Annoying Traits of an ENFP, From an INTJ

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  • Опубликовано: 11 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 90

  • @nononono8777
    @nononono8777 3 года назад +54

    Coming from an enfp, I'm pretty happy to be by myself lol. We can be pretty introverted due to our Fi. But yes, it's the voice in our head, overthinking and exhausting us and if we socialize, we get to come out of our head and share the thoughts and hear new ideas. So it's really the need to share or generate new ideas that drives our extroversion, rather than needing to be around people.
    Extroverted intuition is like a playground almost, many, many rides going on to give off that cheerful vibe and feels somewhat sad or eerie if you don't see any activity. Introverted intuition would be almost like a rubic cube by contrast. Discipline, algorithms, focusing on problem solving and doesn't require more than one person.

    • @pclss
      @pclss 3 года назад +3

      This! I was totally needing this, girl.

    • @ericadobeck3172
      @ericadobeck3172  3 года назад +4

      I liked your analogy in the second paragraph - well said! Thanks for the clarification. The best thing we can do is accept ourselves - I am glad you have reached that point :)

    • @poppyto7273
      @poppyto7273 3 года назад +5

      I'm grateful to you for this comment. I hear that ENFP is the most introverted type of extroverts and we get motivation from ideas that come from environments and people. You clarified it and now I know why pandemic hits hard to me.
      -ENFP

    • @kiekert7499
      @kiekert7499 Год назад

      Thats right on the spot!!! The pandemic hit me hard too! Also because my partner is an ISTJ in healthcare categorised as “vulnerable” (I did not agree with the whole f#**ing C thing at all) I was in almost isolation for more than 2 years. I really thought I went crazy, got a burnout and still are recovering. But as a true ENFP I can also see the benefit of it. It catelized me in consiousness.
      I laught my pants of listening to this video. Always good to know how I am percieved by my partner and daughter (they’re both ISTJ-A while I’m the exact opposite…where did it go wrong 🤣🤣 sorry kidding). I’m not always aware of my behavior and how others can interpret it.
      I’ll send this video to my partner and daughter. So they can have a laugh too.

  • @olivererz6197
    @olivererz6197 3 года назад +32

    I wouldn't say that ENFP's can't be alone, or extroverted types, it's just that we are not truly happy without a certain level of social interaction. I do need time alone as an ENFP, but with that some social interaction. I guess the solution is extroverts need to spread their time around wisely with introverted types, so they are not too drained, or otherwise have a good sense of when the introvert is getting to the point of energy depletion.

  • @rstsahin1
    @rstsahin1 3 года назад +31

    ''I feel like for ENFP, they really just run with their feelings.''
    it couldn't be better explained.

  • @firespawnie537
    @firespawnie537 3 года назад +29

    ENFP guy here: What you described are ENFPs without having developped their 3rd function Te, in other words younger ENFPs or more immature ones(if not young). You seem young yourself which can explain why you focused on these. Almost at the end of the video you mentioned that you can't be in extroverts' shoes and can't understand how they operate, the reason for that is also the same for you, you seem you don't have developped your Fi yet which is the 3rd function of INTJs that helps you understand people more. Try to develop it with many experiences in life and you'll see that you will understand life more.Don't just go for the cold hard facts because that is definitely not how you will mature as a person.No personality is perfect, all of them have their pros and cons.I can tell you many flaws about immature INTJs if you're interested but those can be improved easily as well as the ones you mentioned about ENFPs.The most challenging thing for ENFPs to develop is order in their life, that's the most annoying trait about us and that's the hardest one to fix.Also for the INTJs the hardest part is to focus on what it's in front of them, the simplest thing. Even if you plan sth perfectly when it is executed there always be flaws and your challenge is to spot them and maybe use a more obvious method/idea etc.

