Quick epilogue: Though things wouldn’t immediately get better, when I switched to a theatre BA I was able to take a class called “history of contemporary theatre.” It was exactly the class I was looking for, because instead of talking about the shows from the 19th and 20th century, we were talking about shows that had just opened. Shows like Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, and Fun Home. For each class we would have to come in with a short essay on the production history of the show. And for the first time I got to see a peek behind the curtain and hear histories that were more relevant to today. But there was always a piece of me that wanted to learn more about the shows that hadn’t been successes. Two months later I decided to write a personal essay on American Psycho the Musical, which led to one on Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark, and the rest is history. While my love of theatre was destroyed by a group of professors, it’s worth noting that it only took one really good one to start rebuilding it. Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I hope this story helps you in one way or another and again, I am so happy you’re here.
*gloms on with the hugs* I was a theater major as well, who started in acting but then realized stage management would suit me better....and then ten years as a stage manager suited me enough. Ironically, one of the directors in my theater program taught me more about life than about theater - and that was a big help. She somehow ended up telling us all her philosophy of life during the cast party for our student show - which was, to live one's life by a code of behavior as opposed to living for a certain goal. Because if you had a goal in mind ("I'm going to act!"), and you never got there, you'd consider yourself a failure - or if you got there early, then what? Also, she pointed out that people live long lives and often change their minds about what they want to do. Instead, if you live by a code ("whatever it is I do, I'm going to give it an honest effort"), then you can apply that to ANYTHING, so you can change things up. And if you fail at the thing you're trying to do, if you've still lived by that code then you still win ("welp, I completely flopped at running this marathon - but you know what, I gave it an honest try so it's okay").
I'm so glad they separated yours! Ours was all smashed together and the Acting sucked most of the life out of the degree. (In a last senior feedback session, all of us techies basically vented as much.) Although History of Theatre was indeed one of the real highlights for me, too. Hmm, I wonder why I like this channel so much... :)
I have a not dissimilar story about music and university. But, if it’s what you are meant to be doing it’ll come back around to you. If you have talent don’t lose it, use it.
Your teacher sounds awful. I don't think people realise just how big of an impact a bad teacher can have on their students. I was in a creative writing programme and one of my teachers spent half the class telling us all about how none of us would ever write again. I think he was just bitter and didn't want anyone else to achieve their dreams.
It just makes no sense why they do that. Like, it's not your place to say and if you really don't think we're gonna succeed, then what even is your job as a teacher?
@@WaitintheWings My teacher actually wanted to be a filmmaker and seemed bitter that he was 'just' a travel writer (even though that in itself is a dream job many people would cut off their left arm for). So I think he just wanted us to be as miserable as he was.
There are a crazy amount of entitled gate keepers in the arts, in particular in arts education in college/university that seem to think making life a living hell is how you train new artists. I went through some similar things. Came through with my love of performing in tact but it still stinks. Glad you are here and love this channel.
Thank you so much Tony. The entitled gate keepers thing is sadly still very true. I'm happy to hear you made it through with your love of performing in tact and that it brought you here. This means a lot, thank you.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I hope you know your worth and will never let yourself be defined by toxic professors or someone else in any way. You are doing well! Your videos are my favourite thing on earth, so please please whenever you start doing something you're passionate about, don't let others destroy it. Also, thanks for sharing this
I really wish more teachers built an understanding of the emotional health of their students. Your story is worth sharing, and thank you for doing that.
Ugh, the poisonous acting teacher. That pushed me out of acting for years. I lost so much time. But I love love love performing now. Thank you for sharing.
I swear to god there’s something about trauma happening in the final “semester” of a performance related person’s academic (or even professional) career that can really fuck someone up. I also went through a major family loss and a hideous relationship and subsequent breakup in the december/january of my final year of university and in the following summer I hit rock bottom. I won’t go into details but hearing your story brought a weird amount of comfort. You are incredibly talented and I can’t wait to watch you continue on your journey. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Oh, not to mention I also suffered horrifically with body image (plus sized woman only cast in mother and elderly women’s roles!) so you and anyone else reading this and feeling similar - you are not alone! The acting world is horrific to everyone’s bodies and I highly recommend seeking out content creators who share your body type and your interests so you feel less alone. It’s a small step and more of a starting point than a solution but it’s helped me greatly.
I'm so sorry to hear this, and the relationship stuff is something I can relate to as well. I voted not to include that stuff in the video but it really didn't help. Thank you for being here and being so vulnerable in sharing.
I had a High School Language Arts teacher tell me I couldn't take her class because "I would slow everyone else down with my learning" (a direct quote). As soon as possible, I took a "bathroom break." Where I locked myself in the bathroom stall and cried as silently as I could. See, unlike all the other students- I actually cared about Shakespeare. I wanted to understand his work more and that was what the class was for. For a theater kid to be denied to learn Shakespeare was kind of a stab in the heart for me. She knew I was in a special needs class for MATH and I truly believe that's why she wouldn't let me in. That moment spoke volumes to me at the kind of person she is. I can't believe I admired her. What a teacher says and does makes a world of difference in a student's future. I'm glad I bounced back after that moment, it was brutal.
“I’m bored. Let me watch a WiTW. Oh, he has a new one!” *12 minutes later.* Well, now I’m crying and angry at everything he went through and how relatable it is.
Wanna know something crazy? I never had any plans to become an actor, I've always been a filmmaker, writer, and director. I felt more comfortable working behind the scenes rather than in front of the spotlight. It wasn't until I went to see a local dinner theater show performing Titanic The Musical that it woke something up in me and I realized that I've always wanted to act, I've just been too insecure and nervous to try it. Last December I decided to finally audition and I got into my first play, It's A Wonderful Life the Radio Play and it was truly magical. Your channel helped me feel more comfortable being able to try to pursue these acting opportunities and I'm truly grateful to u for that
The imposter syndrome in arts spaces is 100% a valid feeling (speaking as a former music major who felt like everyone was better than me). Thank you for sharing
Thanks for such a relatable story. I started acting professionally when I was 9. Because of that I didn't study theater in college. I had already acted alongside with 2 of the professors! I did attend a high school for the performing arts and experienced a lot of the "bad behavior" of the teachers. What I learned later on in my 39 years was that they were getting us ready for a very TOUGH career path. Everyone I meet who learns I'm in (was.. Thanks Covid) in theater thinks it's fun and glamorous..... It's not. It's hard work that can take a toll on you in many ways. I retired from acting when I was 29 and became a professional stage manager up into 2 years ago. I just turned 50. Thanks again for your inspirational story. I hope it helps a lot of us!
I'm so glad you found RUclips and found somewhere you are appreciated. This is the most relateable video I've ever watched on this platform. You hit on all the points that affected me the most that I wasn't quite able to put into words. I still feel gaslighted into never talking badly about my experience in school. The rest of the world is NOT like Theatre school, but 8 years later I haven't quite healed from that wound yet.
Please tell me this woman was fired. Those emails alone are BEYOND messed up. Not acceptable at all, and TRUST ME, you will NEVER get an email this nasty from your producer, director, agent, ANYONE in the professional industry of film OR theatre. That would never slide
Oh my god….Your story was so beautiful, Mr. Brendon. I sometimes feel like I wouldn’t know who I was if I didn’t follow through with being an actor. Luckily, I was able to explore the world of stage management, I know that I’m into writing and drawing, and I know that there are people in my life who would fight for me, if I was at my lowest point. Thank You Mr. Brendon, A Young Broadway Upstart
I relate so much to what you went through in college. I was in the conservatory for the performing arts in the tech and design end. I wondered the entire time if it's where I really wanted to be. I mean... I'm a writer and a creator. I've got grand show concepts in my head. But the way the program was run just didn't jive with my creative self. So I left. (Okay I was dropped from the program because extreme burnout led me to fall way behind.) Your insight on theatre and the history of shows I care about (and some I've never heard of) is always a captivating watch. I sincerely look forward to what you've got coming next and hope to engage more in the discussion in between.
