I always saw it as a critique of it. Because you're constantly shown this happening and how much it affects it. It's pointing a finger to it, not saying "this is how it should be done"
Most people, especially young but not only, don't even know who they are, what they want and they don't have established values. They only know what society expects from them (usually based on their sex) and they think following it will make them happy. I see the majority of relationships as pointless in a world like this.
18:40 I love that when Corbin tries to kiss the sleeping Lilu she pulls a gun to his head. She says "Never without my permission." It's a perfect illustration that sleeping women cannot consent. Corbin, in his poorly socialized male way, discovered that something he thought was cute, was actually assault.
Also depends on boundaries. I personally wouldn't mind a small kiss or peck but anything more when I'm asleep is a NO. While other women (and men) would be the opposite and not like it.
@@rainsnowfall220Let’s just also specify the VERY important detail that is: A welcomed kiss in your sleep from your FAMILIAR ROMANTIC PARTNER, not some random stranger.
I'm a girl, but growing up I always related to Schroder. The feeling of wanting to work on your art, but constantly pestered by someone wanting to "love" you.
Can I just say, I’m really tired of the “love at first sight” trope. It feels so shallow to me. You ‘aint loving that person mate. You are infatuated. Love is about building a connection, pretty much a really strong friendship with feelings of romantic attraction and affection on top of it. Case in point, despite what crappy media might make you believe, 2 in 3 couples are born from a friendship, with an average span of 2 years before evolving into a romantic relationship, some of wich even spanning for more than a decade before blooming into love. And guess what? They are the HEALTHIEST ONES as well. There’s more than one study backing this up. That’s how me and my boyfriend got togheter. And as a demisexual is also the only way i can feel attraction even. So I feel even more strongly about this. I need more slow burns thank you very much 🙏❤️
not tryna start anything, buuuut demisexuality just sounds like someone WAITING to give it up until there's a bond and actual commitment. I just don't see how that categorizes as it's own sexual identity. you CAN become SEXUALLY attracted to someone just by looking at them, but not wanting to actually do it until you know 'em is what I'm hearing. (which is good, btw) you got some damn sense, IMO. The whole "love at first sight" is only physical attraction, cuz their looks are the only info you get in that moment. literally impossible to fall in love with someone you don't know.
@@B0BBYJ4CK hi! Sorry if i made a bit of a long text, i hope this clarifies some stuff : ) First of all, I absolutely agree that “love at first sight” isn’t love, and that applies to everyone, since the only information you have of that person is litherally just their appearance. I’m well aware that you Don’t have to be Demisexual to wait until you know someone well, I 100% still would do the same if even if I wasn’t, because like you said, is just good sense really. (Heck, as I mentioned, 2 in 3 people choose to do this, and most of them aren’t demisexual.) “Fully sexual” people can either feel primary sexual attraction from the get go, or secondary attraction after a bond has been created and romantic feelings blossomed like a Demisexual would. They have both options. The main difference is that for me, as a Demisexual, i’m litherally unable to feel said primary attraction to people I don’t know. unless there’s someone I’m really close with, I’m basically Ace. I can only experience that secondary attraction i mentioned. Even when they are super “hot”. I can appreciate their appearance visually as an artist, platonically, but i never got any desire unless we were VERY close. So that’s different from feeling sexual attraction from the get go but choosing to wait, get what I mean? I hope this clarifies stuff : )
Yes and no. In my case I’ve never dated any of my guy friends. Either I was not attracted to them sexually or our life style/ personalities would horribly clash in a romantic context. All of those guy ‘friends’ dropped me when they realized I didn’t want more. So they were playing the ‘friend’ angle to get close to me in hopes of sex or a relationship. Most got pissed and their true colors came out. It was quite hurtful and shocking. So I don’t usually have close male friends anymore.
@@LT-et5rr they say the older you get, the harder it is to have close friendships with the opposite sex. I feel like you CAN have platonic friendship with the OS only if you're not attracted to 'em. I'm kinda in the same boat. I don't think I'd waste my time being 'friends' with a dude that I'm interested in and he's not into me. Chances are, I'm gonna be looking for a shot...if there is one 😂
Romance can be such a toxic genre to tackle, but its also one of the best ones. I often wish that the female and male parings didnt end up togetehr purely foe how awful the characters created can be but in analysis of so many stories it can be a benifit to disect. Unfortunately more often than not people dont look to understand characters deeper than they would otherwise. I feel its somehow connected to the idea that tomance is for women yet the ideas are kind of made to push that women need to be a way. And if it has male attention its also that women need to be a certain way and approached a certain way to guarantee their affection and attention such as buying them things and posturing ect. Still theres a big piece missing in romance genre and thats the woman who isnt conventionally attractive. You have girls with odd personalities and charcters but rarely any that are older and loved, "ugly" and loved, sick and loved if so its unrealistic or included its a joke. Never treated in the same was as the "nice guy" who somehow wins in the end. The irredeemable momster who still miraclously ends up with someone, basic dudes with no personality who get heaps of women. I fogot the otmriginal thoit so i just ranted but also i dont wanna type. Romance is such an interesting genre and like barbie the boy and girl dont have to end up togther. They can exist as individuals no matter how "perfect" they would be together. Summary romance is dumb not in the way of idiotic but fucking crazy. Its ridiculous the pressure for it from birth. Either youre loved by a partner or you're useless and unlovable because thats what the story says. It hurts men and women. I really like the idea of the concept pf someone and falling in love eutg that because thats what a crush is. Its so interesting
shounen anime is guilty for forced romance. 😂 It’s hilarious. Girls and guys can’t be friends. Like Naruto being gaslit into falling in love with Hinata. 😂 Edit: Same with the Shounen Manga Seraph of the end. The main character is doing his best to keep his friendship with the main girl character. He keeps dropping the "Friend" word and she can't take a hint. she literally keeps confessing even though the stakes are high and everyone is thinking about the current issue. He even passed out head in her lap, she said. "Don't leave me again" and he woke up and he literally left her. It like he is not interested at all. Even when his friend says. 'Go be happy, have a family with that girl. She likes you.' he said he'd rather die. But forced romance is real and I know for a fact he is gonna end up with her in the end. Despite all the times he rejected her. He chose his friend, Mika. But it's shounen anime/manga and men and women can't be friends. They'll just end up together and make the story a dumpster fire.
