"How do I ASK for what I need?" - AKA ep. 146
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 11 янв 2023
- This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why it can be hard for us to communicate our needs in therapy, and how we can heal from sexual abuse when we can’t cut our abusers off. She also talks about passive self injury, what to do when we have trouble accepting a new diagnosis, and dodging eye contact in therapy. This and so much more in this week’s episode!
Ask Kati Anything ep. 146 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Audience questions:
1. Why is it when my therapist asks me what I need during moments in session, it is as if every option, idea or logic leaves my brain and all I can say is ‘I don’t know’. I’m starting to annoy myself with that answer...
2. This isn’t really a question, but I wanted to ask, if it’s possible, for you to maybe try and do some more videos on sexual abuse( siblings/family members) the trauma, and how to move forward when you don’t really have an option for them to not be...
3. Every time i feel stressed/angry/ embarrassed the first thing i do is that i dig my nails into my hand (my skin) to the point that my hand would turn to red and the marks would stay from the morning till the night.. I don't...
4. How do you accept the fact of when you get told/diagnosed something, such as having trauma or anxiety. I have such an issue playing it off like it hasn't really happened...
5. Have you ever played "dodge eye contact" with a client before? Whenever I have in person sessions with my therapist I've noticed that it isn't just me. She seemingly has her own awkward moments with eye contact. I'll look at her and...
6. I’m very embarrassed about what I'm doing. I was raped by my brother years ago (had a freeze response) and sexually abused by an extended family member when i was 6/7..I HATE everything about any sexual interaction
7. Please can you talk about recovery from narcissistic abuse, including PTSD symptoms, cognitive dissonance, gaslighting, guilting etc? Specifically talking about steps to recovery would...
8. Hi Kati, during this past week I’ve found myself getting unreasonably annoyed when others (especially family and extended family members) have been sick and it’s definitely not the first time this happens… It wouldn’t be the same if it would...
9. I’ve always had a hard time being vulnerable although for others I’m very soft and understand their deep emotions…since being in therapy I’ve thankfully learnt to be more emotional for myself and express my vulnerability. My question is about going into the real world. I’m sometimes afraid that I’m over-sharing now...
#podcast #psychology #katimorton
Journaling
Every Tuesday & Friday Kati posts a journal prompt to help keep you motivated and working on yourself ruclips.net/user/katimortonjoin
Kati's Books (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
Amazon Suggestions
www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton
Online Therapy
I do not currently offer online therapy. My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: betterhelp.com/kati
Patreon
Do you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? www.katimorton.com/kati-morto...
Business Contact
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
Mail
1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B
Box #353 Austin, TX 78728
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room 
Развлечения
![Life with ME // ft. DissociaDID [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jBOVl68jLCw/mqdefault.jpg)
Good Morning everyone!
@katimorton. hello good morning to you Kati and afternoon for me in uk so good to see you again and as always listening to your soft calming Voice hope your New year's going well for you so far I appreciate you so much for these AKA podcast s you always help to calm my mind I only get therapy calls from my therapist every Monday and Inbetween I love listening and watching you ❤️❤️
Hi Kati! Hope you're doing great. I have severe trouble with making decisions because even after lots of research, I often make a bad choice. I'm torn on if this means I'm not putting enough time and research into it, or there's some other issue?
Timestamps:
Question 1: 0:33
Question 2: 10:29
Question 3: 25:23
Question 4: 28:50
Question 5: 37:57
Question 6: 41:39
Question 7: 47:25
Question 8: 1:00:06
Question 9: 1:10:59
thank you!
This episode has been challenging but really helpful to listen because it hits on a couple of things I've been reflecting on my own, so thank you Kati and thanks to all the brave people who asked the questions
AKA & OTDM. I am happy to be here in the comments again and seeing Kati and listening to everyone s questions and all the important careing surportive answers Kati answers to everyone s questions I'll not stop trying get my question noticed I hope everyone s mangeing with there mental health the best they can and people are getting the help and support they need ❤️🙏❤️
Always look forward to the podcast on Thursday ♥️
Thank you for your podcasts Kati ❤
In your podcast you answered a question from a German who asked 'for insurance, they need a diagnosis'. I'm from The Netherlands, and there is a similar system. My therapist told me something like 'The insurance company needs a diagnosis. I'm not thinking you have generalized anxiety, but I think it is the most suitable for your symptoms. Is it oke if I mention this diagnosis to the insurance company?'.