This video is amazing, thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and how you made your own way. I don't do comments, ever, but I feel like I have to share. I went to university to study Musical Theatre, and became heavily depressed in my first year, leading to a suicide attempt. I changed universities and completed my degree, earning a First, but I only started to heal and mend myself after I finished. My passion was sailing, and as soon as the last term ended I got a job doing that in another country. That was where I started to engage with myself again, and explore all the things I was and am, instead of all the things I'd been told repeatedly I wasn't. I don't engage in theatre at all any more, I don't sing or dance much any more, but I think I want to do amateur theatre again when I get the chance. When I sail, I teach mostly kids. Some love to sail, some love being outside, some love working with their friends, and some are scared or angry, or feel lost. I always, ALWAYS, praise every one of my kids and tell them how proud I am of what they CAN do- whether it's great technical sailing, helping others, or being brave enough to give it a go. There is space for everyone in all things. Diversity makes our community stronger, better, and kinder. Your videos are inspirational and so full of passion, thank you for your content.
I just found this video now but like everyone else has said, thank you for sharing your story. I graduated with a BFA in Musical Theatre yet I’ve gone through some terrible experiences in acting class myself and have given up on my plans to be in the musical theatre industry. I hope to find my niche soon. It’s just so great to find someone who can relate to these feelings of uncertainty. Thank you, I’m so glad i found this video :)
This is not your fault, we all make decisions we regret and your experience with your uncle's funeral reminds me of my experience with my grandpa. I hope you keep finding good people and good places! Those professors sound terrible! I'm so sorry that all happened but I'm glad that you started this channel!
You are still an actor. I got cast in my first audition for a speaking role in a film 🎬. Now I am SAG Eligible. Don't give up. Everyone has something to offer 💪.
First, I am so sorry that all this happened to you. Second, thank you for being so open with us. Your channel and its videos is something that I always look forward to. Thanks for being here. :)
Brendon, I wasn't expecting it to, but this punched me right in the feels! I have also struggled with body image issues, grief, guilt, and anxiety, depression, and feeling the need to "prove" myself. Like you said it wasn't until I found some distance and looked within that I began to heal. The way you took that and made something from it is incredible❤
I'm so sad that this was your and is many arts majors' experience; the teachers that suck the joy out of the arts with emotionally charged, toxic, and abusive behavior. I'm sick of it. Your experience should have been so much better. You might have STILL explored all the things you are exploring now if you had been nurtured by the ADULTS around you who were supposed to care for your development. I can't say that my experience was a whole lot different from yours when I was studying to become an opera singer at a university. The only difference is, I had a private coach who nurtured me, shored up my self esteem with accurate positive feedback, and encouraged me to be and embrace me in all the best ways. I'm thankful for that guidance and acceptance and that is how I approach education as a vocal coach. I love what you do. I recommend your videos to my clients/students all the time. Please keep it up. :-)
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. These people are so pathological ... my God. You are one talented guy and this channel is amazing. I really appreciate your in-depth understanding and explanations of theater. Nice work and keep pressing forward.
I relate to this so much. I spent the majority of my high school years playing football. I worked my ass off in the gym cutting weight to be faster, spent summers in the program, stood up long nights doing homework because I was a slow learner, barely spent time with my friends and missed birthdays, and even lost my first love for the pursuit of the idea of being great in the NFL. I remember crying in the locker room as I couldn't run fast enough, hit hard enough, and constantly 1st string on the bench. The stress on the body only made the stress on my mind much worse. And at my absolute weakest point; when I told the coaches that I'm not cut out for this; I was met with "turn your gear in by the end of tomorrow." I was broken for the remaining years of high school. But fast forward 8 years into the future, I found success as a military artist after finding a passion for drawing and designing, I reconnected with my old friends and built bonds that I wished I did sooner, and recently found love again. What was my greatest regret turned into the biggest blessing in disguise for me. Because I finally was able to learn and invest in myself. Thank you so much for sharing this story.
I’ve never heard your story like this, and you got me tearing up. Glad our paths were able to cross! You have given me so many great opportunities and been so encouraging! Truly grateful to know you and be friends with you! You’ve built something pretty incredible. We’re all lucky to be here to witness it❤️
What you described happens in other art forms as well. When I was enrolled as an art student I had a drawing teacher who, was abusive and mean. One day he gave us an assignment and what I heard was about perspective and my drawing, that I worked really hard on, was about perspective. As it turned out his instructions were ambiguous, he did not want what I and four or five others in the class had heard. So a small group of us did not do the correct assignment. When he critiqued our drawings he was particularly harsh with those of us who had misunderstood. He actually ripped my drawing from the wall and tore it into pieces. I left that night and never went back. He destroyed my 22 year old sense of self confidence. There is no cause to do this to vulnerable people. I am glad you found your way.
from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for posting this video. I'm about to start studying a BFA and I'm afraid of losing myself and my passion because of this industry. I'll keep this video on a bookmark, thank you so much for sharing your story. I can see how hard it is for you to still talk about and please know that you bring joy into so many lives (:
Thank you for sharing you story! It sounds like you were involved in a really toxic program. The kind of BFA program that’s only non-toxic to the most “castable” members, right? Teachers that don’t know how to teach anyone except those who have already been taught. 🙄 My BFA was the same in many ways!
Thank you for sharing your story! I had a similar experience. Five and a half years ago right before the dress rehearsal of a show I was the costume designer for, I got a call from my boyfriend. His Grandmother was dying and although he wouldn't say he needed me, it was clear from his voice that he needed me. I remembered my acting professor telling us that if we wanted to be successful we would miss birthdays, weddings, funerals all for the sake of our craft and our career. And I said "f this!" I prepped my assistants on what to do and left the theater to go and be with him. Within the next month I was offered my dream job, what I thought I had always wanted: acting professionally and being paid for it and I turned it down. I'm now married to my boyfriend and our newborn son is asleep in my arms. Thank you for bringing awareness to the plight of the artist! I'm so glad that you are finding your niche and your people who support all of who you are!
I've never seen someone take such a devastating experience who not only found wisdom in the process, but also share such generosity towards others in conveying of that wisdom. This was a really beautify video. I went through something similar, and I, too, left acting, as a result. Despite the fact that I'd been acting since I was a kid and that, even at the time I was going through horrible stuff as a college age student, still being told I had immense talent. But the mind games, the callousness and the bad behavior masking as "creative temperament" weren't worth it. Still hard for me, and a part of me will always be that person who wanted a career on the stage. But we move on. And hopefully we find happiness, and wisdom, and learn to be to others what people weren't towards us. It sounds like you achieved just that. I wish you the best! (And this is a great channel!)
Thank you for this story. I am definitely in a similar place. I have always been "the writer" and for the past three years I have been trying to pursue making that come true, only to be met with a lot of resistance. I've been told that I don't write the "right" way or the "right" things multiple times. If anything, the pandemic has allowed me to step back from that in order to figure out who I am as a writer and who I am beyond it. Like you, I have discovered that I am many things beyond my label. I'm now on my last year, getting ready to fight for my point of view.
gads - am forty years out from college and hearing a story with so many similarities to my own - I nearly ruined my health - literally would have crippled myself if I had finished the theatre program I was in - thnx for sharing your story - but more than that - thnx for WITW - each episode is a great accomplishment - and reminds many of us of the theatre we used to / still love - may we all live our best lives and find ways to be creative in them - on stage or off 🙏
This story feels very familiar to mine as a music major in college. Finally making the decision to change paths was a huge relief, but part of me wondered, if I didn’t have that professor who tore me down and made me lose what had brought me joy for so much of my life (not that it was all him - there were other issues, of course), where would I be today? Now, I know the challenges and the pain that resulted made me who I am and helped me become a more empathetic person who hopefully can lift others up and help them be their best selves. Thank you for sharing!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m so sorry you had to go through that But, in a way. I’m glad. Because with out your journey. We wouldn’t have you here. Creating some of the most interesting. Though provoking and informative content on RUclips I love it when I get a notification that you have uploaded something. So thank you, for you passion and dedication to an industry that you have been able to find a new way to love. That many of us, after we suffered that rejection, turned our back on and only look back on with a “what if” mentality Sending love from Sydney Australia
this video really touched me. your journey is your own, and clearly you made the right choice because this channel is so special and the truest reflection of your talent that could possibly exist. i must say something though, about living with regret. there are healthy aspects to regret, and there are parts that cycle back into unnecessary pain. i understand the sadness of not being there, but please don’t beat yourself up for making the wrong choice. these things don’t have to haunt us to be powerful lessons, and i hope your heart eases with time.
