Porn back then was so pixelated because of low speed dial up modems that you could barely see anything anyway. I get down on my knees and thank God every day for HD porn.
@@seraphinax6449 It's funny looking back at some of these old 90's PCs and knowing that some these machines were considered elegant designs while now in the late 2010's we think of these as ugly beige boxes... well some of us
@@loganscomputerco.2599 Surely there were some timeless classics from the 80's and 90's that actually look more elegant than some of the modern-day machines.
I bet they spent a ton of money coming up with that too. Focus groups, sound design etc. _”We want to invoke excitement, power, ease-of-use, the future, possibility, and yet familiarity! And this all needs to be in a sub-10 second sound clip”_ 😂
I have to admit I found my fair share of stuff on local BBS systems. Not a problem in SF, but I suppose it would have been more difficult in more conservative areas.
I knew a guy who bought a computer pretty early (late 70s, early 80s) but didnt get on the internet until nearly a decade later because he thought you needed a special computer to do it.
Haha! "Bureaucrat Conrad, you are technically correct! Which is the best kind of correct." 'How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back' Man, I love me some Futurama. Some say too much... but I just switch to watching on my phone and put some earbuds in.
It's amazing how you could find TONS of stuff on Google back then, but can now hardly find squat on there in 2021. Oh how far........ backwards Google has gone. Personally...I think Social Media, ridiculously extreme tracking and ADS have totally ruined most of the greatness of the web these days.
@@pistool1 The mouse trail function's primary design is for slower GPUs that have a hard time keeping up with screen updating. That said, it is a feature that is pretty much deprecated nowadays since drawing the mouse cursor and updating it requires very little.
I'm impressed that they partnered with fedex to determine the size of the machine not to spend too much on shipping and the amount of logistics that went into making the thing, clearly a cash grab built at cost but impressive.
Mr. new vegas: NCR officials at Camp McCarran were relieved when technical difficulties with its monorail line to the New Vegas Strip proved easy to fix.
I subbed to LGR around the time of sims 3 launch. I still remember when youtube denied LGR for partnership or something, but look at how this channel grew wow... big congratz!
I call it "Lanley's Law" - as any online discussion involving the word "monorail" progresses, the probability of it degenerating into a string of Simpsons references approaches 1.
Like your first boyfriend and first car, you never forget your first computer. This would have been a hell of a pc cause everything is there inside it. cdroms were super pricey on their own in 1996
Joking aside, porn is probably the one piece of media with the most content lost over the years. So from a preservation standpoint, those videos are actually a great find as i doubt anyone else bothered to save them.
Exactly, it deserves to be saved! I was only semi-joking about it being for historical preservation, it's scary how much and how quickly adult content vanishes
“I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map!”. So much tech with the right idea, just executed slightly ahead of its time causing awkward compromises and a "just missed it" price point or featureset. Like the Handspring/Treo guys.
"a" power cable? WHAT? Can we talk about how beefy and nicely braided that cable looks? Seriously, where did you get that cable? I want one for my 1084s monitor!
@@novafawks to add: when you manually search for 90's stuff on mainstream sites, 90% of the time the archives are incomplete. theres a subreddit that i know that has 90's and older: *r/oldschoolcoolNSFW*
this actually reminds me alot of my second computer, i was 10 or 11 and got a computer just a couple years older than this one and the previous owner manually deleted most of his files but when i was playing around with the computer I found a bunch of porn from the previous owner. I was a bit divided on that since on one side i got porn back when porn sites regularly filled your computer with viruses, making porn surfing a dangerous hobby for someone who isnt tech savvy, but on the other hand the porn was the weird kinky kind (mostly fairly fit guys with obese women 2-3 times their size)
5:00 certain industries really abuse key phrases like that. I work for an electrical contractor and most people name their company something like "sparky" "high voltage" or similar electrical related name, and EVERYONE has to have a lightening bolt in their logo. There's one guy into town who calls his company "Sparkman Electric" and his vans have a wrap decal so the van is nothing but lightening bolts across every square inch of paint and his logo is an anthropomorphic light bulb with lightening bolts shooting out of it's head.
@@torquemada1971 That's awesome, I mean it's a great attempt for a company trying to strike out on their own. I'm impressed with the general quality of the software and sturdiness of the build. I imagine the costs of sorting out the screen for the consumer were the final nail for them though.
