"I dont think that we need to be brutal on this person cause this person is brutal enough on themselves" is a massivly empathetic phrase that more people should consider when bashing strangers on the internet. Real wisdom, and memes. the reason I am here.
Love how Noel can both have a chuckle yet be emotionally mature enough to realise the weight his words hold to his audience and spits out some straight up fax. Our modern Aesop 🙌🏻
Capitalism is about stepping on others to get to the top, and some people are stepped on since they come out of the womb. It turns people into pushovers for the ones who step on others.
My jaw physically dropped when I heard about the sister and the wedding story… My heart goes out to that person. That is awful. But I’m sure their sister was an amazing person as they described her to be. The sister probably thought that their sibling was just doing what they needed to do to survive. I really hope that they don’t hold this guilt over themselves for the rest of their life. It does remind me of when I used to work at a stupid diner job, and I delivered breakfast for them every morning. And I told my boss about my baby brothers graduation from high school. And they basically made it seem like I was shit out of luck and I need to show up that day. I didn’t. And I didn’t go back. That was so sinister to me. I hate when jobs think they’re more important than family or other irreplaceable moments like that.
@@josiahbaumgartner7643how id that person being dranatic, i get thst this is a comedy channel and youre used to just laughing shit off but the story is like actually hearbreaking. Grt a grip.
Parents do this shit too my grandma from the 50,s keeps bugging me with stupid shit she expect from a worker but she’s a white woman in Canada whilst I’m black like nigga nobody asked for your useless advice that only hurts me and doesn’t take account of my skin or the person I am like mans rly bein black and waltzing in giving a firm handshake nets a job? Lol there’s a reason there’s so many drug dealers government and the selfish racist employers make it damn near impossible to be a productive citizen rip
I met Noel once and upon seeing how short we was, I had no choice but to push him over. Was it easy? Yes. But, was it appropriate, acceptable, and legal ? Apparently not. I’ve since been hit with lawsuits, death threats, and constant ridicule by the masses. I’ve apologized publicly so many times, over 70.. but apparently forgiveness isn’t as easy to push over as sweet Uncle Nole. I hope one day the world can forgive me, but I think for now all I can do is continue to apologize. I’m sorry..
I’m a recovering pushover! What really made me see how much of a doormat I was was when my minimum wage retail job put me on probation and gave me shit for wanting to take emergency leave when my dad suddenly got called in for surgery for his cancer. At the end of that meeting I smiled and was cordial to my managers even though my blood was boiling. My biggest regret is not quitting on the spot. Never let work get in the way of being there for your family!
damn, maybe it was my situation but I had an attitude at my minimum wage job that I didn't care if they fired me and my manager knew and it pissed her off. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you're able to stand your ground more in the future. Hope your dad is doing alright :(
My dad has had a few surgeries and it's never occurred to me to take time off work to sit with him in the hospital or whatever it is people do in that situation. There are other ways of showing your love.
@@zeffery101 thanks so much for your kind words! He is doing fine now! A couple of months after surgery he had to get radiation treatment but he’s been cancer free for nearly 3 years now :))
Dude described the shitty situation that Middle managers and their employees at retail shops are put in perfectly. Middle management at retail is blamed for everything, but they're supposed to do that with employees who are paid next to nothing and legitimately don't give a shit about the job, because, why would they?
I worked at lowes during college and my boss once gave me a talk about how I should “care” about working there I went off on him that I’m only making 11 bucks at the time and the FUCKING fact y’all set up a good drive in the break room shows this job ain’t shit
@@-lee-2867I think food drive. I work part time at home depot right now and they have something in the breakroom called "the Homer pantry", which is a cabinet that workers leave food in for other workers when they're hungry and have no money. Nice thought but kinda fucked up, they should be paying people enough to eat and stocking the breakroom with snacks themselves
13:47 Asking "why" is a great tip. I worked in ski rental for a season. This particular guy asked me a couple of times if I would cover his shift and I did. Turned out he went out with the boss and some other guys and tested the new equipment without telling me that was the reason everytime and I was stuck at the shop. Long story short, I stopped covering his shift.
Feeling very fortunate rn that the retail job I worked thru college had an extremely chill and understanding manager. He would even buy us lunch and split his bonus between all of us. Love that man
That last bit personally resonates with me. Kindness does go a long way but should never be at the expense of your health and happiness. Well said Noel! I wasn’t expecting such a genuine end 😂
Yo, being selfish is ok. Self-ish. Not self-full. Not narcissistic. Being selfish and being mean don’t always coincide. Pushovers sometimes expect other people to be pushovers and then think they have the right to judge others moral character or boundaries when they don’t have their own and don’t understand.
People since early college have been telling me to have more confidence and I tell them I'm afraid of losing self awareness, being narcissistic, and selfish if I go down that path. Even a few months ago my cousin called me a pushover and I got super pissed off and it still bothers me. I read some books in the last few week and I get it now, how to not be a pushover and not be labelled as selfish and narcissistic. Firstly, being confident in what you want. I know what I want won't hurt other people and I intend to help. Secondly, not letting emotions getting in the way when you are in conflict with people. By tactfully navigating a negotiation or any inter-personal conflict by staying level headed people and asking the needs of others while listening well, they will you see you as a friend and you still can get what you want. Lastly, choosing wisely who to engage with and being honest with yourself. Who is wasting your time, who is toxic, who is impeding you from you goals. It's distinguishing your enemies from your friends and not trying to people please all the time. Pushovers are labelled as such usually when they let other people come in the way of their desires and goals with little to no resistance. Now my cousin called me a pushover cuz I went to HIS home city and I just said yes to whatever he suggested. Like bruh, come to my city and I'll make the decisions. He legit is a vain, narcissistic prick. Still a fun guy to be around haha.
