This almost plays like A D&D campaign where The players just sort of fucked off for the whole campaign until the DM got tired of their shit and railroaded them into a final conflict.
“So you have to kill this chick that is only wearing a thong and a golden mask” “Cool, we’ll explore what’s over those lands in the opposite side of our travel”
Also the player that the DM was building up as the hero fails a bunch of fucking rolls and winds up dead and dips out of the campaign so they scramble to do something for the other players
Reminds me of a joke I made up: Why should you never use a longbow in hand-to-hand combat? You can't trust it anymore because now it's a deranged weapon.
Nice to know that I wasn't the only one bothered by that. Everytime I saw it I was like "It's a recurve you morons! Someone have a chat with props department". I'm amazed the string didn't pop off all the time (though it probably did during production), I guess they got away with it because you can tell it has a super low draw weight. The arrows with no fletching bugs me too. Cheers!
Ok fun facts...Jorge Rivero has the symbol for the Eibon, the book from Fulci's The Beyond, on his forehead. Also, Elias was played by the killer of Fulci's New York Ripper. It's the Fulciverse!!!
I had cataracts in both eyes. Luckily, I got it fixed, surgically. This cataract simulation is spot on. That's what it looks like! Of course, it gets to the point the "fog" is much worse, but this movie got it right. I have seen a lot of "oh, he has cataracts" comments but this is the first really accurate one. Thanks for the video, as always!
@@GoGojiraGo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Not in a million bloody years they would ruin the concept and ruin what makes Herculoids fun
If you want an out of place 1980's synth soundtrack on a fantasy movie, there's Richard Donner's big budget bomb "Ladyhawke" with an Alan Parsons Project score that feels like it belongs in a 80's sports movie. 🎵Montage...Even Ladyhawke had a montage...🎵
@@cernstormrunner7263 I did think of Tangerine Dream and The Keep, but The Keep is WW2. It's off, but perhaps not as quite far off. And maybe I felt like giving that a pass because Mann and TD worked together on Thief. That's just me being inconsistent. As for Legend, it's an oddball because the Jerry Goldsmith score is regarded as the "official" one. It's been a long time since I saw the it with the Tangerine Dream score, but I think because it's Ridley Scott and the film is a dreamlike fantasy, unlike the mud covered middle ages Ladyhawke, I don't know that any synth in Legend is nearly so jarring. I suspect there's something even more odd than Ladyhawke, though.
@@YDV669 It's not really a knock on the movie. And it's not that the soundtrack is bad in the abstract. It's just that it feels out of place. The idea of using synth for movies that weren't modern or sci-fi didn't last, and it leaves some of these movies that tried to lean further into what Vangelis did with Chariots of Fire seeming like oddities.
You're right about one thing about this movie, the soundtrack does sound like it came from a NES game. But then again, the ost was composed by Claudio Simonetti, most of his music sounds like it came from an RPG game from the mid to late 80s.
When Mace meets a near watery demise I thought mermaids... Italian directors' excuses for getting a hot girls naked for a role in the movie. And as to the question of how much drugs was done, it is more of how many did they get through before they realized they made a movie. BTW That random arrow shot to the breaded traveler just kills me. Should had the outro been that. *Fhoomp.* AHHH!!
There has to be a family friendly edit of this movie because I remember seeing it on tv. I don't remember half of the scenes here or the titties. But I do remember that golden mask and the light up bow. The plot was totally different and the ending was when after the main villainess was dead the sun rose anyways and the people she was terrorizing watched the hero (Mace?) walk off into the sunrise.
Brandon, thank you for carrying on this style of review. It is always so entertaining, and gives me that hit of nostalgia. I truly am thankful that you are around, and hope you will be for so much longer.
Was the early scene where the main guy was faceless meant to be foreshadowing to Mace taking his place. It would weirdly be the most coherent thing in this movie.
@@SomeOrangeCat The problem I have with Asylum is they do everything on the cheap, so it just looks and feels cheap. This at least looks like "something", even if it was cheap :D
Idk which review is funnier, this one or the Cinema Snob's review of Conquest! Also, please review Zombie next, to continue on with your Lucio Fulci reviews!
i loved me some throne of fire as a kid. actually i loved a lot of these as a kid. pheonix warrior, deathstalker, yor, gor, all these style movies were on my 8-14yr old watchlist.
