Passive aggressive people: how to stop being a victim forever!
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- How to deal with passive aggressiveness forever. The root cause revealed. If we know the root we can start healing the root instead of endlessly fighting the symptoms.
More info: www.alive-acade...
In the Animal Kingdom, weakness has a smell. Never let people smell your weakness.
When we feel independently fulfilled, after having flushed out all of our unsolved fear and pain, we become independent of other's of how we smell ;-). Make sure to check the 4 free videos which build upon the insights in this video regarding your independent liberation and fulfilment @ www.alive-academy.com Enjoy being yourself in freedom ♥️💎🍀
The passive-aggressive people I've run into in my life generally will find something they don't like about me, create a fake problem, point the finger at me to an authority figure, and then they get me in trouble, while painting themselves as the victim and me as the perpetrator. Even though, they started the fire. When confronted on the issue, the passive-aggressive will pretend like they have no idea what you're talking about. Or they will display an apathetic attitude towards their actions, such as remorselessness, uncaring, indifferent. Then, they will keep doing it. Almost like someone who was born without a conscience or emotions.
I did some research the other day, and this kind of behavior isn't passive-aggressive. It's known as gaslighting. It is commonly used by narcissists and sociopaths.
These people are practically evil. I had a brother, RIP, who was quite the mind-fuck growing up, tormenting me day and night.
I was literally about to say the people you are talking about sound a lot like they have a form of Narcissism, and you could be Codependent, Codependents attract a lot of narcissists, I am Codependent too. I study a lot about these things which is why I'm here. I want to be a psychologist who helps people with these problems once I finish studying. I assume you're here to watch this video because you're struggling with codependency. Codependency, also known as Self Love Deficit Disorder, is exactly that. The cure to Codependency is self care, learning to like/love yourself, take care of yourself properly and learning how to be alone (and happy). This video was a good place for you to start and self awareness is a huge first step. Try and do some research on how to heal Codependency, people pleasing, etc. Try looking at the RUclips channels of Julia Christina Counselling, Dr Ramani, Stephanie Lyn etc. Or simply search for Self love deficit disorder or healing codependency and stop caring what people think of you. Good luck :)
THESE ARE NARCISSISTS. They have NO SOUL.
@@aliacampbell7227 Only those who are self aware and redeem themselves has souls.
@@candyheartsart Thats very wise and helpful thankyou, I think I must be one too.
if someone is being too much passive aggressive wait till they say something again and then ask them "what are you trying to do?". They often will be surprised and don't know what to say. So if they are being annoying just say that.
My brother is a passive aggressive powerplayer he know how to respond to that
I dont know what to do anymore
My entire family is passive aggressive it has been continuously killing my self-esteem
@@lexipeun593
When dealing with these people. Try internally realizing and expressing to that person that you have nothing against them, you don't hate them, and that they're not your enemy. It will squash any arguing and leave you not feeling emotionally abused or drained.
Lol I do that to my passive aggressive mom all the time. She becomes speechless and her eyes bulge out. I'm not letting her mess with my mind, shes done that for years. I no longer give in to these mind games.
Well, some passive aggressive people might say “What? How did not you realize WHAT YOU HAD DONE TO ME!? YOU ARE THE MOST INSENSITIVE AND ASYMPATHIETIC PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!! You should have figured out what did you do to make me act like this, haven’t you!?
And It’s cancer.
That doesn’t work always, expect the “ugh, what are you talking about? You’re being paranoid ” schtick.
You start to feel like a realhuman again after 1,5years after getting out of passive agressive envirovment. Best advide: get out as fast as possible. Wished I saw this video4 years ago
I really wish I could get out of mine. I have to live with my brother as neither of us can afford our own place. Not only is he passive aggressive but he frequently turns violent. My parents always take his side because he gives them money, while I only give them food. Every day I fear for my physical safety.
''Let people be wrong about you. You don't need to defend yourself.'' Elliot Hulse
Passive agressive people seem to be cowards and were somehow shut up and not allowed to express themselves as children. I feel compassion for them. I see them. They see me.
That’s probably true. But just because someone did it to them doesn’t give them the right to do it to us. For example, it took women an extremely long time to develop a sisterhood or any kind of group of women that just stood up for each other. Now that some women do support each other, it makes you ask why our mothers never supported us. The response is something like why should I? No one supported me back in the day before the feminist movement when the patriarchy was getting away with stuff. So they expect us to go through all the abuse just like they did. To be fair, the patriarchy is still getting away with stuff. But young women have finally stood up and started supporting each other and bonding with each other. This is a relatively new phenomenon. Meanwhile men have been having brotherhoods and supporting each other for generations.
Omg I think you just explained the root to my food addiction and shopping addiction. Thank you.
