I very much enjoy this channel. Even though I don’t have the energy to execute all your tips, it feels good to have some sort of handbook from someone who also went through our troubles.
After psychological trauma at the age of seven, I lived the next six decades from an emotional mind perspective...exclusively. I started to use the wise mind combination just a few months ago; and it has made a big difference. Unfortunately, it takes an incredible effort to fend off my tendency towards emotional 'reasoning'. This overview clears up a lot for me.
You make more sense than all of the seven counselors that I've been to in my life. I'm 73 now, and it's just almost too late to be of any use to me. I mean can't live forever.
Napoleon once said, "The mind and the heart are always battling each other. But ultimately the mind wins." I find that something may attract me or move me emotionally, and often it has to; but ultimately it has to agree with the intellect.
And despite all the positive mental health awareness… it is still discriminated against especially in the workplace… in fact especially in the health sector - ironically
I'm a simple girl I see Dr. Scott video I click video. Lol but seriously have you ever considered having people email in questions because I would love to hear your perspective on peoples questions and be able to ask my own. Thanks for everything you do ❤
I'm studying bs psychology im on my 1st year on this degree. I would like to thank Dr. Scott Eilers because i learned valuable lesson; and also his shared knowledge helped me grow personally and realise things in a better way than before.
wow ! a new concept for me ! my thoughts and emotions are at constant war with each other...for the 1st time ever, i saw this play out after watching your video...
Oh, there is no problem here for me, my emotions and my thinking always work together: I am stressed and i go full panic mode and then i think about not going outside for a month
Emotional vs logical decision: i was asked last min to attend a holiday work function (fancy smanshy). The question was put "do you want to come?" and i really didn't know WHAT i wanted. Didn't go. This is helpful video.
Appreciate your work greatly. Well, in my case it's not so much that I feel I loose trust in my ability to form healthy decisions. It is more, that my body profits from my decisions ( so they can't be THAT bad) but my mental state does not. Nothing really seems to work against depressive states. Meanwhile I came to the conclusion that these states are some form of highly overlearned protective mechanism. Btw I'm a (former) psychologist too. My bias is more towards the intuitive-emotional I would say, but not Sure. I really have to think this through, thank you for your inspirational content, Dr. Eilers.🎉
Dealing with clinical depression 11 months. Just tired of it, tired of trying to get well. Days I can go for a walk and days I dont want to do anything because sick of crying, feeling down. Going to counselling. In bed most days at 4 or 5 pm. Just feel terrible and cant seem to get well, just so tired of it all. I have no one in my life, in a job I hate and dont want to go back. 52 now just tired of life and struggling 😢
Oh John, you sound so miserable right now. I have a lot of thoughts or suggestions for you, but there’s not quite enough data to start tossing things out! 1. Is your therapist giving you things to try, and have you implemented ANYTHING? 2. Are you taking pharmaceuticals? 3. Do you have trauma in your past? 4. Did you listen to THIS video? If so, do you recognize your bent toward emotional versus rational thinking? 5. Are you open to considering spiritual influences in your life? 6. What specifically do you hate about your job? 7. Have you ever had any hobbies? What? 8. Has depression always been something you’ve struggled with or did some life event trigger this? 9. Are you completely sure you have no one who cares about you? 10. Do you have anyone YOU care about? (Perhaps they don’t know…)
I have 3 brothers, lost my best friend my mum my Hero to Suicide in 2021 she was 76. She had cancer. I don't have any close friends. My mum was my life. I was hospitalised twice this year with my mental health. The job is lonley my life is so lonely. Just finding it so tough to live 😪
Интуиция усиляется с опытом и развитием логики. А задвигать свои чувства на задний план при принятии решений, может правда сыграть злую шутку в долгосрочной преспективе, когда человек долгое время отрицает свои моральные принципы и то что ему нравится, ради выгоды, он может сильно перегореть и улететь в депрессию
@ no I believe in Jesus and I pray for everyone it just doesn’t happen for me. I know I can do better but I am so cluttered. I feel like I’m going through so much pain. I have lupus and it’s really hard. I know I can do this yet I don’t know where to start. Make sense?