10:30 Zora is also from the Zelda games, those fish people. Most popular Zora character in the Zelda games is Princess Ruto and considering how she dresses, the Zora princess will fit well within this Italian Fantasy movie.
Loved how you kept working in the scene where they kill the innocent dude with an arrow (7:35). His expression when hit is hilarious and I definitely needed the extra viewings to fully appreciate it.
@@LordRezo yep sticking with my comment even the person that did this video agrees he has incoherent plots. And those movies that you named that's your opinion I always get a second one🤔
I was 7 when I saw this movie uncut from my gramp's Betamax (now who remembers that one?). If my memory serves me right, the naked ladies and the sex scenes didn't gave me much interest but the magical bow and energy arrows. I love the magical glaive from Krull, the 3-bladed sword from the Sword and the Sorcerer and also this magic bow.
Soooo... Ilyas is your ordinary Dark Souls protagonist, what with not knowing where you're going, or having enemies everywhere. Oh and dying, i forgot that.
Jorge Rivero was big in mexico in the 60s and 70s, Even landing a major vehicle in Rio Lobo with John Wayne in 1975. He never quite made it internationally, but it is neat to see him in this.
Mace must've known the safe word, otherwise Echo and friends would've had their way with him six times over. With all that dolphins do, you know that bondage has got to be in there somewhere.
For your next Canuxploitation-a-Thon, you might want to review Black Roses, a 1988 Troma flick where demons form a power metal band and their music is so mesmerizing that anyone who listens to it resorts to violence. It's like a satire of those Christian anti-rock propaganda films like Rock: It's Your Decision and Hell's Bells: The Dangers of Rock 'N' Roll. Plus, it's filmed in Canada though the movie wants you to think it takes place in the US XD!
Glad that your sponsors and Patreon supporters keep good content like this going. But why does RUclips attack their good content creators with so much demonitization? In 2012, RUclips began demonetizing videos based on new advertising-friendly guidelines. This was not done by people, but by an algorithm that looked at the metadata of videos and other factors to decide whether it was likely to be something an advertiser wouldn’t want to be associated with.
I find it even more ironic that so many content creators that get screwed by youtube have usually no problems fining a sponsor on their own. So the content clearly doesn't actually matter to the sponsors. But RUclips is a broken system and i doubt i can be fixed at this point.
@@shinrailp1416 Yes, great point! RUclips could easily fix this by not having strict puritanical pearl-clutching standards based on what the most reactionary conservative advertisers may feel offended or uncomfortable with. Plenty of people want to advertise on RUclips.
@@sejembalm The biggest Problem is that RUclips has gotten way too big and pretty much everything is automatied with different algorithms at this point. To change how the current system works the would have to completely trash the current Algorithms and get new ones and YT is not going to invest any more money than neccessary into the platform.
@@shinrailp1416 Well, their lame algorithms are angering their content creators and viewers, so they should address it. And they've got the money to invest in better software. And they could hire a lot of moderators to inspect complaints and appeals. All they have to worry about is getting rid of the wildly rabble-rousing, outrageously violent and obviously criminal stuff. Ease back on the strict demonetization stuff to keep creators and viewers happy or else they may leave RUclips.
I wonder what other movie has what is supposed to be our main character getting killed half way through the movie and a side character just takes over the plot.
Surprisingly, I only have one legitimate question about this movie: Why does the villain have an adorable floofball as a guard dog that can turn into the robot from the first Thor movie?
This movie holds a weird special place for me. I was 9 years old when I first saw this. One Summer, my Father gathered up all us kids for an afternoon movie. I asked what we were seeing. He pointed to Conquest's poster. I couldn't believe it. We're were a few minutes late, so we missed the chic getting split. We watched in awe....for.....10 minutes. The faceless guy jumped onto the screen...shot his magic arrow and her very naked boobs exploded into blood. My Father was like, "we're leaving!" That....was it. For about 25 years until Blue Underground released a DvD and I finally saw the rest of the film. I have to say, 9 yr old me remembered her boobs being much larger.
@Text Me On Telegram @brandonTenold This guy is a scammer who's impersonating me. Do me a favor & report their channel. I don't select people 'as a great winner' in my comments.
