INTJs know we have feelings for someone when we have the desire to reach out first and invite them to join us in something, we only do that for certain people that we care about.
My theory is ENFP delivers emotions in a mysterious way so they reach out an INTJ. Imagine INTJ as a radar which is terrible at capturing emotions but somehow, by magic, ENFP emotional frequency is crystal clear to them.
100%..... One of the aspects that has always been difficult for me is how often my actions are almost always misunderstood. Including by my own family.
How relationships fall apart for an INTJ is that we will let our other be whoever they are. Encouraging her/him to do so. If that person who she needs to be is bigger than anything we are together then it sepperates with time. So yeah we encourage you till you outgrow us. We will never stop you from doing what you want. If you are happiest without us then it's what will happen.
Disclaimer: A weird comment, possibly, by an INTJ non-weirdo in my 50s and married to an ENFP. I found a connection with Amber and was comforted by and connected to her intellect and light, happy nature. Concerning my wife, who I met in high school, what first caught my attention was seeing her down the hallways always smiling and drawing people in. She was interesting to me, almost from a distanced analytical standpoint. I wasn't always so demonstrably happy and kind, which kind of drew me in as those traits aren't as strong in my wiring. She, an ENFP, was how I hoped others in the world would be: happy, positive, full of ideas, and inherently good. There's balance between an ENFPs active mind and our (INTJ) innate ability to to listen and ask probing questions, which draws out even more creativity from the ENFPs. Anyway, there's a balance that's tough to articulate. Active deep minds are drawn toward happy active minds.
Omg... When she said people usually only see PIECES of an ENFP and believe they have the full picture but they don't and we won't give most people all of us BUT to be able to trust a partner like the INTJ (or INFJ) with the WHOLE of an ENFP is amazing. I fear showing anyone all of me because I am a deep well of both thoughts and feelings but so are INTJ's so I love that for both of us.
Weird, dark, magnet...yeah...that line sums us up. As an INTJ we keep our emotions in check because we give them a high value. We want to make sure we use our emotions sparingly.
INTJs and their schedule :D That is what I tell myself as well. If he's talking to me almost daily, finding cool places to hang out and eat on a weekend, pointing out food that he knows I like. I am certain I am important.
Im ENFP with a INTJ boyfriend: LOVE HIM!! he is always aware, and “solving my life” he wants to be a better person and that includes our relationship: we make plans, exercise together, study together talk and theorize about everything (politics, life, philosophy, movies) we both are programmers and im delighted about his competence while he seams to be quite amused with my ideas to innovate. And maybe it is a cultural thing (we are mexicans living in mexico) but he is very physical and positive about showing affection. It is incredible how we know what the other thinks and how we both appreciate transparency. Also, last time we were about to fight i stopped us and said “hey we are two tired people having an stupid fight because we are tired” we looked at each other and started to laugh. Maybe other personality would be like “hey be serious about my concerns” but i like that he is able to step away. Its a great combination, i would even recommend to actively look for it. We are very happy and when we are not we schedule a “hard talk” in our Jira (we use jira for our projects) and solve it systematically. He gives so much structure and security to my life. We have a phrase “we can solve everything with intelligence and grace”. ENFP LOVE you INTJs because you are absolutely perfect for us!! (Yet i have to clarify that me matched because we have common values, common careers,and we both go to therapy just for self improvement, so… there are other factors behind) (✨🔥🤖🦄🔥✨
As en ENFP with an INTJ partner, I definitely agree with Keirsey's golden pain. Also agree with the INFJ part! They're more like best friend material for me as an ENFP
As a INTJ guy, I have been looking for INTJ ladies or similar personality types. So far none of those have worked out. Now I am interesting in being in a relationship with a ENFP or similar personality.
@@league_confederate_anton Depends on the INFP - INFP's are made up of different individuals. You can't label them all off your experience with one! Healthy vs unhealthy INFP's are completely different people and in my experience they are extremely affectionate as long as they trust you.
