LARSA PIPPEN'S MAN MALIK BEASLEY APOLOGIZES TO WIFE: How To Get Your Ex Back | Shallon Lester

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  • Опубликовано: 6 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 557

  • @Leah-rt7qw
    @Leah-rt7qw 3 года назад +540

    One thing I would add: I think that even if you’ve been kind of a pathetic mess with a guy, if you really ice him out and stick to your guns and a new (predetermined) strategy, you can still win the war. It’s always when you feel over a guy that he comes crawling back. Even if you lost a couple of battles, remember the end game- maybe you’ll find that you won something better than him...

    • @shirin9452
      @shirin9452 3 года назад +25

      LOL this gives me hope, I want so badly to be an ice queen to my ex (my version of which would be friends but generally unbothered by what he’s doing), but he is my first love and I always break down after a few weeks of trying to be friends and show how hurt I am that we couldn’t make it work. To his credit, he’s always acknowledged that he feels the same and is just as sad, but I just want to be graceful and disinterested. So hearing this helps. I’m gathering strength and slowly moving on and hopefully soon I can assume the ice queen demeanor I deserve 😂😂

    • @blj1523
      @blj1523 3 года назад +30

      I think what helps is having a small arsenal of women who can empathize and help you move forward. It’s a balance between a public spectacle and repression. It’s conscious mourning so either way you win because you get over him either way and can make a conscious decision if he comes back. If he doesn’t, you are now over him.

    • @shirin9452
      @shirin9452 3 года назад +10

      @@blj1523 I totally agree with you but all my friends are out of state 😭 And my ex was also my best friend (before dating). So it really is a bit hard :( Also, he’s definitely not coming back, the whole reason we didn’t make it is because of his insane, same-race-and-religion-only family, and we both didn’t want me to be trapped like that. So it’s good if he doesn’t come back, and he won’t. I just need to realize that I’m better off being set free than being trapped into his family, but he’s my first love and I’ve never felt as loved and protected as with him. It sucks. I would absolutely be doing better if my friends were around, though. I wouldn’t miss him nearly as much.

    • @salamander8301
      @salamander8301 3 года назад +16

      Itslike they have some kind of homing device that pings when a woman becones apathetic towards them.

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +103

      YES YES YES. If anything, it's MORE radical and earth-shaking when suddenly...after he THINKS he knows exactly how you'll react...to shake that up and ice him? DAMN. Lulling an enemy into a false sense of security is an amazing tactic. Of course, it's better to win battles AND the war, but it's never too late to choose strategy versus desperation.

  • @Praveen-meets-Youtube
    @Praveen-meets-Youtube 3 года назад +421

    The Queen Elizabeth quote : "To do nothing, to say nothing is the hardest job of all. It requires every ounce of energy that we have." (THE CROWN S3E6)

  • @jmart8800
    @jmart8800 3 года назад +402

    I hate being negative towards the woman more than the man... but I will NEVER understand taking a man back who has hurt me deeply and embarrassed me. Not enough love in the world. I lose so much respect for women who not only want a man like that back.. but take them back with open arms. Could never be me. Have some self-respect and leave him, sis.

    • @walkthemoon6533
      @walkthemoon6533 3 года назад +26

      I would only do this if I had much more to gain being with him than alone or with someone else, I mean, gain more than what I had before he left

    • @ishmerveille1733
      @ishmerveille1733 3 года назад +15

      I'm sure she's thinking about their kid but that guy he's so stupid 🤦‍♀️

    • @Meeounn
      @Meeounn 3 года назад +13

      Honey, it's money. Alimony/child support checks can be decent but it will always be less than just staying together.

    • @winstonchurchill571
      @winstonchurchill571 3 года назад +10

      Like Khloe Kardaschia, she started a big fight agains Jordin to take bach a cheater with multiple baby mamas.
      I really don't respect this woman, zero dignity.

    • @krissysherrell6625
      @krissysherrell6625 3 года назад +5

      If you had a baby with someone, you are stuck with them for life. Not 18 years, for life. Having a baby is a larger commitment than marriage. Marriage can be done in divorce court or a well written prenup. A child needs a relationship with both parents and may be many situations where you need to both be there.

  • @Rose-gv9ff
    @Rose-gv9ff 3 года назад +422

    Exactly! My dad always said a man will walk a thousand miles for a woman that he loves.

    • @Mikey-mb6lb
      @Mikey-mb6lb 3 года назад +10

      LOOOOOOL he surely did when he embarrassed his wife publicly!

    • @missminti
      @missminti 3 года назад +24

      And then, when once he has had his fill, he will promptly replace her with the next conquest. Grand gestures mean nothing. Consistency and loyalty over time is all that matters.

    • @adrianeelise3849
      @adrianeelise3849 3 года назад

      @@missminti lmao

    • @Mikey-mb6lb
      @Mikey-mb6lb 3 года назад +4

      @@missminti exactly! Consistency with loyalty and commitment is quiet, this cheater was loud and currently is still publicly chatting bs.

    • @nyckidd6004
      @nyckidd6004 3 года назад

      Only a dump would do that

  • @EVZimora
    @EVZimora 3 года назад +310

    I'd rather be with someone who doesn't step out in the first place.

    • @nope_no_nunya.
      @nope_no_nunya. 3 года назад +28

      Exactly.