Real shit Nothing makes me more confident than realizing my group of friends are ever so slightly more hesitant to call out to a waiter than I am. Suddenly I am a god among mere mortals
This was honestly a 10/10 video. Great advice, super funny, and incredibly engaging. Thank you uncle Nole, I pray you bless us with more like this 🙏. Jokes aside this shit was actually a fantastic vid. Appreciate you bro
Very genuinely needed that end conversation. I’ve been trying to break my chronically bad pushover habits for a minute now and the advice of asking questions first if you’re uncomfortable is great. Not only can you better determine if it’s worth it for you but you also can buy time to think of an excuse if it’s still hard to say no lol
i once saw noel at the superior grocers on manchester. he was at the front counter with his wife when 3 usc varsity football boys went right up next to him and said were next bro. noel stammered sure anything sir, shifting his feet nervously and almost standing with a slight tilt in his back as if to offer himself . aleena was in tears - the cashier slipped her his number, the entire store erupted into laughter.
Man I get the pregnant lady being mad about the line cutting, but "I don't want a wuss to be my baby daddy" GIRL YOU ARE ALREADY PREGNANT! TOO LATE BABE!
Fellas don't get with a girl who wants you to be a "real man" protector type even if you can play that role. You'll never be able to be candid, you'll be on guard emotionally 24/7, you'll feel lonely. I'm being completely serious. There's tons of women out there who won't expect that from you.
I think it’s totally fine to be an absolute pushover if that’s what you want to be as long as it only affects you. Like if I’m by myself and I let 5 people cut in line ahead of me that’s my god damn decision. But as soon as I’m with somebody and I just let 5 people cut in front of them as well it’s not just about me anymore. See what I’m trynna say?
The person who let the mother cut in line was 100% in the right, it's kinda crazy to me that some people would reject someone like that who has limited English and two small children
that’s what I was thinking, it’s really not a big deal at all, even if she did have a cart. plus, as someone with auditory sensory issues, one of the kids was crying, I’d want them to go ahead of me so they can leave faster lmao
That wife said she doesn’t want her kid being raised by a wuss, what a piece of shit better off without her. She’s gonna make you feel bad about everything you do.
Exactly, are you really in so much of a rush that you can't handle a couple of extra minutes wait. You'll probably wait longer at traffic lights on your drive home.
Exactly how I felt too. It honestly feels like their gf was just looking for any excuse to break things off, especially if she blew up at them for offering their spot in line. I understand that pregnancy can be really challenging, but that’s still no excuse to verbally berate somebody because you don’t get your way.
Yeah, that one pissed me off. The pregnant wife is in the wrong here, I'm sorry. I get she's pregnant and has all sorts of hormones and mood swings. It can't be fun at all. But to leave a guy over that situation is actually insane.
I do want to share for people who struggle with pressure to say no at work or conform from threats from managers etc. Im in a diff position than working retail, im a av freelancer so there is less economic pressure involved when i did this but recently got sent to a shift by a labor company that told me they wouldnt send me to calls with a man who harrased me at work and he was there. When i told them i wanted to leave they threatened to never hire me again for a call if i did. They said a myriad of things many of which to the tune of "youll be broke without us". I dont let people threaten me with money or try to control me with theirs. I left almost immediately after I got off the phone with them. Its been 6 days and theyre already asking me to work their shows. So dont ever understimate how hard people will work like Noel pointed out to devalue your life and person and to scare you into doing what they want.
i often feel like this. Whenever im a guest at someones home and they serve me i always feel like theyre doin a big deed for me and that i shuold get up and do something. Its pretty rare for me to say "hey can you get that for me" or "hey can you get me a glass of water please." This is probably cuz im thai indaian and have strict ass asian parents so i have been taught to do things myself and to listen to people who ask you favors. If someone in my family asks me to bring them something, i always do. Im also the youngest so i always feel weird asking one of my sisters to get me something. Even if they accidentally knock my phone out of my hands im the one to pick it up.
I’m a recovering pushover. 3 things that I have realized/ have helped me. 1. You can LIE I’m talking little white lies obviously, like if a coworker asks you to cover a shift on your only day off. You can hit them with the “no sorry I can’t I have plans later” knowing damn well you don’t. You can also just keep it a vague “I’m sorry I can’t”. 2. “I said no” is the perfect ending response when someone is whining and upset that you are enforcing a boundary. Burn that shit into your vocabulary fam. 3. People who have gotten used to using you will be PISSED when you start facing them head on. Let them be pissed. You can be pissed too but don’t act out on them, instead give them space. Often they are looking for a reaction to justify their actions. Think of it as silently standing your ground instead of rushing to fight them head on.
The advice here was actually so well worded, to the point & u can tell it’s coming from a place of wisdom & experience, as all the comments agree. I have friends who I cherish for their kind hearts but whose problems then stem from not placing boundaries. When all is said & done & ur old n grey, the only thing u may have left is urself, so it’s worth treating urself like a friend u will have for life. U deserve it.
if i had nothing better to do and a lady with an upset baby asked to cut me in line, i don't see the problem with letting her. sometimes a simple act of kindness is mistaken for being a pushover; OP already admitted that he was in no hurry, so who cares? i'd gladly be slightly "inconvenienced" by having to wait a few extra minutes to check out if it means that i can make someone's day easier, especially if it's obvious that this person is dealing with more stressors than i am.