Naruto/Hinata Sasuke/Sakura Those couples are sad to watch(to me). Hinata enables Naruto and doesn't stop him from neglecting his family (the very thing he yearned for, since he grew up alone). She is too subservent to him. He needs somebody who will help him at work. Remind him to come home. Sakura is again too subservient to Sasuke. She is neglected and raised their child alone for years. And she is not even resentful when he comes back. (Sasuke is catching up right now so more power to him. But still) Sasuke needs somebody who is as independant as he is. Somebody who enjoys being alone and enjoy when they meet. I feel that All 4 of them deserved more compatible partners. Hinata needs somebody affectionate that will actually pay attention to her. And help her to feel confident. To let her personality out. Someone she won't constantly people-please. Sakura I don't know. Someone who appreciate her fire and is here often.
@@eureka2694 Tbh, Naruto and Sakura should have gotten together, hell. Sakura and Lee would have been perfect because he would have treated her like a queen and wouldn't have let her raise their kid alone. They would have been two strong willed parents which would be awesome. Same with Naruto. Naruto wouldn't have left her like that. As for naruto and hinata. That ship grinds my gears because she stalked him for most of the series. Only confessed after she was dribbled like a basket ball by pain and then back to stalking and being owo cute anime girl. She only got screen time because her boobs grew. Honestly, it should have been her to sacrifice herself instead of Neji, Im sorry. Had to say it. She is such a bland character. And even if she didn't sacrifice herself she should have been with Kiba. Because they grew together, they know each other more than everyone and he would have taken care of her too. If they actually threw away their childhood crushes and went for guys who actually cared abut them, the story would have made sense and gave them a happy ending.
Great discussion! I enjoyed your insightful takes. Well worth the time. One thing to note editing wise, I totally felt it improve as the cuts slowed down and you just got on with your storytelling. The beginning felt like it could be cut together just a touch slower. I think you even cut off your own audio at one point. Precious seconds that could make your next video better. The better editing is, the less anyone realises it exists. Excluding those hilarious wtf interruptive moments. (They also need to have enough seconds screen time.) No shade though. You've done a heck of a lot of work and time spent putting this together, OMG. Added this to my psychology playlist, it's that insightful. I am editing my story so this added an extra thought in my head for when I get to the part where MC meets the damsel in distress. On edits you ask yourself about how much you need to push the weight of certain [character] factoids. How much do I really need to push X? This video assures me: not much! I had it right my first take. The question came because I know some people get irritated when you never declare your character's labels and only imply them. "Erasure" is their point. You remind me that the counterpoint to their argument is accessibility. If the reader subs in the authorial intent, I should be happy that they enjoyed it that much as to make it their own. That will happen much better for my imaginary target audience without labels. Note to self: stay subtle! Min labels, max cypher, add more juice. Let's go! Sometimes the YT AI gives me videos I actually need. This has been one of them. Thanks for the discussion. I will definitely be checking out your other videos!
That's...an interesting analysis of Urusei Yatsura? Like, I do feel bad for Lum, but I think the show does make it apparent that she's also kinda crazy. Ataru is a scum bag, but let's put a normal person in his shoes. You have a girlfriend that you're content with, but then all of a sudden due to miscellaneous circumstances you have to marry a royal woman from some foreign country off somewhere. To make matters more complicated she's obsessed with you, won't leave you alone, won't consider your feelings of not wanting to be with her despite constantly saying you're not interested and will still get frustrated when you don't reciprocate her feelings or say you're cheating despite not having a mutual attachment. Urusei Yatsura characters are all equally flawed. It's just Ataru who's put on the biggest spotlight, but the show generally puts everyone on as the butt of the joke. Lum is faaaaar away from being an ideal girl. She is if you want to like her, but what if you don't? You end up in Ataru's situation where she moves into your house, your school, follows you around, messes up your personal relationships and will somehow come out of it looking like the victim. Oh, and Urusei Yatsura is not the originator of the harem genre. Not by a long shot. It was more so a series of shows with love triangles becoming popular and that being played around with for a while. Then you have to throw in visual novels and dating sims into the mix too. Which, around there is where you want to look if you're wondering how we got harem genre at all.
I’m surprised that you didn’t mention Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul ONCE. Jessane made me want to curl up in a ball and cry, and I haven’t seen Better Call Saul yet, but I’ve heard that McWexler is ROUGH.