    • @carmensandiego4270
      @carmensandiego4270 3 года назад +9

      Exactly! I couldn’t go back , ESPECIALLY with a public humiliation like this

  • @pristinegovender
    @pristinegovender 3 года назад +150

    So true. My ex cheated on me but I didn’t put him on blast, I didn’t swear at him or scream or anything. I just broke up with him and he never heard from me again. 10 years and a failed marriage later, he is in my DM’s asking for a second chance, saying I was the one that got away🤣🤣🤣 I never responded and never will but DAMN it feels good to know I won😂😂😂

    • @jjm8224
      @jjm8224 3 года назад +6

      👏👏👏

    • @feliciaboston6365
      @feliciaboston6365 2 года назад

      I'm disgusted that he thought he could get married and come back like yuck . Probably got her pregnant, fked her so many times then wants to come back

  • @daniellemary1619
    @daniellemary1619 3 года назад +314

    Love this Shallon quote: "Mystery is your greatest weapon." It's true it will always leave him and everyone else second guessing what you've been up too.

    • @clairelicciardo6198
      @clairelicciardo6198 3 года назад +5

      Absolutely! There were some gems in here another one about "The truth will set you free" and the insanity of it on planet Earth. Yessssss!

    • @rochegold7060
      @rochegold7060 3 года назад +3

      Me going to strategize my social media.

  • @AZ-uu9em
    @AZ-uu9em 3 года назад +79

    LEGIT advice! I have been icing guys out since i was 18. i'm 40 now.......THEY ALWAYS COME BACK! EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

    • @KDGG97
      @KDGG97 3 года назад +9

      Done it since I was 15, almost 10 years later, has never failed 💃🏼

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +34

      They ALWAYS come back. If you play it right, it's just this endless cavalcade of "I still love you 🥺" until the day god takes us.

  • @mbel1488
    @mbel1488 3 года назад +152

    I’ve used this exact method based on Shallons previous videos. Works every time. I ice them out and keep it moving. Business as usual except hyper speed in the personal growth department. (Without any added social media attention.) Works every time. Except sometimes I realize I don’t even want them anymore. Lol

    • @KDGG97
      @KDGG97 3 года назад +15

      I’ve applied it since I was 15 and it hasnt failed, ever, not even ONCE 💃🏼 I’m 24 btw

    • @omphilemoerane2569
      @omphilemoerane2569 3 года назад +33

      Right. It's not even flattering that a person wants you only when they no longer have access to you. That's the turn off.

    • @klddere3734
      @klddere3734 3 года назад +5

      It works till you start giving him attention then he will be gone again. Happens every time. Not worth it

  • @rachmaninovwasemo2313
    @rachmaninovwasemo2313 3 года назад +325

    My boyfriend is very shy and has bad social anxiety, but he came after me harder than I've ever seen him come after anything!
    Also, he's a bit younger and actually more mature than all the older guys I ever dated. Good guys can be older, good guys can be younger, and shitty guys don't mature with age.

    • @khatreh3735
      @khatreh3735 3 года назад +4

      *Shitty guys don't mature with age*
      The accuracy of this phrase...

  • @cleok1868
    @cleok1868 3 года назад +90

    I found out he was messing with other girls while stringing me along. For the record he always talked about taking me to dubai (his birth city) so the first thing I did was go on a month long trip there without telling him anything. He found out from social media.
    When I got back home he absolutely spammed my phone. I only answered him one month later on my birthday pretending I didn’t know this was his number. I was friendly enough like we were never more than friends. Mutual friends say he is absolutely broken. That was 2 years ago. I owe it to my girl Shallon who turned me from girl next door to the badass that I am today.

    • @klddere3734
      @klddere3734 3 года назад +3

      Dating an arab guy, what did you expect....

  • @HT0369
    @HT0369 3 года назад +141

    This is the best advice you have given. If we just stopped giving these kind of people attention and sex they will leave us alone. I have a good boyfriend but it took a lot of self love and self respect that I needed to learn to attract that.

  • @jovanaespinoza6124
    @jovanaespinoza6124 3 года назад +149

    It's crazy how consistently Shallon posts videos. That really takes dedication and self discipline 👌I love that.

    • @RomyElizabeth
      @RomyElizabeth 3 года назад

      mad respect!! ❤️

    • @sw-hg8eq
      @sw-hg8eq 3 года назад

      Yeah, I don't care about the celebrities. I am here to learn from Shallon's work ethics,

  • @myrtavida
    @myrtavida 3 года назад +94

    Shallon, you have a true gift for crafting an argument that’s grounded in pragmatism and wrapped up in tools for growth and self-empowerment. Wish this channel had been around when I was in my 20s! 🙂🙂

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +38

      Wow, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (don't worry when you were in your 20s I was learning all this the hardest of hard ways 🥴)

  • @ploomskin5509
    @ploomskin5509 3 года назад +190

    It’s all fun and games until they leave you AGAIN for someone else. When someone shows you who they are believe them.

  • @lilmakori
    @lilmakori 3 года назад +111

    I would rather mop the ocean floor than take back a man who publicly cheated on me.

    • @Lauren_22613
      @Lauren_22613 3 года назад +5

      Lol yes!!! Love this analogy!

