This was fantastic. Particularly the part about women developing masculine traits without loyalty, team work and accountability being selfish. Feminism creating two 'men' in the home has not doubled protection or doubled provision. It's tripled divorce and damaged children. If she makes $1 dollar more suddenly she's the boss! Single women don't appear to want to share their resources. Feminism has taught us nothing about the feminine.
There's no such thing as "feminism", it is an empty word used to protect women from accountability for their own choices and actions, akin to saying the devil made her do it.
If you're in charge, the buck stops with you. You can't just shrug and walk away from your responsibilities. It's deadly serious stuff, and it absolutely requires a certain personality.
@@sidcomegys4154He's describing an attitude of responsibility. He is not describing a lawof the universe that every man must obey. When you make category errors so badly that other people have to explain rudimentary concepts to you, then your level of comprehension is absolutely zero. Instead of seeking knowledge, you present your own ignorance as a challenge to other people's ideas? That is the height of arrogance, and the depth of stupidity.
So refreshing to hear these truths coming from a woman. I've said these things and had them resisted from women who seem to be offended by it. particularly if i say that honor and accountability are masculine traits. also, i wanted to affirm what you said about a man saying no, and sort of carry that into this idea of submission. i know, the word women cringe at. men need their women to trust them and follow direction not because we're power hungry and get off on controlling someone.. it's about protecting and providing containment and safety. yes, a fence is restricting.. but it's also keeping the wolves out.
12:58 Essentially I'm playing a game of chess in my head against the idea. I'm simulating all the scenarios. “There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs” is a quote by economist Thomas Sowell.
The hardest part of telling anyone else the "plan" is the failure if you tell them and it takes longer or fails. Once you speak it out loud the expectation and pressure to complete is there in a massive way. We don't want to lose face with those we love by failing in front of them. Its fear based and hedging our bets. If you don't tell and it doesn't happen then they can pretend they didn't fail outwardly. But internally we know we failed and then it becomes a source of shame to admit, self doubt, and division because the women in our lives don't know what is off but know something is off. Not saying it's right, but I think it's the reason why more often than not why we keep secrets.
This was a refreshing, intelligent look at some key characteristics that define each gender. As a husband, I emphasize making my wife feel heard and valuing her input. She in turn appreciates my guidance and leadership.
Great video. I was raised by a feminist mother in a feminist society so I find no delight in biblical/traditional ideas about women's obedience, but the picture you've painted here makes it clear why that is important from an entirely practical perspective. Decisions made without accountability, honor, loyalty, without regard to consequences or even to safety are dangerous and must be checked by veto. A good woman will therefore recognize the need to obey the veto from her husband, father, or brother. It is futile and frankly ignorant to insist women discover accountability and honor and employ them even in a crisis. You're right, that simply will not work. They can however employ obedience.
We keep the plan to ourselves, when we feel the women cannot be counted on to be supportive, or when the level of respect indicates "mutiny" can be expected at the first sign of trouble. In those cases it is not safe to reveal the plan until success is all but guaranteed.
Agree. Plus there's the implicite langage between man. When a man says "I got it", meaning I have a plan for that, usually the other don't asks about it. Can be taken as a form of disrespect to ask the guy what his plan is. But woman don't read that trait
@traductionscultureen-arver2307 Yes, when the woman starts poking questions about minor details, it signals that she has no confidence in her man's competence. Nowadays, a woman needs to earn a man's trust, because most modern women are not worthy of it by default. Also, a man has to take into account the ease and frequency of how women bail out/divorce.
Or the woman will belittle the plan, with little to no understanding or care for the time and energy that has gone into it, and with no understanding of the consequences.
We don’t tell her our plan because of the backlash from her if our plan falls through. We don’t need praise from someone else for succeeding. It’s better to just praise ourselves. A woman can’t do that. She needs praise from an external source.
