Cargo officer: Hey, hold up there commander. This shipment was supposed to be 24 tons of brandy. But you only delivered 20. Jingles: Oh dear. That's very odd and mysterious. Oh, I know, they must have boiled off from the heat while I was fuel scooping this one star. Cargo Officer: *-peers over Jingles shoulder at cutter bridge littered with piles of empty brandy bottles=* Boiled off you say? Jingles: Well you see, I had blacked out for a while you see so I was there scooping a little longer than I expected... Cargo Officer: Uh huh. Sir, we're gonna need to give you a breathalyzer test... Jingles: What?!? This is completely outrageous! I would never fly drunk! Cargo Officer: *-taps his tablet a few times and holds up video of the jingles landing at **6:50* Jingles: That's... that's just how I fly. Normally. Cargo Officer: Sure it is. Right this way sir.
That's the safest option, although it takes you out of the station, thus wasting some time. Deploying and stowing the landing gear is a 'maybe it will work' trick.
I'll add my tips to this one so more people see them: CG rewards: yours are listed in the Transaction page on Left panel. If you don't turn in within 2 weeks you get the payout automatically. Also, check with Contacts just in case there's shenanigans there. Edit: he actually did turn in by hitting complete at 0:30 The issue with the Galaxy Map: is a bug where on searching for a system it moves to that system but highlights your current one instead. If you don't watch for this behaviour and click search again it will start skipping to the next alphabetically valid search result (a feature so you can search approx names). When it runs out of valid system name results it will go through station names and because Lave is so short it's easy to find stations with that in their text. The simplest work around would be to slightly move the GM cursor a hair so it refocuses on the target you are looking at. Alternatively backing out and restarting the search will fix it too.
i love how jingles always shows up in the wrong ship for the job. i imagine him irl sitting at home on the couch in a tuxedo, going to the bank in swimming pants or trying to buy weed in the park wearing a police uniform.
3rd explanation for the missing 4 tons of very exclusive brandy. captain jingles is a proud adherent to the british naval tradition of being drunk at the helm of ships 4 tons ought to give a decent buzz to even a salty sea dog such as him
I was just going to go type this! I mean, 4 tones of lavian brandy “mysteriously” goes missing after having crashed twice, aaaand yeah, it’s the computers fault!
I even had the docking computer installed when rescuing refugees from the burning station, just to get smoother landings on the rescue ship. I started messing with the poor computer and used it mostly for automatic pad finding and landing gear deployment.
When you boiled your ship while refueling the cargo bay hatch failed and 4 units of that brandy floated away. the cargo bay hatch is always the first to go while overheating and if that happens in normal space you can turn around and pick the stuff back up. In your case however the brandy was gone for good either way since you were on supercruise.
@@georgebizos944 - the hatch is automatic, it would have a solenoid-type latch. Y'know, you open it remotely when you start collecting stuff. I think a better question would be "why does the automatic loading system dump so much cargo when it would likely have melted and jammed instead?" ...
@@LordRenegrade Yes, even with a fully automatic system there should be triple security locks. If you cargo hatch is fried you should need to dock at a station to repair before being able to dump cargo, not the other way around (cargo is dumping itself). And then we have the "reboot and repair" which would close the cargo hatch by cannibalizing your FSD and other systems.
Right? And why isn’t the cargo secured in the bay? Even if the hatch fails, why does everything seem to be just floating around in the bay and make its way out the very small hatchway?
@@McMannis85 Maybe the same guy that designed locks for the hatch also did the magnetic locks for the cargo -> in case of failure open. Just hope this dude wasn't responsible for airlocks as well.
@@lexmoloch Yeah it's really not Jingles forgetfulness that's to blame here, right? *faint shotgun coggin noises* Yeah yeah, off to the salt-mines I go :D
Jingles at the beginning of the video: collect his reward Jingles at the end of the video: complains that there is no reward ah Jingles, please never change
That landing was iconic! Thank you so much that made my day! I didn't do my research either and started in a type-9, but quickly switched over to my exploration phantom, which has after replacing an afmu 64T of cargo space, 55 Ly laden jump range (not fully engineered yet) and around 320/400 m/s speed/boost. I found the best route so far to be Baal - Kamitra - Lave - Baal, for a 20min roundtrip and 1.95 luxury goods/minute.
when you overheat your cargo hatch is the first thing to start malfunctioning. you lost the brandy when you went afk but it didn't "burn off", your ship shat it out.
*Jingles mention not doing enough research on the mission at Ngadandari* Me: Yep *Jingles complains about the horrendously long voyage of 42k lightseconds* Me waiting for the 501k lightseconds voyage to Napier Terminal to finish: Yeeeep
Anyone else notice that jingles started the video in the Blaaw Hub in the Tenche System and handed in the community goal? and apparently forgot by the the time the end of the video was being recorded...assuming he knew what he doing to begin with... which i doubt very much lol
Yes i did, i had to watch the start again to be sure but I notice his start star port and thought now he is flying back to it again, he is so great it is so fun to watch his videos and his laughs makes me so happy 😂😂
He was arrested after the ship was destroyed, all cargo lost. But they may have sneaked in a cargo warping trap, knowing jingles was going for rare stuff :D
Back in the mid-80's of Elite a docking computer was a must. Even if you managed the finiky flying required to match rotation there seemed to be a 50/50 chance that you'd run straight into a ship launch that the game thought was a good idea not to tell you about. First purchase!
Most likely 3th option Jingles the hopeless drunk that he is managed to polish off a full 4 tons of the spirit that was for the prince by himself then tried to manually dock the ship
Perhaps when landing you should try to nose in to the pad so you can see where you're going. That blind landing you attempted is just begging for something to go wrong.
this is exactly what I think every time I see him attempt a manual landing. I think he's imagining it's the best way to land because that's how the computer does it. The best way I've found is to line up with your pad and then angle your nose towards it and swoop in.
