Well said Fumi. No one could ever convince me to live with a man indefinitely. If you give him everything without being married, what is there to get married for? You move into his house, spending your hard earned money making his house into a beautiful home. Down the line, things don't work out and he tells you to leave. You do not have a leg to stand one because 'common law' does not have any rights. Protect your investment and protect your mind. Love you all....x
Well said sis Fumi, agree 💯. If the man loves you and respects you he will marry you, no need to move in before you say “I do”. No trial period either! Just don’t do it!
Love it. Get married first. I lived with my husband for 6 months before we married, but I would not recommend that for anyone else. We are still married 30 years later, but this is an anomaly and not the norm. Don’t give a man the privileges of a wife if he doesn’t respect you enough to make you one first.
I’m a free spirit and lived without marriage for 8 years with my mate and we end up going our separate ways. It was very hard in the beginning of separating because we wanted commitment and doing our own thing. I’ve learned that you cannot have it both ways. If your heart wants a commitment, wait until marriage otherwise your bond will be so unhealthy that you may not recover the damage that done to your soul.
I feel like once you move in with your boyfriend, it becomes difficult to move out even when things don’t work out. Mainly because people move in together for financial reasons (saving money on rent by sharing rent with a roommate instead of renting alone).
Not forgetting cases where you end up having a baby and the man dies few years down the road and his family throws you out with nothing and refuses to recognise that baby as their own. Be careful, ladies.
I've been with my husband for 40 years in April. We lived together before we got married. We've been married for 37 years in August. He's the same since I met him. Our situation is rare. This worked out for us. I would not recommend it. My father kicked me out of the house for dating a man much older than me. I didn't have a choice. That wonderful man invited both of my parents' to dinner. My father declined. My mother accepted. He explained himself to her. She was okay with it. She wasn't jumping for joy, but I was old enough to make my own decisions.
I finally got my healthy hair studio products here in Dubai!!! I’m so excited. And guess WHAT??? I got the stamp as well. I will come back here with a review in 6 months! ❤❤❤
Well my man friend says he will marry but when but still, he wants me to be a domestic partner to live with him, but this year, I am doing me and leaving him to live my life single again been married before and divorce
Fumi you are speaking facts, my friends who have lived with men have no ring or marriage though they want it. One has waited 7 years and the guy needs her for half the bills, the other almost 5 years. It couldn’t and will not be me. Cooking, cleaning, auditioning as a ‘wife’ and going 50/50 for nothing.
💯 Fumi, I am so glad you are talking about this. I have spoken to so many people about this. I have spoken to men and women about this very topic. Personally, to me, it's only a win for the men. Why would a woman want to play house. Even when I was a young woman, it would have been disrespectful for a man to ask me to live with him. If I can not be a wife to a man, I can not be a roommate with benefits because that's what you will be. In fact, I was just talking to one of my best friends about women wanting to live with these men because they are afraid to lose them. Let them go until your husband comes ask God to send you the man that truly loves you. I just want the young women to know there's no winning in this situation.
Both must have the same goals, reasons for moving in together. If not animosity will happen. Women usually think it leads to marriage and maybe the man needs a place to stay and share or pay no bills. Or, he wants friends with benefits with no plan of marrying. I asked my diverse group of college students this question. Majority of the time the Men and Women gave different answers. 🤔. As Mr. Rogers the children's television host said years ago when people are trying to make a decision " the answer will be a Yes or No". So phrases like we'll see what happens, we'll get married one day or when/if you do something, or when I get myself together or any other phrases that is not a Yes, consider the answer to be a No and make your decision accordingly. Far too many women who have moved in, cared for, had children with and given All the benefits of a marriage to a man, have waited for years for him to marry her, selling her hopes and dreams along the way. So, make sure both partners want the same thing while deciding whether to live together. Which is also what research says to do.
Obviously there's exceptions and you have made some valid points however, you are still putting yourself at a disadvantage because women have a more urgent biological clock, whilst men do not feel/have the same pressure! So they have an unfair advantage, therefore the risk of moving in with a man is just NOT worth it! It will either lead you into getting a shut-up ring/marriage (who wants that??) or a prolonged relationship that does not lead into the marriage you BOTH envisioned at the start of the cohabitation!
