Golden pair: Flip the first and last letter Silver pair: Flip the last letter Bronze pair: Flip the first three letters Challenge pair: Flip the middle two letters
As an ISFP woman i started watching this video to learn about my relationship with my ESFJ female friend not knowing i was about to learn this huuuuuge lesson on how to become a better woman more feminine to my ESTJ man. Life is full of surprises. From now on I will pray God for having him in my life and tell him how much I am grateful for his existence in my life. Hopefully one day he will feel and say that he is willing to die for me like he sais over n over that he is willing to die for his mother. PS; i am grateful for the visdom that u share CS.
@@dasein9980 They I do have to agree with! I will also add that it is also very individual-based. For instance in order for me to be attracted to a guy, he must me very intelligent and be intellectually stimulating so as to allow me to learn and grow; aside from being able to share interests. Women also equally go for physical attraction, -not just men.
I started reading Zac Roedde's book last night after Chase gave his recommendation of it. I'm several chapters in; it's really interesting. This was a really nice video to capture the nuance around golden pairs. Hearing his hesitation in his description about them was eye opening and really helpful in tempering my own enthusiasm.
Also never tell an INTJ woman, or even an INTP woman that there is something wrong with being a masculine woman. That masculinity is who they are and deeply engraved in their inner psyche, which has it’s own unique virtue. Also, a strong and confident woman will not emasculate her man, but only help him become stronger and help him build his own ego.
Also... ESFP and ENTJ men are by far the most likely to ask their woman for input before they go out on a ledge and do something stupid. Its almost like INTPs women will be happy to follow us cause we actually take their wellbeing into consideration by constantly asking them their opinion and never taking their freedom away.
INTP is the most feminine T type of them all apart from maybe ENTP. INTP women have zero issue. What the issue they have is, is more being TP where women value FJ. The fact is, Te Fi is the most forceful, and even Fi Te is more forceful than Ti/Fe. Also Ne is the single most feminine function due to N being more feminine AND Se being the yang function. Outside of the SFJs and NFPs the NTPs are right there with the NFJs and ahead of the SFPs in femininity. The true masculine women are the STJs and then STPs and NTJs
I don't know ESFJ/ INTJ is a pairing I just can't wrap my head around. They value completely different things, have their trickster function as the others hero function and basically cannot make conversation in a satisfying way: ESFJs like to play around with their Ne and combined with Si and hero Fe it often evolves round the "little things in life" which couldn't be any more opposite to the INTJs, who are obsessed with big, grandiose visions and often have a disdain for the little things. ESFJs also tend to constantly downplay the insights of INTJs with weird attempts of conciliation because they are intimidated by the often cold and hard worldview of INTJs. The only positive thing I can think of, is that ESFJs make it easy for the INTJs to open up emotionally and show affection. But I've noticed that INTJs often have a problem with the Fe emotions in the long term and become unsatisfied by them because they crave deeper Fi connection.
My parents are ESFJ and INTJ, at least for them this is a horrible pairing They make each other miserable and the only reason they are still married is that they can't even agree on terms for divorce Sometimes it seems as if even the existence of each other makes them irritated, they always fight, they hurt themselves just so they can hurt each other, every little thing becomes another reason to fight, being around both of them is exhausting I'm also ESFJ like my mom, and when i started dating the only thing i insisted on was someone who is nothing like my father Ended up dating 4 ISFP's and 1 ISTP that i married, both are a wonderful pairing for ESFJ, even the relationships that ended ended on a good note without big fights or drama
ESFJ+INTJ is a terrible combination indeed, even though theory says it's the natural pair. ESFJ's are like walking narcissists to me, loud and obnoxious. And since they're majority type treating every minority type as a mental disorder.
Super interesting take!! Mind. Blown. I remember how at a high school prom dance two boys I knew very well were standing around the dance floor. I was in the dance floor too, just finishing dancing with someone. I was partner-less among a mesh of people. One of those boys was pointing around (discretely enough) at girls and the other boy mouthed yes or no. They were sort of wingmaning each other. Then came my turn to be pointed at. I pretended I was looking at something else but was acutely aware of what they were doing. The boy gave a very emphatic ‘no’ with a shake of the head for me alright. I have never forgotten that. My evil origin story 👹
I've been told on multiple occasions that I'm the man in my relationship with my husband (I'm TI hero and he's FE hero) but it's never felt that way between us and we've been married 16 years.
On feeling obligated: I have a really hard time asking people to help me, I avoid asking for favours as much as possible (maybe it's an infj thing), but when there's no other way but to ask someone, and I don't have a boyfriend, I will always ask someone I have been in a sexual relationship with in the past. Asking a man I've never had sex with and do not intend to have sex with for any kind of favour, I would feel obligated to him! In that case I'd rather pay someone to do it than ask. However, I don't feel this obligation with men when the sex part has happened already (even many years ago) and it's also clear how we stand to each other. It's like sex made it ok for me to ask 😅 no idea if that's bad or good... (Asking women for help, I will only accept help from few women closest to me, whom I've helped before myself or they offer to help without having to ask.)
First off, thanks for the awesome content. I'm a male ENFP. I've been married to a female ESFP for 25+years. I have my opinions of how it's worked. We've managed a healthy growing relationship over these years. I'd like to know what you, Cs Joseph think as to how it has been so developmental for us. I am super curious of your opinion. I'm curious, is it seems not common for our types to be compatible, in marriage. Thanks again for your work. I've been watching you for years. I am also obsessed on psychology. Specifically personality type in relation to psychological issues and development👍.
I am enfp and keep attracting these ESFPs over the last 15 years (others too but not like ESFPs)...even one that initially came off like an ENTJ(tested as one as well but he aint one lol😅), but he couldn't fake it long enough lol...I feel ENFPs and ESFPs can get along fantastically until we get to real world problems... my ESFPs have been horrible with money and not very good savers or investors or good foreshadowing/ cause and effect situations, so I feel I am always carrying the burden. They're also very moody lol. But they don't think they are lol. However, like I said earlier, these guys have been the only 2 that I've ever felt a gravitational pull towards, but it DEFINITELY gets rocky. I think if I did find another ESFP, I would have to know for a fact that he has savings and investments he hasn't touched, pays all his bills on time, and has no secret (or not-so-secret vices, like gambling or drugs etc). I may ask on the first date for bank statements 😅😅😅 just kidding...kinda sorta 😂😂. I'm so surprised that we're not considered some type of pair (just changing the second letter).