  • @itsmeraz3008
    @itsmeraz3008 3 года назад +14

    Just to echo some other enfps, that if they are indeed enfps, they sound immature. And I am unsure if at least some of who you have based your experience on are indeed enfps. Young enfps can certainly be silly, but I find many of them are leaning more towards introversion rather than crazily 'out there'.
    Being surrounded by enfps throughout my life, it doesn't quite sit true with the version given here. But best of luck on your journey and finding friends to soothe your heart :)

  • @Jamalova15
    @Jamalova15 3 года назад +9

    As an ENFP male I will admit that I hate planning but once a plan is made I'm there. I also cherish alone time and social time. When I'm alone I play videogames online so I'm alone but I'm still getting my social itch scratched lol. Oh and I'm a great listener but I listen for more of the big picture of what's going on and how best I can support you. I may not remember every little detail that was said but i will remember the really important parts and how it made you feel.

  • @grazynawolska8160
    @grazynawolska8160 3 года назад +17

    As an INTJ woman I agree. I find ENFPs difficult to be around. Last ENFP I was friends with I had to end the friendship. It was one sided. She was very emotionally needy, and would never support me back. It was always "last minute all about me" energy. I put up with it because she had a hard life (frankly due to her terrible choices romantically). But the moment she gave me attitude after I was always putting her and her needs first I was like "Nah, I don't need this" and walked out on her, never looked back. I don't think I would invest friend time into an ENFP. I prefer introverts as friends because they generate their own energy, much easier to keep a balance.

    • @firespawnie537
      @firespawnie537 3 года назад +10

      Sounds like a toxic ENFP. Not all ENFPS or extroverts in general are energy-vampires as you described this one though.

    • @rebornbutterfly1663
      @rebornbutterfly1663 3 года назад

      @@firespawnie537 True

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад +3

      Actually ENFPs are more likely to be empaths and attract emotional vampires... typically we are very intuitive about our relationships with others. I just HATE when we get mixed up with ESFPs. We are way more aware of how people perceive us than they are. Sorry you had that experience. But I am hopeful that the person wasn't an ENFP...or a very unhealthy one if so.

    • @emnaelmokhtar3758
      @emnaelmokhtar3758 2 года назад +6

      this is exactly the kind of conclusions Myers and Briggs did not want the world the make out of the testing system. They should've added a 17th type called: Asshole, could be anything of the other 16th. I mean woman check the MBTI-database website, there is not a single ENFPs who's ever been portrayed as a villain, not even in the fiction section. Maybe your friend wasn't aware of her shitty behavior, maybe you could have told her and maybe she'd have fixed it, or maybe you two just don't fit and it has nothing to do with MBTI.

    • @grazynawolska8160
      @grazynawolska8160 2 года назад +1

      @@heritage.home.crochet thanks. It was just one enfp who grew up kinda screwed up: rich, spoiled but abandoned. She therefore desperately clinged on or shoved you away...the INFJ in our group would confront her asinine behaviour and try to make things work, it never worked in the end and their friendship ended as well. I on the other hand cut it off asap as soon as I got poor treatment from enfp. I wish her the best but I have a standard on how I'm gonna be treated and the bare minimum is basic decency and respect. I'm just not gonna play the cling/shove emotional games like the ENFP wanted. I talked recently to the infj and she said she wishes she did what I did and just shut this friendship down right away and I said I wish I gave more chances like her, that I wasn't so final and immediate. I just knew she would never change because the root of her problems stems deeply from childhood issues and she needs a lot of work to correct it.

  • @Elgard2
    @Elgard2 3 года назад +11

    The part about ENFP not being able to plan depends on how developed their Te is. In general what you describe here is more valid for young ENFP (Which might be your social bubble more perhaps?). ENFPs are very good planners if they practice Te and are invested in the plan's outcome. Not many goals make it there though.

  • @dianatorralbo7690
    @dianatorralbo7690 2 года назад +3

    All you say is true. These are the big flaws of an ENFP. Now I'm older (34) I've developed my Te, learned how not depend on others and how to be way more cautious in love affairs. The result is that I don't particularly like the person I am right now.
    I miss when I was more spontaneous, bubbly, idealistic and idiotic. Yes, now I'm a better manager, have 0 heartbreaks and don't get in so much trouble, but... I feel like I lost a bit of my sunshine personality in the way.

    • @honantong
      @honantong 2 года назад +1

      i am ENFP. I love the sunshine in a person. as long as you can have sufficient friends and upbeating people around, you will probably be good.

