11:40 YES!!! I love those positive affirmations you started to replace the poopoo stinkin-thinkin thoughts, with! You are a good person, you are a hard worker, and you are a caring individual. You're also not alone in feeling this way. Many people experience the same after being raised in an environment or with caretakers that pre conditioned them to scan for a sense of safety and security. Keep up the good work in challenging those old ways of thinking!! 👍💖💜💟
None of those apply to me.... anymore. One year ago, I would have said they ALL did! I used to be very much like you; I was a people pleaser too. Having been in trauma informed therapy (history of complex trauma) for the past few years I am now very much like Matt. I still have my compassion and care for others - that is my core 'me' that i will never lose, but I will no longer change myself or neglect my own needs to make someone else feel better, or because of their opinion. I know my values and beliefs strongly now, and have secure boundaries that stop me 'losing me'. If you knew me literally one year ago, I would have to ask someone else to tell me what my favourite colour was! I literally could not give my opinion about anything - at all, and it put me in some very abusive situations. With very grateful support, I have taken back my power and found my voice!
I resonate with nearly every one of these! I have learned so much about myself by engaging in therapy! I think there is a fine line between not caring what others think but also remaining kind and courteous and thinking of others instead of just yourself, because that can be toxic too. But I think that people like us won't go to that extreme because it's not in our nature, haha. One of the things I've heard that reminded me of the pizza thing you mentioned is, "You can be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest peach in the whole world and there still will be someone out there who doesn't like peaches!" I also just wanted to share a technique my therapist taught me. it's an acronym called STUN. S- See the though (Identify what you are feeling) T - Is it true? Is there evidence that it is true? U - Is it useful? N - New Thought (reframing) Hope that helps someone. I am right there with you, Emily, and whoever else is reading this!
Hi Emily, Iv never commited before and started following you recently, i have been binging alot of your video, they are great love what you do. Anyway I really think it is great that you are so aware in the area's of your life where you struggle, and been aware and noticing is the first step in healing through them and developing as a person, I think there is a massive universal healing going on at the moment on the whole planet and now more then ever old patterns and traumas are showing up for us to Heal . im 30 and Iv been doing art my whole life its only this year that i feel capable of actually achieving a career in art , the doubts and fears are still there but they no longer consume me and i no longer believe them, i know they are just patterns i learned early in life from doubtfull teachers and grown ups around me and now i just allow myself to sit with the discomfort knowing it will pass and that its not the truth. i seen from your other video's that you are experince some weird pain symptoms latley that you have never had before, do you ever link this with the emotional stuff? Iv learned down the years that my pain issues and emotional issues are very much linked , i would rccommend looking into the work of dr sarno, and Gabor Mate, you can find some youtube video's on them. there is also a youtube channel called PAIN FREE YOU that goes over this stuff nicely :) Hope i dont seem like really wierd , just some of the stuff is really resonating with me! :D
100% I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). I know it stems from emotional insecurities, past hurts and conditioned thoughts and behaviours. I have healed so much in my life through yoga, moon manifesting and aligning to purpose, following my passion and turning pain in growth. I feel the expression of growing pains describes this well. Deep down a lot of us have a hard time with change. It's jarring, scary or uncomfortable, yet necessary for our soul's evolution, our success, gratitude, personal and professional growth. Trauma lives in the body, acknowledging it is the first step to healing and growing through it. PS I have little to no pain or gut issues these days. I am curious and excited about my business and my passion for bringing more loving kindness and compassion into the world through the divination tools of astrology and tarot. My products I sell out smiles on the faces of the individuals who buy them due to their uplifting affirmations. I am unafraid of discomfort. It is all energy - emotion i.e. energy in motion. Emotion requires movement. Movement fuels our fire and passion. Living my yoga is finding comfort within the discomfort. I know that we need to take leaps of faith to propel ourselves forwards, as we walk by faith not by sight and a rising tide lifts all boats. If I uplift myself through challenges I can do the same for my clients and followers. 💖🙏
I was like this all the time before my doctor put me on anti-anxiety meds. Best thing that has ever happened to me. I still occasionally get stuck in the cycle of "I should have said/done this" analysis paralysis but it truely has been a life changer. I tried for years with therapy to handle it but it wasn't enough. Anxiety can be debilitating to the point where you can't do anything because you are stuck in your own head.
I run a small handmade business part time. For the rest of the time I work as counsellor, but I do this too, all of them. We are all human and as much as I have moved forward, attended my own needs in therapy it's a lifelong process. So I hope this is reassuring that sometimes it is who we are and that's ok. Always good to challenge ourselves and try and grow and change but its also ok to be ourselves. Look up imposter syndrome. It's usually the more capable and successful people who feel it rather than those who are arrogant about knowing it all.