@@kellikakes81 esfps can't manage money or keep things in order. I have to lead with everything. The other thing that is difficult is being patient with ESFP. They are a long story. They go on even longer than ENFP's on rants. They'll go into detail about things that have almost no importance to ENFP's. The thing is if you can be patient there's value in the details. I could care less about those details until I stuck it out long enough to see the benefits. ✌️
Now that is true that it is easy to find golden pairs. I know I always easily spotted my golden pair, and vice versa, which is the ENTJ as an INTP, albeit being such a super rare type.
Makes sense not to take things from men. I feel icky being taught by my esfj mom not to take things from people, but you've explained its having to do with being put into contracts. Estps are weird with indirectly asking if you have kids or asking other questions pertaining into if you're single or not. They really dont like being rejected? (Also may be a uduf focused.) And it seems like it doesn't matter if you reject your golden pair. They really dont care. I dont see how estjs and istps get together to be honest if they feel really hurt from rejection.
Silver pair for the win, as an INTP I never have problems getting my INTJ wife to submit 😉. Before me she never wanted to get married or get pregnant she readily got carried away into both. Not sure if this is just Ti hero BDE or silver pairs working the best. No complaints here on INTJ women being capable of taking on a feminine gender role.
Not true. Acceptance is acceptance and giving up is giving up. Non-acceptance is suffering from the fact that reality looks different than we would like it to. Acceptance is agreeing with how reality looks and deciding what we do with the reality as it exists.
How's it goin', champion? Just wanted to drop by and give you a fair dinkum thumbs up for the awesome job you're doing with your RUclips videos. I came across your channel this week, and I reckon it's top-notch. I'm having a ripper time visiting your channel and getting hooked on your brilliant content. Can't wait to see more of your stellar work, mate. Have a bonza week and keep being a legend!
These are relations of an unstable psychological distance. Both partners experience difficulties in establishing and keeping a stable psychological distance between them. The only chance Contrary partners have to get on together well with each other is if they are left alone. In other cases partners usually compete over their strong sides. The reason for this is when somebody else is present, each partner tries to capture the attention of the listener by showing off their strong side. Contrary partners may like some elements of the other partner's behaviour. This often helps the partners to begin a more close relationship. However, when they are in company, their interaction can change dramatically. The introvertpartner usually becomes distant, relations lose warm feelings and become formal and cautious. Both partners may start regretting that they became too trustful
The extrovert partner normally gets the false impression that the introvert partner is deliberately acting against them. This can bring a great deal of misunderstanding and surprise into these relations, as both partners are convinced that before everything was fine. The introvert partner usually starts suppressing the activity of the extrovert partner and may reproach and criticise them. The extrovert partner in return can behave in the same way. The most vulnerable position in these relations belongs to the extrovert partner, who may feel as if they are being betrayed. As a result the extrovert partner could start to worry excessively about their next step so as not to make any mistakes and may therefore become very suspicious. Unfortunately the extrovert partner cannot see that their introvert partner is not as bad as they have begun to imagine.
These pairings are best for TALKING. One on one only. Marriages become platonic after a while due to different erotic styles. Great for therapy bad for relationships
I do not consider dating men that are not intuitive, long term. Bad thing? 🤷🏼♀️ I get motorcycle rides from ISTP'S. I love them. They create experiences and tie me up.. the right way.😂 👌
The world has been set up for destruction and this is how it works. Fast grieving process and quick acceptance = contrast that brings up cognitive dissonance. One side of the relationship should never take responsibility for the whole relationship. It does not lift anybody up to the level of love, unless someone understands what is when the contrast is not.
ENTP here and INTJ is very attracted to me too. I really like that. Also as an ENTP i like a relaxed dynamic in a relationship. ISFPs are a wild card. Our Ne dom is the ISFPs blind function which leads to clashes which leads to a not so relaxed dynamic. I think ill stick to my INTJ chick
Please Chase, how to deal with my ISTJ father with his pride ? He's brillant and loyal (man for the job) but have been unwanted by his family, friends and clients because he's unable to be humble. Mr Justifications lacks of integrity, he gives absolution for himself before even recognize proprely his wrongdoings. Maybe because for him, admitting his failures will make him undesireable ? How to make him out of this stupid loop ? Thanks you, I love ur job.
@@honor9lite1337 thks for ur suggestion but some people already did that, in vain. An other approch : he asked me to read the Bible and in exchange, everytime we meet to discuss about it, Ill ask him to tell me his most "valuable" mistakes/moments when he was helped or corrected by somebody in his life. Will be hard for him but thats the way out his delusion. It will be my last try i think
@@Greg-lw4zbI do not agree with his opinions on the fixed gender roles, but of course it doesn’t mean thar I will not listen to his opinions. Now at the same token, I do not agree with the man-having feminists and fear mongering among them. It is best to look at the issue with gender with a balanced and detached perspective. In addition much of these pro-male and newfound patriarchal movements is a reactionary against this whole transgender madness that has been going on, so we both have to learn to not overreact and not push the pendulum to sway too, too much the other way.
@@CSJoseph Yeah... I was setting her up to look silly, to be honest. I'm really tired of INTP assumptions. They can be so brilliant if they bother to consider other angles and adopt an attitude of intellectual humility, but too often, they are so closed that they become bizarrely ignorant. It's so wasteful.
@@CSJosephThat is an assumption on your part. In order for us to learn and grow, we must listen to individuals and read books of differing opinions as I have. Now I will invite you to read the books that will enable to reach the path enlightenment (some contemporary, some older): 1. “Wake Up” by Sam Harris (an ENTP like yourself) 2. “Ethics” by Spinoza (INTP) 3. “Theological-Political Treatise by Spinoza. 4. “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins (INTP) 5. “Behave: The Biology of Humans of our Best and Worst” by Robert Sapolsky (ENTP) 6. “Enlightenment Now” by Steven Pinker (another ENTP!) Read, listen and learn with an open mind, and they’ll do great just to your Ti parent.