When the system is gatekeeping help behind abuse, how does one deal with that? If you cannot have the help you know and feel you need unless you allow a resource intensive attempt to break your will so that other people can feel good about themselves and validate their unhealthy status quo beliefs? When you have little strength left and they want to also nuke the last bit you can draw strength from? My life experience is more like repeatedly dealing with external attempts to bring me out of the mind-heart balance, probably by people taking issue with that because their imbalance resents the contrast. But there are also quite solid pressures that try to coerce you to neglect your heart even if you know you shouldn't. In this messed up society I feel like a bloody revolutionary for playing with the thought of rigorously following my mind and heart in unison. It will likely lead to some form of punishment, but maybe my heart will pull me through then. It was actually ayahuasca that once taught me to say NO to things that don't vibe with me, and it caused me to do nothing by the book or as I was supposed to, and afterwards it was all good and everybody gained a bit of enlightenment.
I'm doing the best in life now that I've ever done. I don't know if love is worth looking for though. I've been alone all my life (I'm mid 40's) so it's my normal and it's hard to miss something I've never experienced. 🤔 EDIT: I was in a emotional incest relationship growing up until my mid 30's so I have a fairly messed up idea of what love is anyway, probably doesn't help.
Absolutely fabulous! So many people i know have absolutely no clue about that. How can we convince someone that they are too emotional and their emotional decisions will harm them? I think we cannot. We just let them make their ton of mistakes which hopefully will make them understand all that. How do you explain that the CEO killer seemed to be very intelligent, however his decision to kill the CEO was very emotional and not at all rational?
How do you know that? You don't know his life, priorities, strengths, weaknesses and needs. Since it looked quite premeditated, his heart and mind might have been in balance and that gave him the resolve and inner peace to choose such a drastic action.
My biggest issue is I can never relax. I always gotta do a chore or run an errand or even thinking about things to do. I’ve completely burned myself out. I’m giving myself anxiety. I literally cannot stop, I’m like an addict. No matter how sick Iget, I’ll relax for a day or two and then I’m back at it again. Looking for a therapist has been impossible.
Try much smaller segments of relaxation. Two days was the classic rebound setup. If you can sit and meditate for five minutes, you can always draw from the success experience. And if next time it's only three minutes, that's fine, because if you can accept it in peace, next time it might be six.
I make emotional decisions about my health and lifestyle that means I do what I enjoy or what I need to do in the context of having no energy or just being too down. This is not good because it means I eat junk food and smoke. Everything else I'm quite logical about. I could probably do with a whole course of DBT to be honest 😟
I enjoyed the video, but it seems you left out one critical factor, time. Each situation is unique. One event might require a decision in a minute and another in a month. My technique it to use the rational brain for short-term decisions and let the emotional side work with the rational side for a day, a week, or longer. I fill in the "spreadsheet" over time, and usually, the long-term decision is the correct one.
I'm reminded of my first home, of my own. Noting I'm intellectual, CPTSD and INTJ. When I walked into it the first time, it felt like my aura was held and comforted. It was purely emotional and instinctive. The home welcomed me. Outwardly it was solid but was a fixer upper. It was SO much work. And SO worth it.
See 👀 I have been living in dumb mind. This is where I make no choices by using freeze mind or avoid mind. I do not recommend it. I think using emotion mind with reason mind sounds more productive. ❤❤❤
I believe I used to have better instincts or intuition, but over the decades, I've come to the conclusion that the world is largely dangerous. It's just easier and safer to keep most folks at arms-length.
You consistently have the most negative comments section I have seen for any counselor/psychologist channel. Right now the most upvoted comment for this video is “I don’t even care anymore.”
I've noticed that too. I think there are a lot of people who simply don't want to get better because their mental health issues have become their identity. If you were about to wave a magic wand and solve all their problems, they would slap it out of your hand.