Hi Emily! This video was so fantastic! I just found your channel a week or so ago. I've been slightly binge watching your videos and I just want to say you have a fabulous personality and your art is so pretty! I really love how you just tell things how you see and you don't dance around the point! Some of the points you chatted about in this video really resonated with me. I've gone through ebbs and flows with most of the list. I'm currently working on getting back to proper boundaries, remembering that "No." is a complete sentence, and the only person's opinion who matters is my own! Sometimes I worry about that unfollow or whatnot, but then I remember I'm allowed to have my own opinions and not everyone is going to like them. And thats okay, because they aren't my people. Thanks for putting such a great discussion video out there! 💙
I feel like there is an acceptable level of these things in all of us... I grew up in a not so nice home environment.. Sorry was my go to wether I did it or not to keep peace... Im 45 now and it took me having it out with an old boss of mine to break the cycle. Literally caused me physical illness.. What other people think or say about us isnt our business unless they tell us... thats a whole other conversation... Be solid in your decisions and what feels right.. If it aint broke dont rebuild it! i.e. just do you and let everyone else do them. Being in the medical field as I am, those things are difficult at times to remember... P.S. I dont like pizza much lmao💜💜💜🤣🤣😊😉😀
I say "sorry" so much that when I read books I get annoyed that the characters didn't say sorry even when it's obviously not needed. Also me and my husband are the same I am so much like you and Matt is like my Mark haha. We been together for 14 years. He chills me out. I always said I could never be with someone like me because we would stress each other out too much.
I totally feel this. It is hard to balance that you need people to like what you do in order to make sales but that everyone doesn’t have to like what you do.
This was very motivational. Im.not everything on the list but I am some things on the list so it's good to know I am not the only one who feels this way. Even people I look up to like you feel this way makes me feel less alone. Thank you for this chatty video.
Nodded along with allllll of this! I think especially in the UK, we're taught to be extra considerate towards others, because it's polite (and don't get me started on socialisation of women vs men! 😂). I know I constantly struggle with worrying about what other people think. I'm better than I was, but it still creeps out, especially if my MH isn't doing so well. I have learned how to say NO though, mostly because I'd rather say it straight up at the start than end up cancelling last minute, which used to be my norm - oh the guilt I carried around for doing that! Also, the pizza analogy was spot on! :D Also, you can like pizza, but only certain toppings... just like enjoying an art type, but not all art styles, and that's totally valid n normal too. (has anyone started the pineapple on pizza argument yet? 😂)
I really loved this video, and I’ve been following your channel for so long now all I can say is that your channel is one of my favorites. It’s both inspiring and entertaining to watch. No matter what it is, I know I’ll like it 😂 So doing these kinds of videos is a huge plus. Thank you, and the best part is that you always upload when I need it. XD
Hi Emily! That was a fab video and I could resonate a lot! I am certainly trying to work on my boundaries but as a worrier it isn’t easy! Just want to say I love your channel - my art I always kept hidden in case people thought it was rubbish but since joining your patreon and following you I am learning to be proud of what I create and even selling my art in my shop alongside the yarn we sell 😁 xx
Wow, thank you for sharing this. I run a small shop via whatsapp and one of my things is to let new people know that I will not be offended when / if they leave the group, but I still find myself hurt and taken aback when I see someone leaving. I've had to tell myself that maybe they don't need what I sell and/or their lives have taken a different turn and my messages are distracting to them. If they want to come back, I will welcome them back. Previously my first instinct was to immediately block them, only to realise that it has no effect on their lives. Thank you thank you for sharing this.
Such a lovely video for us all!! I've been a professional artist for over a decade and I'm opening my Patreon finally, and I've worried about everything you've mentioned. Thank you for your kindness, vulnerability and insight. It is making a difference!!! 💕
If there has ever a more relatable video I haven’t seen it 😂 It’s literally my life. This is so good to talk about. ❤ Thank you for making this video. Takes guts to talk about it! X
Emily when did you get your elephant made into a plushy! 😲😍 Am I seeing that right? Maybe I missed something I love chatty videos I just play them in the background ❤️ hope your doing well look after yourself! I would love to hear you talking about being a mum and balancing it all (honestly it's such an inspiration to me) now that I've had my own little one I've disappeared from social media and put my business on hold for now 🫤 it's so so hard and I don't know how you do it all 😘 keep it up em love your content ❤️
I think I've improved a lot when it comes to my boundaries, but when it comes to my creative work (which is very personal), when I get one point of criticism I completely shut down, although I see myself as a very confident person 😅 Thanks for being so honest in this video! Also I'm usually embarassed about something I did or said (I don't have a filter), but then I think about the fact that people are mainly busy with themselves and forget about my failures hahaha
I think the social media issue you mention, with people who you've hand good conversations with...and then you notice later they've unfollowed....I think that has more to do with the fact that the algorithms force us to post too much (even daily is too much for the average person) and that leads to fatigue of seeing certain types of content/creators on the views end. Those people probably also know they aren't going to purchase from you. When people feel overwhelmed, they streamline who they follow. At a later date, they might see you and re-follow. I highly doubt you've offended anyone...to get them to unfollow.