Correct. You got it right. Do not change the people with passive aggressive behavior to protect yourself. They can resolve that in their own way, instead fight your fear of being alone and establish that wall of positivity, confidence, and redirect mindset fighting fear and that builds the power of our own protection.
This hit hard, thank you.
True
I dealt with a passive agressive person earlier yesterday. Even though I was heated I avoided insulting the person as bad as I wanted to. I didn't wanna show I was angry and give that person the upper hand. Instead I just told him 'Aye man, I don't hate you, I have nothing against you bro I am not your enemy', something along those lines. And by showing compassion it squashed the arguing right there. I feel like when people argue and let their emotions fly you get so caught up in trying to win the argument, and sometimes even lose sight of why you were even arguing in the first place, but deep down these people don't even matter to us. I think by just realizing internally but also expressing that you don't have anything against this person is how we can walk away without feeling emotionally abused and drained of our mental energy.
This comment wasn't hearted, but I thank you!!
It's extremely difficult to answer something like "I don't want to fight" without sounding like a pussy... but I'll try.
Sup Tho?
@Mindful Miss you tell that person to seek counselling. You tell them there is no shame in seeking help, that what is shameful is them CHOOSING to behave like a piece of shit. THAT will hit a nerve in them especially if said in public surrounded by people, in a shop etc
I think that is inauthentic. Out of fear of rejection or conflict. You said you wanted to insult him amd felt heated (which is totally okay) so that means at that point you had anger towards him. Not acknowledging your anger in a healthy way will create a shadow. You can express your heated emotions also in a respectful manner.
I have been healing from codepency and I have learned to recognize these behaviors. I have a new boyfriend and his passive aggressive behavior came out when I made a boundary. I know he has issues, but he seemed to be codependent rather than narcissistic. I think he was the one who was hurt when I said no, he couldn't stay a weekend with me, and so he is lashing out. I'm not feeling hurt, though it did bother me when I could see he was pulling away. But I'm ok, and I'm on the verge of ending this relationship because I don't want to have a roller coaster relationship.
Good for you, sweetie... how are you doing now?
So you said to him he cannot stay with you one week-end? What's the point in having a relationship then if you don't wanna spend time with him?
@@guitaristssuck8979 its ok to have space in a relationship
RunRun baby
@SATORI please explain
Wow! What an empowering and clear view on a complex and painful subject. This video is an eye/ mind/heart opener ! Thank you so much!
You are absolutely welcome! Thank you for your kind feedback!
@@alive-academy that feeling that passive aggressive ISM does made me actually stronger because I chose to be stronger person that uses passive aggressiveism the best defense it's something I like to call silent aggressivism where you don't listen in to space out like you're bored with what they're saying when you're supposed in their mind to feel awkward and insecure by doing that you are telling them that you are too good to even give it attention that they are not good enough and not on your level you see it's a game of superiority now you're not doing this to feel Superior but more for self-defense it's not okay to feel better than other people cuz that's snobby and conceited but in this case it's okay because you're defending yourself being attacked by some conceited tactic just like someone trying to hit you you have a right to defend her emotions and defend yourself and be mentally strong
@@alive-academy and actually you have to even do more than that you have to tell you in your mind during that that you are too good to give attention to it it's about learning to put yourself into a mentality besides you're not wrong for being yourself anyways
@@alive-academy I think subconsciously not caring what they have to say and being disinterested because you know deep down the person being passive-aggressive is the most insecure person in the conversation and you don't need to Snoop to their level the root causes caring what they think
@@alive-academy and you can pass a type of passiveaggressiveism to me there is a difference between the simple silent treatment and silent treatment in a situation of someone trying to use passive aggressive techniques to me that's called being mentally strong and attacking the root cause of being a victim because that requires you to look at your subconscious and realize that all those insecurities aren't real it's on your head you shouldn't care what they think
Passive Aggressive Behaviour, Silent treatment, Narcissistic Personality Traits. These are killers ! They can kill you slowly till it consumes you totally. Many of the personality disorders are underlying subconsciously or unconsciously. I am speaking from my experience & life lessons. Practicing self-love & self-care are the priorities. We must always be aware of our own feelings, if something just doesn't feel right, trust your gut and leave the person or go contact even it was a best friend.. Seriously no joke!!! Thanks for this video !!!
I absolutely agree!
Im seeing this in a lot of comments, that he is speaking in the view point of the person that is being passive aggressive. I see it in the view point of the victim of passive aggression and condescension. You as victim, rewiring yourself to not be a victim to someone elses behavior. Learning how to find a healthy way of dealing and coping with the root of why we are broken. Starting with yourself first, so that it is not a continuous constant battle each time you encounter someone who may knowingly or unknowingly try to tear you down. That's my take away from it.
You are right you got to get to the root of the problem. The only person you can change is yourself! Trust your feelings! If you don't feel good and are worried, anxious confused you're not in a good place or are not around good people. I wish the very best to all who read this!