My dear evil gnome overlord and master of the Saltmines. I would like to bring to your attention that you started AT Blauuw Hub and probably already collected your reward. I also would like to check your deadzone of your Joystick on the lateral movement in the landing overrides, because you seemed to be moving laterally to the left. Last but not least i'd like to make a Video suggestion. Could you please in your infinite wisdom make a Lore series of Elite dangerous? The one from obsidian art is too brief and the one from Drewwalter has too much nonsense in there (talking about things happening in Front of him and to the community), as it was an unofficial community event. I like the chronological style more than the theme based one. Hearing the lore from your mouth would be like Gospel to your loyal sla ehm i mean peasants.
Sigh, ED should change the docking computer, supercruise assist and fuel scoop just like the discovery scanner, a build it function of the ship. Or maybe a separate special slot for them. Also, those mailslot entrances and landing pads, better give them a lot of bug spray, cuz they really like to mess up your day.
20:22 it doesn't boil off, the cargo hatch malfunctions and you start dropping cargo, next to pirates interdicting and using cargo hatch opening limpets. But i don't think it happens when in FSD mode, you got to drop out of - maybe it is not displayed?
Had to pay the Sun Tax once in a asp ex, there was only one ice diamond left in my cargo hold. This was before I learned that some sun do not like it if you try to refuel.
To address the grievances listed by jingles at 19:36 1) you went to the lave system first then failed to select it before hitting "plot route" then searching it again, the game assumed that the system it provided you with first was not what you wanted and took you to the next system. 2) that pad was recently vacated and was lowering itself down spinning around and popping back up, kinda like the inverse of the launch sequence. The pad hit your ship as it was popping up. 3) the overheat caused your cargo scoop to fail venting some of your cargo into space
Jingles, when you were telling us about getting a large ship (possibly a Type 10) caught in the "pylons" outside the mailslot of a station, I couldn't help but be reminded of The Burr Pit's regular sign-off, "o7 CMDRs. Follow the greens on the way out and DO keep clear of the toast rack." 😂
Frankly Jingles, your attempts at landing were so bad you might as well lie to us because there is no lie that could possibly be worse than being a nub in a top level ship (for the imperial faction, worse!) On a separate note, Considering the sheer size of the imperial cutter or the federal corvette, and they’re named after small ships in modern navies, I would love to see imperial and federal destroyer, cruiser and battleship analogues in the future, after the odyssey expansion. Thargoid motherships ought to get smashed one way or another, without war against the human factions if it can be afforded.
Cruisers are in the game they are just NPC, id personally like to see them used more frequently. and know that fleet carriers are a thing we should totally be able to crew massive warships like the Farragut and Majestic Class battle cruisers. but destroyers and battleships would be cool too.
1.7km for the Majestic Class Imperial Interdictor, which is the analogue to the Farragut Battlecruisers of the Federation. Yes those are two entirely separate classes, and both of these are the same size (lengthwise at least) as a Star Wars Imperial Star Destroyer. Of which from the Star Destroyer Destroyer, the rebellion counterpart of the Mon Calamari "cruisers" are smaller. Made more complicated when you realise there is a ship smaller then both called the Dreadnought cruiser. The ww2-modern naval system is often entirely used for "rule of cool" in terms of names for sci-fis.
@The Infidel I don't understand your point sir, regardless of real world naming conventions. The Farragut is the federation "capital class" "battlecruiser" in game. I am saying they would be cool to play, not that the name is historically accurate.
@@grassnake7able one doesn't typically play space games for historical realism. but I do wish they would put a little effort into making the Navies of Elite Dangerous have a slightly more impressive presence. and logical coherence.
Everyone else here is laughing at Jingles' screw ups. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here asking what the hell kinda memorial requires hundreds of thousands of tons of cigars, brandy, etc.
I think the main source of your problem is that you appear to not understand just how BIG you ship really is. Your flying an A380 like it's a bloody Cessna or a Type 42 destroyer like a speedboat.
And, the Clipper / Cutter has a rather wide ass, and Jingles forgets that occasionally. If you've ever seen a dually pickup with its rear fenders shredded, you know the type.
A380? More like you're flying your WW2-era fleet carrier like it's a Cessna. The Imperial Blob-Tub is almost 200M long, nearly twice as long as the Type 42. Hell even the sidewinder is like 21m across. The game gives a terrible sense of scale as it's almost impossible to approach the ships in any human-like way (so far), with collision boxes and shields and stuff keeping you at long range. Plus things like landing pads increase in size as the ships does...the sidewinder would disappear into a large pad's landing view..
My docking computer repeatedly bounces those rear wings of my 9 heavy on the side of the toast rack. I have made a few complete messups on manual, but when I don't I keep well away from the side walls. The computer avoid using half the mail slot, despite never allowing two ships to meet.
I run docking computers on all my ships, not because i cant land....but because landing is for the help. Youre a Duke Jingles. It is expected of us to pass off menial tasks like landing to the help.
The Empire cordially welcomed me yesterday to Oterma Station when I arrived to deliver 61 tonnes of cargo yesterday, Jingles... I'm a Federal Navy Chief Petty Officer. :P
I'm just going to point out that during the cold war, the typical conversation between the US carrier group and the Russian spy trawler caught inside went as follows: "Hello Ivan. Got any vodka?" "Hello Joe. Got any porn?"
I'd love to see how these CG progressions compare to similar ones from before fleet carriers got added. The blink and you miss it leap in the tenche one hints that frontier underestimated the numbers just a bit.
With a little help from a friend you can get around those quantity limitations. Or if you have a Fleet Carrier. Go in and purchase as many of whatever as they will allow you to buy. Launch, and meet up with a waiting friend (or fleet carrier). Transfer goods to the Friend or Fleet Carrier. Log out to desktop (like you were farming a high grade emission signal). Log back in and proced back into the starport to once again purchase as much of whatever as they will allow you to buy.
Just aim at the landing pad with the nose of the ship. Dive down. Then level out once you're in place. Also the star chart will cycle through similar sounding names if you keep clicking. There might be a station or person called Lave in some system for example, or it might think you're bad at spelling. Etc etc. Also you got the reward for the CG at the start of the video....