For the grocery line one, I think people are being too harsh on the guy. It was the other lady being deceptive and scummy, making him think she only had a small thing when she had a full cart. As he said, he was laughing at the woman's audacity, and who's to say he wouldn't have jumped in after he composed himself if his girlfriend hadn't? And for her to deprive her own child of a father over something so miniscule??? Absolutely unthinkable and abhorrent.
My mother was in the hospital several weeks ago having her ovaries removed due to cancerous growth. My step-dad is a decent father to my 4 year old brother but my brother is, admittedly, a handful, and they needed my help after school to take care of my brother/mom. I asked my boss 2 weeks ahead of time if she could cut my hours so I can get off an hour earlier so I have time to drive 45 minutes home along a dangerous highway. Her response was to schedule me to close every day and cut an hour off of the beginning of my shifts. Her response was so that I can "go home first and then come to work". Keep in mind, I am 17, she had me working 38hrs a week, which is borderline a full time job on top of school. Additionally, she would make me work through my breaks, refuse to give them to me, or only give me my 15 when I was entitled by state law to a 30 minute break. Needless to say I quit on the spot. I know that is unprofessional but I was stuck on what to do. Great video Noel! ❤
What was said at the end about asking questions is so important. Even if you are going to do the favor asking some questions about it or asking for some stuff in return makes it clear that you aren’t a pushover. It makes the person asking see that they are inconveniencing you. It shows that you have boundaries and expectations before doing a favor. If you just automatically say yes it’s just going to be expected of you to sacrifice your interests for someone else’s, people won’t even see it as your doing a favor, it’s just expected to happen. When you finally stand up for yourself and say no or ask for a favor in return all the sudden your the bad guy for not bending the knee like you always do.
I think it’s less like the guy doesn’t think he deserves that spot in line, but more that he doesn’t really care whether he has it or not. Some people are driven but also not career oriented or driven by time management. That’s long term tolerance on display.
In college my husband worked at Walmart on the side. He was one of their best workers (did the lazy managers job). One day he had a major life changing test at school and needed to do his homework before then. Told his job he couldn't come in for one day because he had an important important test to take that day. They told him he couldn't take the day off and he warned them if they didn't give him the earned time off, he wasn't going to come in that day and quit. They didn't believe him buy he did go to school and never went back to that Walmart for years. Also I had a few retail jobs and they are quite horrible. Makes me respect other workers.
Tbh i do let some people cut me in line if there polite and only have a few items because I simply dont really care about waiting another 3 mins. But thats it like people asking me for seriously stupid things then ill be honest an say nah
When I was in hs, we traveled with the choir for a competition abroad and we had to go by bus (was one country over, almost 14 hours). Since we were minors, we had to have some of the parents with us and they were in the same bus as us. On our way home we were all very tired but I got up early to get good seats near my friend and in front of my sister so we could switch and be comfortable. One of the moms saw this and she started pleading with me to switch seats. She didn't even give me a solid reason (or a real one) but she sounded urgent so I agreed. Turns out she was sitting in front of a tall girl and wouldn't be able to have enough space for herself and she knew I was always very caring with people so she took advantage of that. I gave up my seat for a grown ass woman who didn't give a shit about my comfort or the fact that I was away from my family. This might sound like a small thing but it actually shocked me into not being as much of a pushover. Some people won't give a single shit about your situation and will try to do everything to make it work to their advantage so why let them step over you? They can piss off and deal with their situation on their own. (not referring to people who need actual help, use critical thinking to differentiate)
For the guy whose girlfriend thought he was being a wuss, the one example he gave wasn't bad, but I'd assume it's the straw that broke the camel's back. Also, like was mentioned, it seems like the wife yelled at the lady, and the husband just kinda ignored it (or maybe even defended the lady), so she was probably more pissed about that part of it, not just at the fact that he let the lady go ahead of them. And it's probably just the millionth time that he's done something like that. The husband himself couldn't think of any other examples, but that's because he's not paying much attention, and meanwhile it was probably pissing off the wife more and more.
Maybe, or the wife is unhinged and went off on some random woman in the store for asking a simple favour of a stranger. Evidence in favour of unhinged is the fact that she wants to undo her child's parentage over this non-event.
In poland it is a rule in most shops, at the doctors, in trams and buses to let the pregnant lady first or let her sit. They can go first in every queue. Its also a matter of good manners.
I had one coworker who was hated by everyone, especially this one manager. She came into work to say her house burnt down and couldn't call in since she lost her phone in the fire (i don't know why she showed up in the first place?) but the one manager was in and REFUSED to let her go back to figure it out, she was scheduled for her shift. It took her crying on the phone to another manager for the coworker to actually leave, and my manager who wouldn't let her go home got fired a few weeks later.
The advice was actually helpful cause I’m a chronic people pleaser and asking questions is damn good advice I feel bad saying no but after a few questions it become clear they are just being selfish.