This video is SO needed. So many of us are in a very similar situation. I think it comes with the territory of being an artist. I get utterly crippled by anxiety when it comes to 'putting myself out there'. Self-doubt is my biggest problem. For example, and this is no exaggeration. I have designed, embroidered, and stitched together over 500 book/planner sleeves. I have over 3.5 thousand (!) hair scrunchies. I have hundreds of other items I have made and guess what? It's all sitting in plastic storage tubs. I'm doing nothing with them. I wanted to sell them. But, how my brain works is this; I'm a success to myself because I've made them. If I put them up for sale and they don't sell, then I've failed overall. I can't seem to get my brain to work any other way. I'm petrified that I'm not perfect, that others will see that my items are not perfect. I'm a people pleaser and if they don't like what I do, I'm failing... Right out of the box. I know I can't please everyone and judging myself the way I do, I know it's not healthy. It's just something I've got to work on. Jeez, now this sounds like a therapy session, sorry. Thank you so much for this video. In a way, it's horrible to say that I'm glad I'm not the only one like this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone who's trying to make a go of it. Thanks again xxx
11:40 YES!!! I love those positive affirmations you started to replace the poopoo stinkin-thinkin thoughts, with! You are a good person, you are a hard worker, and you are a caring individual. You're also not alone in feeling this way. Many people experience the same after being raised in an environment or with caretakers that pre conditioned them to scan for a sense of safety and security. Keep up the good work in challenging those old ways of thinking!! 👍💖💜💟
None of those apply to me.... anymore. One year ago, I would have said they ALL did!
I used to be very much like you; I was a people pleaser too. Having been in trauma informed therapy (history of complex trauma) for the past few years I am now very much like Matt. I still have my compassion and care for others - that is my core 'me' that i will never lose, but I will no longer change myself or neglect my own needs to make someone else feel better, or because of their opinion. I know my values and beliefs strongly now, and have secure boundaries that stop me 'losing me'.
If you knew me literally one year ago, I would have to ask someone else to tell me what my favourite colour was! I literally could not give my opinion about anything - at all, and it put me in some very abusive situations. With very grateful support, I have taken back my power and found my voice!
Emily, I couldn’t love this more!!! ESPECIALLY the pizza analogy, that was gold 😂😂🍕🫶 I think you are pizza too xx
I resonate with nearly every one of these! I have learned so much about myself by engaging in therapy! I think there is a fine line between not caring what others think but also remaining kind and courteous and thinking of others instead of just yourself, because that can be toxic too. But I think that people like us won't go to that extreme because it's not in our nature, haha. One of the things I've heard that reminded me of the pizza thing you mentioned is, "You can be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest peach in the whole world and there still will be someone out there who doesn't like peaches!" I also just wanted to share a technique my therapist taught me. it's an acronym called STUN. S- See the though (Identify what you are feeling) T - Is it true? Is there evidence that it is true? U - Is it useful? N - New Thought (reframing)
Hope that helps someone. I am right there with you, Emily, and whoever else is reading this!
Hi Emily, Iv never commited before and started following you recently, i have been binging alot of your video, they are great love what you do. Anyway I really think it is great that you are so aware in the area's of your life where you struggle, and been aware and noticing is the first step in healing through them and developing as a person, I think there is a massive universal healing going on at the moment on the whole planet and now more then ever old patterns and traumas are showing up for us to Heal . im 30 and Iv been doing art my whole life its only this year that i feel capable of actually achieving a career in art , the doubts and fears are still there but they no longer consume me and i no longer believe them, i know they are just patterns i learned early in life from doubtfull teachers and grown ups around me and now i just allow myself to sit with the discomfort knowing it will pass and that its not the truth.
