I like the way you encourage her to work on small goals so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Achieving small goals is an excellent approach to treating depression.
As someone who has struggled with depressive episodes for years, this has lots of value - not just the methods used for treating the individual problems, but recognising that there are others out there experiencing the same things! Great actors used in these videos too.
Yes, you are so right! Seeing there are others like me, saying almost the same things that I think about brings a measure of comfort that it's not just me.
I'm on the other side. I was the kid who's mom didn't get up and help me off to school. I ate cold milk and cereal....got dressed and off to walk to school. Now I am a senior citizen and wonder if my mom was depressed. She did faithfully make supper nightly and also kept the house clean.
@@serengeti8886 "recognizing that there are others out there experiencing the same things". One doesn't feel isolated, label and judge one's self and bring about guilt.
I liked the example of challenging the client's labels. When she used the word "lazy", the counselor clarified that this was a word she chose to interpret, not actually what her loved one's said or possibly even feel. Recognizing the difference seems to be one of the first steps to helping the client.
Being a stay at home mom for five years this video was really helpful to see where I inserted labels. It was nice to see Dr. Grande challenge the label she gave herself.
@@stephenpowstinger733 That's the point though, they actually didn't say she was lazy. Unfortunately clients come into therapy, because of faulty thinking patterns. They have trouble separating their thoughts and feelings from the reality of the situation. If they had said she was lazy, a different approach would have been used.
@@gabrielcarrasco8414 Oh, so they have a psychosis? And talk therapy is supposed to treat psychosis? In weak cases maybe, in people who abandoned education. For anything else, CBT is laughable.
Todd, thank you for sharing your work. I am a brand new therapist (graduated in January 2018 with an MS in counseling/ marriage, family, and child therapy), and am in my first job working as an outpatient therapist. I feel that I am sorely underprepared for the important work entrusted to me. Watching your videos is incredibly helpful. Thank you.
We all sometimes feel unprepared but remember you don't have to always immediately know the best approach or the solution. Your presence, your empathy, are always valuable and the therapeutic relationship is itself valuable to the client. I sometimes tell my clients, "Your well being is my first professional priority. I mean, I care about my ethical obligations and documentation and treatment planning n stuff, and I attend to all that. But your well being, your health in every sphere, is what I really care about. I may not have all the answers but I'm always glad to see you and really honored by your trust."
Doc does a very good job of shifting the client's negative thinking from what she is feeling to how she would like to feel by pointing out the discrepancies in her behavioral patterns. I liked how he systematically guided her through her automatic thought processes and allowed her to come up with self talk methods to counter them.
I liked how the counselor pointed out that it is the behavior that comes first even if the feeling does not match. Often times, the behaviors that are useful are abandoned due to a conflict in feelings. It was even helpful for me to hear it as a counseling student, because I experience days where I know what I should be doing to help me get ahead or benefit me and my family, but don't because I do not have the motivation or the will power to do so. I think that by keeping the behavior as the focus and practicing doing so routinely will eventually lead to better outcomes. I also liked how the counselor encouraged the client to consciously utilize self talk.
Nik, I liked how you mentioned that the behavior is usually visible first even when the feeling may not be associated with it. I think this is an important key of information in that sometimes actions where display how a person is truly thinking and feeling even if the individual may not yet realize or understand what's going on. I think being aware is important which is what this video seemed to emphasize. Sometimes, I can see how someone's thoughts can impact their behavior and if they are aware of their thoughts they can be empowered to change it by using self talk and self encouragement.
Acting or not, I feel like she is relaying my story here. As a stay at home mom for 15+ years, I was her. Now I went back to workforce and find an immediate relieve, but I have a long way to go to be free of those negative feelings and feeling of failure. This was a great video.
This role play was really riveting. I still can’t believe it’s acting. It brought back a lot of memories. I suffered from depression after dropping out of 3 years of medical school- well I was probably depressed during medical school, hence the decision to leave. I never thought I’d be depression free and I never understood (at the time) why I felt depressed. CBT was so critical to getting better, but I can only see it in hindsight. The effect on the patient (for me) was very gradual. For those experiencing depression, don’t lose hope. Get into therapy and take it day by day. For me the factors that lead to depression took a long time to develop and a long time to change. I can barely remember what it was like to feel depressed now because I changed so fundamentally that the way I process the world has helped to make me not just better, but depression resistant.
this sounds a lot like me. I also dropped out of med school 3 years in and that was traumatic as hell, I haven't recovered from that fully. Did you go back? Med school is tough as hell and it's scary to go back when you're so much older than other students but I loved it. My narcissistic mother happened to stay home without a job that year and she ground me down and then kicked me in the teeth when I was down, calling me lazy and a liar when I couldn't get up anymore. I couldn't miss more than 3 days in total the whole year so I was expelled. Broke my heart.
@@AntoDesormeaux I considered it for a few years but eventually discovered a different career as an engineer and love it. It probably took 10 years before I stopped having dreams about being in med school again. I sometimes think med school is where the children of narcissistic parents end up.
@@puffyelvis5895 I'm really happy for you. If you have made something yours and love it, that's awesome, screw med school. For sure plenty of narcissistic parents push their kids to go to med school, even when they don't like it. In my country it's either med school or engineering usually since those are the highest prestige careers here.
I love this video. In particularly I love when Dr. Grande says, "Behavior that is useful has to come first even if the feeling doesn't match." That is incredibly practical and that kind of common sense explanation helps people start to put the pieces together. I also like how he covered how many days they would be apart (before their next appt), discussed their plan insofar as what she should attempt/aim for, and reminded her that it is a day to day thing. He was preparing her for the setbacks in a way that would hopefully not allow them to defeat her. Very much enjoyed seeing this unfold as a process.
Maybe if the mood isn’t improving or catching up to the behaviour, you may need to re-examine your behaviours and life goals, in order to change to more fulfilling goals and tasks
Yeah that was good, I never thought it through as thoroughly as that, but i did keep telling myself "just fake it till you make it". (It did eventually work too)
Im crying,because she is describing exactly what's going on with me. I haven't been able to put it in to words...im in the thick of it and now I know I have depression totally.
This was a really good video. I like the way Dr. Grande identified her automatic thoughts and then systematically helped her see that logically her behavior was accomplishing the opposite of what she wanted it to accomplish. Then he developed an adaptive response to replace her thoughts and resulting behavior.
Actually, I think she is no professional actor, just someone helping out who could even be depressed. She doesn’t want to be associated with a mental problem.
I keep watching and saying I think I can do that, or I will have to try this. O'm sure Dr Grande will tell us to seek therapy but some of us are in therapy and these videos help more. could it be the reduced pressure of being at home? Or not having a clinician looking straight at you?