Omg, I can't describe in words how mature and amazing you are Amber! I'm an Enfp male. The fact that when you are talking about him and still smiling and the fact that you never said anything bad about him the whole interview, just shows how mature you are and how beautiful the break up was. This is the most beautiful story ever! If there will be a movie about it, I will definitely do anything to watch it! Wow wow wow! Such an amazing story And I'm pretty sure that he would have said the same thing about you. It is only your story that made me realize how unique the relationship between INTJs and ENFPs! Thank you so much for sharing your story and of course thanks a lot Juliette for making the video!!
I’m an INTJ, and I have been spiraling over a past relationship that started and ended during this ‘pandemic’, roughly six-months. She’s much more extroverted than I am, so I saw a lot of struggle in her heart by not being able to satisfy her own need for uncertainty, i.e. novelty and new experiences. Where as I was able to read Walden three times during our relationship, so one can see how much I love me some alone time 😏. I still think of her every morning, but instead of spending the first hour of my day making the mental decisions of how I was going to approach her for the next 12-18 hours, emotionally, physically, digitally... going over her schedule for the day I kept in my head and how to respond to her texts she had sent me before waking up. I now have to spend the first few minutes after waking up to come to the realization that I will not have that normal correspondence waiting for me on my phone, and then for the remainder of that initial hour... man that hour..: trying not to cry... trying to tell myself how wonderful she was, however that is no longer something I share a boundary with as she is was-no-longer in my life... try not to cry from that realization... hate myself for a bit for not giving her the seven poems I wrote where she was my muse... try not to cry... think of how unlike myself I am acting, that this mental version of me doesn’t share the behavioral elements I’m used to, and that regulation will do two things, first, help me reach the equilibrium of subjective and object space I normally dwell in to focus and get on with my life, secondly, she would then no longer be that stable column of reassurance I had been longing for in the back of my mind for the rest of the day after that first hour and until I go back to sleep. P.S. It’s been three and a half months since we broke up. The life of an INTJ isn’t as great as many think it is, it comes with a very quick to shift processing of personal struggle then back to the challenges that humanity thinks they have control over then back to the overall failure of the current mentality of humankind and only then to my own personal behavior challenges once in a relationship that I romanced the f*** out of and still presented myself as one classy, dude, who has perfected the art of dad jokes and making my social anxiety work for me and not against me. Damnit... I want her back but don’t have enough whiteboard space to draft the outline to do so.
To all you people who criticize INTJ's for not being more open: THIS is why we aren't. Because we KNOW that only the people we are open with can hurt us this bad. We want relationships, but it's not always worth the risk. You want us to be reckless with our emotions, but you won't be there if we crash and burn.
You don't need whiteboard space - just call her. INTJ's waste life away while trying to construct a perfect plan while the sands of the hour glass pour away. It may work for business and other logical endeavours but love doesn't work like that. Call her. What is the worst that could happen?
My spouse is an ENFP and I'm an INTJ. 😂 And yes, my ENFP spouse's light-hearted nature and optimism attracted me the most. But I did have a lot of stress due to our differences but then we learned to synergize now. It's been an enriching life since and I couldn't be more grateful.❤
Aaaaaah I love this story so much and as an ENFP I'm here dreaming about they coming together again! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm here cause I found an INTJ at random and omg I'm already in love with him haha It's like everything flows so naturaly between us, it's just like Amber said about her and her INTJ. I didn't even knew that ENFP and INTJs were such a good match till I find my INTJ LOL 😆😆😆 I started to talk with him and he said that If I haven't, he would never start talking to me and I'm sooo glad I did it! I love what Amber said about INTJs being the dark and the ENFPs being the light, and both of them coming together so perfectly makes me go like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS AND I WANT TO MEET MY INTJ PERSONALLY SO BAD CAUSE WE MET EACH OTHER THROUGH THE INTERNET AND WE HAVE THE LONGEST CONVERSATIONS ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LOVE EXISTS!!! Thank you so much for this video!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The reason why INTJs take longer to get to it. Is simple. We love completely. We take nothing for granted and check ourselves. Keep what we thought we seen as cues in check. Everything the other person does is memorized. In simple he doesn't like you only if he says so. Let him be the one to overthink it. We are simple in our actions... eventually.