OMG! This is just what I needed. Thank you! Finally a way out of this prison to freedom.
I recently noticed someone with manipulative behavior. They loved to one-up they seemed nice at first until I went cold turkey on them. Now they're gossiping about me and trying to turn people against me. I have no way to get away from them because I take the same classes as them. But now they continue to try and provoke me and get me to react. They are friends with everyone and they use that to their advantage.
Today something happened I was walking to one end of the room and one of the people that I was once close with started walking behind me and started singing "It's the grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge " I didn't react and I simply shrugged it off. I knew she was doing this to seek a reaction from the other person to get a good laugh.
This sounds exactly like my brother. I know he is trying to get a reaction but I can't stop myself from reacting because I don't want to allow him to abuse me. I just get so angry every time he makes his snide remarks. I wish I can remain calm like you, then maybe it will stop.
This speaks to me so much and what I went through :(. Talking to someone I thought the world of for 6 months almost everyday only to be gradually and slowly tossed aside in the most sadistic way.
is anyone else afraid of having to deal with the very real threat of physical confrontation with much larger opponents and/or public humiliation/ostracization/legal ramifications as a result of being yourself?
I've done it and it's liberating. Initially, it's scary but my larger scary opponents eventually tried to make me an ally because in the end they just want to be liked. If they can't scare you into omission they will change their approach. At least in the end you have your dignity and their respect. Don't be afraid to be ostracized either. Love yourself regardless.
Not me ever. Id rather stand my ground no matter the cost than be a worm. Iv found calling people out they back off. Yes Im a guy but a small guy and iv meet bully guys that were over 6 foot and they all backed down when I stood my ground with them. The avarge person does not want a fight so I just say stop giving me the mouth and just hit me and were go from there. Then I can see them thinking wth as having a smaller quite guy offer them out worrys them. and they must think dam he must be a boxer or something.
At 63 and 190 lb I'm not enormous but I'm big enough to scare most small people away even though I'm a nice guy, that being said there's always a bigger and or meaner fish out there but generally speaking no I'm not afraid of being myself but obviously if someone seems to be angry or aggressive or is just enormous I might tend to leave them alone 😂
Hey I have to live with my brother who tried to strangle me to death after denying me to eat my own food. When I protested that, that's when he attacked me. He has physically assaulted me on other occasions but that day he strangled me for over a minute and I couldn't breathe. I had to punch and kick him with everything I had to get him off of me. My parents still always take his side. Ever since then I just try to avoid him because I fear for my physical safety every day. I don't know what to do. My mom tried to make him apologize for trying to strangle me and he simply said he was right and that I deserved it. He does several passive aggressive attacks every day and insults me constantly in front of my parents. He insults them too. He accuses me of doing things to him that he does to me, but I don't do anything to him whatsoever. I wish I could move far away but I have nowhere else to go. We both live in my parents 2nd house.
My brother claims that w0m3n are like dogs or children and that they have to be trained and punished by a m4n in order for them to do anything right. I don't have any love for him. He is a horrible person.
Passive aggressiveness is a favourite method of some bosses: they can punish employers they don't like and there is very little the employee can do - it's not like the boss has shouted at you or call you names that you can complain about, and if your input in meetings are brushed aside, well, it's not because they are ignoring you, but because the ideas weren't that good or someone else just threw in a better idea: you are just paranoid and over-sensitive. It is likely the others in the meeting are not aware of the pattern unless it is pointed to them for observation and even then they are equally powerless to point out behaviour that is not overtly aggressive.
Some teachers use covert aggression, too: students are even a weaker position to complain, especially minors.
Address what they’re really saying instead of what they pretend to be saying. Deal with it head on. So if someone says “Some people just want to play the victim.” And you know they’re talking about you, but don’t have the guts to actually say what they mean out loud, address it as if they were saying it out loud, because they basically are.
Or, As I dealt with my extremely passive aggressive sister yesterday, when I walked away from her she made a “tsk” noise. I could have ignored it and kept on walking past her in the hallway of the building we both live in, but instead I addressed it. I responded to it for what I knew it was. I said “I’m sorry, but I just can’t be friends with you right now. I need to undo the damage that’s already been done first.” And then she acted as if she hadn’t made a snick noise, and nodded and fell all over herself agreeing with me. Whatever. I know she ran and immediately gossiped with people about this interaction, but I know that I at least addressed her rude behavior head on.
I could not follow if/when he was talking about Passive-Aggressives or the victims....
Same for me, I think the person that is behaving passive-agressive is the one being addressed here. In the end they are the ultimate victim of their own behavior. He words it like this to avoid blaming, which would trigger/scare off a true passive-agressive person.
True, the second I show my husband his personal mirrior he wants to break it.