"I screw up in these videos so you don't have to!" Actually, watching Jingles screw up is very entertaining! LOL! Also, we're all in this human experience together. I'm glad I'm not the only one who screws up. :)
You know Jingles, sometimes it's better to sacrifice a few points of cargo space to reinstall that docking computer. For example, I bought a Type 9 recently to be my dedicated miner. I left the to 8E cargo racks in, stripped out the excess cargo racks and dropped in a docking computer in the smallest open slot. Fitted it out, named it Space Cow with the ID MO-OOO and off I go. Yeah, not trying a manual landing in THAT thing. Edit: I confirmed that the discount from this does stack with station discounts.
LOL! Jingles, I've logged in o0n the PC rather the phone or the se X-Box just to send my commiserations. On the other hand it's god to see another old man gamer has to put up with the same 5hite I go through gaming. Love your work, don't ever change. Love Walynds
thank GODS. finally a Elite video. and a long one. thank you jingles. can i ask that when these commuity goals are over, maybe we can see something more about the farquards(aliens)
So after watching a few of these Jingles videos on Elite Dangerous I thought to myself "Hey, this game looks really dope. I think I'ma go see how much it costs and maybe pick it up for myself to enjoy"... Went to Steam and saw it happened to be on sale, so I proceeded to get all excited and bought the package deal with Horizons DLC and all just as Jingles suggests. Waited for the download and install processes to complete and got all jazzed as I went to boot the game for the very first time. Got presented with the special Elite Dangerous game launching console where I needed to create a user account with the company that makes the game etc. etc. ok nice! Time to launch this epic space experience finally, I can't wait!! So I press on launch game and a small black window pops up like it's about to swap into the full screen game... Error: Failure to launch game blah blah blah, click here if you want to compile a failure report and send it to the development team blah blah... I've sent 4 error reports now from each of the 4 times I've tried to launch the game, and have never heard back from anyone (they have all my contact info. from creating the user account) nor have I been able to launch the game even once yet. I have since updated my entire operating system to Windows 8.1 since Windows 8 is no longer fully supported by Microsoft, and I have also updated my graphics card's drivers to the latest and greatest version that can be found... No luck at all, while meanwhile I can run every other modern title I own with no issues. Really feels good to pay for a game and it's DLC only to not even have enjoyed 1 minute of it so far, and with no clear indication from the game's error pop up message to point me in any troubleshooting direction as to what the issue might be I have no way of troubleshooting this issue any further. I've already done the basics of updating the GPU drivers and my entire operating system to boot, but no it's some other random boot issue exclusive to this game since all my other PC games boot and run just fine on this rig. Good times, as now I'm back to where I started of just watching Jingles have fun in this game that I've actually paid for now myself but still can't play.
@@gsylass Did you miss the whole section where I commented on how I realized that Windows 8 was EOL now, so due to that potentially causing an issue I had gone ahead and updated to Windows 8.1 which is still a supported OS to this day as one of my first troubleshooting steps? Also, while I might not have the world's sickest gaming PC setup I am able to run Battlefield 5, Fallout 4, GTA V, the latest iterations of Assassin's Creed, etc. etc. and any handful of other modern games that are more graphically demanding without any issues. I'm currently running Windows 8.1 64 bit operating system, AMD Sapphire HD7770 GPU, 24GB of RAM, and a quad core Intel i5 3.30 GHz processor, so I'd be very surprised to find out that while this rig can handle every other demanding game out there that somehow Elite Dangerous (released 6 years ago now back in 2014) is soooo damn advanced and demanding that its player base must own at least a $3,000 rig running nothing but the most current Windows 10 operating system in order to even play on lower settings let alone high... Uh oh though, guess what dude... It doesn't make sense that Windows 10 would even be a requirement here because Elite Dangerous was released back in 2014 and Windows 10 wasn't released until 2015, so I guess that doesn't help your argument much does it? It looks like therefore Elite Dangerous must have been designed to run specifically on Windows 8/8.1 since Windows 10 didn't even exist at that time yet.... Cmon man.
Jingles, docking computers sometime run you straight in to the wall on the way out and even block the mail slot. I too got pinned by one of these Phantom Whatevers (hole in the ship model) and the landing gear raise and drop no longer works. I think it is a new "engage the player" mechanic Frontier added. (Like core chunks falling into the asteroids you crack open or SRV wheels falling into guardian buildings.) Fly safe Commander o7.
The 3rd, and very likely correct, explanation is that the heat from sayd afk-fuel star damaged your cargo hatch, scattering all that extremely expensive beverage across its corona. ...it might have boiled off (aka despawn) after sitting there for a while with nobody bothering to scoop it up tho. Also, if im not entirely mistaken those "Cruisers" really are 2 of the legendary Majestic Class Interdictors, the Imperium seems to be unreasonably proud of. (At least if you consider how relatively easy it is to "convince" the captains of those things to run for their lives, when encountering them in combat zones.)
Here's a tip when manually landing like the docking computer does (that is, flying forward until you are directly above the pad, then dropping down), when you are almost perfectly positioned above the pad, the little solid blip in the compass will reach the bottom of the compass and it will turn hollow. The moment it switches from solid to hollow indicates that you are almost directly above the pad. I say almost because I think it differs a little based on how large the ship is. Then, if you drop down slowly, you'll get the landing positioning indicators in time to tweak the lateral position with your lateral thrusters. That's how I manually land in my Cutter. But yeah, I use a docking computer too when I'm running back-to-back trading runs.
Jingles, you are not being screwed with regarding your Lave Brandy cargo... Ships and aircraft are not loaded front to back; it is all about weight and balance. The developers knew this and they have added that to Elite, which was very clever of them! Four tons of the brandy where stored in the cargo container you sold off when you installed your Docking Computer and that is where those missing four tons went to. You where compensated for the four tons of brandy, but at the Standard Galactic Price, which is almost nothing. The same thing happened to me once and that is when it dawned upon me not to mess with my Cargo Containers while it has cargo in them. Right now, the game does not allow you to choose where to store cargo, in which containers and that means you can be selling off cargo that you actually want to keep as you have adequately demonstrated for us! :-D
@The Mighty Jingles It looked like your throttle was stuck on reverse rather than forward when you lost your Cutter. Not sure if you're using the forward/reverse toggle or have your joystick's throttle set to continuous, but it's something to consider. In regards to manual landings in general, I make heavy use of a key to kill my thrust entirely (I *think* the default is "X", but I might've rebound it) and then use my thrusters. I also tend to come in at an angle instead of trying to drop straight down onto the pad; this allows me to have the pad in sight the whole time and adjust accordingly. Basically, you come in at an angle, kill your main throttle once you get close, and then use your thrusters to achieve a pinpoint landing. This works for both flight assist on and flight assist off (I usually fly with the latter these days).