Woah, is NO ONE going to point out that they look identical?? I spent the first two minutes of the video trying to figure out if they were twins or something!
Thank you for video! Please continue to make post more content. As an INTJ, I don't know if I feel happy or unbelievably sad about your guest. Few people will have the chance to have the kind of relationship Amber described. Does the hope the becoming a Hollywood actress outweigh the rewards of being one of "those couples"? It's not that I don't think she will achieve her dreams. With enough work and perseverance, almost anything is possible. But how many times can one realistically expect to catch lightning in a bottle?
The best person I've met is an INTJ. We broke out only because our goals don't match. It was a quick and peaceful breakup, and we are still friends today.
ENFP and INFJ = high social compatibility and not sexual/romantic compatibility. People need to understand this when they say ENFP and INFJ is the best compatibility.
@Has Goodles I am sorry you are having a rough go at life currently. If my statement triggered you, you may consider working on your Fi a bit as it is showing obvious signs of weakness and immaturity.
@Has Goodles Aww thank you for caring, but we live in the same city, just different circles. We've been together almost a year now on March 9th😁. He's a Gemini, I'm a Sagittarius, also very compatible. Chinese Zodiac he's my YANG metal monkey to my YING water pig, also compatible. Like I said pure luck😁.
I am an enfp and problem is that everyone assume I am taken when they first meet me through a friend or something like they would assume I am taken cause I am just close to everybody and the person sees me with another person and thinks we are in relationship when we are not... Or they would just go how are you not in relationship,,cause I just want to be single
4:20 If he is anything like me(also an INTJ) in this regard, then I think that the back and forth may have been because it can be hard to be open about your feelings if you don’t know their reciprocated. So you say little hints like that hoping that the other people with confirm their feelings but also saying the others things like he said as a way to ensure you don’t bear your heart only for it to get ripped out.
@@birdy2095 Oh I see. Best city in the world! And it's about TIME we got local matches! I quit using the app almost as soon as I began because all my matches were thousands of miles away. I'm going to start using it again thank you :) -INTJ
Yes, Paris is the best! Thank you for giving us another chance now that the algorithm has been updated to include local matches. (It is currently still being reviewed by the app stores and should be ready in a few hours, sorry about the delay)
I probably won't get into any relationship with her. Once i get to know her career incompatibility and long term prospects. That would have been established early on. I don't get why he still tried even though it wouldn't have worked. Maybe its a French thing. #INTJ
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Sneaking [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ILUps2zDFU/mqdefault.jpg)
“ENFPs see INTJs heart and INTJs see ENFPs brain.” I think that’s very true.
Wtf 😒
INTJs know we have feelings for someone when we have the desire to reach out first and invite them to join us in something, we only do that for certain people that we care about.
My theory is ENFP delivers emotions in a mysterious way so they reach out an INTJ. Imagine INTJ as a radar which is terrible at capturing emotions but somehow, by magic, ENFP emotional frequency is crystal clear to them.
I think for INTJs love is mostly about understanding and being understood.
100%..... One of the aspects that has always been difficult for me is how often my actions are almost always misunderstood. Including by my own family.
As an INTJ yes.
Yes, like understanding a show of love might be helping you solve a problem.
I have been married 41 years to my ENFP wife. She is my best friend and my perfect life partner.
How relationships fall apart for an INTJ is that we will let our other be whoever they are. Encouraging her/him to do so. If that person who she needs to be is bigger than anything we are together then it sepperates with time. So yeah we encourage you till you outgrow us. We will never stop you from doing what you want. If you are happiest without us then it's what will happen.