  • @bfigueroa3301
    @bfigueroa3301 3 года назад +77

    "You act in chaos, you get chaos. You act in strategy, you get results for what you want in life" ... I need to frame this

  • @carolinec3683
    @carolinec3683 3 года назад +83

    I can’t believe this content is free. THANK YOU SHALLON🥳💕

    • @lauraj8913
      @lauraj8913 3 года назад +2

      Honestly. I love her so much

  • @highpriestess3100
    @highpriestess3100 3 года назад +58

    This remind me of when Bella was silent and living her best life while The Weekend went on to date Selena. It’s the moment I gained even more respect for Bella and lost all for Selena. And didn’t The Weekend slither back to Bella after him and Selena broke up??? I love this advice 😎

    • @Porcelynnn
      @Porcelynnn 3 года назад +6

      Well that relationship between Selena and The Weeknd was fake and for PR lol. Abel looked genuinely happy when he got back with Bella

  • @geavannajohn-marie664
    @geavannajohn-marie664 11 месяцев назад +4

    I just really love that in youtube's chapters for the video, it has "7:05, Family Over Thing" 😂

  • @m23g16
    @m23g16 3 года назад +108

    I’m a pretty girl with aspergers and im so blessed you are here, I couldn’t understand so many things that have happened when men chased me, and what I should have thought or done to protect myself because I’m very easy to get taken advantage of by toxic Narcissist, almost married one and ran for the hills hé became abuse. I thought I was going to just be alone because I didn’t understand the relationship aspect or social interactions well enough. Thank you

    • @Yourmomma160
      @Yourmomma160 3 года назад +10

      Same here

    • @walkthemoon6533
      @walkthemoon6533 3 года назад +17

      I don't have aspergers but I guess I am just too innocent... I feel ya

    • @katherinechase3674
      @katherinechase3674 3 года назад +7

      I know a woman with this at work. Be very careful! The woman I am referring to is extremely gullible, not just in romantic relationships, but on all levels. Her opinions wildly change from one direction to the next, (ex. politically) which leaves her open to getting taken advantage of.

  • @alejandravalenzuela4545
    @alejandravalenzuela4545 3 года назад +84

    YOUR IMPRESSION OF PRINCE CHARLES 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @carissahamel2465
    @carissahamel2465 3 года назад +40

    That good old saying ‘the one who cares the least has the most power’. Even if it’s pretending.

  • @mariahashimoto2053
    @mariahashimoto2053 3 года назад +78

    I learned over the years not to go back to a guy, because I can never love him or trust him the way I did before, and I just prolong the inevitable breakup

  • @angelinaperea6253
    @angelinaperea6253 3 года назад +68

    "Clapping when the plane lands! The Whisper Goose who wants a kidney." I laughed so hard that I had to pull over (was listening over the speaker in my car)!

  • @cristinaorlando2408
    @cristinaorlando2408 3 года назад +269

    Future hooking up with Larsa to spite Scotty is the level of revenge I aspire to have 😂

    • @celinectg7136
      @celinectg7136 3 года назад +11

      That’s what men would do… but what women would do to reach the same level of revenge? Using sex doesn’t have the same effect… hope you see what I mean 🙂

    • @walkthemoon6533
      @walkthemoon6533 3 года назад +12

      @@celinectg7136 steal the man for real, make him fall in love

    • @Praveen-meets-Youtube
      @Praveen-meets-Youtube 3 года назад +4

      That's a tough act to follow 😂

    • @maybug88
      @maybug88 3 года назад +5

      It comes naturally if you're a Scorpio 😈

    • @caityvalentine
      @caityvalentine 3 года назад +2

      Long con

  • @dorivimi
    @dorivimi 3 года назад +32

    My bf dumped me via text. First I was in shock. Called him, but after that humiliating evening I didn't do anything. I wrote him a letter but only in my journal. After 3 months he came back. That was 4 years ago. He still apologizes for the brake up. Trust in Shallons war plan!

  • @sparklyunicorn5431
    @sparklyunicorn5431 3 года назад +126

    Sorry but I will never fight for anyone.. once that trust is broken you can never truly repair it. Sorry to say, it's better that they leave forever. There are plenty of other experiences in the world that are more worthy of my time and effort.

    • @salsa_baby7148
      @salsa_baby7148 3 года назад +7

      How do u get that self control? Like not think about it and just make urself be like too bad we’re over it bc it’s not something I deserve I can put distance but I break down in silence for way too long idk how to move on from some fucked up shit they put me thru and I dotn think anyone can understand bc it was so fucked up

    • @sparklyunicorn5431
      @sparklyunicorn5431 3 года назад +1

      @@salsa_baby7148 I'm sorry hun, that's awful someone hurt you that way. I think focusing on your healing, and protecting your spirit from further harm can be enough motivation to break away from them. Through experience I learned this tough lesson. People will never change because we want them to. Believe who they are when they SHOW you who they are. Nothing good ever came of giving people second chances after cheating or betrayal. It is best to let God take them out of our lives. Don't fight it. Do it for your own wellbeing

    • @Jujulianap
      @Jujulianap 3 года назад +1

      Yesss 🙌🏻

    • @katherinechase3674
      @katherinechase3674 3 года назад

      @Florentina that's super smart, props!

  • @emily2675
    @emily2675 3 года назад +24

    Handling the break up in the moment has been key for me. With the last guy I dated, we were breaking up and I made myself stay calm, listen to him without interrupting, thanked him for being honest and told him I loved our time together but agreed it was time to let each other go. Then, I did not reach out to him in an way. A few months later, he was back (though I did not take him back). People show who they are during the break up, if you can be calm, poised and respectful during that awful moment, he is going to regret losing you.

  • @JustForBelle12
    @JustForBelle12 3 года назад +62

    My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me completely out of nowhere so this is exactly what I’m doing. Completely ice cold until he realizes what he’s missing.
    Thank you Shallon! 😘

    • @MindyBeee
      @MindyBeee 3 года назад +15

      He did you a favour.

