The Baron: "Damn! That guy is chasing me with a stake! If I hide in my coffin when he's two steps in front of me, he will never catch me. MUAHAHAHAHA!"
You judged it on it's 'Horribleness', and it's 'Sexiness', and even it's 'Vampireness' but what of it's 'Theness'? Frankly it's alarming how many movies with 'The' in the title seem to get a free pass on it's 'Theness'.
Be thankful it's not "A Horrible Sexy Vampire." If Robin judged it on its "A-ness," the Comment section would be filled with very bad, very naughty jokes.
Answering the unasked question--where can I finally find a horror film that features math, legal jargon, and taxidermy? But I'll disagree with Robin--it's not that it isn't horrible enough, it's just horrible in the wrong way...
As an American citizen, I'm really quite jealous of the idea of being able to casually go visit a nearby castle. Unless you're real casual about what you count as a proper castle, we've really only got about two for the whole continent, and one of them is in Canada.
4:36 Excellent _”Loreley”_ callback 😄 5:23 The rapid-fire quips in this review are outstanding 😂 Edit: 8:18 Dunno if “Vengeance of the Invisible Man” was _intentionally_ made see-thru or if it was just a happy green-screen accident, but it’s pretty awesome 😎👍
I'm so glad the bloodhounds are back! That little clip brought me instant joy. I kept assuming we just weren't seeing the blood sucking, but a vampire movie in which no one gets bit is insane. Those two are so impossibly blond that I assumed they had to be siblings. Then they started making out. Troubling.
You know what more horror films need? A scene where a guy from a certain YT channel called Dark Corners plays on the TV in the background for much needed levity in the event that the actual horror film turns out to be boring.
I remember watching this film in a cinema noted for audience participation where a film deserved it. The fight against the invisible vampire caused much hilarity.
They were there in the background in that one scene. Didn't you notice them? Admittedly, the invisible mummy slow-dancing with the invisible creature from the Black Lagoon did obscure them a bit.
Read the film title and thought, "...With Bad Taste In Clothes" but then he was invisible and there went that joke. Horrible/Sexy film? LIFEFORCE. Horrible: The scene between Patrick Stewart and Steve Railsback. Sexy: The ginger in the black rain slicker.
It tickles me to hear what was taught is called a sweater called a jumper. See, a jumper to me is a a dress, usually sleeveless with a low, round collar, that goes over a sweater.
I don’t actually, normally laugh at Dark Corners, but I smile a lot and sneer my and do a chuckle snort, but not a big one, but I like watching it anyway. It makes me feel happy, like just a raw hit of the feeling I got from when MS23k started to click in with my, and I liked it for more than just the funny robots saying funny things about bad movies. Before I understood the jokes, and just enjoyed silly robots saying silly things about bad movies, and nothing else at all. That’s what this is like, like the jokes I understood before I got the actual joke. It makes me feel good, I like this channel.
Math aside, I don't get what he's saying there: The murders happen in 28 year intervals. Ok. "Within 28 days." Hm? Within 28 days of what? The last murder? I thought that was supposed to be 28 years ago? "... with exactly 7 days separating the murders". What? I'm so confused.
Sounded like "within 28 days of each other" - ie, every 28 years this invisible jackass wanders around for 28 days killing people and then goes nappies again. The real question is whether he adjusts for leap years. :)
Great review -- this was much more entertaining than the movie itself. I love watching old public-domain horror flicks and wanted to love this one (perhaps because of the inherent goofiness of the title, perhaps because of the proximity to the Simpson's "Stupid Sexy Flanders" meme), but this flick absolutely broke me. It is so OPPRESSIVELY BORING. I have described this one to others as the "a guy examines dusty furniture in an old manor for 45 minutes" movie, and it's an instant insomnia cure. It belongs in the top five of my most boring movies, which is a shame considering the great title. But you nailed it: it's not horrible enough, it's not sexy enough, and it's not even vampire enough. Total waste of time.
Of all sub-genres, I think Euro-horror makes the best source material for Dark Corners. What was your definition of the Euro-horror sub-sub-genre about pretty young people driving to the remote castle of a random European weirdo?
The softcore porn musical-comedy film ALICE IN WONDERLAND (1976) is both horrible and sexy. Kristine De Bell, who portrayed Alice, was attractive and a decent actress. The jokes in the movie were mostly horrible but it was a fun film for a teenager like me in the late 70s
I guess theatergoers who were hoping for more had better luck with The Invisible Madman, especially since that had two invisible men fighting each other
A movie so forgettable that you forgot that you even saw it, and when you get suckered into it again, you realize with horror that you've already seen it. But then you can't remember if you fast forwarded through it, or if it put you into a coma.
