I love Gabor Mate’s compassionate response to addiction: “Addiction is not a choice that anybody makes; it’s not a moral failure. What it actually is: it’s a response to human suffering.” Stay kind to yourself. ❤️
Having survived the 90s party scene and looking back on it a lot of people are just self-medicating because they don't know anything else. So much suffering, and not a lot of answers.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ The zoom ins have been missed! I know how hard it was for you to film & post this & share your most vulnerable self but you’ve done itttt! Here’s to your recovery & coming back stronger than everrrr! Love you xxxxxxx
Miles my husband went through almost an identical experience and is now many years past it. He now doesn’t drink coffee or alcohol and is incredibly healthy and thriving. Congratulations on getting yourself clean and welcome to the rest of your life. What you’ve done in SO FUCKING HARD and it a testament to your character and strength. Lots of love in your recovery 💚
There are so many functioning addicts in this world; alcohol,drugs, medication, food, sex, porn; but so many don’t admit it or want to deal with it. So glad you reached out and got help . Being dependency free feels wonderful. I hope you continue your journey to sobriety and real, proper health 🙏🏻
I'm so happy to see you active again, Miles! I can't even imagine what you've been going through. Addiction can be completely debilitating and I'm so glad to see you doing better. Much love
Proud beyond words! Your truth and strength will not only set you free but also help so many others. I’m so happy that you had someone like (the wonderful) Jill riding this journey with you - what an absolute rock she has been. You know how much love I have for you both. Speak soon.❤️❤️
just checked your channel a couple days ago because i realized i hadn’t seen you in my feed in awhile and was wondering if i missed something….i’m so glad to see you back and i’m so grateful you feel comfortable enough to share this experience. wishing you the best always miles x
20:10 I wanted to mention that I noticed the weight loss/light leave your eyes over time, but as someone who relapses into anorexia, I know how triggering it is to get comments about weight gain/loss. You also mentioned that you had come off of medication, so I think a lot of us didn't want to speculate. SOO sosososo happy to hear you are on your way to full recovery. You've survived every hardship that has ever been presented to you, and you will get through this too.
i’m so proud you have reached the point where you could be honest with yourself admitting you were not okay. i wish you alllll the best on your journey and thank you for confiding in us. we’re all here to support you miles ❤️
I am a health food vegan, with a very strict disciplined diet. I also binge drink to the point of blacking out regularly and can not stop. I had months of sobriety and just recently slipped again. I’m back in recovery. You are not alone!
I'm only 6 minutes in but I can see you are talking about yourself so harshly. Please don't. We are all human and we are all here just trying our best. You've tried your best and *it is good enough.* I appreciate your honesty in coming forward. Being this open and honest in front of so many people is not an easy thing. Very true that most addicts are able to function. My dad passed in early 2020 from alcohol addiction even though he had been to rehab the summer earlier. I have no idea how long he was struggling with his alcohol addiction before we found out about it. It was probably a long time but I guess I will never know.
I’m guessing you’ve been open and honest in front of a lot of people otherwise you wouldn’t say it was hard, but I’m wondering, what’s hard about it? Serious question - I’m autistic so being open and honest is easy for me, in fact, I don’t know how not to be to be open and honest so I’m wondering, if you’re talking to a lot of people, does your ability to be open and honest drastically reduce? I’m asking because I’m thinking of starting a blog and it may not get read by many people but if it did, I wouldn’t like it if it reduced my ability to be open and honest so I’m just wondering if it’s the number of people you talk to that reduces your ability to be honest and open or makes it hard or is it difficult for you to be honest and open anyway? It’s not clear (to me) from what you said. Thanks
Thank you for your honesty. I had a feeling but I didn't say anything because I don't like interfering in other people's lives. It's good to see you're still here. . . I've never taken any drugs but I know _a lot_ about it because of people I love.. *You are a strong, precious human being.* Please always try to remember that. Sending lots of love to you, feel hugged.
I’ve been praying for you. I knew something was wrong; you didn’t look well. I can understand why you didn’t put up any videos. Please don’t feel like you let us down. I’m so happy that you got help and that rehab was a positive experience. I’m happy that people that love you stayed with you. You look so much younger and less burdened, especially around your eyes. I will keep you in my prayers and look forward to your humor and creative content. ❤️❤️❤️💜 My question is, are you still in pain and if so, how are you managing?
Miles, you are one of the strongest people I seen. You’ve never been anything but honest on your channel. Your vulnerability I believe will help others going through the same issue.
Thank you for being so honest and open. I’m sorry about the physical pain and the mental anguish you had to go through. I’m glad that you’re doing better now. Both you and Jil are fortunate to have each other.
Oh my god, Miles! Addiction is a beast and not even my worst enemy deserves it. I too have struggled and I know it is a pain to quit using. The first months sober are the most delicate so take care of yourself! And Jil! I wish you all the best ❤️❤️
I’m so proud of you, you have really matured through this hell you’ve lived through. Praying for you and Jill. I’m an American Great Granny who’s loved to watch you for years. I would be so proud were you one of my own children. God Bless you and Jill.
"Recovery is not about perfection it is about progression". Take it easy, don't rush and don't take anything for granted. You don't to be perfect, ,you have to recover your health. Sometimes we think we have all the answers and there may be our mistake.
