Just because OP has to be at home because of the current situation doesn't mean OP is now available as a babysitter. If OP was away at college the parents would have to manage without him. OP has to study and needs to be left in peace to get on with his studies. If OP's parents weren't making such unreasonable demands and constantly interrupting him he wouldn't need to wear earplugs and headphones.
My husband and I had twin beds joined to a king sized headboard, each with its own sheets and blankets. We slept side by side but separated so no blanket wars and he was not able to sleep sharing a bed. We could still touch tho.🤗💕
I just would like to say as someone who works in the medical field that HIPAA makes no exceptions for family members. It doesn't matter if the person is a parent, child, sibling, or grandparent. Literally the only family exception is biological parents to minor children. The doctor would know the consequences of a HIPAA violation and should have known a complaint would be lodged against them when they violated the parent's specific instructions to not share their child's medical information. The doctor brought all that down on themselves and OP is not the ahole.
The person with the support dog is absolutely not the a-hole. They're setting very clear and concise boundaries "This is my dog, this is how I train him, stop trying to undo that"... It's not even about the dog being a service dog, sabotaging the training of any dog is a huge violation of someones trust. This guys brother sounds like a terrible person and it seems pretty understandable that he lost his job. It seems like he is acting out to try and perceive some form of control on his life.
First story: NTA the parents are the A**holes because it’s not Op’s responsibility, he’s already trying to get through college and with three other capable younger siblings who can help!
OP is living at home, and I'm guessing if he were paying rent he would have put that front and center. He needs to pull his weight. That doesn't mean parenting. It means being available at times to help out with household tasks, and using it as a way to snub visitors is straight-up rude. Nothing wrong with using earbuds to sleep though.
I understand that this person is 21, an adult!! I think that they should have a talk with their parents about how unacceptable it is the next time their rent payment is due!! Oh wait!! The parents are 100% supporting their 21 year old ass (and trust me, they don't have to be doing that...my parents along with thousands of others would never even consider allowing their child to live at home, rent free at the age of 21. When I mentioned an interest in college my parents told me I was an adult therefore figure it out.) If their parents are paying all the bills and allowing them to live there rent free then they should not complain too much about helping out (a reasonable amount of help) and to simply listen out for the baby...again, within reason. If they don't like it and feel like you said, that the parents are the assholes then this person should most definitely immediately move out and pay their own rent, utilities, insurance, groceries, internet, satellite or cable, possibly a car payment, cell phone, etc. It would be interesting to see how much time they have to sleep and lie around with their headphones on then!! And it is not unreasonable to expect someone to do that while in college. I attended college fulltime, worked a full time job, took care of a household, raised 2 kids, maintaining a GPA of 4.0 AND did it by myself for the most part because my husband was military and at that time stayed deployed and then got transferred all the way across the country while we stayed so that I could finish my degree at that university!
OP is a college student. That is their job, front and center. The parents decided to have another baby, not OP. OP being home doesn’t mean they are suddenly available for babysitting or parenting their own kids. They have essentially a full-time job with education as it is. And if they need help, they should get the other siblings to help first. I agree that OP should still hang out with family and maybe don’t go full no-contact when not sleeping or in school, but older children are not your free babysitters.
@@wolvesrfun When you live in a house for free you help out. It doesn't matter if it's babysitting, cooking, cleaning, or any number of other possible contributions. Adults have full-time jobs AND maintain a household. OP is incredibly privileged to not be working a part-time job as well. It sounds like he needs a taste of the real world. Maybe he should move out, get his own place, and learn what it takes to support himself.
I wouldn't care about mother-in-law. Anime Pillow case or not. MIL can go somewhere with that drama. Its not your pillow, it's not your problem. Dont butt your head where it doesnt belong and make your son/daughter feel bad for owning a pillow case you dont like. They bought it cause they do. They live in their own home, you have no control.
With the headphones story, my aunt used to be weird about stuff like that, that's one of the reasons I moved out of my house. She said "What if someone broke in and hurt me?" Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do against someone with the power to break into the house? what if I'm out of the house and she gets hurt? People who make excuses for not letting people avoid sensory overload (and sleep deprivation) are some of the worst people.
I can definitely relate to this story! I've been doing that combination for years and have gotten a LOT of flack about it. My neighbors/family is very noisy--slamming doors, hitting the walls with furniture or whatever, taking their phone calls and talking in front of my door. I've complained about it several times which only resulted in them getting nasty and louder, so I started wearing headphones and playing the radio all day so that I can't hear them. Best idea I ever came up with!
Lol...yes it is their problem ultimately, absolutely. I also understand that this person is 21, an adult!! I think that they should have a talk with their parents about how unacceptable it is the next time their rent payment is due!! Oh wait!! The parents are 100% supporting their 21 year old ass (and trust me, they don't have to be doing that...my parents along with thousands of others would never even consider allowing their child to live at home, rent free at the age of 21. When I mentioned an interest in college my parents told me I was an adult therefore figure it out. If their parent are paying all the bills and allowing them to live their rent free then they should not complain to much about helping out (a reasonable amount of help) and to simply listen out for the baby...again, within reason. If they don't like it and feel like you said, that it is the parent problem then they should most definitely immediately move out and pay their own rent, utilities, insurance, groceries, internet, satellite or cable, possibly a car payment, cell phone, etc. It would be interesting to see how much time they have to sleep and lie around with their headphones on then!! And it is not unreasonable to expect someone to do that while in college. I attended college fulltime, worked a full time job, took care of a household, raised 2 kids, maintaining a GPA of 4.0 AND did it by myself for the most part because my husband was military and at that time stayed deployed and then got transferred all the way across the country while we stayed so that I could finish my degree at that university!
@@SilverstreamPJ28 I'm not asking for recognition or a pat on the back im just trying to make the point that its not that difficult for someone to go to college and work at the same time.
@@PrimateProductions this person has younger siblings, they have done their part taking care of babies. There's enough people in that house to watch that child. Its not about how hard it is, it's the principle that they should be available for help when they haven't been asked/are the oldest. Let the other fucking kids do their bidding.
Fertility Issues: I'm post full LAVH. No ovaries, no uterus, due to severe endometriosis. I now get my hormones in a monthly shot. I would say OPs wife has the exact same fertility issues I currently due. No physical difference.
The OP with the lazy wife should have left her when she decided not to support your son and his feelings. As a mother I can NOT fathom how a mother could act like that about their child.
The only way I agree with the parents in #1 is that it’s dangerous to not be able to hear your siblings if you are the only adult home, as well as fire emergencies. But if everyone is home and OP needs to study, all you have to do is say “I’m putting my headphones on to study”. I work in an office environment and everyone I work with has earbuds or headphones because sometimes you just have to concentrate.
TW: ab*se and r*pe mention I have c-PTSD also, and if someone said what OP said to his girlfriend to me, I would hear so much more. I wouldn't just hear " I could keep you here if I want" I also would hear "I could ab*se u and u couldn't do anything about it" and "if I r*ped u you would have no one to turn to and no place to go". I know that that it super extreme and sad but that is what trauma can do to you. OP was so so so the a-hole
Story 1 is ridiculous. OP is a student, they need good rest to be able to keep up with studying. The parents aren’t upset because OP is “closed off from the family”, they’re upset because they can’t rely on OP for free childcare and are upset OP is locking their door so they have privacy, that’s what they’re actually upset about.
There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!! Regarding your comment: 21 year old adults (they have been adults for a whole 3 years at this point) don't NEED their parents to allow them to live in their home rent free and to 100% support them financially while going to college without the expectation of helping out and contributing to the family.
