Russ Harris | The Art of Defined Values and Happiness - The Art of Charm Ep.
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life?
#russharris #happinesstrap #artofcharm
What to Listen For
-Why can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?
-Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserable
-In what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?
-How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?
-What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?
-What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?
-Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?
-Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challenges
-What is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important values
-How do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?
One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in.
Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite.
Resources from this Episode
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris: www.amazon.com...
Mindfulness Myths on RUclips: • Video
The Choice Point on RUclips: • The Choice Point: A Ma...
ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner's Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris: www.amazon.com...
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Two huge takeaways from this podcast for me:
- When Russ shared about doing this interview how he's nervous, his heart is beating fast and his hands are sweaty. This makes it so easy to relate to him and the concept of doing what you value no matter what your experience is.
- The refugee camp thing. The people there are obviously in a horrible situation, but even THEY can make changes that directly impacts their day, and the quality of their life in the camp. This really helped me see that it doesn't matter what situation you are in, you can always make a choice, and if people in refugee camps can do that, then surely I can as well.
Great comment. Thanks for sharing it. Enhanced the wisdom I gained from this.
Ppppp
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Excellent book. This book and this therapy ( ACT) was a revelation and a revolution. It had such an amazing impact on my life ! Only therapy that helped me and was effective and relevant.
I have learnt some pages by heart.
Thanks so much for your work
Jaz from France
❤❤❤
So values are more about how you want to live life or what you want your life to stand for. They are not restrained by time or circumstance. Goals are more about what you want to achieve. So for example, we may achieve fame or wealth or status but we don't achieve kindness, we embody and practice it. Thank you for this interview.
Yess to all of that! Thanks for watching and engaging! :)
Thank you for this and knowing it’s ok to change your values especially as time goes on
They change as you change. That’s what mental flexibility is all about. :)
My values:
1.) Knowledge
2.) Compassion
3.) Creativity
4.) Fairness / Equality
5.) Love
Act does not define values in that way.
My values:
1. Challenge
2. Courage
3. Creativity
4. Fitness
5. Power
6. Skilfulness
Great list, how do you engage in each value everyday?
This guy is amazing!!! Thank you Russ!!!
Agree, his books are great! What was your favorite part?
thank you ❤👍
My values:
1). Liberty
2). Personal Responsibility
3). Family
4). Health
5). Pursuit of Excellence
Very interesting (as the book!), thank you
Great book and great guy. Check out out interviews with Stephen Hayes for more info and ACT concepts
I love this content. I love Russ Harris and his work. I am so distracted in this video by the moving microphone. Is someone on the floor holding it for him?? Funny to think someone is crouched down propping up the equipment! Haha!
Lol I did not notice that about his mic. Yes it was a great convo. Favorite take away or insight?
@@ArtofCharmTV There are no 'good' or 'bad' feelings/emotions. They are all necessary and need to be felt. (Thank you for responding!)
I love act the only issue I take is the division between values and goals it seems like values so broadly defined as make differences between different goals seem negligible so long as you have the narrative one is living by ones values. Loving a romantic partner creates completely different emotional and meaningful experiences than bring kind to a neighbor the kind of relationship you have is obviously different. It may be a convenient way of dismissing negative emotions ironically enough to suggest one always CAN live by ones values even if some goals are required to actually live by those values. If you value autonomy but live under a dictatorship you may still live by ones values by planning on HOW to escape or change the current system but I do think it would be disingenuous to suggest planning and actually living autonomy are synonymous or at least equally meaningful. Even if we grant such goals are not required
1. Goodness
2. Authenticity
3. Independence
4. Wu-wei
Great, not schedule time to engage in them everyday.
Just stumbled upon this. Thank you so much. Such good advice ,especially during this anxious time with Covid-19.
Russ is great, I highly suggest his book The Happiness Trap
I have read this guys book and attended his workshops, they are very good. Not always hard to do though!!!!! but good stuff.
Me too! ACT course was brilliant
2 values:
1. Don't criticize/scold people
2. Try to do aerobic exercise every day
Thank you for the knowledge
Those are really goals, not values. You can reframe them as 1.) Kindness and 2.) Fitness. Those would be values!
Also, be careful of setting "dead person's goals," which are goals that a dead person could achieve. "Don't scold people" could be accomplished by a dead person, since the dead don't scold or criticize anyone!
@@Ericaaaaaaaaaa Thanks for clarifying! If I wanted to be in relationship and have (sexual) intimacy, what do you think which values could be helpful?
What if you don't have any values?
Thanks ❤❤❤❤❤🕉☮✝
They’ve misrepresented Catholicism. Unfortunately
Interesting take, I totally understand how you would reach it. I consider self-development or value based living as a secular Catholicism.
That’s a great point. Appreciate that.
"You know". Actually, no. I don't.