I saw the same... I just think the English is out of context... but I believe his point (in the context he means)is that the victim is us... from a third person perspective of what causes the passive aggressive behaviour… this phenomenon occurs to us all if you watch the diagram part in the middle... that this is the solution to anger management... I agree with the description in the diagram that is great... it makes the criteria with a lot of psychology theories so it's sound... it is misleading to a natural English-British perspective we generally have a similar grammatical receptivity at least in England as a natural occurrence...
passive aggressive people get taken advantage of a lot so we are also victims.
@commonsense. That's why I called B.S. on him. He's a case of the fox watching the hen house. He sounds passive aggressive. What's the crap about being a victim. He made that up. People are targets of aggression, there's no victimhood involved. Please find one therapist or psychiatrist who agrees with his bull. Did you notice how softly he talks? Passive aggression 101.
In a new job I had a really aggressive boss who would constantly bully team members including myself.
On one occasion he started accusing me of something, which I was innocent of as usual, so I said to him "It's interesting you should say that".
He went completely silent and a look of fear came over him - he changed his behaviour after that as he knew I was not taking any more of his shit. He even apologised to me several times after that for being harsh to me.
Strangely enough I am tall and quite big while he is a small man - it was a bit like a Chihuahua bullying an Alsatian.
But what if it was the other way around the big dog against the smaller one
I can't say those things to them
Slartibartfast did you just say your taller than the man? That would be easy omg
JustAnother Viewer if love starts a relationship and apathy finishes it how does one heal?
@@charmainebalzan1857 Well, it's a term that describes the boss's behavior as the "Napoleon Complex"...
It's interesting that you should say that, what a fantastic line and I promise you I will be using it within the week 😁
The best form to end complying with passive-agressive behaviors from other is by stop that behaviour in yourself.
Be aware of the stress and make yourself responsible for registering it and then choose to act according to your higher needs and values.
I'm glad I've grown beyond feeling victimized in these situations. I learned to deal with manipulation with my sister, she's the master at it LoL from those skills I removed 2 narcissist bosses from my life and am taking on a covert narc fake friend right now. I feigned victims mentality gave juicy info about myself that seemed like it would damage the relationship she wished to end and baited her to turn on me and reveal get true opinion of me. It worked lol They are ALL cowards one you see them for who they are and acknowledge it without emotion and WITH evidence for others to see. Dancing with narcs is a strategy game taking these people out, get out of your emotions so you can use your brain and dominate these dark souls. That's why they win, they have you twisted up in your head and emotions. Step out into the most simple solution. For me the solution was to expose her to my group of friends. It worked. Use your brain make a game of thrones plan and put it into process. Give it time to play out.
Perfect love casts out all fear and there is no perfect love any man, woman or even ourselves can provide, the only perfect love that you can find is through Jesus Christ who died and was raised again to clear our conscience of sin. He breaks down that wall and helps us to deal with each one of these heart issues that you speak of I understood everything you were speaking of, your very intelligent and I am so happy that you were able to find a happy place for yourself, I promise that true love comes from a father who is perfect and that is through Jesus Christ he looks at us with love and thinks highly of us, even when we continue to mess up, and other people hurt us and use us,that pain can quickly be resolved because of the love he has for us never changes and our acceptance is fully assured in him, we are never alone, his spirit is always with us, Jesus Christ sees us more precious than gold and silver. The things you speak of is a wonderful way of explaining what the Holy Spirit does in us. Thank you for sharing your testimony your experience with us I pray that the Lord blesses you with his love.
"That's interesting you feel that way"... good one
While I agree wholeheartedly with your explanation, I don’t believe emotional pain is solved in isolation. We need a caring other to comfort us in distress. The comfort and soothing from another teaches us self regulation.
so true and spot on illustration. thanks for sharing!
Man I got excited when you started to say when those passive aggressive people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, you talk to them. Ugh my aunts do this to me and rely upon my loneliness for me to "get over it", so they feel that they can treat me however they want. Assholes. I hate having to chase them down so I just stopped.
Yes stop.chasing them.down well.done
I just need to listen to my gut instinct and stay as far away from that person. Yes I had to recover from their shaming, control, criticism just after 45 minutes. What an evil person. I think I saw traits of narcissism in that person. Goes from making people laugh, to complaining, shaming, and being down right abusive.
There's a great book on this called, Living with the Passive Aggressive Man. Great video, good communication tips. Thank you.
LOL Not too misandrous then...
Is there a book called Living with the Passive Aggressive Woman or Female Family Members? My sister is extremely passive aggressive, unbelievably mean and makes me feel really shit about myself but she'll do it in such a way that I can't really call her out on it. I've actually never met a man who is as passive aggressive as her.