  • @heritage.home.crochet
    @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад +14

    I'll tell you what is annoying...this video. Your friend must be an ESFP haha, they annoy me too girl. But honestly, this seems very off for the ENFPs.
    1. We are hopeless romantics, but the older the ENFP gets, say mid 20s, Si helps us feel the pain from the past so as not to repeat the same mistake with a bad partner.
    2. Yea we can be flakes... it's because our heart isn't in it. I won't blow my friends off to go do something I feel is better. But because our emotions demand to be felt, sometimes we need to extract ourselves from social commitments to cater to our feelings. I personally love having a general idea of what the plan is, I just don't want to be mailed down to a strict plan.
    3. We do not love to be the center of attention. We love when others love us, but actually a lot of ENFPs try hard to blend in... people just notice us. Can't help that.
    4. We 💖 alone time; actually, my social battery dies before my introverted husband's most times. We would rather be alone entertaining ourselves than be having a meaningless conversation in a room full of people who we can't connect with.
    You should air your grievances to your friend, all that pent up frustration isn't good for you.

    • @emnaelmokhtar3758
      @emnaelmokhtar3758 2 года назад +2

      It's me again hah!
      3. We do not love to be the center of attention. We love when others love us, but actually a lot of ENFPs try hard to blend in... people just notice us. Can't help that.
      Honestly, whenever I'm in a social setting I use my Fi to run jokes, I'd twist a fact or make a parody where the main character is myself because A- I believe I'm the most relevant person I can lean on (existential fact) and B- It's way less risky to make the joke about me (as I know I won't offend me) than to run it on someone else (especially if I'm not that close or that comfortable). Sometimes I can feel my ego-centrism getting higher than usual and I double check it with my best friend (who I think is and ENFJ but got mistyped as an ENFP) and usually she says it's not above normal. So yeah, her criticism is probably for the ESFPs, we have a lot of things we don't master but that list ain't it.

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад

      @@emnaelmokhtar3758 Hear hear!

    • @kellikakes81
      @kellikakes81 2 года назад

      Agree

  • @paultidwell8799
    @paultidwell8799 11 месяцев назад +1

    ENFPs love socializing but get overstimulated too and have to isolate after awhile. it's part of what makes it so difficult to figure out that you're extraverted because of course more than any other placement ENFPS are the most ambiverted and need alone time.

  • @darkpaladin9982
    @darkpaladin9982 3 года назад +6

    Thank you. I will make an effort to fix my flaws to be a better man.

  • @susanlittlesthobo6422
    @susanlittlesthobo6422 2 года назад +4

    As an ENFP I find this fairly superficial and based on stereotypes…I actually need alone time also, and to say ENFP is an immature type is a bit odd…

    • @tk2730
      @tk2730 Год назад

      Agreeeeeddd

  • @Mr.Surprise.715
    @Mr.Surprise.715 Год назад +2

    I'm an ENFP. Not all of us are like that. There are variations. Also I think you're an ISTJ.

  • @johnknight9150
    @johnknight9150 2 года назад +33

    Are you sure you're INTJ? You speak very loudly and quickly, more like an ENTP. INTJ speech and body language is very particular and often very unusual. Slow, precise, cautious, alien, often weirdly polite.

    • @kaiser1295
      @kaiser1295 2 года назад +2

      That's what I was thinking but I've met some introverts who act extroverted.

    • @johnknight9150
      @johnknight9150 2 года назад +7

      @@kaiser1295 Often introverts are mistaken for extroverts because they are engaging with the world with their second function, even though it can be very draining. INTJs, however, are particularly unusual.

    • @_Justheek
      @_Justheek 2 года назад +1

      yes i feel really alien myself

    • @Happy-hippy
      @Happy-hippy 2 года назад +2

      I’m an INTJ and I talk fast and loud!

    • @johnknight9150
      @johnknight9150 2 года назад

      @@Happy-hippy That will be to your detriment. Better to err on the side of slower and more deliberate, like Morpheus in The Matrix or Obama. Your words will carry more authority and distinguish you from your peers.