Yes good weekend I am having one yes... Always excited for the Elite dangerous vids, Never played the game, has no appeal for me to play but I do love watching you play it.. Perhaps that may be because of your Jingles Moments :P 13:22 was this another one? I think so!
Today I've learned that a "Jingles Landing" maneuver is to aim roughly for your pad, don't look down and drop it like a rock until something goes thud...
Also, friendly tip for newbie pilots, don't rely 100% on autopilot. Always watch what it's doing. Your right side screen under ship/flight assistance has the on/off switch for auto dock/auto launch. If the autopilot is about to use your ship to try and make the mail-slot a bit wider, turn it off and take over manual control...
I took a fed mission yesterday that had a delivery point 75kls from system entry... Heading to Blaauw I hit 300c max speed. On the Fed run, I was at almost 250c by the time I was 42kls from the drop point. _That_ run I hit a max speed of 419c. I had to make five runs, but the rep I made doing it got me through almost two full ranks in the Fed navy.
If you search in the galaxy map for a name like "Lave" it will show you the system first, if you search again it will show planets, stations or outposts with "Lave" in its name.
"You are hereby notified that the Pilots Federation has determined that you are to unskilled to be allowed to dock at any station without the aid of a docking assist computer. Should you violate this ruling we will suspend your captains license forthwith. Have a nice day!"
When your ship overheated the cargo bay will have malfunctioned, when that happens it randomly ejects a unit of cargo from your bay. This will happen several times until you cooldown the ship
Another possible explanation for the missing brandy came to mind. I'm not sure if he got the brandy first and then went to space jail or if it was the other way around. I'm choosing not to go back and check and just believe some dirty rozzers decided to punish you a bit more by confiscating a couple of extremely rare and valuable brandy from the cargo bay!
Jingles, in the grim darkness of the far future, tries to land his expensive spacecraft like a 1940s prop plane and then wonders why he's fucking it up. land it like a VTOL, my dude
"I probably should have done a little bit of research before embarking on this mission" -- Jingles, every other Elite episode
you mispelled "every 10 minutes of a video"
Him doing that then miss id'ing thing... Isn't that why we watch him. Oh ya can't forget the landings...
Cargo officer: Hey, hold up there commander. This shipment was supposed to be 24 tons of brandy. But you only delivered 20.
Jingles: Oh dear. That's very odd and mysterious. Oh, I know, they must have boiled off from the heat while I was fuel scooping this one star.
Cargo Officer: *-peers over Jingles shoulder at cutter bridge littered with piles of empty brandy bottles=* Boiled off you say?
Jingles: Well you see, I had blacked out for a while you see so I was there scooping a little longer than I expected...
Cargo Officer: Uh huh. Sir, we're gonna need to give you a breathalyzer test...
Jingles: What?!? This is completely outrageous! I would never fly drunk!
Cargo Officer: *-taps his tablet a few times and holds up video of the jingles landing at **6:50*
Jingles: That's... that's just how I fly. Normally.
Cargo Officer: Sure it is. Right this way sir.
6:50 - if you ever get stuck - exit to the main menu and don’t just stand there like Jingles and watch your ship explode
Great tip. I've died just like Jingles did before. I never thought of exiting.
That's the safest option, although it takes you out of the station, thus wasting some time. Deploying and stowing the landing gear is a 'maybe it will work' trick.
I'll add my tips to this one so more people see them:
CG rewards: yours are listed in the Transaction page on Left panel. If you don't turn in within 2 weeks you get the payout automatically. Also, check with Contacts just in case there's shenanigans there. Edit: he actually did turn in by hitting complete at 0:30
The issue with the Galaxy Map: is a bug where on searching for a system it moves to that system but highlights your current one instead. If you don't watch for this behaviour and click search again it will start skipping to the next alphabetically valid search result (a feature so you can search approx names). When it runs out of valid system name results it will go through station names and because Lave is so short it's easy to find stations with that in their text. The simplest work around would be to slightly move the GM cursor a hair so it refocuses on the target you are looking at. Alternatively backing out and restarting the search will fix it too.
Type 10 Transporter
The funny thing is that this sort of situation has happened to Jingles before and he mentioned this solution back then.
i love how jingles always shows up in the wrong ship for the job. i imagine him irl sitting at home on the couch in a tuxedo, going to the bank in swimming pants or trying to buy weed in the park wearing a police uniform.
And mistaking a fire engine for an ambulance?
Or mistaking a Bat-Chat for a Jaageroo.
3rd explanation for the missing 4 tons of very exclusive brandy.
captain jingles is a proud adherent to the british naval tradition of being drunk at the helm of ships
4 tons ought to give a decent buzz to even a salty sea dog such as him
that would explain the landing
And the galaxy map cockup. Cant read a map with crossed eyes
I was just going to go type this! I mean, 4 tones of lavian brandy “mysteriously” goes missing after having crashed twice, aaaand yeah, it’s the computers fault!
@@shadowabsol sometimes a computer needs a nip or two of brandy when jingles is driving.
"I don't have a docking computer in my Imperial Cutter" - Well I can see where this is heading. There's always room for a docking computer Jingles....
Some ships severely lack optional compartments. They may have high class compartments, but you can't mount more things in the same slot, sadly.
@@Philipasu He's in a Cutter... He's not exactly pressed for space or components 😉
@@eldridgep2 As demonstrated by the first chance he got, he bought and installed an Advanced Docking Computer! lol
I even had the docking computer installed when rescuing refugees from the burning station, just to get smoother landings on the rescue ship. I started messing with the poor computer and used it mostly for automatic pad finding and landing gear deployment.