I suspect that the cigar used for keeping track of time when recording. Doesn’t that environment get to your Si inferior or are you actively being brave despite all of the pukes and potential violence? 😂 (and simultaneously keeping focus on the topic/video that is being recorded, receiving examples on what you are saying about society’s problems in real time).
What do you think about intp-enfj pair? Is there any point in engaging in such a relationship? As far as I understand myself, I should be a UD/SF type; although I've managed to develop Fi so well that I don't know if I'm rather developing my super-ego. I'm asking because I have a problem with attracting too many enfj women - they're showing a lot of interest in my person, but I'm afraid they're viewing me as an some infp (it's quite funny, whenever they seem to be confused when I'm not exactly the person they thought I'm). I'm not gonna lie: I have a problem with their horribld and overly ethically oriented perspective, but since I'm still developing Fi, maybe there is some sense? Maybe there are some enfj people here paired with some intp: how is your relationship going?
I have an INTP boyfriend and we’ve been together for two years. It is an amazing relationship but very humbling tbh. This is a relationship with the highest sexual compatibility and lowest emotional compatibility. The physical connection is insane and addictive. It increases overtime and you can’t get enough of it. But when it comes to the emotional needs, you really have to bend down the knee for the other person. This means an ENFJ has to give the majority of gratitude and priority even if Fe inferior doesn’t deserve it at times. An INTP has to give the majority of listening and input even if Ti inferior is incorrect. It is very hard but I have done it in my relationship and it works. Overtime both partners start providing the listening and appreciation at the same time.
@@JR-ow8xg Yea, you only confirmed my conclusion. I have enfj friend, and I really appreciate the relationship, but I just can't stand the fact that he like others Ti inferior type just are not able to listen sometimes and don't even seem to care when they don't make sense, because what's important is what they belive to be true by their thinking. What's worse I'd say is their capacity to be too helpful to the point of demanding to take their advice - again what they belive -, because they know batter what I need (even if you prove them wrong, they won't listen). And even worse I'd say is that, they care more about how I feel than what I think, and sometimes it happens that they'll project an infp on me and treat me like Fi hero delusional believer in ideas that I share + are trying to read my mood, whith which I feel uncomfortable. Nope, maybe there is sexual compatibility, but I just can't live without being satysfied with my other needs. Btw. sorry for my Fi blabla everything's bad perspective, but I just had not a great day, that just kicked me back inside my bitter side (and for my eanglish, but I couldn't care about correctness) Thank you!
@@Heanesy Don’t worry I understand your perspective and I don’t find it negative at all. I find it rather accurate and realistic. Pedagogue relationships are not for everyone. Personally, I have grow emotionally because of it. My boyf doesn’t let me get an idea just because, and he challenges me to informed myself correctly about things. I am not a regular ENFJ preacher- I know what’s right- follow my lead- because of that constant challenge. But you need a humble ENFJ for this. I hope you can find the right partner for you :) Ps. Just a quick comment, Fi demon is also very irritating, like please let me make you happy 😑 and stop self-sabotaging your life! and yes, you’re worth it.
@@JR-ow8xg Can you tell me more about this self sabotaging? Well, I let people make me happy, besides today I have really nice relationships with my Fi, but It happen, that I get overload and turn into a little bit more chilly person. I can say that I proceed to bacame councious of my emotions and really liked them - that's why I asked this question to begin with. Maybe I'll give it a try if I'll find this humble enfj. Also thank you for engaging.
I think you'd have much better chances filming at day time somewhere like a park. More sober people, i think you'd get more contestants out there in general.
@@CSJoseph Isn't it the case that both men and women have an element of the opposite sex? Not the suppression of these elements, but integration should be the goal? With regard to individuation. I think you may be a little too extreme about these concepts. It's a bit like telling someone not to show the characteristics of their unconscious, because their main one is the one in the ego.
Does C S Joseph have content on the golden pair relationship INFJ and ENFP? And any specifically on INFJ male and ENFP female relationship? Curious how this relationship would play out at any stage in a relationship. He said I can find some stuff in season 14.
@@CSJoseph👍Got it and became a member. Thanks for the help. Though where is the best place for me to comment or ask questions about stuff in your portal videos? Is there comment sections for those podcasts? Just trying to navigate all your content.
Socionics shows Golden Pair relationships work well with Sensors (Mirror relationship) but not intuitives (Relationship of Extinguishment.) The reason for this discrepancy is the mbti introverted sensing cognitive stack error. Which is not Chase's fault. ------------------------------------------ Socionics shows Mbti-ISTJ "Inspector" (Incorrectly defined SiTe) = ISTj = LSI "Inspector" = Correctly defined TiSe = Ti structure logic enforced in the Se environment. IE ISTJ red tape. Mbti-ISFJ (Incorrectly defined SiFe) = ISFj = ESI = Correctly defined FiSe = Fi values enforced in the Se environment. Mbti-ISTP "Craftsman" (Incorrectly defined TiSe) = ISTp = SLI (SiTe) "Craftsman" = Si Sensory Te pragmatism. Mbti-ISFP (Incorrectly defined FiSe) = ISFp = SEI (SiFe) = Si Sensory Fe mood.
Now I have seen several successful pedagogue relationships with my type. I know several INTP men whom have been married to either ESFJ, or ISFJ woman and have had very happy and successful marriages.
@@lalim499Yes of course, as it was expected and a rigid social norm that men and women are forced to follow. Naturally, if the man and the man are both introverted, the INTP being the male will initiate the relationship as Western society expects him to do do. Now the same goes with my case, me being an INTP woman was asked out by my INTJ hubby. Now, when it came to my timid and introverted ISTP older bother, he winded up getting courted and even proposed my his extroverted ESFP wife, and guess what? After 30 years they are still married! Imagine that!?