    • @mistym0rning
      @mistym0rning 3 года назад +9

      If he broke up with you out of nowhere, I wouldn’t even plan on making him miss you and realize his mistake. You are worth so much more than someone who blindsides you. He probably had some sort of issues going on or not sure if he’s ready to settle down or whatever, but never spoke up about it until the very final moment where he dropped a bombshell on you. This is a sign of extreme lack of consideration and respect for you.
      Anyway, you do you, of course 😌 and whatever is best for you. I’m just saying, whatever you decide to do now should be in the interest of healing yourself and doing things that are making yourself better & stronger - not to make him crawling back. ✨

    • @JustForBelle12
      @JustForBelle12 3 года назад +1

      @@mistym0rning Wow this is so well said and exactly what I needed to hear ❤️

    • @valeriesomers296
      @valeriesomers296 3 года назад

      Update?

    • @JustForBelle12
      @JustForBelle12 3 года назад +8

      @@valeriesomers296 Turns out he came right back a month later realizing what he lost and I took the time to grow as an individual without him. We are now together but so much stronger because of it

  • @hangoutwithme346
    @hangoutwithme346 3 года назад +57

    One of your best videos and it didn’t really end up being about getting your man back but about self control and dignity 👍🏻

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +33

      It's funny how they're inextricably related. We think that to get someone back, we have to sacrifice ourselves, to just drown in someone else. Actually the opposite is true. When we pull back--which is so hard and seems to antithetical to instinct--amazing things happen. Either they realize our value OR we realize our own value. Either way, we win.

    • @sharonchepkorir3571
      @sharonchepkorir3571 3 года назад +3

      @@shallonlester Either way we win👏🏾

  • @miaterego4698
    @miaterego4698 3 года назад +57

    I can not get enough of that beautiful hair color. YOU LOOK STUNNING

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +8

      Thank you so much!!

    • @MindyBeee
      @MindyBeee 3 года назад +1

      Getting lighter to go back blonde???

  • @HT0369
    @HT0369 3 года назад +83

    I hope she doesn't take him back.

  • @yankaclementi1935
    @yankaclementi1935 3 года назад +121

    My dad left my mom randomly a few years ago and said he was moving out to a hotel to figure it out, etc. My mom gave him about a month (while leaving him alone aside from house/kid business). Then hit him with - I want divorce papers and my alimony sorted my xmas (about two months away). I have trips to plan, I'm going to sort out where to move. Meet with your lawyer and sort it out, let me know so I can plan. He was back home that weekend begging for a talk and apologizing that he didn't want to leave.

    • @omphilemoerane2569
      @omphilemoerane2569 3 года назад +48

      Lol he didn't want to pay alimony😂

    • @squreshi8413
      @squreshi8413 3 года назад +45

      Never let a man separate. Its divorce without him having to pay. My dad tried this.... nah uh. Divorce. Pay child support and alimony. Or get in line. You still get child support and alimony if u r the one to file I believe. So they better live in fear if they are the type to love money more than their own mothers (my literal dad).

    • @michellete8545
      @michellete8545 3 года назад +12

      Lol she should have gone through with it, ridiculous man and he didn’t magically change his mind just because she called out his ass. I guess they could discuss what is going bad in this marriage and try to fix it but based on his childish way of how he handled things I wouldn’t bother. Her decision of course it’s her marriage not mine 😆

    • @katherinechase3674
      @katherinechase3674 3 года назад +1

      @@squreshi8413 depends on the state (here in the U.S.). In California, you must be married a minimum of two years to receive alimony. Then, alimony received is half the time of the marriage total. The amount of alimony depends on income discrepancy. So, the income matters, the gender does not. With child support, the same rules apply, sans 2 year time minimum, adding in amount of consistent time spent with the child. The average child support awarded in California in $225! Yikes!

  • @GB-ic1im
    @GB-ic1im 3 года назад +31

    When a woman begs for an abuser, she shows her LACK of self-love and self-respect. Work on yourselves ladies...! ❤

  • @Relaxits2024
    @Relaxits2024 3 года назад +73

    Sorry 😂😂😂 dying
    “Why is she sending me a picture of her but hole, I’m at work?” 😂😂😂😂😂. I really am here for Shallon’s comedy

    • @ploomskin5509
      @ploomskin5509 3 года назад

      I died.

    • @kyliewilson2911
      @kyliewilson2911 3 года назад +2

      So funny i burst out laughing when I head that so random but so Shallon 😂😂😂

  • @joycebolanos4873
    @joycebolanos4873 3 года назад +15

    Shallon you are right. When Prince William was dating Catherine and he dumped her, she did nothing and even was seen going out with her sister having a fab time. And a few months later he came back!

  • @wellsr9280
    @wellsr9280 3 года назад +21

    During my most recent heartbreak, I wrote in my notes anything I wanted to say to the guy when I was feeling the urge to text him. I also planned out responses to him for when he reaches out again. On top of that, I have dove into learning about my attachment style, narcissism, early red flags in a relationship, and created a list of my needs I’ll require in the next relationship I’m in.

  • @xmercymusicx
    @xmercymusicx 3 года назад +10

    Shallon is 100% right as usual. I followed this advice from her when my first love ended things last year & after 8 months of dead silence & non-reaction from me, he reached out begging for me back. Now I'm moving to his city for work & he's obsessed with me. He has done a complete 180-- he even sent me a gift when I got the job!

  • @niniashley8179
    @niniashley8179 3 года назад +14

    This video is one of the truest videos I have seen on youtube in a long time. It really does work. Men always want what they think they can not have, just make yourself that nonchalant woman that doesn't want him, his attitude will change. Great video Shallon!

  • @Rose-gv9ff
    @Rose-gv9ff 3 года назад +75

    Yes, silence is the key... that’s why my ex came back and dumped the girl he was with for me.