Not only does it feel real - it feels like I'm watching myself, except I'm single and not a mother. The feelings the same as I feel when I'm low or depressed
You made me gain back my enthusiasm regarding CBT. I had no chance to see such good demonstrations. Also I wish that my first clients are such insightful, cooperating and motivated for change as your actor is. It was extremely educative to see how skillfully techniques can be integrated into a session. This video touched me emotionally because I thought that I wish I had a therapist like you to help me feel less depressed when all I do was to sleep with a wish for not being able to wake up again. Thank you so much for sharing this with us
My husband became so last 2, or 2,5 years, sleep all the time, not moving and I see he, his muscles started to melting.. I'm trying all, I told him I will not give up on him, even if sometimes I must blackmail him to get up, shower and so normal daily things.. We are together 6,5 years, married 5y, and first 3,5 years was amazing, traveling, picking, walking in nature but now like all life is sucked out of him.. And that affects on my mental health, especially when I found him on the floor, because he is too weak and I'm afraid to even leave him alone.. Yesterday we started with walking, step by step, I cook and he is trying so I really hope that in 1month will be on much better place,, sure not fully recovered but on good way.. And must repeating that to get up and start is hardest, and he was glad that he was out.. I love him and will not give up on him, doesn't matter how long will be, but so I fixings my mental health, I felt like I'm burning out..
@@arijana9006 I am sorry to hear about your experiences. I know it feels hard to always be there and try to not give in when there is someone who needs you. İt sometimes xan become a pressure even when you do it for him lovingly. Please take care of yourself and support him. You can always get help from a therapist. Your husband can go for depression if he can and you can always have some support about your health and efficiency. So glad he has someone like you. Support and dedication is very likely to get you beautiful people in a better place. Sometimes it becomes very hard to move on and find the strength to even move but most of the time it is temporary and likely to get better when you can receive some support, engage in self-care, do what is meaningful for you and keep trying. Hope you and your husband will get better. I appreciate your strength, dedication and open heart.
As pandemic emerged I also lost the meaning I was hardly clinging onto. Now I am writing a thesis about the loss of meaning and existential issues following the pandemic. We lose the somewhat stable, controllable and just ground we were on. But these times are the best to find a new meaning and question our priorities in life. Hope everyone will find a meaningful purpose and new ways of living while they slowly stop clinging onto things that are no lunger helpful for them. İt is not a linear and gradual road of getting better every single day. There will be ups and downs but as long as we are on our own and unique road, we will find the strength to create a better life in the midst of this foggy era.
Oh my gosh!!!! I have been like this!!!! It is one of the most terrifying, depression, helpless feeling. I would wish this on no one ever!!!!!!!! Amazing job both of you!!!!!!!!!
As a therapist in training I thank you for your valuable content. One small detail that bugged me during your session was saying to the "patient" "you're depressed", I know that no one in the world would tolerate hearing that he is depressed or labeled as such. I would rather suggest to the patient that they are suffering from depression and avoid labeling in any way possible. Just a feedback on your role-playing session, other than that your questions where really insightful and on point and I believe that they gave me a better understanding on how to "manipulate" the conversation into something meaningful and helpful for the patient.
This is a follow up, I have been applying the game plan (starting at 5:21 in vid) in my life and with my son, who struggles like I do in the mornings, and they've helped immensely. We still struggle, but we've had many more good days now, and the holidays all came together beautifully. Thank you again, Dr. Grande, and best wishes for a satisfying and successful new year!
From the guided discovery to the cost-benefit analysis, the strength in this session and CBT in general is the proposed logic to replace the symptoms: how can you feel better about sending your children off to school if you do not get out of bed to send your children off to school? This, as well as the permission to not get it right all of the time quickly becomes a positive rewriting and rewiring of maladaptive thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Instinctively, I would look to the relationships in her life, and focus on her own ego strength. However, this role play and those done in our cohort showcase that sometimes the shortest distance between distortion and acceptance is a straight line.
You stated that you would instinctively look to the relationships in her life. I too would go there; however, that is because of my training as an MFT: the core of family therapy is relationships. You mentioned cohort work. What graduate degree are you pursuing? Also, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your text. I am particularly partial to the intelligent use of verbiage. Well done!
"Behavior that is useful has to come first even if the feeling doesn't match." so, if you're depressed - you can get up and feel the pain or - you can sleep and feel the pain later -- * i.e. you can stay in bed all day and feel pain/much anxiety/panic when you're TryiNg to get up for that day or - you can get up and do things and let yourself feel anxious. so you're feeling the anxiety now but accomplishing something, which will ease the anxiety over time (for me, a long time, but it does get better). i'm letting that sink in -
@@1224w no kidding! and, yes, it is physically exhausting. btw, what i said hasn't worked. it's like trying to hold your hand on a hot stove. why the hell is it so difficult? and COVID lockdown isn't helping at this point. it's been a long time and i'm beginning to get cabin fever!!! Keep safe and hope things are going better for you :)
Thank you for uploading these. It's very helpful to see client-therapist interactions and examples of how to explain CBT concepts and practice skills in session. One role play I'd love to see play out is client resistance-- when clients are struggling to do homework or show up to sessions for various reasons (e.g., doesn't believe CBT will work/isn't working, overwhelmed, frustrated, hopeless, etc.). Thanks!
These kinds of videos are super beneficial for those wanting to go down the therapist or counsellor route or whoever wants to learn from other fellow counsellors and learn something new. So thank you so much for all the hard work that goes into making these videos 👍👍
This patient seems like she is really struggling with meaning and purpose as her kids have grown older. I love the CBT example, and also think adding some MI or even existential interventions would be of benefit as well. I really enjoy your channel Dr. Grande.
Thank you Doctor. I love these videos. I hope you make more of these. I neither have access to counselling nor can I afford it, and your videos have helped me gain some insight into what I am going through. Thanks again.
Boredom doesn't mean you have nothing to do. You just lack things to do that give you enough of an excited feeling of working towards some new meaningful goal. Young kids give more of that kind of satisfaction. When they grow older, you either need more kids, or you need something new to do. Even though you've been happy staying at home, it's time to go back to work in these new times.
Thank you for this. Truly. I tried EMDR, and I absolutely hated it. I know it works really well for some, but definitely not for me. For me, EMDR felt like a childish way of dealing with my issues and substance addictions. I’ve been looking into other methodologies, and I’ve heard a lot about CBT. I’ve been researching and trying to learn more about it, but it really helps to see a sample session. Im going to give it a try. This was extremely helpful.
Sweet Jesus! I feel all the time like this woman. Thank God I don't have a husband and kids to take care of, they would certainly get in the way of my staring at the ceiling all day
I like the idea of taking one day at a time. That we may slip up some days. But just keep recommitting to the process each new day. Have realistic expectations. Don't expect perfection. We all have better days and worse days.
This is interesting, I didn't know how someone with depression felt, and what they are thinking, in a day of life. It's just, nothing to live for, not laziness, I understand now .
Yes, it's definitely not laziness... It's like there's a heavy weight weighing down your body and it slows you down. Even smiling takes effort. Leaving the house, showering, takes more effort than for the "normal" person. It just feels impossible. And I'm so critical of myself that when I get out of it, my mind doubts myself and the process starts all over if I don't find something to distract it.