I just want to say THANK YOU for being so honest about this experience! I can’t imagine how challenging it was for you to open up about this time in your life, but it is so appreciated!
Cool not crying watching this 🥺 I'm so glad I found this channel in the pandemic. I love the videos even if it's about a show or topic I haven't watched or am familiar with. 💜
I’m currently in my 2nd year of college with a lot more ahead of me. I’m lucky enough to have my love for performing and acting still intact with a wonderful professor. But I’m still very much on the idk side of everything, but this did give me a lot of comfort. And I hope to see this video of yours grow
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Mine is shockingly similar. I went to college for musical theatre in Chicago. I had been doing theatre since the age of 10. Theatre was my life. And my only personality trait I really had. Granted there wasn’t much to do in my small hometown in Wisconsin. My breaking point was my dance professor saying I wasn’t good enough and wouldn’t ever be cast because of my body. Little did she know that I had had years of dance training as well as choreographed multiple successful shows in my hometown. My theatre professions didn’t care when I stopped showing up to class. And the final straw was when my biggest loan got pulled out from underneath me. They told me 2 weeks before spring term sign up. The financial aid dept had known for at least a month at that point and didn’t care to tell me until it was crunch time. It was either leave or come up with $15k in pretty much a week. I’m a first gen student and my parents couldn’t help financially. So I had to leave. And that’s when I quit. I asked my self “is it really worth all this time and effort and money to get a degree in something I might not end up actually doing?”. And I told myself it wasn’t worth it. I also ended up staying in Chicago and fighting to make it work. I’m grateful I stayed because I met some incredible people along the way. Theatre is a hobby now and that’s okay. When you spoke about your uncle- it hit even more close to home. I unexpectedly lost my oldest sister this last August. She was my biggest cheerleader and pushed me to follow my dreams. She also told me I was the family’s only hope. So I get it. Her passing last year really solidified that theatre was a hobby. I would love to be on stage again but I’m not chomping at the bits to do so. Thank you again for sharing your story Brendon. You are not alone ❤️
Thank you so much for this reassurance.. I have been down in the rug after reopening some old wounds that deeply cut me and almost tore me apart for the past few days. Thank you for this video. ☺
I really loathe people who teach like this. You should not have to abuse people to get a good performance out of them. And the bodyshaming and fat shaming needs to stop already. I’ve had teachers tell me my acting was “very regional theater” (a) most of the acting jobs in this country are in regional theater, and b) what exactly does that mean and how do I take that note) and that I looked fantastic when I’d been sick for two years and lost too much weight.
Sorry you had to deal with that crap. Teachers can do either good or in your case bad things to a student’s sense of self and it takes time and a lot of processing out the crap for one to feel whole. May the stories you tell contribute to the collective healing of us all. Happy to be here.
I’m so happy that I found your channel and your video about this. I was also very into theater and unfortunately was kind of iced out. I love theater and performing, but I also had interests in other clubs and activities. A not so great theater teacher killed the fun of performing for me, and by college I couldn’t commit to acting in any shows bc of my varied interests, including joining a sorority. I’m happy that I can follow someone who’s similar to me in that they have a love of theater and can be included in the community without having to perform and can maintain other diversified interests too.
Thank you so much for sharing - I empathise with several things that you've experienced and its so good to see you came out the other side finding your true passions and the things that make you happy. It always baffles me how theatre teachers seem to want to pass their bitterness and "failure" in the arts on to their students - I had one who told me for a year and a half that I shouldn't put any hopes on my project and that I should focus on other units to bring up my grades. When the final exams happened, which went through external assessors, I came out in the top 5 of my class. Goes to show what some people know hey? Thanks for doing what you do, after people wanted to drag you down 💖
Thank you for sharing this. I went through something similar and it took me a long time to get past it to realize that I am worth more than the last person's rejection of me. This is the lesson that I want to give to my acting students, and I will be showing this video to them from here on out. Thank you, and keep moving forward.
I just recently discovered your channel and immediately subscribed. This video in particular spoke to me as I've always had a Plan B. I gave myself 5 years as a pro level bass player (50 years ago) and am glad that I got out of the game when I did. I've never regretted moving on. While I did continue to play, I did it at lower levels and never trying to do it as a career, which really put the fun back into it.
This is the second time I've watched this -- without looking for it either time. It's a very good story. Strong, insightful, modest. No overwrought drama, just personal truth. It sounds like you got caught in a spider's web of someone else's self-importance, which happens to almost everyone eventually. But, you've landed on your feet. What didn't happen wasn't meant to be. You gained insight, resiliency, and a dollop of wisdom.
I really understand your message and recognize the struggles. Teachers tend to forget what life was before theatre or they try to project things on you they never could do. I'm so grateful for teachers and directors that broke the standards and gave me the opportunity to star in roles which were always labeled 'impossible' for me. That made me stronger than all the harsh comments... I just wished teachers would have realized that too... I'm so sorry for your experiences...
My heart goes out to you. So sorry what you went through. There are some people there along the journeys we make with our dreams that can be soooooo toxic. This is seriously like that film WHIPLASH... for real (minus the teacher being violent). Horrible. I want you to know that you are authentic, unique, and passionate in just being who you are. Nobody's Perfect. You are an inspiration. I'm 5'7 as well and just turned 30.... funny is that people think I'm a late teenager through 22. As artists, we're always going to have those people trying to tear us down but the most important thing is that we keep showing who we are. Thank you for sharing your story.
Welcome to the club, my friend. I dropped out of multiple theater programs in multiple schools. Not only did I not feel challenged at these places, but the student retention rate at these programs was abysmal. Plus these programs were all filled with a few rotten apples in terms of awful teachers engaging in (or turning a blind eye to) deplorable acts. Keep the faith. Hopefully one day you can write a play or musical you can workshop on this channel. You’ve done a brilliant job so far!
I'm so happy you've found your happy place again and I'm happy to be apart of it. Gosh, I can't say that I wouldn't have yelled at that professor if I were in you shoes. Judging someone else's body is crossing the line and, even as a (mostly) quiet kid, I would have recieved nothing short of joy from that given the context you gave us of this person. Of course, it always seems a lot easier to do in your head than out loud but if someone could scream out and put those people back in their place, our place would be a lot better.
I finished my undergrad degree in acting. It was so unfulfilling that I went and got a masters in musical theatre, thinking that was the issue, that I wasn't studying "my real dream." Now I'm out of school and considering quitting the industry. It's too hard, I'm not the right type for any of the roles I love, and I've fallen out of love with theatre. I think my purpose might be in teaching. I don't know yet. But thank you for this video. For saying it's okay to fall out of love with your passion or find new ways to explore it. I think there's this stigma in the industry about "giving up" but you've shown me it's okay to give up sometimes, if it means looking for something better. Thank you, Brendan.
You're certainly appreciate. This channel is so informative and enlightening. Just stop to think for a moment ... if you had not gone through and experienced everything the way you did ... perhaps this RUclips channel would have never happened. Synchronicity ... ? ... 👍😉💞
Thank you for sharing! I absolutely adore theatre and thankfully wanting to be behind the scenes does relieve some of the traditional pressure that comes with the territory. There was a school I considered going into their program but I am ultimately glad I didn't. The stories I here of how vicious professors or the favorites can be is disheartening especially with the little I experienced from doing shows growing up. People say that they are just teaching you for how the future will be, but instead they are discouraging some great people, imagine if we fostered a healthy learning environment how that would affect the atmosphere of professionals
Wow thanks for sharing your story, I’ve been watching you for a really long time and I had no idea how similar we were. Thanks for everything you do and all the videos you make, keep it up!