Just happy to know you are in a better place now. And what an illustration of how Jill is the real thing! What a trial you've been through. I love your honesty! 💚💚
Wow you are an incredibly strong soul my friend..... don't feel sorry about disappearing, you showed up for you and did something epic. Happy to see your face again
I’m so glad you’re better. My son is an addict and has been clean for a little over two years. No relapses. Getting clean isn’t easy. Staying clean is even harder. My son is a warrior and so are you. And the lovely Jill is a real trooper. Love and hugs to you both. ☮️💚
holy shittt dude. when you said kratom I froze. I felt like I was the only one in the fucking world addicted to kratom. in detox they didn't even know what it was. thank you for this. it's so validating. my tolerance went up so fucking fast and it was just this constant trying to escape getting sick. thank you for this
I'm so glad you've spoken out about this. I've been an alcoholic for almost two years now and am in the process of getting into rehab now. It's the scariest thing I've ever done and I would love to hear more about how your experience went if you're willing to talk more about it. I know how hard addiction is and I'm so proud of you for getting through this ♥
I just found him and loved his videos. I was so sad over his break and couldn't help but wonder where he was. The day before yesterday I re-watched his videos while cooking and decided to make a miso lemon tahini sauce with arabic tahini from a local Eastern store for my bowl. Literally my first time trying tahini and it was sweetened with protein powder. It was a sign. Edited to add - either I had committed a blasphemy or it was so heavenly it brought him back, haha. Thank you for introducing me to the world of tahini. I am happy to see you back and better. We love you.
Crazy, its like weve gone on this journey together. I got sober literally the exact same time as you, and I'm a vegan health enthusiast as well haha. It's frustrating that people would never guess we had these substance abuse issues or think were frauds because were supposed to care about health, right? Well thats why we chose substances like weed and kratom, because theyre healthy alternatives, right? Theyre natural so they cant harm us, right? WRONG. We were just lying to ourselves. And then people try to discredit us and say things like "those substances really arent bad, its not like youre a heroin addict" 🙄 addiction doesnt discriminate. Anyways Miles, I feel you, I'm here for you, I understand your struggles and I am SO proud of you for getting help!!!! This is a next chapter in your life, bigger and better than ever. I believe in you, sending all the best energy your way, my friend ❤
Veganism is another addiction, you are all orthorexic. Plants are full of antinutrients and harmful to human health when eaten in the amounts vegans do. It's simply not sustainable or good for the environment. All those avocados, almonds, soy that you eat are extremely unsustainable and the poor people growing them have to divert water they need to grow these hipster vegan staples.
BTW, vegans and vegetarians have worse health outcomes than meat eaters, due to vegetable oils and their atherosclerosing properties. Plants also lack many nutrients and the ones that are present, are not bioavailable due to the fiber and antinutrients, the phytates, oxalates, lectins, tannins, saponins, the list goes on and on. Watch videos on here with ex vagans like Lierre Keith, they tell the truth. I've been brainwashed too, I was raw vegan and fruitarian after cooked vegan diet wasn't helping my health (much to my surprise lol). NEvermind the micronutrients, even the protein in plants has extremely low biological value due to lack of amino acids which are essential to human health.
Miles. I feel like your channel has always been your rehab. You are so open and free with your thoughts and love towards yourself and humanity. You give yourself grace. And that's powerful. Listening to you speak, always, you are so very intuitive and reflective and perceptive and eloquent. Thank you for your light. And your want to share with us. 🖤
I saw you and Jil at VNL on Thursday and I was so relieved to see you as I've been missing your videos and was worried about what might have happened to you....I wanted to come say "hi" but also didn't want to intrude on your evening. Anyway, welcome back, keep on keeping strong! You're a wonderful human and I think you and Jil are a great couple. So much love 💜⭐💜✨
My fiancé just went through detox for kratom and benzos. I am so proud of him for getting the help he needed and overcoming this huge demon. I’m proud of you too and thankful that you’re talking about this. Kratom is so easy to get in the US and a lot of people underestimate how dangerous it can be.
It’s great to see that you are doing the work and recovering ❤️. Addiction is such a terrible and isolating disease that makes you feel like there’s no light, it takes an incredibly strong and motivated person to fight back against it. Im so happy you were able to do it and get your life back. Can’t wait to see your new videos! I wish you and Jill the best. 🥭
This really resonates with me. Everyone has experienced addiction in some form or fashion. Wether in their own lives or a loved one. I really appreciate your honesty and am so happy you’re on the right track. 2020 until even now is hard for a lot of us. Please know there are tons of people who have been there, and we all want the best for you. I mean that.
Oh Miles, I don’t think I’ve ever cared for someone I’ve never met before like I do for you. Thank you for your raw honesty and for being so brave ❤️ what a special inspirational human you are. Love you so much! Xx
Is your pain level under control now, and if so how and what did you do? Your journey is just beginning in healing mentally, physically, and spiritually. Sending lots of love to you and Jill.
So glad you are feeling better! The path of healing and recovery is not an easy one but you're a warrior for choosing it. Sending so much love🙏You & Jill are such beautiful souls. ✨
I've experienced that exact same nerve pain since childhood. I always thought it was a stomach problem until I found out by accident that it came from the middle of my back and was a nerve problem. I've had stomach exams and things like that, but like in your case, nobody had an answer. I treat it as a trigger point now and using a trigger point medicine ball on the middle of my back, makes the pain go away. It's never been a constant pain, it usually comes up at night before I go to bed. I totally understand why you've been taking opioids, because having this kind of pain constantly is absolutely horrrible. Hope all will be going better for you from now on.
You are seriously one of the bravest guys on RUclips. To film this video and be totally honest. Wow. So glad to see you are better and still have Jill at your side. You should be so proud and you have no need to apologize we are just happy that you are better know. Big hug.
As an addict myself and my partner who is a fentanyl /heroin addict in recovery . Thank you for sharing 💗 I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself and have a good support system.
You should not be ashamed or apologetic. Everyone has demons or regrets to deal with and you should be proud of the hard work you have done. So glad that you are in a better place. Hope you continue on this path, just take things one day at a time. Know that you are appreciated for your honesty and who you are.
Miles, I've followed you for a long time and always admired your honesty and 0 bullish!t attitude. I am so sorry for what you are going through, you are stronger than you know. Wishing you the very best on your road to recovery, you are loved by so many ❤️
Don't say sorry for not being online. You where taking care of yourself! That's the most important thing you could ever do. Good luck and strength on you're way of recovery.