@@Prizmatic1658I've explained the difference this way: if I tell my teenage son he has to get up and do the dishes and he makes excuses to sleep or watch TV instead, but 10 min later his friend comes over and invites him to do something fun and he is now suddenly not feeling tired and is willing to do the dishes so he can leave, it's safe to say he was being lazy before when I originally asked him to get up. Now imagine the same scenario but when his friend invites him to do the fun thing, he still can not drag himself out of bed or off the couch despite loving the place or activity he's been invited to. In this case, he might be experiencing depression instead of laziness. When I'm depressed, it's not just chores I avoid, it's also social events and activities I (used to) enjoy. In fact, I'll spend what little energy I have doing the chores and grocery shopping so my kids have clean clothes and don't starve but I'll skip my best friends baby shower and stop going to the bi monthly book club. In this state, I have no desire to do anything at all, so if it isn't absolutely necessary for my children, I won't do it. (Often times I will force myself to do these other things but it feels like torture and is absolutely exhausting and I feel no joy whatsoever in doing them, no joy in participating in life.) I lived this way for more than 10 years. My (ex) husband told me I was worthless and lazy and pathetic nearly everyday. He would say it in front of the children. I started to believe him which made my depression much worse to the point of suicidal thoughts. I still suffer from some depression (I think I was just born this way - I've never used SSRIs or other antidepressants) but it's no where close to where it was before and I enjoy living again. I enjoy life again.
Wow this was my life, its interesting to watch it from someone else, I can now see why and how I was feeling and what I needed at the time, I needed support to help motivate myself and escape the feeling not being left to get deeper into depression then totally abandoned. So pleased I have put in the work to motivate myself
I thought this video was interesting and helpful for a friend of mine and sent it on to her. ty. I'm thinking about when I went through this sort of feeling when I was a teenager for awhile. My father helped me quite a bit by telling me, "Stop thinking about it. Just do it." Sounds a bit too simple, but it actually worked. ;) Before I knew it, I was back in my normal routine of life. thanks for the video ;)
This is really good showing how to unpack a problem and work out a simple solution to try. I'd be so bored being stuck doing drudge work all day every day, I'd run away.:)
I was interested in the the approach this counselor took to keep herself focused on herself. The motivational interviewing along with the CBT appeared to be effective as the client is having to describe the situation but more importantly encouraging her to look at the way it was when she was happy and involved with the children.
This video was really helpful and very interesting to see practiced, I really liked how the counselor stated at one point that the behavior comes first and the feeling can actually come after. I also liked that he pointed out her automatic thoughts and then helped her logically see the situation for what it is.
This video gives really good examples of & insight into how awful psychological therapy is... So that I don't know whether to like or dislike this video.
You know, I'm here , like many down the comments, feeling glad I found a case that match mine so well. First because you don't feel alone in your misery. Second for you feel "hey , now i will know what i can do about it". But then you realise that all you have been doing lately ( and maybe for too long ) is try to find out how to move around your feelings and that on and of itself becomes a sad pattern too. At least for me, by now with all I've watched and read and tried seems like I can find the answers to anyone that would come and pose my very scenario in front of me. And I could for sure help them. But I still find zero motivation to get out of this chair, or finish my Cv. Or go for a walk on my own. And unless I'm locked into a routine of working god knows how many hours a week to keep myself from spinning out. Or trying to squeeze all joy and attention out of the love relationship i was luckily able to encounter. Joy that first came so naturally and it seems to start to fade because life and its issues are getting on the way (and now it seems to be going to waste too. for both people are so defensive about seeing their old patterns repeat themselves. - but that is an issue apart?) Anyway... This is getting far too long. But, what do i do then? All things and perspectives and philosophy and lack thereof seem after 10 minutes, absolutely pointless.And you know, how guilty I feel of saying this when I'm perfectly healthy? Next thing I know, I'll became a monk. Or really jump off the balcony. haha. Except that I only live on the 4th floor and that would be depressingly ineffective .
HELLO!! THIS ACCOUNT IS IN MY HUSBAND'S NAME BUT I AM WRITING. WE/I HAVE BEEN WATCHING SOME OF YOUR VIDEOS RECENTLY. TODAY I FOUND THERAPY SESSIONS AND IS WHY I'M WRITING. I HAVE HAD DEPRESSION MOST OF MY LIFE. SPENT A NUMBER OF YEARS WITH A COUSELOR AND WITHOUT AND HAVE LEARNED SO VERY MUCH. I HAVE A NEW COUNSELOR I'VE BEEN SEEING ABOUT A YEAR WHO IS GREAT. THIS PARTICULAR VIDEO REMINDED ME OF MYSELF. SELF TALK I SOOO VERY IMPORTANT AND IT ISN'T JUST THAT"OKAY I CAN DO THIS" IT'S ABOUT LEARNING YOU'LL BE OKAY DOING IT OR NOT DOING SOMETHING.
I also realise being active in moderation can improve mood. Plus social connection and support is good for our mental and emotional wellbeing. I thought this woman would benefit from joining a social group once or twice a week just for some emotional support and connection.
I see in the comments that many people find it helpful. I find this video informative, and very helpful in that sense, but CBT seems like a superficial quick fix, like a band-aid. There still is no insight into where her dissatisfaction comes from. Maybe the idea is to help a client back on their feet so they can figure out what they want to change (if anything) later when they feel a bit better again. It would in that case still postpone dealing with the cause of the issue. Or do counselors who use CBT believe that there just is no such underlying cause? Do they maybe even believe that a person's mind is just a sum of their active thoughts and behavior? I have been in therapy and it was useful to help me get out of my acute problem state, but I always kept wondering 'but why am I this way?' can I not change what makes me this way? I am still dealing with the same issues but I'm just no longer completely 'out of it' like I was. Nobody asks me anymore if I feel suicidal and I can sort of function now....but the problem is still there......I just kind of learnt to recognize it and not let it spin out of control again.
It is quite painful for me to see this therapy, because I such depressive symptoms that were probably secondary to attention deficit in times where I didn't have any treatment. It was during my studies and job in the office. I wasn't able to get up from bed, I was just on the bed and looking from the window up to the sky and didn't know why I can't do anything, move, write, read, shop for food, wake up early, keep schedules, at all. Because all this was so mentally exausting for long time that from time to time I just started to feel like stuck in dark dungeon.
This is what I have been going through since a few months or years now....i have hit rock bottom ans have been reading about therapy and came across this vdo
Understanding this approach which focuses on changing thinking and behavior, I still was looking forward to the counselor probing more to seek out the antecedent.
"Now that the kids are older..." "Emotional payoff isn't there anymore." They don't need mom as much anymore. As a mother, I know that adjustment period can be difficult. I don't think the client is recognizing this growth for her children as a change for her also, and her need to adjust to the new role of "mom." 19:4015:09
Exactly. I feel like her motivation changes because of some fundamental sadness of watching both of her children becoming more independent, and not being at home with her. It's an avoidance of facing that reality. Tending to her sadness is important along with CBT (behavioral movement).
I'm having problems getting up in the morning and seeing the point in doing things since I was 10. I went to school, studied a bit, had some good jobs, had some lousy jobs. I've had some moments that I felt better and periods I felt much worse. But every morning I think, what's the point. Recently my mom died and I had an inheritance, so for some time I don't need to work to pay my bills. My biggest motivation to keep going was; I wanted to outlive my parents. With my motivations gone and no urgency in having to work, I really come to nothing. I foresee that in a few years, when the money's gone and me without motivations and out of shape, I'll have big problems. Still that doesn't get me out of my cocoon.
