I truly hope the girl wanting to get married on her dad’s farm left her horrible fiancé & his mother behind. She deserves so much better.. someone who understands the sentimental value of the venue she wants.
People have pointed out a lot of red flags with the farm op’s fiancé but one of the (many) things that stood out for me was fiancés insistence that the farm had no sentimentality to his family. Like babe she’s about to be your wife and therefore her family is your family. If it’s sentimental to her because of family memories then it should have some meaning to you if you value her feelings.
Very true. And weddings are a family event, so honouring the memory of parents / key people who cannot be there is important and very common. Even if her father is no longer alive, he is still her father and lives on in her memory. Does this mean she is not supposed to ever talk about him to her partner?
My fiance was adamant about having a missing man table (google it) at our wedding. IMAGINE if I was like "well I wasn't in the military, only you were. So it means nothing to meeeee" ? Legit psycho.
Ya I'm pretty sure that guys a gold-digger. You see this kind of behavior in the farming community, A lot of farmers are very asset rich even if cash poor. Farms are also often protected in divorce/ inheritance by law. The proceeds of selling a farm is different story. He's setting up to pressure OP to sell the land latter so they can live the high life. He trying to downplaying the sentimental value and avoid adding more to make that easier.
I would have LOVED to have heard that call to the police. "Hello? 911? Yes i need you to send some officers over to my wedding. There is a server wearing a low-cut top and too much eye liner. But please make sure the officers aren't wearing too much makeup cause i don't want their makeup and their shiny badges and handcuffs and flashing lights out-shining me on MY SPECIAL DAY!!!"
@Lar in a Crisis I feel it's an insecurity thing. Like she was intimidated by this woman's body. Like she's attractive and the bride knows that and wants her to not even been seen that way because ItS mY dAy
She must have been one hell of an attractive server for the bride to be that adamant that no one see her, especially given how often the bride was seeking her out in the (presumably crowded) venue.
It sounds like the farm girl is in a toxic relationship - being shamed for her grief and financial status is disgusting. That poor woman, I hope she finds love and acceptance, because that doesn't sound like it.
Oh no. If he is dismissing your feelings now, doesn’t care about your financial welfare, is using the silent treatment (which is psychologically abusive), this is not going to be a happy marriage. You may love them, but they are not treating you with the respect one should have in a healthy marriage.
When it comes to the farm story, no one has mentioned how the fiancée made his MOTHER fight his battles by harassing OP. While OP doesn’t even have her parents anymore..
Oh girly, I'm sorry these make your nervous system go haywire, but PLEASE make more!!! Seeing a wedding planner's perspective on these is fascinating! Not only for the comedy aspect, but it's also really helpful to see how you would approach the situation, how to diffuse things, additional info on some unspoken etiquette rules, etc. that I think it's worth it to keep going!
On top of the other numerous issues being pointed out with the farm wedding one: it sounds like they may have a pretty different worldview when it comes to spirituality. She says she feels her dad’s spiritual presence at the farm and he called that illogical. If she is someone who believes in spirituality, let alone the more whimsical or mystical side of it, and he seems to not only not believe but have *contempt* for people who do, that could be a huge issue down the line on top of everything else.
Oh boy. I'm sorry but if my fiance and his family acted like this towards my decisions about my wedding (especially if I'm paying for it personally), there would not BE a wedding. I can't honestly see proceeding with this marriage and this relationship when he is unwilling to accept what matters to me, mocking me and haranguing me on finding a different option. This is rough.
Something about the farm one that I didn’t hear being talked about - it sounds like the grooms family expected the bride to pay for everything, but then insists on having all of their own expectations met? I know that weddings have a lot of tradition and expectations behind them, but you do not have the right to insist on all your wishes being met when you are not the one actively paying, especially to this degree.
On the story of the bride who wanted to get married at her family farm: my mom has said that if she ever gets remarried she will go to couples counseling with them to discuss money, because that was a big stressor in her former marriage. The bride should not let that comment about the loan slide.
For the first story. I think that sometimes people know deep down that what they are doing is wrong or difficult (like having to much rules at the wedding) but they do it anyway and then they just expect people to be either mad at them or at least don't like the behavior. The SIL either heard already complaints about her wedding rules or she was expecting them at some point, since they were so strict. So when she heard the OP talking about herself and her point of view, of course she believed that it was a comment directed at her. It's understandable but not an excuse, because it's not OP fault, it's SIL emotions that she has to deal with herself.
Definitely. We are at the very beginning of considering planning a wedding, and we would like it child-free That being said, we're also aiming for a lunch wedding, so guests can get home to their little guys in good time :)
Jamie, I've been subscribed for maybe a year now, and I want to HUGELY compliment your communication skills. Every piece of advice you give is straightforward and full of integrity. I grew up in a very broken family unit that would never communicate like this - your kids are lucky to have you.
I’ve watched several of your AITA videos (my guilty pleasure) and I was immediately struck by your kindness and clarity in handling these sticky dramas. Well done girl! 🎉 If you ever get tired of the wedding planner gig consider being a therapist. Honestly, your communication skills are INCREDIBLE. You score an eleven. ❤❤❤
The barn one upset me. My and my fiancé are getting married at my family church because I have lost my uncle and my grandad and both had their funeral at this church and it was where my parents got married. It was my one and only non negotiable in wedding planning and my fiancé was super supportive. We are getting married here despite the fact it is 1.5hrs from home and has made planning more awkward he understands how sentimental this is for me. That is how a fiancé should act when a venue is sentimental.