You are so loved Miles! One of my loved ones passed from addiction, and he was such a sweet, kind, intelligent person; not a stereotypical “addict” at all. It’s unfortunately so judged within society and the shame keeps people from getting true help and getting clean. So proud of you for your recovery and keep it up a day at a time!
@@siouxsieq2u928 I meant more so how society views addicts, or addicts that only have what are perceived to be negative traits. I’m not passing judgment on anyone 🙏🏼
It’s so good that you’re on your road to recovery!! I was addicted to codeine when I was 14-18 because of chronic pain I had with a dislocated jaw and I had to go into rehab/therapy - I was the exact same as you, it was with me all the time, I got my bag searched in school and college and that resulted in me crushing it up and dissolving it into my drinks and hiding the packets in my shoes or where I could! It was incredibly dangerous and I’m so glad I am where I am today but that doesn’t mean I don’t still crave it because I do but I have ways of coping and dealing with that emotion now!! You’ve got this, you’re gonna smash this, it’ll be a tough road but it’s gonna change your life!!! So proud of you and glad to have you back!!💕💕
Still love you for who you are and what you be and not what you do. We all have our addiction, I have a binge eating disorder. Appreciate your honesty!! Wish you all the best for the future🍀
Miles, congratulations that you were able to take yourself to get help. I can't imagine what you were going through during recovery. Soooo happy you were able change this aspect of your life. I wish you all the best. And I still think you are one of the most authentic people on RUclips! Stay well ❤❤
Miles, you look infinitely healthier and I am so pleased you have accepted help and making progress. Never feel like you have to apologise or explain your journey to anyone on here. This is an amazing channel with fantastic content but that doesn't mean you have to owe your life to it. If you want to share your story because it helps your recovery then it will be welcomed and supported, but do not feel that you film it otherwise. It can be very freeing though to drop the mask. So pleased you're excited to create new content but remember to take time for yourself too. Recovery can take years (as I'm sure you know from your ED etc) and I'm sure you've heard about the 'cycle of change', but just don't rush back even if you think it feeds you. Your mental health, your relationship with Jill, your friends and family, and most importantly your relationship with yourself are so much more important to a consistent, stable, happy life. All the best Miles, from a long-term fan and forever supported whatever your future.
It felt strange that I was so concerned where you were when all I do is watch your videos. Thanks for showing up and being real in a world surrounded by lies
Welcome back You were missed Miles there is not one adult on this earth that isn’t battling their own demons. It’s part of being human. Few of us truly face and deal with our demons so bravo 👏 PS go give that woman if yours some flowers (again if you have already) 🙂
so brave to share this. no matter how dark it gets we don’t have to suffer in silence and by having the courage to share our stories we give others the courage to ask for help. 1.5 years sober after 15 years (half my life) of drug (mainly opiates) addiction and alcohol abuse. i know i have a long road ahead but this journey is beautiful and i no longer live a life that i wish to escape from or numb out to. therapy for my trauma, rehab to get sober and AA/ HA/ PIR for sustainable recovery have been life saving for me. to anyone reading this you are not alone and there is help all you have to do is find the willingness to reach out. best of wishes 💖
Wow I have almost the same exact experience, but I wasn't using it for pain (to begin with), just for fun. I started with a 3 grams dose once a day. Then it turned into me taking 80 grams a day. I would throw up a few times a week, need to nap off a big dose in the work bathroom, etc. Just awful. I stopped cold turkey all on my own and it was hell. I literally lost my mind when I was detoxing. I was really convinced I was going to die. I lost 30 pounds, couldn't eat or sleep. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. And the worst part is that (at that time, a few years ago) nobody online believed me. That kratom subreddit basically shuns anyone who says kratom can be addictive. There is a QuittingKratom subreddit that helped me a lot. Thank you for talking about this. On a side note, the reason I quit in the first place was because I developed some sort of mass/lump in my abdomen/ribs that I could feel whenever I'd lay on my stomach. I assumed it was something to do with the kratom or digestion, but it literally never went away while I was using. It went away a couple weeks after I quit. I wonder does anyone else experience that?
I wish you a complete recovery from now on Miles. The kind that completely heals you to the point you could never go back to that addicted state, so you become well physically, mentally and emotionally. Jill is incredibly patient, I could never watch someone self destruct for that long and have faith they will snap out of it xD would've taken some harsher measures, it's a blessing you've finally faced the truth on your own and took some action. From what I know of opiates, there is no denying what you went through was hell. It's a bit sad to look back now and realize how much pretending and lies has been going on in your previous videos, but it makes sense, you can't be honest with your audience if you're not honest with yourself. When ego and pride take over logic, nothing good ever comes out of it. But I know you always have good intentions with your content, spreading love and positivity, so it's great to know you've received it back during this difficult time. And don't be sad some ’friends’ have shown their true faces, you wouldn't want them wasting your time anyway, now you can focus on the ones who deserve it, Jill is surely a keeper!!
Hey dude, thanks for sharing your story and glad to see your face again. I too struggle with addictions, mostly behavioural addictions (digital addiction) lately tho. But something I heard recently that really helped me was "Addiction thrives in secrecy". I find when my addictions are at their worse is when I feel like I have to hide it, which just seems to make things work. But when I talk about it with those I love and trust, it feels like the addiction loses it's power. I think making this video and being open and honest is a great step in your recovery. Thanks again for sharing Miles :) Looking forward to seeing you crack open some waterMALONS soon 😃
As a psychiatrist (who worked in rehab) just want to say one thing -i am proud of you. This journey will make you stronger than ever. Be proud of yourself and keep fighting, even tho its hell sometimes. You are doing great job, dont lie to yourself, to Jil, speak up when something feels wrong. And remember, relaps is part of the journey, so speak up immediately if something is wrong and you feel weak, its totally okay, its understandable, there is nothing to be ashamed of, just tell the truth, just be brave.