Wow I'm only 5min into the video and have to pause to process everything because this hits SOOOOO close to home. Wow.. I went through pretty much all the same stuff except that I'm a 6ft 2 tall guy with the "personality" of a young adult. I was basically told the only role I'll ever play is Buddy The Elf (and Elf has always been one of my least favorite franchises 😖). Also as someone who legit almost died due to an eating disorder not too long before college, the body shaming that happened in that program was brutal for me. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this kind of experience.
Glad everything turned out and you learnt to stand up for yourself. So many programs take advantage of people with no boundaries and tell you when you try to stand up for yourself that you'll never be successful unless you are a doormat, which is 100% untrue. Always show up for yourself.
I feel ya man. Theater is intense and sometimes it's better to find a new dream than to let that dream poison your life. When I applied to grad schools, I only got one acceptance letter and this was in 2020, when a lot of people had to drop out or delay school and colleges were desperate for students. My grandmother was dying and I knew if I left for my program, I wouldn't be able to come back for the funeral. I still think about her a lot and wonder if I made the right decision. I guess only time will tell.
Thank you so much for sharing. I got a lot of the same negativity when going for my Artists degree, to the point that I will never try for an MFA nor do I advocate anyone else try for it. Too many times have I seen programs grind people down from being happy and excited into cookie cutter artist who are miserable. Thank you for speaking out.
Incredible video that I needed to see at the right time of my life. Thank you for this. Anyone in a position of power who body shames those beneath them is not teaching or constructive criticism, that's a malicious power play and bullying tactic: forgive me for saying this, but your ex-teacher can burn in a place worse than Hell for such cruel arrogance.
I feel so much luckier to have a good drama teacher now. That sucks what you went through. Just shows how much a good or bad teacher can change your outlook on things
I felt the same way leaving the legal profession - it’s not a great place for the creative misfits and certainly not for women of color like me. Good job standing up for your right to live your best life! And also….I’m so grateful you’re sharing your talent with us. I can’t wait to share these videos with our son 🤗
Your story feels the same to my own. I was ostracized from the program because I didn’t seem dedicated enough but I wasn’t dedicated because I didn’t feel included and supported. I have a love hate relationship with theater and it just seems sometimes I am too hurt to continue. By the way, you’re not alone with shitty teachers either. I left and came back to college because of depression, and my acting teacher forgot who I was and shit talked something I did to my face. I don’t even remember what it was anymore but just the fact she did that about a former student was crushing to me. Maybe I was surrounded by two faced people, I don’t know. But it still hurts to see shows sometimes.
Grandfather, and it wasn't even a full show but a class-specific performance. I went to the funeral and the professor had it out for me for the rest of my program. That was about 20 years ago for me, and I went into an entirely different field for grad... yet strangely I've used so many theater skills in my professional life when I wasn't expecting to. (Whereas nothing, nothing from my acting classes.) And I wasn't even actually striving to act; I was interested in tech, circus, and character/improv work. No, no, rugged muscular serious parts. The cult of "acting" feels like such be-all and end-all even in theater programs and companies that should know better. I'm so glad that for you, like me, it seems like closing the door on a certain view of "professional theater" gave you some room to actually love it again. ... I still wish I could go back and take those clowning courses, though.
Hey. I know this might sound weird, but uh...I needed this. I really did. I moved across the country for a job, and the job isn't going well. I love the area, and I took the job to escape another bad situation and 'start' things, but I've recently been stuck and...things have gotten to a tipping point. I'm not sure what I'm going to do for money, and I'm looking for a new job, but...I think you helped spell out that I really, REALLY do need to reorder my priorities. And do the things I wanted to do when I got out here.
Oh man am I so sorry for what you (and thousands annually) went through. Theatre Departments are a tricky business. The instructors are quite often very frustrated performers with an ax to grind. This woman at USU should be called out and shamed. Do it. Or, if someone else here knows, do it. Bravo to you for pivoting so beautifully and creating these videos.
So sorry you had such crappy teachers (I refuse to call them professors - that is a title to be earned). You seem to be truly happy now and - even though I've never met you - I am so proud of you for finding your place in life. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors!
Wow. There's just something about this that's so much more, raw then the original video about your college theater experience. Maybe it's including face cam this time which makes it feel more personal, maybe it's because, if memory serves, there are details in this video that were not in the last, maybe it's just because I've known you for longer and seen you grow so much in the two years since that original video. I'm sure this was a difficult story to tell, but I'd say it was an important one. Part of what makes RUclips a special form of entertainment is that it feels more personal. Most content is produced by a small team or even just one person. So sharing stories like this feels more intimate and genuine, and most of all, it can make someone feel less alone. I'm willing to bet sharing your story is going to help a lot of people in your audience who might be going through something similar. We all have our struggles. That's just a fact of life. But in those struggles it can feel very lonely. Especially when everyone around you seems like they're doing really well. But a video like this says "Hey. It took me a while to figure things out, and it was tough. But I did. And so will you." We're all happy you're here too. As an aside, I kind of want to get that last line you said printed on a poster or embroidered on a pillow! I just need a way to look at it all the time because that is life goals! Okay I'm done now.
Yeah, I left out a lot in the first go through of this one. I probably left out a lot from this one too just because I wiped it from my memory, LETS GO TRAUMA! I'm so happy that you commented on the earlier videos and that it's led to this really great friendship (it's one of the things that came out of this that I love the most). You are one in a million and I can't tell you how happy I am to call you a friend!
Wow, after watching this, i don't have thoughts on pursuing an acting career. I wanted to be a Writer. A Producer, An Impresario. I do sing, act and dance. Only perform in the accord and approval of others. Now,i wanted to pursue on writing plays and scripts. I wanted to be someone famous behind a procsenium and be able to contribute to contemporary theatre. Im only 19 years old and entering college this year. I hope i am making the right choices and decisions. As an asian child, you will become their hope and they will put so much pressure to me..... Thank you Brendan. Thank you so much.
Although it was not exactly your overarching point....I just wanted to say that I had a similar experience when my grandmother died. I was working at an absolute shit job, and they wouldn't give me time off to travel to her funeral to support my Mom and her extended family. So instead of telling them "yes you will" and just going anyway, or quitting outright, I didn't go. And I have regretted it since. I know that feeling, and it sucks. I hug you. For anyone else reading this, it's ok to stand up for who you are and what you want even if it means you might get "in trouble".
Your teacher was a terrible bully and unprofessional, and couldn't even do her basic job of assigning material that was appropriate for you and your classmates. I'm glad you found another fulfilling path so early on in your life. I've been a professional actor for years now and I sometimes wonder if I could have saved myself a lot of pain and anxiety if I had left the pursuit like you did.
Thank you so much for sharing your truth with us. I stopped performing due to a plethora of reasons, so many of them similar to yours (imposter syndrome, not being the "cast-able type" etc), but your channel has helped to keep my love for theatre & performing alive and I can never thank you enough for that. Thank you for not only helping to build such an incredible community but also for being the spectacular person you are 🥺💖
Quick epilogue: Though things wouldn’t immediately get better, when I switched to a theatre BA I was able to take a class called “history of contemporary theatre.” It was exactly the class I was looking for, because instead of talking about the shows from the 19th and 20th century, we were talking about shows that had just opened. Shows like Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, and Fun Home.
For each class we would have to come in with a short essay on the production history of the show. And for the first time I got to see a peek behind the curtain and hear histories that were more relevant to today. But there was always a piece of me that wanted to learn more about the shows that hadn’t been successes.
Two months later I decided to write a personal essay on American Psycho the Musical, which led to one on Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark, and the rest is history.
While my love of theatre was destroyed by a group of professors, it’s worth noting that it only took one really good one to start rebuilding it.
Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I hope this story helps you in one way or another and again, I am so happy you’re here.
*gloms on with the hugs*
I was a theater major as well, who started in acting but then realized stage management would suit me better....and then ten years as a stage manager suited me enough.
Ironically, one of the directors in my theater program taught me more about life than about theater - and that was a big help. She somehow ended up telling us all her philosophy of life during the cast party for our student show - which was, to live one's life by a code of behavior as opposed to living for a certain goal. Because if you had a goal in mind ("I'm going to act!"), and you never got there, you'd consider yourself a failure - or if you got there early, then what? Also, she pointed out that people live long lives and often change their minds about what they want to do.