This is honestly why I vastly prefer queer romance Part of that is definitely because i myself am queer, but also, I can't stand this perception of women And I'd rather miss out on "great works of fiction" in favor of seeing yet another two dimensional woman fall for a painfully average guy. I've seen enough of that. I love shoujo, but I don't love all the tropes that come with it. I'd have to say, if it comes to reading romance manga, girls love is the only option for me, it's got flaws, yes, but it's not burdened with those sexist stereotypes i hate, it's not burdened with the weird fetishism clinging to boys love. There's some insanely good girls love manga, but no one talks about it, gl barely gets adapted into anime either. It's truly unfortunate There's stories to tell that don't get told simply because it's not marketable to men, and straight women.
Hey! Could you recommend some good GL manga? All the ones I find either force romance between two characters that have nothing going on for them or are plain gross. The only one I actually enjoyed was Beging With Your Name but the romance never even started :/
@@Sofia-wh9jr OH MY GOD I WOULD LOVE TO But tell me what you like, soft and fluffy, emotional and almost heartbreaking, Slice of life, Comedy, etc I know several worth reading, but if you don't like unrealistically shoujo romance, or contrary, don't like to read stories that deeply relate to the lesbian experience, there'd be no point in recommending it
@@krussyarts Sorry for answering so late, RUclips didn't show me the notification! I am lesbian myself and would love some realistic slow burn, I don't mind fantasy or scy-fi, but stories based on reality are my favourite :D. Slice of life, soft and fluffy, and drama would be nice!
@@Sofia-wh9jr DEFINITELY read "run away with me girl" It's a realistic romance between two girls who used to date in school, until one of them broke up and went off to marry a man and have kids. In present day the two reunite and it goes from there! The art style is pretty unique and took some getting used to, but it's really good regardless Also, since I'm just beginning my journey of familiarizing myself with more girls love, a friend of mine has a my anime list dedicated to listing and grading girls love manga. If you're interested in that, I can fetch the link for sure
For me a really good lampshades example of this trope is with Mahiru Shiina and Kazui Mukuhara from the anime music webseries/ARG MILGRAM (not to be confused with the actual experiment but it is based on it.) Where Mahiru always had this fantastical idea of love like it’s portrayed in media and became super obsessive and controlling over her boyfriend and she was trying to live out that perfect fantasy. And it led her to becoming abusive without her even knowing it. And with Kazui his story is focused around societal pressures to get into a heteronormative relationship and get married and have kids (especially at an older age). And because of these expectations but not wanting any of this he basically forces himself into an unloving marriage only to accustom himself to those norms and has to lie about everything. I really like how in both of these stories it takes the media’s and society’s portrayal and love and shows just how easily something like that can create toxic relationships and pain and stuff like that.
Hey I just found your channel with this video since I love UY and, even tho I know it's a bit problematic, it's still a very original and nuanced romance in its own way imo, so I was very curious to see what you had you had to say about it Instead I ended up watching the whole video, your editing and humour are spot on! More importantly tho, you brought some nice arguments (and examples too) Subbed ;)
Leaving this comment to boost the algorithm but honestly as a tom-boyish female born being living in an XL body, love the description as "bumpier" being factual but kinder for those who can't get rid of the bumps ((and for those living without bumps, you are still valid, just more flexible than others😅))
Super interesting video👍👍 Do you know Monster and 20th Century Boys by Urasawa? And other of his works? I think they’re some of my favorites. So well written.
The amount of empathy that you showed to women in this video as a man is genuinely impressive, and I really appreciate that. Not alot of men even try to empathize with female characters.
A don't think Lilith is real because as far as a know there doesn't exist someone named lilth in the Bible it's kind like the name lucifer there doesn't exist someone named lucifer in the Bible the name lucifer It appeared in the King James Version of the Bible in Isaiah and before that in the Vulgate (the late-4th-century Latin translation of the Bible), not as the name of a devil but as the Latin word lucifer (uncapitalized), meaning "the morning star", "the planet Venus", or, as an adjective, "light-bringing" so a see lilth as the work of early Christians
10:24 tbf, at this time, it was expected to “work through” any problems. Even something as severe as attempted murder. Because…. Divorce wasn’t legal! So yeah, the way out was killing your partner. . Till your death do us part. So seeing them work through this is “natural” when the alternative is… yeah
City Lights is still one of my faves. Charlie is not my type and this movie is not my thing but I still love it a lot. Sunrise, however, is confusing and strange to me. One of those movies that fallse into the "it's a classic and a lot of people love it but I just dont get it..."