So that is also a possibility.
But I would start the conversation if I were you! To discuss if the diagnosis you've read is indeed the diagnosis she thinks fits you.
Thank you so much for answering my add on about having been given so many labels over the years. That was usually in adult acute ip settings and the psychiatrists did not answer when I asked for explanations/ clarifications.
I'm just tired of feeling like I'm begging people for their time.
I don't know what love or basic friendship is supposed to look/feel like.
It's very rare to hear from and just as rare to hear back from.
You're busy. I get it.
Just be honest with me
Yes I experience this feeling too & it's so hard! But I also see in hindsight how this limiting belief holds me back and maybe even makes me push people away. Idk if your situation is the same or not.
Happy New Year to you :) 🪴🤠♥️
How do differentiate between what I need and what I want?
A little confusing.
I can really understand and relate to question 3 but not exactly the same thing instead of digging my nails into my skin though stress and very low mood or feeling angry. I'll bite my nails and fingers chewing at my skin I also scratch my toes and pick at toe nails and I pull my hair sometimes scratch my head and make it bleed sometimes scratch my arms too .These are the things I do 😥
What if you can't ask people for what you want because when you have & they turn you down for a legitimate reason you feel rejected & stupid for asking? What if it's because some people start getting defensive & twist things around like you're saying something bad about them? What if it's because some people shut down or don't say much so you're left trying to interpret that or worried you messed things up by asking for anything. There are so many little random things like that that stop me from asking. It's hard to get past it.
yep
The first question is really interesting. I was wondering why it is not advised for people with cPTSD to get regular reassurance from others? What strategies are recommended instead to deal with situations one is unsure of (would like to get reassurance for)?
can also understand and relate to some of question 4 because Im like that too I find it hard to accept when I get Diagnosis about things 😥
I have a hard time being assertive with people who politely 'bulldoze' over me. They aren't mean at all, but don't listen to what I need from them (make a list for someone at work I supervise, but they just do what they want often totally different than my list, same with a contractor I recently hired in personal life). In the past when I have been assertive/not aggressive I've been treated badly for it so it's really hard now. Any advice?
One of the biggest reasons to create options for yourself, whether you exercise them or not, is that it removes the mental barrier of victimhood. That’s one of the ugly dynamics of abuse - the abuser is able to convince the victim that they have nowhere else to go, so they may as well submit to the abuse. The victim can even begin to form a perverse sort of comfort from that. It lets us put all the blame on the other person, and we get to claim powerlessness. Also known as avoiding responsibility. Sounds harsh but it is very true nonetheless. Empowerment is not always pleasant.
It’s not your fault that you are being abused. But more than for anyone else it is your responsibility to take care of yourself. If you are waiting for the abuser to decide to stop, it probably never will. I like to think of responsibility in terms of “able to respond” or “response-able” and set aside notions of guilt or blame or fault. Whoever is able to act needs to take charge. And who is more “able to respond” than you?
Obviously, this is not relevant for children or others who literally don’t have physical or mental autonomy or competence. They truly are victims.
If it's something that I need for different reasons, is it ok to ask for help for someone else?
I can't figure out where exactly we go to ask a question for the following week? Is it here? Or is this just for comments about the podcast for #146?
Time stamps anyone???
Trigger warning - sexual abuse
Thank you! Too late for me but I do wish that'd be considered
that definitely helps.
more like WHO do i ask for help... i live in canada, i have cptsd after escaping abuse and live with my trans ex, who we both dont have families. we didnt get pandemic relief, inflation relief, rent relief.. welfare turned me away because i had a partner. we got kicked out of parking by a transphobe and have to pay $100 more a month now.
meanwhile, the gov't is giving MAiD (medical assistance in dying / euthanasia) to people saying "i dont want to die" because they can't improve their health due to POVERTY! 😓😢