:((
So effin factual..we give enough rope to see what kinda knot you tie!!🤨
Disclaimer: A weird comment, possibly, by an INTJ non-weirdo in my 50s and married to an ENFP. I found a connection with Amber and was comforted by and connected to her intellect and light, happy nature. Concerning my wife, who I met in high school, what first caught my attention was seeing her down the hallways always smiling and drawing people in. She was interesting to me, almost from a distanced analytical standpoint. I wasn't always so demonstrably happy and kind, which kind of drew me in as those traits aren't as strong in my wiring. She, an ENFP, was how I hoped others in the world would be: happy, positive, full of ideas, and inherently good. There's balance between an ENFPs active mind and our (INTJ) innate ability to to listen and ask probing questions, which draws out even more creativity from the ENFPs. Anyway, there's a balance that's tough to articulate. Active deep minds are drawn toward happy active minds.
Omg... When she said people usually only see PIECES of an ENFP and believe they have the full picture but they don't and we won't give most people all of us BUT to be able to trust a partner like the INTJ (or INFJ) with the WHOLE of an ENFP is amazing. I fear showing anyone all of me because I am a deep well of both thoughts and feelings but so are INTJ's so I love that for both of us.
Weird, dark, magnet...yeah...that line sums us up. As an INTJ we keep our emotions in check because we give them a high value. We want to make sure we use our emotions sparingly.
INTJs and their schedule :D That is what I tell myself as well. If he's talking to me almost daily, finding cool places to hang out and eat on a weekend, pointing out food that he knows I like. I am certain I am important.
Im ENFP with a INTJ boyfriend: LOVE HIM!! he is always aware, and “solving my life” he wants to be a better person and that includes our relationship: we make plans, exercise together, study together talk and theorize about everything (politics, life, philosophy, movies) we both are programmers and im delighted about his competence while he seams to be quite amused with my ideas to innovate. And maybe it is a cultural thing (we are mexicans living in mexico) but he is very physical and positive about showing affection. It is incredible how we know what the other thinks and how we both appreciate transparency.
Also, last time we were about to fight i stopped us and said “hey we are two tired people having an stupid fight because we are tired” we looked at each other and started to laugh. Maybe other personality would be like “hey be serious about my concerns” but i like that he is able to step away.
Its a great combination, i would even recommend to actively look for it. We are very happy and when we are not we schedule a “hard talk” in our Jira (we use jira for our projects) and solve it systematically. He gives so much structure and security to my life. We have a phrase “we can solve everything with intelligence and grace”. ENFP LOVE you INTJs because you are absolutely perfect for us!! (Yet i have to clarify that me matched because we have common values, common careers,and we both go to therapy just for self improvement, so… there are other factors behind) (✨🔥🤖🦄🔥✨
Uhmmmm did you copy and paste this across chats @carmenm8521. You must really love your INTJ boyfriend
Wow, that was beautiful. I'm an INTJ female and always wanted to meet ENFP man. None of them in my circle though
Maybe you can find one on Birdy 😉
Really? There are plenty of us around. 👍
Go to your local poetry club. The loudest dude in it is probably an ENFP. We are loud in small groups but quiet in big groups.
As en ENFP with an INTJ partner, I definitely agree with Keirsey's golden pain. Also agree with the INFJ part! They're more like best friend material for me as an ENFP
As a INTJ guy, I have been looking for INTJ ladies or similar personality types. So far none of those have worked out. Now I am interesting in being in a relationship with a ENFP or similar personality.
Try an INFP - just as amazing but more introverted, which will probably suit you even better :)
@@shellbell8062 I’ll keep that in mind.
@@league_confederate_anton Depends on the INFP - INFP's are made up of different individuals. You can't label them all off your experience with one! Healthy vs unhealthy INFP's are completely different people and in my experience they are extremely affectionate as long as they trust you.
Omg, I can't describe in words how mature and amazing you are Amber!
I'm an Enfp male.
The fact that when you are talking about him and still smiling and the fact that you never said anything bad about him
the whole interview, just shows how mature you are and how beautiful the break up was.
This is the most beautiful story ever! If there will be a movie about it, I will definitely do anything to watch it!
Wow wow wow!
Such an amazing story
And I'm pretty sure that he would have said the same thing about you.
It is only your story that made me realize how unique the relationship between INTJs and ENFPs!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and of course thanks a lot Juliette for making the video!!