Soooo, I was watching the latest movie timelines video about Alien knockoffs, and one of them was Deadly Spawn 2. Then I read the comments, and the guy that did the title card for your Deadly Spawn video was there. Small world and all that
I have been waiting for ages for you to get to this film. I simply cannot get over the fact that the hero's weapon is just a ROCK ON A STRING, and he just beans the fuck out of his enemies with it
God the Nostalgia. I remember watching this as a Kid in the late 90s. In 1983 when this was released, I would have been 3. I remember getting a lend of the Tape from my "Aunt" who lived up the road. It was part of her small collection that I found under the collection of her husband's Porno Tapes. Those stars didn't hide much.
The dolphins saving the hero are honestly the most "normal" element in the whole thing, as dolphins were said to save humans from drowning since Antiquity.
So that scene at about the 5 minute mark where the guy blows drugs up the sorceress's nose using bamboo is accurate. I've seen that before when I was taking anthropology classes back in college. It's how a lot of tribal shamans deliver hallucinogens during rituals. It was featured in different movies we watched about different tribes.
Mace wasn't the first hero saved by a dolphin. A noble dolphin saved Batman and Robin by throwing itself in front of a torpedo in 'Batman 1966', with Adam West.
Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about that. Then again, I last saw that movie a LONG time ago, so the most vivid memory of it I have is when the penguin rehydrates his goons and they end up turning to piles of dust when tapped. Come to think of it, that was a weird movie too.
As I tell my husband 20th century Italian flicks are perfect representation of what dreams feel like. There's almost no plot but great visuals lots of sex and nothing is consistent. Sometimes I'll lucid dream and fulci movies have the exact same vibe. He nails that genre perfectly
Holy SHIT, I remember this movie! My parents rented it once, and we got ten minutes in before we gave up on it! I couldn't remember the title, but that old cave guy getting his skull chopped triggered a (somewhat traumatic) memory!
😂 this type of movie could only have been made in Italy. Imagine American studios trying to make this movie back then. No way! They definitely couldn't do it now unless it was some indie A24 flick.
I watched Fulci's "Challenge to White Fang" this afternoon, where White Fang is a German Sheperd. Because nobody can distinguish a wolf from a sheperd dog.
This movie! I remember seeing it on El Rey (when it was still around), and I knew this was tailor made for reviewers like you. Funny thing, you watch the trailer for this movie, it covers EVERYTHING that happens in about two minutes.
I adore your on point snarky observations. These movies bring back my wasted summers as a pasty child growing up in Texas. I can quote commercials from back in the day. Life ain’t easy when you can get a moon burn on a night of a full moon. But hell, it’s how I got to see The Thing when it premiered on cable 5 times in one long Saturday night. No regrets 😊 You sir are a credit to your profession! Via con, huevos because everything goes with eggs!
I think it's hilarious to imagine that a camera guy mistakenly rubbed grease (or lube probably) on the lens, and he just bulshitted to Fulci that this would give a much more "cinematic" and "dreamy" look to the film. But hey... style is style, and this movie certainly oozes it. Thanks for the review, Brandon!
I was so very happy to hear a Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans reference out of nowhere...Of all the over the top Nic Cage roles out there it's by far my favorite.
I definetely have to rewatch this one asap. Thanks for the reminder and this great review. :) There's so much more to Fulci than his classic zombie flicks. ;-)
15:51 He's gonna drown then become jesus right? The cross thing is pretty blatent. Edit: I was expecting him to survive, but not because a dolphin rescued him.
I didn't have to guess. I had forgotten this existed, but once I saw the thumbnail I remembered seeing this as a kid. Sometimes I wish my memory had select extra holes in it.
From director Lucio Fulci comes an epic of sword & sorcery...or in this case 'smoke & nudity'
This was my favorite movie of the Hazerunner franchise.
It was released in some areas as the unofficial sequel "Aguirre 2: The Wrath of Gauze."
It has boobs and makes #BrandonTenold review it? By that worthy enough! 🤣
To bad it's not "smoke'n nudity"!
Uh "See if you can guess what happens next?" The barbarian rises from the dead three days later?
I think it came on HBO and I never got a chance to see it because it came on too late. I was about 8 or 9 years old. I wanted to see it....then. 😂😂😂😂
This almost plays like A D&D campaign where The players just sort of fucked off for the whole campaign until the DM got tired of their shit and railroaded them into a final conflict.
Or where the dm is stoned.
I can imagine the descriptions.
That would have made a great Counter Monkey episode.