I thought you said "A Jingles Docking Computer" at first, LOL!!
That Jingles landing, we've been missing those :D
It's amazing how he managed it.
That happens to me but in the mail slot when I had the cutter
No auto repair after that jingles landing either lol
When you boiled your ship while refueling the cargo bay hatch failed and 4 units of that brandy floated away. the cargo bay hatch is always the first to go while overheating and if that happens in normal space you can turn around and pick the stuff back up. In your case however the brandy was gone for good either way since you were on supercruise.
@@georgebizos944 - the hatch is automatic, it would have a solenoid-type latch. Y'know, you open it remotely when you start collecting stuff. I think a better question would be "why does the automatic loading system dump so much cargo when it would likely have melted and jammed instead?" ...
@@LordRenegrade Yes, even with a fully automatic system there should be triple security locks. If you cargo hatch is fried you should need to dock at a station to repair before being able to dump cargo, not the other way around (cargo is dumping itself). And then we have the "reboot and repair" which would close the cargo hatch by cannibalizing your FSD and other systems.
Right? And why isn’t the cargo secured in the bay? Even if the hatch fails, why does everything seem to be just floating around in the bay and make its way out the very small hatchway?
@@McMannis85 Maybe the same guy that designed locks for the hatch also did the magnetic locks for the cargo -> in case of failure open. Just hope this dude wasn't responsible for airlocks as well.
Jingles, you already collected the rewards of the previous community goal at the start of the video.
Yeah, the game really should indicate more clearly that clicking on "complete" gives the reward.
At about 0:30
ruclips.net/video/8UCW7eW6I5M/видео.html
@@lexmoloch Yeah it's really not Jingles forgetfulness that's to blame here, right?
*faint shotgun coggin noises*
Yeah yeah, off to the salt-mines I go :D
Jingles at the beginning of the video: collect his reward
Jingles at the end of the video: complains that there is no reward
ah Jingles, please never change
That landing was iconic! Thank you so much that made my day!
I didn't do my research either and started in a type-9, but quickly switched over to my exploration phantom, which has after replacing an afmu 64T of cargo space, 55 Ly laden jump range (not fully engineered yet) and around 320/400 m/s speed/boost. I found the best route so far to be Baal - Kamitra - Lave - Baal, for a 20min roundtrip and 1.95 luxury goods/minute.
when you overheat your cargo hatch is the first thing to start malfunctioning. you lost the brandy when you went afk but it didn't "burn off", your ship shat it out.
*Jingles mention not doing enough research on the mission at Ngadandari*
Me: Yep
*Jingles complains about the horrendously long voyage of 42k lightseconds*
Me waiting for the 501k lightseconds voyage to Napier Terminal to finish: Yeeeep
Anyone else notice that jingles started the video in the Blaaw Hub in the Tenche System and handed in the community goal?
and apparently forgot by the the time the end of the video was being recorded...assuming he knew what he doing to begin with... which i doubt very much lol
Yes i did, i had to watch the start again to be sure but I notice his start star port and thought now he is flying back to it again, he is so great it is so fun to watch his videos and his laughs makes me so happy 😂😂
Jingles would be that guy you see taking 20 minutes trying to park his huge truck at Walmart.
When you were arrested, the guards pilfered your cargo!
He was arrested after the ship was destroyed, all cargo lost. But they may have sneaked in a cargo warping trap, knowing jingles was going for rare stuff :D
"Mmm, that's definitely not fake Lavian. Hey, you check it- it's not illegal moonshine, right?"
"Oh yeah, for sure. That's the stuff."
lol, yeah - a whole bunch of happily pissed guards drinking very expensive brandy :D
ACAB still applies in the 34th century.
Any landing that you can walk away from.... well, isn't a proper Jingles Landing
Back in the mid-80's of Elite a docking computer was a must. Even if you managed the finiky flying required to match rotation there seemed to be a 50/50 chance that you'd run straight into a ship launch that the game thought was a good idea not to tell you about. First purchase!
Most likely 3th option
Jingles the hopeless drunk that he is managed to polish off a full 4 tons of the spirit that was for the prince by himself then tried to manually dock the ship
Perhaps when landing you should try to nose in to the pad so you can see where you're going.
That blind landing you attempted is just begging for something to go wrong.
this is exactly what I think every time I see him attempt a manual landing. I think he's imagining it's the best way to land because that's how the computer does it. The best way I've found is to line up with your pad and then angle your nose towards it and swoop in.
My dear evil gnome overlord and master of the Saltmines. I would like to bring to your attention that you started AT Blauuw Hub and probably already collected your reward.
I also would like to check your deadzone of your Joystick on the lateral movement in the landing overrides, because you seemed to be moving laterally to the left.
Last but not least i'd like to make a Video suggestion. Could you please in your infinite wisdom make a Lore series of Elite dangerous? The one from obsidian art is too brief and the one from Drewwalter has too much nonsense in there (talking about things happening in Front of him and to the community), as it was an unofficial community event.
I like the chronological style more than the theme based one.
Hearing the lore from your mouth would be like Gospel to your loyal sla ehm i mean peasants.
he is using mouse and keyboard..
Sigh, ED should change the docking computer, supercruise assist and fuel scoop just like the discovery scanner, a build it function of the ship. Or maybe a separate special slot for them. Also, those mailslot entrances and landing pads, better give them a lot of bug spray, cuz they really like to mess up your day.
Your 4 t of brandy got ejected when the cargo hatch malfunctioned due to overheat.
Yup, it's happened to me more times than I care to recount.
20:22 it doesn't boil off, the cargo hatch malfunctions and you start dropping cargo, next to pirates interdicting and using cargo hatch opening limpets. But i don't think it happens when in FSD mode, you got to drop out of - maybe it is not displayed?
Had to pay the Sun Tax once in a asp ex, there was only one ice diamond left in my cargo hold. This was before I learned that some sun do not like it if you try to refuel.
I like to think he drank it :-p
@@zaqsdk ... and then forgot he did. I mean, after 4 tons of brandy I wouldn't remember either.