Putting this video playing along MJD's version makes me learn a lot more about this boxy all-in-one compy, making it such a treat that you both covered the same thing Collab soon?
I feel like the “Mono” part of the name fits with it being an _all-in-one_ computer. I could also see the name evoking how it was intended to be a very streamlined process for first-time computer owners, as it implies a kind of speed, efficiency, and linearity.
In many regions of the world (most notably Europe) those "warranty void if removed" stickers mean absolutely nothing. You are guaranteed two years warranty. Any other contract or other legal bullshit the company throws at you is not actually a legal document.
If memory serves Gateway acquired Monorail's Intellectual Property portfolio in 1999. It morphed into the Gateway Profile and a tablet-like computer that had a Transmeta Crusoe processor, called the Gateway Touch Pad. The Touch Pad had a built-in modem or could run over Ethernet , HPNA, or the original 802.11b spec. There was some development done where the prototypes ran VxWorks, and rumors abounded that it might use AmigaOS (Gateway owned that IP, too), but ended up running Linux in production versions. Sadly, they were designed primarily to connect to AOL.
I'm stunned, I actually tested one of these for my local library back when I was younger. I remember I didn't necessarily want one but thought if it wasn't too expensive it would do the job of web browsing and basic media just fine. Never thought I'd see one again, thanks for the video!
One of my boyfriends had one of those machines, he was always playing with that thing until I got sucked into the retro gaming world, I started with NES emulators then I moved on to DOS, sure some games sucked but still watching LGR made me realize retro gaming still worth it, and let me tell you it's a very cool spot to stay, I just love retro computers it's my thing they are my life, AVGN too is my favorite youtuber ever...
That old wives tale about going blind from looking at porn was a lot more accurate back in the days when you were squinting at a picture that took half an hour to load...
WOW, I remember when that came out, I thought I should have one but at the time I was a STOA in college and was living on the money that Workers Comp gave me to get re-educated from a Police Officer to Paralegal because of a line of duty accident. I was happy with the obsolete 386 SX with a vga monitor that I had purchased while still on the Job out of Computer Shopper back of magazine add blast. I later upgraded to a 486 and thought I had the world by the arm, man that was a great machine in it's day. Since I was the computer nerd in college having spent a year while waiting for college learning the PC, miles ahead of the normal student, when the word went out that I had upgraded I had people standing in line wanting my old machine I had just upgraded by floppy drive to the NEW Windows 95! Man that was slow on a 386 SX but the gal who purchased it wanted 95. I never did get my Monorail but the dream lived on till today. Thanks for the exploration. I once had a Compaq all in one, that had a CRT and was a nice machine, my sister got that as her first computer when I upgraded.
I 'm most likely the only owner of a Monorail computer in Venezuela. I bought it from a venezuelan who got a scholarship and became an english teacher in the US. Original mouse was black (not like the white one in the video). It was the first PC I owned when I connected to internet back in 1998
Monorail Mo looks like someone at the board meeting asked NameLab: "So what's the mascot?" And NameLab was like, mascot??? "Uh, well you see..." *madly scribbles stick figure on the box* "why its the lovely Monorail Mo!"
Is that Cam Clarke doing the Monorail Mo voice? Between this and that Eddie Eagle gun safety cartoon for kids, was there ANY role that guy turned down in the '90s??
The POS system that we use where I work (AXPOS), really is mostly aptly named.... it is a POS........ It's a Windows 10 based system running on 25+ years old hardware (20+ old cash registers tied to the old main-frame.) You can imagine the problems!! :-D It was cheap.... so it'll do, it the corporate thinking here... ;-)
I have two of these beasties... both have blown speakers :( One is a later model with the DSTN 800x600 screen, which annoyingly is cracked. One of them came from my high school library... they got it to run one specific thing - College View. It had a CD with content, and would dial out to get updated information on available colleges.
@@EvilishDem0nic8732WhatItDo normies and usually smart people tend to overlook said folder. Because logically the ms folder is stereotyped as "system files in order for the pc to run or somwhere along those lines" I used to hide mine in folders of games. Usually a folder or two deeper and set it to hidden. and 90% of the time that folder will be behind the c drive and program files.
@@OmegaWolf747 a lot of them still do, they are just installed in cases that don't have any sort of speaker. And the RAM count runs in a "fast" mode or you'd be there all week scanning through 16 GB of RAM every time you switched it on.
