seen conversations that imply women who choose CS are considered to be less than because they 'refused' to experience the pain of child birth... even being called names because some people think it's an aesthetic issue.
And this is online... when it comes to conversations with the older generations, it can become even more hectic trying to explain it.
@IAmMuthoniGitau yeah. Me too. N sad of all is the women perpetuating this stereotype. Honestly, who cares even if it is aesthetic. With all the issues that comes with being a woman, we should never look down on someone for the path they chose regarding THEIR OWN BODY. It is tough and rough and we could all use with a bit of help. It's is stupid, honestly. Like going through excruciating pain is the threshold for motherhood. We won't even get on how CS IS PAINFUL AND TAKES LONGER TO HEAL.
💯💯💯 I totally agree... We really already deal with so much as is
Muthoni,I love and admire how you show up for yourself.
Thank you Susan, it has taken a lot to get here and it is definitely something that takes practice...
I love your mindset and living your life according to your own rules and standards.
I think cultural mindset has fed this thing that women cannot do that because it will affect others, then the question to ask, how about what the individual feels?
Am here for the taking charge of our lives.
Exactly, the fact that women are always expected to consider how others feel FIRST and our feelings don't factor in, has never sat right with me.
As a child free woman who already made this choice a long time ago and told her parents back then she ain't bringing grandkids, I'm definitely considering this.
It definitely comes with peace of mind, I can tell you that for sure.
I wish people would be more aware and live this freely!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Children are hard 😭 very hard!
Even from a distance I can tell they are hard and they are definitely not my type of hard 😂😂😂
@@IAmMuthoniGitau there is no rest,no rest as a human being you practically disappear and these men don't care!!!!! Women need to take charge! Thank you for choosing freedom 😞
Wueh, let me tell you Maina... I've seen it happen so many times.
You said it . Mothers say how they don’t have time to rest then call us selfish because we don’t want kids . Why do they want us to suffer together ?????? No thank you.
@@muthonisonderleiterkanyoi coz they want you to feel the same pain the same hard, even our mums failed us! Am glad we can openly talk about it, motherhood is hard very hard
I had it done 18 months ago, and am happy and have no regrets
Yaaaaay! Congratulations! It's such a freeing process.
I love this for you!! I’m also child free & yes our “culture” & healthcare services are prone to ask us to second guess because in future you might want🙄 But yes people need to make sure that this is what they want & do tonnes of research
So true and I often feel it comes from a point of their personal opinions and hardly about what your thoughts are on the matter... it's like they don't actually listen to you, they just want to plant seeds of doubt.
Can we just love on and celebrate that we are almost reaching 40k?!!!!like giiiiirlll💃💃💃💃💃💃... #TeamMsooh to the world!!
So close! We will get there!
Thank you so much . This helps a lot . Been thinking about getting mine tied since I have kids already and I don't plan on adding more. Better option than the hormonal shenanigans
Glad it was helpful! The hormonal stuff can do a number on your body, I also like because now my body can function without the stuff the implant pumps into my body.
5:52 This!!! Great point, I'll use this. People like to invalidate your reasons.
11:25 😂😂😂 you're hilarious!! I'm 99% sure. I'm trying to get over that 1% uncertainty.
It’s very weird that many people don’t understand a woman’s reproductive system,Having periods doesn’t mean a woman is fertile,a woman can be infertile but still have their periods.Not every woman Ovulate,and there can never be pregnancy without ovulation,A woman can also be having regular periods but that doesn’t necessarily mean ovulation occurred alongside the periods.Everyone need to get educated regarding that.
This is so true, our education system kind of failed us in that regard. We lack a lot of information and most people don't even bother trying to find out more.
Thank you for sharing your story. Question.. If you by oops became preggers before your btl.. Would you keep it?
Hell no!
I love this for you! As someone who is high in Agreeableness(thus easily swayed) you have inspired me lots!
Awww thank you. You can keep working on it and learning how to put up boundaries and sticking to them, start small and build on it, it can be done.