Instead, if you live by a code ("whatever it is I do, I'm going to give it an honest effort"), then you can apply that to ANYTHING, so you can change things up. And if you fail at the thing you're trying to do, if you've still lived by that code then you still win ("welp, I completely flopped at running this marathon - but you know what, I gave it an honest try so it's okay").
I'm so glad they separated yours! Ours was all smashed together and the Acting sucked most of the life out of the degree. (In a last senior feedback session, all of us techies basically vented as much.)
Although History of Theatre was indeed one of the real highlights for me, too. Hmm, I wonder why I like this channel so much... :)
I have a not dissimilar story about music and university. But, if it’s what you are meant to be doing it’ll come back around to you. If you have talent don’t lose it, use it.
Your teacher sounds awful. I don't think people realise just how big of an impact a bad teacher can have on their students. I was in a creative writing programme and one of my teachers spent half the class telling us all about how none of us would ever write again. I think he was just bitter and didn't want anyone else to achieve their dreams.
It just makes no sense why they do that. Like, it's not your place to say and if you really don't think we're gonna succeed, then what even is your job as a teacher?
@@WaitintheWings My teacher actually wanted to be a filmmaker and seemed bitter that he was 'just' a travel writer (even though that in itself is a dream job many people would cut off their left arm for). So I think he just wanted us to be as miserable as he was.
There are a crazy amount of entitled gate keepers in the arts, in particular in arts education in college/university that seem to think making life a living hell is how you train new artists. I went through some similar things. Came through with my love of performing in tact but it still stinks. Glad you are here and love this channel.
Thank you so much Tony. The entitled gate keepers thing is sadly still very true. I'm happy to hear you made it through with your love of performing in tact and that it brought you here. This means a lot, thank you.
This says it better than I could. It's truly awful that these people were allowed to teach.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I hope you know your worth and will never let yourself be defined by toxic professors or someone else in any way. You are doing well! Your videos are my favourite thing on earth, so please please whenever you start doing something you're passionate about, don't let others destroy it. Also, thanks for sharing this
This is so kind. Thank you for the nice words and I'm so grateful to have you here.
I really wish more teachers built an understanding of the emotional health of their students. Your story is worth sharing, and thank you for doing that.
Seriously. My on campus therapist I was seeing at the time let me know that 90% of the people they were seeing were from the arts college.
Ugh, the poisonous acting teacher. That pushed me out of acting for years. I lost so much time. But I love love love performing now. Thank you for sharing.
And that's what's important. If you really love it you find your way back. Thank you for being here. :)
I swear to god there’s something about trauma happening in the final “semester” of a performance related person’s academic (or even professional) career that can really fuck someone up. I also went through a major family loss and a hideous relationship and subsequent breakup in the december/january of my final year of university and in the following summer I hit rock bottom. I won’t go into details but hearing your story brought a weird amount of comfort. You are incredibly talented and I can’t wait to watch you continue on your journey. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Oh, not to mention I also suffered horrifically with body image (plus sized woman only cast in mother and elderly women’s roles!) so you and anyone else reading this and feeling similar - you are not alone! The acting world is horrific to everyone’s bodies and I highly recommend seeking out content creators who share your body type and your interests so you feel less alone. It’s a small step and more of a starting point than a solution but it’s helped me greatly.
I'm so sorry to hear this, and the relationship stuff is something I can relate to as well. I voted not to include that stuff in the video but it really didn't help. Thank you for being here and being so vulnerable in sharing.
I had a High School Language Arts teacher tell me I couldn't take her class because "I would slow everyone else down with my learning" (a direct quote). As soon as possible, I took a "bathroom break." Where I locked myself in the bathroom stall and cried as silently as I could. See, unlike all the other students- I actually cared about Shakespeare. I wanted to understand his work more and that was what the class was for. For a theater kid to be denied to learn Shakespeare was kind of a stab in the heart for me. She knew I was in a special needs class for MATH and I truly believe that's why she wouldn't let me in. That moment spoke volumes to me at the kind of person she is. I can't believe I admired her. What a teacher says and does makes a world of difference in a student's future. I'm glad I bounced back after that moment, it was brutal.
“I’m bored. Let me watch a WiTW. Oh, he has a new one!” *12 minutes later.*
Well, now I’m crying and angry at everything he went through and how relatable it is.
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that it's relatable, and I hope you know that you and everything you're doing it is valued.
Wanna know something crazy? I never had any plans to become an actor, I've always been a filmmaker, writer, and director. I felt more comfortable working behind the scenes rather than in front of the spotlight. It wasn't until I went to see a local dinner theater show performing Titanic The Musical that it woke something up in me and I realized that I've always wanted to act, I've just been too insecure and nervous to try it. Last December I decided to finally audition and I got into my first play, It's A Wonderful Life the Radio Play and it was truly magical. Your channel helped me feel more comfortable being able to try to pursue these acting opportunities and I'm truly grateful to u for that
The imposter syndrome in arts spaces is 100% a valid feeling (speaking as a former music major who felt like everyone was better than me). Thank you for sharing
Thanks for such a relatable story. I started acting professionally when I was 9. Because of that I didn't study theater in college. I had already acted alongside with 2 of the professors! I did attend a high school for the performing arts and experienced a lot of the "bad behavior" of the teachers. What I learned later on in my 39 years was that they were getting us ready for a very TOUGH career path. Everyone I meet who learns I'm in (was.. Thanks Covid) in theater thinks it's fun and glamorous..... It's not. It's hard work that can take a toll on you in many ways. I retired from acting when I was 29 and became a professional stage manager up into 2 years ago. I just turned 50. Thanks again for your inspirational story. I hope it helps a lot of us!
I'm so glad you found RUclips and found somewhere you are appreciated. This is the most relateable video I've ever watched on this platform. You hit on all the points that affected me the most that I wasn't quite able to put into words. I still feel gaslighted into never talking badly about my experience in school. The rest of the world is NOT like Theatre school, but 8 years later I haven't quite healed from that wound yet.
im really glad that your appearing more on this channel and talking more about yourself and your own opinions!! love to hear you talk🤍
Your honesty and vulnerability is beautiful. Thank you for being willing to share this.
Please tell me this woman was fired. Those emails alone are BEYOND messed up. Not acceptable at all, and TRUST ME, you will NEVER get an email this nasty from your producer, director, agent, ANYONE in the professional industry of film OR theatre. That would never slide
Oh my god….Your story was so beautiful, Mr. Brendon. I sometimes feel like I wouldn’t know who I was if I didn’t follow through with being an actor. Luckily, I was able to explore the world of stage management, I know that I’m into writing and drawing, and I know that there are people in my life who would fight for me, if I was at my lowest point.
Thank You Mr. Brendon,
A Young Broadway Upstart
I relate so much to what you went through in college. I was in the conservatory for the performing arts in the tech and design end. I wondered the entire time if it's where I really wanted to be. I mean... I'm a writer and a creator. I've got grand show concepts in my head. But the way the program was run just didn't jive with my creative self. So I left. (Okay I was dropped from the program because extreme burnout led me to fall way behind.)
Your insight on theatre and the history of shows I care about (and some I've never heard of) is always a captivating watch. I sincerely look forward to what you've got coming next and hope to engage more in the discussion in between.
Welp, I am crying now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Keep up the amazing work!
This video is amazing, thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and how you made your own way.
I don't do comments, ever, but I feel like I have to share. I went to university to study Musical Theatre, and became heavily depressed in my first year, leading to a suicide attempt. I changed universities and completed my degree, earning a First, but I only started to heal and mend myself after I finished. My passion was sailing, and as soon as the last term ended I got a job doing that in another country. That was where I started to engage with myself again, and explore all the things I was and am, instead of all the things I'd been told repeatedly I wasn't. I don't engage in theatre at all any more, I don't sing or dance much any more, but I think I want to do amateur theatre again when I get the chance.
