Professors, What's the MOST INSANE paper that you had to Grade? - Reddit Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 16 дек 2023
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My friend taught English at university level in Japan.
The assignment at the time was just ten sentences about any country (not Japan) in English.
One student handed her assignment in, and was immediately handed it back.
It was in German. She hadn't even bothered to check what language she'd Google Translated it into.
A classmate turned in a paper using 12 quotes from The Crucible. All of them were, "A fart on you Thomas Putnam."
I mean, it's valid, Putnam was kind of an ass
That last one could have been students trying to "prove" teacher bias or that the teacher doesn't actually read the papers.
I've used a similar method to prove that a professor wasn't grading fairly in a college course. A group of us noticed that the professor would brush certain students' concerns off when they voiced them while practically giving extra lectures for others. I took copies of the most recently graded papers from those that were given failing grades and convinced a few students from a different professor's class to request her assistance in reviewing their papers. She gave every single one an overwhelmingly positive review in writing directly on each paper without realizing she had "read" them just the week before. We turned it all in to her boss so he could review it. That professor got in some serious trouble.
18:04 Story 24 had me baffled. That was "The Room" of college essays. How this guy got so far in his education with such atrocious writing skills is beyond me. Bad grammar, run-on sentences, constantly changing the subject and switching from past tense to present tense and back, it's all here in all its glory.
A philosophy student was sitting his final exam. There was one question, and ONLY one: What is courage?
The student writes: "This."
That is brilliant.
@@mileslima8114 no, its courage /j
I taught 7th grade science for a year, and at once point, I had them write a 1 page lab report paper based on an experiment we did as a class. One of the students turned in her lab report, and it was 2 paragraphs, and the whole thing was written like a text message. It was filled with abbreviations such as OMG & LMFAO, and the word "like" was used roughly every 4th word. After talking to her English teacher, I learned that she was failing English, and after talking to the student, I learned that she legitimately thought that this was how you were supposed to write.
Either she lived in Beverly Hills or hung around valley girls too much.
I can actually contribute to this topic.
I’m not a teacher (could be, but eh), but I had to peer review papers in my community college. My favorite was this one dude I’ll call Carl. This poor dude was unable to follow the instructions, and always was super proud of his work. I felt bad being the harsh voice of reason, but he needed honest feedback.
We were assigned a paper on a foreign cultural tradition. I picked Finnish Christmas, and Carl wrote a paper about Slovakian NBA players. It wasn’t even about Slovakia, it was about Luka Donovic and his journey in the NBA, along with some of his countrymen. I had no clue how to explain what he did wrong, because the subject was wrong, the grammar was akin to a text message, and he used APA instead of the required MLA. The best part was the thesis statement. It reads “In summary, Luka Donovic & his friends r incredible b-ball players, and I support their inspiring journeys to America.” I had to email the teacher, and she told me that I could leave that project alone and that I’d get a free grade because there was no way Carl would pass without teacher intervention.
The next paper, I got Carl again, I guess to see if I could critique him for an on-topic paper. The topic was “Olympic Sportmanship”, and Carl wrote about, I crap you not, the WWE. He crafted a 27 page fandom paper of “The Entire History of the WWE, from Hulk Hogan to John Cena”. I was legitimately impressed by how he could have so much to talk about, but that was sadly the only good part. I decided to just give him the feedback, and I gave him an exact list of the issues and how to rectify them. I also suggested he research Judo, since it was as similar to WWE as I could imagine in the Olympics. He ended up failing the class anyway, but that paper on Judo got a 78. Poor Carl.
Poor Carl
That was genuinely a pretty good impression of Donald Eisenreagan
I find it funny that someone would submit a SAO fanfic for peer review, but they draw the line at fursonas.
Yeah, LOL. SAO is WAY more cringe... Just thank Arceus that they didn't write about Genshin impact.😩
With language women have a larger vocabulary and use roughly twice as many words a day as men. Further women communicate in words, man picture situations. So language favours men how???
Also, language wasn't invented or developed by men. That's a weird ass premise in the video
"Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing." Great quote...from the 1994 movie!!!😂
I still remember my sister's school doing an open house with the 5th-8th graders having essays lining the halls. They had one where the kids wrote about all the wonderful contributions Hitler made to Germany to make it the modern day country it now is. I later learned that the school does not even allow the topic of the Holocaust to be discussed until high school. What they learn about Hitler is the building project and social/economic reforms that he did. I choose to believe that this kid is part of the first generation Indian immigrants that make up like 20% of the school's population.