@@SweetSourPickle I have the same sister
@@tinaleeth2707 I understand your pain
@@SweetSourPickle lol thanks, wasn't even looking for this about her, but yeah. Good luck
Do what I am doing and that is to get really good at ignoring people or in other words having a ZERO reaction within ourselves in regards to certain other people. Don't say "Interesting I wonder way you feel that way bla bla bla" don't even say the word "Interesting" say nothing. Stop caring about people who don't treat you properly. Not caring means do not even think about these people. IGNORE PEOPLE!!! No one has ever been truly hurt by being ignored so don't feel bad about doing it. But you can really liberate yourself by ignoring or having a ZERO reaction. The crazy part is that often we feel like we are acting like an asshole by ignoring someone. But the truth is we are actually acting like a Buddha by doing it.
My husband must have some very deep seated insecurities, or something. He is passive aggressive to the max. Everything he says and does, towards me, is passive aggressive. Over the years, I have figured out what is going on , to a degree. Then I would put boundaries up. For example, after many many years of him "forgetting" to tell me about his family's parties, or functions, and his family members refusing to inform me, I cut off his whole family. That solved that problem. But I have realized that every conversation is PA. He doesn't answer me, he answers me in circles, he did not hear me, he has nothing to say, he does not want to talk about it, he doesn't know, he cannot have fun, he doesn't like to talk while he is driving, he forgot. Every interaction with him is PA. A few days ago I hit the wall and stopped talking to him altogether. I only answer yes or no if I am asked something. I am 64 and disabled, and I don't know what will happen to me if I divorce him. My kids and grandkids worship their wonderful dad. He is so helpful and handy. He just has to exert this power of me, who is supposed to be his equal. This is a form of abuse and I am surprised I have any sanity left. My kids would never believe me if I told them what was going on. I have tried a couple of times and they say they don't want to get in the middle of it. Going to counseling is a nightmare. He doesn't say or admit to anything. I must be making it all up. And the therapists believe him and say I am playing "victim." Because, after all, he is such a nice man.
I JUST SPENT 17 MINUTES LISTENING TO THIS GUY say over and over again in 10 different ways at least about root of pain and fear. This is a commercial to steer us towards his agenda to go to his website. I did not find anything helpful for me, maybe others do. He did not even truly describe or identify a passive aggressive person. I am not interested in spending time with a passive aggressive person but I have to work with more than one.
I examine my own heart all the time and look into my own fears.
I understand your reaction. I used to blame, criticise and even condemn people too who took the effort to formulate a liberating direction, before I even took the effort to watch it it entirely, as a distraction to not have to take my own response-ability, not realising I was only shooting in my own foot. When you are ready to take your own response-ability for your own liberation process, I suggest you to actual watch the 4 free videos @ www.alive-academy.com Enjoy your complete liberation process!
This was really useful this me. This was the road bump, I never could understand this. Fear is helping we are in the wrong direction.
Elkhart Tollé also advises melting the social shield through silent feeling of the pain body
Wow....word for word what I have lived.for decades...from domineering, controlling sisters.
Just smash your smart phone and other entertainment electronics you possess ... get through the shakes and cramps... then live happily ever after
Respect bro , when we talk about a problem the right thing is to have a solution 👏🏻
THANK YOU SOUNDS INTERESTING. BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS IS COMMING FROM, HOW TO FINE IT. WHAT DO YOU DO THEN????
I like that, "symptoms" are helping signals showing directions what we are heading to. 😊
True direction is the opposite way of the symptoms.
I believe that someone that exhibits passive aggressive behavior towards you...including mindless petty theft to watch as they create inconvenience and victimization should be abandoned by you. Their problem isn't something that you have the ability or responsibility to cure.
So, while we can fix ourselves, set boundaries for ourselves, find the root, deal with the passive agressive behavior, etc. How do we still maintain a fulfilling relationship? I may be able to stop being the victim to my partners behavior and be happy and fulfilled with myself, but how do i continue to be happy with my partner if they still exude that p.a. behavior?
Exactly!
Sometimes we have to let the people go who are toxic to us.
Wow, your video was very eye-opening. I don't fully understand what you said; I will have to watch this again several times, and let it sink in. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. God bless you.
You are welcome! Bless you too!
Yes! Thank you for sharing that these coping mechanism protect our vulnerabilities!
Dis ease = disease, I like the way you put that.
1:35 min in this clip I started crying.. good job! ❤
I'm calling B.S. on you sir! Blaming the target of aggression is covert aggression itself. No one said a word about being a victim. The root cause of someone's aggression, is not for the target to solve. Stop giving harmful advice, because that's what you're doing. Ok, see how direct I was. There's no ambiguity.
I fear my own reaction and loss of self control. I get pushed to the point that I'm stewing in my homicidal thoughts and am so scared of the consequences after I've been pushed to snapping.