When I sail, I teach mostly kids. Some love to sail, some love being outside, some love working with their friends, and some are scared or angry, or feel lost. I always, ALWAYS, praise every one of my kids and tell them how proud I am of what they CAN do- whether it's great technical sailing, helping others, or being brave enough to give it a go. There is space for everyone in all things. Diversity makes our community stronger, better, and kinder.
Your videos are inspirational and so full of passion, thank you for your content.
I just found this video now but like everyone else has said, thank you for sharing your story. I graduated with a BFA in Musical Theatre yet I’ve gone through some terrible experiences in acting class myself and have given up on my plans to be in the musical theatre industry. I hope to find my niche soon. It’s just so great to find someone who can relate to these feelings of uncertainty. Thank you, I’m so glad i found this video :)
This is not your fault, we all make decisions we regret and your experience with your uncle's funeral reminds me of my experience with my grandpa. I hope you keep finding good people and good places! Those professors sound terrible! I'm so sorry that all happened but I'm glad that you started this channel!
You are still an actor. I got cast in my first audition for a speaking role in a film 🎬. Now I am SAG Eligible. Don't give up. Everyone has something to offer 💪.
First, I am so sorry that all this happened to you. Second, thank you for being so open with us. Your channel and its videos is something that I always look forward to. Thanks for being here. :)
Brendon, I wasn't expecting it to, but this punched me right in the feels! I have also struggled with body image issues, grief, guilt, and anxiety, depression, and feeling the need to "prove" myself. Like you said it wasn't until I found some distance and looked within that I began to heal. The way you took that and made something from it is incredible❤
Ugh, body image / typecasting is EXACTLY why I was forced to give up on my acting dreams. Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm so sad that this was your and is many arts majors' experience; the teachers that suck the joy out of the arts with emotionally charged, toxic, and abusive behavior. I'm sick of it. Your experience should have been so much better. You might have STILL explored all the things you are exploring now if you had been nurtured by the ADULTS around you who were supposed to care for your development. I can't say that my experience was a whole lot different from yours when I was studying to become an opera singer at a university. The only difference is, I had a private coach who nurtured me, shored up my self esteem with accurate positive feedback, and encouraged me to be and embrace me in all the best ways. I'm thankful for that guidance and acceptance and that is how I approach education as a vocal coach.
I love what you do. I recommend your videos to my clients/students all the time. Please keep it up. :-)
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. These people are so pathological ... my God. You are one talented guy and this channel is amazing. I really appreciate your in-depth understanding and explanations of theater. Nice work and keep pressing forward.
I relate to this so much. I spent the majority of my high school years playing football. I worked my ass off in the gym cutting weight to be faster, spent summers in the program, stood up long nights doing homework because I was a slow learner, barely spent time with my friends and missed birthdays, and even lost my first love for the pursuit of the idea of being great in the NFL. I remember crying in the locker room as I couldn't run fast enough, hit hard enough, and constantly 1st string on the bench. The stress on the body only made the stress on my mind much worse. And at my absolute weakest point; when I told the coaches that I'm not cut out for this; I was met with "turn your gear in by the end of tomorrow." I was broken for the remaining years of high school. But fast forward 8 years into the future, I found success as a military artist after finding a passion for drawing and designing, I reconnected with my old friends and built bonds that I wished I did sooner, and recently found love again. What was my greatest regret turned into the biggest blessing in disguise for me. Because I finally was able to learn and invest in myself. Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Showing your humanity and vulnerability takes strength and I really admire that. Thank you for being here.
I’ve never heard your story like this, and you got me tearing up. Glad our paths were able to cross! You have given me so many great opportunities and been so encouraging! Truly grateful to know you and be friends with you! You’ve built something pretty incredible. We’re all lucky to be here to witness it❤️
What you described happens in other art forms as well. When I was enrolled as an art student I had a drawing teacher who, was abusive and mean. One day he gave us an assignment and what I heard was about perspective and my drawing, that I worked really hard on, was about perspective. As it turned out his instructions were ambiguous, he did not want what I and four or five others in the class had heard. So a small group of us did not do the correct assignment. When he critiqued our drawings he was particularly harsh with those of us who had misunderstood. He actually ripped my drawing from the wall and tore it into pieces. I left that night and never went back. He destroyed my 22 year old sense of self confidence. There is no cause to do this to vulnerable people. I am glad you found your way.
from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for posting this video. I'm about to start studying a BFA and I'm afraid of losing myself and my passion because of this industry. I'll keep this video on a bookmark, thank you so much for sharing your story. I can see how hard it is for you to still talk about and please know that you bring joy into so many lives (:
Thank you for sharing you story! It sounds like you were involved in a really toxic program. The kind of BFA program that’s only non-toxic to the most “castable” members, right? Teachers that don’t know how to teach anyone except those who have already been taught. 🙄 My BFA was the same in many ways!
Thank you for sharing your story! I had a similar experience. Five and a half years ago right before the dress rehearsal of a show I was the costume designer for, I got a call from my boyfriend. His Grandmother was dying and although he wouldn't say he needed me, it was clear from his voice that he needed me. I remembered my acting professor telling us that if we wanted to be successful we would miss birthdays, weddings, funerals all for the sake of our craft and our career. And I said "f this!" I prepped my assistants on what to do and left the theater to go and be with him. Within the next month I was offered my dream job, what I thought I had always wanted: acting professionally and being paid for it and I turned it down. I'm now married to my boyfriend and our newborn son is asleep in my arms. Thank you for bringing awareness to the plight of the artist! I'm so glad that you are finding your niche and your people who support all of who you are!
i love love how open and vulnerable you are, art is beautiful but its also difficult.
I've never seen someone take such a devastating experience who not only found wisdom in the process, but also share such generosity towards others in conveying of that wisdom. This was a really beautify video.
I went through something similar, and I, too, left acting, as a result. Despite the fact that I'd been acting since I was a kid and that, even at the time I was going through horrible stuff as a college age student, still being told I had immense talent. But the mind games, the callousness and the bad behavior masking as "creative temperament" weren't worth it. Still hard for me, and a part of me will always be that person who wanted a career on the stage.
But we move on. And hopefully we find happiness, and wisdom, and learn to be to others what people weren't towards us. It sounds like you achieved just that. I wish you the best! (And this is a great channel!)
I'm so glad you found what is important to you and learned to call the rest BS. Good for you!!!
Thank you for this story. I am definitely in a similar place. I have always been "the writer" and for the past three years I have been trying to pursue making that come true, only to be met with a lot of resistance. I've been told that I don't write the "right" way or the "right" things multiple times. If anything, the pandemic has allowed me to step back from that in order to figure out who I am as a writer and who I am beyond it. Like you, I have discovered that I am many things beyond my label. I'm now on my last year, getting ready to fight for my point of view.
And I'm really happy that I found this channel. Thank you for your work and dedication, I truly appreciate you 😊
ME, too!!!!!
gads - am forty years out from college and hearing a story with so many similarities to my own - I nearly ruined my health - literally would have crippled myself if I had finished the theatre program I was in - thnx for sharing your story - but more than that - thnx for WITW - each episode is a great accomplishment - and reminds many of us of the theatre we used to / still love - may we all live our best lives and find ways to be creative in them - on stage or off 🙏
This story feels very familiar to mine as a music major in college. Finally making the decision to change paths was a huge relief, but part of me wondered, if I didn’t have that professor who tore me down and made me lose what had brought me joy for so much of my life (not that it was all him - there were other issues, of course), where would I be today? Now, I know the challenges and the pain that resulted made me who I am and helped me become a more empathetic person who hopefully can lift others up and help them be their best selves. Thank you for sharing!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m so sorry you had to go through that
But, in a way. I’m glad. Because with out your journey. We wouldn’t have you here. Creating some of the most interesting. Though provoking and informative content on RUclips
I love it when I get a notification that you have uploaded something.
So thank you, for you passion and dedication to an industry that you have been able to find a new way to love. That many of us, after we suffered that rejection, turned our back on and only look back on with a “what if” mentality
Sending love from Sydney Australia
I think you're very brave for sharing this, I wish you all the best and for healing
this video really touched me. your journey is your own, and clearly you made the right choice because this channel is so special and the truest reflection of your talent that could possibly exist.
i must say something though, about living with regret. there are healthy aspects to regret, and there are parts that cycle back into unnecessary pain. i understand the sadness of not being there, but please don’t beat yourself up for making the wrong choice. these things don’t have to haunt us to be powerful lessons, and i hope your heart eases with time.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
I just want to say THANK YOU for being so honest about this experience! I can’t imagine how challenging it was for you to open up about this time in your life, but it is so appreciated!