30:35 k this is going off the rails - time attention and resources don’t obligate women to do anything - stalkers would agree with you though - if a woman doesn’t reciprocate, how about not spending time attention and resources 🤯 42:05 you are way too excited about women having no agency or justice - take responsibility for your own bad choices in women
@@qasimimtiaz9668thats because over masculinity is just an over compensation to masculinity. If he feels he has to swing his ego around, thats because he is fragile
@galaxydoxx4326 If you spend 20-30 hours watching back-and-forth interviews with 5-6 different celebrity ESTPs, you will start to notice the overlap that is consistent to the ESTP, and then can spot it easily in public. Chase has a nice list of typed celebrities on his site; that's what I use.
Don't give up! My ESTP daughter finds her ISTJs. She is still young, but she definitely has stated she is only marrying a STJ. I am an ESTJ marrying an ISTP in two weeks. Great pairings!
1 quick feedback, when you mention natural pairs I think you refer to duality pair in socionic? Then it might benefit the viewer to mention ESFJ and INTP because many people follow the MBTI system more (even though INTP is labeled as INTJ in socionics and vice versa).
"Hell" was how he described it. He even stated that it was probably a mistype bcs those two wouldnt end up together in the first place. I cant recall the episode he answered this question tho but I remember his answer.
@@johnsmith26185 Interesting because I am an INTJ and my husband of 15 years is an ISTP. I have watched extensively the videos where he dives into the cognitive functions and the descriptions fit us SO well. All the examples he gives are definitely us. I have even ran those through family and they said "yes, it's you both". I tried to look the other types and they were so off from what we are. Don't know but we work. Did we have to adjust and did we have some problems in the beginning ? yes. But both being so rational we saw the value in what we both bring to the table and worked it out and focused on our strengths rather than our differences.. It's been peaceful after the initial bumps. We are however VERY healthy individuals with little to no trauma and parents who have been together 50-60 years so not sure if that helped. We compromise. Our home is very stable.
@@malakashraf2801 no he said that due to her being sduf all she cared about was popularity(probably through being vainglorious) but a udsf will be a more humble woman that will not compete with him on his cognitive origins
Chase has already said that on a golden pair, SD/SF should go with SD/SF and UD/UF with UD/UF to prevent cognitive origins from competing. The problem was that an SD/UF intj is has egotism (SD) combined with vainglory (UF) which end up creating a similar problem for his own reverence, and in this case impeding her femininity. Humbleness is very feminine so it makes sense that SF would be preferable. Moreover, A UD/UF entp and an SD/UF intj both have two parts reverence and one part satisfaction, so, the origin competition is very directly present.
Now although you are eight that the woman decreases her value with body count, that it is absolute BS that she decreases her value with a college degree.
your not leaving out the part of information that made these feminine women be abused right? it might look like vanity but we are protecting ourselves from emotional pain and abuse that was our reality for years, maybe divorce initiated by women was necessary and sorry it ruins your perceived home, but it takes two to make or break a relationship
Recal for my forgetful ahh: Golden duo - Easy to get into hard to maintain… highest highs lowest lows🤥 full octagram match?(cognitive development) If not -> destruction…oo risky Silver/pdg duo- hard to get into easy to maintain¿
would be nice to have a table for natural pairs/golden pair/ silver/ bronze/ pedagogue pair etc
Please this 🙏 It gets so confusing
Yessss
Golden pair: Flip the first and last letter
Silver pair: Flip the last letter
Bronze pair: Flip the first three letters
Challenge pair: Flip the middle two letters
Pedagog (sp)=flip all the letters.
Does anyone have the meanings.
Natural flip first 3 letters
As an ISFP woman i started watching this video to learn about my relationship with my ESFJ female friend not knowing i was about to learn this huuuuuge lesson on how to become a better woman more feminine to my ESTJ man. Life is full of surprises. From now on I will pray God for having him in my life and tell him how much I am grateful for his existence in my life. Hopefully one day he will feel and say that he is willing to die for me like he sais over n over that he is willing to die for his mother.
PS; i am grateful for the visdom that u share CS.
You are definitely right that men reject women a 1000x more than women reject men.
That’s because woman are way more subtle. It’s somewhat sad that most men are highly unaware of that, even I sometimes forget that.
@@dasein9980 They I do have to agree with! I will also add that it is also very individual-based. For instance in order for me to be attracted to a guy, he must me very intelligent and be intellectually stimulating so as to allow me to learn and grow; aside from being able to share interests. Women also equally go for physical attraction, -not just men.
I started reading Zac Roedde's book last night after Chase gave his recommendation of it. I'm several chapters in; it's really interesting.
This was a really nice video to capture the nuance around golden pairs. Hearing his hesitation in his description about them was eye opening and really helpful in tempering my own enthusiasm.
Also never tell an INTJ woman, or even an INTP woman that there is something wrong with being a masculine woman. That masculinity is who they are and deeply engraved in their inner psyche, which has it’s own unique virtue. Also, a strong and confident woman will not emasculate her man, but only help him become stronger and help him build his own ego.
Its interesting how INTJ women and INTP women are the most feminine types when they get in a sustainable relationship, but aye you know best.🤷♂️
Also... ESFP and ENTJ men are by far the most likely to ask their woman for input before they go out on a ledge and do something stupid. Its almost like INTPs women will be happy to follow us cause we actually take their wellbeing into consideration by constantly asking them their opinion and never taking their freedom away.
INTP is the most feminine T type of them all apart from maybe ENTP.
INTP women have zero issue. What the issue they have is, is more being TP where women value FJ.
The fact is, Te Fi is the most forceful, and even Fi Te is more forceful than Ti/Fe. Also Ne is the single most feminine function due to N being more feminine AND Se being the yang function.
Outside of the SFJs and NFPs the NTPs are right there with the NFJs and ahead of the SFPs in femininity.
The true masculine women are the STJs and then STPs and NTJs
There is nothing masculine about INTP women except Ti's arrogance.
@@dairdbintj are not feminine
Define ‘Be on your purpose’. I really like this concept in relationship.
I've been wondering and thinking about the intricacies of golden pair relationships very often, so thank you!
I don't know ESFJ/ INTJ is a pairing I just can't wrap my head around. They value completely different things, have their trickster function as the others hero function and basically cannot make conversation in a satisfying way: ESFJs like to play around with their Ne and combined with Si and hero Fe it often evolves round the "little things in life" which couldn't be any more opposite to the INTJs, who are obsessed with big, grandiose visions and often have a disdain for the little things. ESFJs also tend to constantly downplay the insights of INTJs with weird attempts of conciliation because they are intimidated by the often cold and hard worldview of INTJs.