I was 16 working at Dairy Queen and got promoted to assistant manager about a year and half into working there (I was close to 18 years old). I didn’t care about the job whatsoever but I got shit done and I helped others learn to do things without being mean. You can not care about a job but also not inconvenience others into picking up your slack. Some people did nothing and were useless and it was annoying because at the end of the day we still gotta get ppl their food. I can go slow but why not hurry tf up so we can talk more once they leave? Idk I just think it’s not hard to do a minimum wage job even if you dgaf about it
Pushovers confuse self respect for selfishness. Most people would be a lot happier in life if they realized that the life they’re living, is theirs. At the end of the day, we’ll all always have ourselves to count on.
I am reminded of the man in r/casualuk who posted about walking in on the plumber smelling his wife's knickers. Instead of kicking him out, he just awkwardly offered him a cuppa
If you don’t know how to respond to someone asking to skip you in line just say “I’m sorry but I’m in a really big rush.” A polite response yet still clearly telling them “No.”
man the middle manager talk hit hard, I had a manager at sbux try to convince me to stay as a barista instead of taking a job offer in NYC (in my obscure-ass major) by saying she didn’t have another opener??? 😭
When I was in high-school, my sister had crashed her car with me in the passenger seat and I hit my head on the ceiling of the car and got a concussion and I wasn't supposed to work for like 3-4 days, when I told my doctor he responded with, come on I can't find someone to cover your doubles this weekend, can't you work atleast 11-7, and I agreed because I felt too awkward to say no, and now I effects of a brain injury for the past 4 years because it never healed right
I’m a long time fan and I’ve recently stopped watching videos regularly but I can still appreciate what he does. Cody has always been kind of a push over. And although I did enjoy him as much as Noel I can’t help but notice how each of their content is splitting into different ways. Cody seems like a content created focused on quantity of quality while noel is the opposite. Appreciate you and everything you do!
Something that helps with getting over being a pushover is knowing that, no matter what, you’ll be just fine. Think about all the stuff you look back on now that seemed so scary in the moment, and how they have either not shaped your future at all or did for the better. Chances are, if you have some confrontation with someone like a friend, family member, or even a boss, even if it gets heated, and the result is them exiting your life or firing you or something, they were already going to do that to you, it was just a matter of time. Be nice and approachable and respectful, but treat your own respect like it is something that must be earned by others. If you’re a pushover, you’re probably a really damn good person and that’s something to be proud of, but don’t let the fact that you’re a selfless person allow other people to walk over you. Respect yourself!
Noel and Cody's cycles are back in sync
LMAAAOO
@@shroombunny510xyd
🩸 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
Jokes on you: Cody's cycle is paused because he's pregnant, so he's just following Noel's cycle.
@@actionjackson3522jokes on you: Cody is extra sensitive during this time he can smell when Noel’s gonna make a video
"I dont think that we need to be brutal on this person cause this person is brutal enough on themselves" is a massivly empathetic phrase that more people should consider when bashing strangers on the internet. Real wisdom, and memes. the reason I am here.
yup thats our empath king
Such a powerful statement
Love how Noel can both have a chuckle yet be emotionally mature enough to realise the weight his words hold to his audience and spits out some straight up fax. Our modern Aesop 🙌🏻
i literally read this comment right when he said that
Noel continues to promote Better Help, knowing that the therapy he provides is better than anything on that site. Genius.
thought this was about to be a hate commercial lol
@@noneofthiseverhappenedNo, it's genius. Getting the sponsorship bag but providing a better quality service? Damn.
As he would say, he is double bagging it
@@noneofthiseverhappenedBetter Help is trash, and a scam.
@@33up24double bagging it 😂😂😂
"kindness can put you behind a long line" and "the expense should never be your own well being, but maybe just a few minutes" had me tear up fr
Damn homie what’s happening in America? Why you all pushovers 💀
Capitalism is about stepping on others to get to the top, and some people are stepped on since they come out of the womb. It turns people into pushovers for the ones who step on others.
@@kakonthebed because people are too tired and burnt out to fight back, system working as intended
@@kakonthebed in america basically you're taught since elementary school to do what you're told and not think for yourself
My jaw physically dropped when I heard about the sister and the wedding story… My heart goes out to that person. That is awful. But I’m sure their sister was an amazing person as they described her to be. The sister probably thought that their sibling was just doing what they needed to do to survive. I really hope that they don’t hold this guilt over themselves for the rest of their life.
It does remind me of when I used to work at a stupid diner job, and I delivered breakfast for them every morning. And I told my boss about my baby brothers graduation from high school. And they basically made it seem like I was shit out of luck and I need to show up that day. I didn’t. And I didn’t go back. That was so sinister to me. I hate when jobs think they’re more important than family or other irreplaceable moments like that.
Holy shit my guy calm down you’re so dramatic
@@josiahbaumgartner7643how id that person being dranatic, i get thst this is a comedy channel and youre used to just laughing shit off but the story is like actually hearbreaking. Grt a grip.
That story was heartbreaking man
I literally cried upon hearing that story
@@josiahbaumgartner7643bros did not get the humanity memo
The wedding story seriously broke my heart. My condolences to that person and I hope life is kinder to them now.
Parents do this shit too my grandma from the 50,s keeps bugging me with stupid shit she expect from a worker but she’s a white woman in Canada whilst I’m black like nigga nobody asked for your useless advice that only hurts me and doesn’t take account of my skin or the person I am like mans rly bein black and waltzing in giving a firm handshake nets a job? Lol there’s a reason there’s so many drug dealers government and the selfish racist employers make it damn near impossible to be a productive citizen rip
hey all people pleasers, it's ok to have boundaries and to say no. you aren't in charge of everyone elses feelings.