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +56

      Yes. It'll do more than any words ever can. For guys especially, silence is deadly. They absolutely can't handle it. There's no viciousness or kindness that can possibly do what 0 words can.

    • @Rose-gv9ff
      @Rose-gv9ff 3 года назад +2

      @@shallonlester 👏 it sure does! 🤐

    • @LA-gh3mi
      @LA-gh3mi 3 года назад +12

      @@shallonlester I swear it makes them regress back to their childhood when mummy did the same, it freaks them out, it's like an emotional 'timeout'😬

    • @MindyBeee
      @MindyBeee 3 года назад +3

      I wouldn't take his ass back...not for a second!

    • @shmooboogieharper748
      @shmooboogieharper748 3 года назад

      @@isaura-22 why do you think that is? What makes them remember the good when your silent vs remembering the good if you talk here and there and arnt on bad terms?

  • @milachyc88
    @milachyc88 3 года назад +57

    Why get someone who cheated on you and left you without money and kicked you out if the house with your child? Please get some self love and confidence and walk away! Let him learn the hard way 😖 Larsa didn’t lose anything, she just had fun 🤩 I don’t blame her. She is single can do what she wants.

    • @kiuk_kiks
      @kiuk_kiks 3 года назад +7

      Larsa is a mess. Imagine being passed around among men and thinking that it’s empowering.

    • @JaZmine147
      @JaZmine147 3 года назад +10

      @yassi jass desperation ain't sexy though

    • @agathachris9722
      @agathachris9722 3 года назад

      Exactly.

    • @kiuk_kiks
      @kiuk_kiks 3 года назад +4

      @yassi jass
      4th wave feminists are so delusional. You’ll call anything empowering provided it make you feel good. A homie-hopping fe male isn’t empowered. Being used to produce the male orgasm isn’t empowering either, even though you get paid for it.

    • @maverickbull1909
      @maverickbull1909 3 года назад +5

      @yassi jass she is passed around because she’s Scottie pippens Ex and a wannabe kardashian. She’s a desperate groupie, almost 50, mom of 5 who sleeps with married 20 year olds. Get a clue

  • @Sarah-pm1tl
    @Sarah-pm1tl 3 года назад +28

    Wish I saw this a week ago! Entering ice mode 🥶

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +19

      It's never too late to ice. It's never too late for strategic cruelty 🔥

  • @michellebh
    @michellebh 3 года назад +124

    I don’t know who either of these people are but he’s clearly a narcissist hoovering his ex

    • @ThokoTwala
      @ThokoTwala 3 года назад +1

      What does hoovering mean?

    • @michellebh
      @michellebh 3 года назад +24

      @@ThokoTwala it’s a common manipulation tactic of narcissists, where they try to suck you back into a relationship after discarding or treating you poorly. It’s not sincere, and the victim will inevitably be discarded/abused again once the hoover is successful

    • @ThokoTwala
      @ThokoTwala 3 года назад +16

      @@michellebh Thought as much, had a guy who wouldn’t commit do the same to me. I acted strategically & iced him. He came back begging then he just returned to his old ways.

    • @michellebh
      @michellebh 3 года назад +10

      @@ThokoTwala I hope you’re free of him now!

    • @ThokoTwala
      @ThokoTwala 3 года назад +8

      @@michellebh Aw you’re so sweet🙂. It’s been a year of no contact and I’m not planning on contacting him again🙂

  • @lisar252
    @lisar252 3 года назад +15

    Ladiesss!! Listen to Shallon shes sooooo right!! I remember two years ago I fell for this guy HARD and I remember I broke up with him bc he was being really inconsistent and when I did he literally kept me on READ. He didn’t even reply!! But he posted on his story the next day that he’s going out with his friends. I was so devastated but I kept my dignity, showed no emotions, kept my mouth shut and just lived my normal life. Fast forward to now, he still DMs me and calls me multiple times wanting me back and even admitted how wrong he was for treating me like he did and admitted his mistakes and all that shit. I just ignore it cuz I’m genuinely over him and moved on 🤷🏻‍♀️ but it’s crazy how the tables have turned. Trust me, staying silent is the best move you can make and you might not see results immediately but you will eventually and it’s SO SO worth it! Now he keeps chasing me but I’m literally not even interested so he’s pretty much just talking to himself in my DMs 😅

  • @HankiMaus
    @HankiMaus 3 года назад +86

    This is exactly how I got my ex crawling back to me... ICE COLD. Guys can’t handle that. Had I behaved like a pathetic and desperate nut, I would’ve pushed him away and never gotten him back - for sure. Now the other question is, if it was a good thing to take him back, but well, I guess we all learn from our mistakes.🤪

    • @mushkamishka
      @mushkamishka 3 года назад +16

      He was cruel not only to her but to their child too. I couldn't forgive him. Malik showed his true colors.

    • @HankiMaus
      @HankiMaus 3 года назад +2

      @@mushkamishka I 100% agree with you.

  • @sigridj9459
    @sigridj9459 3 года назад +12

    Can confirm- this absolutely works. Even if your name has been dragged through the mud as a result. Being the less messy person always pays dividends long term. Just need to wade through the short term

  • @najwaalmabrok1672
    @najwaalmabrok1672 3 года назад +28

    Girl, t’s the makeup and the hair for me💕 You go queen 💃🏻you look gooorgeous.