“So you have to kill this chick that is only wearing a thong and a golden mask”
“Cool, we’ll explore what’s over those lands in the opposite side of our travel”
It even has the murder hobo killing random npcs!
Also the player that the DM was building up as the hero fails a bunch of fucking rolls and winds up dead and dips out of the campaign so they scramble to do something for the other players
"My name is Mace."
"What weapon do you use?"
"Nunchaku."
"Well, I use a magical bow, so my name is Glaive."
"And as we all know, to "glaive " is to bluff...He was probably cheating at cards...."
@@fletchkeilman2205 Fuck, that ended up being funnier than I thought it would be. Nicely added, Fletch.
@@paulcoy9060 thank you, good sir. I do try. To be honest, I'm just happy someone got the joke in the first place, hahaha.
Reminds me of a joke I made up:
Why should you never use a longbow in hand-to-hand combat?
You can't trust it anymore because now it's a deranged weapon.
"... and nobody cranked them out quite like the Italians." There are so many ways you could start that sentence and still have it be completely true.
Bollywood has a lot of Tarzan themed musicals.
The bow being strung backwards is just a chefs kiss of infuriating.
Nice to know that I wasn't the only one bothered by that. Everytime I saw it I was like "It's a recurve you morons! Someone have a chat with props department". I'm amazed the string didn't pop off all the time (though it probably did during production), I guess they got away with it because you can tell it has a super low draw weight. The arrows with no fletching bugs me too. Cheers!
Ok fun facts...Jorge Rivero has the symbol for the Eibon, the book from Fulci's The Beyond, on his forehead. Also, Elias was played by the killer of Fulci's New York Ripper. It's the Fulciverse!!!
The FCU
And he was Yuri on Werewolf.
I had cataracts in both eyes. Luckily, I got it fixed, surgically. This cataract simulation is spot on. That's what it looks like! Of course, it gets to the point the "fog" is much worse, but this movie got it right. I have seen a lot of "oh, he has cataracts" comments but this is the first really accurate one.
Thanks for the video, as always!
If there's one thing I strive for on this channel, it's accurate cataract representation.
Please review Ice Pirates like you promised many years ago, Brandon.
I agree, whats the holdup Brandon.
Yeah I told him about a month ago that he should review a Jurassic World movie
@@paulgillespie6192 I think that's too mainstream for a channel dedicated to cult movies.
Still looking forward to that review!
Ice pirates is amazing flick and halariois
The eibon symbol on his forehead makes this a prequel to The Beyond.
When I see movies like this I sometimes wonder are they ever going to reboot Thundarr the Barbarian.
As much as I would LOVE that... I'm not sure I would trust it with the state of media and remakes these days....
We can dream...
Im morethan happy with them not. Its a great series on its lonesome and they'd probably just remove all the stuff that makes it unique.
I would welcome that, or a Herculoids revival.
@@GoGojiraGo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Not in a million bloody years they would ruin the concept and ruin what makes Herculoids fun
Lucio Fulci was definitely great at style over substance. And what a style it was.
He definitely always would go more for visuals than story, that's for sure. I loved The Beyond. Its portrayal of Hell was really interesting.
If you want an out of place 1980's synth soundtrack on a fantasy movie, there's Richard Donner's big budget bomb "Ladyhawke" with an Alan Parsons Project score that feels like it belongs in a 80's sports movie.
🎵Montage...Even Ladyhawke had a montage...🎵
How about Tangerine Dreams score for THE KEEP?
@@cernstormrunner7263 I was thinking about their score on Legend...... It was actually decent though
@@cernstormrunner7263 I did think of Tangerine Dream and The Keep, but The Keep is WW2. It's off, but perhaps not as quite far off. And maybe I felt like giving that a pass because Mann and TD worked together on Thief. That's just me being inconsistent.
As for Legend, it's an oddball because the Jerry Goldsmith score is regarded as the "official" one. It's been a long time since I saw the it with the Tangerine Dream score, but I think because it's Ridley Scott and the film is a dreamlike fantasy, unlike the mud covered middle ages Ladyhawke, I don't know that any synth in Legend is nearly so jarring.
I suspect there's something even more odd than Ladyhawke, though.
I actually liked Ladyhawke. Thanks for the reminder of a childhood gone by.