Kudos to you Dr Grande for not falling asleep during this. I know I did just listening to the client. She did well acting out a very boring run of the mill life that would make anyone depressed just listening to it. Good job. My aim is not to become a counsellor but to help people differently. You guys deserve more money🤔
I'm still in bed. I have depression and social anxiety. It takes all my effort to go downstairs even for 10 minutes.😳 I can't finish my art or crocheting.
I struggle with depression and sleep is a big problem for me. Not being able to get to sleep, then sleeping for an abnormal amount of time -- like 12-16 hours.... Lately it feels like my body is so heavy that idk how I'll stand up all day and function. I imagine my day ahead and it feels like it will take so much effort to keep my body up straight, like gravity is constantly weighing me down. Other times, I have a lot of energy and feel optimistic about life, but lately the apathy has taken a strong hold and I can't bring myself to care about anything. I'm not a lazy person at all so if someone said this to me I wouldn't have a reaction or entertain it. I don't have the energy to even give a reaction tbh
I felt like her in 2002-2003. I knew what my depression was though. I was trying to get a decent job and couldn’t get one, had no money for education, had a huge garden to maintain and was made to scrub the grouting on the floor tiles with a toothbrush and bleach. I set up a business that made no money and lost my motivation to do anything. I was stuck in the house all the time, no social interaction with adults. I used to sit and watch diagnosis murder and think, there must be more to life than this! Then get depressed because my ex husband was always at work or on long shopping trips visiting a mistress. I was wanting a child and my ex husband kept changing his mind about having kids and said he didn’t like kids because he worked with them all day. I used to also get depressed about having endometriosis and get depressed about being infertile and inferior to other women. I used to only be able to afford tracksuits and black leggings from target and constantly felt bad for not being able to look classy and feel good about myself. Not having a car didn’t help. I couldn’t travel far to look for work. When I divorced, I promised myself I wouldn’t go down that slippery slope again.
i went to CBT person once, but mostly she wasn't really interested in what i wanted to say about my feelings at my sessions. we used a CBT book. it didn't work and i was really disappointed in CBT therapy. now i know, there are different ways to handle it - thanks. . . (just saw your vid on emotions vs feelings vs affect - aha!)
This was helpful in many ways, but I thought there were two glaring omissions: 1. He didn't ask if she has seen a doctor to determine if there is a physical cause for her significant decrease in energy and 2. He didn't ask much about whether there is something enjoyable she could do just for herself to feel more motivated.
Playing devil's advocate, what would prevent her from doing a fun activity if she wanted to? You gave it as a second option as if it's that easy She said it's not that - she doesn't want to.. not that the can't.. if that makes sense
Unfortunately I identify with the situation and so many ways when it comes down to sleeping staying in bed which is what I do all day long so I don’t feel anything makes me happy even though I know I need to get up and do things that I have to do but I don’t The most I do when I get up is taking care of my wife but she’s in a wheelchair and completely need of all assistance then I crawl right back in bed
Danielle I relate also to this! I don’t see the point! But I want to! I plan to try not sitting all day distracting my selves with movies and utube videos and do what I don’t want to do! I don’t STAY in bed but I watch the clock and can’t wait to go to bed! 😢 ...guess we’re not alone! 😍🤫
I’ve had depression most my life. And a problem I have is extreme fatigue so when I wake up not only do I want to avoid reality I’m exhausted, alllll day I’m tired. I push through and do things and I’m just tired. The whole time. When I sleep too much I at least not feel AS tired sometimes. I sometimes sleep to avoid anxiety, and even suicidal ideation. I envy people who haven’t had it since childhood lol even when I’m motivated I’m just tired and anxious under the surface lol. The fatiuge, if I could get rid of fatiuge I feel like depression wouldn’t make my life half as bad. I wish CBT was more like this for me tho I just got photocopies and rehearsed lines. No personalisation I felt like a computer having requests put into me. I got told to imagine a poison parrot with a photocopy ths tlooked like it would out of a textbook for a 10 year old. I said to them “this won’t work. It’s not got any substance to it” and they told me I wasn’t trying hard enough. I stopped going. Most “professionals” completely lack the required empathy.
As someone who has gone through this the inability to find joy in anything I almost feel like this therapy is counterproductive. Yes you need to try tp so things anyway and think positive thought… just sometimes it’s not that easy. Like you haven’t laid there and prayed you could just get up and feel something.
What happens when one doesn’t really care anymore? Feeling helpless, useless and uninterested and this situation is affecting your entire family ‘s relationship?
I would not feel comfortable opening up to this guy. He is just unemphathetic, he doesn’t show any feelings at all… who would want to build a relationship with this type of therapist
Same, I'm going through what she's going through and I wish he would tell me "just do it anyway" after I tell him I'm lacking motivation to drive - the knowledge that I'm going to be upset anyway so might as well get over it 😂"
![Jack Harlow - Hello Miss Johnson [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q86_nlRoIGw/mqdefault.jpg)
I like the way you encourage her to work on small goals so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Achieving small goals is an excellent approach to treating depression.
As someone who has struggled with depressive episodes for years, this has lots of value - not just the methods used for treating the individual problems, but recognising that there are others out there experiencing the same things! Great actors used in these videos too.
Thank you!
Yes, you are so right! Seeing there are others like me, saying almost the same things that I think about brings a measure of comfort that it's not just me.
I'm on the other side. I was the kid who's mom didn't get up and help me off to school. I ate cold milk and cereal....got dressed and off to walk to school. Now I am a senior citizen and wonder if my mom was depressed. She did faithfully make supper nightly and also kept the house clean.
@@serengeti8886 "recognizing that there are others out there experiencing the same things". One doesn't feel isolated, label and judge one's self and bring about guilt.
@@RJ-hx5nb a lot of things can affect how much energy one has at their disposal when they wake up
I liked the example of challenging the client's labels. When she used the word "lazy", the counselor clarified that this was a word she chose to interpret, not actually what her loved one's said or possibly even feel. Recognizing the difference seems to be one of the first steps to helping the client.
Being a stay at home mom for five years this video was really helpful to see where I inserted labels. It was nice to see Dr. Grande challenge the label she gave herself.
It wouldn’t have worked if they had actually said she was lazy.
@@stephenpowstinger733 That's the point though, they actually didn't say she was lazy. Unfortunately clients come into therapy, because of faulty thinking patterns. They have trouble separating their thoughts and feelings from the reality of the situation. If they had said she was lazy, a different approach would have been used.
@@gabrielcarrasco8414 Oh, so they have a psychosis?
And talk therapy is supposed to treat psychosis? In weak cases maybe, in people who abandoned education.
For anything else, CBT is laughable.
Mind reading
Todd, thank you for sharing your work. I am a brand new therapist (graduated in January 2018 with an MS in counseling/ marriage, family, and child therapy), and am in my first job working as an outpatient therapist. I feel that I am sorely underprepared for the important work entrusted to me. Watching your videos is incredibly helpful. Thank you.
You are quite welcome!