Wow what a brutally honest video! So glad to hear you are better now and your wife is still with you. When you talked about what she did for you, tears started rolling. Stay strong!
Oh and the ’drug addict’ stereotype is generally true, obviously noone is immune from it and many high profile and well functioning addicts exist, but I think because you went to a good private rehab is why you did not see the most common types. Plus those types rarely make it to rehab, let alone a private one.
MIles!!! Im so happy to see your face!!!! YOu look great!! I know I dont know you personally but ive followed you for a long time but I want to say......Im so very proud of you. Like truly proud of you. I divorced my ex over addiction. It ruined our marriage. I just had to let go because he didnt want to do the work to fix it. Seeing you you in past videos I knew in my soul something was happening. But to see you now makes me so happy. I also have dealt with issues with pain killers. I have a back injury where at one point I lived on the floor. I literally thought I was going to die. Pain is so awful. I am so glad you got help. I missed that face!!!! I will continue to pray for you and your recovery journey. I am so glad you and Jil are still together and love each other. Please know we love you as your RUclips fam!! Hugs to you and best wishes in your healing! xoxoxox
Hi Miles, it's Joey from PBD. Long time subscriber here. This video is raw, honest and compelling. I could not stop watching. I am so glad you got the help you needed and I am thrilled that Jil stood by you. I love the two of you together and knowing she was there by your side makes me feel that you are going to be ok and that you will use this to make you stronger than you have ever been. Welcome back and I appreciate everything you said in this video. I think your subscribers are very special people who are with you all the way, no matter how many times you fall and get back up. It takes a lot to say what you just said. Bravo!
Your videos are refreshing as you speak from the heart. I'm sorry you were suffering. Happy to see you back. You express yourself so well it's important for so many to see this video as I imagine so many went and are going thru this.
I am in recovery too from a breakdown last year and relate to your healing journey so so much. I am so happy you are getting the help you deserve and that you are back in control. I am glad that you had Jil for support, the power of love is so therapeutic and you couldn’t have a better partner to be by your side ❤️
You have the spirit of a warrior and YOU WILL BE HEALED HEALTHY AND WHOLE in all you do! What you have done and been thru is just another sign of the real true raw and vulnerable person man you are. This video made me emotional I could feel you thru the screen. I saw my Dad be an addict for many years and he got clean and went thru years of therapy. You have the perseverance to make it thru and stay in the light 🕯️☄️☄️☄️☄️ May your angels 😇 continue to guide and protect you always dear friend 🌸💚 sending peace strength and love to you your love and your family 🙏🏼
It's so good to see you looking healthy, hope you are able to find an actual cure for the stomach pain and heal ✨💚🌟 Thank you for being brave enough to talk about your experience, it will help so many going through similar situations. Also loads of love to Jill for standing by you, she's treasure ✨
Number one thing is that you are happy and healthy and very glad you are okay. Sometimes life before youtube needs to take precedent (especially in such cases as this) and I'm glad you're recovering and healthy. I totally agree with you with past trauma and addiction. For some people it's alcohol...food... etc. Hope you can continue your healing with this too.
I’m so glad to see you back and looking really well! Honestly you didn’t have to share such a personal experience with the internet, I never expected an explanation of where you went, but respect you so much for talking about this! It just goes to show you really don’t know what someone’s going through and it’s important for people to know that no one is exempt when it comes to addiction, it can happen to anyone! Sending love to you and Jil 💜
I’ll be honest, i stopped watching you because I felt the genuine side of you was gone. I’m so sorry to hear what you went through and am so happy to hear you’re better 🙏🙏
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
The way he turned up and owned this! A real king
Right!!!
I love Gabor Mate’s compassionate response to addiction: “Addiction is not a choice that anybody makes; it’s not a moral failure. What it actually is: it’s a response to human suffering.”
Stay kind to yourself. ❤️
Gabor Mate is a beautiful, insightful person 🖤🖤🖤
Having survived the 90s party scene and looking back on it a lot of people are just self-medicating because they don't know anything else. So much suffering, and not a lot of answers.
Yes, watched his video with Russell Brand , powerful!
I was just looking at one of his upcoming programs on Soundstrue.
Gabor has really helped me have compassion for myself as I've navigated addiction. His teachings are so important. 🤍
Welcome back, Miles. We’ve missed you. Addiction is a terrible illness and congratulations for your bravery in confronting it and being so honest….
thank you so much 💙
@@HealthyCrazyCool stay strong king!! God bless you
This just makes me wanna watch him even more. the level of vulnerability. massive respect 🙌🏽
just gonna say the same :)
👌🏼 right
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ The zoom ins have been missed! I know how hard it was for you to film & post this & share your most vulnerable self but you’ve done itttt! Here’s to your recovery & coming back stronger than everrrr! Love you xxxxxxx
Love you SO much Steph - thanks for being amazing through all of this ❤️❤️
Miles my husband went through almost an identical experience and is now many years past it. He now doesn’t drink coffee or alcohol and is incredibly healthy and thriving. Congratulations on getting yourself clean and welcome to the rest of your life. What you’ve done in SO FUCKING HARD and it a testament to your character and strength. Lots of love in your recovery 💚
There are so many functioning addicts in this world; alcohol,drugs, medication, food, sex, porn; but so many don’t admit it or want to deal with it. So glad you reached out and got help . Being dependency free feels wonderful. I hope you continue your journey to sobriety and real, proper health 🙏🏻
Sobbing because im going through a similar situation but with alcohol and bulimia🥺 Thank you for being honest, you help more than you know. 🖤
❤️
I will pray for you. I know how difficult your situation is. May God bless you!
I have had the same struggles. I’ve kicked the bulimia after years and years… but still trying to kick the alcohol . Bless you so much.
Bless you and praying for healing 🙏🏾❤️
I'm so happy to see you active again, Miles! I can't even imagine what you've been going through. Addiction can be completely debilitating and I'm so glad to see you doing better. Much love
Thank you so much ❤️
Miles , be happy! You are already amazing as you are!