The first girl is the beautiful Ada Tauler and the other girl who takes a shower is Maria Luisa Tovar, who was killed by Waldemar Daninsky in two Paul Naschy films. The "actor" playing the vampire is one of the most bizarre looking people I have ever seen. The music is good, except for that screechy noise at the beginning and the end. The ill-fated inspector was played by the very cool Luis Induni and dubbed by the prolific Edward Mannix.
Well, that was bad, but not horrible sexy bad. Just the regular kind. Which is saying something, considering the invisible vampire thing. Hmmm. Do you think Adolph was rubbing his eyes the first time he saw the count because he couldn't believe he'd actually seen the Shadow? I mean, invisible, creepy laugh, doesn't look anything like his ancestor's portrait...assuming he'd run into Lamont Cranston slumming doesn't seem unreasonable.
At least now we know what a bad horror movie would be like if the leading man was Andy Warhol ... dude is pasty white (paler than the vampire!) with an awful shag-haircut and ugly 60's Mod clothes 7:04.
I'd love to see them do that one. Exidy had a video game out based on it back in 76' that I played all the time. It had a little stick figure that you would run over and it would turn into a tombstone. Someone complained it was too violent and it got pulled from arcades and stores. I was super bummed.
I see that Count Vinegar is pretty bitter. as far as horrible and sexy, there is always the Jean Rollin vampire movies, like *Shiver of the Vampires* and *The Nude Vampire.*
And it's math that contributes absolutely nothing to the plot. It's not as if it ending up leading someone to actually figuring out WTF is going on, so they could kill the vampire.
Ray Dennis Steckler's 'The Mad Love Life of a Hot Vampire' was pretty horrible and sexy. I couldn't in good conscience recommend it to anyone, though. In its' favour, it's mercifully short.
Silly question, but was Robin’s book on the invisible man being transparent done intentionally or was your greenscreen just acting ironic? Either way, awesome touch.
Both. The Chromakey picked it up and Robin liked how it looked. So I cleaned it up so you could see Robin's shoulder through the book instead of background.
Horrible *and* sexy... well, I suppose Erotic Nights of the Living Dead could technically be both of those, depending on exactly what you consider "sexy".
What's not to love about this fun movie all it really needs most of all, is a better more natural grading job it's virtually monochrome in its current state.
![Megan Thee Stallion - Roc Steady (feat. Flo Milli) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/HozPPyqW0dY/mqdefault.jpg)
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
I mean, it’s not a lie. The villain was horrible at being a vampire and at being sexy.
The see-through copy of the Vengeance of the Invisible Man is a lovely touch.
I really appreciate a title that is it's own synopsis
The Stupidy Sexy Flanders
Especially when it's not even accurate lol
"I've got another fox to stuff," is my favourite moment from this review.
Mount, not stuff.
@@johnrudy9404 First mount, then stuff.
The portrait looked like Roddy McDowell.
It looks more like the hero than it looks like the horrible sexy vampire, which does make me wonder if there was an abandoned plot wptwist in that.
"Lets start a master race!" You kill me
I want a sequel involving the the ancient feud between the Von Vinegars and their mortal enemies.......the Von Oils.
Ever since their old allies the Von Lettuces died out and could no longer uphold the Salad Accord, they've been engaged in Vendetta.
And don't forget the von Strokes!
The Baron: "Damn! That guy is chasing me with a stake! If I hide in my coffin when he's two steps in front of me, he will never catch me. MUAHAHAHAHA!"
You judged it on it's 'Horribleness', and it's 'Sexiness', and even it's 'Vampireness' but what of it's 'Theness'? Frankly it's alarming how many movies with 'The' in the title seem to get a free pass on it's 'Theness'.
Be thankful it's not "A Horrible Sexy Vampire." If Robin judged it on its "A-ness," the Comment section would be filled with very bad, very naughty jokes.
@@willmfrank What if the movie has absolutely nothing to do with "A"? That would leave the plot with a massive A-hole!
Do you mean, does it have Matt Johnson in it?
@@bhpinballYes, he was in that band: A The wasn’t he?
Nowadays it would be "The Like Horrible Sexy Like Vampire".
Instead of saving his brain they turned him into a vampire.
Answering the unasked question--where can I finally find a horror film that features math, legal jargon, and taxidermy?
But I'll disagree with Robin--it's not that it isn't horrible enough, it's just horrible in the wrong way...