We all sometimes feel unprepared but remember you don't have to always immediately know the best approach or the solution. Your presence, your empathy, are always valuable and the therapeutic relationship is itself valuable to the client. I sometimes tell my clients, "Your well being is my first professional priority. I mean, I care about my ethical obligations and documentation and treatment planning n stuff, and I attend to all that. But your well being, your health in every sphere, is what I really care about. I may not have all the answers but I'm always glad to see you and really honored by your trust."
Doc does a very good job of shifting the client's negative thinking from what she is feeling to how she would like to feel by pointing out the discrepancies in her behavioral patterns. I liked how he systematically guided her through her automatic thought processes and allowed her to come up with self talk methods to counter them.
I liked how the counselor pointed out that it is the behavior that comes first even if the feeling does not match. Often times, the behaviors that are useful are abandoned due to a conflict in feelings. It was even helpful for me to hear it as a counseling student, because I experience days where I know what I should be doing to help me get ahead or benefit me and my family, but don't because I do not have the motivation or the will power to do so. I think that by keeping the behavior as the focus and practicing doing so routinely will eventually lead to better outcomes. I also liked how the counselor encouraged the client to consciously utilize self talk.
Nik, I liked how you mentioned that the behavior is usually visible first even when the feeling may not be associated with it. I think this is an important key of information in that sometimes actions where display how a person is truly thinking and feeling even if the individual may not yet realize or understand what's going on. I think being aware is important which is what this video seemed to emphasize. Sometimes, I can see how someone's thoughts can impact their behavior and if they are aware of their thoughts they can be empowered to change it by using self talk and self encouragement.
Acting or not, I feel like she is relaying my story here. As a stay at home mom for 15+ years, I was her. Now I went back to workforce and find an immediate relieve, but I have a long way to go to be free of those negative feelings and feeling of failure. This was a great video.
I feel isolated because I'm not a mother because I have noone to hangout with because they all have their families.
@@estherlane7498 felt
This role play was really riveting. I still can’t believe it’s acting. It brought back a lot of memories. I suffered from depression after dropping out of 3 years of medical school- well I was probably depressed during medical school, hence the decision to leave. I never thought I’d be depression free and I never understood (at the time) why I felt depressed. CBT was so critical to getting better, but I can only see it in hindsight. The effect on the patient (for me) was very gradual.
For those experiencing depression, don’t lose hope. Get into therapy and take it day by day. For me the factors that lead to depression took a long time to develop and a long time to change. I can barely remember what it was like to feel depressed now because I changed so fundamentally that the way I process the world has helped to make me not just better, but depression resistant.
this sounds a lot like me. I also dropped out of med school 3 years in and that was traumatic as hell, I haven't recovered from that fully. Did you go back? Med school is tough as hell and it's scary to go back when you're so much older than other students but I loved it. My narcissistic mother happened to stay home without a job that year and she ground me down and then kicked me in the teeth when I was down, calling me lazy and a liar when I couldn't get up anymore. I couldn't miss more than 3 days in total the whole year so I was expelled. Broke my heart.
@@AntoDesormeaux I considered it for a few years but eventually discovered a different career as an engineer and love it. It probably took 10 years before I stopped having dreams about being in med school again. I sometimes think med school is where the children of narcissistic parents end up.
@@puffyelvis5895 I'm really happy for you. If you have made something yours and love it, that's awesome, screw med school. For sure plenty of narcissistic parents push their kids to go to med school, even when they don't like it. In my country it's either med school or engineering usually since those are the highest prestige careers here.
How long did u have to take CBT ?
I love this video. In particularly I love when Dr. Grande says, "Behavior that is useful has to come first even if the feeling doesn't match." That is incredibly practical and that kind of common sense explanation helps people start to put the pieces together. I also like how he covered how many days they would be apart (before their next appt), discussed their plan insofar as what she should attempt/aim for, and reminded her that it is a day to day thing. He was preparing her for the setbacks in a way that would hopefully not allow them to defeat her. Very much enjoyed seeing this unfold as a process.
Maybe if the mood isn’t improving or catching up to the behaviour, you may need to re-examine your behaviours and life goals, in order to change to more fulfilling goals and tasks
Yeah that was good, I never thought it through as thoroughly as that, but i did keep telling myself "just fake it till you make it".
(It did eventually work too)
Im crying,because she is describing exactly what's going on with me. I haven't been able to put it in to words...im in the thick of it and now I know I have depression totally.
:( I understand. Hope we get better someday some way
Yes fits me perfectly. I did t want to self diagnose the big D word but I'm almost relieved now. I have a glimmer of hope!
I hope your ok
I hope you'll get better soon
改变的过程总是让人痛苦的
This was a really good video. I like the way Dr. Grande identified her automatic thoughts and then systematically helped her see that logically her behavior was accomplishing the opposite of what she wanted it to accomplish. Then he developed an adaptive response to replace her thoughts and resulting behavior.
Yes, brilliant man, that Dr Grande.
Good actors in your videos. I feel like I'm watching a real session.
Thank you!
To be honest i wasn't sure if it's real or not till reading this comment
Actually, I think she is no professional actor, just someone helping out who could even be depressed. She doesn’t want to be associated with a mental problem.
I keep watching and saying I think I can do that, or I will have to try this. O'm sure Dr Grande will tell us to seek therapy but some of us are in therapy and these videos help more. could it be the reduced pressure of being at home? Or not having a clinician looking straight at you?
Not only does it feel real - it feels like I'm watching myself, except I'm single and not a mother. The feelings the same as I feel when I'm low or depressed
Getting up is one of the hardest things..Working on it every day
You made me gain back my enthusiasm regarding CBT. I had no chance to see such good demonstrations. Also I wish that my first clients are such insightful, cooperating and motivated for change as your actor is. It was extremely educative to see how skillfully techniques can be integrated into a session. This video touched me emotionally because I thought that I wish I had a therapist like you to help me feel less depressed when all I do was to sleep with a wish for not being able to wake up again. Thank you so much for sharing this with us
My husband became so last 2, or 2,5 years, sleep all the time, not moving and I see he, his muscles started to melting.. I'm trying all, I told him I will not give up on him, even if sometimes I must blackmail him to get up, shower and so normal daily things..
We are together 6,5 years, married 5y, and first 3,5 years was amazing, traveling, picking, walking in nature but now like all life is sucked out of him.. And that affects on my mental health, especially when I found him on the floor, because he is too weak and I'm afraid to even leave him alone.. Yesterday we started with walking, step by step, I cook and he is trying so I really hope that in 1month will be on much better place,, sure not fully recovered but on good way..
And must repeating that to get up and start is hardest, and he was glad that he was out.. I love him and will not give up on him, doesn't matter how long will be, but so I fixings my mental health, I felt like I'm burning out..
@@arijana9006 I am sorry to hear about your experiences. I know it feels hard to always be there and try to not give in when there is someone who needs you. İt sometimes xan become a pressure even when you do it for him lovingly. Please take care of yourself and support him. You can always get help from a therapist. Your husband can go for depression if he can and you can always have some support about your health and efficiency. So glad he has someone like you. Support and dedication is very likely to get you beautiful people in a better place. Sometimes it becomes very hard to move on and find the strength to even move but most of the time it is temporary and likely to get better when you can receive some support, engage in self-care, do what is meaningful for you and keep trying. Hope you and your husband will get better. I appreciate your strength, dedication and open heart.