  • @anonymousanon2828
    @anonymousanon2828 3 года назад +17

    YES, SOMEONE NAILED IT ABOUT OLIVIA. I love Olivia's music, her songs are absolute bops, incredible singer without any autotune, she seems very nice in interviews and God, haven't we all been there with a man? But I could not imagine her ex regretting his decisions when he sees just that insane outpour of emotion, forever knowing he has that grip over her. Silence is so so so key!

  • @tmarie69
    @tmarie69 3 года назад +19

    Your advice is always so spot on. I had to drop somebody recently and it hurt like hell, but I fr deserve so much more. I’ve worked too hard to be the best me to deal with a subpar him.

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +16

      SUPBAR HIM. Oh my god. Yes. When we're working on ourselves, and not just seeing but FEELING the 24/7 results of our own efforts, suddenly fixing some dipshit who absolutely does NOT want to be fixed...its so much less enticing. It's like cooking a gourmet meal for a possum.

  • @ThursdayASMR
    @ThursdayASMR 3 года назад +26

    I don't think Montana should take him back. I can't emphasize enough that actions speak louder than words. None of this should be publicized and I'm embarrassed for this woman. This is your baby's father. Think about this for a second. 😬

  • @limitless6436
    @limitless6436 3 года назад +9

    Just to make anyone watching this video feel better about their situation- I know this video is still relevant because I watched it when it came out and I’m back again because of this guy who broke up things with me. Today i understand it more and currently applying it. The breakup is where you set the tone and that will speed things up as to him coming back. If you ask too much questions, if you’re looking for closure, if you’re trying to find out if there’s any chance of getting back together it will blow your “ice cold cover”. In that conversation I remained calm, cold, understanding. I didn’t say anything that implied how I felt that moment (which was horrible), I didn’t let him know I wanted I second chance. I LET HIM GO. All I said was “I accept you’re decision, I’m sure you’ve been thinking about it for a while, therefore it is finale. From now on this is yours to deal with. “
    Boom, bye.
    He then became very confused and looked like he’s second guessing this whole thing. He literally go up from the bench we were sitting on and looked to the side and under his breath said “I have a feeling it’s not the last time we’d see eachother….” I literally said I don’t understand what’s the confusion is about, he made his decision so what’s the deal now and I made it clear we’re never ever making this into a casual-sex thing and that was it. He’ll be back. It was couple days ago but i have experience with this type of situation, and if you already read a book and you know the ending all you need to do is wait 😉
    Don’t be fools babes! Being ice cold is taking away every drop of your energy but it’s worth it.

  • @soulovelee_2433
    @soulovelee_2433 3 года назад +24

    This gold brown color looks on much better on you than the red imo, and it goes perfectly with your backdrop :)

  • @Cerys2.0
    @Cerys2.0 3 года назад +9

    Your ability to make these videos in one take, actually give the BEST advice and be effortlessly funny... Is a talent I could only wish for.

  • @jessicaa6845
    @jessicaa6845 3 года назад +41

    Also Kate Middleton played the ice card when William dumped her

    • @corvettedm1
      @corvettedm1 3 года назад +6

      A perfect example!

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +42

      YES! I forgot about that. Imagine the fortitude it takes to ice a PRINCE. I'd be like "hello here's my entire identity, SSN, nudes, mom's credit card, dad's kidney, what else would you like while you still have a title AND hair? It's yours."

    • @omphilemoerane2569
      @omphilemoerane2569 3 года назад +3

      @@shallonlester 😂😂😂 same!

    • @joaneustaquio4786
      @joaneustaquio4786 3 года назад +3

      dead 💀

  • @karlalopez4748
    @karlalopez4748 3 года назад +57

    Me waiting for Shallon’s bullet points of Olivia Rodrigo’s album in what not to do. 😅😂 Olivia and Taylor, how to scare a guy away!

    • @euricequeen842
      @euricequeen842 3 года назад

      Yes!!!!

    • @stephq4008
      @stephq4008 3 года назад +10

      @yassi jass that is because Taylor now is completely different to the Taylor Shallon criticised. Taylor now doesn't write about people she dates, and doesn't talk publicly about the guy anymore. She’s far less messy.

    • @karlalopez4748
      @karlalopez4748 3 года назад +2

      @yassi jass I know that, but if you see how different Taylor has worked with this relationship vs her old ones. This relationship is different.

    • @Jujulianap
      @Jujulianap 3 года назад +8

      At least she’s probably rich now. My breakups didn’t make me earn anything 🤣

  • @raulrromerom
    @raulrromerom 3 года назад +39

    “I wAnT a KiDnEy” 🎶 I’m dead lol

  • @cassandrasunday2141
    @cassandrasunday2141 3 года назад +13

    Abraham Lincoln said that, "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt"
    Another beautifully timed video.. need to brush up my strategy, thank lovely 😍

  • @i.112
    @i.112 3 года назад +25

    Dude... Hailey was not being mysterious at all. She liked multiple tweets and photos on IG that shaded Justins ex’s. And in public, she would often look upset.... LMAOOOOO

  • @Cin435-l7m
    @Cin435-l7m 3 года назад +9

    A few months in I wanted clarity on my 'situationship ' with a guy. One night at his place after a pulling teeth conversation to finally address the dynamic, I just left. He told me wild and quite convincing stories of all his past pain in relationships. All that to say he wanted to have everything from me with no title... still. So I just acknowledged that we were not on the same page and left that night. Calm and composed. It was now past midnight . He was shocked that I wouldn't JUST sleep over. The old me would have, just to ease the pain of the reality. But the new me was sickened at the idea that I let this man clown me any further with kind lies. Later, I DID get him back. And like Shallon says...you're not done till you're done. Well. Months later I got real done. Took a lot of lessons from the whole experience though! Great advice: go silent and get a whole life so you don't have to pretend on social!