It’s so strange to me that people get upset if their guests go all out appearance wise for their wedding. Honestly I’d be pretty bummed if people were too casual. Is it an insecurity thing? Maybe it’s because I’m Persian and our weddings are like red carpet vibes. Everyone comes looking ready for the Oscar’s. I expect no less at my wedding that’s happening in a year haha. My fiancé’s fam is more casual and I had to make it very clear that this was black tie. Nothing off limits. Go all out.
It depends on the type of event, and while lots of weddings do bring the glamour and the formality, a lot of are more informal events, so the type of clothing reflects that. My wedding was in a tent in a field. So outside for a large part, most people wore pretty things, but not like, black tie, more like a business casual look I guess. I wasn't going for a black tie event so I didn't expect my guests to dress for that either.
It’s creepy and disrespectful if someone overdresses for an event. So if everyone is wearing “church clothes” and someone wears a gala dress they don’t necessarily look good as much as out of place. (This has nothing to do with the server though. She was fine.)
I definitely think it depends on the group / culture. I love when people look beautiful at weddings, but I've heard of some people showing up in really revealing outfits, and that's not okay - look beautiful and classy, whatever that is to your group 🥰
I think it's something that can vary a lot based on location, culture, and ceremony type. In some cultures, weddings are a multi-day affair with lots of family and friends there to participate and celebrate. Some people have a twenty minute thing in their backyard with some friends and grill out after. Some people have a nice church wedding and then go all out with a crazy reception.
One of my friends daughters just had a wedding where she sent color swatches of the wedding for guest....it looked beautiful everyone taking their own take on clothing but staying in the color zone...the pics were beautiful
This is the first time I'm coming across one of your videos, and I absolutely love the thoughtful compassion you approach these stories with. I definitely hope the Dad's Farm fiancee called off the wedding and moved on with her life, but I adored how much grace you had in your response for the idea that not everyone with a horrible fiance is looking for people to tell them to dump the jerk. I imagine you're a great wedding planner if this is the thoughtful, even-keeled approach you take to a situation like this.
I cannot get over the fiancé and future MIL laughing at the bride that wants to have the wedding at her father’s farm. I know we’re only hearing this one story about him, but I still say through the whole fiancé out. That is unacceptable.
I was supposed to have my vows renewal in my parents backyard. We did our civil ceremony last year in the backyard. My mom decided to "upgrade" us to a little vineyard not too far away. My brothers and MIL ended up joining them to help pay the venue. I will forever remember this wedding. My family (including MIL) has been doing sok mich for me on helping pay, organize, and cook.
For the last story - I barely remember noticing how the servers (or anyone for that matter) were dressed at my wedding 😂 I was just there to have a wonderful time with my new husband 🎉 that bride seriously needed therapy. The only thing I remember about the servers at my wedding was when they all joined on the dance floor towards the end of the night for one of those line dance songs (Cupid Shuffle I think 😂) and it was super fun and awesome! (Especially since a couple of them were crazy good dancers!)
Imagine being so insecure of another woman that you get her sent home over something so ridiculous!!! Idk the server, but in my experience as a woman with a larger chest- we often can't control how some things fit. Hope bride gains some confidence cause thats sad 🤡☠️ I hope the 2nd girl finds peace from that trash can of a man. Or that he fixes himself immediately.
And after the last bride I feel better about asking my wedding planner not to have wine barrels at our venue because I detest them with the fire of a thousand sun's. I apologised profusely for being a bridezilla and she was amazing...I felt so bad...but at least I didn't try and get anyone thrown off their job! This last bride was UNHINGED!
Thanks for apologizing to the planner if maybe your delivery was a little over the top, but asking for a movable, nonessential item to be moved? Not even close to bridezilla territory 😂 I hope you give yourself grace and realize your emotions and stress levels were high. I can almost guarantee that the planner hasn't given it a second though!
The moment the fiance laughed at OP's emotional reasoning for the farm venue, I was thinking red flags don't come larger than that! I hope she dumped him and found her best life.
Honestly like you always say Jamie, planning a wedding isn’t hard - it’s navigating the emotions surrounding. People need to remember that 1. Not everyone will have the emotional capacity to respect you & your feelings- this is not s reflection of you. 2. Do not try to change / negotiate / or reason with toxic/emotional reactions, it’s impossible 3. Be mindful what you share with anyone
Your hair looks AMAZING 👏 and your makeup is on point!! I appreciate your sane viewpoint of this touchy topic, and if I ever plan a vow renewal ceremony with my husband I will absolutely 💯 take your advice. We did not have a wedding...court ceremony...and it was a HUGE regret for many reasons, but at least it was cheap. Sigh. Sending good vibes!