I could engage in your topics for hours, love your vision and how you see things. 22:58 Sometimes the “no” is about limits. It isn’t necessarily about black/white or yes/no angles, but of spectrum/direction/unity or maybe a singular word would be balance. The growth and expansion ability of the female indeed will “feel” constrained especially in our times, but the proper perspective is restrained. The heart of the male wants to say yes but to ensure progress a boundary/limit must be established. However if we communicated “not yet” the youthful heart of the female would keep asking “are we there yet” (so to speak) adding pressure in a place where pressure isn’t helpful and possibly detrimental. A good man takes note of his “no’s” and will try to convert them to yes’s. It’s not always possible or sometimes we forget. And this is where trust from the female and her gentleness to remind or ask again after a given time brings harmony to the unity the man desires with her. Anya thank you for your voice and message. And for sharing your culture and experience, it is so important and appreciated! Always excited to hear from you. С Новым годом
Feminism teaches women to be more like men and less like a real woman husbands need. What is fascinating is how all of society demands and forces men to fulfill their protective and provision role but won’t dare expect or even shame women to fulfill her role to husbands and society. Even the church is like this that you can’t tell a woman no . Anyways good video to see the good in men
That's my experience ! I went right through my twenties without any interest from women. I thought that a relationship would just develop in the same way as making friends with anyone else, but this never worked out. I never developed those 'traditional' male traits of such things as leadership, dominance, strength etc. and viewed that being with a woman should be an equal partnership. I think this is what putting many 'sensitive' men off women today. I did eventually change how i behaved and thought, but it took some effort and practice. ( and yes, it does feel like i'm with an 'adolescent', but it's something that you just have to get used to !)
Honor is saying what you mean and meaning what you say; your word is your bond. This is equivalent to verbally agreeing to something and shaking hands; no contract needs to be signed. Honor is not taken lightly by men, so when women show no honor, or lack of it, it’s not attractive.
Which is why they couldn't lead, not because men wouldn't allow it but because they lack the basic characteristics of honor and responsibility, accountability. When a weak person gains power, the only obvious outcome is that they will abuse said power for personal gain since they were not shown how to use that power properly for the good of everyone. Everyone suffers in the end when leadership is selfish.
We need this discussion about masculine and feminine, because the culture is so confused about gender, that everything is described as a power struggle between men and women. The very notion of complementary relationships is dismissed as "patriarchy" subjecting women. We end up with combative relationships, something I know a lot about.
Describe any place at any time in human history that featured this "complementary relationship" you speak of. And no, men doing all of the hard and dangerous work while women then do what's left is not complementary, because men could do that too if need be.
@@palaceofwisdom9448 You can't see the value of femininity complimenting masculinity? Maybe the entitled attitude that some modern women have, clouded true femininity. Women have balanced male energy, which is creative, but erratic, turning on a cycle of creation, destruction and recreation. Women are the preservers and balancers, so masculine energy doesn't get out of whack.. In a sane society, this dynamic would be apparent, but we don't live in sane times.
@@palaceofwisdom9448 I know that many women have an entitled attitude these days, but if you can dismiss the contributions of have the human race throughout history, you have a big resentment problem that I don't feel like addressing. This reminds me of radfems, and how they spew nothing but resentment.
My fiancee passed years ago. When I was ready to date again, everything was different! (Social media became popular by then) Now I understand what happened, but at this point not sure I care.
@anyashakh The men on your channel need a video on the definitions of "seen" and "heard" and how they are alike and different. These terms are not clear to us.
@@anyashakh Awesome! I asked my wife, and while she knew what these terms mean innately, she had to ask a friend to explain it to me. Let's say I think you might do a better job than her. 😁
@@chrisallmond6867that’s because women are communal. To be heard with men we generally build a basis of merit and trust. A hierarchy if you will. What you say must be relevant to the task. Men are generally heard and had their words weighed as measured when they’re children, then they are set off to face the world and build from there.
@@anyashakh If girls want to be seen and heard, learn to communicate. Clarity, concision, honesty, directness. Endless vague rambling is NOT. Bystander rescues are ending.
One caveat- female accountability has been loss because it was a physical reality. Once birth control, abortion, and the nanny state arrived it took away the natural consequences. It could be surmised that they never developed “honor” because their physical condition made dishonorable acts more costly. While they adhere to tradition they were more protected but if they stepped out, less so. For example, a woman could be raped if “she had no honor to take”. Any dependents were her responsibility alone. Family would often disown them. The proverbial scarlet letter would be attached to her. Add to this less mobility and everyone knowing their neighbors and yep just a bad idea indeed. Now of course with the discarding of life, shame, and increased mobility coupled with increased social safety nets and we have zero accountability with its accompanied problems.