Proud beyond words! Your truth and strength will not only set you free but also help so many others. I’m so happy that you had someone like (the wonderful) Jill riding this journey with you - what an absolute rock she has been. You know how much love I have for you both. Speak soon.❤️❤️
Thanks Taira you angel!! Your support & love throughout this time has really touched me! Love from me and Jil always ❤️❤️❤️
just checked your channel a couple days ago because i realized i hadn’t seen you in my feed in awhile and was wondering if i missed something….i’m so glad to see you back and i’m so grateful you feel comfortable enough to share this experience. wishing you the best always miles x
20:10 I wanted to mention that I noticed the weight loss/light leave your eyes over time, but as someone who relapses into anorexia, I know how triggering it is to get comments about weight gain/loss. You also mentioned that you had come off of medication, so I think a lot of us didn't want to speculate. SOO sosososo happy to hear you are on your way to full recovery. You've survived every hardship that has ever been presented to you, and you will get through this too.
i’m so proud you have reached the point where you could be honest with yourself admitting you were not okay. i wish you alllll the best on your journey and thank you for confiding in us. we’re all here to support you miles ❤️
I am a health food vegan, with a very strict disciplined diet. I also binge drink to the point of blacking out regularly and can not stop. I had months of sobriety and just recently slipped again. I’m back in recovery. You are not alone!
And I was with a friend last week and they gave me Kratom and I had no idea about any of this.
I'm only 6 minutes in but I can see you are talking about yourself so harshly. Please don't. We are all human and we are all here just trying our best. You've tried your best and *it is good enough.* I appreciate your honesty in coming forward. Being this open and honest in front of so many people is not an easy thing. Very true that most addicts are able to function. My dad passed in early 2020 from alcohol addiction even though he had been to rehab the summer earlier. I have no idea how long he was struggling with his alcohol addiction before we found out about it. It was probably a long time but I guess I will never know.
I am so sorry for your loss. I really hope you are doing better xx
@@eb1634 thank you so much I appreciate it ❤️
I’m guessing you’ve been open and honest in front of a lot of people otherwise you wouldn’t say it was hard, but I’m wondering, what’s hard about it? Serious question - I’m autistic so being open and honest is easy for me, in fact, I don’t know how not to be to be open and honest so I’m wondering, if you’re talking to a lot of people, does your ability to be open and honest drastically reduce? I’m asking because I’m thinking of starting a blog and it may not get read by many people but if it did, I wouldn’t like it if it reduced my ability to be open and honest so I’m just wondering if it’s the number of people you talk to that reduces your ability to be honest and open or makes it hard or is it difficult for you to be honest and open anyway? It’s not clear (to me) from what you said. Thanks
Thank you for your honesty. I had a feeling but I didn't say anything because I don't like interfering in other people's lives. It's good to see you're still here. . . I've never taken any drugs but I know _a lot_ about it because of people I love..
*You are a strong, precious human being.*
Please always try to remember that.
Sending lots of love to you, feel hugged.
It took a lot of courage for you to do this video. Just remembered how strong you are.
I’ve been praying for you. I knew something was wrong; you didn’t look well. I can understand why you didn’t put up any videos. Please don’t feel like you let us down. I’m so happy that you got help and that rehab was a positive experience. I’m happy that people that love you stayed with you. You look so much younger and less burdened, especially around your eyes. I will keep you in my prayers and look forward to your humor and creative content. ❤️❤️❤️💜
My question is, are you still in pain and if so, how are you managing?
Miles, you are one of the strongest people I seen. You’ve never been anything but honest on your channel.
Your vulnerability I believe will help others going through the same issue.
Thank you for being so honest and open. I’m sorry about the physical pain and the mental anguish you had to go through. I’m glad that you’re doing better now. Both you and Jil are fortunate to have each other.
Not only are we women perceptive, a lot of us also know a thing or two about debilitating chronic pain that nobody wants to take serious 🙃
Good point!
Hello endometriosis..
Same, chronic pain really ruins your life.
You've freed yourself...!!! Now strengthen what remains.. .blessings
Everyone can fall. No one is perfect. I just wish you well. Love from México. 💚
out of context but do you think he knows how STUNNING he is!!!! (and thanks for all the honesty miles)
Oh my god, Miles! Addiction is a beast and not even my worst enemy deserves it. I too have struggled and I know it is a pain to quit using. The first months sober are the most delicate so take care of yourself! And Jil! I wish you all the best ❤️❤️
Thank you for having an honest conversation about this. So many people struggle with addiction without others knowing.
That‘s so brave. Thank you for your honesty.
❤️❤️
I’m so proud of you, you have really matured through this hell you’ve lived through. Praying for you and Jill. I’m an American Great Granny who’s loved to watch you for years. I would be so proud were you one of my own children. God Bless you and Jill.
Aww this comment 🥺❤️ sending you so much love and thanks x
"Recovery is not about perfection it is about progression".
Take it easy, don't rush and don't take anything for granted.
You don't to be perfect, ,you have to recover your health.
Sometimes we think we have all the answers and there may be our mistake.
Agree 100%
Thanks Eva. Hugs from Argentina.
🥰 Welcome Back. Thank you for sharing your truth. So glad Jil and you are still together. I pray your journey forward is blessed.