To address the grievances listed by jingles at 19:36 1) you went to the lave system first then failed to select it before hitting "plot route" then searching it again, the game assumed that the system it provided you with first was not what you wanted and took you to the next system. 2) that pad was recently vacated and was lowering itself down spinning around and popping back up, kinda like the inverse of the launch sequence. The pad hit your ship as it was popping up. 3) the overheat caused your cargo scoop to fail venting some of your cargo into space
Jingles, when you were telling us about getting a large ship (possibly a Type 10) caught in the "pylons" outside the mailslot of a station, I couldn't help but be reminded of The Burr Pit's regular sign-off, "o7 CMDRs. Follow the greens on the way out and DO keep clear of the toast rack." 😂
Frankly Jingles, your attempts at landing were so bad you might as well lie to us because there is no lie that could possibly be worse than being a nub in a top level ship (for the imperial faction, worse!)
On a separate note, Considering the sheer size of the imperial cutter or the federal corvette, and they’re named after small ships in modern navies, I would love to see imperial and federal destroyer, cruiser and battleship analogues in the future, after the odyssey expansion. Thargoid motherships ought to get smashed one way or another, without war against the human factions if it can be afforded.
Cruisers are in the game they are just NPC, id personally like to see them used more frequently. and know that fleet carriers are a thing we should totally be able to crew massive warships like the Farragut and Majestic Class battle cruisers. but destroyers and battleships would be cool too.
1.7km for the Majestic Class Imperial Interdictor, which is the analogue to the Farragut Battlecruisers of the Federation.
Yes those are two entirely separate classes, and both of these are the same size (lengthwise at least) as a Star Wars Imperial Star Destroyer.
Of which from the Star Destroyer Destroyer, the rebellion counterpart of the Mon Calamari "cruisers" are smaller.
Made more complicated when you realise there is a ship smaller then both called the Dreadnought cruiser.
The ww2-modern naval system is often entirely used for "rule of cool" in terms of names for sci-fis.
@The Infidel I don't understand your point sir, regardless of real world naming conventions. The Farragut is the federation "capital class" "battlecruiser" in game. I am saying they would be cool to play, not that the name is historically accurate.
@@grassnake7able one doesn't typically play space games for historical realism. but I do wish they would put a little effort into making the Navies of Elite Dangerous have a slightly more impressive presence. and logical coherence.
Jingles: I will have to do a manual landing!
Me: Jingles! This is a very expensive ship!
Having done this goal in my own Cutter, I would highly recommend the AspX for this mission. 64 tons of cargo is plenty.
About 7 minutes in and already Jingels wrecks his cutter while trying to land. This was painfully hilarious!
Everyone else here is laughing at Jingles' screw ups. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here asking what the hell kinda memorial requires hundreds of thousands of tons of cigars, brandy, etc.
the best kind, one would suppose
Have you never heard of a Wake ???
@@PhilipKerry Never heard of a Wake that requires thousands of tons of cigars, caviar, precious stones, and enough brandy to fill a small lake.
@@addisonwelsh Don't go to a funeral in Dublin then ........
@@PhilipKerry Especially one with a few million (or is that billion?) people in attendence.
Bobby, you need to come in above the pad and drop it in like a helo.
I think the main source of your problem is that you appear to not understand just how BIG you ship really is. Your flying an A380 like it's a bloody Cessna or a Type 42 destroyer like a speedboat.
that's actually a pretty good analogy. and not just for the cutter. basically any large ship can get that applied pretty well.
A380 and then some
And, the Clipper / Cutter has a rather wide ass, and Jingles forgets that occasionally. If you've ever seen a dually pickup with its rear fenders shredded, you know the type.
A380? More like you're flying your WW2-era fleet carrier like it's a Cessna. The Imperial Blob-Tub is almost 200M long, nearly twice as long as the Type 42. Hell even the sidewinder is like 21m across.
The game gives a terrible sense of scale as it's almost impossible to approach the ships in any human-like way (so far), with collision boxes and shields and stuff keeping you at long range. Plus things like landing pads increase in size as the ships does...the sidewinder would disappear into a large pad's landing view..
My docking computer repeatedly bounces those rear wings of my 9 heavy on the side of the toast rack. I have made a few complete messups on manual, but when I don't I keep well away from the side walls. The computer avoid using half the mail slot, despite never allowing two ships to meet.
I run docking computers on all my ships, not because i cant land....but because landing is for the help. Youre a Duke Jingles. It is expected of us to pass off menial tasks like landing to the help.
The Empire cordially welcomed me yesterday to Oterma Station when I arrived to deliver 61 tonnes of cargo yesterday, Jingles...
I'm a Federal Navy Chief Petty Officer. :P
I'm just going to point out that during the cold war, the typical conversation between the US carrier group and the Russian spy trawler caught inside went as follows:
"Hello Ivan. Got any vodka?"
"Hello Joe. Got any porn?"
The heat from the star damaged your cargo scoop and let out the brandy!
Station: nooo you can't just land the largest ship in the game without looking down
Jingles: haha imperial cutter go bonk
"Idle Curiosity", the secret ingredient to the Gnomish Dukes wonderful content.
The missing units of brandy could be the "Angels' Share".
i love the fact the contacts tab was highlighted and he completely ignored it lol
2 tons of brandy boiled off! 2 tons of brandy broke all over the place when the ship bounced on landing pad!
I'd love to see how these CG progressions compare to similar ones from before fleet carriers got added. The blink and you miss it leap in the tenche one hints that frontier underestimated the numbers just a bit.
With a little help from a friend you can get around those quantity limitations. Or if you have a Fleet Carrier. Go in and purchase as many of whatever as they will allow you to buy. Launch, and meet up with a waiting friend (or fleet carrier). Transfer goods to the Friend or Fleet Carrier. Log out to desktop (like you were farming a high grade emission signal). Log back in and proced back into the starport to once again purchase as much of whatever as they will allow you to buy.
Just aim at the landing pad with the nose of the ship. Dive down. Then level out once you're in place.
Also the star chart will cycle through similar sounding names if you keep clicking. There might be a station or person called Lave in some system for example, or it might think you're bad at spelling. Etc etc.