I remember an old 1990's Dell tower my parents had that made all sorts of racket when started lol. Thing sounded like little elves running around inside pressing buttons.
I'm glad you included the Simpsons clip. That's what I was singing in my head for the first half of the video. "Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. I heard those things are awfully loud? It glides as softly as a cloud!"
The original owner of this had good taste. I got my first computer in 1994 at the age of 12. And by 1995 I had discovered how wonderful 90s adult entertainment was. No more scrambled screen for me.
I absolutely love your retro hardware reviews. When I see something I recognize (from working in tech sales through the mid-late 90s) its really nostalgic.
“I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map! Well, sir, there's nothin' on Earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail! What'd I say?”
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
"Late 90's dial-up wank bank" is a sentence that needs to be used more often.
There needs to be a disk image made available... for research!
Porn back then was so pixelated because of low speed dial up modems that you could barely see anything anyway. I get down on my knees and thank God every day for HD porn.
You young'un's don't even know what it's like to fap to porn at 320x240.
Would still be fascinating to see how much 18+ content online has changed over the 20 years that have passed.
@@burgertim7878do you even use a nokia?
Monitors in 2019: 90% screen-to-body ratio.
Monitors in 1996: 90% body-to-screen ratio.
Laptop resolution in 2011: 1366x768
Laptop resolution in 2019: 1366x768
@@seraphinax6449 It's funny looking back at some of these old 90's PCs and knowing that some these machines were considered elegant designs while now in the late 2010's we think of these as ugly beige boxes... well some of us
@@loganscomputerco.2599 Surely there were some timeless classics from the 80's and 90's that actually look more elegant than some of the modern-day machines.
SeraphinaX true but I was mainly referring to the beige box machines of the late nineties
@@CrazyTechReviews And some beige boxes were included in what I consider "timeless classics"
I'm pretty sure that "adult entertainment" wasn't blurred, it really looked like that in the 90's!
Still downloading
I would say that the end of 80's fashion. Leisure Suite Larry 1 comes into mind.
The pussy house and teen flashers are two of the links I saw
As a kid I always wanted to try “buffering”..... I heard it was sexy .. lol
Gotta make some sacrifices here and there to fit all your important documents on a single floppy disk.
After discovering the previous owner's "collection", I would've disinfected the keyboard right away, lol.
From what I’ve seen Clint (LGR) is pretty meticulous about cleaning, disinfecting and dusting out his machines so don’t worry lol
FIRST THING ON MY MIND
I'd pour a gallon of rubbing alcohol on the keyboard
2019 this was ...
@@haijehiemstra2883 this was what?
Hearing the windows 95 start up chime always brings a smile to my face :)
Same here. I learn on how to use computers around when MSDOS 2.0 came out.
First time I’ve ever heard it lol, seems familiar yet very retro-beepy, if you get what I’m saying, I love hearing xp’s startup sound
Culture.
I love that sound too
I bet they spent a ton of money coming up with that too. Focus groups, sound design etc. _”We want to invoke excitement, power, ease-of-use, the future, possibility, and yet familiarity! And this all needs to be in a sub-10 second sound clip”_ 😂
Good to know the original owner figured out what the internet is for
the Internet is for porn right?
@@benn454 For porn, porn, porn!
I have to admit I found my fair share of stuff on local BBS systems. Not a problem in SF, but I suppose it would have been more difficult in more conservative areas.
I knew a guy who bought a computer pretty early (late 70s, early 80s) but didnt get on the internet until nearly a decade later because he thought you needed a special computer to do it.
@@arthas640 well that would be late 80s, early 90ies then. still pretty early for home internet access. Didn't get a modem until 1998 or 1999.
"....over 63 million people are linked by computer to the internet"
This is still technically correct. Which is, of course, the best kind.
At least
Haha! "Bureaucrat Conrad, you are technically correct! Which is the best kind of correct."
'How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back' Man, I love me some Futurama. Some say too much... but I just switch to watching on my phone and put some earbuds in.
I had to look up current statistics after seeing that. Apparently now there are around 4.5 billion internet users.
@@PixelatedH2O which is over 63 million.
looks like the old owner took the rail part of monorail a little too seriously
this joke is under appreciated
@underground leaks 101 what....