i seen from your other video's that you are experince some weird pain symptoms latley that you have never had before, do you ever link this with the emotional stuff? Iv learned down the years that my pain issues and emotional issues are very much linked , i would rccommend looking into the work of dr sarno, and Gabor Mate, you can find some youtube video's on them. there is also a youtube channel called PAIN FREE YOU that goes over this stuff nicely :) Hope i dont seem like really wierd , just some of the stuff is really resonating with me! :D
100% I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). I know it stems from emotional insecurities, past hurts and conditioned thoughts and behaviours. I have healed so much in my life through yoga, moon manifesting and aligning to purpose, following my passion and turning pain in growth. I feel the expression of growing pains describes this well. Deep down a lot of us have a hard time with change. It's jarring, scary or uncomfortable, yet necessary for our soul's evolution, our success, gratitude, personal and professional growth. Trauma lives in the body, acknowledging it is the first step to healing and growing through it. PS I have little to no pain or gut issues these days. I am curious and excited about my business and my passion for bringing more loving kindness and compassion into the world through the divination tools of astrology and tarot. My products I sell out smiles on the faces of the individuals who buy them due to their uplifting affirmations. I am unafraid of discomfort. It is all energy - emotion i.e. energy in motion. Emotion requires movement. Movement fuels our fire and passion. Living my yoga is finding comfort within the discomfort. I know that we need to take leaps of faith to propel ourselves forwards, as we walk by faith not by sight and a rising tide lifts all boats. If I uplift myself through challenges I can do the same for my clients and followers. 💖🙏
I was like this all the time before my doctor put me on anti-anxiety meds. Best thing that has ever happened to me. I still occasionally get stuck in the cycle of "I should have said/done this" analysis paralysis but it truely has been a life changer. I tried for years with therapy to handle it but it wasn't enough. Anxiety can be debilitating to the point where you can't do anything because you are stuck in your own head.
I run a small handmade business part time. For the rest of the time I work as counsellor, but I do this too, all of them. We are all human and as much as I have moved forward, attended my own needs in therapy it's a lifelong process. So I hope this is reassuring that sometimes it is who we are and that's ok. Always good to challenge ourselves and try and grow and change but its also ok to be ourselves. Look up imposter syndrome. It's usually the more capable and successful people who feel it rather than those who are arrogant about knowing it all.
Hi Emily! This video was so fantastic! I just found your channel a week or so ago. I've been slightly binge watching your videos and I just want to say you have a fabulous personality and your art is so pretty! I really love how you just tell things how you see and you don't dance around the point!
Some of the points you chatted about in this video really resonated with me. I've gone through ebbs and flows with most of the list. I'm currently working on getting back to proper boundaries, remembering that "No." is a complete sentence, and the only person's opinion who matters is my own! Sometimes I worry about that unfollow or whatnot, but then I remember I'm allowed to have my own opinions and not everyone is going to like them. And thats okay, because they aren't my people.
Thanks for putting such a great discussion video out there! 💙
I feel like there is an acceptable level of these things in all of us... I grew up in a not so nice home environment.. Sorry was my go to wether I did it or not to keep peace... Im 45 now and it took me having it out with an old boss of mine to break the cycle. Literally caused me physical illness.. What other people think or say about us isnt our business unless they tell us... thats a whole other conversation... Be solid in your decisions and what feels right.. If it aint broke dont rebuild it! i.e. just do you and let everyone else do them. Being in the medical field as I am, those things are difficult at times to remember... P.S. I dont like pizza much lmao💜💜💜🤣🤣😊😉😀
Lots of this has struck home with me. I must stop thinking what people MIGHT be thinking of me and just be myself.
I say "sorry" so much that when I read books I get annoyed that the characters didn't say sorry even when it's obviously not needed. Also me and my husband are the same I am so much like you and Matt is like my Mark haha. We been together for 14 years. He chills me out. I always said I could never be with someone like me because we would stress each other out too much.
i loved this so much ! please do moreeeee
I totally feel this. It is hard to balance that you need people to like what you do in order to make sales but that everyone doesn’t have to like what you do.
This was very motivational. Im.not everything on the list but I am some things on the list so it's good to know I am not the only one who feels this way. Even people I look up to like you feel this way makes me feel less alone. Thank you for this chatty video.
love the pizza analogy. Good talk. Thank you for sharing.
Nodded along with allllll of this! I think especially in the UK, we're taught to be extra considerate towards others, because it's polite (and don't get me started on socialisation of women vs men! 😂). I know I constantly struggle with worrying about what other people think. I'm better than I was, but it still creeps out, especially if my MH isn't doing so well. I have learned how to say NO though, mostly because I'd rather say it straight up at the start than end up cancelling last minute, which used to be my norm - oh the guilt I carried around for doing that! Also, the pizza analogy was spot on! :D Also, you can like pizza, but only certain toppings... just like enjoying an art type, but not all art styles, and that's totally valid n normal too. (has anyone started the pineapple on pizza argument yet? 😂)
I do get worried, but not people pleasing. 😁. But when it comes to self, self doubt is always there.