Just happy to know you are in a better place now. And what an illustration of how Jill is the real thing! What a trial you've been through. I love your honesty! 💚💚
He’s back 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️
Wow you are an incredibly strong soul my friend..... don't feel sorry about disappearing, you showed up for you and did something epic. Happy to see your face again
I’m so glad you’re better. My son is an addict and has been clean for a little over two years. No relapses. Getting clean isn’t easy. Staying clean is even harder. My son is a warrior and so are you. And the lovely Jill is a real trooper. Love and hugs to you both. ☮️💚
Thank you for opening up about a struggle many go through… sometimes alone.
holy shittt dude. when you said kratom I froze. I felt like I was the only one in the fucking world addicted to kratom. in detox they didn't even know what it was. thank you for this. it's so validating. my tolerance went up so fucking fast and it was just this constant trying to escape getting sick. thank you for this
I'm so glad you've spoken out about this. I've been an alcoholic for almost two years now and am in the process of getting into rehab now. It's the scariest thing I've ever done and I would love to hear more about how your experience went if you're willing to talk more about it. I know how hard addiction is and I'm so proud of you for getting through this ♥
I just found him and loved his videos. I was so sad over his break and couldn't help but wonder where he was.
The day before yesterday I re-watched his videos while cooking and decided to make a miso lemon tahini sauce with arabic tahini from a local Eastern store for my bowl. Literally my first time trying tahini and it was sweetened with protein powder. It was a sign. Edited to add - either I had committed a blasphemy or it was so heavenly it brought him back, haha.
Thank you for introducing me to the world of tahini. I am happy to see you back and better. We love you.
My brother you have been so missed 🥰🚀🍊🫖🧡sending you an abundance of love & light always
Crazy, its like weve gone on this journey together. I got sober literally the exact same time as you, and I'm a vegan health enthusiast as well haha. It's frustrating that people would never guess we had these substance abuse issues or think were frauds because were supposed to care about health, right? Well thats why we chose substances like weed and kratom, because theyre healthy alternatives, right? Theyre natural so they cant harm us, right? WRONG. We were just lying to ourselves. And then people try to discredit us and say things like "those substances really arent bad, its not like youre a heroin addict" 🙄 addiction doesnt discriminate. Anyways Miles, I feel you, I'm here for you, I understand your struggles and I am SO proud of you for getting help!!!! This is a next chapter in your life, bigger and better than ever. I believe in you, sending all the best energy your way, my friend ❤
Veganism is another addiction, you are all orthorexic. Plants are full of antinutrients and harmful to human health when eaten in the amounts vegans do. It's simply not sustainable or good for the environment. All those avocados, almonds, soy that you eat are extremely unsustainable and the poor people growing them have to divert water they need to grow these hipster vegan staples.
BTW, vegans and vegetarians have worse health outcomes than meat eaters, due to vegetable oils and their atherosclerosing properties. Plants also lack many nutrients and the ones that are present, are not bioavailable due to the fiber and antinutrients, the phytates, oxalates, lectins, tannins, saponins, the list goes on and on. Watch videos on here with ex vagans like Lierre Keith, they tell the truth. I've been brainwashed too, I was raw vegan and fruitarian after cooked vegan diet wasn't helping my health (much to my surprise lol). NEvermind the micronutrients, even the protein in plants has extremely low biological value due to lack of amino acids which are essential to human health.
Miles. I feel like your channel has always been your rehab. You are so open and free with your thoughts and love towards yourself and humanity. You give yourself grace. And that's powerful. Listening to you speak, always, you are so very intuitive and reflective and perceptive and eloquent. Thank you for your light. And your want to share with us. 🖤
Miles, you'll probably help more people than you'll ever know with this video ...
As a fellow recovering addict, (alcohol) I welcome you back and good for you for going to rehab
I saw you and Jil at VNL on Thursday and I was so relieved to see you as I've been missing your videos and was worried about what might have happened to you....I wanted to come say "hi" but also didn't want to intrude on your evening. Anyway, welcome back, keep on keeping strong! You're a wonderful human and I think you and Jil are a great couple. So much love 💜⭐💜✨
♥️♥️♥️ so much love!!!
My fiancé just went through detox for kratom and benzos. I am so proud of him for getting the help he needed and overcoming this huge demon. I’m proud of you too and thankful that you’re talking about this. Kratom is so easy to get in the US and a lot of people underestimate how dangerous it can be.
I've been taking kratom for 3 years and nothing bad has ever happened
glad you are feeling better, addiction is cunning and baffling, thanks for your honesty
It’s great to see that you are doing the work and recovering ❤️. Addiction is such a terrible and isolating disease that makes you feel like there’s no light, it takes an incredibly strong and motivated person to fight back against it. Im so happy you were able to do it and get your life back. Can’t wait to see your new videos! I wish you and Jill the best. 🥭
Aaaaaand he is back…!!!! Missed your videos so much…..! 👏🙏🥳
This really resonates with me. Everyone has experienced addiction in some form or fashion. Wether in their own lives or a loved one. I really appreciate your honesty and am so happy you’re on the right track. 2020 until even now is hard for a lot of us. Please know there are tons of people who have been there, and we all want the best for you. I mean that.
his heart is a beautiful as his face 😍. biggest respect for this
Oh Miles, I don’t think I’ve ever cared for someone I’ve never met before like I do for you. Thank you for your raw honesty and for being so brave ❤️ what a special inspirational human you are. Love you so much! Xx
sweetest comment ever! thank you ❤
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable - stay kind to yourself and be bless
Is your pain level under control now, and if so how and what did you do? Your journey is just beginning in healing mentally, physically, and spiritually. Sending lots of love to you and Jill.
I’m wondering the same!
yes, the pain is completely better now! such a blessing! lots of love x
So glad you are feeling better! The path of healing and recovery is not an easy one but you're a warrior for choosing it.
Sending so much love🙏You & Jill are such beautiful souls. ✨
I've experienced that exact same nerve pain since childhood. I always thought it was a stomach problem until I found out by accident that it came from the middle of my back and was a nerve problem. I've had stomach exams and things like that, but like in your case, nobody had an answer. I treat it as a trigger point now and using a trigger point medicine ball on the middle of my back, makes the pain go away. It's never been a constant pain, it usually comes up at night before I go to bed.
I totally understand why you've been taking opioids, because having this kind of pain constantly is absolutely horrrible.
Hope all will be going better for you from now on.