A sixty years old film called Psycho.
As an American citizen, I'm really quite jealous of the idea of being able to casually go visit a nearby castle. Unless you're real casual about what you count as a proper castle, we've really only got about two for the whole continent, and one of them is in Canada.
There has to be a US gothic horror film where the protagonists keep going to White Castle.
4:36 Excellent _”Loreley”_ callback 😄
5:23 The rapid-fire quips in this review are outstanding 😂
Edit: 8:18 Dunno if “Vengeance of the Invisible Man” was _intentionally_ made see-thru or if it was just a happy green-screen accident, but it’s pretty awesome 😎👍
I was thinking the exact same thing about the Invisible Man Book! I wonder if you hold 'Immortal Dracula' up to a mirror, does it cast a reflection???
Definitely deliberate; nice touch
I dunno, I couldn't see it!
This is one of the funniest movies I ever saw, if only because the name of the guy who played the vampire was Waldemar Wohlfahrt. Now that's a name!
"Sounds like someone's subscribed to Dark Corners!" XD
Well at least they don't sparkle.
The sparkles are invisible too.
I'm so glad the bloodhounds are back! That little clip brought me instant joy. I kept assuming we just weren't seeing the blood sucking, but a vampire movie in which no one gets bit is insane. Those two are so impossibly blond that I assumed they had to be siblings. Then they started making out. Troubling.
LOL, that was my first thought as well.
Count on me!
You know what more horror films need? A scene where a guy from a certain YT channel called Dark Corners plays on the TV in the background for much needed levity in the event that the actual horror film turns out to be boring.
I remember watching this film in a cinema noted for audience participation where a film deserved it. The fight against the invisible vampire caused much hilarity.
7:10 That jacket is a symbol of his individuality and his belief in personal freedom
I saw this years ago on Canadian TV, with the nudity intact and dubbed into Italian. Neither of those helped.
The outdoor snow scene looks a lot like the Corleone compound.
"Let's start a master race together.." - nail in my coffin! 😆
They could have stopped at "Horrible"and saved on the title.
VAMPIRE HAPPENING comes to mind immediately, along with DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS.
The Vampire lovers and twins of evil.
Old Dracula, starring David Niven as Dracula. He would have been a much better Van Helsing, but that guy didn't even make an appearance.
The numbers routine is similar to the TV movie "The Night Strangler".
Follows the creepy laugh into the dark creepy cellar. Works every time....lol
Assumed it was Cranston on a bender again. "Dammit Lamont, get out of my wine cellar!"
So, sexy = invisible? Is that because invisibility requires nudity? Or is what you imagine always sexier than what you can see?
It's the Criswell Theorem: can you prove that it isn't sexy?
@@suedenim Perhaps it's actually Shrodinger's Vampire, until seen it remains both horrible and sexy.
"Or is what you imagine always sexier than what you can see?"
Ah, I see you're a member of the "Keep the Lights Off" school of thought. :)
@@richmcgee434 As Alexandre Dumas said in the 3 Musketeers, all cats are grey in the dark....
@@raymondtillotson6985 Indeed. Some are furrier than others, too.
perhaps they should have hired inspector Clouseau to solve this case. at least it would have been a little more entertaining.
Invisible vampire, eh? It should go on a double bill with "Sound of Terror", the one about the invisible dinosaur, both equally insipid.
Twist, the woman who looked like Adolph’s sister, was a bleach blonde!
The Baron’s vampire senses, must’ve smelled it.
Scene that we could not show on youtube confirms this.
This film needed a lot but mostly it needed a Frankenstein and a Wolfman both of whom could also turn invisible.
They were there in the background in that one scene. Didn't you notice them? Admittedly, the invisible mummy slow-dancing with the invisible creature from the Black Lagoon did obscure them a bit.
That sounds like a movie that Count Floyd would show on "Monster Chiller Horror Theater."
I want a book from Robin on the Creature from Black Lagoon!
“Let’s start a master race together” best line ever uttered!
Politically Incorrect today.
Neo-Nazi pickup lines are full of cringe. Legend has it Hitler used to use the "want to ride my mustache?" one.
@@billmurray7473 Um, no.
Read the film title and thought, "...With Bad Taste In Clothes" but then he was invisible and there went that joke.
Horrible/Sexy film? LIFEFORCE.
Horrible: The scene between Patrick Stewart and Steve Railsback.
Sexy: The ginger in the black rain slicker.
That didn't go where I was expecting it to go ...