😏
the surprise when you begin to say no and think everyone will reject you but they instead begin to respect you is still mindblowing for me lol
I met Noel once and upon seeing how short we was, I had no choice but to push him over. Was it easy? Yes. But, was it appropriate, acceptable, and legal ? Apparently not. I’ve since been hit with lawsuits, death threats, and constant ridicule by the masses. I’ve apologized publicly so many times, over 70.. but apparently forgiveness isn’t as easy to push over as sweet Uncle Nole. I hope one day the world can forgive me, but I think for now all I can do is continue to apologize. I’m sorry..
Dude I feel you :( but keep pushing forward, you got this
@@evasdorling7555 pushing is what got them here in the first place! 😡
How could you do that to a 72 year old?? You deserve what’s coming
L + plus no one asked + i hope you do time in prison
You were that guy? You sick fuck. You deserve all of it.
I’m a recovering pushover!
What really made me see how much of a doormat I was was when my minimum wage retail job put me on probation and gave me shit for wanting to take emergency leave when my dad suddenly got called in for surgery for his cancer.
At the end of that meeting I smiled and was cordial to my managers even though my blood was boiling.
My biggest regret is not quitting on the spot. Never let work get in the way of being there for your family!
damn, maybe it was my situation but I had an attitude at my minimum wage job that I didn't care if they fired me and my manager knew and it pissed her off.
I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you're able to stand your ground more in the future.
Hope your dad is doing alright :(
My dad has had a few surgeries and it's never occurred to me to take time off work to sit with him in the hospital or whatever it is people do in that situation. There are other ways of showing your love.
@@zeffery101 thanks so much for your kind words! He is doing fine now! A couple of months after surgery he had to get radiation treatment but he’s been cancer free for nearly 3 years now :))
@@Sisterlisklol you seem like a great person congrats on the selfishness
@@Sisterlisk Bro ur weird
Dude described the shitty situation that Middle managers and their employees at retail shops are put in perfectly. Middle management at retail is blamed for everything, but they're supposed to do that with employees who are paid next to nothing and legitimately don't give a shit about the job, because, why would they?
I worked at lowes during college and my boss once gave me a talk about how I should “care” about working there
I went off on him that I’m only making 11 bucks at the time and the FUCKING fact y’all set up a good drive in the break room shows this job ain’t shit
@@MehoyMenoy13 what's a good drive?
@@MehoyMenoy13what’s a good drive?
@@MehoyMenoy13what’s a good drive?
@@-lee-2867I think food drive. I work part time at home depot right now and they have something in the breakroom called "the Homer pantry", which is a cabinet that workers leave food in for other workers when they're hungry and have no money.
Nice thought but kinda fucked up, they should be paying people enough to eat and stocking the breakroom with snacks themselves
People need to hear a pt 2 of this. People don't hear this enough with a gentle comedic approach with nice background music.
Noel is uniquely talented at putting real wisdom in such a funny format
noel giving hope and genuine advice to all the 16-24 yr olds losing their minds in part-time jobs
noel came to my college and did exactly this. would recommend his shows
So you can only be 16-24 years old l?
13:47 Asking "why" is a great tip. I worked in ski rental for a season. This particular guy asked me a couple of times if I would cover his shift and I did. Turned out he went out with the boss and some other guys and tested the new equipment without telling me that was the reason everytime and I was stuck at the shop. Long story short, I stopped covering his shift.
“average conflict resolution skill” is my new flex
don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm
Feeling very fortunate rn that the retail job I worked thru college had an extremely chill and understanding manager. He would even buy us lunch and split his bonus between all of us. Love that man
That last bit personally resonates with me. Kindness does go a long way but should never be at the expense of your health and happiness. Well said Noel! I wasn’t expecting such a genuine end 😂
Perfectly times for my ipad baby meal
I used to be such a pushover all my life, when people call me selfish now I actually see it as a compliment
i don’t get why it’s wrong to be selfish. like i’m literally me obviously i’d put myself before others
@@artdeco777weird view on life but you do you
Yo, being selfish is ok. Self-ish. Not self-full. Not narcissistic. Being selfish and being mean don’t always coincide. Pushovers sometimes expect other people to be pushovers and then think they have the right to judge others moral character or boundaries when they don’t have their own and don’t understand.
People since early college have been telling me to have more confidence and I tell them I'm afraid of losing self awareness, being narcissistic, and selfish if I go down that path.
Even a few months ago my cousin called me a pushover and I got super pissed off and it still bothers me.
I read some books in the last few week and I get it now, how to not be a pushover and not be labelled as selfish and narcissistic.
Firstly, being confident in what you want. I know what I want won't hurt other people and I intend to help.
Secondly, not letting emotions getting in the way when you are in conflict with people. By tactfully navigating a negotiation or any inter-personal conflict by staying level headed people and asking the needs of others while listening well, they will you see you as a friend and you still can get what you want.
Lastly, choosing wisely who to engage with and being honest with yourself. Who is wasting your time, who is toxic, who is impeding you from you goals. It's distinguishing your enemies from your friends and not trying to people please all the time.
Pushovers are labelled as such usually when they let other people come in the way of their desires and goals with little to no resistance.