I m happily married to a chinese who i met on tinder.i m Zambian i moved in together w after dating for 2 months we later got married 8 months we have been married for 7 years with 2 beautiful children. There isnt one way to marry persons will be different. If its meant for its meant for you .
Fumi Fumi Fumi. I received my healthy hair products recently and what you didn't prepare me for was the smell of the products. I love the smell of the Mighty Moisture and the complex layer of the added Moisiture Hold is wonderful. The smell reminds me of a spa or a Tom Ford cologne. The scents would make great candles. By the way we are the same age and I love watching you because I am often sitting at home saying yes ma'am-you handled that like a champ!!! I'm usually in agreement with you 90% of the time. Love that denim shirt!!! See you sooner than later 🙂
There no gains, you just end up being used and not getting any solid committment IMO, but there exceptions to every rule, i choose to be married first and it will happen by the grace of God.
Yes , 2025 is time to shame baby mama culture and moving in without getting married . Ladies stop auditioning for wife’s, I find quite ridiculous when a couple only gets married after 8 years of living together, what’s even the point of marrying after that long .
Sound advice, auntie Fumi. Could you please share your opinion on whether or not to have a prenuptial agreement? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I read about a young women who moved into the home her boyfriend bought, did a lot of the renovations and interior design, then her broke up with her and married the next girl. She got none of that investment back. Absolutely not.
I moved in with my most serious boyfriend when I was about to turn 24. We had been dating for just under two years at that time. Things were good for a while but after 4 months, his true self was revealed (entertaining other women, getting physical; initially him but then eventually on both ends,arguing). I did not have the courage to admit to my sister (the first person I told) what was going on until he broke up with me out of the blue about 5 months later. I did not waste any time -- my parents and bro-in-law came to help me move out. I do not regret the experience as I grew in several different ways because of it. But now that I am in my late 30s, I will not move in again with any man until I marry.
Hello Fumi, always lovely hearing your wisdom. I just saw the new season of RH of Lagos coming up and was wondering if you're planning to review it? You're my favourite reviewer of the show.
Some of y’all for to be under 30!!!The culture is running yall’…. These men are loving these no standards and running through women. Where are the daddies ? If you didn’t have a relationship with one you have a father in heaven!’ No your worth and value!!
FUMI, THE CURRENT GENERATION FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW THEM BETTER YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH them/ SPEND MORE TIME AROUND THEM SIX months TO ONE YEAR OF LIVING TOGETHER IS ENOUGH TO KNOW SOMEONE. YOU WILL SEE ALL THE RAINBOW COLORS IN THEM AND FROM THEIR YOU CAN DECIDE for YOURSELF. CURRENT GENERATION ARE WAY DIFFERENT FROM YOUR GENERATION(FUMI). HOW COMES PEOPLE DATE FOR SEVEN YEAR AND ONCE THEY GET IN MARRIAGE IT only last for two to three years. In most cases you will find that the two who are involved in relationship were only seeing each other on weekends or twice a week within that span of seven years of dating.
Who raised you and is still here? A marriage is also about 2 families coming together, that's the point in asking the father, if there is no father the figure whoever else raised you. It should only apply if meaningful for your family dynamic.
My father passed long before I got married. That's what uncles are for! My uncle told me my boyfriend was a good choice. So I went ahead and married him. Because I knew my uncle was of the same mind/opinion as my Dad. Till this day, my uncle and my husband are tight. They are very similar, it turns out.