I can finally answer a dark place corners question - a film that is both sexy and horrible would be Necromantic.
I feel sullied for knowing that.
I agree horrible not so much sexy.
"Outstanding". Loved it.
Couldn’t anything by Jess Franco be considered both horrible and sexy?
with BARE BREASTED COUNTESS you’ve got the trifecta
It tickles me to hear what was taught is called a sweater called a jumper. See, a jumper to me is a a dress, usually sleeveless with a low, round collar, that goes over a sweater.
I always thought a jumper was someone who throws themself off of a bridge. But I'm Canadian.
@@scotth6814 there's that too, lol.
This movie really delivers the pizza. The cheese pizza!
I don’t actually, normally laugh at Dark Corners, but I smile a lot and sneer my and do a chuckle snort, but not a big one, but I like watching it anyway. It makes me feel happy, like just a raw hit of the feeling I got from when MS23k started to click in with my, and I liked it for more than just the funny robots saying funny things about bad movies.
Before I understood the jokes, and just enjoyed silly robots saying silly things about bad movies, and nothing else at all.
That’s what this is like, like the jokes I understood before I got the actual joke.
It makes me feel good, I like this channel.
Good to know he doesn't want to get it on with his descendants.
Your commentary has always been great, but you knocked it out of the park with this one!
"I've got another fox to stuff"
Weird, this is also the title of my forthcoming autobiography
You too? Damn...
...can we pay for your invisible book with invisible money?
you mean bitcoin?
@@DarkCornersReviewsBitcoin is yesterday's news. I only use Paul Naschy NFTs for my transactions.
hold on... the vampire doesn't even drink blood? Can he be a vampire then? I may just seek this out for the sweaters.
Math aside, I don't get what he's saying there: The murders happen in 28 year intervals. Ok. "Within 28 days." Hm? Within 28 days of what? The last murder? I thought that was supposed to be 28 years ago? "... with exactly 7 days separating the murders". What? I'm so confused.
Sounded like "within 28 days of each other" - ie, every 28 years this invisible jackass wanders around for 28 days killing people and then goes nappies again. The real question is whether he adjusts for leap years. :)
Obviously it's a meta vampire. He just sucks the life out of his movie.
OK, I did not see the bloodhounds quote coming. It must be even stealthier than the invisible vampire!
I, too, cackle ominously when watching your channel.
Outstanding
Great review -- this was much more entertaining than the movie itself. I love watching old public-domain horror flicks and wanted to love this one (perhaps because of the inherent goofiness of the title, perhaps because of the proximity to the Simpson's "Stupid Sexy Flanders" meme), but this flick absolutely broke me. It is so OPPRESSIVELY BORING. I have described this one to others as the "a guy examines dusty furniture in an old manor for 45 minutes" movie, and it's an instant insomnia cure. It belongs in the top five of my most boring movies, which is a shame considering the great title. But you nailed it: it's not horrible enough, it's not sexy enough, and it's not even vampire enough. Total waste of time.
With a title like that alone, with a few 🍻, you know you're in for a good time
Of all sub-genres, I think Euro-horror makes the best source material for Dark Corners.
What was your definition of the Euro-horror sub-sub-genre about pretty young people driving to the remote castle of a random European weirdo?
Euro-horror grilled by DC? The best dish ever.
Probably our most loved genre. Just picked up a Paul Naschy boxset, so expect more werewolves, hunchbacks, exorcisms and yetis in the future.
@@DarkCornersReviews I'm sure it'll be worth waiting for.
More Naschy! Best news I've heard all week.
The softcore porn musical-comedy film ALICE IN WONDERLAND (1976) is both horrible and sexy. Kristine De Bell, who portrayed Alice, was attractive and a decent actress. The jokes in the movie were mostly horrible but it was a fun film for a teenager like me in the late 70s
Oh yeah, I'd nearly forgotten that one. Yes, definitely horrible and occasionally sexy.
Ah well, it was something to beat off to.
I guess theatergoers who were hoping for more had better luck with The Invisible Madman, especially since that had two invisible men fighting each other
A movie so forgettable that you forgot that you even saw it, and when you get suckered into it again, you realize with horror that you've already seen it. But then you can't remember if you fast forwarded through it, or if it put you into a coma.
The first girl is the beautiful Ada Tauler and the other girl who takes a shower is Maria Luisa Tovar, who was killed by Waldemar Daninsky in two Paul Naschy films. The "actor" playing the vampire is one of the most bizarre looking people I have ever seen. The music is good, except for that screechy noise at the beginning and the end. The ill-fated inspector was played by the very cool Luis Induni and dubbed by the prolific Edward Mannix.