This is a good video. It pisses me off that after spending 16 years teaching my ex these things she still chose to throw it away as soon as I required some effort from her. Absolutely no sense of duty or honor.
It is a mindset. It is about integrity, being faithful to yourself and your values. These values tend to look very similar between men, depending upon upbringing and environment. Feminism could not destroy that - they needed the male gender role to finance and maintain their BS 'experiment'!
Interesting question given our broader culture/society seems to have mostly abandoned the concept. I'd personally define my sense of honor as a duty to provide justice within and for my family, while borrowing Socrates definition of justice as "the excellence of the soul". Creating the conditions for those I love to act on what is best for their soul (not their heart or mind, which is the challenge of applying discipline).
I love that you mentioned Rob Roy. This is one of my favorite films that people seemed to have forgotten about. In the film Rob says, "Honor is a gift a man gives himself." This resonates with me. I studied philosophy in college, and I was always very taken with Stoicism. I read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations once a year to remind myself what a man could and, I think, should be.
What it always meant: consistency, loyalty, keeping promises. Boys learn that you cannot function anywhere without it. Girls learn that they are allowed to follow their feelings at all times.
I'd argue that if you prioritize your woman feeling heard and considered, many other aspects of life that are heavy currently will get lighter. It's an incredibly important place to put your energy. When she feels heard and considered, it makes her more connected to you which makes her want to support you more!
I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how women have been sold that success (education, career, $, etc.) = worth. When throughout history its always been youth, purity, innocence, etc. Tell a man how much you make and a tepid "ok" is the best you are likely to recieve. So how has this modern version been sold?
The are not sold on success, they are sold on agency. They see the agency men exercise in the masculine role, and come to view the agency women exercise in a traditional feminine role (running a household and co-creating a family) as antiquated, limiting, even demeaning by comparison. As a man, I can sympathize. What's missing though, is the subject of this video: that as a man your honor comes from your loyalty, the solemn vows you keep, and the willingness to sacrifice yourself. But for women such honor is irrelevant; their loyalty depends on the level of emotional and practical benefits the relationship provides. This is why men more often tough it out in sexless relationships (which they would never consciously choose to enter), whereas women start heading for the exits when they perceive no potential future benefit in sticking around.
Masculine traits are not taught because they have been cast as toxic behaviors to be suppressed thanks to 60 years of feminism. Men are being portrayed as defective women. That said, blanket “no” without consideration is not good leadership either. As you point out, communication and consideration are the best path where men respect womens intuition and women respect mens role of responsibility.
I make videos about topics that I am passionate about with the overarching purpose of building a bridge between men and women. Plenty of men learn things here about women that helps them and/or they learn how to communicate things to the women in their lives in ways they might not have thought of before. I'd love more women here, if you'd like you can help me with that and share this with some women in your life 🙂
@anyashakh I wish you had a female audience as well. I can't recommend you to the women in my life because fortunately in my country there's not the generalized contempt towards men from women that exists in the USA.
I don't think it's possible to revive the concept of honor while still outsourcing protection to policemen, otherwise you're just cosplaying at having authority
This was fantastic. Particularly the part about women developing masculine traits without loyalty, team work and accountability being selfish. Feminism creating two 'men' in the home has not doubled protection or doubled provision. It's tripled divorce and damaged children. If she makes $1 dollar more suddenly she's the boss! Single women don't appear to want to share their resources. Feminism has taught us nothing about the feminine.
There's no such thing as "feminism", it is an empty word used to protect women from accountability for their own choices and actions, akin to saying the devil made her do it.
If you're in charge, the buck stops with you. You can't just shrug and walk away from your responsibilities. It's deadly serious stuff, and it absolutely requires a certain personality.
If that is true, how did the social elite come into being?
@@sidcomegys4154He's describing an attitude of responsibility. He is not describing a lawof the universe that every man must obey.
When you make category errors so badly that other people have to explain rudimentary concepts to you, then your level of comprehension is absolutely zero.
Instead of seeking knowledge, you present your own ignorance as a challenge to other people's ideas? That is the height of arrogance, and the depth of stupidity.