@@YDV669 It's not really a knock on the movie. And it's not that the soundtrack is bad in the abstract. It's just that it feels out of place. The idea of using synth for movies that weren't modern or sci-fi didn't last, and it leaves some of these movies that tried to lean further into what Vangelis did with Chariots of Fire seeming like oddities.
Mace rescued by a dolphin?
I was betting on rescue by sexy mermaid. 🧜♀️
Ocron already used up the nudity quota for the movie.
You're right about one thing about this movie, the soundtrack does sound like it came from a NES game.
But then again, the ost was composed by Claudio Simonetti, most of his music sounds like it came from an RPG game from the mid to late 80s.
Found a new composer to check out
If only the Italian film industry had made a Zelda adaptation back in the 80's
Not gonna lie that whole thong mask combo kinda works for me... LOL
No shame, son.
Embrace the kink...
@@rayzorduality2396 Embrace it? The Missus caught trying to fit her with a saucepan while she slept...
Agree, new fetish unlocked
Just don't remove the mask.
When Mace meets a near watery demise I thought mermaids... Italian directors' excuses for getting a hot girls naked for a role in the movie. And as to the question of how much drugs was done, it is more of how many did they get through before they realized they made a movie. BTW That random arrow shot to the breaded traveler just kills me. Should had the outro been that. *Fhoomp.* AHHH!!
Dolphins ARE mermaids
"Should have known that as soon as you saw Fulci's name in the credits."
Muggle, please! I knew that before I even started the video!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
When Mace fought the bats, I was getting some serious Castlevania vibes, especially since he kind of looks like Simon Belmont.
The soundtrack probably helped too
My guess for 15:50 A bunch of mermaids / fish people come out of nowhere to save him.
Ocron already maxed out the topless-quotient for the movie
There has to be a family friendly edit of this movie because I remember seeing it on tv. I don't remember half of the scenes here or the titties. But I do remember that golden mask and the light up bow. The plot was totally different and the ending was when after the main villainess was dead the sun rose anyways and the people she was terrorizing watched the hero (Mace?) walk off into the sunrise.
Brandon, thank you for carrying on this style of review. It is always so entertaining, and gives me that hit of nostalgia. I truly am thankful that you are around, and hope you will be for so much longer.
Was the early scene where the main guy was faceless meant to be foreshadowing to Mace taking his place. It would weirdly be the most coherent thing in this movie.
Either that or it was Fulci going "yeah, we know the hero's pretty bland/generic"
I can confirm, nearly everything Brandon says is true. This movie is just a wild trip.
And I loved every minute of it.
I'm like that with certain Asylum films. Hot garbage, but I'm having oh so much fun watching.
@@SomeOrangeCat The problem I have with Asylum is they do everything on the cheap, so it just looks and feels cheap. This at least looks like "something", even if it was cheap :D
Idk which review is funnier, this one or the Cinema Snob's review of Conquest! Also, please review Zombie next, to continue on with your Lucio Fulci reviews!
Personally I pick my video, but then again I might be a little biased
i loved me some throne of fire as a kid. actually i loved a lot of these as a kid. pheonix warrior, deathstalker, yor, gor, all these style movies were on my 8-14yr old watchlist.
Did they make movies of the Gor books?
@@Johninadelaide2022 at least 2 that i remember watching. Which means more of that series was made then the princess of mars series.
@@marcelmoreau2733 That fact is so perverse.
this movie is a prime example why i love Lucio Fulci the man was a madman but, he had his own unique style
10:30 Zora is also from the Zelda games, those fish people.
Most popular Zora character in the Zelda games is Princess Ruto and considering how she dresses, the Zora princess will fit well within this Italian Fantasy movie.
Loved how you kept working in the scene where they kill the innocent dude with an arrow (7:35). His expression when hit is hilarious and I definitely needed the extra viewings to fully appreciate it.
That's usually me in Skyrim.
1:20 I am stealing that bow for my D&D campaign!! It's better than the Glaive from "Krull"!
Okay sure, the multistage is cool and all, but the Krull glaive looks more badass.
The first movie shot exclusively with a lens made of Vaseline
Well that was a trip. My guess for 15:50 was sharks come and try to eat him but in the process chew through his bonds.
Oh Fulci, good when it comes down to the gore but having a coherent plot. Now that's something he was never good at.
Probably the drugs
Lizard in a Woman's Skin, Beatrice Cenci, Don't Torture a Duckling, 4 of the Apocalypse, Contraband, The Psychic. Those all have coherent plots.