@@PrimateProductions they in school a d would have been at school if it wasn't for the pandemic. they had to pay for dorm etc. plus not a lot of college kids have time for jobs depending on classes.
@@azadalamiq are you kidding me? Have you been to college yet? Did you even read all of my comment? Who "had to pay for the dorm, etc"? The parents? How exactly do you think that so many adults who already have jobs and kids and take care if their homes and bills and kids go back to college and get a degree(many who are paying for all of those things PLUS college)?
@@PrimateProductions parents paying for a kid's college? Lmao! If only! C'mon students obviously take out loans. Haven't you heard crippling student loans are on the economy and individuals? Kid should literally move in with any friend or extended family member they have and just get out of it. Then their family can't complain. :) oh no! They'd have to care of their own crotch goblins! :o
How ridiculous. If my mother came over and took exception to my anime or whatever, she knows better than to harass me over it. You know, because I’m a freaking adult and don’t need others’ approval for my every decision. The only person I’m beholden to for things like that is my wife, and she’s a goddess.
NTA. They had the baby it is their responsibility. Granted it is dangerous to not be able to hear in case of fire or something. But to parade you around to play happy family for your parents friends when ppl sgouldnt be gathering is stupid.
Not buying the MacBook for the girl who didn’t earn it while buying the PS5 for the son who did is nta. He earned it and she didn’t. It would be unfair to both the son and daughter to buy the unearned reward.
What I found weird was the mother’s reaction to DMZ chan for many years we had a cuddly poodle sitting on our bed that really was a case for my wife’s nightdress and knew of others who did the same with all sorts of nighty case on their bed
Wtf is wrong with miscarriage OPs brother??? I was dating a woman when my sister was pregnant with my niece and she was having problems with her pregnancy. The woman made a comment about how no one needs to go to the hospital that much and that was enough for me to see what kind of person she was and leave her. A good person will be understanding and worry about family or a loved ones family.
> Older kids are not responsible for younger siblings, especially if there's a bunch of them. Don't keep popping out babies if you can't care for them. > Why tf do parents think their adult kids never do anything "deviant" (not calling the body pillow deviant). It's two grown adult in a bedroom alone together. Do you think they have pillow fights and tea parties?
I said 'Not your issue to appropriate' "Excuse me!?!" No-one is appropriating anything but the sister attempting monopolize. The wife DOES have fertility issues and the sister should recognize that.
Had to pause the video and stop drawing cause I immediately got mad at the sister with fertility issues. "Chose" what does that mean?? You don't choose to be trans, they got into the relationship both agreeing that they want kids and are happy to adopt. Outing your significant other to someone, even if it's your parents, is not okay. OP didn't like nor did he "appropriate"
Oh yeah...im sure that is what most parents are thinking...let's have another baby and make our oldest kid raise it and see how it turns out!! I'm thinking its more like this: There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
Earplugs and such while your sleeping, think about if you can hear the smoke detector. My friend has super hearing and started wearing earplugs in college and still does 30 years latter.
Hey!!!! 1 story: OP is NTA it's not OP responsibility to take care of the baby if the pandemic wasn't going on they wouldn't be home so no I'm over entitled parents forcing their older children to take care of a sibling the parents had the baby and they should take care of the baby and the parents are TA
Oh, did they say that they would not be living at home if it were not for the virus? There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
@@PrimateProductions You're really entitled aren't you? You do realize that not a lot of places are hiring due to said pandemic (By the way this was originally posted last year). Also where the hell does he say that he doesn't contribute? He's never said he doesn't watch her when asked and he doesn't say that he never helps around the house. You're really reaching by assuming he does none of this and by assuming he simply lays around. I think you've forgotten what college is like because other wise you'd remember how time consuming it is and how important sleep is for you to be able to actually pass. Looking at your other comment it feels more and more like that. He's already paid his parents back when he was growing up as he's had to watch his other three siblings while doing so. He's literally stated in the post that he's had to babysit and take care of his younger siblings while still a child himself. He's done his time it's the younger kids turn now. Also diss guest? When did he do that? They shouldn't even have guest around because this literally took place IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PANDEMIC. Are you one of those people who's against the regulations? You sound like it.
And it's not the parents responsibility to give him a place to live for free. After all he is an adult. I say that parents tell him, 'Either get off you butt and help around the house OR start paying rent/food OR move out on your own.' He shouldn't be required to watch the baby, but it might be nice to offer a couple evenings a month so the parents have a couple hour break but not required, But he SHOULD definitely be pulling his weight around the home if he expects to live there for free.
@@middaydraws3379 She's not entitled. They young man in the video is the entitled one. How can he contribute to the household if by his own words he is locked in his bedroom 24/7??? I thought it was pretty evident from what he posted that he is not contributing around the home.
@@middaydraws3379 entitled?? Lol..are you sure you even know what the actual meaning of that word is? Nothing I said would make me "entitled" however it fits the OP to a T! I would strongly suggest you look up the definition! nope I am absolutely not "against the regulations"...I live in a state that is STILL in lockdown! Just because you don't like what I have to say doesn't mean you can assume that I "sound like I am against the regulations"! You told me to think back to when I went to university...well my parents were not concerned with if we got a higher education or not...not only the fact that they could not/would not have even considered paying for it they would have laughed in my face if I thought I would live at their house past the age of 18 and not work! Have you been to college yet? If so did you really find it that difficult and not have time to do anything but study? Personally, I attended a university and got my degree while raising 2 kids, worked full time, took care of a household (by myself for the most part since my husband was deployed much of the time) and maintained a 4.0 GPA...so no, I think it is ridiculous to hear people complain about it. Paid his parents back? If he is living in their home and they are paying the bills then no, there should be contributions made by the OP and if occasionally helping out with the baby is what they ask of him/her then thats what needs to be done...you can disagree all you want but again, their house, their rules and there us a simple way to not have to follow their rules and that is to move out...dont want to move out? Then follow their rules!🙂
@@bunnynjesus4eva well then there you go...problem solved. Unfortunately, many kids have to put up with much worse than that while living at home and parents are supporting them...its not fair but until one can support themselves that is how it is!
Is the sister gatekeeping infertility? There can be more than one person in the family can be infertile married in or biological. She can mourn her losses but to keep pumping money into IVF doesn’t make her pain any greater. She can’t use her trauma as the standard model for infertility I hope she realizes that sooner than later.
Coworker lunch story - what f'ing dimension does the Coworker exist in? "You gotta buy me lunch" " no" "Boss, OP is being hostile" "no boss, CW is a mooch" (collective agrees) "Op why you upset I was just joking..." Who was CW joking to? The boss, when reporting hostile work place? OP only got hostile in self-defense.
I wear headphones all the time. It's my way of keeping myself entertained while my kids are doing their virtual learning, my husband always plays video games with his headset on and yells at the TV, and on top of that I'm hearing impaired so I hear everybody else's stuff over what I'm watching cuz theirs' is much louder. Story #1 to do what you got to do to survive.
I'm training a service dog right now and every time someone tries to do 'training', even if they honestly have good intentions, and do it wrong it always pains me. Bad habits are very easily learned and take ages to untrain. They require a pretty decent amount of training and someone trying to need that up would be gone on a heartbeat.
For the Body-Pillow story I'd say the only one who was really the A-hole was his mom. She should have minded her own business, it doesn't matter if walked past their room and saw chains hanging from the ceiling and a rack of floggers, she should have kept her opinion to herself. It's a good thing the OP made a compromise to make her husband comfortable because that's what good partners do for each other but he really shouldn't allow someone else to interfere in their marriage like that. It really makes me wonder how often he's going to make decisions in their marriage based on what his mommy thinks is best.