The elite do not honor this, and now our species is seriously in danger@@sidcomegys4154
So refreshing to hear these truths coming from a woman. I've said these things and had them resisted from women who seem to be offended by it. particularly if i say that honor and accountability are masculine traits. also, i wanted to affirm what you said about a man saying no, and sort of carry that into this idea of submission. i know, the word women cringe at. men need their women to trust them and follow direction not because we're power hungry and get off on controlling someone.. it's about protecting and providing containment and safety. yes, a fence is restricting.. but it's also keeping the wolves out.
12:58 Essentially I'm playing a game of chess in my head against the idea. I'm simulating all the scenarios.
“There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs” is a quote by economist Thomas Sowell.
The hardest part of telling anyone else the "plan" is the failure if you tell them and it takes longer or fails. Once you speak it out loud the expectation and pressure to complete is there in a massive way. We don't want to lose face with those we love by failing in front of them. Its fear based and hedging our bets. If you don't tell and it doesn't happen then they can pretend they didn't fail outwardly. But internally we know we failed and then it becomes a source of shame to admit, self doubt, and division because the women in our lives don't know what is off but know something is off. Not saying it's right, but I think it's the reason why more often than not why we keep secrets.
This was a refreshing, intelligent look at some key characteristics that define each gender. As a husband, I emphasize making my wife feel heard and valuing her input. She in turn appreciates my guidance and leadership.
Great video. I was raised by a feminist mother in a feminist society so I find no delight in biblical/traditional ideas about women's obedience, but the picture you've painted here makes it clear why that is important from an entirely practical perspective. Decisions made without accountability, honor, loyalty, without regard to consequences or even to safety are dangerous and must be checked by veto. A good woman will therefore recognize the need to obey the veto from her husband, father, or brother. It is futile and frankly ignorant to insist women discover accountability and honor and employ them even in a crisis. You're right, that simply will not work. They can however employ obedience.
We keep the plan to ourselves, when we feel the women cannot be counted on to be supportive, or when the level of respect indicates "mutiny" can be expected at the first sign of trouble. In those cases it is not safe to reveal the plan until success is all but guaranteed.
Agree. Plus there's the implicite langage between man. When a man says "I got it", meaning I have a plan for that, usually the other don't asks about it. Can be taken as a form of disrespect to ask the guy what his plan is. But woman don't read that trait
@traductionscultureen-arver2307 Yes, when the woman starts poking questions about minor details, it signals that she has no confidence in her man's competence. Nowadays, a woman needs to earn a man's trust, because most modern women are not worthy of it by default. Also, a man has to take into account the ease and frequency of how women bail out/divorce.
Or the woman will belittle the plan, with little to no understanding or care for the time and energy that has gone into it, and with no understanding of the consequences.
@@traductionscultureen-arver2307 fascinating than you for this extra context!
It’s not their business anyway
Excellent video. All of your stuff that I’ve seen has been really good
Amazing content! Good for both men and women.
A Feminist walks into a Ukrainian nightclub and asks the bartender….”where are all the men ?.”
We don’t tell her our plan because of the backlash from her if our plan falls through.
We don’t need praise from someone else for succeeding. It’s better to just praise ourselves.
A woman can’t do that. She needs praise from an external source.
I could engage in your topics for hours, love your vision and how you see things.
22:58 Sometimes the “no” is about limits. It isn’t necessarily about black/white or yes/no angles, but of spectrum/direction/unity or maybe a singular word would be balance.
The growth and expansion ability of the female indeed will “feel” constrained especially in our times, but the proper perspective is restrained.
The heart of the male wants to say yes but to ensure progress a boundary/limit must be established. However if we communicated “not yet” the youthful heart of the female would keep asking “are we there yet” (so to speak) adding pressure in a place where pressure isn’t helpful and possibly detrimental.
A good man takes note of his “no’s” and will try to convert them to yes’s. It’s not always possible or sometimes we forget. And this is where trust from the female and her gentleness to remind or ask again after a given time brings harmony to the unity the man desires with her.
Anya thank you for your voice and message. And for sharing your culture and experience, it is so important and appreciated!
Always excited to hear from you.
С Новым годом
This is a very very important point about men. I hope women take some time out and understand what is being said here.
I don’t think most women are waking up to what you’re saying, but it’s a nice thought from you as an individual.