The only positive thing I can think of, is that ESFJs make it easy for the INTJs to open up emotionally and show affection. But I've noticed that INTJs often have a problem with the Fe emotions in the long term and become unsatisfied by them because they crave deeper Fi connection.
is not that deep bro.
lot of intp focused esfjs are nerds
My parents are ESFJ and INTJ, at least for them this is a horrible pairing
They make each other miserable and the only reason they are still married is that they can't even agree on terms for divorce
Sometimes it seems as if even the existence of each other makes them irritated, they always fight, they hurt themselves just so they can hurt each other, every little thing becomes another reason to fight, being around both of them is exhausting
I'm also ESFJ like my mom, and when i started dating the only thing i insisted on was someone who is nothing like my father
Ended up dating 4 ISFP's and 1 ISTP that i married, both are a wonderful pairing for ESFJ, even the relationships that ended ended on a good note without big fights or drama
@@qasimimtiaz9668it is, although he is using different system
ESFJ+INTJ is a terrible combination indeed, even though theory says it's the natural pair. ESFJ's are like walking narcissists to me, loud and obnoxious. And since they're majority type treating every minority type as a mental disorder.
Super interesting take!! Mind. Blown. I remember how at a high school prom dance two boys I knew very well were standing around the dance floor. I was in the dance floor too, just finishing dancing with someone. I was partner-less among a mesh of people. One of those boys was pointing around (discretely enough) at girls and the other boy mouthed yes or no. They were sort of wingmaning each other. Then came my turn to be pointed at. I pretended I was looking at something else but was acutely aware of what they were doing. The boy gave a very emphatic ‘no’ with a shake of the head for me alright. I have never forgotten that. My evil origin story 👹
Best thumbnail ever
well INFP male here, triple outcome, interest; is so true that i won't bother to waste my time on speaking with a girl i am not interested with
I've been told on multiple occasions that I'm the man in my relationship with my husband (I'm TI hero and he's FE hero) but it's never felt that way between us and we've been married 16 years.
On feeling obligated: I have a really hard time asking people to help me, I avoid asking for favours as much as possible (maybe it's an infj thing), but when there's no other way but to ask someone, and I don't have a boyfriend, I will always ask someone I have been in a sexual relationship with in the past. Asking a man I've never had sex with and do not intend to have sex with for any kind of favour, I would feel obligated to him! In that case I'd rather pay someone to do it than ask. However, I don't feel this obligation with men when the sex part has happened already (even many years ago) and it's also clear how we stand to each other. It's like sex made it ok for me to ask 😅 no idea if that's bad or good... (Asking women for help, I will only accept help from few women closest to me, whom I've helped before myself or they offer to help without having to ask.)
What's your mbti type?
@@sonnyboylng infj (I mentioned it actually)
Yeah that’s really fucked up
I dont like asking for favors too but being more confident with my feelings has helped me with that
Read zak roeddes book
Yikes. But True.
Tying the shoe🤣 that's why I love you
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First off, thanks for the awesome content. I'm a male ENFP. I've been married to a female ESFP for 25+years. I have my opinions of how it's worked. We've managed a healthy growing relationship over these years. I'd like to know what you, Cs Joseph think as to how it has been so developmental for us. I am super curious of your opinion. I'm curious, is it seems not common for our types to be compatible, in marriage. Thanks again for your work. I've been watching you for years. I am also obsessed on psychology. Specifically personality type in relation to psychological issues and development👍.
I believe that's a kindred relationship that Chase also has, except he's an ENTP. Some videos on it in his channel
I am enfp and keep attracting these ESFPs over the last 15 years (others too but not like ESFPs)...even one that initially came off like an ENTJ(tested as one as well but he aint one lol😅), but he couldn't fake it long enough lol...I feel ENFPs and ESFPs can get along fantastically until we get to real world problems... my ESFPs have been horrible with money and not very good savers or investors or good foreshadowing/ cause and effect situations, so I feel I am always carrying the burden. They're also very moody lol. But they don't think they are lol. However, like I said earlier, these guys have been the only 2 that I've ever felt a gravitational pull towards, but it DEFINITELY gets rocky. I think if I did find another ESFP, I would have to know for a fact that he has savings and investments he hasn't touched, pays all his bills on time, and has no secret (or not-so-secret vices, like gambling or drugs etc). I may ask on the first date for bank statements 😅😅😅 just kidding...kinda sorta 😂😂. I'm so surprised that we're not considered some type of pair (just changing the second letter).
@@kellikakes81 esfps can't manage money or keep things in order. I have to lead with everything. The other thing that is difficult is being patient with ESFP. They are a long story. They go on even longer than ENFP's on rants. They'll go into detail about things that have almost no importance to ENFP's. The thing is if you can be patient there's value in the details. I could care less about those details until I stuck it out long enough to see the benefits. ✌️
@@mikeraskin7319 oh you are sooo right about those rants! Oh boy!! But, gotta love them lol
Now that is true that it is easy to find golden pairs. I know I always easily spotted my golden pair, and vice versa, which is the ENTJ as an INTP, albeit being such a super rare type.
Makes sense not to take things from men. I feel icky being taught by my esfj mom not to take things from people, but you've explained its having to do with being put into contracts.
Estps are weird with indirectly asking if you have kids or asking other questions pertaining into if you're single or not. They really dont like being rejected? (Also may be a uduf focused.)
And it seems like it doesn't matter if you reject your golden pair. They really dont care. I dont see how estjs and istps get together to be honest if they feel really hurt from rejection.
In what capacity it doesn't matter if you reject your golden pair?
Silver pair for the win, as an INTP I never have problems getting my INTJ wife to submit 😉. Before me she never wanted to get married or get pregnant she readily got carried away into both. Not sure if this is just Ti hero BDE or silver pairs working the best. No complaints here on INTJ women being capable of taking on a feminine gender role.