@@Jessie-i9j Ok, I get the no energy. I have a chronic illness, too, but it's not painful like Lupus. I'd suggest choosing the most urgent bills that are actually due today or overdue, and paying just those if you do it online or by mail. If you actually have to go to the bank, it might be better to get them all together and go. You could also consider having them paid automatically through your bank account. The drawback is that you don't get to decide the date, so that may not work for you.
Unfortunately a fundamental misunderstanding of the text. Wise mind is a third state of mind. Often called intuition, and somtimes associated with emotion, but it is in fact the peaceful centre that is akin with a mindful state of neutrality. Refer original work by Marsha Lineham et al. ❤
The short answer is yes. The real answer is it depends. It depends on the type and depth of depression. My first bout of extreme, suicidal thoughts level depression did not respond to meds in a good way. In fact, they made me more depressed, angry and suicidal in my thoughts. Counseling saved me. A counselor like Dr. Ellers who was willing to tell me things rather than sit back and be passive hoping I'd discover peace myself. For years this counseling, which only lasted three months but stuck with me for a decade or more, along with willfully increasing my contact with the outside world beyond work, increased exercise and participating in things I liked emotionally rather than just what I thought was beneficial intellectually kept me on a good path. Eventually though I realized that I had always struggled with a background level of depression and occasional anhedonia that would lead to irrational thoughts and anxiety. The anxiety was the worst and became such that work and general life was starting to get affected. I realized I had either stopped doing the things that had worked for me or reduced them dramatically without even noticing. This all stemmed from a relationship that had literally taken the best part of me out of me. As I started to implement the old standby fixes I was older and they weren't as effective so I asked my doctor about the only med I ever tried that worked without causing side effects, that being Lexapro. I use a very small dose and it, in and of itself, doesn't eliminate the depression. What it does instead is take the edge off and tame the anxiety so that the things I do to help myself physically and mentally are more effective and I can do them consistently. I have found that among friends and clients who have opened up to me about depression that something like this has been one of our only two effective paths long term. The first being extreme commitment to diet, exercise, sleep and social routines that produce effective and beneficial results. And the second being a mild med that help us make the most of the fixes we implement when we aren't the types that can be so rigid and consistent with our routines. You're not alone, friend, and what I have done or others may not be your path but it helps to know there are paths out there but there are rarely short cuts. I tried looking for the shortcuts, otherwise known as hacks today, but they never existed. Eventually I had to make myself do the work. I was always the person who wanted to know the result I would get before I did the work. But, as with most successful ventures in life, you have to do the work before you will know the results and modify the process as you go to get where you want to be.
I wish everyone well and appreciate your work. But, no one makes good decisions, no one can control their behavior or tongue and no one can save themselves. We need God.
I very much enjoy this channel. Even though I don’t have the energy to execute all your tips, it feels good to have some sort of handbook from someone who also went through our troubles.
After psychological trauma at the age of seven, I lived the next six decades from an emotional mind perspective...exclusively. I started to use the wise mind combination just a few months ago; and it has made a big difference. Unfortunately, it takes an incredible effort to fend off my tendency towards emotional 'reasoning'. This overview clears up a lot for me.
❤
You make more sense than all of the seven counselors that I've been to in my life. I'm 73 now, and it's just almost too late to be of any use to me. I mean can't live forever.
Never too late as long as you're still alive, and better late than never.
Napoleon once said, "The mind and the heart are always battling each other. But ultimately the mind wins."
I find that something may attract me or move me emotionally, and often it has to; but ultimately it has to agree with the intellect.
Thank you Dr. Scott. Good information!
The mental health system is broken beyond repair. So we pay a very high price. THIS IS THE TRUTH
And despite all the positive mental health awareness… it is still discriminated against especially in the workplace… in fact especially in the health sector - ironically
I'm a simple girl I see Dr. Scott video I click video. Lol but seriously have you ever considered having people email in questions because I would love to hear your perspective on peoples questions and be able to ask my own. Thanks for everything you do ❤
I'm studying bs psychology im on my 1st year on this degree. I would like to thank Dr. Scott Eilers because i learned valuable lesson; and also his shared knowledge helped me grow personally and realise things in a better way than before.