Feminism teaches women to be more like men and less like a real woman husbands need. What is fascinating is how all of society demands and forces men to fulfill their protective and provision role but won’t dare expect or even shame women to fulfill her role to husbands and society. Even the church is like this that you can’t tell a woman no . Anyways good video to see the good in men
That's all accurate, but it's also like dealing with a child, or adolescent, which is very tiresome.
That's my experience ! I went right through my twenties without any interest from women. I thought that a relationship would just develop in the same way as making friends with anyone else, but this never worked out. I never developed those 'traditional' male traits of such things as leadership, dominance, strength etc. and viewed that being with a woman should be an equal partnership. I think this is what putting many 'sensitive' men off women today. I did eventually change how i behaved and thought, but it took some effort and practice. ( and yes, it does feel like i'm with an 'adolescent', but it's something that you just have to get used to !)
WOW this is grand message. you wove together many major themes gracefully.
It is so good to hear it is OK to be insticually manauline energy.
You seem to be able to understand and articulate about the male brain better than any woman I've ever heard.
With responsibility comes authority, rather it should but we've seemed to have forgotten that.
Along with risk coming with freedom. Part of the problem is we have too many women who want power and freedom without responsibility or risk.
I really enjoyed listening to you. Thanks.
Very insightful. Thank you.
Honor is saying what you mean and meaning what you say; your word is your bond. This is equivalent to verbally agreeing to something and shaking hands; no contract needs to be signed. Honor is not taken lightly by men, so when women show no honor, or lack of it, it’s not attractive.
This, coming from a woman, wow!! really insightful, and very well articulated(loved the reference to the classic soviet era movie😅)
Ирония Судьбы come out of nowhere quite unexpectedly on a video in English
I found this idea very helpful. 15:19
Which is why they couldn't lead, not because men wouldn't allow it but because they lack the basic characteristics of honor and responsibility, accountability. When a weak person gains power, the only obvious outcome is that they will abuse said power for personal gain since they were not shown how to use that power properly for the good of everyone. Everyone suffers in the end when leadership is selfish.
Very good! Thanks
We need this discussion about masculine and feminine, because the culture is so confused about gender, that everything is described as a power struggle between men and women. The very notion of complementary relationships is dismissed as "patriarchy" subjecting women. We end up with combative relationships, something I know a lot about.
Describe any place at any time in human history that featured this "complementary relationship" you speak of. And no, men doing all of the hard and dangerous work while women then do what's left is not complementary, because men could do that too if need be.
@@palaceofwisdom9448 You can't see the value of femininity complimenting masculinity? Maybe the entitled attitude that some modern women have, clouded true femininity. Women have balanced male energy, which is creative, but erratic, turning on a cycle of creation, destruction and recreation. Women are the preservers and balancers, so masculine energy doesn't get out of whack.. In a sane society, this dynamic would be apparent, but we don't live in sane times.
@@palaceofwisdom9448 I know that many women have an entitled attitude these days, but if you can dismiss the contributions of have the human race throughout history, you have a big resentment problem that I don't feel like addressing. This reminds me of radfems, and how they spew nothing but resentment.
My fiancee passed years ago.
When I was ready to date again, everything was different!
(Social media became popular by then)
Now I understand what happened, but at this point not sure I care.
Absolutely spot on Anya.
Yeah, my wife holds the sole power to say no in our marriage. And she's miserable but refuses to play fair.
I’d be surprised if you weren’t also miserable
I had that shit too but I eventually ended it
@anyashakh The men on your channel need a video on the definitions of "seen" and "heard" and how they are alike and different. These terms are not clear to us.
oh amazing question. I will absolutely make a video on this thank you.
@@anyashakh Awesome! I asked my wife, and while she knew what these terms mean innately, she had to ask a friend to explain it to me. Let's say I think you might do a better job than her. 😁
@@chrisallmond6867that’s because women are communal. To be heard with men we generally build a basis of merit and trust. A hierarchy if you will. What you say must be relevant to the task. Men are generally heard and had their words weighed as measured when they’re children, then they are set off to face the world and build from there.
@@anyashakh If girls want to be seen and heard, learn to communicate. Clarity, concision, honesty, directness.
Endless vague rambling is NOT.
Bystander rescues are ending.