Uk this notion is so well explained nd seen through in so many feminist circles cause that hurt us women nd so their in we examine why? Nd how it happens? From men perspective U can find abt this stuff in feminist circles nd media.... Have fun reading✌
mens value doesn't change when he gets into a relationship. historically it's the woman's value that's based on whether or not she has a husband. men will be fine
@@daphys_computershow2054I would argue than men also struggle with that historically, it’s just not as difficult due to women also having to deal with misogyny on top of it. Men (speaking from the perspective of countries like the UK and Australia since I haven’t got much experience outside of that) were and in many places now are expected to marry a woman and have children to continue the family bloodline, those who fail to comply for whatever reason (such as being queer, not wishing to have kids, uninterested in a relationship at all etc) were ridiculed. None of this downplays the very real blame that gets placed on women for this ofc, more to show how much this model hurts everyone involved
As an ace person I tend to not like romance, but after I got home from watching the Barbie movie, I sort of wished Barbie and Ken end up together in the movie, or at least say that they’re taking a break from each other until they figure each other out until they’re content with themselves. its ironic cause I think the movie was the only one where they don’t romantically end up together, or one of them confesses not to have any feelings for the other. Its also ironic because I never even like Barbie/Ken, because they never had that much personality, but in the movie they were given a personality (or a chance to) have a personality outside of their partners, I think that might be why I like them from the movie specifically. Not that they need to end up together
@@steampunk-llama these are very good points usually people from many sides are not ready to speak about… to me patriarchy is not so much about men rule just because they are men (that would be an androarchy to be precise) but powerful men who historically used coercive tactics to undermine others (men, women, anyone really)… maybe you don’t fancy using the word patriarchy (neither do i to be honest) but yep, everybody gets messed up because of these things in their own particular way ;)
Romance is a base desire. You can say the same about the pressure / obsession our culture has with sex, beauty, eating, protection, belonging, power, etc. Romance is a base desire as much as independence is. Barbie is also disturbing on her own, she just swings to a different side of the pendulum. Maybe think why you are disturbed by Ken being so desperate for a relationship and what that says about you and how you see the world. I personally found Barbie more disturbing than Ken, and I am sure that also says something about me. Art reflects life.
@@jesterdays The dude had a pretty reasonable and well thought out take, most human beings seek romance. Most human beings seek a ideal life. There is no real pressure to focus on romance, it is just something that makes characters easily relatable for most human beings. Now in real life that pressure comes in the form of empathy (my relationship makes me happy, without it I would be sad, you need the same thing) Can you engage with the subject beyond a cringe meme?
three decades of immersion in a media that tells the same story over and over again and only just now after watching your video have I realised that "fairly average man meets Pretty Girl who talks him into taking risks and going on adventures, destroying his safe-yet-boring existence yet giving his life Meaning" is just the Fall From Eden with a coat of paint...
I think the concept of the antihero is largely entirely misunderstood. People always think that having someone taking bad decisions as a protagonist would either somehow glorify those decisions or something like that, when in reality these kinds of shows or books try to shade light on the shades of grey that is human decision making and instead of "justifying" bad decisions it just wants to protray the way people got to make those bad decisions I mean, just look at the controversy around the Netflix show "You" for example with there apparently being some kind of cult thinking Joe would be in the right or something (despite it literally being the point of the show that *he's not*) It feels like people need to project themselves onto protagonists and aren't able to view stories outside of how they personally can relate to them...? So of course antihero protagonists don't make sense to them.
I guess, I was one of few to see that Scott and Ramona were actually the same - flawed, egoistic people who hurted everyone around them. And do you remember Roxanna Richter, one of Ramona's "evil exes"? Ramona literally queerbaited her just for experimentation and then dumped the poor girl and treated her past romance with Roxanna as "just a sexy phase". As a bi woman, I felt bad for Roxanna, and didn't like that Ramona treated her that bad. Roxanna had a full right to hate her.
@@peachesandcream22 "one of the few" including anyone who has finished the comic where it's very clear and the main focus of both of their character arcs.
This is why there are a lot of "nice guys". Who think kindness towards women is transactional and that if they are "kind" once they owe them. But it isn't really kindness if you expect something in return and most of the time their version of kindness is not beating them. and when it doesn't work out for them they turn to insult and all of a sudden they thought they were ugly all along and them begging for sex was somehow a service to them lmao. Or even worse the stalk them.
@@yourknightmanny I don't need to "hang in there" lol I'm married and calling him a hero of legend would make him cringe so hard he'd vomit lol. dating wasn't hard for me because it is very easy to weed out the truly good people form the "nice guys/girls" if some one expects something in return for their kindness they aren't actually kind. because real kindness is just doing the right thing because it's the right thing and only needing the satisfaction of knowing they did something good as payment for it. most normal people practice real kindness everyday it's kind of not hard at all to find a decent person.
@@faithhelsel4473 What naivety is there in not knowing that most incels who called themselves that are old farts by now and the ones now who do not know of the origins of the phrase are troubled by that since they themselves do not fall into its bigoted origins seek to make less out of human desire to get rid of desire that is understandable but lacking social cues to get over their hurdle? Some didn't have friends; some were friends with girls but didn't have the courage to put their feelings out there.
I've always had a bit of a disdain for how most shows have the main female character and the main male character end up together, and the whole notion that men and women can't just be close friends but HAVE to have romantic feelings for each other. The reason for this is that i, a girl, am best friends with a boy. We've been friends since kindergarten, sat next to each other in nearly every class throughout middle school and were generally very friendly with each other, though it more had a vibe of siblings picking on one another. Our school mates took all this as evidence that we were dating, to the point that one boy, who was two years older than us and who i didn't know basically at all, gave me the nickname "[friend's] woman". "[FRIEND'S] WOMAN". I was like 11 or 12. It took me actually getting a boyfriend and being seen with him in public for these idiots to leave me and my friend alone.
I get what you mean, even tho Sometimes I really like when the main characters who are close friends fall in love and get togheter after creating a deep bond first, because I think that’s how you build a Healthy relationship (IMO) and it goes against the “love at first sight” trope, wich I personally hate. I think it works well As long as they also have other close friends of the opposite gender without any romantic interest involved. I think that’s a good compromise, best of both worlds, that way you can show they can also have a healthy platonic relationship with the opposite gender, without wanting to get togheter, while still having a healthy, more believable, not rushed romantic relationship with their love interest.