  • @youssefcharradi2363
    @youssefcharradi2363 2 года назад +5

    Bro wtf with the idea that she is not INTJ..
    Are you sure you understand what introvert means?
    She clearly did research in the topic and prepared the streamline of her ideas!
    This video is a monologue not a dialogue.

  • @strangeosyndro272
    @strangeosyndro272 10 месяцев назад

    Hmm nope as an ENFP when I plan, I plan. When I want to it's done. When I don't plans are thrown out the window 🤣

  • @sierrarose6211
    @sierrarose6211 3 года назад +6

    Erica, which MBTI test did you take?

  • @ninasky7
    @ninasky7 3 года назад +4

    Maybe i need to retest cuz i hate attention, attentive and dont need ppl for energy

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад +2

      Nah, it's definitely her information is unfounded. She's speaking more about ESFP...

    • @drwizarrd4421
      @drwizarrd4421 2 года назад +1

      so ESFPs love attention and prefer to be around people, but ENFPs don't? hmmmmm sure

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад +4

      @@drwizarrd4421 Yes, your statement is correct for the most part. All ENFPs are different and have different preferences. It's not that we love attention, actually in a lot of areas of our lives we like to sort of fly under the radar because it means we can be independent and do what we want without criticism...the thing is we like entertaining others and creating great moments that others enjoy, if that means being silly or singing songs or anything like that, then yes sure. And we will risk being scrutinized if we need to stand up for our beliefs. But typically we aren't attention seekers, unlike ESFPs who ultimately just love to be in the limelight regardless of how people see them. I've seen this in at least 3 ESFPs in my life...honestly a lot of ESxx love to entertain too, and they do so without reading the room a lot of times.
      As to the other thing, about not needing people for energy, again, all ENFPs are different and each one has a preference for different things. But generally ENFPs don't necessarily need energy from people, we just need novelty and ideas, a lot of times people give us that, but that can easily come from a movie, a book, or a walk in the park where we're observing people, but not interacting with them. We are relatively introverted and deep because we need to process the things we encounter, filter them through Fi and explore the ideas we have, but because we basically get our "source material" from the outside world, we are considered extraverted. We are curious about the world around us and need it for stimulation and energy in that way, but it doesn't necessarily have to be people. In fact, more often than not other people drain me or cause me anxiety because there isn't an easy connection and it's often times, I feel that it's better to be alone "exploring" (consuming entertainment, searching the internet, reading articles, creating art- alone) than trying to connect with someone who doesn't relate to me. And let's face it, ENFPs are pretty unique, they have a wide variety of interests and crave to converse over deep topics and have their theories tested and contested, most people aren't like that. When we do have a connection with another person that is exciting to us, it energizes us to the max!!! So yeah... Ask an ENFP and you shall receive.

  • @xdrazormon454
    @xdrazormon454 Год назад

    I’m ENFP but I learn to pick up personality traits from INFJs I was tired of being ostracized and heartbroken a lot from being annoying in the past so learning to be more empathetic towards others seem like a cool personality trait to pick up

  • @limo9402
    @limo9402 2 года назад +1

    One thing that is hilarious people think their mbti's is gonna give them their talents bru😂

  • @heritage.home.crochet
    @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад +8

    Ya know, of all the INTJs I've known, you're very different. Almost too loud and not nerdy enough haha. INTJs (ENFP's "perfect match") are very calculated, and brooding, and come off kinda creepy, but ENFPs love them. So deep and mysterious 💕. I'm sorry, but I think you might better take that test again. Idk you're personality, but you strike me as an E and an S....just a thought.

    • @emnaelmokhtar3758
      @emnaelmokhtar3758 2 года назад +4

      Point on. No INTJ type I've met (Espcially female INTJs) have this level of speed and enthusiasm like while talking, it's in fact that stoic air about them that I,(an ENFP growing her Te (suffering cynicism along the course but getting there)), like so much about them. She strikes m as an ENTJ maybe? or an ISTJ (she seemed to be really annoyed with the unorganizational shit)

    • @intjmikepearson1350
      @intjmikepearson1350 2 года назад +2

      You guys watched like 4 minutes of her. These types of comments are annoying.