Hi my friend, I understand emotions can feel that overwhelming. Being radical honest with yourself like you are is the turning point to lasting change. Know that everything you feel is unsolved emotion within yourself. It is only triggered by someone else, although it seems it is the other one causing it. What you feel right now is a great opportunity to make a 180° u-turn and solve the unsolved emotions within yourself until there is only the feeling of independent fulfilment left to be experienced, where no-one can trigger you anymore and where no control is necessary, because you will feel fulfilled anyway. I suggest you to watch my 4 videos that build upon this video at: www.alive-academy.com to get more insights in liberation and to set your mind free from fear and pain. Enjoy your true liberation process.
@@alive-academy thank you for the kind advice! It will be taken and used. I'm normally not one to seek emotional or personal guidance online but I really find hope, comfort and optimism from your words. I am going to check out those other videos to "keep the hope alive."
and yes it takes time healing the roots
. When a lion roars it is can be heard miles away and the other animals know the KING is there. I watch a wildlife documentary some years ago a lion was resting under a tree and small baboons/monkeys were messing with him. One-touch his head and climb the branch swinging other touches his tail and climb the tree. They were too many ... Lion was on its own. For a while, he shows his annoyance by making an aggressive sound, and then it left the place. Walk away... The King of the Jungle left his space for these small monkeys. What we learned here sometimes to get angry and fight back is not worth it; a person should be smart enough to know when to fight and when not to fight.
I agree with most parts of your videos but not that the root cause of being a victim of passive-aggressiveness comes to one thing fear that we will be abandoned.
I cannot talk about others they may fear abandonment. I personally always keep low key, I don't hang out unnecessarily with people being part of any group whatsoever .. that not makes me antisocial.
I was an extrovert by nature but with time and experience, I learn that wasting time in drama, and mind games impressing others ... small petty competitions I am above that and want to rise from society's wicked norms and mentality.
I am happy alone, and that is what people don't like... society I mean.. they are always in groups and want recognition, and appreciation their craving for gossip never dies. I'm not particularly eager to greet people who I don't know. I don't like to intimidate them either I noticed that sometimes neighbours get threatened and start slamming the doors sign of passive-aggressiveness in my presence. Other petty behaviour, shows through their body language.. they also gossip and try to ruin the Alone person's reputation. I don't give a FLYING FUCK.. but these monkeys cuz they got no moral values, or ethics will drag you into some situation by false accusation or do something to get a response from you.
I DON'T FEAR THAT I WILL BE ABANDONED, I live alone by choice and am happy, no matter in any part of the world I live in. It is better to be alone than with people who do not resonate with you.
Passive aggressiveness does not affect me in any way it gets ugly when a group of people, a cult,or a society target an individual do petty things to get a reaction out of you ... To piss you off so you react and get angry or indulge in argument/ fight or drama and they sap your energy. You can see a smile on their wicked face.
Hope you will make a video on Targeted individuals someday. The scapegoat of the society, targeted by secret societies, religious cults, government agencies, etc. Also, shed some light on what you think how an individual should react and deal with such a situation.
Thanks and have a great day.
Great comment man.
I hate when I waste my valuable time watching an entire video that promises to give me the secret to dealing with a real issue that I’m having at this moment, only to find out that it’s an advertisement for some program that’s going to cost me a lot of money. I get why you’re doing this, and it works on lots of people, but for those of us who are truly trying to cut BS out of our lives, this makes us feel used and is the exact wrong message to send on how to stop manipulative people from destroying our peace.
An ambitious co worker can be a nause....especially if you have trained them and been nice to them. Then you see them becoming confident and even trying to tell you what to do. It can be annoying and riling.
Jealous coworkers are even worse especially when they start to try to sabotage your reputation, at that point you have to rely on the quality of your work and your production to speak for itself, because numbers don't lie
0:09 💡 Aim to reveal the root cause of being a victim of passive aggressiveness.
0:24 📹 Existing videos focus on analyzing, blaming, and labeling passive aggressive behavior.
0:39 ❌ Leaving passive aggressive people doesn’t solve the root problem.
1:02 🌱 Identifying the real root cause is key to healing and liberation from victim symptoms.
2:01 😔 Everyone becomes a victim of passive aggressiveness at some point.
2:37 😨 The root cause of passive aggressiveness is fear of abandonment.
3:07 🛡 Distractions like pleasing others and being manipulated are ways to avoid feeling unresolved pain.
4:26 🧠 Mind techniques alone won’t solve the root problem.
5:00 🌟 Solving the root of our pain leads to a natural, fulfilling life.
6:00 🌞 Turning on our own light eliminates darkness and pain.
7:03 🧩 Shifting our perspective changes our reality from victim to independently fulfilled.
9:22 🧱 Building a wall of control around pain starts a cycle of endless distractions.
10:32 🔒 This pattern of distraction is exhausting and imprisoning.
12:32 🌈 A reality without fear and unresolved pain is possible, leading to true fulfillment.