Yeah your right, I'm also pretty sick of this, it happens in a lot of games I play. Male and Female character EXISTS, and then they HAVE to love eachother because they are male and female, a lot of the time the romance isnt even built up, they jsut start saying they love eachother and I dont know why theres no flirting, its just the guy was nice to her or she was nice to him, or they are both "nice" people or whatever. It sucks
In Jewish writings Adam is at fault because he told her not to touch the tree when he was only commanded not to eat from it. So when the snake was like "well you touched it and you didn't die" she thought Adam had lied to her. So the lesson is don't talk down to a woman and give her all the facts, also extremism breeds sin.
I like this concept very much. The concept of that one who gets taught an unnecessarily heavier version of the rules becomes more vulnerable to temptation to break them.
I wish more people realized this! It's my favorite narration of the Fall precisely because it's the only one that doesn't blame the woman, and I hate seeing it misrepresented so often Editbecausenowmultiplepeoplehavemisinterpretedmywords: I like this story because Eve isn't the scapegoat for Adam, nor is Adam's curse afflicted on him by anyone but himself. It also doesn't make women out to be evil/stupid/etc.
@@callieanderson644regardless, they were both at fault. It is has always been both of their fault. Jewish exact translation/interpretation or Christian version. Whew! What a relief! 🙄 The point behind the Jewish interpretation is interesting and gives another take on a deep meaning though.
This is why I like studio Ghibli films as it doesn't have forced romances. ( I'm hopeless romantic but sadly a lot if romance tropes are harmful and warp your perspective ) And Hayao Miyazaki never creates two dimensional women tropes but as self sufficient people with lives and goals and may need a friend but never a savior.
I also love that he made girls, girls. They were self-sufficient, and feminine, and amazing and beautiful for so many reasons that don't detract from their femininity, and all this without needing to sexualize them! One of the women I always looked up to from childhood was Sosuke's mom from Ponyo. A total badass, the best mom in the world
Fr. Hayao Miyazaki knows how to write women and characters in general. My favorite example of this is in his first movie (before the creation of Studio Ghibli), Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro. In the manga and anime series of Lupin the Third, there's this girl named Fujiko who was created in the image of what the creator and men in the studio wanted her to be. In the early days of the series, she was a girlboss dont get me wrong but they did her mad dirty with all the sexism and misogyny. And yet, Miyazaki in 1979 (who also previously worked on a few episodes of the anime) created a version of Fujiko that wasn't written to be Lupin's partner (in fact in the movie she states that they are no longer together and that it was her that left him). And even the "damsel in distress" character, Clarisse, wasn't even that much of a damsel in distress. She liked Lupin probably because he saved her but I'm so greatful Miyazaki didn't make them end up together. And on top of that, the manga and anime usually depict Lupin as a terrible guy but Miyazaki made him actually likeable (although I myself like a few versions of Lupin in the anime). If you haven't seen it, I definitely would recommend it.
@@callieanderson644I mean Anna from "When Marnie was there" was still more tomboyish and couldnt relate to girl typical things but I like that depiction of not fitting into a gender role as well once in a while since such girls exist too.
Maybe that's the reason why I actually loved some romance in some studio Ghibli movies, but romance in most other movies and TV-shows very rarely appeal to me...
Also his Ghibli boys has the most respectful and competent roles on the film too. They are flawed but they have conviction and open to change for the better. Edit: just realized that the thing that differentiate them to most male leads was their softness. There's just something gentle about them, not the usual 'gentle men' but something soft, safe, and warm.
Another lesson people need to learn is how to separate fiction from reality in general. You can learn important themes and messages from stories, but you should never view them as step-by-step guides on how to live your life and develop your own personality. Fiction is always far more exaggerated and unrealistic than any actual real life scenario.
This right here is facts separate Fiction from Reality, a lot of things are exaggerated in Fiction because it’s just that not real, the people that act like oh I should live my life like a Cartoon or an Anime and let’s be honest both are just for entertainment that’s it I don’t even think their necessarily to learn lessons from because how many people act like how Spider man does when he has problems or an MC in an Anime talking about the power of friendship and saves the day and gets his girlfriend. So I think people need to stop applying things they see from TV to real life I would expect that from a child who doesn’t know any better, not older people who should know better than that and know how to act.
Yeah that’s true But unfortunately some fiction IS meant to reinforce or feed into harmful standards or ideas But many people can’t read beyond subtext either, they see something they like Or is beneficial to their world view And that’s really all they need Doesn’t matter if you tell people not think women are slaves to men If they binge content that reinforces that It will influence how they views relationships No motivation to think beyond that unless the media literally is telling you to
16:53 I'm so glad that Johnny Bravo subverted the "I Dream of Jeannie" trope and had the genie imprison Johnny in the toaster because he kept trying to sexually harass.
Johnny Bravo is a weird case, because he bothers women a lot while also being disdainful of people who try to take advantage of women. There's an episode about a guy who talks about how he lies to women to get them to implicitly sleep with him, and Johnny tells the women he's dating to keep them from being taken advantage of.
@@TheAzulmagiadoesn't make him less predatory tho lol. Just because he has disdain for other men who harass women doesn't excuse his behaviour at all.