@@LordRezo but the Beyond this movie and House by the Cemetery don't and those are some of his more famous movies so I stick by my comment😉
@@grapeshot So even though I gave clear examples, you're still sticking with a clear falsehood. Ok.
@@LordRezo yep sticking with my comment even the person that did this video agrees he has incoherent plots. And those movies that you named that's your opinion I always get a second one🤔
I'm glad you finally got around to this batshit horror adventure film from everyone's favorite violator of prop eyeballs, Lucio Fulci.
PReety sure theres a line on the back of the VHS that says "Drinking of bong water required for full viewing enjoyment."
A lot of shrooms were consumed during the development, production and editing of this film. It probably seemed like pure genius at the time.
I was 7 when I saw this movie uncut from my gramp's Betamax (now who remembers that one?). If my memory serves me right, the naked ladies and the sex scenes didn't gave me much interest but the magical bow and energy arrows. I love the magical glaive from Krull, the 3-bladed sword from the Sword and the Sorcerer and also this magic bow.
Soooo... Ilyas is your ordinary Dark Souls protagonist, what with not knowing where you're going, or having enemies everywhere.
Oh and dying, i forgot that.
Jorge Rivero will forever be known to me for his role in Werewolf.
BAM! A new hairstyle!
Dont you mean Whurwulf? I was gonna say he looked like the villain from that film! Oh MST3k.
That was him!??!?! Whoa!
But remember, don't call him a psychopath, he'll kill your whole family if you call him that.
@@chibikim77lol. Nice. That is one of my favorite episodes. The jokes are bangers for almost the whole film. I love them ragging on Joe Estevez.
Jorge Rivero was big in mexico in the 60s and 70s, Even landing a major vehicle in Rio Lobo with John Wayne in 1975. He never quite made it internationally, but it is neat to see him in this.
i belong to a Discord group that discusses movies, and this was the 1st film we showed on our movie night stream.
Mace must've known the safe word, otherwise Echo and friends would've had their way with him six times over. With all that dolphins do, you know that bondage has got to be in there somewhere.
Thumbed up at the Destro reference.
Oh Fulci, always making me go wtf.
"All they ever show is a bush".
"Hell yeah"
"Not like that, you pervs".
Wrong channel. But a great channel nonetheless.
@@Rando1975 Fits in with a Fulci movie review though.
Horror geek...
7:37 Dammit! Killed him before he could announce “It’s Monty Python’s Flying Circus”
Or tell us we had a message. Either one.
For your next Canuxploitation-a-Thon, you might want to review Black Roses, a 1988 Troma flick where demons form a power metal band and their music is so mesmerizing that anyone who listens to it resorts to violence. It's like a satire of those Christian anti-rock propaganda films like Rock: It's Your Decision and Hell's Bells: The Dangers of Rock 'N' Roll. Plus, it's filmed in Canada though the movie wants you to think it takes place in the US XD!
Glad that your sponsors and Patreon supporters keep good content like this going.
But why does RUclips attack their good content creators with so much demonitization? In 2012, RUclips began demonetizing videos based on new advertising-friendly guidelines. This was not done by people, but by an algorithm that looked at the metadata of videos and other factors to decide whether it was likely to be something an advertiser wouldn’t want to be associated with.
I find it even more ironic that so many content creators that get screwed by youtube have usually no problems fining a sponsor on their own. So the content clearly doesn't actually matter to the sponsors. But RUclips is a broken system and i doubt i can be fixed at this point.
fascism. Conservative christians working. The source of all evil.
@@shinrailp1416 Yes, great point! RUclips could easily fix this by not having strict puritanical pearl-clutching standards based on what the most reactionary conservative advertisers may feel offended or uncomfortable with. Plenty of people want to advertise on RUclips.
@@sejembalm The biggest Problem is that RUclips has gotten way too big and pretty much everything is automatied with different algorithms at this point. To change how the current system works the would have to completely trash the current Algorithms and get new ones and YT is not going to invest any more money than neccessary into the platform.
@@shinrailp1416 Well, their lame algorithms are angering their content creators and viewers, so they should address it. And they've got the money to invest in better software. And they could hire a lot of moderators to inspect complaints and appeals. All they have to worry about is getting rid of the wildly rabble-rousing, outrageously violent and obviously criminal stuff. Ease back on the strict demonetization stuff to keep creators and viewers happy or else they may leave RUclips.