Aww my husband is AMAZING! I will always get carried away with you ❤
I’m so silver pair, I’m the INTP and my hubby is the INTJ, and we both have equal partnership in our marriage and been married for 20 years.
You're definitely the submissive bro don't play. She might play wifey but ain't no INTJ woman letting anyone but an ST male be the dom
@@dxfifa your bitch vibe is making me wanna make you submit baby ;)
@@dxfifaStp men
Accepting everything also means not taking initiative to make changes.
That also means staying in toxic places bcoz you dont know better
Not true. Acceptance is acceptance and giving up is giving up. Non-acceptance is suffering from the fact that reality looks different than we would like it to. Acceptance is agreeing with how reality looks and deciding what we do with the reality as it exists.
Great timing, just when I found my entp🥰
How's it goin', champion? Just wanted to drop by and give you a fair dinkum thumbs up for the awesome job you're doing with your RUclips videos. I came across your channel this week, and I reckon it's top-notch. I'm having a ripper time visiting your channel and getting hooked on your brilliant content. Can't wait to see more of your stellar work, mate. Have a bonza week and keep being a legend!
Much appreciated
I aspire to be on this man’s level 🔥
These are relations of an unstable psychological distance. Both partners experience difficulties in establishing and keeping a stable psychological distance between them. The only chance Contrary partners have to get on together well with each other is if they are left alone. In other cases partners usually compete over their strong sides. The reason for this is when somebody else is present, each partner tries to capture the attention of the listener by showing off their strong side. Contrary partners may like some elements of the other partner's behaviour. This often helps the partners to begin a more close relationship. However, when they are in company, their interaction can change dramatically. The introvertpartner usually becomes distant, relations lose warm feelings and become formal and cautious. Both partners may start regretting that they became too trustful
The extrovert partner normally gets the false impression that the introvert partner is deliberately acting against them. This can bring a great deal of misunderstanding and surprise into these relations, as both partners are convinced that before everything was fine. The introvert partner usually starts suppressing the activity of the extrovert partner and may reproach and criticise them. The extrovert partner in return can behave in the same way.
The most vulnerable position in these relations belongs to the extrovert partner, who may feel as if they are being betrayed. As a result the extrovert partner could start to worry excessively about their next step so as not to make any mistakes and may therefore become very suspicious. Unfortunately the extrovert partner cannot see that their introvert partner is not as bad as they have begun to imagine.
These pairings are best for TALKING. One on one only. Marriages become platonic after a while due to different erotic styles. Great for therapy bad for relationships
such a great one thank you
I do not consider dating men that are not intuitive, long term. Bad thing? 🤷🏼♀️
I get motorcycle rides from ISTP'S. I love them. They create experiences and tie me up.. the right way.😂 👌
1:39 bgm is awesome. U should add like these more
Note to self:
Watch season 4,6,13,31 - in order.
The world has been set up for destruction and this is how it works. Fast grieving process and quick acceptance = contrast that brings up cognitive dissonance. One side of the relationship should never take responsibility for the whole relationship. It does not lift anybody up to the level of love, unless someone understands what is when the contrast is not.
ENTP here and INTJ is very attracted to me too. I really like that. Also as an ENTP i like a relaxed dynamic in a relationship. ISFPs are a wild card. Our Ne dom is the ISFPs blind function which leads to clashes which leads to a not so relaxed dynamic. I think ill stick to my INTJ chick
could you share more about the war you mentioned.
Please Chase, how to deal with my ISTJ father with his pride ?
He's brillant and loyal (man for the job) but have been unwanted by his family, friends and clients because he's unable to be humble.
Mr Justifications lacks of integrity, he gives absolution for himself before even recognize proprely his wrongdoings.
Maybe because for him, admitting his failures will make him undesireable ?
How to make him out of this stupid loop ?
Thanks you, I love ur job.
Yes that is his fear
Expose him.
First privately, but blackmail him you'll probably doing it in public.
@@CSJoseph thanks Chase
@@honor9lite1337 thks for ur suggestion but some people already did that, in vain.
An other approch : he asked me to read the Bible and in exchange, everytime we meet to discuss about it, Ill ask him to tell me his most "valuable" mistakes/moments when he was helped or corrected by somebody in his life.
Will be hard for him but thats the way out his delusion.
It will be my last try i think
Dealing with uf is really hard
Either pass the time till you leave the house
Or make him wanted over and over
Both take patience so ...
Where I live marijuana is legal; and believe that it shouldn’t be criminalized.
Wow! With this video, you are taking us women back 350 years.
@sylviaowega3839 What is your opinion on the Zac Roedde book he recommends?
@@Greg-lw4zbI do not agree with his opinions on the fixed gender roles, but of course it doesn’t mean thar I will not listen to his opinions. Now at the same token, I do not agree with the man-having feminists and fear mongering among them. It is best to look at the issue with gender with a balanced and detached perspective. In addition much of these pro-male and newfound patriarchal movements is a reactionary against this whole transgender madness that has been going on, so we both have to learn to not overreact and not push the pendulum to sway too, too much the other way.
She isn’t going to read those books.
@@CSJoseph Yeah... I was setting her up to look silly, to be honest. I'm really tired of INTP assumptions. They can be so brilliant if they bother to consider other angles and adopt an attitude of intellectual humility, but too often, they are so closed that they become bizarrely ignorant. It's so wasteful.
@@CSJosephThat is an assumption on your part. In order for us to learn and grow, we must listen to individuals and read books of differing opinions as I have. Now I will invite you to read the books that will enable to reach the path enlightenment (some contemporary, some older):
1. “Wake Up” by Sam Harris (an ENTP like yourself)
2. “Ethics” by Spinoza (INTP)
3. “Theological-Political Treatise by Spinoza.
4. “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins (INTP)
5. “Behave: The Biology of Humans of our Best and Worst” by Robert Sapolsky (ENTP)
6. “Enlightenment Now” by Steven Pinker (another ENTP!)
Read, listen and learn with an open mind, and they’ll do great just to your Ti parent.
I suspect that the cigar used for keeping track of time when recording. Doesn’t that environment get to your Si inferior or are you actively being brave despite all of the pukes and potential violence? 😂 (and simultaneously keeping focus on the topic/video that is being recorded, receiving examples on what you are saying about society’s problems in real time).