I’m an INTJ, and I have been spiraling over a past relationship that started and ended during this ‘pandemic’, roughly six-months. She’s much more extroverted than I am, so I saw a lot of struggle in her heart by not being able to satisfy her own need for uncertainty, i.e. novelty and new experiences. Where as I was able to read Walden three times during our relationship, so one can see how much I love me some alone time 😏.
I still think of her every morning, but instead of spending the first hour of my day making the mental decisions of how I was going to approach her for the next 12-18 hours, emotionally, physically, digitally... going over her schedule for the day I kept in my head and how to respond to her texts she had sent me before waking up.
I now have to spend the first few minutes after waking up to come to the realization that I will not have that normal correspondence waiting for me on my phone, and then for the remainder of that initial hour... man that hour..: trying not to cry... trying to tell myself how wonderful she was, however that is no longer something I share a boundary with as she is was-no-longer in my life... try not to cry from that realization... hate myself for a bit for not giving her the seven poems I wrote where she was my muse... try not to cry... think of how unlike myself I am acting, that this mental version of me doesn’t share the behavioral elements I’m used to, and that regulation will do two things, first, help me reach the equilibrium of subjective and object space I normally dwell in to focus and get on with my life, secondly, she would then no longer be that stable column of reassurance I had been longing for in the back of my mind for the rest of the day after that first hour and until I go back to sleep.
P.S. It’s been three and a half months since we broke up. The life of an INTJ isn’t as great as many think it is, it comes with a very quick to shift processing of personal struggle then back to the challenges that humanity thinks they have control over then back to the overall failure of the current mentality of humankind and only then to my own personal behavior challenges once in a relationship that I romanced the f*** out of and still presented myself as one classy, dude, who has perfected the art of dad jokes and making my social anxiety work for me and not against me. Damnit... I want her back but don’t have enough whiteboard space to draft the outline to do so.
🤗🤗🤗
Why did it end? Who ended it?
Why did you break up?
To all you people who criticize INTJ's for not being more open: THIS is why we aren't. Because we KNOW that only the people we are open with can hurt us this bad. We want relationships, but it's not always worth the risk. You want us to be reckless with our emotions, but you won't be there if we crash and burn.
You don't need whiteboard space - just call her. INTJ's waste life away while trying to construct a perfect plan while the sands of the hour glass pour away. It may work for business and other logical endeavours but love doesn't work like that. Call her. What is the worst that could happen?
My spouse is an ENFP and I'm an INTJ. 😂 And yes, my ENFP spouse's light-hearted nature and optimism attracted me the most. But I did have a lot of stress due to our differences but then we learned to synergize now. It's been an enriching life since and I couldn't be more grateful.❤
Aaaaaah I love this story so much and as an ENFP I'm here dreaming about they coming together again! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm here cause I found an INTJ at random and omg I'm already in love with him haha It's like everything flows so naturaly between us, it's just like Amber said about her and her INTJ. I didn't even knew that ENFP and INTJs were such a good match till I find my INTJ LOL 😆😆😆 I started to talk with him and he said that If I haven't, he would never start talking to me and I'm sooo glad I did it! I love what Amber said about INTJs being the dark and the ENFPs being the light, and both of them coming together so perfectly makes me go like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS AND I WANT TO MEET MY INTJ PERSONALLY SO BAD CAUSE WE MET EACH OTHER THROUGH THE INTERNET AND WE HAVE THE LONGEST CONVERSATIONS ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LOVE EXISTS!!! Thank you so much for this video!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
how is it going with him??!!!
I was looking for birdy the singer s content, i ended up here, I'm an enfp obviously.
OMG! I also feel the friend vibe with INFJ! In fact my bff is INFJ and my boyfriend INTJ
The reason why INTJs take longer to get to it. Is simple. We love completely. We take nothing for granted and check ourselves. Keep what we thought we seen as cues in check. Everything the other person does is memorized. In simple he doesn't like you only if he says so. Let him be the one to overthink it. We are simple in our actions... eventually.