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад

      @@intjmikepearson1350 Yea well, if you're going to come after another type with so much aggression and anger, you need to have your facts straight. I just kindly asked her to do so.

    • @intjmikepearson1350
      @intjmikepearson1350 2 года назад +2

      @@heritage.home.crochet I think it's funny how much feelers hate criticism. Makes sense, my feelings hate it. It's my thinking that likes it.

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад +2

      @@intjmikepearson1350 True statement, we hate it, even moreso when it's misdirected and nonfactual. Ultimately we like the results that criticism brings and often times seek it out to improve ourselves, it's just when it comes out of the blue and wasn't on our radar that we don't really respond well to it. But eventually if it has merit and resonates with us, we will endeavor to reconcile ourselves with the counsel. But our feelings have to get on board 1st.

  • @refreshyourpage._.0
    @refreshyourpage._.0 Год назад

    my friend is enfp and she’s hates intj, but I find intj are quite nice, maybe I’m infp the introvert traits are similar?😂

  • @honantong
    @honantong 2 года назад

    im an ENFP, i was dating an INTJ, but he always works, and doesnt want to talk much. We have dated 4 times in the course of 1.5 months. but I was thinking it's good for a relation if we can communicate more, or at least let each other know the feelings, expectations. But he never says much about his plan. And ocasionally he would want to meet , but that's like every 2 weeks or longer. Everyday if I try to txt him, he is not really happy. I once told him if we are still in the process of developing something at least let me know if my time spent is worth it. If he has to work late at least he can let me know before the usual end of work hour. But he never does that. ... I don't know if I'm really that much of a trouble, or he is simply not interested, (he didn't delete me or block me, although he expressed he was not happy when I tried to talk to him by the end of the day if he didnt say anything) The thing is the previous day he would be talking, and throw some fragmented message when it was very late, like 'Im hungry'. (nothing to do with wealth). But when I replied in the middle of the night, he didn't reply by the end of the next day...

    • @CatCat-tm2cg
      @CatCat-tm2cg Год назад

      I’m an INTJ. You probably annoyed that guy because you wanted to spend too much time with them(It might not seem like a lot to you but it is for him) you tried to be too romantic(INTJ’s are clueless about romantic stuff)

    • @helenee.5462
      @helenee.5462 Год назад

      This is a very enfp response. Articulate, intelligent and also rambling at the same time.

  • @brunopagno
    @brunopagno 7 месяцев назад

    You are too happy for an INTJ, there's something wrong...
    Just kidding, nice video!

  • @Twelly93
    @Twelly93 Год назад +1

    I'm not a fan of Enfps either. Like to the point that I'm shocked that mbti says that they are such a great match for us. I can't take their unreliability and irrationality. And they talk too much. To be honest I see them as childish.

    • @hannahp6570
      @hannahp6570 3 месяца назад

      Honestly I agree. All the people I had to cut off for my mental health were ENFPs and INFPs 😂 but we gotta be aware these unreliable ENFPs are unhealthy ENFPs, not healthy ENFPs.

  • @MrANTIeggman
    @MrANTIeggman 2 года назад

    Great video! 👌

  • @Ibbiehart6645
    @Ibbiehart6645 2 месяца назад

    ENFPS dont need or want to be with people all the time. We need and love to be alone alot.

  • @alexanderjang46
    @alexanderjang46 2 года назад

    Just curious, what is your channel about? It doesnt seem to have a genre/focus to gain a certain audience or a committing audience. Hope you r still grinding regardless, i see your last vid was 8 months ago

  • @teamrsb8673
    @teamrsb8673 Год назад

    Yeah they end up getting hurt

  • @Sucker4Mitski
    @Sucker4Mitski 3 месяца назад

    im an enfp but I get so annoyed by nf types.

  • @debra05
    @debra05 2 года назад

    😆 hahaha All the ENFPs are responding to your video because the INTJs can't be bothered! Planning and facts are cool as long as you're not too rigid. ENFPs are constantly chasing the rainbow so sometimes they miss being "in the moment" as you described.