I have witnessed a lot of BS psychology in my life. 😜😒
Always appreciate your insight. Thanks, Doc! I'll do my best going forward! 🏃♂️
wow ! a new concept for me ! my thoughts and emotions are at constant war with each other...for the 1st time ever, i saw this play out after watching your video...
Oh brother I'm doomed. I'm exhausted from out of control BPD and BD symptoms.
If you haven’t seen Dr. Daniel Fox on RUclips, you might want to check him out. He’s the best BPT information therapist around.
Mind heart gut communication.
Oh, there is no problem here for me, my emotions and my thinking always work together:
I am stressed and i go full panic mode and then i think about not going outside for a month
Clear cut on the edge, dispelling myrhs and feelings, to squarely look a t lifé, i liked this talk think it makes alot of sense🎉😂!
Your videos are the best. So thankful I found you
Thank you
Ketamine and TMS have helped me have a fighting chance to think well and recognize flawed thinking.
Emotional vs logical decision: i was asked last min to attend a holiday work function (fancy smanshy). The question was put "do you want to come?" and i really didn't know WHAT i wanted. Didn't go.
This is helpful video.
Appreciate your work greatly. Well, in my case it's not so much that I feel I loose trust in my ability to form healthy decisions. It is more, that my body profits from my decisions ( so they can't be THAT bad) but my mental state does not. Nothing really seems to work against depressive states. Meanwhile I came to the conclusion that these states are some form of highly overlearned protective mechanism. Btw I'm a (former) psychologist too. My bias is more towards the intuitive-emotional I would say, but not Sure. I really have to think this through, thank you for your inspirational content, Dr. Eilers.🎉
Dealing with clinical depression 11 months. Just tired of it, tired of trying to get well. Days I can go for a walk and days I dont want to do anything because sick of crying, feeling down. Going to counselling. In bed most days at 4 or 5 pm. Just feel terrible and cant seem to get well, just so tired of it all. I have no one in my life, in a job I hate and dont want to go back. 52 now just tired of life and struggling 😢
Oh John, you sound so miserable right now. I have a lot of thoughts or suggestions for you, but there’s not quite enough data to start tossing things out! 1. Is your therapist giving you things to try, and have you implemented ANYTHING? 2. Are you taking pharmaceuticals? 3. Do you have trauma in your past? 4. Did you listen to THIS video? If so, do you recognize your bent toward emotional versus rational thinking? 5. Are you open to considering spiritual influences in your life? 6. What specifically do you hate about your job? 7. Have you ever had any hobbies? What? 8. Has depression always been something you’ve struggled with or did some life event trigger this? 9. Are you completely sure you have no one who cares about you? 10. Do you have anyone YOU care about? (Perhaps they don’t know…)
I have 3 brothers, lost my best friend my mum my Hero to Suicide in 2021 she was 76. She had cancer. I don't have any close friends. My mum was my life. I was hospitalised twice this year with my mental health. The job is lonley my life is so lonely. Just finding it so tough to live 😪
I am on meds for anxiety and depression
Do you think they’ve helped at all?
51 years old here...I'm so sorry you're struggling.❤
Balance facts with feelings
I feel so exhausted because of my hormones problem….I physically can’t not do many things in a day…it also affects my emotions
Интуиция усиляется с опытом и развитием логики. А задвигать свои чувства на задний план при принятии решений, может правда сыграть злую шутку в долгосрочной преспективе, когда человек долгое время отрицает свои моральные принципы и то что ему нравится, ради выгоды, он может сильно перегореть и улететь в депрессию
For the musical version of this lecture, listen to the first side of Rush’s Hemispheres.
I can’t clean my life is out of control. I just need to get organized. I feel here but not here. I need help
Do you have the energy to just throw away some things (trash)? Maybe ten things that require no thinking.
@ I have no energy and no help
@@Jessie-i9j You talked about prayer above. Do you have a church community that can help you?