That is a huge yikes and severe coddling, imo
I had a teacher in 6th grade, surname Moen. (I don't like calling out names but it's actually important here. I'll keep them genderless to keep some anonymity.) They had a demeanor that was very prim and proper. They weren't always unpleasant, but they didn't smile much and they presented themselves like they were stuck in a permanent 'annoyed eye-roll' moment which never went well in their interactions with the kids. Their reputation was not generally likable. Also important to note, this teacher was fairly old with extremely pale skin and white hair.
Fast forward two years to 8th grade theater class, I had a teacher who gave an assignment to write a creative short story. I have no idea why I thought this was a good idea, but I decided to write my story about a group of kids who got locked in the school at night, and came across a ghost which they referred to as the Moenster who was haunting the school.
What I didn't know? That teacher and my former teacher were actually friends outside of the school. I never got that paper back, nor do I think those papers made it on to the grade reports. Oh, and the Moenster coincidentally filled in as the substitute teacher the week after the assignments were due. No one said a word to me, but their piercing and frowning gaze that class did enough damage to my soul that I learned my lesson. The story did have a bit of effort put into it, and I think it was more creative than mean, but I do sincerely feel bad and apologize that my teacher was offended.
I once peer reviewed a paper that had these memorable opening lines: "Masculinity is defined by the dictionary as 'that which is masculine.' Femineity is defined by the dictionary as 'that which is feminine.'
The rest of the paper wasn't much better. This was a college English class. Also, yes, they wrote 'femineity' instead of 'femininity.' I looked it up. It is a word, but it's archaic.
LOL...the first Olympic Game wasn't in 1896, it was 776 BC. Now if we are talking about the first MODERN Olympics...then 1896. But then I can see someone now thinking that there were cars and texting in 776BC.
The Benz Patented Motorwagen which was the first car was a decade old by 1896.
Actually the most common multiple choice answer IS "C". So if you have no idea the best guess is "C"
Teacher: so students the correct answers to the multiple choice were
A, D, B, D
Student who didn't study: 💀
For my high school AP English class we were supposed to read books and write book reports. Once I did one from memory. The last one, due to the format of the report, I made up a book. Plot, characters, themes, everything. I think I did okay.
Here's a slightly different perspective on this theme:
In high school, we had a social studies teacher who was clearly give minutes from inglorious retirement. He was clearly phoning it in, giving as little effort to teaching and, notably, grading as humanly possible. My classes and I would compare papers and agree this one was great, this one was, I'm, not so great, but the grades never field l correlated, not was anyone's grade below a B.
My friend Cary decided to test his theory that the grades were predetermined. He wrote a paper on the efficiency of Japanese workers, in which the first paragraph was legitimate, if banal, but the rest rapidly degenerated into a creative extrapolation, including such gems as a fictitious Japanese affliction called "itchi itchi itchi" and it's such as "Sometimes I think black is white. Sometimes I think the floor is the ceiling. I think these things when I smoke the evil weed.". Once he got to the end of pare two, he started page three with the final sentence "These are done if the reasons why Japanese workers are better then American workers."
He got a B+. No notes, no corrections.
I was the one who wrote one of the papers that did not get mentioned.
Long story short I wrote a paper in an hour and a half that got my teacher to say to the entire class that I was on a completely different level than everyone else to a degree that I even outclassed my teacher.
For one of my teachers, it may be a _Pikmin 2_ fanfiction that I wrote.
How the first dude thought ww2 went:
"President the germans bombed Pearl Harbor, what should we do?"
"Disintegrate Tokyo"
Story One:
Bluto: Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
My instant thought too.
My mom is a high school math teacher. Starting a few years ago she began getting students that all had the correct answers, but no work shown. They were all using an app that photographs the equation and spits out the answer with a few of the steps shown(you could pay for all the steps). The problem is that the app would use processes that they had yet to be taught.
had a classmate in 1st grade who used the eraser so many times on one spot he went through the paper during a written test, he had to repeat 1st grade and only passed later grades out of pitty and his mother being annoying to the teachers
The Shakespearean style of using words that sort of sound like the right ones in #15 …. I’m dying laughing
14:23 In Culinary School, the chef professor told us that hotdogs are indeed sandwiches haha
“Perhap” Paul is so real for that
It’s mostly speculation, but I feel like my freshmen year English teacher may have a few stories. An early assignment was an essay about conspiracy theories. Each person picks a theory and they explain it, what it says and the holes it in. Before we started, she specified you can’t be arguing for the theory.