I listen to these when I sleep on the bus... Imagine my shock when as I'm finally drifting off I hear "...the anime body pillow that saved my marriage"
Yeah... that TikTok gf didn’t give a shit about her bf, just her followers. “Most are other soldiers stationed on base” and I’d be willing to bet some of those were in her room when she posted it. Also dependas were mentioned so for those that don’t know: dependas are spouses that look specifically for military members to marry so they don’t have to work, get socialized healthcare and other benefits. The full word is dependapotomus because they usually inflate to unreal proportions no matter how fit they were before getting married.
Service dog story, As someone that was mentally abused by a sibling into young adulthood, where do you think OP's issues stem from in the first place. He has probably been abused by that brother most of his life. Get him out!
There are no rules about not being able to tell people what tasks a service dog does. There are just rules stating that you don't have to list the tasks they do.
the body pillow one…i cannot believe i heard the word “traumatic” about that post. if these people have no other problems in their marriage than this pillow they are doing better than 99% of married couples nowadays. so ridiculous
To the last post- i would be very concerned for the child. If they think all black people are servants, won't they think this baby is inherently worse than any other children they may get? Seems like the lead up to major abuse. I hope they dont get any other surrogacy
The babysitting one, wow, my older sister is exactly like the husband. If mum wouldn't babysit her 3 kids as she was going out herself, she would send them around by themselves in their nightwear and a coat. We are nc, have been since our mum passed. Sis stole from her, also her daughters, on a regular basis, until I opened a bank account for her to save her spare money, that way she could spend it on herself for neccessaties. Mum could not get out or upstairs so the young man from Halifax bank came to her to sign and I kept her bank book so no one could draw on it, they couldn't anyway as I was the only one signed to do so on her behalf. Mum got herself a nice recliner chair and a few other things for her own comfort and the young bank clerk visited her often, he passed her house on his way home, he thought the world of her. When she passed away he was as upset as I. I took my niece, sisters older daughter, as a witness with me to have the remainder of her savings made out as a cheque to the funeral director. I called it her extra insurance as hers was for only £500. I had extra to pay for the headstone, nothing from so called sister. Not spoken to her since, quite a few years now. I learned from co workers she had moved, not told me, soon after the funeral. I had a letter from her 5 years later saying how much she missed me and would like to see me etc, then please don't tell my 3 kids, all adult, but could you lend me £200 to pay my phone bill as she had just lost her job, she never kept a job for more than 3 months. I ignored it. I heard from my niece that after 10 years now her mother still harps on the fact I held mum's bank book lol
Dude I’m not saying I don’t feel bad for the mum in the last story but holy shit, do not let them take this baby. This sounds like an abusive situation in the making. Edit: Thank goodness. And yes sue that horrid couple out of the sky. Nasty assholes.
2nd story-NTA..why is MIL trying to cause a problem where there wasn't any, the pillow actually solved an issue in the marriage. We all have stuff in our bedroom that isnt suppose to be seen by others, the pillow wasnt even a problem until the mom said anything. She really need to mind her own business it wasn't even a serious issue. Compromise in a couple is always great, just wasn't really needed in this instance.
OP with the abusive, neglectful Father trying to guilt his son into forcing him stay at his home, NTA. His entire life was spent being second best, he wasn’t the golden child, he had to give a kidney to his half brother and the family was ungrateful, they kicked him out after he gave a kidney, they didn’t care enough to even attempt to stay in contact. Why would you want to help them? I’ve cut my own abusive biological family for their repeated abuse when I grew up and my younger adult years, physical violence from my brother than my mother enabled, psychological abuse from my mother, weaponising my disabilities, homophobia, forcing me to bring up my brother when I myself was a child, being hospitalised several times because of my brothers violence which my mother enabled and blamed me for, etc etc. So I cut all contact, but I’ve been left with cPTSD & PTSD, and permanent nerve damage which has left me mostly bedridden, I want nothing to do with them and most people have respected this wish of mine because they know what abuse I suffered as they’d witnessed some form of it in my life. If I was contacted out of the blue and had my mother tell me “I need to stay at yours”, she’d be told exactly where to go. She picked my brother as the golden child and all he’s done is make her life difficult, get arrested for bank/personal fraud, get arrested for assaults, is incapable of looking after himself and is highly unstable, and I would tell her to go live with him instead of bothering me. Your parents are not your responsibility, especially when they were never there for you and treated you beyond horribly, you owe them nothing.
Story - DMZ-chan NTA - hubby needs to develop more of a spine and sense of humor. If he had laughed it off with his mother saying "ick mom, we just needed something heavy" and explained his crawling at night to protect you end of issue and mom laughing. The way he did do it MIL will forever be wondering what happened.
Op with the mil that keeps butting into her son's care set up with the Dr. and clinic a password so that no one but people that have the password can have any access to the records. Get a restraining order on mil. Good luck hun.
Babysitter story: I think the BF is getting paid to babysit and passing the kids off on OP. That is the only reason that I can come up with why he had all those kids with him.
Very slight AH, for anime pillow fan, I see her point of not wanting to change pillow cases because the whole point of spending money when they don’t have to and such, but even if spouse didn’t have concerns before, he did eventually decide that it was tacky and his compromise of changing pillow cases was reasonable. I think a small part of OP didn’t want to lose that bit of history, so I can’t judge them too harshly. The true AH in this story is MIL, why is she going into her son and DIL room in the first place? She is a guest and even if she lived in that household, she still wouldn’t have a right. That is breach of privacy and she should be called out on it. She is snooping and if son allows this behaviour in the future, she is going to interfere with other aspects of marriage. OP and husband should make it very clear that MIL is not welcome if she crosses boundaries again.
Agree! What sort of mil snoops in her married kid's room? What if it adult fun home toys? What if it was pron? Jeez! Stay out of other people's bedrooms unless explicitly invited. Also, what the heck did she think they were doing with a body pillow? A three way?! Lulz 😂
The story about the sister baby sitting why is this guy going this far to help his ex that his wife doesn’t even know? Like you didn’t think her sister would tell on you?
I feel that maybe you should go see a lawyer about your mother in law. See if there is somehow you can get her legally to back off. You were right about reporting your doctor to HIPPA.
On the lazy horrible sahm mom/trans-son story someone made a comment about how they don't understand why the mom felt like they lost their daughter and I would like to add a little insight. While I would definitely and happily support my children if any of them came out to me I do need to add that I too would feel like I lost a daughter. The reason being (and this is much stronger when there is an only child) when we have our children life milestones and dreams happen. For my daughters it was their first "Fancy" school dance and dressing up, Prom and finding that perfect dress. Learning how to do make up and yes other things as well that I look forward to but there are certain things that some mom inheritently want to teach or show their daughters that is O guess "Girly". Teaching them how to do their hair and while they may seem small to most people combined it can be devastating for some women even throwing a Bridal shower and baby shower, dressing up for girls nights, their first time in high heels, their first Father/Daughter dance hell I look forward to my daughter's first Date and helping her find the perfect outfit and then staying up afterwards with them to laugh and giggle over how romantic the person was or laughter and joke about what a dud the person was, giving them my wedding dress as an option for either their own wedding or even prom. Those things individually are small but altogether its like a life long dream. My sons was finding their first favorite car, their puberty and voice crack, their first Date and helping them pick out the best place to go, their favorite sport, giving him advice on dating a girl or boy, their first Mother/Son dance. Getting a suit for prom. And while they all sound the same they aren't. They are incredibly different in many ways. Also you have a child that you watched grow up aquire a personality and you feel like you know your child inside and out. And for some there is never any real indication. Especially as I encourage my boys to play with baby dolls or "Girly toys" and my girls to play with trucks or "Boy toys" as I believe it helps their development into gender equality. Suddenly those things you looked forward to and planned are gone and replaced with new milestones that were not planned on. It is a loss. For some its much harder and not about being trans-phobic but about having a life long dream shattered before our eyes with new one quickly replacing it that we are not equipped to handle. This dream is also why some parents stay in denial because they don't want lose that dream especially with an only child. I hope this helps for some people.