What I hate about most romance content is that most relationships are toxic! They romanticize abuse. And it's all fun and games until it wraps your sense of love and you end up in bad relationships. Healthy couples are harder to find.
It's because we've been conditioned to lie in even casual friendships and then shame people for not meeting our standards. Like we can be outright awful to each other. Not realizing none of us had it figured out when we were younger.
@@KartarNighthawkThis exactly. They usually use the “childlike wonder” of the born sexy yesterday girl to fuel the manic pixie part. It’s super gross and weird. Are there really THAT many dudes out there who fetishize naïvety that they can take advantage of?
Man, this is so well articulated. The way these stories perpetuate unrealistic ideals and expectations to men hurts men as well as the women in their life resulting in lonely angry people. We need more stories about self love and self fulfillment where men don't base their worth on the woman having into their arm.
@@lephinor2458 Unfortunately some people take stories too seriously sometimes, just look at the disappointment surrounding high school musical vs actual real life high school experience. The number of people who are bitter and complain how their teen life isn't like the ones in tv and movies is sad.
The problem is that people have been raised on stories since the tv entered the average home. You have hours of input that repeat certain patterns in your head that ultimately shape your perspective. There’s a reason beyond hum-buggery that our ancestors used to consider people always reading fiction to be ridiculous and air-headed people. If your fantasy experts is much greater than your real world experience, the former becomes the direction. Knowing the stories are fake doesn’t change the fact that your internal logic is being compromised to accommodate what you’re regularly hearing/seeing every day.
@@lephinor2458 Stories dont have to be realistic, but when the same tropes keep playing over and over thousands of times with not nearly enough variation to counter it, its gonna affect many people on a subconscious level and start to affect how they see the world, what they expect in life and find important. It doesnt have to be realistic, but the norms for romance should be broken much ofter than they do. Like showing more unreciprocated love for characters that are actually good (which Im sure happens a lot in real life) and having main characters not end up paired at the end of each movie, but they can still find happiness regardless.
As an asexual aromantic person, I approve this message Thanks for all the support! I'm glad to be joined with at least 40 other AroAces. Let us fight as one to take down forced romance!!
I’ve also noticed men who like “fantasy” or subservient women tire of them fairly quickly. Which is not only painful for the women discarded, but borderline dangerous.
Yeahh!! bcz ultimately a human cannot function on fantasies neither can they properly belong witha person who isnt their equal. And the concept simply starts to crack. Man made laws can only go so far, natural laws prevail.
@@thotslayer6946 they’re not talking about ALL men here, only about a specific group of men that enjoy fantasizing about these kinds of women and how they usually grow bored of them and discard them like dolls
@@N30-LUCIF3R They're talking about all men that prefer a certain type of woman. Quite the unjustified broad stroke, don't you think? How is her statement any better than "Girls love bad boys until they ditch them during pregnancy."
I always thought my contempt for a lot of anime, even when I was a preteen weeb, was because I’m a girl. Like “of course I don’t like these problematic trope, I’m a girl and this is for dudes.” So hearing you talk about it really caught me off guard. I haven’t heard many men speak negatively on anime’s problematic tropes, especially eechi harems, is so refreshing.
As a girl who loves anime (not the ecchi ones ofc) it's very saddening how poorly represented women are in anime! But that mostly happens in shounen, seinin and male audience targeted animes. There are plenty of good female leads and romances in shoujo and OF COURSE STUDIO GHIBLI ❤
@@junainahrahman4156 Sadly, I see less and less shoujo these days. It's mostly harem or harem adjacent. Even genres that were once primarily targeted towards girls, like mahou shoujo, are getting ecchi-fied :(
Also, as a woman recently being a sexual/ideal fantasy of a man, then turned on me just because he used me, got bored of me etc and me being a hopeless romantic... The green haired anime refrence is helping my spirit heal.
So you didn't save sex till marriage, then got surprised when he didn't commit. Lol Just keep sleeping with men until one stays. Good luck not waiting till marriage or at least a long time deep into the partnership.
@@christiantaylor1495 victim blaming isn't right bro, what about the one who keep pressing women to have sex with them and then keep telling them they will never meet someone who will marry them becauce they don't want to have sex before marriage? Do you know how manipulative some people can be to get what they want. How ignorant to comment such thing, how old are you?
@@christiantaylor1495 Bruh, ya don't even know their story and you're bitching at them like this? You're not helping in the slightest, only being an asshole.
This is why I think the ideas of "leading someone on" or "being friendzoned" are bullshit. Women are allowed to be nice to you without being attracted to you, and being friends with a woman isn't a downgrade/loss.
@@henriqueabreu9706 Friendzoned is not saying the woman HAS to be with the guy. it means the woman isn't interested in a romantic relationship SO she wants them to stay friends. hence the name... women get friendzoned too. hello??
Oh, the "friendzone" exists. It's just a boundary you need to respect. Bitching about it constantly is what makes you a "nice guy" and an entitled asshole
FR. Being friends is NOT a downgrade. If you truly like someone, you'd enjoy their company and hanging out with them even if it's not romantic. Friendship is such a beautiful thing, regardless of gender. I am genuinely convinced that people who see friendship as a downgrade are just salty that the person they're pursuing don't want to have sex with them. Which is most likely the very thing they were after all along.