  • @stephan6442
    @stephan6442 3 года назад +16

    You appear to be more an extraverted type. You do not come across as an intj at all. Why is that?

    • @aj2382
      @aj2382 3 года назад +15

      She’s just showcasing her extroverted thinking function here, which INTJs are known to be very comfortable using.

    • @ericadobeck3172
      @ericadobeck3172  3 года назад +18

      Well because I am talking to an inanimate object rather than a human being. The phone can't talk back or give me feedback so I can re-record myself an endless amount of times until I am satisfied with my delivery. This make me more confident in how I come across because I am only focused on what I want to say and don't have to listen to someone else in real time.

    • @aj2382
      @aj2382 3 года назад +7

      @@ericadobeck3172 Very relatable. I have noticed that as well. Weirdly enough INTJs are able to perform quite well on camera whereas a more ‘social’ type like ENFP often have trouble doing that.

    • @jessenoreligionno5731
      @jessenoreligionno5731 3 года назад +3

      Well she is by herself, she is talking to theoretical MoFos who may or may not be watching. It's easy to seem Extroverted when you're basically talking to yourself. Though it just does seem weird to think of someone as beautiful as her being Introverted, it doesn't fit the stereotype in our head.

    • @stephan6442
      @stephan6442 3 года назад +2

      Thanks Erica for the answer!

  • @kaiser1295
    @kaiser1295 2 года назад +1

    I'm an ENFP and the only annoying trait I agree with is not being able to plan. That is definitely a problem in my work and social life. It's also easy to fix because we're fast learners.

  • @MA-nf3rs
    @MA-nf3rs 7 месяцев назад

    I don’t feel your an intj 😅I feel your an Istj 🤔

  • @devinrosenow496
    @devinrosenow496 2 года назад +1

    I think your blinded by the bubbly extroverted side and your enfp dates are going to instantly pick up the J vibe. So they will release the introversion and vulnerable side much slower. They will show you the more extroverted side because that's how you met. But enfps can be extremely introverted. Lights out and complete darkness type of introversion. You need to invite this side and make it feel comfortable otherwise there going to give you whatever you can handle. And good riddens if they never get to that point. Straight ghost

  • @majavidova4311
    @majavidova4311 9 месяцев назад

    This cutie is supposed to be Fe trickster? Lol

  • @imfacejacked6046
    @imfacejacked6046 2 года назад

    Your pretty

  • @M.Moadeli123
    @M.Moadeli123 2 года назад

    Strike me as entj or estp.

  • @kaiser1295
    @kaiser1295 2 года назад +1

    I find INTJs monotonous, boring and rude at times. I prefer the company of INFJs but my favourite type are the ENFJs.

    • @heritage.home.crochet
      @heritage.home.crochet 2 года назад

      That's cool! INTJs are sometimes a little harsh. But I like how they are unapologetically themselves, they know people think they're weird, but they don't really care. Also, I find that something about ENFPs make them feel comfortable and helps them get in touch with their playful side. For the ones I know, they seem to let their guard down without even realizing it. I LOVE that 💕.
      INFJs are very sweet and have a soft spoken, unassuming and polite way of speaking, I think it is so refreshing and they are usually concerned, genuinely concerned about your well-being.
      ENFJs are pretty cool, the only thing about them is that I never feel special in their company, you know, like I'll think they're my best friend and then I realize that this is how they are to everyone lol, which is fine, but it always kinda makes me a little sad. ENFJs are so organized and really are the best friends. Super positive too! I love them.

  • @hannahp6570
    @hannahp6570 3 месяца назад

    Unhealthy ENFP and INFP are the worst things to deal with……. They never complete the project, depend/prey on other people and do not realize people who ENFPs/INFPs decide to depend on also have their own life and responsibilities 😂 I am ESFJ and love helping others but they were too much 😂 I had to cut a few people who were using me as their problem solvers and they were all unhealthy ENFPs and INFPs. My future MIL and SIL are ENFP and INFP, and also the reason of my headache 😂 I stopped helping them and being a hero for their consequences and finally found a peace 😂