Oh for goodness sake! Are you kidding me? It's not that serious. Truly the issue is that OP & hubby were just fine with the pillow as it was until MIL made a big deal of something not her business then its an issue. Hubby should have told mommy dearest to mind her business and enjoy the inside joke between he and OP. Truly, find a spine and stop allowing outside influences to create issues in your marriage or bedroom in this scenario!
Police dogs are actually abused most service and other working dogs generally are not but police and war dogs are. The way they bite isn’t Normal to non stressed dogs and they’re trained to do so by stressing them out
To the guy who was upset his adoptive mother threw a fit at his sister's wedding. NTA! You checked with your sister before attending as you knew how your "mother" hated you and were assured Mom had been spoken to and would be on her best behavior. What happened is all on her mother here. You did everything reasonable to avoid causing a scene and I think her mother did this on purpose so she could justify "kicking you out of the family". It's time people stop apologizing for her behavior and hold her accountable for her actions. You need to let the rest of the family know what you did and that she had promised to behave and then pulled this. I am sure this will change the minds of a lot of people.
What are they-Duggar’s? I had a cousin who had six younger siblings, and she was responsible for making dinner and supervising them, while mom and stepdad ate steaks on TV trays in the living room.
Im not even gonna lie. I don't even like the father in law OP's approach how ANY of that nonsense was handled, but I think his daughter in law just learned what toxic masculinity is without an actual idea what it means
For the service dog story. I have an assistance dog in training, I can’t go out by myself, I have agoraphobia as well as other things, if my dog Maria isn’t with me my mum or friend has to be on high alert due to two of my other conditions that cause me to pass out, I get very embarrassed about having to ask to stop (from years of being ignored by drs and trying to be ‘normal’) and will try to push through all the warnings, or not notice them until I collapse. Maria alerts to this, if I get turned around and ‘lost’ in a shop she will ground me and lead me back to whoever I’m with, she will also get help if I pass out and keeps me safe if I freeze or dissociate. She has saved my life by getting help and breaking me out of a depression spiral leading to an ending attempt. I can’t take her to my dads or sisters when I visit because they don’t understand how important her training is, and my sisters dogs are badly controlled and put Maria into a dog fear phase which we are working through, my dad try’s to tell her off for sniffling his face (not supper close and not licking, for other/‘normal’ people sneezing/blowing their nose it’s a quick sniff) and I had to explain that she’s been trained to do this for me and an unfortunate side effect is she does it to everyone when she’s “off duty” (when we’re not actively out or her working) he ‘understands’ for the rest of the day or the next (we do have a “you don’t need to check this time” phrase) but goes back to telling her off (without telling her “off” or “leave”) and gets grumpy with her and she has missed alerts afterwards. Doing things either without her or while having to reinforce/ top up her training makes simple things harder, and more scary. So I completely understand op, and he’s NTA in removing a factor that’s disturbing his life and routine, especially when it’s making his dog uncomfortable too.
Great to relax to you telling stories Aussie. My late husband, like our daughter, did not like sleeping with someone else. Our solution was twin beds hitched to a king sized headboard. When made it looked like one but at nite we separated them slightly.
The last story is horrible! All discussions about the pros and cons of surrogacy aside, people like that should never, ever have children. Hopefully, they get blacklisted somehow, but since that can't be done worldwide I'm afraid they will find a way to get a child.
49:10 -ish In the US it's a federal crime to intentionally mess with a service dog. It's considered more a federally protected right as they are medical equipment since disabilities have heavily protected accommodations.
DMZ Chan story. Get the pillowcase and have it screen printed with justnoMIL Just kidding. Good on OP for compromising. Btw we used to have blanket wars until I followed a youtubers advice and got us separate duvets...single for hubby as he doesn't like feeling mummiwrapped and a queen for me because I'm fat and need the coverage and really feel the cold. In summer he has a sheet and I have a light rug.
I know right!! It is absolutely ridiculous that they would expect some help from their 21 year old ADULT daughter Iike this...unbelievable! There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
Secound story, just get a different pillowcasing without the anime on, something with pattern on, so it just looks like a regular pillow. That way its not embaressing.
53:40 As someone going into the healthcare field, it doesn't matter how someone is related to the patient. They aren't allowed to disclose classified information unless it's under very, very specific circumstances. Such as if you're a danger to yourself or others and they have to disclose your information to someone. I've seen children and parents of patients being refused information, even though the patient doesn't mind. The patient or the caretaking for the patient (OP in this case) has to give consent. 56:43 Leave that man right away, he's trash. Your girlfriend just misses you and is having a good time, you need to work out your issues with people you call friends and not be criticizing your girlfriend when she's not the problem. She clearly cares about you and it honestly sounds like you don't deserve her.
Again...it is NEVER the responsibility of siblings to take care of each other. It is the parents!
Just because OP has to be at home because of the current situation doesn't mean OP is now available as a babysitter. If OP was away at college the parents would have to manage without him. OP has to study and needs to be left in peace to get on with his studies. If OP's parents weren't making such unreasonable demands and constantly interrupting him he wouldn't need to wear earplugs and headphones.
My husband and I had twin beds joined to a king sized headboard, each with its own sheets and blankets. We slept side by side but separated so no blanket wars and he was not able to sleep sharing a bed. We could still touch tho.🤗💕
This reminds me of I Love Lucy ❣️ though it does make me wonder how they managed to have a kid...
I just would like to say as someone who works in the medical field that HIPAA makes no exceptions for family members. It doesn't matter if the person is a parent, child, sibling, or grandparent. Literally the only family exception is biological parents to minor children.
The doctor would know the consequences of a HIPAA violation and should have known a complaint would be lodged against them when they violated the parent's specific instructions to not share their child's medical information.
The doctor brought all that down on themselves and OP is not the ahole.
The person with the support dog is absolutely not the a-hole. They're setting very clear and concise boundaries "This is my dog, this is how I train him, stop trying to undo that"... It's not even about the dog being a service dog, sabotaging the training of any dog is a huge violation of someones trust. This guys brother sounds like a terrible person and it seems pretty understandable that he lost his job. It seems like he is acting out to try and perceive some form of control on his life.
First story: NTA the parents are the A**holes because it’s not Op’s responsibility, he’s already trying to get through college and with three other capable younger siblings who can help!
OP is living at home, and I'm guessing if he were paying rent he would have put that front and center. He needs to pull his weight. That doesn't mean parenting. It means being available at times to help out with household tasks, and using it as a way to snub visitors is straight-up rude. Nothing wrong with using earbuds to sleep though.
@@ohnooffwego I ABSOLUTELY AGREE 100%!! Thank you!
I understand that this person is 21, an adult!! I think that they should have a talk with their parents about how unacceptable it is the next time their rent payment is due!! Oh wait!! The parents are 100% supporting their 21 year old ass (and trust me, they don't have to be doing that...my parents along with thousands of others would never even consider allowing their child to live at home, rent free at the age of 21. When I mentioned an interest in college my parents told me I was an adult therefore figure it out.)