How to not reset a computer 101
@underground leaks 101 *visibly confused*
He enabled "sticky keys".
it's crazy how we went from 63 million to 4.57 billion internet users in the span of 30-so years. thank you mo for reminding me how far we done come.
It's amazing how you could find TONS of stuff on Google back then, but can now hardly find squat on there in 2021.
Oh how far........ backwards Google has gone.
Personally...I think Social Media, ridiculously extreme tracking and ADS have totally ruined most of the greatness of the web these days.
@@brucewrigleysgumchewz4667 i mean all of the "tracking" is 100% optional and you can just get an ad blocker
More on the internet than drivers
@@brucewrigleysgumchewz4667💯💯💯
@@brucewrigleysgumchewz4667 Gert off me lawn!
That goddamn smeary monitor is like the dreams you have when you're running a high fever.
That's how old laptops were.
That "internet" thing sounds dope, I should get in on that.
63 million users and climbing!
The previous owner got off on that too ;)
@@suborbitalprocess 😆🤣
It's just one of those modern gags. The internet will vanish into obscurity again. Just give it some time.
It'll never catch on. People will be bored of it by 2004.
It looks like one of those touch screen cash register computers.
CamdenBloke Given Monorail’s obsession with outsourcing, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where the metal case originally came from.
11:35 Never knew that there's an actual purpose for the mouse trail function; I always thought it as a fancy gimmick only :D
Except you can't touch anything on screen
@@pistool1
Yep, it was intended for use on DSTN LCDs, from what I heard from someone else.
@@pistool1
The mouse trail function's primary design is for slower GPUs that have a hard time keeping up with screen updating. That said, it is a feature that is pretty much deprecated nowadays since drawing the mouse cursor and updating it requires very little.
"I heard the hard drive's awfully loud"
"It's runs as softly as a cloud!"
"Were you sent here by THE DEVIL?!"
"Oh no dear sir, we're on the level."
"Is there a chance the jacks could bend?"
"Not on your life, my Hellwyck friend."
"But the LCD has a line and seems broken"
"Sorry consumers, our price point has spoken."
"The keyboards crusty and well worn"
"It comes with HALF A GIG of PORN!"
Monoraaaaaiiiiil!
Monoraaaaaiiiiil!
Monoraaaaaiiiiil!
For some strange reason this is one of my favourite episodes of LGR. There's just something about it that is charming and enjoyable!
Did you uhm... archive that wank bank too?
ASKING FOR A FRIEND
For science!!!! Lol
What are you, in-SAIYAN?!
"Cost-optimized inferiority" is my new favorite phrase. It describes so many things so perfectly nowadays. xD
Cost-optimized inferiority - ah, my favourite kind of inferiority.
I'm impressed that they partnered with fedex to determine the size of the machine not to spend too much on shipping and the amount of logistics that went into making the thing, clearly a cash grab built at cost but impressive.
More time spent choosing a box size than actually designing a good system
Mr. new vegas: NCR officials at Camp McCarran were relieved when technical difficulties with its monorail line to the New Vegas Strip proved easy to fix.
That's a pretty random reference
ah, i see you are a man of culture as well.
Makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
That and the Simpsons are the first things that come to mind when I hear Monorail
Ah hell I now wanna play through fallout new vegas
"We want a name without computer buzzwords!"
~a couple years later:~
*Monorail E-Solutions*
I subbed to LGR around the time of sims 3 launch. I still remember when youtube denied LGR for partnership or something, but look at how this channel grew wow... big congratz!
I was waiting for the Simpsons monorail joke and was not disappointed.
I literally was going to comment the same exact thing...LOL great minds think alike!
@@Aevilbeast Me too! Lol, "Monorail!" In Troy McClures voice of course🤣🤣🤣
I call it "Lanley's Law" - as any online discussion involving the word "monorail" progresses, the probability of it degenerating into a string of Simpsons references approaches 1.
Same here!
For me the moment I heard monorail all I could hear in my head was 'Monorail monorail monorail..'
I remember this as my first "real" computer. We got it so me and my dad could play Half-Life.
At... 5fps.