Oh, I understand you on the easily swayed part . Like I don't want more kids but there been the idea been dangled down about me having a baby girl since I have three boys and some time am like mhmm! Then I remember the the hardship and my decisions and am like nop. But if I keep up like this possibilities are endless 😅
@@Nyangemi I understand your predicament. That's why I am motivated by women like Muthoni. To our defence, women are naturally high in agreeableness because it's our evolutionary role to nurture babies and ensure they survive. A baby can't compromise, so women were designed to do the compromising to ensure it survives😁. Though society also teaches women to be compromising therefore the odds are against us both from the biological and societal perspective 😂
First off that make up look...😘😘yesss!!! Second of all, thank you for your honesty in sharing something so intimate and vulnerable. While my decision on having children is neither here nor there, i appreciate hearing views from different women on the subject. Continue to stay true to yourself❤❤
Thank you so much Maureen, other perspectives are always interesting to hear for sure.
Good for you on making a well informed decision. I wish this conversation could be blown up for men!! Vasectomies should be highly considered. Women have been reaping the consequences of ignorance in reproductive health for too long, they’ve been the ones to choose if they want kids or not and then, we have men who are having unprotected sex and denying all responsibilities when it comes to acknowledging and raising kids.
I totally agree with you on this one! Vasectomies should be normalised.
I had mine done after my second C-SECTION, and I got so many negative reviews, but so long as I'm happy I'm good. Do you mama.❤
Who were the reviews from?
@@IAmMuthoniGitau family and some friends.
Oh I see... Let them be. I'm sure you don't make choices for them, they shouldn't think they can make choices for you.
It's my choice. Wajipange.
I love that for you! Watu wajipange na maisha yao...
Love this for you Muthoni!💕
💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿 thank you.
I had my tubes tied during my CS after I had my youngest. My doctor told me that just like a vasectomy, it can be reversed and 80% of women who choose to undergo the reversal procedure do end up conceiving. However, the reversal process is EXPENSIVE. Women need to note that like any birth control methods, it’s 99% effective so there’s still that 1% lingering chance for the “lucky” few 😁
Unfortunately, the way the procedure is done here, a reversal isn't exactly an option and also a reversal is difficult. It's actually considered the most effective at more that 99% that's what getting pregnant after one is actually considered a freakish incident.
Thanks gal, I've really learnt a lot!
You're so welcome!
I love your confidence
Thank you 💕
As long as you are happy ❤
I wish more Kenyan women would think like you
We all have our journeys to take and hopefully we all eventually get what we want for ourselves.
I’m having fever just listening to the process 😅 that’s how intolerant i am to pain 😢
😂😂😂 I heard a lot of people sometimes leave when the doc starts explaining that some pain will be involved.
How has your family responded especially your mum
It's not a conversation we've had. I think she already made peace with the fact that I don't want to have children because that's the conversation we've had.
When I make these choices I make them with me in mind and no one else, so their feelings don't count.
My sister was pretty chill about it, if they have any feelings, they haven't shared them with me and I love that for myself 😂😂😂
@@IAmMuthoniGitauyou’re so sure of yourself. All the best
Thank you, it is something I have given a lot of thought.
@@IAmMuthoniGitau this comment is a wake up call for me to always make choices for me. Thanks for that eye opener
You are the one person who knows what's best for you and you'll also be the one to live with those choices, so your opinion is the most important.
Thinking of going through the procedure after my first baby.....😊😊
I know some doctors are open to tying your tubes immediately you give birth especially if it's through CS, it's like a 2 for one type deal.
@@IAmMuthoniGitautrying or tying?
thank you. 💖❤
You're welcome 😊
Tying your tubes is actually reversible but if you want to reverse the procedure, why get it done in the first place? 🤷🏽♀️
There's a reason I say it's not reversible because 1) it's extremely difficult and expensive AF and 2) the chances of a pregnancy after are pretty low... so yes, why get one if you intend to reverse it? There are other effective ways of birth control that wouldn't be as difficult or expensive...