What do you think about intp-enfj pair? Is there any point in engaging in such a relationship? As far as I understand myself, I should be a UD/SF type; although I've managed to develop Fi so well that I don't know if I'm rather developing my super-ego.
I'm asking because I have a problem with attracting too many enfj women - they're showing a lot of interest in my person, but I'm afraid they're viewing me as an some infp (it's quite funny, whenever they seem to be confused when I'm not exactly the person they thought I'm).
I'm not gonna lie: I have a problem with their horribld and overly ethically oriented perspective, but since I'm still developing Fi, maybe there is some sense?
Maybe there are some enfj people here paired with some intp: how is your relationship going?
Season 14 part 2 has the answer, csjoseph.life/members
I have an INTP boyfriend and we’ve been together for two years.
It is an amazing relationship but very humbling tbh. This is a relationship with the highest sexual compatibility and lowest emotional compatibility.
The physical connection is insane and addictive. It increases overtime and you can’t get enough of it.
But when it comes to the emotional needs, you really have to bend down the knee for the other person.
This means an ENFJ has to give the majority of gratitude and priority even if Fe inferior doesn’t deserve it at times. An INTP has to give the majority of listening and input even if Ti inferior is incorrect.
It is very hard but I have done it in my relationship and it works. Overtime both partners start providing the listening and appreciation at the same time.
@@JR-ow8xg Yea, you only confirmed my conclusion. I have enfj friend, and I really appreciate the relationship, but I just can't stand the fact that he like others Ti inferior type just are not able to listen sometimes and don't even seem to care when they don't make sense, because what's important is what they belive to be true by their thinking. What's worse I'd say is their capacity to be too helpful to the point of demanding to take their advice - again what they belive -, because they know batter what I need (even if you prove them wrong, they won't listen).
And even worse I'd say is that, they care more about how I feel than what I think, and sometimes it happens that they'll project an infp on me and treat me like Fi hero delusional believer in ideas that I share + are trying to read my mood, whith which I feel uncomfortable.
Nope, maybe there is sexual compatibility, but I just can't live without being satysfied with my other needs.
Btw. sorry for my Fi blabla everything's bad perspective, but I just had not a great day, that just kicked me back inside my bitter side (and for my eanglish, but I couldn't care about correctness)
Thank you!
@@Heanesy Don’t worry I understand your perspective and I don’t find it negative at all. I find it rather accurate and realistic.
Pedagogue relationships are not for everyone. Personally, I have grow emotionally because of it. My boyf doesn’t let me get an idea just because, and he challenges me to informed myself correctly about things. I am not a regular ENFJ preacher- I know what’s right- follow my lead- because of that constant challenge. But you need a humble ENFJ for this.
I hope you can find the right partner for you :)
Ps. Just a quick comment, Fi demon is also very irritating, like please let me make you happy 😑 and stop self-sabotaging your life! and yes, you’re worth it.
@@JR-ow8xg Can you tell me more about this self sabotaging?
Well, I let people make me happy, besides today I have really nice relationships with my Fi, but It happen, that I get overload and turn into a little bit more chilly person. I can say that I proceed to bacame councious of my emotions and really liked them - that's why I asked this question to begin with. Maybe I'll give it a try if I'll find this humble enfj.
Also thank you for engaging.
why is it hard to get into a relationship with your natural pair?
critic and parent function test
if you don't mind, please could you explain@@qasimimtiaz9668
enforced social stereotypes creating gate keeping
I think you'd have much better chances filming at day time somewhere like a park. More sober people, i think you'd get more contestants out there in general.
Ask permission to share next time, that is more feminine.
@@CSJoseph Isn't it the case that both men and women have an element of the opposite sex? Not the suppression of these elements, but integration should be the goal? With regard to individuation.
I think you may be a little too extreme about these concepts. It's a bit like telling someone not to show the characteristics of their unconscious, because their main one is the one in the ego.
Does C S Joseph have content on the golden pair relationship INFJ and ENFP? And any specifically on INFJ male and ENFP female relationship? Curious how this relationship would play out at any stage in a relationship. He said I can find some stuff in season 14.
Yes I do, csjoseph.life/portal then buy the Discover the 16 types membership access
@@CSJoseph👍Got it and became a member. Thanks for the help. Though where is the best place for me to comment or ask questions about stuff in your portal videos? Is there comment sections for those podcasts? Just trying to navigate all your content.
Socionics shows Golden Pair relationships work well with Sensors (Mirror relationship) but not intuitives (Relationship of Extinguishment.)
The reason for this discrepancy is the mbti introverted sensing cognitive stack error. Which is not Chase's fault.
------------------------------------------
Socionics shows
Mbti-ISTJ "Inspector" (Incorrectly defined SiTe) = ISTj = LSI "Inspector" = Correctly defined TiSe = Ti structure logic enforced in the Se environment. IE ISTJ red tape.
Mbti-ISFJ (Incorrectly defined SiFe) = ISFj = ESI = Correctly defined FiSe = Fi values enforced in the Se environment.
Mbti-ISTP "Craftsman" (Incorrectly defined TiSe) = ISTp = SLI (SiTe) "Craftsman" = Si Sensory Te pragmatism.
Mbti-ISFP (Incorrectly defined FiSe) = ISFp = SEI (SiFe) = Si Sensory Fe mood.
So… would golden pairs between intuitors still work? Like, for example, IEI and IEE.
Now I have seen several successful pedagogue relationships with my type. I know several INTP men whom have been married to either ESFJ, or ISFJ woman and have had very happy and successful marriages.
My parents are INTP (m) and ISFJ (f) and my dad initiated the relationship
@@lalim499Yes of course, as it was expected and a rigid social norm that men and women are forced to follow. Naturally, if the man and the man are both introverted, the INTP being the male will initiate the relationship as Western society expects him to do do. Now the same goes with my case, me being an INTP woman was asked out by my INTJ hubby. Now, when it came to my timid and introverted ISTP older bother, he winded up getting courted and even proposed my his extroverted ESFP wife, and guess what? After 30 years they are still married! Imagine that!?