Woah, is NO ONE going to point out that they look identical?? I spent the first two minutes of the video trying to figure out if they were twins or something!
The birth of a nation,
a super power.
Great moments in history.
So heartwarming...Thanks for doing this both of you
Our pleasure, glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for video! Please continue to make post more content. As an INTJ, I don't know if I feel happy or unbelievably sad about your guest. Few people will have the chance to have the kind of relationship Amber described. Does the hope the becoming a Hollywood actress outweigh the rewards of being one of "those couples"?
It's not that I don't think she will achieve her dreams. With enough work and perseverance, almost anything is possible. But how many times can one realistically expect to catch lightning in a bottle?
Thanks for sharing, Amber! It’s fun to hear about this connection (from my perspective as an INTJ).
I hope you and the INTJ will get back together some day 🥲
For sure again. Always wonderful to see you.
The best person I've met is an INTJ. We broke out only because our goals don't match. It was a quick and peaceful breakup, and we are still friends today.
I guess as an INTJ I'mma start looking for an ENFP
A special day, a lovely take away.
Till this video i would have never ever tried an enfp, I've convinced myself intp is a more logical match but your story is so heartwarming ❤
Off-topic but Juliette your skin is goals ~ intj 👩
ENFP and INFJ = high social compatibility and not sexual/romantic compatibility. People need to understand this when they say ENFP and INFJ is the best compatibility.
@Has Goodles I am sorry you are having a rough go at life currently. If my statement triggered you, you may consider working on your Fi a bit as it is showing obvious signs of weakness and immaturity.
@@elypelowski5670 😂
At least the ladies have 's"xual compatibility' with very few men who exhibit the top 5-10% traits of the human gene pool.
Now i have a crush on Amber!
#intj
I'm an Intj female and I met my Enfp male on FB 😂, by pure luck! I was drawn to his picture and I was just curious. I reached out first.
@Has Goodles Aww thank you for caring, but we live in the same city, just different circles. We've been together almost a year now on March 9th😁. He's a Gemini, I'm a Sagittarius, also very compatible. Chinese Zodiac he's my YANG metal monkey to my YING water pig, also compatible. Like I said pure luck😁.
Hmmm... INTJ femal here... I have always fantasized having an ENFP partner
I am an enfp and problem is that everyone assume I am taken when they first meet me through a friend or something like they would assume I am taken cause I am just close to everybody and the person sees me with another person and thinks we are in relationship when we are not... Or they would just go how are you not in relationship,,cause I just want to be single
4:20
If he is anything like me(also an INTJ) in this regard, then I think that the back and forth may have been because it can be hard to be open about your feelings if you don’t know their reciprocated. So you say little hints like that hoping that the other people with confirm their feelings but also saying the others things like he said as a way to ensure you don’t bear your heart only for it to get ripped out.
he was at a party? That is not an INTJ thing. Its the kryptonite of us. Unless we were forced there.
Damn the Fi function. Honestly what good does it do? Lol.
Yes break trust with an INTJ is kryptonite for the relationship. Better to just break up then and there. An INTJ was all in. You broke him.
Jesters of love.
Interesting
I want an ENFP gf T_T
Where are you originally from Birdy Founder?
France, Paris to be exact - the city of love 🥰💜
@@birdy2095 Oh I see. Best city in the world! And it's about TIME we got local matches! I quit using the app almost as soon as I began because all my matches were thousands of miles away. I'm going to start using it again thank you :)
-INTJ
Yes, Paris is the best! Thank you for giving us another chance now that the algorithm has been updated to include local matches. (It is currently still being reviewed by the app stores and should be ready in a few hours, sorry about the delay)
@@birdy2095 You failed to tell your audience which MBTI -you- are
@@Mastermind111111 ESFJ - I'm a Swan 🦢 ✨
Birdy is hard to use
I probably won't get into any relationship with her. Once i get to know her career incompatibility and long term prospects. That would have been established early on. I don't get why he still tried even though it wouldn't have worked. Maybe its a French thing. #INTJ
I would never date an ENFP^^"