I've just recently self diagnosed my husband. He checks off more than several narcissist traits. I am heartbroken and yet finding this out has brought me understanding and clarity. Some people have said that a narcissist can never change..... but I am reminded of God's word that says "Nothing is impossible with God" however it takes admitting and facing their journey head-on. The blame shifting, the silent treatment for days, his blatant neglect of our marriage, never once apologizing for the many wrongs he has done. I am exhausted and yet I am facing this abuse with the Lord's help. Very strategically God is setting people in place for me to talk to and learn. I don't want to divorce my husband of nearly 11 years but I can't go on living like this any longer either. I appreciate Dr. Cloud so much and all the amazing things he brings to the table. I just want to feel safe to be my authentic self in my own home. Blessings 🌿
All it took for my husband to be done with me was to ask him for changes that would make our marriage mutually satisfying. He didn't even ask what kind of changes. His way was the only way. We were together 15 years, and the divorce took another 2 years with me fighting it the whole way. I didn't want the divorce, and he sure didn't want to change. So he released me.
I've been there, and God gently guided me towards divorce. The patterns of behavior only got worse and devolved into verbal abuse, affairs, emotional abuse, pathological lying and more. It was destroying me, and our kids. Divorce was the only option, and my kids are doing a lot better now that they have at least one household that is healthy and safe.
1. Those with clinically diagnosable Narcissist Personality Disorder make up about 1-5% of the total population. 2. The reason you must have years of study and proven research to be able to diagnose people is because it is not as simple as reading some stuff other people wrote online. 3. Doctors had to undergo critical peer review to become experts. How have you analyzed YOUR behavior and had it constructively criticized by those around you that you trust? Take the log out of your own eye. Then you will be able to see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Jesus said that, not me. 4. Your husband most likely does not have NPD. He IS a sinner, though. Just like you are. No. Listen. He is a sinner EXACTLY like you are. You are not better than him. Why do you think you are better than him?
My second husband (my first husband died) told me what I could and could not say, what words I had to use when talking with him, etc. I could not be myself in any way. Who I was was not welcome. I was not acceptable unless I was doing, saying, thinking, or feeling what he wanted me to. I wasn’t safe either. I went to counseling, but he wouldn’t go. I am now divorced. It took time to heal from that and other abuse, but I am happy.
Ms freedom 62. I have read what you wrote. And have just escaped a 30 yr long marriage that I'd what you have described. I am finally free . Haven't heard of any who change. Read the book healing from hidden abuse also married and alone. Best is we go sooner than later. Took me 30 years and leaving many times. It's the loneliest most horrible existence living with demons. Spirit of confusion, pride, and whatever other demons are behind the narcissistic personalities. I hope you run. God will have your back finally I know our Father does NOT desire us to be abused. Also watch Leslie vernicks videos. DR cloud is amazing. And thank you for sharing.
I love following you Dr. Cloud. Your information is sound.
I've just recently self diagnosed my husband. He checks off more than several narcissist traits. I am heartbroken and yet finding this out has brought me understanding and clarity. Some people have said that a narcissist can never change..... but I am reminded of God's word that says "Nothing is impossible with God" however it takes admitting and facing their journey head-on. The blame shifting, the silent treatment for days, his blatant neglect of our marriage, never once apologizing for the many wrongs he has done. I am exhausted and yet I am facing this abuse with the Lord's help. Very strategically God is setting people in place for me to talk to and learn. I don't want to divorce my husband of nearly 11 years but I can't go on living like this any longer either. I appreciate Dr. Cloud so much and all the amazing things he brings to the table. I just want to feel safe to be my authentic self in my own home. Blessings 🌿
All it took for my husband to be done with me was to ask him for changes that would make our marriage mutually satisfying. He didn't even ask what kind of changes. His way was the only way. We were together 15 years, and the divorce took another 2 years with me fighting it the whole way. I didn't want the divorce, and he sure didn't want to change. So he released me.
some people are so broken they cannot and will not change- rest in your God given wisdom for your choices
Also look into Dismissive Avoidant attachment style. Some traits overlap. Personal Development School channel has resources on this.
I've been there, and God gently guided me towards divorce. The patterns of behavior only got worse and devolved into verbal abuse, affairs, emotional abuse, pathological lying and more. It was destroying me, and our kids. Divorce was the only option, and my kids are doing a lot better now that they have at least one household that is healthy and safe.
1. Those with clinically diagnosable Narcissist Personality Disorder make up about 1-5% of the total population.
2. The reason you must have years of study and proven research to be able to diagnose people is because it is not as simple as reading some stuff other people wrote online.
3. Doctors had to undergo critical peer review to become experts. How have you analyzed YOUR behavior and had it constructively criticized by those around you that you trust? Take the log out of your own eye. Then you will be able to see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Jesus said that, not me.
4. Your husband most likely does not have NPD. He IS a sinner, though. Just like you are. No. Listen.
He is a sinner EXACTLY like you are. You are not better than him. Why do you think you are better than him?
My second husband (my first husband died) told me what I could and could not say, what words I had to use when talking with him, etc. I could not be myself in any way. Who I was was not welcome. I was not acceptable unless I was doing, saying, thinking, or feeling what he wanted me to. I wasn’t safe either. I went to counseling, but he wouldn’t go. I am now divorced. It took time to heal from that and other abuse, but I am happy.
Dr. Cloud, I'm really enjoying your Becoming an Adult book. Thank you, for writing it.
Thank you for these videos 🤗
Ms freedom 62. I have read what you wrote. And have just escaped a 30 yr long marriage that I'd what you have described. I am finally free . Haven't heard of any who change. Read the book healing from hidden abuse also married and alone. Best is we go sooner than later. Took me 30 years and leaving many times. It's the loneliest most horrible existence living with demons. Spirit of confusion, pride, and whatever other demons are behind the narcissistic personalities.
I hope you run. God will have your back finally I know our Father does NOT desire us to be abused. Also watch Leslie vernicks videos. DR cloud is amazing. And thank you for sharing.
Thank You Dr. Cloud. Love your work. I shared this video with my 3 sons.
This is what I've been longing for. I've never known this kind of safety.
Married 47 years and have experienced very little of what you've talked about.
Love your books 🙏🏻 - quick question: how do we respond to someone giving us the "silence treatment" when they are living far away?
How does one start to rebuild when this has been broken down
prayer - maybe... it depends.
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