Good times :D
your Dad sounds like a real cool dude
HL didnt come out until late 98
@@patrik_x86 Yes we got the PC 2 years after it came out because it was cheap
Like your first boyfriend and first car, you never forget your first computer. This would have been a hell of a pc cause everything is there inside it. cdroms were super pricey on their own in 1996
5 F P S
Monorail Moe even sounds like a Simpsons character
He sounds a lot like Tom Kenny.(Spongebob)
WHAT I SAY?! MONORAIL!!! WHATS ITS CALLED?! MONORAIL!!!
Mono meaning one, and rail meaning rail!
Cool
Sounds like Matthew Broderick
WOW. It hurts to look at the display in the video, can’t imagine trying to use this thing in person for more than 5 minutes.
Mono----D'OH!!!
Ah. I see you are a man of culture as well
Monado?
Beat me to it by 8 months. Curses! Oh well...
Main street's still all cracked and broken!
Sorry Marge, the mob has spoken!
That screen makes everygame look like it's running in drunk mode
Even games that utilize Motion Blur.
Do it Clint!!
And today games want to take up GPU cores applying motion blur.
Damn, the LCD blur in that adult entertainment was really noticeable.
I blame passive matrix BSD.
"Lately the Internet is on the tip of everyone's tongue"
People /really/ needed to stop licking the Internet.
*pulls WiFi card out of mouth* Don't tell me what to do
Hmmmmmm
Better disinfect that screen.
ya, you don't know where it's been.
11:20 Well, I never expected THAT to be in an LGR video!
*"Late 90's Dial-up Wank Bank!"*
Yeah Nario, that was pretty funny huh! LOL :-)
Complete with STN screen blur
What is that ?
This hard drive will self-destruct in five seconds, good luck Jim.
Please make an LGR t-shirt that says "It Amuses Me, So I Approve"
You've got to upload that porn to the Internet Archive
It's for historical preservation of course
Agree indeed!
Joking aside, porn is probably the one piece of media with the most content lost over the years. So from a preservation standpoint, those videos are actually a great find as i doubt anyone else bothered to save them.
@@jimhjortsberg2990 That's why i save the can-be-deleted ones. Amateur or vintage.
Exactly, it deserves to be saved! I was only semi-joking about it being for historical preservation, it's scary how much and how quickly adult content vanishes
@@anew742 Regretity, copyright etc.
Was waiting for the Simpsons reference; was not disappointed.
I was relieved when it finally happened.
I was disappointed he didn’t say to stand clear of the doors when using the cd tray.
That was the first thing I though of.
Same here.
I was singing the song before i clicked
“I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map!”.
So much tech with the right idea, just executed slightly ahead of its time causing awkward compromises and a "just missed it" price point or featureset. Like the Handspring/Treo guys.
I just love this channel. It's amazing how far we've come in such a short time.
"a" power cable? WHAT? Can we talk about how beefy and nicely braided that cable looks?
Seriously, where did you get that cable? I want one for my 1084s monitor!
Got it on Amazon!
twitter.com/lazygamereviews/status/1193334460625948673
@@LGR I had to double take when I saw that I was like why does this computer need a 30 amp power cable
Looks like something for a clothes iron
So uhhh, for the sake of preservation will the "collection" be uploaded to archive.org?
Asking for a friend.
for archiving purposes of course
Content matter aside, I'm sure a lot of those vids are long-gone to time. It would be in humanity's best interest to archive them!!
Put them on Wankipedia
@@novafawks to add: when you manually search for 90's stuff on mainstream sites, 90% of the time the archives are incomplete.
theres a subreddit that i know that has 90's and older: *r/oldschoolcoolNSFW*
I am honestly curious to look through that wank bank.
"Late 90's dialup wank bank" is possibly the best thing I've ever heard.
xdlol i heard "Wank" from a friend when i was 10 oh man that takes me back
this actually reminds me alot of my second computer, i was 10 or 11 and got a computer just a couple years older than this one and the previous owner manually deleted most of his files but when i was playing around with the computer I found a bunch of porn from the previous owner. I was a bit divided on that since on one side i got porn back when porn sites regularly filled your computer with viruses, making porn surfing a dangerous hobby for someone who isnt tech savvy, but on the other hand the porn was the weird kinky kind (mostly fairly fit guys with obese women 2-3 times their size)
@@arthas640 LOL
Vapourwave collab group name tbh
5:00 certain industries really abuse key phrases like that. I work for an electrical contractor and most people name their company something like "sparky" "high voltage" or similar electrical related name, and EVERYONE has to have a lightening bolt in their logo. There's one guy into town who calls his company "Sparkman Electric" and his vans have a wrap decal so the van is nothing but lightening bolts across every square inch of paint and his logo is an anthropomorphic light bulb with lightening bolts shooting out of it's head.