Now my cousin called me a pushover cuz I went to HIS home city and I just said yes to whatever he suggested. Like bruh, come to my city and I'll make the decisions. He legit is a vain, narcissistic prick. Still a fun guy to be around haha.
the “what’s next” spiraling is like me when I catastrophize things in my head frfr
I try and be nice all the time but there is a fine line between kindness and weaknesses. Never let anyone take advantage of your kindness.
I'm loving the new model of Noel. This one seems a lot wiser and more genuine. 10/10
Used to be a massive pushover also till I lived with my best friend at the time. Pretty much pushed me to start being assertive
Real shit
Nothing makes me more confident than realizing my group of friends are ever so slightly more hesitant to call out to a waiter than I am. Suddenly I am a god among mere mortals
Cool pfp dude
This was honestly a 10/10 video. Great advice, super funny, and incredibly engaging. Thank you uncle Nole, I pray you bless us with more like this 🙏. Jokes aside this shit was actually a fantastic vid. Appreciate you bro
100%
Very genuinely needed that end conversation. I’ve been trying to break my chronically bad pushover habits for a minute now and the advice of asking questions first if you’re uncomfortable is great. Not only can you better determine if it’s worth it for you but you also can buy time to think of an excuse if it’s still hard to say no lol
3:09,
> "big city"
> *remembers it's the UK*
> "big-small city"
Made me crease
i once saw noel at the superior grocers on manchester. he was at the front counter with his wife when 3 usc varsity football boys went right up next to him and said were next bro. noel stammered sure anything sir, shifting his feet nervously and almost standing with a slight tilt in his back as if to offer himself . aleena was in tears - the cashier slipped her his number, the entire store erupted into laughter.
no clapping? :(
noel's skin is glowing now that he's pregnant with cody's baby
Man I get the pregnant lady being mad about the line cutting, but "I don't want a wuss to be my baby daddy" GIRL YOU ARE ALREADY PREGNANT! TOO LATE BABE!
Fellas don't get with a girl who wants you to be a "real man" protector type even if you can play that role. You'll never be able to be candid, you'll be on guard emotionally 24/7, you'll feel lonely. I'm being completely serious. There's tons of women out there who won't expect that from you.
I think it’s totally fine to be an absolute pushover if that’s what you want to be as long as it only affects you. Like if I’m by myself and I let 5 people cut in line ahead of me that’s my god damn decision. But as soon as I’m with somebody and I just let 5 people cut in front of them as well it’s not just about me anymore. See what I’m trynna say?
Wow this video is actually more therapeutic than any of the 5 dollar therapy videos
The person who let the mother cut in line was 100% in the right, it's kinda crazy to me that some people would reject someone like that who has limited English and two small children
that’s what I was thinking, it’s really not a big deal at all, even if she did have a cart. plus, as someone with auditory sensory issues, one of the kids was crying, I’d want them to go ahead of me so they can leave faster lmao
That wife said she doesn’t want her kid being raised by a wuss, what a piece of shit better off without her. She’s gonna make you feel bad about everything you do.
Exactly, are you really in so much of a rush that you can't handle a couple of extra minutes wait. You'll probably wait longer at traffic lights on your drive home.
Exactly how I felt too. It honestly feels like their gf was just looking for any excuse to break things off, especially if she blew up at them for offering their spot in line. I understand that pregnancy can be really challenging, but that’s still no excuse to verbally berate somebody because you don’t get your way.
Yeah, that one pissed me off. The pregnant wife is in the wrong here, I'm sorry. I get she's pregnant and has all sorts of hormones and mood swings. It can't be fun at all. But to leave a guy over that situation is actually insane.
Definitely a 1/10 vid, great work Noel and team
This looks so insulting without the context of RUclips's ranking system lol
@@ponodude101it is insulting, trash vid fr (i love uncle nole)
I do want to share for people who struggle with pressure to say no at work or conform from threats from managers etc.
Im in a diff position than working retail, im a av freelancer so there is less economic pressure involved when i did this but recently got sent to a shift by a labor company that told me they wouldnt send me to calls with a man who harrased me at work and he was there. When i told them i wanted to leave they threatened to never hire me again for a call if i did.
They said a myriad of things many of which to the tune of "youll be broke without us". I dont let people threaten me with money or try to control me with theirs.
I left almost immediately after I got off the phone with them.
Its been 6 days and theyre already asking me to work their shows. So dont ever understimate how hard people will work like Noel pointed out to devalue your life and person and to scare you into doing what they want.
Well that's absolutely vile, I'm very sorry that happened to you and I'm glad you know your worth.
i often feel like this. Whenever im a guest at someones home and they serve me i always feel like theyre doin a big deed for me and that i shuold get up and do something. Its pretty rare for me to say "hey can you get that for me" or "hey can you get me a glass of water please." This is probably cuz im thai indaian and have strict ass asian parents so i have been taught to do things myself and to listen to people who ask you favors.
If someone in my family asks me to bring them something, i always do. Im also the youngest so i always feel weird asking one of my sisters to get me something. Even if they accidentally knock my phone out of my hands im the one to pick it up.
genuinely good advice. you can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
I’m a recovering pushover. 3 things that I have realized/ have helped me.
1. You can LIE
I’m talking little white lies obviously, like if a coworker asks you to cover a shift on your only day off. You can hit them with the “no sorry I can’t I have plans later” knowing damn well you don’t. You can also just keep it a vague “I’m sorry I can’t”.
2. “I said no” is the perfect ending response when someone is whining and upset that you are enforcing a boundary. Burn that shit into your vocabulary fam.