I hope your marriage is beautiful in every way you'd hoped your wedding ceremony would be ❤ and if you want a renewal/vow ceremony, GO FOR IT! Even if no one you know has done one before, if it would make you two happy, then it's worth it a million times over
I would love if you could make a video discussing managing difficult family members during wedding planning. We have been really struggling with my soon to be mother-in-law sharing a lot of negative opinions and frankly shitting all over our wedding decisions. She is not paying for the wedding, but is constantly questioning our choices and telling us that they are ridiculous and she does not agree with them. Everything from the venue, it’s location, my engagement ring, his wedding suit, ideas for desserts, literally everything she has had a problem with, and it is ruining our wedding planning experience and stealing so much of my joy from this time in my life. how do i tell her to keep her opinions to herself without coming off as rude? :(
Just because something is unpleasant to hear doesn't make it rude. Some people will always consider you setting boundaries as unacceptable because it interferes with their ability to interfere with *your* life. Also, make sure that you and your future spouse are on the same page about this. Depending on the amount of pushback you expect, you need them to back you up even if FMIL causes a stink. I would personally be direct, not too harsh, but not softening it either. "You've been sharing a lot of unsolicited opinions about our wedding choices. I understand that you may dislike some of our decisions, but since you are not contributing financially to this event, it's really none of your concern. You are of course entitled to your opinions, but I am tired of hearing your negative remarks during the planning process for what is meant to be a joyous occasion. Please stop."
The RUclips algorithm gods have BLESSED me with this recommendation, I love your commentary! You saw RIGHT through the situation in story 2, so thoughtful and insightful and compassionate.
I'm Soo glad I found your channel. I found it yesterday and I've been watching nothing but your videos nonstop. Please keep your great videos coming. You seem like such a sweet person.💞
I've been married 38 years and you know who planned my wedding? ME and MY MOTHER! We got married in a church, had our reception at the same church (indoor/outdoor), the wedding cake was made by the local grocer (delicious), my brother was the photographer - that's the only thing I would've changed. (he did a fine job, but having a more polished professional would've made the photos more stylistic). Our flowers were the most expensive part of the wedding (after the food), because we went to a pro for those. And you know what? Everyone had fun, everyone got fed, I had very little stress - and I worked full time and was just pregnant (so dealing with morning sickness). And with two grown adults and one grandchild, we're still happily in love. YOU DON'T NEED A WEDDING PLANNER unless you're having more than 150 people or having a society wedding.
I get the putting what colors to wear sometimes, heard of one where they wanted everyone to wear black or white, bride was in a colorful dress. I also get putting on it not to wear white, because my paternal grandmother went to my parents wedding in a pure white pantsuit.
I do not believe in WEDDING RULES!!Where do these brides get off thinking they are dictators in what people wear to a wedding. OMG! Love you Jamie..your videos helped me tremendously planning my daughters wedding. Thank you!
Agreed! If you want to decide yes or no to children, I get that, and maybe common things like silence your phone for the reception, don't take pictures of the ceremony, etc is ok, but levels of makeup????? No. Stop it.
Lol you're so entertaining reacting, and I completely agree with your reactions. Except I think Farm girl fiancé behaved in unforgivable ways and while I appreciate how sympathetic you are to how she might not want to just leave him, I can't in good faith believe anything other than truly, truly she should run as far as she can and only marry someone who actually loves her.
Yeah, he doesn't show any kind of love or acceptance or even tolerance towards her. And you'd expect love and respect. He treated her like a vague acquaintance to be snubbed instead of the fiancee he loves.
I am addicted to this kind of reddit posts but is the first time I find someone who build the people up and not just keep tearing the AH down only for entertaining purposes. LOVE IT!!!
Just curious: as a wedding planner, how would you respond if one of your clients showed multiple signs of acting like a bridezilla? Or would you just stay out of it?
Oh my gosh about the Farm venue girl... Is someone who cares so little about your feing really worth marrying? Just, think about it. Also if you ever read this - I hope you're okay, never think you're alone ❤
Oooooh, the MIL and fiance farm story. My gosh, I feel so sorry for that girl. She needs to run, far, far away. If she is the one paying for the wedding, she gets to choose, when, where, and why. They don't have a right to tell her to take out a loan. The fact that her fiance laughs in her face towards the sentimentality of the venue is a HUGE red flag.
The farm story broke my heart. I hope they were able to understand the importance of the family farm. Many of us farmers fight to keep our heads above water just to keep the farm. Our farm has been in our family for over 100 years. The crops that we raise basically pay the taxes. My brother and I both work off the farm in order to keep it going. We are trying our best to keep our parents' hard work going. My dad passed away almost 10 years ago and my mom 6 years ago. They worked so hard. If my husband said anything like her fiance and future mother-in-law, the would be gone.
you had me at asking guests to wear “minimal makeup” if that doesn’t scream insecure bride idk what does. the sad part is nobody at that wedding was paying attention to the poor server except her. ruined your own day girlfriend… definitely in need of counseling
Run girl, run! This man and his mom sound like they don't care about you. They are being very dismissive and cruel. Please consider premarital counseling at the very least.