  • @1111dodo
    @1111dodo 3 года назад +9

    I am going to add this to my playlist and listen to it every week and every time I feel desperate lol this video helped me a lot. Thanks Shallon

  • @inesantos_mkt
    @inesantos_mkt 3 года назад +14

    I play the chorus of Vanilla Ice "Ice Ice Baby" in my head when confronted with those kind of tough moments

  • @missminti
    @missminti 3 года назад +18

    Cheating on her and leaving his family is awful, but publicly humiliating her is ATROCIOUS.
    The only time I can condone taking back a cheater is if you are plotting your revenge by publicly leaving his ass for another man, a la J.Lo.

  • @Sibrena001
    @Sibrena001 3 года назад +21

    The movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” has the best line! If a guy (or gal) acts like they don’t give a shit they truly don’t give a shit. I wish i had realized this years ago because it would have saved me years of being an emotional punching bag. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @beautifulletdown817
    @beautifulletdown817 3 года назад +15

    I haven't dealt with this in a while but something similar just recently happened and I'm ashamed to say I wasn't silent 🤦🏼‍♀️ I recognize what I need to do now going forward but I'm super ashamed at my "crazy" that came out.

    • @mohittiwarii20
      @mohittiwarii20 3 года назад +5

      I have done that too just level up and build your brand and live your best life. Fuck em

  • @lydiaasplund9304
    @lydiaasplund9304 3 года назад +13

    Shallon, this is SO TRUE!!
    "Mystery is your greatest weapon. The truth is the most useless, ridiculous weapon that anyone could have in their arsenal for anything on planet Earth.”

  • @solopixiedust
    @solopixiedust 3 года назад +6

    “You are an Emotional Warlord,” BRAVO, Shallon❣️💫✨
    This is BY FAR, the BEST advice & vid for us!!! You are so right about having indifference!! Ice ice, baby ❄️❄️❄️

  • @Katie_Woo
    @Katie_Woo 3 года назад +10

    I froze my ex out when he dumped me after 9 years together and it’s almost 7 years later and I’m married to the love of my life and the ex had a meltdown when he found out I got married...he recently emailed me about having to sell the house we once shared and I got a long spiel about his financial woes and that was when I figured it out- he looks back on our relationship so often because I represented a time when he was at his most stable- emotionally, physically and financially.
    He didn’t appreciate at the time how much I did for him until I wasn’t there to do it all for him.
    No regrets on my side of this story but there’s a little bit of justice felt ;)

  • @Love2dance4427
    @Love2dance4427 3 года назад +8

    This reminds me of when you say people won’t remember what you say, just how you made them feel

  • @linamagdalena6490
    @linamagdalena6490 3 года назад +5

    You’re like the big sister I always wished I had. These people are so irrelevant to me and I don’t even know who they are but your advice in general is simply golden. Thank you Shallon!

  • @KikiVonC
    @KikiVonC 3 года назад +14

    I couldn’t even focus on the video because your brows look so good ✨

    • @angelica5813
      @angelica5813 3 года назад

      Hey I see a lot of people with your profile picture. Where is it from?

  • @stainedhands
    @stainedhands 3 года назад +2

    im so grateful I found the most amazing man, I watch every single one of your videos and have for the past 3 years but honestly i dont even really need them anymore (but i still watch them all bc i love you sm)

  • @sarahanne2512
    @sarahanne2512 3 года назад +11

    I was just cracking up at your IG stories tonight. Then your video pops up! Perfect end to my night ♥️

  • @SandraPaukstaityte
    @SandraPaukstaityte 3 года назад +18

    "Nothing destroys a crush like data" 🖤🖤🖤

  • @themagicofmoney
    @themagicofmoney 3 года назад +6

    You’re looking great, Shallon! That hair shade and style beautifully softens your features🤍

  • @addicted183
    @addicted183 3 года назад +8

    Yes Shallon, you articulated this so well.
    A few years ago a guy I was obsessed with, knew I was into him and played mind games on me. Just like Shallon said, a no reaction is the best reaction. Even though I was furious inside, I acted like an ice queen. He got even more desperate and even talked to other girls in front of me to make me jealous or blocked my view lol. I never approached him, not even once.🖕🏻Dignity above everything else!

  • @siobhandupont
    @siobhandupont 3 года назад +3

    Shallon I needed this video when I got dumped 2 days before valentines 😪 but now I know better. Biggest regret was replying to him a few weeks after he dumped me. Thank you for the advice 🙏🏽

  • @BeMoreAwareGodWatches
    @BeMoreAwareGodWatches 3 года назад +13

    non reaction really does work. You were on point tonight. Haley gets it.

  • @valeriaviteri6235
    @valeriaviteri6235 3 года назад +18

    Listen to shallon 🤣 I texted him “I miss you”because I thought putting my feelings out there would make him change his mind. Guess what, he left me on seen LMAO

    • @JaZmine147
      @JaZmine147 3 года назад +9

      Been there, done that too. Keep your head up. Them b*tches always come back when no one cares anymore.

    • @valeriaviteri6235
      @valeriaviteri6235 3 года назад

      update he unfollowed me from insta :( i blocked him from snap and blocked him on whatsapp i guess it is over

    • @summer8291
      @summer8291 3 года назад

      @@valeriaviteri6235 unblock him and just live your life.