The answer to the question is ABSOLUTELY NOT. Don't move in with him even if he gives you a ring. I seen it happen. The woman moved her life around after getting a ring and got put out the house a month later. Another situation is she got a ring and had a baby, Turns out dude doesn't want to marry her and she doesn't know it yet. I don't know who in her family will tell her. I love the analogy about the plug really being pulled out already. You have to reason on it and protect yourself as much as possible. I remember seeing a hgtv show with house hunting and they wasn't married. The woman took on the mortgage under her name. I thought to myself what a bad decision. Like Fumi said there's some happy endings for a few who move in with each other before marriage, but there's not many examples that make it. Take care of you and if he wants you then he will do what's possible to earn your love. Allow yourself to be respected and not disrespected. This is another PSA
Congratulations on your engagement. 🎉 While being engaged is a big deal, it's still not the same as being married. Waiting to fully become His MRS is a more honourable and dignifiying way to go. At least, it pleases God, and that's the most important thing here. I wish you all the best, Sis.
Auntie fumi,I have seen you in my dreams two times now. In the dreams, I wear your clothes when you remove them. Last night I dreamt of where you performed in a big show. After the show, you changed into a casual outfit, and I quickly ran the table where you placed the clothes and dressed myself in those beautiful all gold color from top to down. After I showed off with the clothes, as I was going to drop at your place, your husband and a visitor in your house was angry, so I decided to confess to you myself, but you didn't care instead you gave me your phone to record you. Before God and man ,I was so happy in those dreams even though I don't understand the meaning. Please can anyone help me with the meaning? I love you auntie fumi and all fumi nation.
Everyone laughs at me when i say i don’t live with my bf . And im the one laughing at them . Your man gave you a baby and yall live together and he didn’t change your last name
No. Do not move in before marriage. Statistics are against it but if that is not convincing enough, here's another. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Yes! You are playing wife duties on a girlfriend budget and when your credit runs out, just know you cannot recoup your loan back.
“A man who loves you will marry you because he doesn’t want anyone else to marry you” word!!! 🙌👏❤️
Oh Fummi you spk to my soul 💕💕
Well said Fumi.
No one could ever convince me to live with a man indefinitely. If you give him everything without being married, what is there to get married for? You move into his house, spending your hard earned money making his house into a beautiful home. Down the line, things don't work out and he tells you to leave. You do not have a leg to stand one because 'common law' does not have any rights. Protect your investment and protect your mind. Love you all....x
Well said sis Fumi, agree 💯. If the man loves you and respects you he will marry you, no need to move in before you say “I do”. No trial period either! Just don’t do it!
Exactly 💯 "don't do what, you don't want your children to do"
Absolutely! I had to lay a good example for younger siblings & cousins too
Love it. Get married first. I lived with my husband for 6 months before we married, but I would not recommend that for anyone else. We are still married 30 years later, but this is an anomaly and not the norm. Don’t give a man the privileges of a wife if he doesn’t respect you enough to make you one first.
She speaks the truth on this matter. I thought fumi would compromise to fit in. 👏👏👏👏
Me too but she didn’t disappoint
A man that loves you will treat you according to the God you both serve! Thank you aunty Fumi ❤
💕This is very refreshing, old school common sense and sage advice. Thank you Fumi!❤
Lesson learnt, " Let him EARN you." WellSAID Fumi 👍 this is in alignment with God's will .🙏
Amen. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
I’m a free spirit and lived without marriage for 8 years with my mate and we end up going our separate ways. It was very hard in the beginning of separating because we wanted commitment and doing our own thing. I’ve learned that you cannot have it both ways. If your heart wants a commitment, wait until marriage otherwise your bond will be so unhealthy that you may not recover the damage that done to your soul.
I feel like once you move in with your boyfriend, it becomes difficult to move out even when things don’t work out. Mainly because people move in together for financial reasons (saving money on rent by sharing rent with a roommate instead of renting alone).
Hey Fumi, you neeeeeeed to start a podcast this is sooo rich and valuable
I agree would me fantastic she’s so full of wisdom
“Don’t play with your life” ❤
Say it again for the ladies in the back Fumi!!!!
Not forgetting cases where you end up having a baby and the man dies few years down the road and his family throws you out with nothing and refuses to recognise that baby as their own. Be careful, ladies.
I've been with my husband for 40 years in April. We lived together before we got married. We've been married for 37 years in August. He's the same since I met him. Our situation is rare. This worked out for us.