3. People who have gotten used to using you will be PISSED when you start facing them head on. Let them be pissed. You can be pissed too but don’t act out on them, instead give them space. Often they are looking for a reaction to justify their actions. Think of it as silently standing your ground instead of rushing to fight them head on.
The advice here was actually so well worded, to the point & u can tell it’s coming from a place of wisdom & experience, as all the comments agree. I have friends who I cherish for their kind hearts but whose problems then stem from not placing boundaries. When all is said & done & ur old n grey, the only thing u may have left is urself, so it’s worth treating urself like a friend u will have for life. U deserve it.
8:40 this story was definitely alot more deep rooted than just that incident
i am job searching atm and seeing the post about this guy denying great offers just cause crushed my soul
if i had nothing better to do and a lady with an upset baby asked to cut me in line, i don't see the problem with letting her. sometimes a simple act of kindness is mistaken for being a pushover; OP already admitted that he was in no hurry, so who cares? i'd gladly be slightly "inconvenienced" by having to wait a few extra minutes to check out if it means that i can make someone's day easier, especially if it's obvious that this person is dealing with more stressors than i am.
this is legitimately excellent advice and also presented in such a funny way. i love the nice music too. 10/10
For the grocery line one, I think people are being too harsh on the guy. It was the other lady being deceptive and scummy, making him think she only had a small thing when she had a full cart. As he said, he was laughing at the woman's audacity, and who's to say he wouldn't have jumped in after he composed himself if his girlfriend hadn't? And for her to deprive her own child of a father over something so miniscule??? Absolutely unthinkable and abhorrent.
My mother was in the hospital several weeks ago having her ovaries removed due to cancerous growth. My step-dad is a decent father to my 4 year old brother but my brother is, admittedly, a handful, and they needed my help after school to take care of my brother/mom. I asked my boss 2 weeks ahead of time if she could cut my hours so I can get off an hour earlier so I have time to drive 45 minutes home along a dangerous highway. Her response was to schedule me to close every day and cut an hour off of the beginning of my shifts. Her response was so that I can "go home first and then come to work". Keep in mind, I am 17, she had me working 38hrs a week, which is borderline a full time job on top of school. Additionally, she would make me work through my breaks, refuse to give them to me, or only give me my 15 when I was entitled by state law to a 30 minute break. Needless to say I quit on the spot. I know that is unprofessional but I was stuck on what to do. Great video Noel! ❤
I did not receive a notification for this video I just sensed it in my bones
What was said at the end about asking questions is so important. Even if you are going to do the favor asking some questions about it or asking for some stuff in return makes it clear that you aren’t a pushover. It makes the person asking see that they are inconveniencing you. It shows that you have boundaries and expectations before doing a favor. If you just automatically say yes it’s just going to be expected of you to sacrifice your interests for someone else’s, people won’t even see it as your doing a favor, it’s just expected to happen. When you finally stand up for yourself and say no or ask for a favor in return all the sudden your the bad guy for not bending the knee like you always do.
Noel's assortment of British accents needs more attention
I think it’s less like the guy doesn’t think he deserves that spot in line, but more that he doesn’t really care whether he has it or not. Some people are driven but also not career oriented or driven by time management. That’s long term tolerance on display.
Noel loves using contradictory phrases 😂 and I love him. I would listen to him talk about anything.
In college my husband worked at Walmart on the side. He was one of their best workers (did the lazy managers job). One day he had a major life changing test at school and needed to do his homework before then. Told his job he couldn't come in for one day because he had an important important test to take that day. They told him he couldn't take the day off and he warned them if they didn't give him the earned time off, he wasn't going to come in that day and quit. They didn't believe him buy he did go to school and never went back to that Walmart for years.
Also I had a few retail jobs and they are quite horrible. Makes me respect other workers.
I’ve never clicked anything so fast in my life
First
like how fast
Tbh i do let some people cut me in line if there polite and only have a few items because I simply dont really care about waiting another 3 mins. But thats it like people asking me for seriously stupid things then ill be honest an say nah
noel was surprisongly genuine in this video 😅
Noel is one step away from class consciousness
As someone that works at T-Mobile. You really just gave me the push I need to get on my grind to escape
When I was in hs, we traveled with the choir for a competition abroad and we had to go by bus (was one country over, almost 14 hours). Since we were minors, we had to have some of the parents with us and they were in the same bus as us. On our way home we were all very tired but I got up early to get good seats near my friend and in front of my sister so we could switch and be comfortable. One of the moms saw this and she started pleading with me to switch seats. She didn't even give me a solid reason (or a real one) but she sounded urgent so I agreed. Turns out she was sitting in front of a tall girl and wouldn't be able to have enough space for herself and she knew I was always very caring with people so she took advantage of that. I gave up my seat for a grown ass woman who didn't give a shit about my comfort or the fact that I was away from my family.
This might sound like a small thing but it actually shocked me into not being as much of a pushover. Some people won't give a single shit about your situation and will try to do everything to make it work to their advantage so why let them step over you? They can piss off and deal with their situation on their own.