I participated to 2 weddings in my life. My SIL's wedding, and my spouse best friend's wedding (I will call her Sarah, not real name). My SIL was a grandiose big wedding (200-300 people) with the chic 3 courses diner. Sarah's wedding was smaller more laid-back wedding on my farm with a all-you-can eat food truck (smashed burgers, and poutines). Guess which one I enjoyed more? Maybe the fact we had to left our dogs home unattended and drive 1h30 away for SIL's wedding might had an impact, but I've always been more comfortable in more layback events than in formal ones.
Her fiance LAUGHED at her wanting to feel connected to her deceased father, called her poor to her face and had his mommy harass her. They shouldn't be getting married at all until he learns to actually give 2 shits about the person he's marrying.
I feel so bad for the woman from the farm story. I asked my fiance if we could do October 17th because it's the day after my late grandma's birthday (for the year we want her exact bday isn't reasonable to do) and he immediately said yes because he knows how much I love my grandma and how much I wish she could be at our wedding. If he laughed at me instead, I'd be figuring out how to move back in with my mom
“911 What’s your emergency?” “Hi there’s a woman at my wedding who’s better looking than me.” “. . . Did you actually call emergency services over this?
That last bride brings to mind is saying that my grandfather had. "Pretty is as pretty does". The way for her to be a pretty bride would have been for her to treat everyone the way she would want to be treated. I'll be completely bummed if I had a friend tell me to wear minimal makeup when coming to celebrate her wedding
People spend thousands for weddings in rural locations, in barns, fields, etc. Them saying " what will people think" would be a deal breaker. Asking you to go into debt instead of offering to help pay for the venue HE wants is beyond a red flag, it's a raging fire.
My dad died in 2004 and my brother and little nephew would need to walk my down the aisle. If my fiancé laughed at that, I’d be gone before he could explain himself
Hahaha she's one of the few people I don't have to speed up! I'm a chronic 1.25x listener lol. Thank HEAVENS for the ability to change listening speeds!
i dont understand why it's so hard for people to be happy for other people. most people are just living their lives, not attempting to overshadow everyone
You've gotta pick your spouse based on more than just "oh I love him/her." The dating process is crucial, you have to align on a whole bunch of things if you want a successful marriage. Finances, religion, kids, how you treat people in server positions, etc. I'm young (21f) so I don't have much experience in the dating world, but even I am aware how much vetting you do when you date someone. A lot of issues are already underlying before the proposal and wedding; they will merely boil over then.
I'm planning a wedding, newly engaged, and the girl wanting the wedding at the farm needs to run. I fortunately have my dad, but lost my mom last year. So having lost a parent, it's important to incorporate the lost parent
I truly hope the girl wanting to get married on her dad’s farm left her horrible fiancé & his mother behind. She deserves so much better.. someone who understands the sentimental value of the venue she wants.
100% agreed with this comment! That man is not marriage material... I'm sorry girl but no way no way! Agree with everything Jamie said ❤
I was thinking the same thing!!!
Totally agree, this whole story, I was screaming DON'T MARRY HIM at my computer
Legit, they both sound horrible and insufferable. She should leave while it's still uncomplicated.
Complete red flags. She needs to run as fast she can!
People have pointed out a lot of red flags with the farm op’s fiancé but one of the (many) things that stood out for me was fiancés insistence that the farm had no sentimentality to his family. Like babe she’s about to be your wife and therefore her family is your family. If it’s sentimental to her because of family memories then it should have some meaning to you if you value her feelings.
Very true. And weddings are a family event, so honouring the memory of parents / key people who cannot be there is important and very common. Even if her father is no longer alive, he is still her father and lives on in her memory. Does this mean she is not supposed to ever talk about him to her partner?
I was REALLY baffled by that…like…do you WANT to be related to your fiancé??? 🤦🏻♀️
My fiance was adamant about having a missing man table (google it) at our wedding. IMAGINE if I was like "well I wasn't in the military, only you were. So it means nothing to meeeee" ? Legit psycho.
Ya I'm pretty sure that guys a gold-digger. You see this kind of behavior in the farming community, A lot of farmers are very asset rich even if cash poor. Farms are also often protected in divorce/ inheritance by law. The proceeds of selling a farm is different story. He's setting up to pressure OP to sell the land latter so they can live the high life. He trying to downplaying the sentimental value and avoid adding more to make that easier.
Exactly. And told HER to take the loan out. He isn't thinking like a unit but like her vs him
I would have LOVED to have heard that call to the police. "Hello? 911? Yes i need you to send some officers over to my wedding. There is a server wearing a low-cut top and too much eye liner. But please make sure the officers aren't wearing too much makeup cause i don't want their makeup and their shiny badges and handcuffs and flashing lights out-shining me on MY SPECIAL DAY!!!"
How on earth would the POLICE showing up be less distracting than having her just stay? I cannot fathom her logic 😂😂
Your comment is way too funny!!!
@Lar in a Crisis I feel it's an insecurity thing. Like she was intimidated by this woman's body. Like she's attractive and the bride knows that and wants her to not even been seen that way because ItS mY dAy
Diamond studs are the "Gotta look presentable but not stand out" type of jewelry to wear at a fancy event.