@@mintallylost222 I know this is NOT what you're saying, but I think it's something that needs to be stated cuz a lotta people get this shit confused. Not wanting to stay friends is okay. Just because you want something other than friendship doesn't make you shallow. when pursuing a romantic relationship, I believe STARTING OFF as friends is a plus cuz you get to know the person first and can then decide whether or not you wanna take it to the next level. I agree with the spending time with someone part, but I also believe its okay to not wanna stay friends once you realize they don't feel the same way. it sounds like an awkward situation, if you ask me. Why 'stay friends' when that's clearly not what I wanted? the other person clearly isn't interested, so why stay if you truly don't want to? Those feelings take time to disappear and acting as if though it didn't happen makes things awkward. ya know what I'm sayin'?
I remember I got my period one night. I started vomiting, shitting my guts out and even wetting my pants from intense pain. It smelled awful. I almost fainted. I'm pretty sure this would shatter a guy's image of me. Women are always expected to be perfect beings that fix men. In short, I feel like my vomiting and intense pooping episode would convince a guy to breakup with me pretty fast
@@eden5243 I am a guy, but from what I've heard alot of actual medical problems are ignored because people act like it's just normal. Things like vomiting and what's mentioned here sounds a bit more extreme than just being painful.
@@iexist1300Periods can be really bad but also completely tame. You can tell the difference because the symptoms are specific and contained. It could be perceived as rude to suggest that someone’s period anecdote is based on ignorance of their own body. Important reading note might be that the event in question is described as more singular than chronic.
I'm not that familiar with Peanuts, but as an ace person, I resonated with Schroeder quicker than _any_ explicitly asexual character 😂. Heck, this whole video gives aro/ace vibes & I love it. Great essay.
Hell yeah dude, I'm regrettably very allosexual but the part of me that never wanted to be that way identified with Schroeder immediately, he's still one of my favorite characters in all of media
banger video. you really nailed it with this one; depictions of romances like these can be harmful to the way our brains develop. not only can they cause idealization of the people around us, but they can cause devaluation of ourselves when we can't be in or don't want to be in relationships. it's important to go out and experience life by yourself to fully identify what it is that you want in life. if you're depressed and demotivated and feeling unhappy with yourself, a partner will not fix you. especially because you're not broken in the first place. finding yourself is a natural part of growing up. (very glad i found your channel, thanks youtube algorithm!)
When you brought up Urusei Yatsura I literally shrieked! It’s one of my favorite anime/manga ever, it’s absolutely wonderful! Urusei Yatsura is so wonderful not just because of the nuance you bring up, but because I think Lum is *far* from the perfect girl. I mean she’s great, don’t get me wrong- but part of what makes her such a fun character how her charm mixes so well with her flaws! She’s incredibly short tempered and insistent on things going her way, often to obsessive degrees. Of course she has every right to be angry at Ataru for leering at other girls… but she’s also incredibly stubborn. I mean the girl is a princess after all, she is used to things going her way. The anime doesn’t really showcase this as much, but the manga gradually showcases more of Lum not just caring about Ataru, but other humans as well (there’s an episode/chapter that’s all about Lum training to fight against some girl’s bullies without her electric powers, iirc). Ataru is also incredibly nuanced, especially in the manga. Yes, we are supposed to be angry at his skirt-chasing tendencies and general jerky attitude… but we also kinda see that more than anything, he’s incredibly lonely. He has bad luck, his parents have always kinda been crappy towards him… it’s very easy to analyze that Ataru’s desperation for girlfriends is out of this “quantity over quality” because if he disappoints one girl (as he seems to disappoint everyone)… he can just move onto the next one. Lum, to him, is the embodiment of genuine love and commitment- which is incredibly scary to him. Over the course of the manga, he becomes less and less of a skirt-chaser, realizing he genuinely loves Lum and wants to spend his life with her. We also see the more positive sides of him, such as helping random aliens (even if it’s to get them out of his hair sometimes), and a ghost girl pass on. Tldr, UY is so good not just because of how it deconstructed the harem anime trope before it even started, but because the two leads aren’t just your ideal tropes- they’re actual characters with a lot of layers and complexity if you dig a little deeper.
I'm glad someone pointed this out. Also, it's not like he wanted to be with her in the first place. It was through a misunderstanding that he was stuck with her and he had to deal with her possessiveness.
@@randyjake6226 Admittedly yeah- I think there were times that Ataru did actually sit Lum down and explain it was a misunderstanding- but she’s a stubborn girl. Honestly part of me wonders Lum used Ataru to a degree to like- stay on Earth?? To learn more about it or something? There’s also the aspect where she just threw herself into the new relationship (maybe to get out of her old one with Rei???). Maybe she’s even using the ideal of a housewife to get away from royal responsibilities?? The interesting thing is that as UY started, Lum’s base character (her values and motivations) were… inconsistent and shallow. We never really get why she was so insistent on Ataru being her “darling,” especially with how much we see him being a lil shit.
I like Urusei Yatsura, because there characters are not what they seem to be at the 1st glance. Lum is "perfect girl", who is actually a spoiled princess brat with short temper. Ataru is a skirt-chaser, but he actually has a heart of gold he tries to hide. Ataru's female friend is a typical "girl next door", but she's actually smart and very strict. That black-hair guy is an elegant gentleman, but he's actually as same skirt-chaser, as Ataru, but more mannered to hide it. Lum's uncle looks like a cute baby, but he's actually an adult who likes to torture Ataru and gets away with nothing cause of his baby appearance. Etc.