14:26 🎯 Liberation from fear and pain is the key to natural abundance.
it's very clear the you have to go to the root and solve the fear and pain.
But HOW do you solve the pain????
Your comment sounds pessimistic, even aggressive and certainly not constructive. Amelia asked an honest question, don't put your negativity at her feet. Won't help either one of you.
Koen Kwakkenbos, go have a look in the mirror and point that accusing crooked finger at yourself...
Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end and you be yourself.
this was a great answer :)
silverlemniscate .. and I’ll be the horse feathers ! lol
Incredible, you are the person i wish i had had as a therapist.
Let me ask if i got this straight
Fear of abandonment comes from the fear of losing a distraction, because then we will have to meet our inner self.
Whenever we lose something, we are losing a distraction that works as a panel to hide us from our inner truth.
And the more we are in pain, the more we come up with distractions. The more distractions we have, the easier it becomes to lose them.
The good news is, maybe, that because we are more likely to lose things when we have so many of them (distractions), we will be able to face ourselves with more ease.
Maybe fear of abandonment is, after all, a healthy (yet painful) emotion that is signaling to us that we need to look inside.
😮this was amazing. Loved every word. Great speaker😅thanks
Thanks @cameronjones7133 🙏
Thank you so much. Your earnestness and compassion was felt.
A relationship can definitely be a distraction
Passive aggressiveness comes to one thing, fear that we ill be abandoned when we are true ourselves. Why are we so afraid to be abandoned and left alone to ourself. When we are left alone to be ourself. There is no distractions anymore unsolved of pain what we don't want to face.
Pleasing others, letting others to cross our boundaries, being controlled, blaming others, being manipulated, feeling like victim and being emotionally abused. It's all better than distractions than just left alone unsolved pain without our feelings of worthiness. When they give self- treatment and we can pretend that it's not happening. Sarcasm, interesting what you say that or think that.
Running away from responsibility to talk to them. Root cause of being victim passive aggressive behavior. Unconsciously remaining the victim still serves as distraction from our own unsolved pain. It limits us to live true,free and natural and rich life, what we are born for live. Instead of solving the root cause of being victim.
Changing offender for my benefit. It doesn't help me to get out of the role of victim.
Changing the own dark place,where we are living. It's important to turn the lights itself. We'll have to face our own pain and fear and solve them like root up. Only way to change we look at things. We stop to blame others and we take responsibility. We don't be anymore victim but independently fullfilled and driven by born inner power. Many years struggling is to solve that root and not feel the pain again. Solving the pain helps us to get out of being victim and it creates us for unique and natural life.
There is symptoms.. like being passive aggressive behavior. We build control of wall around of our heart. We build it by mind. We start live through our mind and thinking and not through our heart. We use our thinking to search distractions out of ourself order not to feel pain. Problem is that we don't just cover our pain but pure feelings. We should not run away from our feelings..
Fear of abandonment 11min... forward
I have a friend who stays at my home when she visits from another state. I often feel her behavior towards me is passive aggressive.
Example: I'm working in my office and she looks in and asks if I'm ok.
I say yes, just working a tough problem.
She says... am I the cause? do you want me to stay somewhere else?
Which leaves me dumbfounded and annoyed because what I'm working on has nothing to do with her.
Example: I say I avoid certain foods because it causes gout flare up. She immediately looks it up on her smart phone to see if what I'm saying is true.
Example: I tell her about some projects I'm working on such as helping my brother build a garage.
She's says... I'm impressed you can do that. Even though she knows I have built many such things before. Or she's implying that I'm not the type to help others.
Just a few weeks ago she and a friend spend a week at my home. While I was at work her friend burned bacon on the stove that stunk up my entire house(it actually still smells bad today)
She says... don't say anything because her friends feelings would be hurt. So I live in a smelly house but I'm not allowed to express my displeasure. A few days later they cook more bacon(not burned this time) but it adds to the bad odor.
I text her... No more frying bacon.
She acts like I'm being an ass for complaining.
If you want to become independent of other's peoples behaviour, I have 4 free videos that build upon this video at: www.alive-academy.com I suggest you to check out.
So I become their distraction from their pain and therefore addictive it makes since
Yes, but once we change our focus from others towards ourselves, our real liberating journey starts. To dive deeper into the matter I made 4 videos for you @ www.alive-academy.com Enjoy! 💎🍀🙏❤️
Im just gonna be real kinda crappy to build up this you have the meaning of life narrative then leave an outside link for it. Feels very cringey and snake oil. I did not click the link but ill take a shot. You must love and accept yourself fully. You must know your inherent worth and value and know you dont have to do anything to have this value. It also helps if you are living into the person you want to be. You should have a life plan and be working towards it but understand you already are worthy of love 100%. Lastly you must own that the meaning of life is love - love for yourself, others, everything in the universe. It is ok to put yourself first (except special circumstances ie children). Let go of mistakes of the past - everything that has happened brought you here and made you who you are. Today is the only day that matters. I cant say it enough the point of the whole thing is love. You really must own that.