(not referring to people who need actual help, use critical thinking to differentiate)
i really like the direction the channel is going noel is pretty cool
For the guy whose girlfriend thought he was being a wuss, the one example he gave wasn't bad, but I'd assume it's the straw that broke the camel's back. Also, like was mentioned, it seems like the wife yelled at the lady, and the husband just kinda ignored it (or maybe even defended the lady), so she was probably more pissed about that part of it, not just at the fact that he let the lady go ahead of them. And it's probably just the millionth time that he's done something like that. The husband himself couldn't think of any other examples, but that's because he's not paying much attention, and meanwhile it was probably pissing off the wife more and more.
Maybe, or the wife is unhinged and went off on some random woman in the store for asking a simple favour of a stranger. Evidence in favour of unhinged is the fact that she wants to undo her child's parentage over this non-event.
yk what nole your advice to just ask more questions is actually super helpful. i genuinely be forgetting that shit. big ups bossman 🤝
The questioning tip is actually really good and I will be using it
In poland it is a rule in most shops, at the doctors, in trams and buses to let the pregnant lady first or let her sit. They can go first in every queue. Its also a matter of good manners.
I had one coworker who was hated by everyone, especially this one manager. She came into work to say her house burnt down and couldn't call in since she lost her phone in the fire (i don't know why she showed up in the first place?) but the one manager was in and REFUSED to let her go back to figure it out, she was scheduled for her shift. It took her crying on the phone to another manager for the coworker to actually leave, and my manager who wouldn't let her go home got fired a few weeks later.
10:10 that lady needs to grow up. Moving on is 10x better than creating a scene or getting revenge. You win every time
The advice was actually helpful cause I’m a chronic people pleaser and asking questions is damn good advice I feel bad saying no but after a few questions it become clear they are just being selfish.
That closing statement was the most genuinely caring thing I think I’ve heard you say 😢
Pushover, I hardly know her
Thank you i really needed this , love the video noel
I just slid into a guardrail but thankfully I had Noel’s soothing voice to keep me grounded 🩶
I was 16 working at Dairy Queen and got promoted to assistant manager about a year and half into working there (I was close to 18 years old). I didn’t care about the job whatsoever but I got shit done and I helped others learn to do things without being mean. You can not care about a job but also not inconvenience others into picking up your slack. Some people did nothing and were useless and it was annoying because at the end of the day we still gotta get ppl their food. I can go slow but why not hurry tf up so we can talk more once they leave? Idk I just think it’s not hard to do a minimum wage job even if you dgaf about it
Pushovers confuse self respect for selfishness. Most people would be a lot happier in life if they realized that the life they’re living, is theirs. At the end of the day, we’ll all always have ourselves to count on.
I am reminded of the man in r/casualuk who posted about walking in on the plumber smelling his wife's knickers. Instead of kicking him out, he just awkwardly offered him a cuppa
I needed this video Ngl. Thanks Unc Noel
wow this video was an amazing watch, I definitely watched the whole video before posting this comment!
If you don’t know how to respond to someone asking to skip you in line just say “I’m sorry but I’m in a really big rush.” A polite response yet still clearly telling them “No.”
hey guys, its my birthday today, rolling a j and watching noel as the clock strikes 12 👍🏼. my life is sad
"set boudaries to become boundaryless" - noel, 2023
I love this Noel I really needed this
man the middle manager talk hit hard, I had a manager at sbux try to convince me to stay as a barista instead of taking a job offer in NYC (in my obscure-ass major) by saying she didn’t have another opener??? 😭
“You gonna let someone get ahead of you in the will?” I’m crying real tears bro holy shit
I love how Noel’s UK accent is both English, Scottish AND Irish lol
we need more noel streams
When I was in high-school, my sister had crashed her car with me in the passenger seat and I hit my head on the ceiling of the car and got a concussion and I wasn't supposed to work for like 3-4 days, when I told my doctor he responded with, come on I can't find someone to cover your doubles this weekend, can't you work atleast 11-7, and I agreed because I felt too awkward to say no, and now I effects of a brain injury for the past 4 years because it never healed right
Your doctor?
0:37 that trumpet gives me faceit flash backs lmao
why is this the best one in the AITA series
I’m a long time fan and I’ve recently stopped watching videos regularly but I can still appreciate what he does. Cody has always been kind of a push over. And although I did enjoy him as much as Noel I can’t help but notice how each of their content is splitting into different ways. Cody seems like a content created focused on quantity of quality while noel is the opposite. Appreciate you and everything you do!
When noel posts I kick my feet like a toddler in a highchair
Impeccable accents
Not Shocked at the amazing feed back and advice
Noel’s videos are my favorite
The ending was beautiful
Something that helps with getting over being a pushover is knowing that, no matter what, you’ll be just fine. Think about all the stuff you look back on now that seemed so scary in the moment, and how they have either not shaped your future at all or did for the better. Chances are, if you have some confrontation with someone like a friend, family member, or even a boss, even if it gets heated, and the result is them exiting your life or firing you or something, they were already going to do that to you, it was just a matter of time.
Be nice and approachable and respectful, but treat your own respect like it is something that must be earned by others. If you’re a pushover, you’re probably a really damn good person and that’s something to be proud of, but don’t let the fact that you’re a selfless person allow other people to walk over you. Respect yourself!
I hope Noel knows how amazing he's doing
how the fuck do you know how he is doing
Thank you for the personal coaching 🙏🏾
I use betterhelp, and i appreciate the duality between actual therapy and the superior Noel format of therapy
I feel so called out. This video was made for me.
Fantastic episode, more of that format please Uncle Noel
Loving serious advice Noel
The grocery store story is beat for beat the magician sketch from I Think You Should Leave