One caveat- female accountability has been loss because it was a physical reality. Once birth control, abortion, and the nanny state arrived it took away the natural consequences. It could be surmised that they never developed “honor” because their physical condition made dishonorable acts more costly. While they adhere to tradition they were more protected but if they stepped out, less so. For example, a woman could be raped if “she had no honor to take”. Any dependents were her responsibility alone. Family would often disown them. The proverbial scarlet letter would be attached to her. Add to this less mobility and everyone knowing their neighbors and yep just a bad idea indeed. Now of course with the discarding of life, shame, and increased mobility coupled with increased social safety nets and we have zero accountability with its accompanied problems.
This is a good video. It pisses me off that after spending 16 years teaching my ex these things she still chose to throw it away as soon as I required some effort from her. Absolutely no sense of duty or honor.
I'm curious, what does honor mean to you in your words in this day and age?
It is a mindset. It is about integrity, being faithful to yourself and your values. These values tend to look very similar between men, depending upon upbringing and environment. Feminism could not destroy that - they needed the male gender role to finance and maintain their BS 'experiment'!
Interesting question given our broader culture/society seems to have mostly abandoned the concept. I'd personally define my sense of honor as a duty to provide justice within and for my family, while borrowing Socrates definition of justice as "the excellence of the soul". Creating the conditions for those I love to act on what is best for their soul (not their heart or mind, which is the challenge of applying discipline).
I love that you mentioned Rob Roy. This is one of my favorite films that people seemed to have forgotten about. In the film Rob says, "Honor is a gift a man gives himself." This resonates with me. I studied philosophy in college, and I was always very taken with Stoicism. I read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations once a year to remind myself what a man could and, I think, should be.
For me, as a man: To keep one's word, come hell or high water - unless an extremely extenuating factor happens, a man keeps his promisse.
What it always meant: consistency, loyalty, keeping promises. Boys learn that you cannot function anywhere without it. Girls learn that they are allowed to follow their feelings at all times.
I agree about the "heard and considered" part, but I just don't have the time.
I'd argue that if you prioritize your woman feeling heard and considered, many other aspects of life that are heavy currently will get lighter. It's an incredibly important place to put your energy. When she feels heard and considered, it makes her more connected to you which makes her want to support you more!
I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how women have been sold that success (education, career, $, etc.) = worth. When throughout history its always been youth, purity, innocence, etc. Tell a man how much you make and a tepid "ok" is the best you are likely to recieve. So how has this modern version been sold?
The are not sold on success, they are sold on agency. They see the agency men exercise in the masculine role, and come to view the agency women exercise in a traditional feminine role (running a household and co-creating a family) as antiquated, limiting, even demeaning by comparison. As a man, I can sympathize. What's missing though, is the subject of this video: that as a man your honor comes from your loyalty, the solemn vows you keep, and the willingness to sacrifice yourself. But for women such honor is irrelevant; their loyalty depends on the level of emotional and practical benefits the relationship provides. This is why men more often tough it out in sexless relationships (which they would never consciously choose to enter), whereas women start heading for the exits when they perceive no potential future benefit in sticking around.
Masculine traits are not taught because they have been cast as toxic behaviors to be suppressed thanks to 60 years of feminism. Men are being portrayed as defective women. That said, blanket “no” without consideration is not good leadership either. As you point out, communication and consideration are the best path where men respect womens intuition and women respect mens role of responsibility.
exactly!
I slept through New Years.
Why do you make videos for men about things they already agree with? These topics would be much more productive if presented to a female audience.
I make videos about topics that I am passionate about with the overarching purpose of building a bridge between men and women. Plenty of men learn things here about women that helps them and/or they learn how to communicate things to the women in their lives in ways they might not have thought of before. I'd love more women here, if you'd like you can help me with that and share this with some women in your life 🙂
@anyashakh I wish you had a female audience as well. I can't recommend you to the women in my life because fortunately in my country there's not the generalized contempt towards men from women that exists in the USA.
"What women are missing is accountability" - No shit.
There were 500,000 men killed in the civil war!!! both sides gave all!!!! Army vet!!!!
I don't think it's possible to revive the concept of honor while still outsourcing protection to policemen, otherwise you're just cosplaying at having authority
The continuation of the nonsense of the woman that has lasted for tens of thousands of years :/