Thank you very much for such a great , honest and true video. Endless thanks.
You are welcome! thank you for expressing your gratitude!
I have tried to say that "interesting" but they just say I take them as a joke :/
Hi Veronica, if you turn your focus a 180° from 'them' to why 'you' use them as a distraction from unsolved pain within yourself and solve that pain within, you wouldn't mind how they react. If you want to know the theory how to solve the root of all pain, than check out my 4 free videos at: www.alive-academy.com
Thank you.
You are welcome Nico
Relatable and beautiful, thank You for sharing!
Your voice is so soothing
This is SUCH an excellent video. Wow. It really helps my ocd leagues better.
I despise the title of this video . Dealing with some one who is passive aggressive and suffering from their abusive behavior doesn’t make you a weak or a victim
I grew up in a very competitive family - lots of sarcasm, petty insults, physical taunts. Very hard to get over and to this day I still deal with painful passive-aggressive remarks from siblings.
I do like this guy but I don’t know if I want to do the program. 😃
On a bright side , it teach u to deal with toxic, competitive, passive agressive people in the future.
This is mind blowing. Excellent! Thanks for sharing. 🙏🏻
I want to sincerely say thank you so much for making this vid.....
Last week I was told by a person that I love that I'm victemizing myself and it hit me so hard I was denying it all along (I was also really hurt because of the fact that it was from someone who I really cared and at that moment I was seeking understanding from people around me)
After thinking that it's "probably" true because it hurts so much I began to search the internet and found this vid....
And she was right....I was right....
It's exactly like how you explained....
Now I know the root and all its causes, it might take some time but I will make myself face it
Thank you :D!!!!
You are welcome Zerus! Enjoy your liberation!
Excellent video, great insight. Love the delivery. 🙏
This is an EXCELLENT video!
Very well articulated and presented.
👌
Thank you for you kind words, that means a lot to me 🙏
God bless you for making this video. Thank you
Thanks! You are welcome!
Your video was really captivating because of the insights you share - thank you. I was actually looking for something else but your video came up in the seach and looked interesting. I was wondering, are you now in a space where you feel all your issues are resolved or do you still struggle in this area? I am just curious.
I noticed passive agresive people are evil independently of me. They are evil in general.
Even though bullying and passive aggressive behavior is wrong, I like how he points out that we bear some responsibility in the equation by recognizing what's happening and not getting sucked into the victim role.
This is the most valuable information in the video. I knew everything other than that in this video before healing. The healing cane when I realized the choice to be a victim or a Victor. Ever suffice then no narc can get traction. I enjoy dancing with them now because they are notorious for being on auto pilot so little conscious thought goes into their strategy. It's easy to trick them as long as they feel they are winning because of that lol
I use their abusive nature to show society and punish them publicly by playing the victim role but with a plan that springs on them when they bite.
This was such good info thank you...
Where was this video 30 years ago. Great talk!
Thanks Corvette!
Superb analysis. Well done.
Thanks Nat
You seem to make the assumption that everybody is being passive aggressive towards us. It is about one asshole at work who does this with everybody but you want us to look deep inside ourselves
Or we stay a victim of passive aggressive behavior because we have people depending on us to stay.
Once we shift our focus from the passive aggressive behaviour towards ourselves, and learn to solve all unsolved issues that surface in relation to that behaviour, we become independently fulfilled. I suggest you to watch my 4 free videos regarding your complete liberation @www.alive-academy.com 😊❤️💎🙏🍀
Thank you,so very much.
"Know thyself"
Very good video...
I have done this...
My ex was a narc...
I was afraid of him..
And my mother also...
I was afraid of hurting her feelings..
So I would keep quiet..
Then later let it out of my system after going insane,,
Thank you man, your video helped my soul
How to stop passive agressive behevior
Me: D I S C O M B O B U L A T E
Gender biased. So, guys don't experience this at all. Don't worry, dude above has answers as a novice-to-be.
sometimes people just wount stop. You can go "oh I Wonder why you think that" and they will just go on a on insulting and being offensive and saying no sence or logical responses just hate. It just ends up with responding to thous offences for taking on personal limits or walking away any of thous really satisfying.
Thank you...this just gave me wings✌
Thanks for great talks, really true
Really interesting, thank you 💎
thank you.
I love love this video, thanks so much!!
Very helpful thank you!!
Yep I have a tumor & my nerves are shot .
But how do you deal with someone who is aggressive and has threatened violence towards you when you didn't do any thing wrong. And you can't avoid them because they work at your place of work. And the fear is, fear of being attacked
great video! I`m sure that i pointed many people to the right direction