Well this is a new definition of *high* fantasy
I wonder what other movie has what is supposed to be our main character getting killed half way through the movie and a side character just takes over the plot.
The magic of that bow is that it's a recurve bow that's been strung backwards and it hasn't broken when drawn.
I can just imagine a day on set.
"More fog, i can still see stuff"
Production was almost shut down when they ran out of Vaseline to rub on the lens & a production assistant had to run & get more.
Surprisingly, I only have one legitimate question about this movie: Why does the villain have an adorable floofball as a guard dog that can turn into the robot from the first Thor movie?
The Destroyer is not a robot. It is an enchanted suit of armor.
This movie holds a weird special place for me. I was 9 years old when I first saw this. One Summer, my Father gathered up all us kids for an afternoon movie. I asked what we were seeing. He pointed to Conquest's poster. I couldn't believe it. We're were a few minutes late, so we missed the chic getting split. We watched in awe....for.....10 minutes. The faceless guy jumped onto the screen...shot his magic arrow and her very naked boobs exploded into blood. My Father was like, "we're leaving!" That....was it. For about 25 years until Blue Underground released a DvD and I finally saw the rest of the film.
I have to say, 9 yr old me remembered her boobs being much larger.
@Text Me On Telegram @brandonTenold This guy is a scammer who's impersonating me. Do me a favor & report their channel. I don't select people 'as a great winner' in my comments.
Sounds like your dad was like "A poster showing a naked woman covered by a snake? Sounds like a delightful, family-friendly romp!"
@@TheBrandonTenold I've already done it. This scammer will learn not to impersonate you.
I was close with the dolphin scene, I guessed it would be a mermaid rescue
Watching the part about the music in the movie…I just realized…GOBLIN is NILBOG spelled backwards!!!!
7:34 You fools! You murdered the "It's" guy from Monty Python's Flying Circus!!!
Yes, but on the plus side, he gets to say "message for you, sir"
You’ve shown me so many good movies I’ve never heard of or would hear of if not for this channel thanks keep up good work and great content
Cheers mate from Australia. Those crazy Italians
Soooo, I was watching the latest movie timelines video about Alien knockoffs, and one of them was Deadly Spawn 2. Then I read the comments, and the guy that did the title card for your Deadly Spawn video was there. Small world and all that
I have been waiting for ages for you to get to this film. I simply cannot get over the fact that the hero's weapon is just a ROCK ON A STRING, and he just beans the fuck out of his enemies with it
No wonder Mace was Jealous of Ilias' bow
God the Nostalgia. I remember watching this as a Kid in the late 90s. In 1983 when this was released, I would have been 3.
I remember getting a lend of the Tape from my "Aunt" who lived up the road. It was part of her small collection that I found under the collection of her husband's Porno Tapes.
Those stars didn't hide much.
Definitely winning the random AF award, but it's kinda intresting in its own, very very own, way.. 👍🏻🖤🏴☠️
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own wheel of parmesan."
Man this was an adventure when it comes to weird movies done on this channel. Gonna have to look this up for purchase.
The dolphins saving the hero are honestly the most "normal" element in the whole thing, as dolphins were said to save humans from drowning since Antiquity.
"RUclips isn't going to like this", well yeah, but RUclips has the full movie on the site.
Yet it's channels like this that gets copyright strikes. Way to go RUclips. You system is working perfectly. Sarcasm heavily implied.
@@Rando1975 be nice if there was decent competition for the 'Tube....
Probably one of my favorites I’ve seen you do. I’ve never seen this film before but you’ve definitely sold me on how bizarre it is that I wanna see it
So that scene at about the 5 minute mark where the guy blows drugs up the sorceress's nose using bamboo is accurate. I've seen that before when I was taking anthropology classes back in college. It's how a lot of tribal shamans deliver hallucinogens during rituals. It was featured in different movies we watched about different tribes.
Mace wasn't the first hero saved by a dolphin. A noble dolphin saved Batman and Robin by throwing itself in front of a torpedo in 'Batman 1966', with Adam West.
Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about that.
Then again, I last saw that movie a LONG time ago, so the most vivid memory of it I have is when the penguin rehydrates his goons and they end up turning to piles of dust when tapped.
Come to think of it, that was a weird movie too.