As pandemic emerged I also lost the meaning I was hardly clinging onto. Now I am writing a thesis about the loss of meaning and existential issues following the pandemic. We lose the somewhat stable, controllable and just ground we were on. But these times are the best to find a new meaning and question our priorities in life. Hope everyone will find a meaningful purpose and new ways of living while they slowly stop clinging onto things that are no lunger helpful for them. İt is not a linear and gradual road of getting better every single day. There will be ups and downs but as long as we are on our own and unique road, we will find the strength to create a better life in the midst of this foggy era.
@arijana9006 you are a good wife. We should all be so lucky to have someone loving and supportive as you. Best of luck.
boy, if one has or has had depression, this really hits home - hard to watch. . .
Oh my gosh!!!! I have been like this!!!! It is one of the most terrifying, depression, helpless feeling. I would wish this on no one ever!!!!!!!! Amazing job both of you!!!!!!!!!
Me too
As a therapist in training I thank you for your valuable content. One small detail that bugged me during your session was saying to the "patient" "you're depressed", I know that no one in the world would tolerate hearing that he is depressed or labeled as such. I would rather suggest to the patient that they are suffering from depression and avoid labeling in any way possible. Just a feedback on your role-playing session, other than that your questions where really insightful and on point and I believe that they gave me a better understanding on how to "manipulate" the conversation into something meaningful and helpful for the patient.
She could be me. I think I can strive for that one victory. Helpful session. Thx, Dr. Grande.
This is a follow up, I have been applying the game plan (starting at 5:21 in vid) in my life and with my son, who struggles like I do in the mornings, and they've helped immensely. We still struggle, but we've had many more good days now, and the holidays all came together beautifully. Thank you again, Dr. Grande, and best wishes for a satisfying and successful new year!
From the guided discovery to the cost-benefit analysis, the strength in this session and CBT in general is the proposed logic to replace the symptoms: how can you feel better about sending your children off to school if you do not get out of bed to send your children off to school? This, as well as the permission to not get it right all of the time quickly becomes a positive rewriting and rewiring of maladaptive thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Instinctively, I would look to the relationships in her life, and focus on her own ego strength. However, this role play and those done in our cohort showcase that sometimes the shortest distance between distortion and acceptance is a straight line.
You stated that you would instinctively look to the relationships in her life. I too would go there; however, that is because of my training as an MFT: the core of family therapy is relationships. You mentioned cohort work. What graduate degree are you pursuing?
Also, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your text. I am particularly partial to the intelligent use of verbiage. Well done!
This is the kind of therapy I wish I was getting. This is totally 💯 relatable. Depression sucks. Thanks to you Dr G. You are the best ❤😊
"Behavior that is useful has to come first even if the feeling doesn't match." so, if you're depressed - you can get up and feel the pain or - you can sleep and feel the pain later -- * i.e. you can stay in bed all day and feel pain/much anxiety/panic when you're TryiNg to get up for that day or - you can get up and do things and let yourself feel anxious. so you're feeling the anxiety now but accomplishing something, which will ease the anxiety over time (for me, a long time, but it does get better). i'm letting that sink in -
It isn't that simple. It is also physically exhausting.
@@1224w no kidding! and, yes, it is physically exhausting. btw, what i said hasn't worked. it's like trying to hold your hand on a hot stove. why the hell is it so difficult? and COVID lockdown isn't helping at this point. it's been a long time and i'm beginning to get cabin fever!!! Keep safe and hope things are going better for you :)
the way you worded your comment is very helpful thank you
Thank you for uploading these. It's very helpful to see client-therapist interactions and examples of how to explain CBT concepts and practice skills in session. One role play I'd love to see play out is client resistance-- when clients are struggling to do homework or show up to sessions for various reasons (e.g., doesn't believe CBT will work/isn't working, overwhelmed, frustrated, hopeless, etc.). Thanks!
I found this video helpful because I was able to recognize the core aspects of CBT being implemented while the counselor was warm and encouraging.
These kinds of videos are super beneficial for those wanting to go down the therapist or counsellor route or whoever wants to learn from other fellow counsellors and learn something new. So thank you so much for all the hard work that goes into making these videos 👍👍
This patient seems like she is really struggling with meaning and purpose as her kids have grown older. I love the CBT example, and also think adding some MI or even existential interventions would be of benefit as well. I really enjoy your channel Dr. Grande.
Thank you Doctor. I love these videos. I hope you make more of these. I neither have access to counselling nor can I afford it, and your videos have helped me gain some insight into what I am going through. Thanks again.
Boredom doesn't mean you have nothing to do. You just lack things to do that give you enough of an excited feeling of working towards some new meaningful goal. Young kids give more of that kind of satisfaction. When they grow older, you either need more kids, or you need something new to do. Even though you've been happy staying at home, it's time to go back to work in these new times.
I’m so glad I found this video! It will help me through a depressive episode I’m currently experiencing.
Thank you for this. Truly. I tried EMDR, and I absolutely hated it. I know it works really well for some, but definitely not for me. For me, EMDR felt like a childish way of dealing with my issues and substance addictions. I’ve been looking into other methodologies, and I’ve heard a lot about CBT. I’ve been researching and trying to learn more about it, but it really helps to see a sample session.
Im going to give it a try. This was extremely helpful.
Thanks for this! Really helpful to see how a therapist and client interaction would go.
Sweet Jesus! I feel all the time like this woman. Thank God I don't have a husband and kids to take care of, they would certainly get in the way of my staring at the ceiling all day
I like the idea of taking one day at a time. That we may slip up some days. But just keep recommitting to the process each new day. Have realistic expectations. Don't expect perfection. We all have better days and worse days.
I missed my first group therapy because i couldnt get up to fill out the intake forms on time. I am beating myself up now and crying watching this.
The lady is an awesome actress! Very natural.
This helped my attitude today. Thanks, doc
This is interesting, I didn't know how someone with depression felt, and what they are thinking, in a day of life. It's just, nothing to live for, not laziness, I understand now .
Yes, it's definitely not laziness... It's like there's a heavy weight weighing down your body and it slows you down. Even smiling takes effort. Leaving the house, showering, takes more effort than for the "normal" person. It just feels impossible.
And I'm so critical of myself that when I get out of it, my mind doubts myself and the process starts all over if I don't find something to distract it.
@@brianna094 interesting, thanks for input, I guess I can understand that, it's difficult.
@@Prizmatic1658I've explained the difference this way: if I tell my teenage son he has to get up and do the dishes and he makes excuses to sleep or watch TV instead, but 10 min later his friend comes over and invites him to do something fun and he is now suddenly not feeling tired and is willing to do the dishes so he can leave, it's safe to say he was being lazy before when I originally asked him to get up.
Now imagine the same scenario but when his friend invites him to do the fun thing, he still can not drag himself out of bed or off the couch despite loving the place or activity he's been invited to. In this case, he might be experiencing depression instead of laziness.