You are seriously one of the bravest guys on RUclips. To film this video and be totally honest. Wow. So glad to see you are better and still have Jill at your side. You should be so proud and you have no need to apologize we are just happy that you are better know. Big hug.
As an addict myself and my partner who is a fentanyl /heroin addict in recovery . Thank you for sharing 💗 I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself and have a good support system.
💚 stay strong..
You should not be ashamed or apologetic. Everyone has demons or regrets to deal with and you should be proud of the hard work you have done. So glad that you are in a better place. Hope you continue on this path, just take things one day at a time. Know that you are appreciated for your honesty and who you are.
Miles, I've followed you for a long time and always admired your honesty and 0 bullish!t attitude. I am so sorry for what you are going through, you are stronger than you know. Wishing you the very best on your road to recovery, you are loved by so many ❤️
Thank you so much Laura! This really means a lot ❤️🙏🏻
Don't say sorry for not being online. You where taking care of yourself! That's the most important thing you could ever do. Good luck and strength on you're way of recovery.
You are so loved Miles! One of my loved ones passed from addiction, and he was such a sweet, kind, intelligent person; not a stereotypical “addict” at all. It’s unfortunately so judged within society and the shame keeps people from getting true help and getting clean. So proud of you for your recovery and keep it up a day at a time!
What's a stereotypical addict??! No judgment here then!!!!!
@@siouxsieq2u928 I meant more so how society views addicts, or addicts that only have what are perceived to be negative traits. I’m not passing judgment on anyone 🙏🏼
Happy to see you back. One day at a time. We will always be here.
❤️🙏🏻
It’s so good that you’re on your road to recovery!! I was addicted to codeine when I was 14-18 because of chronic pain I had with a dislocated jaw and I had to go into rehab/therapy - I was the exact same as you, it was with me all the time, I got my bag searched in school and college and that resulted in me crushing it up and dissolving it into my drinks and hiding the packets in my shoes or where I could! It was incredibly dangerous and I’m so glad I am where I am today but that doesn’t mean I don’t still crave it because I do but I have ways of coping and dealing with that emotion now!! You’ve got this, you’re gonna smash this, it’ll be a tough road but it’s gonna change your life!!! So proud of you and glad to have you back!!💕💕
9 years clean, and it's a full beautiful life. stay strong and continue to be proud of yourself.
When you said “dyou know what yeah” all the feels 🥰🥰🥰. Love you and glad you’re back! Xoxo
hehe, thank you ❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. Jesus loves you Miles.
Welcome back, Miles! You seem so calm and at ease. Welcome back to life…✨
Still love you for who you are and what you be and not what you do. We all have our addiction, I have a binge eating disorder. Appreciate your honesty!! Wish you all the best for the future🍀
the fact that he kept filming through all of this 🥺x
❤️
Miles, congratulations that you were able to take yourself to get help. I can't imagine what you were going through during recovery. Soooo happy you were able change this aspect of your life. I wish you all the best. And I still think you are one of the most authentic people on RUclips! Stay well ❤❤
So glad to see you back. Super excited that you did change and you were able to give up that. We missed the tahini king💙
Miles, you look infinitely healthier and I am so pleased you have accepted help and making progress. Never feel like you have to apologise or explain your journey to anyone on here. This is an amazing channel with fantastic content but that doesn't mean you have to owe your life to it. If you want to share your story because it helps your recovery then it will be welcomed and supported, but do not feel that you film it otherwise. It can be very freeing though to drop the mask. So pleased you're excited to create new content but remember to take time for yourself too. Recovery can take years (as I'm sure you know from your ED etc) and I'm sure you've heard about the 'cycle of change', but just don't rush back even if you think it feeds you. Your mental health, your relationship with Jill, your friends and family, and most importantly your relationship with yourself are so much more important to a consistent, stable, happy life. All the best Miles, from a long-term fan and forever supported whatever your future.
It felt strange that I was so concerned where you were when all I do is watch your videos. Thanks for showing up and being real in a world surrounded by lies
Welcome back
You were missed
Miles there is not one adult on this earth that isn’t battling their own demons. It’s part of being human.
Few of us truly face and deal with our demons so bravo 👏
PS go give that woman if yours some flowers (again if you have already) 🙂
Welcome back! First thing is your health. We support you and have your back. ❤️
You look better too.
so brave to share this. no matter how dark it gets we don’t have to suffer in silence and by having the courage to share our stories we give others the courage to ask for help. 1.5 years sober after 15 years (half my life) of drug (mainly opiates) addiction and alcohol abuse. i know i have a long road ahead but this journey is beautiful and i no longer live a life that i wish to escape from or numb out to. therapy for my trauma, rehab to get sober and AA/ HA/ PIR for sustainable recovery have been life saving for me. to anyone reading this you are not alone and there is help all you have to do is find the willingness to reach out. best of wishes 💖
So happy to see you back, Miles! We missed your content!
Wow I have almost the same exact experience, but I wasn't using it for pain (to begin with), just for fun. I started with a 3 grams dose once a day. Then it turned into me taking 80 grams a day. I would throw up a few times a week, need to nap off a big dose in the work bathroom, etc. Just awful. I stopped cold turkey all on my own and it was hell. I literally lost my mind when I was detoxing. I was really convinced I was going to die. I lost 30 pounds, couldn't eat or sleep. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. And the worst part is that (at that time, a few years ago) nobody online believed me. That kratom subreddit basically shuns anyone who says kratom can be addictive. There is a QuittingKratom subreddit that helped me a lot. Thank you for talking about this.
On a side note, the reason I quit in the first place was because I developed some sort of mass/lump in my abdomen/ribs that I could feel whenever I'd lay on my stomach. I assumed it was something to do with the kratom or digestion, but it literally never went away while I was using. It went away a couple weeks after I quit. I wonder does anyone else experience that?