I would not recommend it. My father kicked me out of the house for dating a man much older than me. I didn't have a choice. That wonderful man invited both of my parents' to dinner. My father declined. My mother accepted. He explained himself to her. She was okay with it. She wasn't jumping for joy, but I was old enough to make my own decisions.
I finally got my healthy hair studio products here in Dubai!!! I’m so excited. And guess WHAT??? I got the stamp as well. I will come back here with a review in 6 months! ❤❤❤
Looking forward to it
Well my man friend says he will marry but when but still, he wants me to be a domestic partner to live with him, but this year, I am doing me and leaving him to live my life single again been married before and divorce
Fumi you are speaking facts, my friends who have lived with men have no ring or marriage though they want it. One has waited 7 years and the guy needs her for half the bills, the other almost 5 years. It couldn’t and will not be me. Cooking, cleaning, auditioning as a ‘wife’ and going 50/50 for nothing.
💯 Fumi, I am so glad you are talking about this. I have spoken to so many people about this. I have spoken to men and women about this very topic. Personally, to me, it's only a win for the men.
Why would a woman want to play house. Even when I was a young woman, it would have been disrespectful for a man to ask me to live with him. If I can not be a wife to a man, I can not be a roommate with benefits because that's what you will be. In fact, I was just talking to one of my best friends about women wanting to live with these men because they are afraid to lose them. Let them go until your husband comes ask God to send you the man that truly loves you.
I just want the young women to know there's no winning in this situation.
People do whatever want too do, FOR ME NO NO NO 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Both must have the same goals, reasons for moving in together. If not animosity will happen. Women usually think it leads to marriage and maybe the man needs a place to stay and share or pay no bills. Or, he wants friends with benefits with no plan of marrying. I asked my diverse group of college students this question. Majority of the time the Men and Women gave different answers. 🤔. As Mr. Rogers the children's television host said years ago when people are trying to make a decision " the answer will be a Yes or No". So phrases like we'll see what happens, we'll get married one day or when/if you do something, or when I get myself together or any other phrases that is not a Yes, consider the answer to be a No and make your decision accordingly. Far too many women who have moved in, cared for, had children with and given All the benefits of a marriage to a man, have waited for years for him to marry her, selling her hopes and dreams along the way. So, make sure both partners want the same thing while deciding whether to live together. Which is also what research says to do.
Obviously there's exceptions and you have made some valid points however, you are still putting yourself at a disadvantage because women have a more urgent biological clock, whilst men do not feel/have the same pressure! So they have an unfair advantage, therefore the risk of moving in with a man is just NOT worth it! It will either lead you into getting a shut-up ring/marriage (who wants that??) or a prolonged relationship that does not lead into the marriage you BOTH envisioned at the start of the cohabitation!
I m happily married to a chinese who i met on tinder.i m Zambian i moved in together w after dating for 2 months we later got married 8 months we have been married for 7 years with 2 beautiful children.
There isnt one way to marry persons will be different.
If its meant for its meant for you .
12:15 💯🙌🏾 that doorbell was on time lol... ding dong, hello! Receive this message ladies!
Fumi, you were well raised and that shines through all the time. Thank you for putting this out there.
Yessss! Preach it Auntie Fumi!💕
Well said ❤ you said it so sweetly, lovely and clearly
Fumi, your words and sincerity warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for always building us up!❤
Yes she’s such a giving passionate woman
Fumi, you always have such wise advice for the young and seasoned.❤😊
Great question! What are the wins???
Fumi always speaking facts!!!
Fumi Fumi Fumi. I received my healthy hair products recently and what you didn't prepare me for was the smell of the products. I love the smell of the Mighty Moisture and the complex layer of the added Moisiture Hold is wonderful. The smell reminds me of a spa or a Tom Ford cologne. The scents would make great candles. By the way we are the same age and I love watching you because I am often sitting at home saying yes ma'am-you handled that like a champ!!! I'm usually in agreement with you 90% of the time. Love that denim shirt!!! See you sooner than later 🙂
There no gains, you just end up being used and not getting any solid committment IMO, but there exceptions to every rule, i choose to be married first and it will happen by the grace of God.