Intp pedagogue is enfj
Maybe they cheated, you don't know
XSFJ just won't work out. Too much conflict
Is it true that golden pairs = easy to get into, hard to maintain and refinement pairs = hard to get into, easy to maintain?
no is hard to maintain
I am not sure, I will think on that.
@@CSJoseph isfjs thsn esfjs are little bit more easier to befriend as a intj in my opinion due to same temple
There's no such thing as "easy to maintain" type of relationship.
@@honor9lite1337 your right… monogamy is a lie lol
LOL! Un-pairable INTJ woman here! ❣️
Good times
I am ISTJ
I am already surrounded by ESTP, ESFP and ENFP so does that will help my development of Ne Function?
ENFP is good one.
try hanging around with infjs?
30:35 k this is going off the rails - time attention and resources don’t obligate women to do anything - stalkers would agree with you though - if a woman doesn’t reciprocate, how about not spending time attention and resources 🤯
42:05 you are way too excited about women having no agency or justice - take responsibility for your own bad choices in women
esfj men who work as police officers or firemen are very masculine in my opinion
So, is it because of the type potentiality or because the role and condition they are in?
@@honor9lite1337they learn leadership skills
they still have feminine behaviors
@@nemesis27 being too masculine is a turn off to most women.
@@qasimimtiaz9668thats because over masculinity is just an over compensation to masculinity. If he feels he has to swing his ego around, thats because he is fragile
You ACTUALLY do not have “the truth” pinned down. You’re human, super man 😜🤩😗
Maybe, but I am closer to it than anyone else. I am happy to be corrected for obvious reasons
thank you for this. but the istj(me) didnt find an estp yet. so its not easy ig
@galaxydoxx4326 If you spend 20-30 hours watching back-and-forth interviews with 5-6 different celebrity ESTPs, you will start to notice the overlap that is consistent to the ESTP, and then can spot it easily in public. Chase has a nice list of typed celebrities on his site; that's what I use.
Don't give up! My ESTP daughter finds her ISTJs. She is still young, but she definitely has stated she is only marrying a STJ. I am an ESTJ marrying an ISTP in two weeks. Great pairings!
Sounds like too much work
Let's just not end with golden pairs 🤝
ENTJ male + INTP female might work. INTP male + ENTJ female sounds impossible. Male Ti-Ne would find female Te-Ni to be an Immediate turnoff.
Maybe you, not me
What are the natural pairs
Whoops having Si Child, I didn't realise taking attention from men in that way was inadvertently leading them on. Oh dang!!
1 quick feedback, when you mention natural pairs I think you refer to duality pair in socionic? Then it might benefit the viewer to mention ESFJ and INTP because many people follow the MBTI system more (even though INTP is labeled as INTJ in socionics and vice versa).
I already stated this many times
What would an INTJ-ISTP relationship be ?
"Hell" was how he described it. He even stated that it was probably a mistype bcs those two wouldnt end up together in the first place.
I cant recall the episode he answered this question tho but I remember his answer.
@@johnsmith26185 Interesting because I am an INTJ and my husband of 15 years is an ISTP. I have watched extensively the videos where he dives into the cognitive functions and the descriptions fit us SO well. All the examples he gives are definitely us. I have even ran those through family and they said "yes, it's you both". I tried to look the other types and they were so off from what we are. Don't know but we work. Did we have to adjust and did we have some problems in the beginning ? yes. But both being so rational we saw the value in what we both bring to the table and worked it out and focused on our strengths rather than our differences.. It's been peaceful after the initial bumps. We are however VERY healthy individuals with little to no trauma and parents who have been together 50-60 years so not sure if that helped. We compromise. Our home is very stable.
I have a question Mr Chase , you said woman should be on her femninity with her man , but what about interecting with other men and women ?
That answer is given in our men’s and women’s groups on Discord
So uduf goes with sdsf not uduf ?
Uduf goes with uduf
@@denzelwashington3596 but he said the intj should have been sf ?
@@malakashraf2801 no he said that due to her being sduf all she cared about was popularity(probably through being vainglorious) but a udsf will be a more humble woman that will not compete with him on his cognitive origins
Chase has already said that on a golden pair, SD/SF should go with SD/SF and UD/UF with UD/UF to prevent cognitive origins from competing. The problem was that an SD/UF intj is has egotism (SD) combined with vainglory (UF) which end up creating a similar problem for his own reverence, and in this case impeding her femininity. Humbleness is very feminine so it makes sense that SF would be preferable. Moreover, A UD/UF entp and an SD/UF intj both have two parts reverence and one part satisfaction, so, the origin competition is very directly present.
Also he's said the octogram rules for golden pair don't always apply to other pairs.
26:47 Its Robert Downey Jr.
Could have been a 10 minute video in a bedroom lol
Don’t tempt me
Do explicit things to me ~
Yes
@@CSJoseph Mmm.
Now although you are eight that the woman decreases her value with body count, that it is absolute BS that she decreases her value with a college degree.
Look up the census bureau stats. It’s accurate to right now. Maybe not in your day, but it is now
Can't help but wonder if Chase is the prophet Elijah. Debatable.
I am just a man who follows God’s lead.
your not leaving out the part of information that made these feminine women be abused right? it might look like vanity but we are protecting ourselves from emotional pain and abuse that was our reality for years, maybe divorce initiated by women was necessary and sorry it ruins your perceived home, but it takes two to make or break a relationship
Have you considered going to the Philippines to find a wife? Hahaha
Already was married to a Filipina
@@CSJoseph hmm interesting
They don’t work. Just ask Johnny Depp + Amber Heard , Will + Jada
2 bad examples against thousands positive average people ones.
@@FFakiha agree
hollywood is fake
Ti does not like Te, Fi does not like Fe, whole golden pair theory goes down the drain.
Do you have any evidence to back that satetment?
I have noticed that it does cause some issues as well
having the same judgement functions in a relationship is stressful and smothering and repetitive
Recal for my forgetful ahh:
Golden duo - Easy to get into hard to maintain… highest highs lowest lows🤥 full octagram match?(cognitive development) If not -> destruction…oo risky
Silver/pdg duo- hard to get into easy to maintain¿