Also you got the reward for the CG at the start of the video....
"I screw up in these videos so you don't have to!"
Actually, watching Jingles screw up is very entertaining! LOL!
Also, we're all in this human experience together. I'm glad I'm not the only one who screws up. :)
dam I was just going to bed! 01:53 am
Oof
TFW when you have to explain in the next video that you f'ed up and completely forgot that you'd already collected the reward
Ahh, the traditional early roll and clobber the nacelles on the mail slot. Took me several goes docking the Cutter before I stopped doing that.
This is where you need a clan to collect 10's at a time, and transfer large amounts to a large ship. Then take turns.
Jingles points out he’s in the top 75%. Another way of putting it is the bottom 25%. 😂🤣
Well, no. The bottom 25% would mean he didn't even make it to the top 75%.
@@Grisu1805 You are correct, but he lost points for his Jingles landing.
You know Jingles, sometimes it's better to sacrifice a few points of cargo space to reinstall that docking computer.
For example, I bought a Type 9 recently to be my dedicated miner. I left the to 8E cargo racks in, stripped out the excess cargo racks and dropped in a docking computer in the smallest open slot. Fitted it out, named it Space Cow with the ID MO-OOO and off I go.
Yeah, not trying a manual landing in THAT thing.
Edit: I confirmed that the discount from this does stack with station discounts.
4 tons of brandy missing & the docking computer smashes ship into landing pad.
Docking Computer... are you drunk?
It's not a docking problem, it's the spacekraken :O
The OBVIOUS solution for the missing brandy is ... *YOU DRUNK IT!*
LOL! Jingles, I've logged in o0n the PC rather the phone or the se X-Box just to send my commiserations. On the other hand it's god to see another old man gamer has to put up with the same 5hite I go through gaming. Love your work, don't ever change. Love Walynds
thank GODS. finally a Elite video. and a long one. thank you jingles.
can i ask that when these commuity goals are over, maybe we can see something more about the farquards(aliens)
So after watching a few of these Jingles videos on Elite Dangerous I thought to myself "Hey, this game looks really dope. I think I'ma go see how much it costs and maybe pick it up for myself to enjoy"... Went to Steam and saw it happened to be on sale, so I proceeded to get all excited and bought the package deal with Horizons DLC and all just as Jingles suggests. Waited for the download and install processes to complete and got all jazzed as I went to boot the game for the very first time. Got presented with the special Elite Dangerous game launching console where I needed to create a user account with the company that makes the game etc. etc. ok nice! Time to launch this epic space experience finally, I can't wait!! So I press on launch game and a small black window pops up like it's about to swap into the full screen game... Error: Failure to launch game blah blah blah, click here if you want to compile a failure report and send it to the development team blah blah... I've sent 4 error reports now from each of the 4 times I've tried to launch the game, and have never heard back from anyone (they have all my contact info. from creating the user account) nor have I been able to launch the game even once yet.
I have since updated my entire operating system to Windows 8.1 since Windows 8 is no longer fully supported by Microsoft, and I have also updated my graphics card's drivers to the latest and greatest version that can be found... No luck at all, while meanwhile I can run every other modern title I own with no issues. Really feels good to pay for a game and it's DLC only to not even have enjoyed 1 minute of it so far, and with no clear indication from the game's error pop up message to point me in any troubleshooting direction as to what the issue might be I have no way of troubleshooting this issue any further. I've already done the basics of updating the GPU drivers and my entire operating system to boot, but no it's some other random boot issue exclusive to this game since all my other PC games boot and run just fine on this rig. Good times, as now I'm back to where I started of just watching Jingles have fun in this game that I've actually paid for now myself but still can't play.
Well windows 8 is EOL so you can't really complain. Windows 10 has been out for how long now? Also Elite needs a pretty good PC to run.
@@gsylass Did you miss the whole section where I commented on how I realized that Windows 8 was EOL now, so due to that potentially causing an issue I had gone ahead and updated to Windows 8.1 which is still a supported OS to this day as one of my first troubleshooting steps? Also, while I might not have the world's sickest gaming PC setup I am able to run Battlefield 5, Fallout 4, GTA V, the latest iterations of Assassin's Creed, etc. etc. and any handful of other modern games that are more graphically demanding without any issues. I'm currently running Windows 8.1 64 bit operating system, AMD Sapphire HD7770 GPU, 24GB of RAM, and a quad core Intel i5 3.30 GHz processor, so I'd be very surprised to find out that while this rig can handle every other demanding game out there that somehow Elite Dangerous (released 6 years ago now back in 2014) is soooo damn advanced and demanding that its player base must own at least a $3,000 rig running nothing but the most current Windows 10 operating system in order to even play on lower settings let alone high... Uh oh though, guess what dude... It doesn't make sense that Windows 10 would even be a requirement here because Elite Dangerous was released back in 2014 and Windows 10 wasn't released until 2015, so I guess that doesn't help your argument much does it? It looks like therefore Elite Dangerous must have been designed to run specifically on Windows 8/8.1 since Windows 10 didn't even exist at that time yet.... Cmon man.
Jingles, docking computers sometime run you straight in to the wall on the way out and even block the mail slot. I too got pinned by one of these Phantom Whatevers (hole in the ship model) and the landing gear raise and drop no longer works. I think it is a new "engage the player" mechanic Frontier added. (Like core chunks falling into the asteroids you crack open or SRV wheels falling into guardian buildings.) Fly safe Commander o7.
The 3rd, and very likely correct, explanation is that the heat from sayd afk-fuel star damaged your cargo hatch, scattering all that extremely expensive beverage across its corona.
...it might have boiled off (aka despawn) after sitting there for a while with nobody bothering to scoop it up tho.
Also, if im not entirely mistaken those "Cruisers" really are 2 of the legendary Majestic Class Interdictors, the Imperium seems to be unreasonably proud of.
(At least if you consider how relatively easy it is to "convince" the captains of those things to run for their lives, when encountering them in combat zones.)
Wow, a re-creation of my 1st Cutter ?flight? o7 Commander!