She must have been one hell of an attractive server for the bride to be that adamant that no one see her, especially given how often the bride was seeking her out in the (presumably crowded) venue.
i mean, she literally asked everyone to wear minimal makeup. that alone screams insecurity
The farm story is so sad. I hope she is okay
It sounds like the farm girl is in a toxic relationship - being shamed for her grief and financial status is disgusting. That poor woman, I hope she finds love and acceptance, because that doesn't sound like it.
not just shamed, given the silent treatment as some kind of punishment :( gosh i'm honestly scared for her if she goes ahead with that wedding
That farm couple is an ocean of red flags! Great advice as always, Jamie! You make me feel so much more in control of planning 😊
Oh no. If he is dismissing your feelings now, doesn’t care about your financial welfare, is using the silent treatment (which is psychologically abusive), this is not going to be a happy marriage. You may love them, but they are not treating you with the respect one should have in a healthy marriage.
Sounds like a songg Carrie Underwood sings. Run girl.
@@michelleslifeonrepeat I think "Good Girl" fits the best here.
When it comes to the farm story, no one has mentioned how the fiancée made his MOTHER fight his battles by harassing OP. While OP doesn’t even have her parents anymore..
Oh girly, I'm sorry these make your nervous system go haywire, but PLEASE make more!!! Seeing a wedding planner's perspective on these is fascinating! Not only for the comedy aspect, but it's also really helpful to see how you would approach the situation, how to diffuse things, additional info on some unspoken etiquette rules, etc. that I think it's worth it to keep going!
"Where are your running shoes?" Lmao so much truth there.
On top of the other numerous issues being pointed out with the farm wedding one: it sounds like they may have a pretty different worldview when it comes to spirituality. She says she feels her dad’s spiritual presence at the farm and he called that illogical. If she is someone who believes in spirituality, let alone the more whimsical or mystical side of it, and he seems to not only not believe but have *contempt* for people who do, that could be a huge issue down the line on top of everything else.
Oh boy. I'm sorry but if my fiance and his family acted like this towards my decisions about my wedding (especially if I'm paying for it personally), there would not BE a wedding. I can't honestly see proceeding with this marriage and this relationship when he is unwilling to accept what matters to me, mocking me and haranguing me on finding a different option. This is rough.
Something about the farm one that I didn’t hear being talked about - it sounds like the grooms family expected the bride to pay for everything, but then insists on having all of their own expectations met? I know that weddings have a lot of tradition and expectations behind them, but you do not have the right to insist on all your wishes being met when you are not the one actively paying, especially to this degree.
On the story of the bride who wanted to get married at her family farm: my mom has said that if she ever gets remarried she will go to couples counseling with them to discuss money, because that was a big stressor in her former marriage. The bride should not let that comment about the loan slide.
For the first story. I think that sometimes people know deep down that what they are doing is wrong or difficult (like having to much rules at the wedding) but they do it anyway and then they just expect people to be either mad at them or at least don't like the behavior. The SIL either heard already complaints about her wedding rules or she was expecting them at some point, since they were so strict. So when she heard the OP talking about herself and her point of view, of course she believed that it was a comment directed at her. It's understandable but not an excuse, because it's not OP fault, it's SIL emotions that she has to deal with herself.
Definitely. We are at the very beginning of considering planning a wedding, and we would like it child-free
That being said, we're also aiming for a lunch wedding, so guests can get home to their little guys in good time :)
“I can’t stand you already.” This made me laugh.
Jamie, I've been subscribed for maybe a year now, and I want to HUGELY compliment your communication skills. Every piece of advice you give is straightforward and full of integrity. I grew up in a very broken family unit that would never communicate like this - your kids are lucky to have you.
What an unbelievably kind thing to say, I’m so honored that I don’t even know how to respond. Thank you so much, Mary. 🤍🥹
I’ve watched several of your AITA videos (my guilty pleasure) and I was immediately struck by your kindness and clarity in handling these sticky dramas. Well done girl! 🎉 If you ever get tired of the wedding planner gig consider being a therapist. Honestly, your communication skills are INCREDIBLE. You score an eleven. ❤❤❤
The barn one upset me. My and my fiancé are getting married at my family church because I have lost my uncle and my grandad and both had their funeral at this church and it was where my parents got married. It was my one and only non negotiable in wedding planning and my fiancé was super supportive. We are getting married here despite the fact it is 1.5hrs from home and has made planning more awkward he understands how sentimental this is for me. That is how a fiancé should act when a venue is sentimental.
I think that sounds really beautiful - I hope you had a lovely wedding :)
The farm wedding sounded amazing though i think she might reconsider thw groom
It’s so strange to me that people get upset if their guests go all out appearance wise for their wedding. Honestly I’d be pretty bummed if people were too casual. Is it an insecurity thing? Maybe it’s because I’m Persian and our weddings are like red carpet vibes. Everyone comes looking ready for the Oscar’s. I expect no less at my wedding that’s happening in a year haha. My fiancé’s fam is more casual and I had to make it very clear that this was black tie. Nothing off limits. Go all out.
It depends on the type of event, and while lots of weddings do bring the glamour and the formality, a lot of are more informal events, so the type of clothing reflects that. My wedding was in a tent in a field. So outside for a large part, most people wore pretty things, but not like, black tie, more like a business casual look I guess. I wasn't going for a black tie event so I didn't expect my guests to dress for that either.