Actually, it is sold as a permanent procedure because of that.
Ghurl said she'd watch us die😅 before she gives us a savior. Cheeeeeei😮
😂😂😂 si we said we are standing on business this year ama?
if Noah did it, why not me?
😂😂😂😂 ❤❤❤
Dead
😂😂😂😂
❤❤❤
Girl, you didn't just say that @ min 17:07😂😂😂
Sure. You cant regret what you dont want. Women go through a lot of challenges during child birth and even with other birth control methods.
I totally agree!
Can you guide me on the cost,,,I admire doing it ,,,,
I talked about it in the video...
Somebody told me it's only done to ladies above 30 how true is this
There's nuance and context when it comes to the age thing...
I’m stuck at make-up for a radio show. 😊
😂😂😂 I get why that would be confusing, it's audio visual so I like getting dolled up for it.
Early menopause comes with very serious side effects
lol which very serious side effects?
@mpendamziki477 as someone already going through it I can tell you.....first tl causes rapid decline in estrogen....which is essential for healthy brain, healthy bones, healthy genitourinary system. Low estrogen can lead to cardiovascular diseases, osteoporosis, early dementia etc...plus low libido....to prevent all these issues you have to supplement with estrogen
But you can google to learn more about it or get that info from a gynecologist
Early menopause is extremely rare after a btl. The docs I spoke to didn't sight that as a problem/side effect, that's mostly online 😅
If menopause will come either way, it's not a big deal to me.
Estrogen is a hormone and they are not affected by a btl.
😶
Too stunned to speak? I love it! 💕
Could you explain whether you have painful period cramps or not coz thats the common side effect of the procedure.
I've never had a painful period in my life even before the procedure and it's been the same since the procedure
T-3 🎉
💃💃💃
🥳
The way you speak also transforms with make-up. 😂
Oh really? I don't think I noticed that. 😂😂😂
I think women should be free to decide what they want to do with their bodies. The questions they were asking were considering OTHER PPLE, not you. That's just sad. If u get pregnant, u are the one that will carry the load, LITERALLY! The only thing they should ask is if you are 100% sure and maybe do a psych eval to be certain you are in the right state of mind.
Those questions weren't based on me getting it or not, I was definitely getting it coz they were talking to me while I was on the table.
That's why I mentioned I believe it was more about their own personal opinions and also, I do look younger than I am so they assumed I was too young to be doing it. Even the doctor at first was concerned about age but once I shared my age he was at ease.
But I agree, they shouldn't ask but at the same time I think they were curious coz all the other patients appeared way older than I am
Idk if the 100% sure thing is fair 🤔
People get children when 20% sure and regret it, but people don't tell women to avoid having children.
They behave like not having children is the end of life.
I actually think it should apply to that too, if you are not 100% sure about having children don't have them!
Children are as permanent as getting your tubes tied is, so in both instances, you should definitely be 100% sure that you are willing to live with the decision you make.
Pj@@IAmMuthoniGitau
@@IAmMuthoniGitau Amen
I am sorry if I will sound judgemental but, you dont want to have children but want to continually have sex, thats just promiscuity to me especially given you are not married...as in I know people do this lakini it is usually because they dont want kids anymore, but anyway to each their own and also its your body and your life so live it however best you see fit😊
1) Yes, because if sex was only for having children women would get pregnant everytime they have sex.
2) last I checked, sex isn't just for married people.
3) I have no problem with promiscuity.
4) I live my life for me and you said all those things don't work for YOU, we don't have the same standards.
Thank you. it's sad that we always have to remind people that we are living our lives and not theirs. They are welcome to do what works for them just like we are doing what works for us.
@iman_39, this is a weird way of thinking when ONE OF the other possible options for someone who doesn’t want to have kids, but wants to have sex IS getting pregnant and then aborting the pregnancy. It feels like you don’t have any judgments for women who get pregnant without the marriage. Believe it or not, Wanting kids is a decision to be deeply thought of.
❤❤