If their parents are paying all the bills and allowing them to live there rent free then they should not complain too much about helping out (a reasonable amount of help) and to simply listen out for the baby...again, within reason. If they don't like it and feel like you said, that the parents are the assholes then this person should most definitely immediately move out and pay their own rent, utilities, insurance, groceries, internet, satellite or cable, possibly a car payment, cell phone, etc. It would be interesting to see how much time they have to sleep and lie around with their headphones on then!! And it is not unreasonable to expect someone to do that while in college. I attended college fulltime, worked a full time job, took care of a household, raised 2 kids, maintaining a GPA of 4.0 AND did it by myself for the most part because my husband was military and at that time stayed deployed and then got transferred all the way across the country while we stayed so that I could finish my degree at that university!
OP is a college student. That is their job, front and center. The parents decided to have another baby, not OP. OP being home doesn’t mean they are suddenly available for babysitting or parenting their own kids. They have essentially a full-time job with education as it is. And if they need help, they should get the other siblings to help first. I agree that OP should still hang out with family and maybe don’t go full no-contact when not sleeping or in school, but older children are not your free babysitters.
@@wolvesrfun When you live in a house for free you help out. It doesn't matter if it's babysitting, cooking, cleaning, or any number of other possible contributions. Adults have full-time jobs AND maintain a household. OP is incredibly privileged to not be working a part-time job as well. It sounds like he needs a taste of the real world. Maybe he should move out, get his own place, and learn what it takes to support himself.
I wouldn't care about mother-in-law. Anime Pillow case or not. MIL can go somewhere with that drama. Its not your pillow, it's not your problem. Dont butt your head where it doesnt belong and make your son/daughter feel bad for owning a pillow case you dont like. They bought it cause they do. They live in their own home, you have no control.
Oy...what couples do in their bedroom is no ones business unless they’re involved.
With the headphones story, my aunt used to be weird about stuff like that, that's one of the reasons I moved out of my house. She said "What if someone broke in and hurt me?" Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do against someone with the power to break into the house? what if I'm out of the house and she gets hurt? People who make excuses for not letting people avoid sensory overload (and sleep deprivation) are some of the worst people.
As the eldest sibling too, I'll say: let your younger siblings help out, you've done your share already. It's their problem now.
I can definitely relate to this story! I've been doing that combination for years and have gotten a LOT of flack about it. My neighbors/family is very noisy--slamming doors, hitting the walls with furniture or whatever, taking their phone calls and talking in front of my door. I've complained about it several times which only resulted in them getting nasty and louder, so I started wearing headphones and playing the radio all day so that I can't hear them. Best idea I ever came up with!
Lol...yes it is their problem ultimately, absolutely. I also understand that this person is 21, an adult!! I think that they should have a talk with their parents about how unacceptable it is the next time their rent payment is due!! Oh wait!! The parents are 100% supporting their 21 year old ass (and trust me, they don't have to be doing that...my parents along with thousands of others would never even consider allowing their child to live at home, rent free at the age of 21. When I mentioned an interest in college my parents told me I was an adult therefore figure it out.
If their parent are paying all the bills and allowing them to live their rent free then they should not complain to much about helping out (a reasonable amount of help) and to simply listen out for the baby...again, within reason. If they don't like it and feel like you said, that it is the parent problem then they should most definitely immediately move out and pay their own rent, utilities, insurance, groceries, internet, satellite or cable, possibly a car payment, cell phone, etc. It would be interesting to see how much time they have to sleep and lie around with their headphones on then!! And it is not unreasonable to expect someone to do that while in college. I attended college fulltime, worked a full time job, took care of a household, raised 2 kids, maintaining a GPA of 4.0 AND did it by myself for the most part because my husband was military and at that time stayed deployed and then got transferred all the way across the country while we stayed so that I could finish my degree at that university!
@@PrimateProductions good for you sis lol
@@SilverstreamPJ28 I'm not asking for recognition or a pat on the back im just trying to make the point that its not that difficult for someone to go to college and work at the same time.
@@PrimateProductions this person has younger siblings, they have done their part taking care of babies. There's enough people in that house to watch that child. Its not about how hard it is, it's the principle that they should be available for help when they haven't been asked/are the oldest. Let the other fucking kids do their bidding.
Fertility Issues: I'm post full LAVH. No ovaries, no uterus, due to severe endometriosis. I now get my hormones in a monthly shot. I would say OPs wife has the exact same fertility issues I currently due. No physical difference.
The OP with the lazy wife should have left her when she decided not to support your son and his feelings. As a mother I can NOT fathom how a mother could act like that about their child.
The service dog story kinda reminded me of entitled parents who think allergies are fake and secretly make the op eat what they're allergic to.
The only way I agree with the parents in #1 is that it’s dangerous to not be able to hear your siblings if you are the only adult home, as well as fire emergencies. But if everyone is home and OP needs to study, all you have to do is say “I’m putting my headphones on to study”. I work in an office environment and everyone I work with has earbuds or headphones because sometimes you just have to concentrate.
TW: ab*se and r*pe mention
I have c-PTSD also, and if someone said what OP said to his girlfriend to me, I would hear so much more. I wouldn't just hear " I could keep you here if I want" I also would hear "I could ab*se u and u couldn't do anything about it" and "if I r*ped u you would have no one to turn to and no place to go". I know that that it super extreme and sad but that is what trauma can do to you. OP was so so so the a-hole
Story 1 is ridiculous. OP is a student, they need good rest to be able to keep up with studying. The parents aren’t upset because OP is “closed off from the family”, they’re upset because they can’t rely on OP for free childcare and are upset OP is locking their door so they have privacy, that’s what they’re actually upset about.
40 year old adults don't NEED the adult children to watch the new sibling
There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
Regarding your comment:
21 year old adults (they have been adults for a whole 3 years at this point) don't NEED their parents to allow them to live in their home rent free and to 100% support them financially while going to college without the expectation of helping out and contributing to the family.
@@PrimateProductions they in school a d would have been at school if it wasn't for the pandemic. they had to pay for dorm etc. plus not a lot of college kids have time for jobs depending on classes.
@@azadalamiq are you kidding me? Have you been to college yet?
Did you even read all of my comment?
Who "had to pay for the dorm, etc"? The parents?
How exactly do you think that so many adults who already have jobs and kids and take care if their homes and bills and kids go back to college and get a degree(many who are paying for all of those things PLUS college)?
@@PrimateProductions parents paying for a kid's college? Lmao! If only! C'mon students obviously take out loans. Haven't you heard crippling student loans are on the economy and individuals?
Kid should literally move in with any friend or extended family member they have and just get out of it. Then their family can't complain. :) oh no! They'd have to care of their own crotch goblins! :o
For body pillow story, am I the only one that heard "ramen juiced thrashing" instead of actual"R.E.M induced"??? Lol
Heard it too, didn't even know what it should have been until you pointed it out!
I also, paused & repeated it in my head "Oooh REM! Gotcha" Then listened again & heard it clearly.
Weird thing the pillow is op's pillow
How ridiculous. If my mother came over and took exception to my anime or whatever, she knows better than to harass me over it. You know, because I’m a freaking adult and don’t need others’ approval for my every decision. The only person I’m beholden to for things like that is my wife, and she’s a goddess.
moocher coworker- NTA; he tattled first, clearing up the issue was self defense
Lol the doctor ruined her own career by breaking hipaa laws 🤣
NTA. They had the baby it is their responsibility. Granted it is dangerous to not be able to hear in case of fire or something. But to parade you around to play happy family for your parents friends when ppl sgouldnt be gathering is stupid.