I spent the whole first half of the video thinking about that Simpson's song... and you didn't disappoint!
That mid 90's pornography belongs in a museum!
Literally, same thought. XD
Or r/oldschoolcoolNSFW
So do you!
Throw him over the side!
It belongs on my SSD.
Jesus, I had one of these in 1997. I was laughed at even then.
@@billhicks8 A local bank in Atlanta had a dozen of these in the lobby for creating new accounts. It was an early online bank.
@@torquemada1971
That's awesome, I mean it's a great attempt for a company trying to strike out on their own. I'm impressed with the general quality of the software and sturdiness of the build. I imagine the costs of sorting out the screen for the consumer were the final nail for them though.
Watching you play anything on this hurts my eyes, but mostly my soul.
Putting this video playing along MJD's version makes me learn a lot more about this boxy all-in-one compy, making it such a treat that you both covered the same thing
Collab soon?
Damn I've lived in Marietta my whole life. You learn some interesting shit every day. Thanks for the video
11:13 BE THANKFUL that the mouse was missing. Imagine coming across "that" with your hand on that mouse. Ugh...
Monorail Simpsons episode: 1993
Monorail company founded: 1995
That's probably not a coincidence.
You know what else isn't a coincidence? Monorail Mo is a blatant rip-off of Manic Mailman.
I knew that Simpsons clip would find its way into this somewhere. Was not disappointed.
First time I heard Clint say 'monorail' that song popped into my head.
Monorail-Quake single map.
Simpsons did it again.
I feel like the “Mono” part of the name fits with it being an _all-in-one_ computer. I could also see the name evoking how it was intended to be a very streamlined process for first-time computer owners, as it implies a kind of speed, efficiency, and linearity.
That's... A lot more credit than I'd give them but you have a point
And "rail" has to do with having to ship it back and forth to the company so they can upgrade it for you
In many regions of the world (most notably Europe) those "warranty void if removed" stickers mean absolutely nothing. You are guaranteed two years warranty. Any other contract or other legal bullshit the company throws at you is not actually a legal document.
If memory serves Gateway acquired Monorail's Intellectual Property portfolio in 1999. It morphed into the Gateway Profile and a tablet-like computer that had a Transmeta Crusoe processor, called the Gateway Touch Pad.
The Touch Pad had a built-in modem or could run over Ethernet , HPNA, or the original 802.11b spec. There was some development done where the prototypes ran VxWorks, and rumors abounded that it might use AmigaOS (Gateway owned that IP, too), but ended up running Linux in production versions. Sadly, they were designed primarily to connect to AOL.
The screen makes my brain hurt just watching the video...
Yes great!
I burst out laughing when you said it was once a wank bank
He tweeted about it... Good lord that's a lot of porn. He said that like 60% of the drive is full of porn.
@@tyttuut so about 600 Mb of porn
Downloaded by a 33.6K dial-up modem
Viewed on a crappy 10" LCD
Wow we've made progress
@@suborbitalprocess some people just THAT kind of horny horny.
@@suborbitalprocess Hey, it worked through.
@@_baniraaisu6711 @johntrevy1 I'm not dissing the guy, you work with the tools you have. Just marvelling how far we've come from that
Touching that keyboard after finding the goldmine of 90s "Material", Hope you washed your hands
COS Can't Drive should have shined a black light on it
Just be thinkful he didn't get the mouse with it. Yuck.
I'm stunned, I actually tested one of these for my local library back when I was younger. I remember I didn't necessarily want one but thought if it wasn't too expensive it would do the job of web browsing and basic media just fine. Never thought I'd see one again, thanks for the video!
This PC was in the movie “Feels Good Man”, you should add this to your rental bucket list if you haven’t watched it yet
First 7 minutes felt like a Tech Tales. I miss Tech Tales now.
Same man. Same
1996: $999 for an all-in-one PC
2019: $999 for a computer stand
Sad, but true.