Cool not crying watching this 🥺
I'm so glad I found this channel in the pandemic. I love the videos even if it's about a show or topic I haven't watched or am familiar with. 💜
I’m currently in my 2nd year of college with a lot more ahead of me. I’m lucky enough to have my love for performing and acting still intact with a wonderful professor. But I’m still very much on the idk side of everything, but this did give me a lot of comfort. And I hope to see this video of yours grow
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Mine is shockingly similar. I went to college for musical theatre in Chicago. I had been doing theatre since the age of 10. Theatre was my life. And my only personality trait I really had. Granted there wasn’t much to do in my small hometown in Wisconsin. My breaking point was my dance professor saying I wasn’t good enough and wouldn’t ever be cast because of my body. Little did she know that I had had years of dance training as well as choreographed multiple successful shows in my hometown. My theatre professions didn’t care when I stopped showing up to class. And the final straw was when my biggest loan got pulled out from underneath me. They told me 2 weeks before spring term sign up. The financial aid dept had known for at least a month at that point and didn’t care to tell me until it was crunch time. It was either leave or come up with $15k in pretty much a week. I’m a first gen student and my parents couldn’t help financially. So I had to leave. And that’s when I quit. I asked my self “is it really worth all this time and effort and money to get a degree in something I might not end up actually doing?”. And I told myself it wasn’t worth it. I also ended up staying in Chicago and fighting to make it work. I’m grateful I stayed because I met some incredible people along the way. Theatre is a hobby now and that’s okay. When you spoke about your uncle- it hit even more close to home. I unexpectedly lost my oldest sister this last August. She was my biggest cheerleader and pushed me to follow my dreams. She also told me I was the family’s only hope. So I get it. Her passing last year really solidified that theatre was a hobby. I would love to be on stage again but I’m not chomping at the bits to do so. Thank you again for sharing your story Brendon. You are not alone ❤️
Thank you so much for this reassurance..
I have been down in the rug after reopening some old wounds that deeply cut me and almost tore me apart for the past few days.
Thank you for this video. ☺
I really loathe people who teach like this. You should not have to abuse people to get a good performance out of them. And the bodyshaming and fat shaming needs to stop already. I’ve had teachers tell me my acting was “very regional theater” (a) most of the acting jobs in this country are in regional theater, and b) what exactly does that mean and how do I take that note) and that I looked fantastic when I’d been sick for two years and lost too much weight.
Sorry you had to deal with that crap. Teachers can do either good or in your case bad things to a student’s sense of self and it takes time and a lot of processing out the crap for one to feel whole.
May the stories you tell contribute to the collective healing of us all.
Happy to be here.
I’m really happy I’m here too. Found you today and love your work. 💞💞💞
I’m so happy that I found your channel and your video about this. I was also very into theater and unfortunately was kind of iced out. I love theater and performing, but I also had interests in other clubs and activities. A not so great theater teacher killed the fun of performing for me, and by college I couldn’t commit to acting in any shows bc of my varied interests, including joining a sorority. I’m happy that I can follow someone who’s similar to me in that they have a love of theater and can be included in the community without having to perform and can maintain other diversified interests too.
Thank you so much for sharing - I empathise with several things that you've experienced and its so good to see you came out the other side finding your true passions and the things that make you happy.
It always baffles me how theatre teachers seem to want to pass their bitterness and "failure" in the arts on to their students - I had one who told me for a year and a half that I shouldn't put any hopes on my project and that I should focus on other units to bring up my grades. When the final exams happened, which went through external assessors, I came out in the top 5 of my class.
Goes to show what some people know hey? Thanks for doing what you do, after people wanted to drag you down 💖
Thank you for sharing this. I went through something similar and it took me a long time to get past it to realize that I am worth more than the last person's rejection of me. This is the lesson that I want to give to my acting students, and I will be showing this video to them from here on out. Thank you, and keep moving forward.
I just recently discovered your channel and immediately subscribed. This video in particular spoke to me as I've always had a Plan B. I gave myself 5 years as a pro level bass player (50 years ago) and am glad that I got out of the game when I did. I've never regretted moving on. While I did continue to play, I did it at lower levels and never trying to do it as a career, which really put the fun back into it.
This is the second time I've watched this -- without looking for it either time. It's a very good story. Strong, insightful, modest. No overwrought drama, just personal truth. It sounds like you got caught in a spider's web of someone else's self-importance, which happens to almost everyone eventually. But, you've landed on your feet. What didn't happen wasn't meant to be. You gained insight, resiliency, and a dollop of wisdom.
I really understand your message and recognize the struggles. Teachers tend to forget what life was before theatre or they try to project things on you they never could do. I'm so grateful for teachers and directors that broke the standards and gave me the opportunity to star in roles which were always labeled 'impossible' for me. That made me stronger than all the harsh comments... I just wished teachers would have realized that too...
I'm so sorry for your experiences...
Thank you for sharing this. Keep living your awesome truth. I'm glad you're here.
Thanks YT algorithm for introducing me to this channel. Thank you for sharing your story. You have a very bright future! ✨☺️
I'm happy you're hear too. Love the work you're doing and glad to hear that it's making you happy!
Thank you for sharing your story
My heart goes out to you. So sorry what you went through. There are some people there along the journeys we make with our dreams that can be soooooo toxic. This is seriously like that film WHIPLASH... for real (minus the teacher being violent). Horrible. I want you to know that you are authentic, unique, and passionate in just being who you are. Nobody's Perfect. You are an inspiration. I'm 5'7 as well and just turned 30.... funny is that people think I'm a late teenager through 22. As artists, we're always going to have those people trying to tear us down but the most important thing is that we keep showing who we are. Thank you for sharing your story.
Welcome to the club, my friend. I dropped out of multiple theater programs in multiple schools. Not only did I not feel challenged at these places, but the student retention rate at these programs was abysmal. Plus these programs were all filled with a few rotten apples in terms of awful teachers engaging in (or turning a blind eye to) deplorable acts. Keep the faith. Hopefully one day you can write a play or musical you can workshop on this channel. You’ve done a brilliant job so far!
Thank you so much for this. ❤ (From someone who, although hasn't completely quit, has been there).
I'm so happy you've found your happy place again and I'm happy to be apart of it.
Gosh, I can't say that I wouldn't have yelled at that professor if I were in you shoes. Judging someone else's body is crossing the line and, even as a (mostly) quiet kid, I would have recieved nothing short of joy from that given the context you gave us of this person. Of course, it always seems a lot easier to do in your head than out loud but if someone could scream out and put those people back in their place, our place would be a lot better.
I finished my undergrad degree in acting. It was so unfulfilling that I went and got a masters in musical theatre, thinking that was the issue, that I wasn't studying "my real dream." Now I'm out of school and considering quitting the industry. It's too hard, I'm not the right type for any of the roles I love, and I've fallen out of love with theatre. I think my purpose might be in teaching. I don't know yet. But thank you for this video. For saying it's okay to fall out of love with your passion or find new ways to explore it. I think there's this stigma in the industry about "giving up" but you've shown me it's okay to give up sometimes, if it means looking for something better. Thank you, Brendan.
You're certainly appreciate. This channel is so informative and enlightening. Just stop to think for a moment ... if you had not gone through and experienced everything the way you did ... perhaps this RUclips channel would have never happened. Synchronicity ... ? ... 👍😉💞
Thank you for sharing! I absolutely adore theatre and thankfully wanting to be behind the scenes does relieve some of the traditional pressure that comes with the territory. There was a school I considered going into their program but I am ultimately glad I didn't. The stories I here of how vicious professors or the favorites can be is disheartening especially with the little I experienced from doing shows growing up. People say that they are just teaching you for how the future will be, but instead they are discouraging some great people, imagine if we fostered a healthy learning environment how that would affect the atmosphere of professionals
Wow thanks for sharing your story, I’ve been watching you for a really long time and I had no idea how similar we were. Thanks for everything you do and all the videos you make, keep it up!