Not buying the MacBook for the girl who didn’t earn it while buying the PS5 for the son who did is nta. He earned it and she didn’t. It would be unfair to both the son and daughter to buy the unearned reward.
What I found weird was the mother’s reaction to DMZ chan for many years we had a cuddly poodle sitting on our bed that really was a case for my wife’s nightdress and knew of others who did the same with all sorts of nighty case on their bed
Wtf is wrong with miscarriage OPs brother??? I was dating a woman when my sister was pregnant with my niece and she was having problems with her pregnancy. The woman made a comment about how no one needs to go to the hospital that much and that was enough for me to see what kind of person she was and leave her. A good person will be understanding and worry about family or a loved ones family.
> Older kids are not responsible for younger siblings, especially if there's a bunch of them. Don't keep popping out babies if you can't care for them.
> Why tf do parents think their adult kids never do anything "deviant" (not calling the body pillow deviant). It's two grown adult in a bedroom alone together. Do you think they have pillow fights and tea parties?
I said 'Not your issue to appropriate' "Excuse me!?!" No-one is appropriating anything but the sister attempting monopolize. The wife DOES have fertility issues and the sister should recognize that.
That surrogacy story was something else, I really hope those disgusting “parents” are blacklisted from every agency
Had to pause the video and stop drawing cause I immediately got mad at the sister with fertility issues.
"Chose" what does that mean?? You don't choose to be trans, they got into the relationship both agreeing that they want kids and are happy to adopt. Outing your significant other to someone, even if it's your parents, is not okay. OP didn't like nor did he "appropriate"
That's what this is really about they want to shirk baby duty's on to you and are miffed they cant.
Oh yeah...im sure that is what most parents are thinking...let's have another baby and make our oldest kid raise it and see how it turns out!!
I'm thinking its more like this:
There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
Earplugs and such while your sleeping, think about if you can hear the smoke detector. My friend has super hearing and started wearing earplugs in college and still does 30 years latter.
Hey!!!!
1 story: OP is NTA it's not OP responsibility to take care of the baby if the pandemic wasn't going on they wouldn't be home so no I'm over entitled parents forcing their older children to take care of a sibling the parents had the baby and they should take care of the baby and the parents are TA
Oh, did they say that they would not be living at home if it were not for the virus? There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
@@PrimateProductions You're really entitled aren't you? You do realize that not a lot of places are hiring due to said pandemic (By the way this was originally posted last year). Also where the hell does he say that he doesn't contribute? He's never said he doesn't watch her when asked and he doesn't say that he never helps around the house. You're really reaching by assuming he does none of this and by assuming he simply lays around. I think you've forgotten what college is like because other wise you'd remember how time consuming it is and how important sleep is for you to be able to actually pass. Looking at your other comment it feels more and more like that.
He's already paid his parents back when he was growing up as he's had to watch his other three siblings while doing so. He's literally stated in the post that he's had to babysit and take care of his younger siblings while still a child himself. He's done his time it's the younger kids turn now.
Also diss guest? When did he do that? They shouldn't even have guest around because this literally took place IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PANDEMIC. Are you one of those people who's against the regulations? You sound like it.
And it's not the parents responsibility to give him a place to live for free. After all he is an adult. I say that parents tell him, 'Either get off you butt and help around the house OR start paying rent/food OR move out on your own.' He shouldn't be required to watch the baby, but it might be nice to offer a couple evenings a month so the parents have a couple hour break but not required, But he SHOULD definitely be pulling his weight around the home if he expects to live there for free.
@@middaydraws3379 She's not entitled. They young man in the video is the entitled one. How can he contribute to the household if by his own words he is locked in his bedroom 24/7??? I thought it was pretty evident from what he posted that he is not contributing around the home.
@@middaydraws3379 entitled?? Lol..are you sure you even know what the actual meaning of that word is? Nothing I said would make me "entitled" however it fits the OP to a T! I would strongly suggest you look up the definition!
nope I am absolutely not "against the regulations"...I live in a state that is STILL in lockdown! Just because you don't like what I have to say doesn't mean you can assume that I "sound like I am against the regulations"!
You told me to think back to when I went to university...well my parents were not concerned with if we got a higher education or not...not only the fact that they could not/would not have even considered paying for it they would have laughed in my face if I thought I would live at their house past the age of 18 and not work! Have you been to college yet? If so did you really find it that difficult and not have time to do anything but study? Personally, I attended a university and got my degree while raising 2 kids, worked full time, took care of a household (by myself for the most part since my husband was deployed much of the time) and maintained a 4.0 GPA...so no, I think it is ridiculous to hear people complain about it.
Paid his parents back? If he is living in their home and they are paying the bills then no, there should be contributions made by the OP and if occasionally helping out with the baby is what they ask of him/her then thats what needs to be done...you can disagree all you want but again, their house, their rules and there us a simple way to not have to follow their rules and that is to move out...dont want to move out? Then follow their rules!🙂
My oldest sister(of 5 kids) was a mini mom. She worked went to school and helped with kids. It wasn't fair to her.
Then she should have moved out if she was an adult and it wasn't fair! Problem solved!
@@PrimateProductions she did the day she turned 18
@@PrimateProductions she got her apartment within a couple weeks and already had a car and insurance that she payed for herself.
@@bunnynjesus4eva well then there you go...problem solved. Unfortunately, many kids have to put up with much worse than that while living at home and parents are supporting them...its not fair but until one can support themselves that is how it is!
@@PrimateProductions ok?
Is the sister gatekeeping infertility? There can be more than one person in the family can be infertile married in or biological. She can mourn her losses but to keep pumping money into IVF doesn’t make her pain any greater. She can’t use her trauma as the standard model for infertility I hope she realizes that sooner than later.
Coworker lunch story - what f'ing dimension does the Coworker exist in? "You gotta buy me lunch" " no" "Boss, OP is being hostile" "no boss, CW is a mooch" (collective agrees) "Op why you upset I was just joking..." Who was CW joking to? The boss, when reporting hostile work place? OP only got hostile in self-defense.
The mooch tried to get the OP in trouble, so he deserved whatever trouble he got in.
I wear headphones all the time. It's my way of keeping myself entertained while my kids are doing their virtual learning, my husband always plays video games with his headset on and yells at the TV, and on top of that I'm hearing impaired so I hear everybody else's stuff over what I'm watching cuz theirs' is much louder. Story #1 to do what you got to do to survive.
I'm training a service dog right now and every time someone tries to do 'training', even if they honestly have good intentions, and do it wrong it always pains me. Bad habits are very easily learned and take ages to untrain. They require a pretty decent amount of training and someone trying to need that up would be gone on a heartbeat.
Most youtubers: Censor swears.
Markee: Dang? Who says dang, I'm saying damn because I want to!
For the Body-Pillow story I'd say the only one who was really the A-hole was his mom. She should have minded her own business, it doesn't matter if walked past their room and saw chains hanging from the ceiling and a rack of floggers, she should have kept her opinion to herself. It's a good thing the OP made a compromise to make her husband comfortable because that's what good partners do for each other but he really shouldn't allow someone else to interfere in their marriage like that. It really makes me wonder how often he's going to make decisions in their marriage based on what his mommy thinks is best.
If his co-worker never scammed anyone not the a hole. You don’t owe your co-worker lunch for free
I listen to these when I sleep on the bus... Imagine my shock when as I'm finally drifting off I hear "...the anime body pillow that saved my marriage"
Christ, the surrogate story is AWFUL how dare the couple be so cruel to the surrogate mum. She’s doing them a favour!