I would write about my Fursona in collage. Think it's weird? FIGHT ME.
Story #21 - Sudoku is a common meme substitution for the real word
And it was hilarious the first time. Alas that it has tired quickly.
I was grading essays in an English test prep class. Students were practicing to write an essay for an US American English exam (which would of course be graded by natives).
The question was "Why do you think some students choose to study abroad?"
Her answer was basically that people go abroad to learn about Japan. For example, America has only French fries which is not delicious, so people learn that Japanese food is better.
Also outside Japan is dirty and we will learn that Japan is the best and clean.
Something to that effect.
You know natives will read your essay right?
I've also seen similar responses to questions on other tests like "what do you think Japan can do to strengthen relationships with other Asian countries?"
And many of the answers not realising that Japan is also in Asia.
No way that girl was Canadian. A Canadian would just hit you with a hockey stick and steal your shoes.
Not a professor but I couldn't believe this one. Was in a biology class in college and there was one kid who never seemed capable of getting anything in on time or anything The end of the year assigment was going to be an essay and presentation. I wound up doing mine on the after effects of Tommy John surgery on baseball players and how frequently the rehabilitation results in them coming back with more power and in crease speed. I focusd on former Red Sox reliever Manny Delcarmen. After I finished I went to sit down and my professor called on him to come up and do his presentation. Now everyone else had to hand out paperwork for the presentation and let the professor know what the assignment was. He never did! Forget bring the materials for everyone else because he failed to bring his textbook for himself and even the paperwork for himself. Now at this point my elderly grandma is ina nurshinghome and he announces he's doing a paper on people in nursinghomes. His argument? That people who wind up in nursinghomes have given up onlife and are responsible for their own fate. I sat there fuming but was reminding myself that there would be a question and answer at the end and I could get him then. The professor was fuming too. She aske him for his presentation and he says,"It's up here."and points at his head. She then aske if there were any questions. My classmates knew I was mad and they let me have him. "Are you sure you pointed to the right body part?" I asked. "I would contend that,that didn't come out of your head and you should probably point at your butt!" I questioned the logic of someone not in control of their mental faculties coul be in control of their own fate? I aske him to cite his sources. He couldn't answer any of the questions. Unfortunately,for him after that savaging him the teacher told him,"You've got an F. Go sit down!"
Recently I was checking a Writing where s's were supposed to write what they're good for. This was to give them the opportunity to express about their hobbies, interests, passion and creativity... And for me to know a little bit more about them h This teenager described hw good he is at sleeping in not less than 500 words and hw greatful should be everyone around him because of his amazing talent of sleeping anywhere, any kind of hours without interruption. He also tries to practice a lot taking naps and prints😅 all his effort trying to sleep all day long; even at class; bus, friend's houses; parks, restaurants... He says he is so commited that he doesnt have a relationship with a girl; or study for an exam, not even say take time for doing homework or any housechore; Of course he takes a shower the least he can and economize time eating in bed... Ok;, by far the most useless; unreflective and stupid essay ever... The thing is I Could realize he is as lazzy as he claims to be 😢
I learned from this why the professors who do vids on literature always read a definition from the dictionary.
22:03 basketball is life
You found a loophole in the algorithm: using words that are not allowed, but adding something to them and asking viewers to remove that.
I was in an English class where we had to peer-review each other’s papers. My partner complained, “You follow me rubric too closely.”
I got an A+ (700/700) in my class. He got a B-.
Story 3: He should have gone for Argentina.
Or El Salvador which started a war over a football match.
i did something like the "im sorry, mrs lancer" one in middle school. it was an in class essay, i formatted it, wrote a very basic topic sentence introducing whatever it was i was supposed to write about, then after a 50 minute period og staring blankly at the page just wrote something along the lines of "im sorry ms so-and-so im having really bad executive dysfunction today is there any chance i can get a redo some other time." teacher was chill with it and let me come in the next day at lunch when my cogs were actually turning. also did something like the hotdog paper in high school, we were supposed to make a presentation on any current event as an ap english project. everyone else did theirs on some violent protest going on at the time. i, however, was on my period and quite hormonal and didnt want to read about sad things. so what was mine on? well only the most important thing happening that week, fat bear week brackets!! it was the teachers favorite even though i was very obviously talking super slow to meet the time requirement
as a kid that was bullied in middle school peer reviews were the worst, i had mean comments wrote on a paper and they were not nice. one of them said my mom wrote my paper just because she helped me proof read for grammer and spelling.