It’s creepy and disrespectful if someone overdresses for an event. So if everyone is wearing “church clothes” and someone wears a gala dress they don’t necessarily look good as much as out of place. (This has nothing to do with the server though. She was fine.)
Your wedding sounds beautiful, but I'd be more comfortable attending a wedding that people would be able to relax at
I definitely think it depends on the group / culture. I love when people look beautiful at weddings, but I've heard of some people showing up in really revealing outfits, and that's not okay - look beautiful and classy, whatever that is to your group 🥰
I think it's something that can vary a lot based on location, culture, and ceremony type. In some cultures, weddings are a multi-day affair with lots of family and friends there to participate and celebrate. Some people have a twenty minute thing in their backyard with some friends and grill out after. Some people have a nice church wedding and then go all out with a crazy reception.
When she said everyone get’s water BUT with lemon killed me 😂😂 I died.
One of my friends daughters just had a wedding where she sent color swatches of the wedding for guest....it looked beautiful everyone taking their own take on clothing but staying in the color zone...the pics were beautiful
This is the first time I'm coming across one of your videos, and I absolutely love the thoughtful compassion you approach these stories with. I definitely hope the Dad's Farm fiancee called off the wedding and moved on with her life, but I adored how much grace you had in your response for the idea that not everyone with a horrible fiance is looking for people to tell them to dump the jerk. I imagine you're a great wedding planner if this is the thoughtful, even-keeled approach you take to a situation like this.
Jamie, your reaction to the story about the server was hilarious! That bride was off the rails. 😂
I cannot get over the fiancé and future MIL laughing at the bride that wants to have the wedding at her father’s farm. I know we’re only hearing this one story about him, but I still say through the whole fiancé out. That is unacceptable.
Jamie you are so cool, collected, and enthusiastic in all of your videos and to see that enthusiasm turn really is something 😂
I was supposed to have my vows renewal in my parents backyard. We did our civil ceremony last year in the backyard. My mom decided to "upgrade" us to a little vineyard not too far away. My brothers and MIL ended up joining them to help pay the venue. I will forever remember this wedding. My family (including MIL) has been doing sok mich for me on helping pay, organize, and cook.
For the first story. As an old southern grandma would say “a hit dog hollers”
For the last story - I barely remember noticing how the servers (or anyone for that matter) were dressed at my wedding 😂 I was just there to have a wonderful time with my new husband 🎉 that bride seriously needed therapy.
The only thing I remember about the servers at my wedding was when they all joined on the dance floor towards the end of the night for one of those line dance songs (Cupid Shuffle I think 😂) and it was super fun and awesome! (Especially since a couple of them were crazy good dancers!)
Imagine being so insecure of another woman that you get her sent home over something so ridiculous!!! Idk the server, but in my experience as a woman with a larger chest- we often can't control how some things fit. Hope bride gains some confidence cause thats sad 🤡☠️
I hope the 2nd girl finds peace from that trash can of a man. Or that he fixes himself immediately.
And after the last bride I feel better about asking my wedding planner not to have wine barrels at our venue because I detest them with the fire of a thousand sun's. I apologised profusely for being a bridezilla and she was amazing...I felt so bad...but at least I didn't try and get anyone thrown off their job! This last bride was UNHINGED!
Thanks for apologizing to the planner if maybe your delivery was a little over the top, but asking for a movable, nonessential item to be moved? Not even close to bridezilla territory 😂 I hope you give yourself grace and realize your emotions and stress levels were high. I can almost guarantee that the planner hasn't given it a second though!
No need to apologise for a reasonable request! Especially if it was ahead of time
@@Chelseabee55 we are still 10 months out :)
Jamie Wolfer and AITA threads are two of my favourite things. I'm so here for this 🔥
The moment the fiance laughed at OP's emotional reasoning for the farm venue, I was thinking red flags don't come larger than that! I hope she dumped him and found her best life.
Honestly like you always say Jamie, planning a wedding isn’t hard - it’s navigating the emotions surrounding. People need to remember that 1. Not everyone will have the emotional capacity to respect you & your feelings- this is not s reflection of you. 2. Do not try to change / negotiate / or reason with toxic/emotional reactions, it’s impossible 3. Be mindful what you share with anyone
I already had my wedding now so haven’t watched as many videos, but I do come back just for these. These are amazing
Imagine being so insecure that you feel upstaged by a server at your own wedding.
Every time I see these aita stories I am amazed that there aren't more catfights and screaming matches everywhere we go! 😂
In regards to the second story, as Charlotte Dobre would say: "DIVORCE! I know you're not married yet but DIVORCE!"
I CLICKED ON THIS VIDEO LIGHTNING FAST AFTER BEING HERE FOR ALL THE OTHER AITA EDITIONS.
Your hair looks AMAZING 👏 and your makeup is on point!! I appreciate your sane viewpoint of this touchy topic, and if I ever plan a vow renewal ceremony with my husband I will absolutely 💯 take your advice. We did not have a wedding...court ceremony...and it was a HUGE regret for many reasons, but at least it was cheap. Sigh. Sending good vibes!