But this is no ordinary computer stand: it's iStand :D
Inflation
One of my boyfriends had one of those machines, he was always playing with that thing until I got sucked into the retro gaming world, I started with NES emulators then I moved on to DOS, sure some games sucked but still watching LGR made me realize retro gaming still worth it, and let me tell you it's a very cool spot to stay, I just love retro computers it's my thing they are my life, AVGN too is my favorite youtuber ever...
@Roo Smith Do you not realize how much $999 is in 2019? ;P
Late 90s porn: Helping teenagers through puberty one KB rendered at a time.
That old wives tale about going blind from looking at porn was a lot more accurate back in the days when you were squinting at a picture that took half an hour to load...
WOW, I remember when that came out, I thought I should have one but at the time I was a STOA in college and was living on the money that Workers Comp gave me to get re-educated from a Police Officer to Paralegal because of a line of duty accident. I was happy with the obsolete 386 SX with a vga monitor that I had purchased while still on the Job out of Computer Shopper back of magazine add blast. I later upgraded to a 486 and thought I had the world by the arm, man that was a great machine in it's day. Since I was the computer nerd in college having spent a year while waiting for college learning the PC, miles ahead of the normal student, when the word went out that I had upgraded I had people standing in line wanting my old machine I had just upgraded by floppy drive to the NEW Windows 95! Man that was slow on a 386 SX but the gal who purchased it wanted 95. I never did get my Monorail but the dream lived on till today. Thanks for the exploration. I once had a Compaq all in one, that had a CRT and was a nice machine, my sister got that as her first computer when I upgraded.
I 'm most likely the only owner of a Monorail computer in Venezuela. I bought it from a venezuelan who got a scholarship and became an english teacher in the US. Original mouse was black (not like the white one in the video). It was the first PC I owned when I connected to internet back in 1998
You just know that somewhere there's a programmer smuggly satisfied with that rewind function
Monorail Mo looks like someone at the board meeting asked NameLab: "So what's the mascot?" And NameLab was like, mascot??? "Uh, well you see..." *madly scribbles stick figure on the box* "why its the lovely Monorail Mo!"
That porn isn't actually pixelated by Clint, its just how it was back in the day..
Pajama Sam! That’s the title of the video game that I used to play a lot as a kid. I forgot the title and this video just reminded me. Thanks!
Is that Cam Clarke doing the Monorail Mo voice? Between this and that Eddie Eagle gun safety cartoon for kids, was there ANY role that guy turned down in the '90s??
1996: All in one computer for $999
2019: $999 for a computer stand from Apple
there is a connection
Doesn't Apple also sell an iMac for $999?
Apple doesn't make computers.
@@Mr.Morden You're right, they make idiot bait.
We’ve gone backwards!
7:45 Dude, you voided the warranty?!? What will you do if something breaks? What if you get a virus?
Simple! Just call tech support from some shady popup
I'm sure its got plenty of viruses, considering it's practically got a brothel on the hard-drive.
Looks like a POS. (Point of Sale terminal)
Also looks like the more common POS
@@DumbArse I was trynna be nice to it 😅
No u
i thought the same thing
The POS system that we use where I work (AXPOS), really is mostly aptly named.... it is a POS........ It's a Windows 10 based system running on 25+ years old hardware (20+ old cash registers tied to the old main-frame.) You can imagine the problems!! :-D
It was cheap.... so it'll do, it the corporate thinking here... ;-)
I have two of these beasties... both have blown speakers :( One is a later model with the DSTN 800x600 screen, which annoyingly is cracked. One of them came from my high school library... they got it to run one specific thing - College View. It had a CD with content, and would dial out to get updated information on available colleges.
Clint, you've become so damn good at this over the years. Good stuff.
Thank you!
I was calling it my "shame folder", but I think I'll go with Wank Bank from now on. Rolls off the tongue much better.
I would hide this folder in program files under Microsoft
@@EvilishDem0nic8732WhatItDo normies and usually smart people tend to overlook said folder. Because logically the ms folder is stereotyped as "system files in order for the pc to run or somwhere along those lines"
I used to hide mine in folders of games. Usually a folder or two deeper and set it to hidden.
and 90% of the time that folder will be behind the c drive and program files.
I would hide mine insde the Cursors folder or in some random games' folder.