Here's a tip when manually landing like the docking computer does (that is, flying forward until you are directly above the pad, then dropping down), when you are almost perfectly positioned above the pad, the little solid blip in the compass will reach the bottom of the compass and it will turn hollow. The moment it switches from solid to hollow indicates that you are almost directly above the pad. I say almost because I think it differs a little based on how large the ship is. Then, if you drop down slowly, you'll get the landing positioning indicators in time to tweak the lateral position with your lateral thrusters. That's how I manually land in my Cutter. But yeah, I use a docking computer too when I'm running back-to-back trading runs.
Jingles, you are not being screwed with regarding your Lave Brandy cargo... Ships and aircraft are not loaded front to back; it is all about weight and balance. The developers knew this and they have added that to Elite, which was very clever of them! Four tons of the brandy where stored in the cargo container you sold off when you installed your Docking Computer and that is where those missing four tons went to. You where compensated for the four tons of brandy, but at the Standard Galactic Price, which is almost nothing.
The same thing happened to me once and that is when it dawned upon me not to mess with my Cargo Containers while it has cargo in them. Right now, the game does not allow you to choose where to store cargo, in which containers and that means you can be selling off cargo that you actually want to keep as you have adequately demonstrated for us! :-D
04:34 - That will get you killed in open, Jingles. Yes, really.
Jingles buys a "Jingles Landing Docking Computer" lol priceless
Brandy, cigars, caviar? Oh yeah, this is Elite ...
@The Mighty Jingles It looked like your throttle was stuck on reverse rather than forward when you lost your Cutter. Not sure if you're using the forward/reverse toggle or have your joystick's throttle set to continuous, but it's something to consider. In regards to manual landings in general, I make heavy use of a key to kill my thrust entirely (I *think* the default is "X", but I might've rebound it) and then use my thrusters. I also tend to come in at an angle instead of trying to drop straight down onto the pad; this allows me to have the pad in sight the whole time and adjust accordingly. Basically, you come in at an angle, kill your main throttle once you get close, and then use your thrusters to achieve a pinpoint landing. This works for both flight assist on and flight assist off (I usually fly with the latter these days).
The Lave issue in GalMap was due to stations with L-A-V-E at the beginning of their names in those systems.
I hit this myself aiming for Lave Station.
Yes good weekend I am having one yes... Always excited for the Elite dangerous vids, Never played the game, has no appeal for me to play but I do love watching you play it.. Perhaps that may be because of your Jingles Moments :P
13:22 was this another one? I think so!
I strip my shields on my cutter when running cargo. Never had an issue.
The Mighty Jingles, First Duke of Salt.
That was a very fine Jingles landing. I rate that a 15 out of 10.
You got stuck on one of the flood lights, it happens. I want an FDL made out of whatever material they and made of.
Ah yes, the old saying "Any landing you can walk away from was not a Jingles landing."
Today I've learned that a "Jingles Landing" maneuver is to aim roughly for your pad, don't look down and drop it like a rock until something goes thud...
Also, friendly tip for newbie pilots, don't rely 100% on autopilot. Always watch what it's doing. Your right side screen under ship/flight assistance has the on/off switch for auto dock/auto launch. If the autopilot is about to use your ship to try and make the mail-slot a bit wider, turn it off and take over manual control...
I use my Cutter for mining, with no docking computer. Landing it manually on my carrier is miserable. I feel your pain, Jingles
The "Jingles Effect" is strong in this one...
Yay, the return of Elite. Thanks, commander.
Me thinks the new docking computer achieved sentience and drank the brandy. It should go home because it was drunk.
4:53 Brilliant Jingles moment
I feel like doing this community goal in a federal corvette named 'how's that monarchy treating you'
Thanks for the video Paul. Keep safe and stay well.
Elite: Dangerous - jingles goes to Australia
Ahh, yes. The infamous Jingles landing.
Just send that whole video in as a "Ticket" ... You want your day back.
I took a fed mission yesterday that had a delivery point 75kls from system entry... Heading to Blaauw I hit 300c max speed. On the Fed run, I was at almost 250c by the time I was 42kls from the drop point. _That_ run I hit a max speed of 419c. I had to make five runs, but the rep I made doing it got me through almost two full ranks in the Fed navy.
The other possibility is that the Navicomp drank 4 tons of Lavian Brandy. Which would explain the slightly...erratic performance.
If you search in the galaxy map for a name like "Lave" it will show you the system first, if you search again it will show planets, stations or outposts with "Lave" in its name.
Ok- DON'T Airplane land!! You are trying to glide into a landing- Don't!
Don't go down until you're right over the pad....
(thats what she said)
Burning off expensive brandy is not the usual way to give the angels their share.
"You are hereby notified that the Pilots Federation has determined that you are to unskilled to be allowed to dock at any station without the aid of a docking assist computer. Should you violate this ruling we will suspend your captains license forthwith. Have a nice day!"
Ah a jingles landing never gets old.
Jingles, on the search bar in the galaxy map. The thing that you type in the search bar will cycle through all systems related to what you typed in.
When your ship overheated the cargo bay will have malfunctioned, when that happens it randomly ejects a unit of cargo from your bay. This will happen several times until you cooldown the ship
Perfectly executed Jingles landing. 👍
thanks for suffering the game fecking with you for our entertainment jingles ,got a good laugh there , thankyou sir o7
This video series just goes to show that Jingles is struggling at thinking and breathing at the same time.
I deeply appreciate literary references.
When you swap a cargo pod for a docking computer and leave it full of brandy lol
Oh, Jingles. The R and F buttons are your friends. Don’t neglect your friends.
Jingles personally drank the 4 tons of missing brandy. Understandably at that amount he blacked out and had no memory of the event.
Another possible explanation for the missing brandy came to mind.
I'm not sure if he got the brandy first and then went to space jail or if it was the other way around. I'm choosing not to go back and check and just believe some dirty rozzers decided to punish you a bit more by confiscating a couple of extremely rare and valuable brandy from the cargo bay!
Jingles, in the grim darkness of the far future, tries to land his expensive spacecraft like a 1940s prop plane and then wonders why he's fucking it up.
land it like a VTOL, my dude