@ no I believe in Jesus and I pray for everyone it just doesn’t happen for me. I know I can do better but I am so cluttered. I feel like I’m going through so much pain. I have lupus and it’s really hard. I know I can do this yet I don’t know where to start. Make sense?
@@Jessie-i9j It totally makes sense! here's what I wrote below: What is the top priority today? Like absolute basic no. 1. Shower? Eat?
When the system is gatekeeping help behind abuse, how does one deal with that? If you cannot have the help you know and feel you need unless you allow a resource intensive attempt to break your will so that other people can feel good about themselves and validate their unhealthy status quo beliefs? When you have little strength left and they want to also nuke the last bit you can draw strength from?
My life experience is more like repeatedly dealing with external attempts to bring me out of the mind-heart balance, probably by people taking issue with that because their imbalance resents the contrast. But there are also quite solid pressures that try to coerce you to neglect your heart even if you know you shouldn't.
In this messed up society I feel like a bloody revolutionary for playing with the thought of rigorously following my mind and heart in unison. It will likely lead to some form of punishment, but maybe my heart will pull me through then.
It was actually ayahuasca that once taught me to say NO to things that don't vibe with me, and it caused me to do nothing by the book or as I was supposed to, and afterwards it was all good and everybody gained a bit of enlightenment.
I'm doing the best in life now that I've ever done. I don't know if love is worth looking for though. I've been alone all my life (I'm mid 40's) so it's my normal and it's hard to miss something I've never experienced. 🤔
EDIT: I was in a emotional incest relationship growing up until my mid 30's so I have a fairly messed up idea of what love is anyway, probably doesn't help.
👍thank you
Absolutely fabulous! So many people i know have absolutely no clue about that. How can we convince someone that they are too emotional and their emotional decisions will harm them? I think we cannot. We just let them make their ton of mistakes which hopefully will make them understand all that. How do you explain that the CEO killer seemed to be very intelligent, however his decision to kill the CEO was very emotional and not at all rational?
How do you know that? You don't know his life, priorities, strengths, weaknesses and needs. Since it looked quite premeditated, his heart and mind might have been in balance and that gave him the resolve and inner peace to choose such a drastic action.
My biggest issue is I can never relax. I always gotta do a chore or run an errand or even thinking about things to do. I’ve completely burned myself out. I’m giving myself anxiety. I literally cannot stop, I’m like an addict. No matter how sick Iget, I’ll relax for a day or two and then I’m back at it again. Looking for a therapist has been impossible.
Put enjoyment on your to do list. Maybe it's not solving it but it's a start. From a walk to an audiobook to crafting.
Try much smaller segments of relaxation. Two days was the classic rebound setup.
If you can sit and meditate for five minutes, you can always draw from the success experience. And if next time it's only three minutes, that's fine, because if you can accept it in peace, next time it might be six.
I make emotional decisions about my health and lifestyle that means I do what I enjoy or what I need to do in the context of having no energy or just being too down. This is not good because it means I eat junk food and smoke. Everything else I'm quite logical about. I could probably do with a whole course of DBT to be honest 😟
I enjoyed the video, but it seems you left out one critical factor, time. Each situation is unique. One event might require a decision in a minute and another in a month. My technique it to use the rational brain for short-term decisions and let the emotional side work with the rational side for a day, a week, or longer. I fill in the "spreadsheet" over time, and usually, the long-term decision is the correct one.
I'm reminded of my first home, of my own. Noting I'm intellectual, CPTSD and INTJ.
When I walked into it the first time, it felt like my aura was held and comforted. It was purely emotional and instinctive.
The home welcomed me. Outwardly it was solid but was a fixer upper.
It was SO much work. And SO worth it.
See 👀 I have been living in dumb mind. This is where I make no choices by using freeze mind or avoid mind. I do not recommend it.
I think using emotion mind with reason mind sounds more productive. ❤❤❤
I believe I used to have better instincts or intuition, but over the decades, I've come to the conclusion that the world is largely dangerous. It's just easier and safer to keep most folks at arms-length.