Seriously the dolphins saving Mace is the LEAST weird part of this :=)
Anyone else think this seems like a live-action "Fire and Ice?"
Yeah, it does have the same sort of feel to it.
Ah, also it's funny because Destro IS in Flash Gordon 1980, as is Baroness. They are two of Ming's henchmen. GI Joe riffed them whole cloth.
As I tell my husband 20th century Italian flicks are perfect representation of what dreams feel like. There's almost no plot but great visuals lots of sex and nothing is consistent. Sometimes I'll lucid dream and fulci movies have the exact same vibe. He nails that genre perfectly
Holy SHIT, I remember this movie! My parents rented it once, and we got ten minutes in before we gave up on it! I couldn't remember the title, but that old cave guy getting his skull chopped triggered a (somewhat traumatic) memory!
Let me guess: you bailed right after the woman got pulled in half?
@@TheBrandonTenold yup! My parents watched the rest after we went to bed, and said, "That movie just got weirder and weirder!"
MY guess for 15:50 is that we're about to get Christian out of nowhere and Mace is gonna resurrect a la Jesus and hover back up.
Eh, swung for the fences and misses. In my defense, the two other commenters at the time did marine-based guesses so I wanted to be different
That would've only been slightly more crazy
I was thinking mermaid...close enough
😂 this type of movie could only have been made in Italy. Imagine American studios trying to make this movie back then. No way! They definitely couldn't do it now unless it was some indie A24 flick.
I watched Fulci's "Challenge to White Fang" this afternoon, where White Fang is a German Sheperd. Because nobody can distinguish a wolf from a sheperd dog.
I watched this movie when I was younger, and I always wonder what was the point of killing the guy with the rabbit.
This movie! I remember seeing it on El Rey (when it was still around), and I knew this was tailor made for reviewers like you. Funny thing, you watch the trailer for this movie, it covers EVERYTHING that happens in about two minutes.
6:25 I’m surprised you didn’t make a GopherChucks reference here
I adore your on point snarky observations. These movies bring back my wasted summers as a pasty child growing up in Texas. I can quote commercials from back in the day. Life ain’t easy when you can get a moon burn on a night of a full moon. But hell, it’s how I got to see The Thing when it premiered on cable 5 times in one long Saturday night.
No regrets 😊 You sir are a credit to your profession! Via con, huevos because everything goes with eggs!
DOLPHINS SAVE MAH MAN, DUH! This flick is 🔥🔥🔥🔥! Don’t let anyone tell you any differently!
I saw a lot of ridiculous garbage on 42nd St. when I lived in NYC, but this was the only one that sent me running to the manager to demand a refund.
"Okrin's army of evil Chewbacca warriors are harassing the local tribes of cavemen."
Jesus, the sentences these movies make you say! x)
*Ocron
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 *Orcron
I think it's hilarious to imagine that a camera guy mistakenly rubbed grease (or lube probably) on the lens, and he just bulshitted to Fulci that this would give a much more "cinematic" and "dreamy" look to the film. But hey... style is style, and this movie certainly oozes it. Thanks for the review, Brandon!
I was so very happy to hear a Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans reference out of nowhere...Of all the over the top Nic Cage roles out there it's by far my favorite.
Bring back that type of wolf face prosthetic for future movies
You missed the Zora Zelda joke. That would have made it perfect. 🤣🤣🤣
That's not a fog machine. It's the film crew smoking out of frame.
And the scriptwriter getting "inspiration".
Isn't the Illius where the gal bladder connects to the duodenum?
I definetely have to rewatch this one asap. Thanks for the reminder and this great review. :) There's so much more to Fulci than his classic zombie flicks. ;-)
That synth riff just screams "press start button!"
At least the movie let's you switch characters partway through.
15:40
Multiple Guesses
MC jumps in to save mace by cutting the binds
Shoots energy Arrows to cut Mace's Binds
Random Sea Monster saves Mace maybe?
I was close, thought Mace would saved by mermaids.
the last twist at the end was well cool haha
Saved by topless mermaids?
*watches*
Well I was so wrong.
15:51 He's gonna drown then become jesus right? The cross thing is pretty blatent.
Edit: I was expecting him to survive, but not because a dolphin rescued him.
“It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this bow and arrow.”
I didn't have to guess. I had forgotten this existed, but once I saw the thumbnail I remembered seeing this as a kid. Sometimes I wish my memory had select extra holes in it.