I wish you a complete recovery from now on Miles. The kind that completely heals you to the point you could never go back to that addicted state, so you become well physically, mentally and emotionally. Jill is incredibly patient, I could never watch someone self destruct for that long and have faith they will snap out of it xD would've taken some harsher measures, it's a blessing you've finally faced the truth on your own and took some action. From what I know of opiates, there is no denying what you went through was hell. It's a bit sad to look back now and realize how much pretending and lies has been going on in your previous videos, but it makes sense, you can't be honest with your audience if you're not honest with yourself. When ego and pride take over logic, nothing good ever comes out of it. But I know you always have good intentions with your content, spreading love and positivity, so it's great to know you've received it back during this difficult time. And don't be sad some ’friends’ have shown their true faces, you wouldn't want them wasting your time anyway, now you can focus on the ones who deserve it, Jill is surely a keeper!!
♥️
Hey dude, thanks for sharing your story and glad to see your face again. I too struggle with addictions, mostly behavioural addictions (digital addiction) lately tho. But something I heard recently that really helped me was "Addiction thrives in secrecy". I find when my addictions are at their worse is when I feel like I have to hide it, which just seems to make things work. But when I talk about it with those I love and trust, it feels like the addiction loses it's power. I think making this video and being open and honest is a great step in your recovery. Thanks again for sharing Miles :) Looking forward to seeing you crack open some waterMALONS soon 😃
Imma real G. Im so glad you are on the road to recovery.
Nothing but respect for you Miles!
As a psychiatrist (who worked in rehab) just want to say one thing -i am proud of you. This journey will make you stronger than ever. Be proud of yourself and keep fighting, even tho its hell sometimes. You are doing great job, dont lie to yourself, to Jil, speak up when something feels wrong. And remember, relaps is part of the journey, so speak up immediately if something is wrong and you feel weak, its totally okay, its understandable, there is nothing to be ashamed of, just tell the truth, just be brave.
So glad to see YOU and happy you’re on the upswing. You don’t owe us anything or need to apologize, just take care of yourself.
Wow what a brutally honest video! So glad to hear you are better now and your wife is still with you. When you talked about what she did for you, tears started rolling. Stay strong!
Oh and the ’drug addict’ stereotype is generally true, obviously noone is immune from it and many high profile and well functioning addicts exist, but I think because you went to a good private rehab is why you did not see the most common types. Plus those types rarely make it to rehab, let alone a private one.
MIles!!! Im so happy to see your face!!!! YOu look great!! I know I dont know you personally but ive followed you for a long time but I want to say......Im so very proud of you. Like truly proud of you. I divorced my ex over addiction. It ruined our marriage. I just had to let go because he didnt want to do the work to fix it. Seeing you you in past videos I knew in my soul something was happening. But to see you now makes me so happy. I also have dealt with issues with pain killers. I have a back injury where at one point I lived on the floor. I literally thought I was going to die. Pain is so awful. I am so glad you got help. I missed that face!!!! I will continue to pray for you and your recovery journey. I am so glad you and Jil are still together and love each other. Please know we love you as your RUclips fam!! Hugs to you and best wishes in your healing! xoxoxox
Coming from a red blooded American man, your audience isn’t just girls. Men are out here being inspired by you, just wanted you to know that.
🙌
Hi Miles, it's Joey from PBD. Long time subscriber here. This video is raw, honest and compelling. I could not stop watching. I am so glad you got the help you needed and I am thrilled that Jil stood by you. I love the two of you together and knowing she was there by your side makes me feel that you are going to be ok and that you will use this to make you stronger than you have ever been. Welcome back and I appreciate everything you said in this video. I think your subscribers are very special people who are with you all the way, no matter how many times you fall and get back up. It takes a lot to say what you just said. Bravo!
Your videos are refreshing as you speak from the heart. I'm sorry you were suffering. Happy to see you back. You express yourself so well it's important for so many to see this video as I imagine so many went and are going thru this.
thank you so much ❤ means a lot
I am in recovery too from a breakdown last year and relate to your healing journey so so much. I am so happy you are getting the help you deserve and that you are back in control. I am glad that you had Jil for support, the power of love is so therapeutic and you couldn’t have a better partner to be by your side ❤️
Thank you for your honesty. Sending love to you and Jil❤️
You're an amazing human and we all love you ❣️
You have the spirit of a warrior and YOU WILL BE HEALED HEALTHY AND WHOLE in all you do! What you have done and been thru is just another sign of the real true raw and vulnerable person man you are. This video made me emotional I could feel you thru the screen. I saw my Dad be an addict for many years and he got clean and went thru years of therapy. You have the perseverance to make it thru and stay in the light 🕯️☄️☄️☄️☄️ May your angels 😇 continue to guide and protect you always dear friend 🌸💚 sending peace strength and love to you your love and your family 🙏🏼
It's so good to see you looking healthy, hope you are able to find an actual cure for the stomach pain and heal ✨💚🌟 Thank you for being brave enough to talk about your experience, it will help so many going through similar situations. Also loads of love to Jill for standing by you, she's treasure ✨
Number one thing is that you are happy and healthy and very glad you are okay. Sometimes life before youtube needs to take precedent (especially in such cases as this) and I'm glad you're recovering and healthy. I totally agree with you with past trauma and addiction. For some people it's alcohol...food... etc. Hope you can continue your healing with this too.
I’m so glad to see you back and looking really well! Honestly you didn’t have to share such a personal experience with the internet, I never expected an explanation of where you went, but respect you so much for talking about this! It just goes to show you really don’t know what someone’s going through and it’s important for people to know that no one is exempt when it comes to addiction, it can happen to anyone!
Sending love to you and Jil 💜
Did the nerve pain go away? Are you doing anything to manage the pain now (that isn't a substance)? Glad to see you back, grateful for your honesty.
I’ll be honest, i stopped watching you because I felt the genuine side of you was gone. I’m so sorry to hear what you went through and am so happy to hear you’re better 🙏🙏