Wow I'm only 5min into the video and have to pause to process everything because this hits SOOOOO close to home.
Wow.. I went through pretty much all the same stuff except that I'm a 6ft 2 tall guy with the "personality" of a young adult. I was basically told the only role I'll ever play is Buddy The Elf (and Elf has always been one of my least favorite franchises 😖).
Also as someone who legit almost died due to an eating disorder not too long before college, the body shaming that happened in that program was brutal for me.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this kind of experience.
Glad everything turned out and you learnt to stand up for yourself. So many programs take advantage of people with no boundaries and tell you when you try to stand up for yourself that you'll never be successful unless you are a doormat, which is 100% untrue. Always show up for yourself.
Just saw ur video.
Be so of proud of urslf .The authenticity u displayed takes some people a lifetime to realize.
God bless. Be well
I feel ya man. Theater is intense and sometimes it's better to find a new dream than to let that dream poison your life.
When I applied to grad schools, I only got one acceptance letter and this was in 2020, when a lot of people had to drop out or delay school and colleges were desperate for students. My grandmother was dying and I knew if I left for my program, I wouldn't be able to come back for the funeral. I still think about her a lot and wonder if I made the right decision. I guess only time will tell.
Thank you so much for sharing. I got a lot of the same negativity when going for my Artists degree, to the point that I will never try for an MFA nor do I advocate anyone else try for it. Too many times have I seen programs grind people down from being happy and excited into cookie cutter artist who are miserable. Thank you for speaking out.
Incredible video that I needed to see at the right time of my life. Thank you for this.
Anyone in a position of power who body shames those beneath them is not teaching or constructive criticism, that's a malicious power play and bullying tactic: forgive me for saying this, but your ex-teacher can burn in a place worse than Hell for such cruel arrogance.
I feel so much luckier to have a good drama teacher now. That sucks what you went through. Just shows how much a good or bad teacher can change your outlook on things
I felt the same way leaving the legal profession - it’s not a great place for the creative misfits and certainly not for women of color like me. Good job standing up for your right to live your best life! And also….I’m so grateful you’re sharing your talent with us. I can’t wait to share these videos with our son 🤗
Thank you for sharing and I’m glad you found yourself.
It’s been 30 years since I left the stage and I’m still not sure.
Your are amazing is what you are! I love your videos!
as a guy who dropped out of music school to become a chef. thank you for this!
You’re doing great work now. Keep it up
Your story feels the same to my own. I was ostracized from the program because I didn’t seem dedicated enough but I wasn’t dedicated because I didn’t feel included and supported. I have a love hate relationship with theater and it just seems sometimes I am too hurt to continue.
By the way, you’re not alone with shitty teachers either. I left and came back to college because of depression, and my acting teacher forgot who I was and shit talked something I did to my face. I don’t even remember what it was anymore but just the fact she did that about a former student was crushing to me. Maybe I was surrounded by two faced people, I don’t know. But it still hurts to see shows sometimes.
Grandfather, and it wasn't even a full show but a class-specific performance.
I went to the funeral and the professor had it out for me for the rest of my program.
That was about 20 years ago for me, and I went into an entirely different field for grad... yet strangely I've used so many theater skills in my professional life when I wasn't expecting to. (Whereas nothing, nothing from my acting classes.) And I wasn't even actually striving to act; I was interested in tech, circus, and character/improv work. No, no, rugged muscular serious parts. The cult of "acting" feels like such be-all and end-all even in theater programs and companies that should know better.
I'm so glad that for you, like me, it seems like closing the door on a certain view of "professional theater" gave you some room to actually love it again.
... I still wish I could go back and take those clowning courses, though.
Hey. I know this might sound weird, but uh...I needed this. I really did.
I moved across the country for a job, and the job isn't going well. I love the area, and I took the job to escape another bad situation and 'start' things, but I've recently been stuck and...things have gotten to a tipping point. I'm not sure what I'm going to do for money, and I'm looking for a new job, but...I think you helped spell out that I really, REALLY do need to reorder my priorities. And do the things I wanted to do when I got out here.
Brilliant video, sir. I definitely could've used this advice when I was in college, haha. Thank you for sharing this!
Sometimes things change, and it hurts when people who were supposed to teach you, destroy your interest in something. I'm glad you've got it back.
Oh man am I so sorry for what you (and thousands annually) went through. Theatre Departments are a tricky business. The instructors are quite often very frustrated performers with an ax to grind. This woman at USU should be called out and shamed. Do it. Or, if someone else here knows, do it. Bravo to you for pivoting so beautifully and creating these videos.
So sorry you had such crappy teachers (I refuse to call them professors - that is a title to be earned). You seem to be truly happy now and - even though I've never met you - I am so proud of you for finding your place in life. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors!
Wow. There's just something about this that's so much more, raw then the original video about your college theater experience. Maybe it's including face cam this time which makes it feel more personal, maybe it's because, if memory serves, there are details in this video that were not in the last, maybe it's just because I've known you for longer and seen you grow so much in the two years since that original video. I'm sure this was a difficult story to tell, but I'd say it was an important one.
Part of what makes RUclips a special form of entertainment is that it feels more personal. Most content is produced by a small team or even just one person. So sharing stories like this feels more intimate and genuine, and most of all, it can make someone feel less alone. I'm willing to bet sharing your story is going to help a lot of people in your audience who might be going through something similar.
We all have our struggles. That's just a fact of life. But in those struggles it can feel very lonely. Especially when everyone around you seems like they're doing really well. But a video like this says "Hey. It took me a while to figure things out, and it was tough. But I did. And so will you."
We're all happy you're here too.
As an aside, I kind of want to get that last line you said printed on a poster or embroidered on a pillow! I just need a way to look at it all the time because that is life goals!
Okay I'm done now.
Yeah, I left out a lot in the first go through of this one. I probably left out a lot from this one too just because I wiped it from my memory, LETS GO TRAUMA! I'm so happy that you commented on the earlier videos and that it's led to this really great friendship (it's one of the things that came out of this that I love the most). You are one in a million and I can't tell you how happy I am to call you a friend!
Wow, after watching this, i don't have thoughts on pursuing an acting career. I wanted to be a Writer. A Producer, An Impresario. I do sing, act and dance. Only perform in the accord and approval of others. Now,i wanted to pursue on writing plays and scripts. I wanted to be someone famous behind a procsenium and be able to contribute to contemporary theatre. Im only 19 years old and entering college this year. I hope i am making the right choices and decisions. As an asian child, you will become their hope and they will put so much pressure to me..... Thank you Brendan. Thank you so much.
I need to find this professors and give them a real stern look for hurting my sweet little guy 😢
I would write bunches of words, but I think I can sum it all up in three: I admire you.
I’m not crying, you are!!!!!!
Although it was not exactly your overarching point....I just wanted to say that I had a similar experience when my grandmother died. I was working at an absolute shit job, and they wouldn't give me time off to travel to her funeral to support my Mom and her extended family. So instead of telling them "yes you will" and just going anyway, or quitting outright, I didn't go. And I have regretted it since. I know that feeling, and it sucks. I hug you. For anyone else reading this, it's ok to stand up for who you are and what you want even if it means you might get "in trouble".
Your teacher was a terrible bully and unprofessional, and couldn't even do her basic job of assigning material that was appropriate for you and your classmates. I'm glad you found another fulfilling path so early on in your life. I've been a professional actor for years now and I sometimes wonder if I could have saved myself a lot of pain and anxiety if I had left the pursuit like you did.
Thank you so much for sharing your truth with us. I stopped performing due to a plethora of reasons, so many of them similar to yours (imposter syndrome, not being the "cast-able type" etc), but your channel has helped to keep my love for theatre & performing alive and I can never thank you enough for that. Thank you for not only helping to build such an incredible community but also for being the spectacular person you are 🥺💖
Not gonna lie, I teared up a bit. Thank you for sharing this.
I'm so happy I found this channel.