Love that denim outfit! 🔥🔥❤❤
Yes 👍 wait to walk down the aisle first sis
lol … auntie Fumi , your laugh is so sweet and contagious 😆💖✨
Great advice, Fumi. Thank you❤
Yes , 2025 is time to shame baby mama culture and moving in without getting married .
Ladies stop auditioning for wife’s, I find quite ridiculous when a couple only gets married after 8 years of living together, what’s even the point of marrying after that long .
For mature couples who are engaged, I would say it depends on what your goals are towards planning the wedding. Maybe younger couples
Sound advice, auntie Fumi.
Could you please share your opinion on whether or not to have a prenuptial agreement? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
This episode brought me to tears 😢
I read about a young women who moved into the home her boyfriend bought, did a lot of the renovations and interior design, then her broke up with her and married the next girl. She got none of that investment back. Absolutely not.
Aw thank you Fumi I love this video your the best RUclipsr god bless to you 🙏🤗💖
I moved in with my most serious boyfriend when I was about to turn 24. We had been dating for just under two years at that time. Things were good for a while but after 4 months, his true self was revealed (entertaining other women, getting physical; initially him but then eventually on both ends,arguing). I did not have the courage to admit to my sister (the first person I told) what was going on until he broke up with me out of the blue about 5 months later. I did not waste any time -- my parents and bro-in-law came to help me move out.
I do not regret the experience as I grew in several different ways because of it. But now that I am in my late 30s, I will not move in again with any man until I marry.
Aunty Fumi would you ever try mini twists? Love the content and outfit!
You are gorgeous CC❤❤keep it going 😊😊
The Greece event is it only bussiness ladies that are to attend?
You absolutely can my love! I'll update that in tomorrow's episode! 😃
Very well said👌ladies do not move in yet.I am speaking from experience
Fumi you are so clear and so correct in your approach. God Bless…Much Love Your sister from India ❤
Well explained my dear Fumi❤
Fumi you are a wonderful and wise woman
Well said aunt Fumi; thank you always ❤❤❤
Trip looks fantastic 👌
I didn't know you were in the movie NORBIT!
Teach Mama Fumi. 🔥🔥🔥🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿💯💯💯🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Thank you Aunty Fumi ❤
Thanks Aunty Fumi❤
Hello Fumi, always lovely hearing your wisdom. I just saw the new season of RH of Lagos coming up and was wondering if you're planning to review it? You're my favourite reviewer of the show.
Happy New Year my love, YES! I'm looking forward to reviewing it. Hopefully it will air also in the UK. 🇬🇧
@FumiDesaluVold Yay! I cannot wait for your reviews and hope it shows in the UK 💖
Had my 2 children already, but I can't have any more cause I am menopausal
I love love your energy
Thank you Fumi❤
I think you should have your own places so you can get some space when needed until you are certain that you can't bare to be apart ☺
Some of y’all for to be under 30!!!The culture is running yall’…. These men are loving these no standards and running through women. Where are the daddies ? If you didn’t have a relationship with one you have a father in heaven!’ No your worth and value!!
Well said!!!
I love this!
That's so true!
Love you Fumi 💖
Love your channel!
Gud advice❤
My beloved Aunty Funmi, I will love you to come to Houston Texas, I want to meet you in person. ❤❤❤
WELL SAID FUMI👍🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🌎🌎🥝🫛🥦🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸
All denim,❤ BEAUTIFUL AFRO🖤❤🖤, love love love this look😍♥️🥰💯
FUMI, THE CURRENT GENERATION FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW THEM BETTER YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH them/ SPEND MORE TIME AROUND THEM SIX months TO ONE YEAR OF LIVING TOGETHER IS ENOUGH TO KNOW SOMEONE. YOU WILL SEE ALL THE RAINBOW COLORS IN THEM AND FROM THEIR YOU CAN DECIDE for YOURSELF. CURRENT GENERATION ARE WAY DIFFERENT FROM YOUR GENERATION(FUMI). HOW COMES PEOPLE DATE FOR SEVEN YEAR AND ONCE THEY GET IN MARRIAGE IT only last for two to three years. In most cases you will find that the two who are involved in relationship were only seeing each other on weekends or twice a week within that span of seven years of dating.