Yes so great!
shame folder is more accurate
11:40 THAT'S what mouse trails are for!?! I just enabled it as a kid cuz I thought it looked cool. :^)
hey at least we now still have that novelty even in modern systems
one thing i miss about old PCs is that "BEEP" on startup ))
My all-in-one Gateway from 4 or 5 years ago beeps in exactly the same way.
I like it too but it used to scare me at times.
I miss that and the RAM count. Why don't modern PCs do this anymore?
@@OmegaWolf747 a lot of them still do, they are just installed in cases that don't have any sort of speaker. And the RAM count runs in a "fast" mode or you'd be there all week scanning through 16 GB of RAM every time you switched it on.
I remember an old 1990's Dell tower my parents had that made all sorts of racket when started lol. Thing sounded like little elves running around inside pressing buttons.
I'm glad you included the Simpsons clip. That's what I was singing in my head for the first half of the video. "Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. I heard those things are awfully loud? It glides as softly as a cloud!"
11:20 Props to LGR for literally recording straight-up unedited pr0n.. then censoring it.
Mono- D'oh!
Beat me to it :)
You win this round 🧐
"i call the big one Bitey!"
@@DeadPollo Batman's a scientist?
This is more of a Shelbyville kind of thing...
🎶 monorail 🎶 Monorail🎵 *MONORAIL* 🎶
A coincidence the guys name is Moe?
I think not!
“Half a GB of porn on the hard drive”
I’d throw that keyboard into a trash barrel and light a fire.
Nice crusty keys for more gripping typing action. Perfect for your mid nineties lewd mud sessions.
@@o03aTmE0o *c r u s t y .*
My thoughts exactly. God knows what happened to the mouse.
that's nothing some White vinegar, and denatured alcohol can't take care of. 😉
Commodorefan64 Half a gig in 90s downloadable videos is Several WEEKS of porn. That keyboard probably formed several layers of crust by now. :/
Man, the information section is so PAINFULLY 90s that I was getting Hypnospace Outlaw flashbacks.
In case anybody cares -- the Phelps Manufacturing facility is the local food bank's warehouse. At least they got that space! :)
I can only think about Simpsons jokes with a name like Monorail.
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map.
*_Internet, eh?_*
Is there a chance the track will bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend…
The looks remind me of those terminals restaurant staff often use.
My God I love this channel so much. Sometimes I just relax to it for hours and even just use it to sleep. You are doing great work LGR.
0:20 where did that sound come from originally? I heard it somewhere but dont remember where and dont know the name
LOL! I like how the box had an RMA number written across it in black sharpie!
Tells us a lot about this unit.
Mono means one
and Rail means Rail.
Everyone wants one.
Mono means single, not one!
and that completes our 1 week course
Are you saying that everyone wants to get railed?
I call the big one "Bitey"
I think it might be more of a Shelbyville idea...
"Were you sent here by the devil?"
"No good sir, I'm on the level."
Number2 came here for Simpsons Monorail references. Was not disappointed.
Is there a chance the rail could bend?
@@seanwieland9763 me too.
@@RikoJAmado Not on your life, my Hindu friend!
That start up sound takes me back👍
@Luke Robinett Yeah, the way it does the BIOS beep was very late-80s
True. But from personal experience the BIOS beep survived into the 2000's...
At least, if you still bothered to hook up your PC speaker... XD
The original owner of this had good taste. I got my first computer in 1994 at the age of 12. And by 1995 I had discovered how wonderful 90s adult entertainment was. No more scrambled screen for me.
11:07 Clint wrote the keyboard was "not great, not terrible". So... would that be a 3.6 rating?
"Cost optimized inferiority." Briliant and concise assessment.
I absolutely love your retro hardware reviews. When I see something I recognize (from working in tech sales through the mid-late 90s) its really nostalgic.
*Apu* : Is there a chance the steel case could bend?
*LGR* : Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
😂
We have an iMac at home
iMac at home:
Gods! I remember my old Monorail. Got it for a steal by doing one of those "Signup for 2yr Internet deals" .. That machine ran FOREVER.
I've sold All-In-Ones to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum it put them on the map!
I was really hoping for the Simpson's reference.
I'm thoroughly satisfied.
“I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
Well, sir, there's nothin' on Earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail! What'd I say?”
I spent a good potion of my childhood playing Warcraft 2 on one of these babies.
Thank you for the shot of nostalgia.
Man I love the sound of this thing turning on! Really brings me back lol.