    • @valeriaviteri6235
      @valeriaviteri6235 3 года назад

      @@summer8291 yeah that’s what I did, I just need time so I can heal:( and work on myself

    • @hurryupnow1
      @hurryupnow1 3 года назад

      Dont be sad. Let go completly. He prob has someone else

  • @opkas9986
    @opkas9986 3 года назад +11

    yo but that charles impression had me dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Gigi-kr7ki
      @Gigi-kr7ki 3 года назад +2

      Same! I had to replay that 15:17 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @worldlit1146
    @worldlit1146 3 года назад +5

    Hope you are ok Shallon. Your honesty is always valued here.

  • @paulmahoney6313
    @paulmahoney6313 3 года назад +14

    The whisper goose killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @theyasmoon1890
    @theyasmoon1890 3 года назад +8

    Omggg thankssss QUEEENNN I WASSSS DESPERATE FOR THIS VID I EVEN WATCHED SUBLIMINALS JUST SO U MAKE A VID ABOUT THISS!!!!!! THANKS QUEEEENN

  • @THRASHKK
    @THRASHKK 3 года назад +7

    Silence and mystery is ALWAYS the answer.

  • @tranquilxnotienequeserperfecto
    @tranquilxnotienequeserperfecto 3 года назад +28

    A few things:
    - love this color theme
    - love your hair, i think is THE one
    - love your frustration about other people’s grammar
    - love when you just stop taking because you need a moment to think
    - for real, i would love to go for a coffee with you and gossip lol
    - last thing: on my personal experience, it always took me the double of time of dating to get over someone. For example: I dated 1 years, its gonna take me 2 to forget him. Always the same.

  • @KuronekoDarkness
    @KuronekoDarkness 3 года назад +7

    as Sun Tzu said "all warfare is based on deception"

  • @Nat0Mile
    @Nat0Mile 3 года назад +18

    O M G did you see the stories on insta where they TAGGED EACH OTHER, montana even posted a before and after face of Larsa💀. And then Larsa responded creating an Only fans, its so messy🙃

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +11

      HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS I AM CACKLING!!

  • @t.l1357
    @t.l1357 3 года назад +7

    As an older watcher...Shallon is on point. Ice him out but don't just take someone back. You need to see changed behavior. Go back to square one with dude, keep your legs closed and just observe for some months. Nothing is worst than being in the same situation and played li kn e a fool twice by the SAME person! I don't do take backs but I've seen it work for someone who truly is sorry and want to man up.

  • @saraatppkdotpt8140
    @saraatppkdotpt8140 3 года назад +7

    Really like your analysis! Always learning psychology with you!

  • @alexcope8862
    @alexcope8862 3 года назад +4

    Your The Crown impressions are SPOT ON

  • @thesocialdistraction891
    @thesocialdistraction891 3 года назад +24

    So I live in a small town and people didn’t know my ex and I dated, I was new here and when we did I like you said “iced him”. Even when people asked me about him I would say that he is my relative on my mom’s side. Or I would say I never met him and drove him crazy. He asked people to talk to me I continue to ice him because to be honest with you I don’t feel anything for him, I don’t feel he deserves an ounce of attention from me. When I see him out he greets and I greet back and go on about my way. Icing works I just don’t want him back 🤣

  • @jamiegoesplaces
    @jamiegoesplaces 3 года назад +7

    This advice is legit. In my circle of friends, we call it “Initiate ghost protocol” 😎

  • @wallepop
    @wallepop Год назад +1

    "You can take my heart, you can brake it. But I am more than that! I am more than just my love for you!" SHALLON!
    Mind FUCKING BLOWN! I am writing this down and putting it on my fridge to look at everyday. Thank you for doing this videos! I am currently dealing with a breakup and literally whenever I miss him or feel like my life has been taken away from me I watch your videos and feel A LOT better. You're a legend!

  • @stargazerlily8451
    @stargazerlily8451 3 года назад +6

    My ex husband told me he wanted to separate for a while. And yes, we had been having issues, but i suggested counseling and he refused. Well I moved out (yes, I was young and dumb) with my single sister. Then I (hesitantly) started going out with one of her co workers she introduced me to. We hit it off. I forgot all about my ex, didn’t chase or call him Then he started calling me asking how I was and wanting to take me out etc. I refused because I fell out of love. Plain and simple. The new guy was so sweet, kind, and handsome I realized that I deserved better. My ex husband would beg, cry, chase, gifts, etc for months and months but I could never take him back.

  • @ritaanderson819
    @ritaanderson819 3 года назад +3

    Love this 💛 also I think going cold helps with my own healing, to not keep the door open. Self worth & self respect - not groveling. Love it!

  • @kay-leejansen670
    @kay-leejansen670 3 года назад +21

    I’ve never been this early in my life. You look beautiful by the way, I’m loving this hair colour on you!

    • @wild333ful
      @wild333ful 3 года назад +2

      I know! Shallow out does herself in so many ways these days✨🔥🧡

    • @shallonlester
      @shallonlester  3 года назад +2

      Thank you angel face!!!

  • @SkySilver777
    @SkySilver777 3 года назад +7

    I currently have an upper respiratory infection and when I tell you I almost DIED laughing at the "I wanna kidney" line- I fully mean it.

  • @unabulajic4681
    @unabulajic4681 3 года назад +2

    You know it's good when you just finish watching the video and then rewind to watch it again.

  • @ENIAWOOD
    @ENIAWOOD 3 года назад +5

    I honestly think they were already trying to get back together behind the scene and Montana was like "you better beg for me publicly, just like you humiliate me publicly". She seems like the kind of woman that would ask her man to post he love her on her facebook page. 🙄

  • @Monsiii123
    @Monsiii123 3 года назад +4

    This video is absolute GOLD!! Thank you Shallon