Facts💯
Yes Yes and Yes, 💯
Absolutely Aunty Fumi what if ur father isnt around anymore who would you get permission from in that case?
Who raised you and is still here? A marriage is also about 2 families coming together, that's the point in asking the father, if there is no father the figure whoever else raised you. It should only apply if meaningful for your family dynamic.
My father passed long before I got married. That's what uncles are for! My uncle told me my boyfriend was a good choice. So I went ahead and married him. Because I knew my uncle was of the same mind/opinion as my Dad. Till this day, my uncle and my husband are tight. They are very similar, it turns out.
@Askadocagree; I had a similar situation
The answer to the question is ABSOLUTELY NOT. Don't move in with him even if he gives you a ring. I seen it happen. The woman moved her life around after getting a ring and got put out the house a month later. Another situation is she got a ring and had a baby, Turns out dude doesn't want to marry her and she doesn't know it yet. I don't know who in her family will tell her. I love the analogy about the plug really being pulled out already. You have to reason on it and protect yourself as much as possible. I remember seeing a hgtv show with house hunting and they wasn't married. The woman took on the mortgage under her name. I thought to myself what a bad decision. Like Fumi said there's some happy endings for a few who move in with each other before marriage, but there's not many examples that make it. Take care of you and if he wants you then he will do what's possible to earn your love. Allow yourself to be respected and not disrespected. This is another PSA
You're so so beautiful!!!
My thinking has always been, if you can live with me, then you can marry me. Just saying.
What if you’re engaged? We’re engaged and getting married and now moving in together. Is being engaged acceptable?
Congratulations on your engagement. 🎉
While being engaged is a big deal, it's still not the same as being married. Waiting to fully become His MRS is a more honourable and dignifiying way to go. At least, it pleases God, and that's the most important thing here. I wish you all the best, Sis.
Fumin😢❤ ...where were you when I foolishy married
Hi Fumi please how can one participate if they cant attend. I recently started my channel and do need all the help.
I need to here this over a decade ago
Is there a link for the hair product? Thanks- my edges need help!
The link is in Aunty Fumi’s description box ☺️
Check the description box
Auntie fumi,I have seen you in my dreams two times now. In the dreams, I wear your clothes when you remove them. Last night I dreamt of where you performed in a big show. After the show, you changed into a casual outfit, and I quickly ran the table where you placed the clothes and dressed myself in those beautiful all gold color from top to down. After I showed off with the clothes, as I was going to drop at your place, your husband and a visitor in your house was angry, so I decided to confess to you myself, but you didn't care instead you gave me your phone to record you. Before God and man ,I was so happy in those dreams even though I don't understand the meaning. Please can anyone help me with the meaning? I love you auntie fumi and all fumi nation.
There no gains, you just end up being used and not getting any solid committment IMO, but there exceptions to every rule.
Have you heard the information about SHANGUELLA ROBINSON!!
No please tell Us
Do you have any tea ????
No darling, pls tell.
Just googled, nothing came up. I hope it's good news!!!!!!!!
The last I heard was her family sued...Cabo 6 and FBI. I think Fumi made a video, back in November? ❤
Published Nov 05, 2024 at 11:36 AM EST
Everyone laughs at me when i say i don’t live with my bf . And im the one laughing at them . Your man gave you a baby and yall live together and he didn’t change your last name
Say no more Aunty Funms❤
Love
No. Do not move in before marriage. Statistics are against it but if that is not convincing enough, here's another. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Yes! You are playing wife duties on a girlfriend budget and when your credit runs out, just know you cannot recoup your loan back.
Great advice 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Great advice Fumi!🙏🙏👏👏