I hope your marriage is beautiful in every way you'd hoped your wedding ceremony would be ❤ and if you want a renewal/vow ceremony, GO FOR IT! Even if no one you know has done one before, if it would make you two happy, then it's worth it a million times over
I would love if you could make a video discussing managing difficult family members during wedding planning. We have been really struggling with my soon to be mother-in-law sharing a lot of negative opinions and frankly shitting all over our wedding decisions. She is not paying for the wedding, but is constantly questioning our choices and telling us that they are ridiculous and she does not agree with them. Everything from the venue, it’s location, my engagement ring, his wedding suit, ideas for desserts, literally everything she has had a problem with, and it is ruining our wedding planning experience and stealing so much of my joy from this time in my life. how do i tell her to keep her opinions to herself without coming off as rude? :(
Just because something is unpleasant to hear doesn't make it rude. Some people will always consider you setting boundaries as unacceptable because it interferes with their ability to interfere with *your* life.
Also, make sure that you and your future spouse are on the same page about this. Depending on the amount of pushback you expect, you need them to back you up even if FMIL causes a stink.
I would personally be direct, not too harsh, but not softening it either. "You've been sharing a lot of unsolicited opinions about our wedding choices. I understand that you may dislike some of our decisions, but since you are not contributing financially to this event, it's really none of your concern. You are of course entitled to your opinions, but I am tired of hearing your negative remarks during the planning process for what is meant to be a joyous occasion. Please stop."
oh jaime. please do more of these!!
I love your energy and reaction.
I’m so glad this server girly most likely didn’t get fired. And if she did, she deserves a better job
The RUclips algorithm gods have BLESSED me with this recommendation, I love your commentary! You saw RIGHT through the situation in story 2, so thoughtful and insightful and compassionate.
I'm Soo glad I found your channel. I found it yesterday and I've been watching nothing but your videos nonstop. Please keep your great videos coming. You seem like such a sweet person.💞
I've been married 38 years and you know who planned my wedding? ME and MY MOTHER! We got married in a church, had our reception at the same church (indoor/outdoor), the wedding cake was made by the local grocer (delicious), my brother was the photographer - that's the only thing I would've changed. (he did a fine job, but having a more polished professional would've made the photos more stylistic). Our flowers were the most expensive part of the wedding (after the food), because we went to a pro for those.
And you know what? Everyone had fun, everyone got fed, I had very little stress - and I worked full time and was just pregnant (so dealing with morning sickness). And with two grown adults and one grandchild, we're still happily in love. YOU DON'T NEED A WEDDING PLANNER unless you're having more than 150 people or having a society wedding.
I love this so much I needed a good laugh!!! Your reactions are on point!😂
As a first time listener, I found you delightful!
Hi Jamie! This was fun! Would love to see an elopement/courthouse wedding ideas video!
I enjoy your version of these videos so much and laughing so hard! Weddings can bring out some crazy 😂
I get the putting what colors to wear sometimes, heard of one where they wanted everyone to wear black or white, bride was in a colorful dress. I also get putting on it not to wear white, because my paternal grandmother went to my parents wedding in a pure white pantsuit.
I do not believe in WEDDING RULES!!Where do these brides get off thinking they are dictators in what people wear to a wedding. OMG!
Love you Jamie..your videos helped me tremendously planning my daughters wedding. Thank you!
Agreed! If you want to decide yes or no to children, I get that, and maybe common things like silence your phone for the reception, don't take pictures of the ceremony, etc is ok, but levels of makeup????? No. Stop it.
Another great video. Thnx Jamie 😊
Lol you're so entertaining reacting, and I completely agree with your reactions. Except I think Farm girl fiancé behaved in unforgivable ways and while I appreciate how sympathetic you are to how she might not want to just leave him, I can't in good faith believe anything other than truly, truly she should run as far as she can and only marry someone who actually loves her.
Yeah, he doesn't show any kind of love or acceptance or even tolerance towards her. And you'd expect love and respect. He treated her like a vague acquaintance to be snubbed instead of the fiancee he loves.
I am addicted to this kind of reddit posts but is the first time I find someone who build the people up and not just keep tearing the AH down only for entertaining purposes. LOVE IT!!!
Just curious: as a wedding planner, how would you respond if one of your clients showed multiple signs of acting like a bridezilla? Or would you just stay out of it?
Girl you are so funny! Keep that personality shining.🤣💜
I could listen to these all day!
Yuck. I lost my dad a year ago in a DD accident and that second story made me cry. I hope she has some support ♥️
Just subscribed! You are delightful, please do more AITA videos👏
Thanks for doing these! It’s a fun laugh and break from wedding planning.
Love these!! I have been married 4 years and I still love these videos. Keep up the great work!!
Oh my gosh about the Farm venue girl... Is someone who cares so little about your feing really worth marrying? Just, think about it. Also if you ever read this - I hope you're okay, never think you're alone ❤
Oooooh, the MIL and fiance farm story. My gosh, I feel so sorry for that girl. She needs to run, far, far away. If she is the one paying for the wedding, she gets to choose, when, where, and why. They don't have a right to tell her to take out a loan. The fact that her fiance laughs in her face towards the sentimentality of the venue is a HUGE red flag.