Yeah... that TikTok gf didn’t give a shit about her bf, just her followers. “Most are other soldiers stationed on base” and I’d be willing to bet some of those were in her room when she posted it. Also dependas were mentioned so for those that don’t know: dependas are spouses that look specifically for military members to marry so they don’t have to work, get socialized healthcare and other benefits. The full word is dependapotomus because they usually inflate to unreal proportions no matter how fit they were before getting married.
Service dog story, As someone that was mentally abused by a sibling into young adulthood, where do you think OP's issues stem from in the first place. He has probably been abused by that brother most of his life. Get him out!
There are no rules about not being able to tell people what tasks a service dog does. There are just rules stating that you don't have to list the tasks they do.
the body pillow one…i cannot believe i heard the word “traumatic” about that post. if these people have no other problems in their marriage than this pillow they are doing better than 99% of married couples nowadays. so ridiculous
Two expensive beds vs one plain pillowcase? Decisions, decisions...
To the last post- i would be very concerned for the child. If they think all black people are servants, won't they think this baby is inherently worse than any other children they may get? Seems like the lead up to major abuse. I hope they dont get any other surrogacy
why does absolutely noone know what "gaslighting" is anymore?
its not a heabily used term, nor is it taught. I first learned about it just a year or so ago.
The babysitting one, wow, my older sister is exactly like the husband. If mum wouldn't babysit her 3 kids as she was going out herself, she would send them around by themselves in their nightwear and a coat. We are nc, have been since our mum passed. Sis stole from her, also her daughters, on a regular basis, until I opened a bank account for her to save her spare money, that way she could spend it on herself for neccessaties. Mum could not get out or upstairs so the young man from Halifax bank came to her to sign and I kept her bank book so no one could draw on it, they couldn't anyway as I was the only one signed to do so on her behalf. Mum got herself a nice recliner chair and a few other things for her own comfort and the young bank clerk visited her often, he passed her house on his way home, he thought the world of her. When she passed away he was as upset as I. I took my niece, sisters older daughter, as a witness with me to have the remainder of her savings made out as a cheque to the funeral director. I called it her extra insurance as hers was for only £500. I had extra to pay for the headstone, nothing from so called sister. Not spoken to her since, quite a few years now. I learned from co workers she had moved, not told me, soon after the funeral. I had a letter from her 5 years later saying how much she missed me and would like to see me etc, then please don't tell my 3 kids, all adult, but could you lend me £200 to pay my phone bill as she had just lost her job, she never kept a job for more than 3 months. I ignored it. I heard from my niece that after 10 years now her mother still harps on the fact I held mum's bank book lol
Dude I’m not saying I don’t feel bad for the mum in the last story but holy shit, do not let them take this baby. This sounds like an abusive situation in the making.
Edit: Thank goodness. And yes sue that horrid couple out of the sky. Nasty assholes.
If your happy with the 'stach, that's what matters.
The story of mil going to doctors over her grandson; are you sure your husband didn't tell mil who and where the new doctor is?
2nd story-NTA..why is MIL trying to cause a problem where there wasn't any, the pillow actually solved an issue in the marriage. We all have stuff in our bedroom that isnt suppose to be seen by others, the pillow wasnt even a problem until the mom said anything. She really need to mind her own business it wasn't even a serious issue. Compromise in a couple is always great, just wasn't really needed in this instance.
OP with the abusive, neglectful Father trying to guilt his son into forcing him stay at his home, NTA. His entire life was spent being second best, he wasn’t the golden child, he had to give a kidney to his half brother and the family was ungrateful, they kicked him out after he gave a kidney, they didn’t care enough to even attempt to stay in contact. Why would you want to help them?
I’ve cut my own abusive biological family for their repeated abuse when I grew up and my younger adult years, physical violence from my brother than my mother enabled, psychological abuse from my mother, weaponising my disabilities, homophobia, forcing me to bring up my brother when I myself was a child, being hospitalised several times because of my brothers violence which my mother enabled and blamed me for, etc etc. So I cut all contact, but I’ve been left with cPTSD & PTSD, and permanent nerve damage which has left me mostly bedridden, I want nothing to do with them and most people have respected this wish of mine because they know what abuse I suffered as they’d witnessed some form of it in my life.
If I was contacted out of the blue and had my mother tell me “I need to stay at yours”, she’d be told exactly where to go. She picked my brother as the golden child and all he’s done is make her life difficult, get arrested for bank/personal fraud, get arrested for assaults, is incapable of looking after himself and is highly unstable, and I would tell her to go live with him instead of bothering me.
Your parents are not your responsibility, especially when they were never there for you and treated you beyond horribly, you owe them nothing.
Story - DMZ-chan
NTA - hubby needs to develop more of a spine and sense of humor. If he had laughed it off with his mother saying "ick mom, we just needed something heavy" and explained his crawling at night to protect you end of issue and mom laughing. The way he did do it MIL will forever be wondering what happened.
sister is a nitwit for thinking you could not have fertility issues too.
Op with the mil that keeps butting into her son's care set up with the Dr. and clinic a password so that no one but people that have the password can have any access to the records. Get a restraining order on mil. Good luck hun.
Babysitter story: I think the BF is getting paid to babysit and passing the kids off on OP. That is the only reason that I can come up with why he had all those kids with him.
Very slight AH, for anime pillow fan, I see her point of not wanting to change pillow cases because the whole point of spending money when they don’t have to and such, but even if spouse didn’t have concerns before, he did eventually decide that it was tacky and his compromise of changing pillow cases was reasonable. I think a small part of OP didn’t want to lose that bit of history, so I can’t judge them too harshly. The true AH in this story is MIL, why is she going into her son and DIL room in the first place? She is a guest and even if she lived in that household, she still wouldn’t have a right. That is breach of privacy and she should be called out on it. She is snooping and if son allows this behaviour in the future, she is going to interfere with other aspects of marriage. OP and husband should make it very clear that MIL is not welcome if she crosses boundaries again.
Agree!
What sort of mil snoops in her married kid's room? What if it adult fun home toys? What if it was pron? Jeez! Stay out of other people's bedrooms unless explicitly invited.
Also, what the heck did she think they were doing with a body pillow? A three way?! Lulz 😂
Tell hubby, he's an grown-up adult and he no longer has to obey his his mommy.
Uhg that chick is already turning into one of "those" military wives and she's not even his wife yet oof gl with that op.
The story about the sister baby sitting why is this guy going this far to help his ex that his wife doesn’t even know? Like you didn’t think her sister would tell on you?
I feel that maybe you should go see a lawyer about your mother in law. See if there is somehow you can get her legally to back off. You were right about reporting your doctor to HIPPA.
When he finally gets out don't take chances, change all the locks and put some locks on the windows
On the lazy horrible sahm mom/trans-son story someone made a comment about how they don't understand why the mom felt like they lost their daughter and I would like to add a little insight. While I would definitely and happily support my children if any of them came out to me I do need to add that I too would feel like I lost a daughter. The reason being (and this is much stronger when there is an only child) when we have our children life milestones and dreams happen. For my daughters it was their first "Fancy" school dance and dressing up, Prom and finding that perfect dress. Learning how to do make up and yes other things as well that I look forward to but there are certain things that some mom inheritently want to teach or show their daughters that is O guess "Girly". Teaching them how to do their hair and while they may seem small to most people combined it can be devastating for some women even throwing a Bridal shower and baby shower, dressing up for girls nights, their first time in high heels, their first Father/Daughter dance hell I look forward to my daughter's first Date and helping her find the perfect outfit and then staying up afterwards with them to laugh and giggle over how romantic the person was or laughter and joke about what a dud the person was, giving them my wedding dress as an option for either their own wedding or even prom. Those things individually are small but altogether its like a life long dream. My sons was finding their first favorite car, their puberty and voice crack, their first Date and helping them pick out the best place to go, their favorite sport, giving him advice on dating a girl or boy, their first Mother/Son dance. Getting a suit for prom. And while they all sound the same they aren't. They are incredibly different in many ways. Also you have a child that you watched grow up aquire a personality and you feel like you know your child inside and out. And for some there is never any real indication. Especially as I encourage my boys to play with baby dolls or "Girly toys" and my girls to play with trucks or "Boy toys" as I believe it helps their development into gender equality. Suddenly those things you looked forward to and planned are gone and replaced with new milestones that were not planned on. It is a loss. For some its much harder and not about being trans-phobic but about having a life long dream shattered before our eyes with new one quickly replacing it that we are not equipped to handle. This dream is also why some parents stay in denial because they don't want lose that dream especially with an only child.