That was quite an eye opener. I also say sorry all the time. ❤
I really loved this video, and I’ve been following your channel for so long now all I can say is that your channel is one of my favorites. It’s both inspiring and entertaining to watch. No matter what it is, I know I’ll like it 😂 So doing these kinds of videos is a huge plus. Thank you, and the best part is that you always upload when I need it. XD
Hi Emily! That was a fab video and I could resonate a lot! I am certainly trying to work on my boundaries but as a worrier it isn’t easy! Just want to say I love your channel - my art I always kept hidden in case people thought it was rubbish but since joining your patreon and following you I am learning to be proud of what I create and even selling my art in my shop alongside the yarn we sell 😁 xx
Thanks Emily 😊This resonated so much with me.
Thank you so much! Timely insights and well said 👏
Can you talk about how you research for Product vendors and would like to see a updated studio tour
I love this video so much and I needed to hear this video so much. Thank you xxxx
Love this style of video! 💓
Wow, thank you for sharing this. I run a small shop via whatsapp and one of my things is to let new people know that I will not be offended when / if they leave the group, but I still find myself hurt and taken aback when I see someone leaving. I've had to tell myself that maybe they don't need what I sell and/or their lives have taken a different turn and my messages are distracting to them. If they want to come back, I will welcome them back. Previously my first instinct was to immediately block them, only to realise that it has no effect on their lives. Thank you thank you for sharing this.
Definitely resonated with some of these! I will need to work on those haha But do not feel alone! We all experience these at some point!
Such a lovely video for us all!! I've been a professional artist for over a decade and I'm opening my Patreon finally, and I've worried about everything you've mentioned. Thank you for your kindness, vulnerability and insight. It is making a difference!!! 💕
If there has ever a more relatable video I haven’t seen it 😂 It’s literally my life. This is so good to talk about. ❤ Thank you for making this video. Takes guts to talk about it! X
Oh my gosh I swear we are twins!! 😅
Emily when did you get your elephant made into a plushy! 😲😍 Am I seeing that right? Maybe I missed something
I love chatty videos I just play them in the background ❤️ hope your doing well look after yourself!
I would love to hear you talking about being a mum and balancing it all (honestly it's such an inspiration to me) now that I've had my own little one I've disappeared from social media and put my business on hold for now 🫤 it's so so hard and I don't know how you do it all 😘 keep it up em love your content ❤️
I think I've improved a lot when it comes to my boundaries, but when it comes to my creative work (which is very personal), when I get one point of criticism I completely shut down, although I see myself as a very confident person 😅 Thanks for being so honest in this video! Also I'm usually embarassed about something I did or said (I don't have a filter), but then I think about the fact that people are mainly busy with themselves and forget about my failures hahaha
💜💙
I think the social media issue you mention, with people who you've hand good conversations with...and then you notice later they've unfollowed....I think that has more to do with the fact that the algorithms force us to post too much (even daily is too much for the average person) and that leads to fatigue of seeing certain types of content/creators on the views end. Those people probably also know they aren't going to purchase from you. When people feel overwhelmed, they streamline who they follow.
At a later date, they might see you and re-follow. I highly doubt you've offended anyone...to get them to unfollow.
This video is SO needed. So many of us are in a very similar situation. I think it comes with the territory of being an artist. I get utterly crippled by anxiety when it comes to 'putting myself out there'. Self-doubt is my biggest problem. For example, and this is no exaggeration. I have designed, embroidered, and stitched together over 500 book/planner sleeves. I have over 3.5 thousand (!) hair scrunchies. I have hundreds of other items I have made and guess what? It's all sitting in plastic storage tubs. I'm doing nothing with them. I wanted to sell them. But, how my brain works is this; I'm a success to myself because I've made them. If I put them up for sale and they don't sell, then I've failed overall. I can't seem to get my brain to work any other way. I'm petrified that I'm not perfect, that others will see that my items are not perfect. I'm a people pleaser and if they don't like what I do, I'm failing... Right out of the box. I know I can't please everyone and judging myself the way I do, I know it's not healthy. It's just something I've got to work on. Jeez, now this sounds like a therapy session, sorry. Thank you so much for this video. In a way, it's horrible to say that I'm glad I'm not the only one like this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone who's trying to make a go of it. Thanks again xxx