Horrible AND sexy... 'The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak'!
"Sounds like someone subscribed to Dark Corners." 💯🧛🏻🤣
Would if those numbers could be winning lotto picks.
Who will protect this horrible, sexy review?? I'LL STAND GUARD!
I agree with your conclusion.
The Vengeance of the Invisible Man looks like it would be really hard to read.
There is no such thing as a “horrible” sexy vampire… That’s an oxymoron lol
Well, that was bad, but not horrible sexy bad. Just the regular kind. Which is saying something, considering the invisible vampire thing.
Hmmm. Do you think Adolph was rubbing his eyes the first time he saw the count because he couldn't believe he'd actually seen the Shadow? I mean, invisible, creepy laugh, doesn't look anything like his ancestor's portrait...assuming he'd run into Lamont Cranston slumming doesn't seem unreasonable.
At least now we know what a bad horror movie would be like if the leading man was Andy Warhol ... dude is pasty white (paler than the vampire!) with an awful shag-haircut and ugly 60's Mod clothes 7:04.
Heavy on the horrible light on the seat.
Got to love that title.
Out of curiosity, have you done Roger Corman's Death Race 2000? I ask because it's my all time favourite movie.
S
I'd love to see them do that one. Exidy had a video game out based on it back in 76' that I played all the time. It had a little stick figure that you would run over and it would turn into a tombstone. Someone complained it was too violent and it got pulled from arcades and stores. I was super bummed.
It's been on the list for a while.
@@DarkCornersReviews Looking forward to it. Thanks.
Did the same guy voice all the characters in this movie?
I see that Count Vinegar is pretty bitter.
as far as horrible and sexy, there is always the Jean Rollin vampire movies, like *Shiver of the Vampires* and *The Nude Vampire.*
“OUTSTANDING!” Lol
Math being put into this movie is the true horror!
And it's math that contributes absolutely nothing to the plot. It's not as if it ending up leading someone to actually figuring out WTF is going on, so they could kill the vampire.
@@DMfilmfan I don’t know.I didn’t see the movie
@@DMfilmfan Ah, but he has a 33 1/3 chance at winning because Kurt Angle knows he can't win so he won't even try.
I'd like to see the taxidermist defeat the vampire and then stuff it. Um, I think that's right.
very cool tshirt
Ray Dennis Steckler's 'The Mad Love Life of a Hot Vampire' was pretty horrible and sexy. I couldn't in good conscience recommend it to anyone, though. In its' favour, it's mercifully short.
Horrible and sexy would be the Fright Night remake
Great review !
The main character could be Draco Malfoys father with hair like that
The horriblyst sexiest film has to be Jose Larraz´s Vampyres, or so I´m told.
So they blamed the whole thing on a suicidal lunatic with the ability to become invisible at will?
If the police get move the murders into the solved column, they're take it.
Prequel to Stupid Sexy Flanders
Silly question, but was Robin’s book on the invisible man being transparent done intentionally or was your greenscreen just acting ironic?
Either way, awesome touch.
Both. The Chromakey picked it up and Robin liked how it looked. So I cleaned it up so you could see Robin's shoulder through the book instead of background.
Good to see the volunteers from "Lorely"
Won't be their last appearance either
“Ohhh no!!! The sexy!! It’s horrible! Ahhh!!”
Response of many asexual moviegoers. "Yes, yes, I'm sure that's very nice for you, can we move on with the plot now please?"
I know that I watched this one a few months back, but I'll be damned if I can remember anything about it. Definitely more horrible than sexy.
So we found the origin of the plot for Jeepers Creepers
I think the "Species" franchise kind of epitomized "sexy and horrible" movies for my generation.
2:15 @TheChieftainsHatch is a vampire!
4
4:36 Is that Philomena Cunk?
Films that are horrible and sexy:
Orgy of the Dead
Films that are great, but not sexy at all:
Nekromantik 1&2
Orgy of the Dead is NOT sexy. It's just BORING.
Horrible *and* sexy... well, I suppose Erotic Nights of the Living Dead could technically be both of those, depending on exactly what you consider "sexy".
Please stop wearing those gorgeous t shirts! I've already bought Metropolis and the Slaughtered lamb ones!!!! 😍
Horror movies come in mysterious ways...!
What's not to love about this fun movie all it really needs most of all, is a better more natural grading job it's virtually monochrome in its current state.
I hope, at least, it was "The " enough.