How insecure are you to think that a server is going to overshadow you! On your wedding day 😂😂😂😂
Honestly if all it takes is an attractive server to ruin your wedding then why are you getting married?
I love these. Jaime, you are THE best.
Its the combo for me. Your reaction and peoples expectations
The farm story broke my heart. I hope they were able to understand the importance of the family farm. Many of us farmers fight to keep our heads above water just to keep the farm. Our farm has been in our family for over 100 years. The crops that we raise basically pay the taxes. My brother and I both work off the farm in order to keep it going. We are trying our best to keep our parents' hard work going. My dad passed away almost 10 years ago and my mom 6 years ago. They worked so hard. If my husband said anything like her fiance and future mother-in-law, the would be gone.
I’m the kind of bride that feels bad asking if we can have a menu that doesn’t affect my allergies. The last story was wild
Throw that 2nd man in the bin…
Thank you so very very much for your video ❤.
you had me at asking guests to wear “minimal makeup” if that doesn’t scream insecure bride idk what does. the sad part is nobody at that wedding was paying attention to the poor server except her. ruined your own day girlfriend… definitely in need of counseling
Run girl, run! This man and his mom sound like they don't care about you. They are being very dismissive and cruel. Please consider premarital counseling at the very least.
That last one was great in such a horrible way 😂😅🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I participated to 2 weddings in my life. My SIL's wedding, and my spouse best friend's wedding (I will call her Sarah, not real name). My SIL was a grandiose big wedding (200-300 people) with the chic 3 courses diner. Sarah's wedding was smaller more laid-back wedding on my farm with a all-you-can eat food truck (smashed burgers, and poutines). Guess which one I enjoyed more? Maybe the fact we had to left our dogs home unattended and drive 1h30 away for SIL's wedding might had an impact, but I've always been more comfortable in more layback events than in formal ones.
The farm bride, I wonder if she could do her bridal shower there. An event where the husband doesn't have to come.
Or (me just now realizing this is probably in the past) a baby shower
The event that that man shouldn’t come to is her wedding. Imho
Her fiance LAUGHED at her wanting to feel connected to her deceased father, called her poor to her face and had his mommy harass her. They shouldn't be getting married at all until he learns to actually give 2 shits about the person he's marrying.
Not the point.
Kids don’t get soda in my house cause it’s UNHEALTHY!
However, I’ve been too strapped for LEMONS at times😂
I feel so bad for the woman from the farm story. I asked my fiance if we could do October 17th because it's the day after my late grandma's birthday (for the year we want her exact bday isn't reasonable to do) and he immediately said yes because he knows how much I love my grandma and how much I wish she could be at our wedding. If he laughed at me instead, I'd be figuring out how to move back in with my mom
“911 What’s your emergency?”
“Hi there’s a woman at my wedding who’s better looking than me.”
“. . . Did you actually call emergency services over this?
That last bride brings to mind is saying that my grandfather had. "Pretty is as pretty does". The way for her to be a pretty bride would have been for her to treat everyone the way she would want to be treated. I'll be completely bummed if I had a friend tell me to wear minimal makeup when coming to celebrate her wedding
where are your running shoes!?? 🤣
I'm going to bet the server was dressed perfectly professionally for her job.
The SIL in the first story reacted that way because she is embarrassed. She probably realized her guests thought she was too strict.
People spend thousands for weddings in rural locations, in barns, fields, etc. Them saying " what will people think" would be a deal breaker. Asking you to go into debt instead of offering to help pay for the venue HE wants is beyond a red flag, it's a raging fire.
My dad died in 2004 and my brother and little nephew would need to walk my down the aisle. If my fiancé laughed at that, I’d be gone before he could explain himself
Ah-mazing. Bridezillas leave me stunned.
Wow, this has been up only 30 minutes! I love her,but have to listen at 75%.
Hahaha she's one of the few people I don't have to speed up! I'm a chronic 1.25x listener lol. Thank HEAVENS for the ability to change listening speeds!
That last one where the bride was " out shown " by the catering staff....just wow
First bride had me wishing I was a guest at the wedding ❤😊😊
The first MIL I can't get over either. I would tell her it hurt me that she would think it was intentional.
Oh my word the last one sounded so in need of therapy
If I was the boss in the last story I would have sent the girl home sooner. I would hate to have my staff work for people treating them like that.
What's the issue with airbnb weddings?
i dont understand why it's so hard for people to be happy for other people. most people are just living their lives, not attempting to overshadow everyone
You've gotta pick your spouse based on more than just "oh I love him/her." The dating process is crucial, you have to align on a whole bunch of things if you want a successful marriage. Finances, religion, kids, how you treat people in server positions, etc. I'm young (21f) so I don't have much experience in the dating world, but even I am aware how much vetting you do when you date someone. A lot of issues are already underlying before the proposal and wedding; they will merely boil over then.
In my fiancés family the men pay for the wedding. They don’t believe in burdening the bride or her family ❤
The friends reference…. “Iiiiim breezy”
I'm planning a wedding, newly engaged, and the girl wanting the wedding at the farm needs to run. I fortunately have my dad, but lost my mom last year. So having lost a parent, it's important to incorporate the lost parent
If your partner ever talks to you that way like In story one don’t ever stay.