I don’t even care at this point.
I feel that unfortunately
That's what's keeping you down
Yes you do. If you didn't care you wouldn't have clicked in the video.
@@CPLBSS88so many have lost hope understandably. Once that's gone...its very difficult to get back especially in current climate
same.
You consistently have the most negative comments section I have seen for any counselor/psychologist channel. Right now the most upvoted comment for this video is “I don’t even care anymore.”
I've noticed that too. I think there are a lot of people who simply don't want to get better because their mental health issues have become their identity. If you were about to wave a magic wand and solve all their problems, they would slap it out of your hand.
@@MrAndybanjo He said he wants to focus on the toughest cases that others have abandoned, so this sounds natural.
I can’t get myself together
Yes, you can. One baby step at a time.
@ how do I get started? I am so overwhelmed.
@@Jessie-i9j What is the top priority today? Like absolute basic no. 1. Shower? Eat?
@ get bills paid and I have no energy
@@Jessie-i9j Ok, I get the no energy. I have a chronic illness, too, but it's not painful like Lupus. I'd suggest choosing the most urgent bills that are actually due today or overdue, and paying just those if you do it online or by mail. If you actually have to go to the bank, it might be better to get them all together and go.
You could also consider having them paid automatically through your bank account. The drawback is that you don't get to decide the date, so that may not work for you.
Unfortunately a fundamental misunderstanding of the text. Wise mind is a third state of mind. Often called intuition, and somtimes associated with emotion, but it is in fact the peaceful centre that is akin with a mindful state of neutrality. Refer original work by Marsha Lineham et al. ❤
Junk food :(
Can depression be treated without meds? Meds do nothing for me
The short answer is yes. The real answer is it depends. It depends on the type and depth of depression. My first bout of extreme, suicidal thoughts level depression did not respond to meds in a good way. In fact, they made me more depressed, angry and suicidal in my thoughts. Counseling saved me. A counselor like Dr. Ellers who was willing to tell me things rather than sit back and be passive hoping I'd discover peace myself. For years this counseling, which only lasted three months but stuck with me for a decade or more, along with willfully increasing my contact with the outside world beyond work, increased exercise and participating in things I liked emotionally rather than just what I thought was beneficial intellectually kept me on a good path. Eventually though I realized that I had always struggled with a background level of depression and occasional anhedonia that would lead to irrational thoughts and anxiety. The anxiety was the worst and became such that work and general life was starting to get affected. I realized I had either stopped doing the things that had worked for me or reduced them dramatically without even noticing. This all stemmed from a relationship that had literally taken the best part of me out of me. As I started to implement the old standby fixes I was older and they weren't as effective so I asked my doctor about the only med I ever tried that worked without causing side effects, that being Lexapro. I use a very small dose and it, in and of itself, doesn't eliminate the depression. What it does instead is take the edge off and tame the anxiety so that the things I do to help myself physically and mentally are more effective and I can do them consistently. I have found that among friends and clients who have opened up to me about depression that something like this has been one of our only two effective paths long term. The first being extreme commitment to diet, exercise, sleep and social routines that produce effective and beneficial results. And the second being a mild med that help us make the most of the fixes we implement when we aren't the types that can be so rigid and consistent with our routines. You're not alone, friend, and what I have done or others may not be your path but it helps to know there are paths out there but there are rarely short cuts. I tried looking for the shortcuts, otherwise known as hacks today, but they never existed. Eventually I had to make myself do the work. I was always the person who wanted to know the result I would get before I did the work. But, as with most successful ventures in life, you have to do the work before you will know the results and modify the process as you go to get where you want to be.
Walk - go outside - get a professional massage - do a cold plunge / cold shower - listen to upbeat music. I enjoyed the movie "Spirited Away."
What's the cause and what meds have you tried - questions to ask self. Maybe it's a lack of dopamine.
I am praying for you
I wish everyone well and appreciate your work. But, no one makes good decisions, no one can control their behavior or tongue and no one can save themselves. We need God.
Fake gods like yours lead to mental illness.