When I'm depressed, it's not just chores I avoid, it's also social events and activities I (used to) enjoy. In fact, I'll spend what little energy I have doing the chores and grocery shopping so my kids have clean clothes and don't starve but I'll skip my best friends baby shower and stop going to the bi monthly book club. In this state, I have no desire to do anything at all, so if it isn't absolutely necessary for my children, I won't do it. (Often times I will force myself to do these other things but it feels like torture and is absolutely exhausting and I feel no joy whatsoever in doing them, no joy in participating in life.)
I lived this way for more than 10 years. My (ex) husband told me I was worthless and lazy and pathetic nearly everyday. He would say it in front of the children. I started to believe him which made my depression much worse to the point of suicidal thoughts. I still suffer from some depression (I think I was just born this way - I've never used SSRIs or other antidepressants) but it's no where close to where it was before and I enjoy living again. I enjoy life again.
Wow this was my life, its interesting to watch it from someone else, I can now see why and how I was feeling and what I needed at the time, I needed support to help motivate myself and escape the feeling not being left to get deeper into depression then totally abandoned. So pleased I have put in the work to motivate myself
That was a really good Dr. Grande, very well done.
So useful. Thank you. I can relate so much. I followed along and answered all the questions. Gave me food for thought.
I need CBD, EBT, DVD...all kind of therapy 😂😂😂
Seriously, these faux sessions are GREAT learning resources!
Thanks Doc!
I hope you keep that thought at the front of your mind when dealing with others, Ms Sharon! I confidently tell you that you don't.
Lol 😂 that’s cute
I thought this video was interesting and helpful for a friend of mine and sent it on to her. ty. I'm thinking about when I went through this sort of feeling when I was a teenager for awhile. My father helped me quite a bit by telling me, "Stop thinking about it. Just do it." Sounds a bit too simple, but it actually worked. ;) Before I knew it, I was back in my normal routine of life. thanks for the video ;)
Dr Grande is very occurate when making client facing their own reality using the langage used along by the client himself!
This video is useful to hear the vocabulary used to describe feelinb, it is good to hear other peoples stories.
This is really good showing how to unpack a problem and work out a simple solution to try. I'd be so bored being stuck doing drudge work all day every day, I'd run away.:)
I love Dr Grande’s style!!
I was interested in the the approach this counselor took to keep herself focused on herself. The motivational interviewing along with the CBT appeared to be effective as the client is having to describe the situation but more importantly encouraging her to look at the way it was when she was happy and involved with the children.
This video was really helpful and very interesting to see practiced, I really liked how the counselor stated at one point that the behavior comes first and the feeling can actually come after. I also liked that he pointed out her automatic thoughts and then helped her logically see the situation for what it is.
This video gives really good examples of & insight into how awful psychological therapy is... So that I don't know whether to like or dislike this video.
Wow! I got so emotional at the end. Amazing video, Dr Grande!
Dang. This vid brought me to tears over my oat bran hot cereal. Thanks Dr Grande
I learned a lot. I'll try this tomorrow morning. Thank you!
You know, I'm here , like many down the comments, feeling glad I found a case that match mine so well. First because you don't feel alone in your misery. Second for you feel "hey , now i will know what i can do about it". But then you realise that all you have been doing lately ( and maybe for too long ) is try to find out how to move around your feelings and that on and of itself becomes a sad pattern too. At least for me, by now with all I've watched and read and tried seems like I can find the answers to anyone that would come and pose my very scenario in front of me. And I could for sure help them. But I still find zero motivation to get out of this chair, or finish my Cv. Or go for a walk on my own. And unless I'm locked into a routine of working god knows how many hours a week to keep myself from spinning out. Or trying to squeeze all joy and attention out of the love relationship i was luckily able to encounter. Joy that first came so naturally and it seems to start to fade because life and its issues are getting on the way (and now it seems to be going to waste too. for both people are so defensive about seeing their old patterns repeat themselves. - but that is an issue apart?) Anyway...
This is getting far too long.
But, what do i do then? All things and perspectives and philosophy and lack thereof seem after 10 minutes, absolutely pointless.And you know, how guilty I feel of saying this when I'm perfectly healthy? Next thing I know, I'll became a monk. Or really jump off the balcony. haha. Except that I only live on the 4th floor and that would be depressingly ineffective .
Wow! This is exactly how I've been feeling for the past ten years.
😦
Excellent examples! Very close to home.
HELLO!! THIS ACCOUNT IS IN MY HUSBAND'S NAME BUT I AM WRITING. WE/I HAVE BEEN WATCHING SOME OF YOUR VIDEOS RECENTLY. TODAY I FOUND THERAPY SESSIONS AND IS WHY I'M WRITING. I HAVE HAD DEPRESSION MOST OF MY LIFE. SPENT A NUMBER OF YEARS WITH A COUSELOR AND WITHOUT AND HAVE LEARNED SO VERY MUCH. I HAVE A NEW COUNSELOR I'VE BEEN SEEING ABOUT A YEAR WHO IS GREAT. THIS PARTICULAR VIDEO REMINDED ME OF MYSELF. SELF TALK I SOOO VERY IMPORTANT AND IT ISN'T JUST
THAT"OKAY I CAN DO THIS" IT'S ABOUT LEARNING YOU'LL BE OKAY DOING IT OR NOT DOING SOMETHING.
Dr grande can you do a mock session with a conduct or ODD kid?
I also realise being active in moderation can improve mood.
Plus social connection and support is good for our mental and emotional wellbeing. I thought this woman would benefit from joining a social group once or twice a week just for some emotional support and connection.
I see in the comments that many people find it helpful. I find this video informative, and very helpful in that sense, but CBT seems like a superficial quick fix, like a band-aid. There still is no insight into where her dissatisfaction comes from. Maybe the idea is to help a client back on their feet so they can figure out what they want to change (if anything) later when they feel a bit better again. It would in that case still postpone dealing with the cause of the issue.
Or do counselors who use CBT believe that there just is no such underlying cause? Do they maybe even believe that a person's mind is just a sum of their active thoughts and behavior? I have been in therapy and it was useful to help me get out of my acute problem state, but I always kept wondering 'but why am I this way?' can I not change what makes me this way? I am still dealing with the same issues but I'm just no longer completely 'out of it' like I was. Nobody asks me anymore if I feel suicidal and I can sort of function now....but the problem is still there......I just kind of learnt to recognize it and not let it spin out of control again.
wow, thank both of you, so so much. 🖤
great video perfect for everyone , students, clients, professionals, etc. love thissss
It is quite painful for me to see this therapy, because I such depressive symptoms that were probably secondary to attention deficit in times where I didn't have any treatment. It was during my studies and job in the office. I wasn't able to get up from bed, I was just on the bed and looking from the window up to the sky and didn't know why I can't do anything, move, write, read, shop for food, wake up early, keep schedules, at all. Because all this was so mentally exausting for long time that from time to time I just started to feel like stuck in dark dungeon.
This is what I have been going through since a few months or years now....i have hit rock bottom ans have been reading about therapy and came across this vdo
Understanding this approach which focuses on changing thinking and behavior, I still was looking forward to the counselor probing more to seek out the antecedent.
"Now that the kids are older..." "Emotional payoff isn't there anymore."