Oooooh, this sounds like me, thinking I was such a hotshot writer, enrolling in college after 20 years to finish my degree. My first paper was gibberish. Spelled right and typed out clearly, but that's all you could say about it.
Story 24 was crazy 💀💀
All of these remind me of the time I had to peer-review papers a few years ago and a few of them were full of typos because the people typed them on their phones.
When I was in elementary school we got a writing assignment to make up a new fairy tale or fable. I don't remember why I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to do it. So I actually took the time to find what I thought would be the most obscure fable I could find and just copied it. I picked one that was simple and that I had never heard before, so I was convinced that since I had never heard it, no one had.
It was the Fox and the Sour Grapes fable. Copied to the letter and turned in as being something I originally came up with.
I don't remember the grade I got on it, but I don't think my cheating was caught because I vividly remember the time I was caught cheating on a spelling test and not this.
Now that I am older and know that the Fox and the Sour Grapes is a very well known fable, I have no idea how I got away with it.
That ww2 paper is exactly what the American government would do now.
Surely you mean the previous government, with 45.
@@KaiHenningsensurely you're old enough to understand, the government is made of more than just the president.
However the war powers act put it within the power of the president as it less than 60 days
@@KaiHenningsen No, 46 is much more likely to do something like that than 45 would have been.
@@critica77y77 as much as I fucking hate 45 I agree
#9 seems like the joke flew over your head
The muted group theory sounds interesting, though I think it's merit goes mostly as far as that you cannot really explain qualia in words. I can say for example that I find teal pleasing to my eyes and a generally nice color, that I like cheese flavoured cheetos, and that eating things containing substantive amounts of tomatoes like ketchup makes me feel sick, but I can't really explain those feelings. I cannot explain the prettyness of teal to someone that has never experienced it, and while I'm certain that if the world was more of a matriarchy or equal for both sexes and all gender for who's in power, that I think it would certainly be different, and maybe some women specific experiences could be better explained in words, I doubt it would be much better than languages we have now, At least for communication between sexes. It's hard to fully connect the feeling of having a period to any male experiences, as it is for example for women to fully connect the feeling of getting kicked in the nuts to any female experiences.
2:43 bro should have gotten a c+ at leasr
My braincells are currently disintegrating because of story 24.
Everyone knows that mario is cool as fuck
Story #24 - ...Did I have a stroke?
No. Unfortunately, you heard it right.
The answer is always hydrogen.
By far the best one lol
The girl with the first olympics games essay must have failed it because the games happened in 776 bc and the Athletes would have all been male because women were not allowed to leave the house unless it is with their husband or another man of their household!
I somehow never read any other students papers until my senior year of high school. It was scary how some kids papers were completely incomprehensible. Rambling nonsense.
18:05
im sure someone said this but just in case saduku (i dont remember how to spell it and am going off of the captions) is a type of traditional japanese self unaliving
The correct spelling is Seppuku
Goo make smart happy
Where art thou u/spez.... Not logged in for over six months and refued my API question.
what was the kid on the first story thinking
Hilarious, but painful.
Sound like he used Google translate
How is your commit 5 days old yet this was made 31 minutes ago
it was likely posted in a queue a couple days in advance
Hydrogen gang
7:46 my mom majored in Linguistics and has a glorious vocabulary. You’ll be learning new words every day with her. That theory is complete and utter bullsh!t.
Hi
women cant understand
:even is wrong
:bros before hoes
:2 at max or your playing with it
Here for the early gang 👇
Hi
Reddit sucks. The fact u can down vote responses and get rid of them makes it a joke. It’s just what people want to hear, nothing about it is truth.
That does not make sense, no one gender had created language. Everyone just understood how to talk slowly by their environment and need for communication
For anyone who doesn't know suudoku Is a Japanese word for unuliving pls don't take my comment down I'm just a 🤓 nerd
Sudoku means something like "number-single". It has nothing to do with actual suicide.