I hope this helps for some people.
Oh for goodness sake! Are you kidding me? It's not that serious. Truly the issue is that OP & hubby were just fine with the pillow as it was until MIL made a big deal of something not her business then its an issue. Hubby should have told mommy dearest to mind her business and enjoy the inside joke between he and OP. Truly, find a spine and stop allowing outside influences to create issues in your marriage or bedroom in this scenario!
"I wish I had a pencil thin mustache. The Boston Blackie kind."
"Enemy to those who make him an enemy, friend to those who have no friend." 🕵️♂️😉
The stache looks wonderful. Continue being you. 🇦🇺🏳️🌈
Service dog- no dog picture tax? I feel incomplete....
Police dogs are actually abused most service and other working dogs generally are not but police and war dogs are. The way they bite isn’t Normal to non stressed dogs and they’re trained to do so by stressing them out
To the guy who was upset his adoptive mother threw a fit at his sister's wedding. NTA! You checked with your sister before attending as you knew how your "mother" hated you and were assured Mom had been spoken to and would be on her best behavior. What happened is all on her mother here. You did everything reasonable to avoid causing a scene and I think her mother did this on purpose so she could justify "kicking you out of the family". It's time people stop apologizing for her behavior and hold her accountable for her actions. You need to let the rest of the family know what you did and that she had promised to behave and then pulled this. I am sure this will change the minds of a lot of people.
What are they-Duggar’s? I had a cousin who had six younger siblings, and she was responsible for making dinner and supervising them, while mom and stepdad ate steaks on TV trays in the living room.
I wish my husband and I had room for two beds. I love my partner so much & love the snuggles but we move a lot while sleeping.
First story
NTA even if the baby was OP's first sibling
Not his kid, not his problem
Hey somebody bring up Ireland so I can make you get me a ticket to fly there lol. Oh wait, you just did! Lmao
Im not even gonna lie. I don't even like the father in law OP's approach how ANY of that nonsense was handled, but I think his daughter in law just learned what toxic masculinity is without an actual idea what it means
For the service dog story. I have an assistance dog in training, I can’t go out by myself, I have agoraphobia as well as other things, if my dog Maria isn’t with me my mum or friend has to be on high alert due to two of my other conditions that cause me to pass out, I get very embarrassed about having to ask to stop (from years of being ignored by drs and trying to be ‘normal’) and will try to push through all the warnings, or not notice them until I collapse. Maria alerts to this, if I get turned around and ‘lost’ in a shop she will ground me and lead me back to whoever I’m with, she will also get help if I pass out and keeps me safe if I freeze or dissociate. She has saved my life by getting help and breaking me out of a depression spiral leading to an ending attempt. I can’t take her to my dads or sisters when I visit because they don’t understand how important her training is, and my sisters dogs are badly controlled and put Maria into a dog fear phase which we are working through, my dad try’s to tell her off for sniffling his face (not supper close and not licking, for other/‘normal’ people sneezing/blowing their nose it’s a quick sniff) and I had to explain that she’s been trained to do this for me and an unfortunate side effect is she does it to everyone when she’s “off duty” (when we’re not actively out or her working) he ‘understands’ for the rest of the day or the next (we do have a “you don’t need to check this time” phrase) but goes back to telling her off (without telling her “off” or “leave”) and gets grumpy with her and she has missed alerts afterwards. Doing things either without her or while having to reinforce/ top up her training makes simple things harder, and more scary. So I completely understand op, and he’s NTA in removing a factor that’s disturbing his life and routine, especially when it’s making his dog uncomfortable too.
What am I doing for lunch? Your wife...
Great to relax to you telling stories Aussie. My late husband, like our daughter, did not like sleeping with someone else. Our solution was twin beds hitched to a king sized headboard. When made it looked like one but at nite we separated them slightly.
I love beards and goatee, as long as its NOT a neck beard...also I also love bald heads too ...lol
Markee lookin’ like a dashing pirate. 😘
The last story is horrible! All discussions about the pros and cons of surrogacy aside, people like that should never, ever have children. Hopefully, they get blacklisted somehow, but since that can't be done worldwide I'm afraid they will find a way to get a child.
Don't give in. They don't pay you enough to watch that many children. If they pay you at all.
Markee, can you use the time stamps for the beginning of each story?
Thank you for the fab job btw
49:10 -ish In the US it's a federal crime to intentionally mess with a service dog. It's considered more a federally protected right as they are medical equipment since disabilities have heavily protected accommodations.
It is just a pillow . MIL is a perv. By the way she reacted.
Ain't nobody's business but yours and your spouse.
Trans people do have legit fertility issues.
In most cases hormone shots make you infertile. Especially in women.
DMZ Chan story. Get the pillowcase and have it screen printed with justnoMIL
Just kidding. Good on OP for compromising. Btw we used to have blanket wars until I followed a youtubers advice and got us separate duvets...single for hubby as he doesn't like feeling mummiwrapped and a queen for me because I'm fat and need the coverage and really feel the cold. In summer he has a sheet and I have a light rug.
Holy shit those parents
I know right!! It is absolutely ridiculous that they would expect some help from their 21 year old ADULT daughter Iike this...unbelievable!
There is a super simple solution to this that would 100% get the OP out of contributing to their family at all and allow them to sleep, lie around, diss guests, etc as much as they wish and not feel guilty about it...I mean, they ARE a 21 year old adult...on the 1st of next month they should write the parents a check for a rent payment as well as pay (or at least a portion of) for everything that their parents currently pay for ie their own cell phone bill, part of the utilities, insurance, internet, satellite or cable their own car payments, groceries, etc!! Problem solved!!
Maybe he should have thought about that
Stand your ground. Doctor broke the law. Mil is out of control and wants to be in control.
Heres my question in the dmz one. Who is north korea and who is south korea
Parentification is a abuse. Keep those headphones on and ear plugs in
Secound story, just get a different pillowcasing without the anime on, something with pattern on, so it just looks like a regular pillow. That way its not embaressing.
The one with the Sil showing the texts won’t help because if the family hasn’t called out her shitty comments in 2 yrs they just don’t care
Personally, I think too much hair is when you start looking like Cousin It from "The Adams Family" lol
53:40 As someone going into the healthcare field, it doesn't matter how someone is related to the patient. They aren't allowed to disclose classified information unless it's under very, very specific circumstances. Such as if you're a danger to yourself or others and they have to disclose your information to someone. I've seen children and parents of patients being refused information, even though the patient doesn't mind. The patient or the caretaking for the patient (OP in this case) has to give consent.
56:43 Leave that man right away, he's trash. Your girlfriend just misses you and is having a good time, you need to work out your issues with people you call friends and not be criticizing your girlfriend when she's not the problem. She clearly cares about you and it honestly sounds like you don't deserve her.