They don't need mom as much anymore. As a mother, I know that adjustment period can be difficult. I don't think the client is recognizing this growth for her children as a change for her also, and her need to adjust to the new role of "mom."
19:40 15:09
Exactly. I feel like her motivation changes because of some fundamental sadness of watching both of her children becoming more independent, and not being at home with her. It's an avoidance of facing that reality. Tending to her sadness is important along with CBT (behavioral movement).
Can you do a video about DBT? If you’re versed in that?
Thank you. This has been very useful
I'm having problems getting up in the morning and seeing the point in doing things since I was 10. I went to school, studied a bit, had some good jobs, had some lousy jobs. I've had some moments that I felt better and periods I felt much worse. But every morning I think, what's the point. Recently my mom died and I had an inheritance, so for some time I don't need to work to pay my bills. My biggest motivation to keep going was; I wanted to outlive my parents. With my motivations gone and no urgency in having to work, I really come to nothing. I foresee that in a few years, when the money's gone and me without motivations and out of shape, I'll have big problems. Still that doesn't get me out of my cocoon.
Thank you soo much for such an informative role play.
Kudos to you Dr Grande for not falling asleep during this. I know I did just listening to the client. She did well acting out a very boring run of the mill life that would make anyone depressed just listening to it. Good job. My aim is not to become a counsellor but to help people differently. You guys deserve more money🤔
You don't get it. I am glad that you are so privileged that you can be bored by someone's illness.
Great work at challenging her thoughts
Between Two Humans
Underrated comment!
I have some therapy sessions soon and I'm really anxious about it,seem to be interesting
I'm still in bed. I have depression and social anxiety. It takes all my effort to go downstairs even for 10 minutes.😳 I can't finish my art or crocheting.
I hear you....😕
Me too
Ugh sucks doesn't it. Out of curuosity, are you a little bit nihilistic? I've become very much so
What about depression that comes as an onslaught of peri menopause? How do we tackle the hormonal imbalance through therapy ?
Thank you this is great.
I struggle with depression and sleep is a big problem for me. Not being able to get to sleep, then sleeping for an abnormal amount of time -- like 12-16 hours....
Lately it feels like my body is so heavy that idk how I'll stand up all day and function. I imagine my day ahead and it feels like it will take so much effort to keep my body up straight, like gravity is constantly weighing me down.
Other times, I have a lot of energy and feel optimistic about life, but lately the apathy has taken a strong hold and I can't bring myself to care about anything.
I'm not a lazy person at all so if someone said this to me I wouldn't have a reaction or entertain it. I don't have the energy to even give a reaction tbh
I felt like her in 2002-2003. I knew what my depression was though. I was trying to get a decent job and couldn’t get one, had no money for education, had a huge garden to maintain and was made to scrub the grouting on the floor tiles with a toothbrush and bleach. I set up a business that made no money and lost my motivation to do anything. I was stuck in the house all the time, no social interaction with adults. I used to sit and watch diagnosis murder and think, there must be more to life than this! Then get depressed because my ex husband was always at work or on long shopping trips visiting a mistress. I was wanting a child and my ex husband kept changing his mind about having kids and said he didn’t like kids because he worked with them all day. I used to also get depressed about having endometriosis and get depressed about being infertile and inferior to other women. I used to only be able to afford tracksuits and black leggings from target and constantly felt bad for not being able to look classy and feel good about myself. Not having a car didn’t help. I couldn’t travel far to look for work. When I divorced, I promised myself I wouldn’t go down that slippery slope again.
If you don't mind, what made you want a child with a cheating husband?
Appreciate these videos
Very interesting. Thank you.
i went to CBT person once, but mostly she wasn't really interested in what i wanted to say about my feelings at my sessions. we used a CBT book. it didn't work and i was really disappointed in CBT therapy. now i know, there are different ways to handle it - thanks. . . (just saw your vid on emotions vs feelings vs affect - aha!)
I want some CBT roleplay too 😉, oh wait wrong vid
This was helpful in many ways, but I thought there were two glaring omissions: 1. He didn't ask if she has seen a doctor to determine if there is a physical cause for her significant decrease in energy and 2. He didn't ask much about whether there is something enjoyable she could do just for herself to feel more motivated.
Playing devil's advocate, what would prevent her from doing a fun activity if she wanted to? You gave it as a second option as if it's that easy
She said it's not that - she doesn't want to.. not that the can't.. if that makes sense
How do you know what a distorted thinking? How will you measure what is "Black and white" is it up to the therapist?
And I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Now I know how hard it is.
This helped, thanks
this is very helpful
This was really helpful
Very very helpful and enlightening
Thank you this is really helping me 😢🙏
You're welcome!
Thank you for this content! Really helps as an educational resource
Unfortunately I identify with the situation and so many ways when it comes down to sleeping staying in bed which is what I do all day long so I don’t feel anything makes me happy even though I know I need to get up and do things that I have to do but I don’t The most I do when I get up is taking care of my wife but she’s in a wheelchair and completely need of all assistance then I crawl right back in bed
Danielle I relate also to this! I don’t see the point! But I want to! I plan to try not sitting all day distracting my selves with movies and utube videos and do what I don’t want to do! I don’t STAY in bed but I watch the clock and can’t wait to go to bed! 😢 ...guess we’re not alone! 😍🤫
That's a lot .probably are overwhelmed just with that situation?
You are frustrated with yourself, but not the situation
Informative💫
I’ve had depression most my life. And a problem I have is extreme fatigue so when I wake up not only do I want to avoid reality I’m exhausted, alllll day I’m tired. I push through and do things and I’m just tired. The whole time. When I sleep too much I at least not feel AS tired sometimes.
I sometimes sleep to avoid anxiety, and even suicidal ideation.
I envy people who haven’t had it since childhood lol even when I’m motivated I’m just tired and anxious under the surface lol. The fatiuge, if I could get rid of fatiuge I feel like depression wouldn’t make my life half as bad.
I wish CBT was more like this for me tho I just got photocopies and rehearsed lines. No personalisation I felt like a computer having requests put into me. I got told to imagine a poison parrot with a photocopy ths tlooked like it would out of a textbook for a 10 year old. I said to them “this won’t work. It’s not got any substance to it” and they told me I wasn’t trying hard enough.
I stopped going. Most “professionals” completely lack the required empathy.
I think a lot of people are feeling very similar to her because of the pandemic.
As someone who has gone through this the inability to find joy in anything I almost feel like this therapy is counterproductive. Yes you need to try tp so things anyway and think positive thought… just sometimes it’s not that easy. Like you haven’t laid there and prayed you could just get up and feel something.
What happens when one doesn’t really care anymore? Feeling helpless, useless and uninterested and this situation is affecting your entire family ‘s relationship?
I would not feel comfortable opening up to this guy. He is just unemphathetic, he doesn’t show any feelings at all… who would want to build a relationship with this type of therapist
Same, I'm going through what she's going through and I wish he would tell me "just do it anyway" after I tell him I'm lacking motivation to drive - the knowledge that I'm going to be upset anyway so might as well get over it 😂"
She not once said “house wife.”
I must have super major mega depressive disorder. This is just the tip of my iceberg.
Avolition with a side of anhedonia? Me