Thank you for making this video. It's a important topic and probably therapeutic for you and for everybody with this type of unfortunate family trauma. I'm so sorry that you and your kids had/has to deal with all of this. I wouldn't wish it on anybody and especially not kind hearted people like you seem to be. I have some of the same family trauma issues with differences. I was ignored or guilt tripped or shamed for my needs when they were uncomfortable or not fitting into the parents lives. After working with myself I can see that they never did it to be mean or cruel. It was just to much for them, upset or distracted them from what they rather wanted to do. I was also expected to take care of them in their old age, why I ave no answer to. I live in scandinavia were we have a lots of health care. They didn't care for their own parents in old age but they sure expected me to with no thought of my wants and needs, again. OR that I been struggling with both physical, emotional and psychological issues my whole life. I'm not able to work and provide for my own life so how would I be able to care for a elderly parent? Because they don't think things true or think about what that would look like for either party or together. I finally had to go no contact with my parents, not because I don't love or care about them but to be able to learn about myself without their influencing me. I learned that most people don't like change, at least change that they can't or are not allowed to affect. I will never understand how it can be so scary or annoying for self centered/immature individuals to see people they love learning to be better of stating their needs and boundaries. Negotiate conditions of terms. I'm annoyed that I learned that I had to be the parent to my parents to be seened, appreciated and how it made me a target for selfish people to take advantage of and me blind to why that kept on happening my whole life. And then being asked, critiqued and even ridiculed for it happening to me over and over again. It's good to finally see the pattern, the core wounds, good but painful, shameful but finally answers. Even if the answers is painful it's better than being in a fog with no directions. It was really painful for me to listen to this video because it triggered so much of my own issues and It was "good" ( in lack of a better word) to hear it told so honest and rational. It's not about blaming but speaking on how it affected a family, a life and the importance of breaking toxic family cycles. I send all my love and best wishes to you and your kids. Tank you for sharing.
Thank you for your best wishes, and thank you for telling your story. I'm sorry that things were so difficult for you, too. In the next video, I'll be talking a bit about the pattern of children struggling with taking care of their parents and also taking care of themselves, how common it is for adult children who struggle are also expected to care for their parents. And reading that your parents expected you to care for them despite available healthcare really shows that it's not about what's available, it's about the family patterns. I hope you're doing better now, I'm glad that my video helped a bit, despite it being painful, and thank you very much for listening.
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Thank you for making this video. It's a important topic and probably therapeutic for you and for everybody with this type of unfortunate family trauma. I'm so sorry that you and your kids had/has to deal with all of this. I wouldn't wish it on anybody and especially not kind hearted people like you seem to be.
I have some of the same family trauma issues with differences. I was ignored or guilt tripped or shamed for my needs when they were uncomfortable or not fitting into the parents lives. After working with myself I can see that they never did it to be mean or cruel. It was just to much for them, upset or distracted them from what they rather wanted to do.
I was also expected to take care of them in their old age, why I ave no answer to. I live in scandinavia were we have a lots of health care. They didn't care for their own parents in old age but they sure expected me to with no thought of my wants and needs, again. OR that I been struggling with both physical, emotional and psychological issues my whole life. I'm not able to work and provide for my own life so how would I be able to care for a elderly parent? Because they don't think things true or think about what that would look like for either party or together.
I finally had to go no contact with my parents, not because I don't love or care about them but to be able to learn about myself without their influencing me.
I learned that most people don't like change, at least change that they can't or are not allowed to affect. I will never understand how it can be so scary or annoying for self centered/immature individuals to see people they love learning to be better of stating their needs and boundaries. Negotiate conditions of terms. I'm annoyed that I learned that I had to be the parent to my parents to be seened, appreciated and how it made me a target for selfish people to take advantage of and me blind to why that kept on happening my whole life. And then being asked, critiqued and even ridiculed for it happening to me over and over again.
It's good to finally see the pattern, the core wounds, good but painful, shameful but finally answers. Even if the answers is painful it's better than being in a fog with no directions.
It was really painful for me to listen to this video because it triggered so much of my own issues and It was "good" ( in lack of a better word) to hear it told so honest and rational. It's not about blaming but speaking on how it affected a family, a life and the importance of breaking toxic family cycles.
I send all my love and best wishes to you and your kids. Tank you for sharing.
Thank you for your best wishes, and thank you for telling your story. I'm sorry that things were so difficult for you, too. In the next video, I'll be talking a bit about the pattern of children struggling with taking care of their parents and also taking care of themselves, how common it is for adult children who struggle are also expected to care for their parents. And reading that your parents expected you to care for them despite available healthcare really shows that it's not about what's available, it's about the family patterns.
I hope you're doing better now, I'm glad that my video helped a bit, despite it being painful, and thank you very much for listening.