I see a lot of young men these days talking about how men can "love" a woman so long as she's nice enough and attractive enough like it's something virtuous. "Men are simple, just don't be a bitch, that's it. We aren't complicated like women." That's not love... thats not a relationship. That's just wanting a female shaped cutout to take up the female shaped space you created in your life.
You got to think they jack themselves up to this predicament because sex is covering their true sight. A human being whos perishable is no different to you.
"you created" lol. As though the desire to have a sexual/romantic partner is some concocted and invented desire on the part of those who have it instead of just a fundamental aspect of mammalian biology.
I think that's a pretty broad and one-sided interpretation of what the sentiment can entail. "Men are simple, just don't be a b****" sounds to me like it comes from guys who want straightforward interactions and a mature woman capable of communicating her wants and needs. There are so many guys who've been in emotionally abusive relationships and, if they don't end up indicting all women because of their shitty ex, they're going to look for women who actually respect them. "We're not complicated like women" sounds sexist on the surface, and in many instances it definitely is. But if you look at male sexuality vs. female sexuality, male sexuality is much more an ooga-booga phenomenon than female sexuality. It's true that on dating apps women rate men more harshly on looks than men rate women, but that's not how women prioritize looks. A girl will pick an average-looking guy with rizz over the quiet chad, because there's nothing beneath that chad's rippling muscles. Women also tend to be a lot more discerning about potential partners than guys because 1. Guys are way stronger than her, and if she picks a bad dude, he can easily hurt her. 2. Women have a lot more options than men and can afford to choose because men come to them. Men in the overwhelming majority of cases have to approach women. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been hit on by a girl in my adult life. Us guys can be dumb, and a girl can hit on us and we'll never notice until days, months, and even years afterwards. Saying men aren't complicated, and female sexuality is more complicated has truth to it.
@Leitis_Fella problem is the guys I see saying things like "men are simple" are NOT going after mature women, straight forward women, or even women that respect them. Maturity, honesty, good communication, mutual respect, non toxic behavior are all wonderful things to look for in a partner and I'd encourage any guy to put those at the top of his list. "Female and nice enough" are not those things. That's the problem. Guys set their standards way too low and somehow think they set them high?
That's a fair point. I think on the extreme end of things, a lot of this toxic behavior is observed in both men and in women. Some things, of course, are more common for one sex than the other. However, that's a conversation for another day. I also find the gender war bs that gender-relations tend to fall into extremely unproductive, so thanks for being civil :/ When I try to understand the mentality you're describing, I can't help but feel sorry for those guys even under the layer of insufferable behavior. People are born as blank slates and are shaped by their environment. Ultimately, it comes from the innate desire to be loved, but their problem is they have a bad perception of love. I don't think films that the video describe really shape people, but the ideas and themes are absolutely a reflection of cultural trends and zeitgeists. Six years ago, I kind of had the opposite problem to the guys you're describing, lol. I actively set out to find a high-value person, found a mature and sweet girl who had everything I was looking for, (or so it seemed). I got caught in a cycle of limerance and projected what I wanted her to be onto her, instead of seeing her as she was. I drove her away. It took over a year of self-reflection to realize my mental process was that in searching for a high-value girl, I found that framing someone with unrealistic expectations leads to heartbreak.
this was an amazing video essay, its always so eye-opening to hear how misogynistic ideals have affected men and you illustrate/verbalise your points so well!
@lephinor2458 Okay, but for often than not it's shown it very toxic ways. Also this toxic romance stuff has absolutely saturated all forms of media, so there's not many places to NOT see this.
@lephinor2458 Attention everyone this person is clearly biased and is in multiple comments being defensive and arguing in bad faith. Don't waste your time on this troll. This is a repeat message because I value people time. Continue to call out patriachy bullshit ✊
@@asterya6913 someone can be biased and still have a point. for example, I can call you out for having a bias for the side this essay takes, does that make your opinion invalid? And about arguing in bad faith, isn't it natural for someone who is in the 'devils advocate' to take strong anti positions to the points made in the essay? Nothing about what he has done is 'bad faith argumentation', which is actually when you hold a pretense for arguing for something you believe when in actuality you hold no true feelings on the matter at all. And also being in multiple comment threads has nothing to do with the credibility of his points. That just shows that they are engaged with the video.
As a feminist but romantic at heart. This was such a beautiful video essay on some of the on it observations of the human condition. You also added to my Playlist or Wikipedia down the rabbit hole addition of movies and pop culture references. Thank you
@@sonatestd2085Why because you said it. If someone have romance in their it has everything to do with two indivudual who fall it not one Patrachical man can control. Patrachical man never find love
oyasumi punpun is such an incredible work of art. i read it a few years back and felt nothing but crippling loneliness and emptiness after reading it. loved this video!!
About the Adam and eve thing. In the original translation it says: "God took Adam's other half to make him less lonely." As if taking a part of you you'll naturally be attracted to cause you deeply seek reunion with your other self. Adam and eve were so to speak 2 halves of one whole. And so I hate the translation cause Eve's signifigance was reducted down to a bone rather than the entire half of Adam himself. But then again that bible adaptation was written to reduce women any way it could so no wonder. There's many more aspects of wrong translations there mind you. It's very interesting.
There are actually two creation myths wrapped into one in Genesis. One where God makes man and woman in his image at the same time. And the second myth in which Eve is created from Adam‘s rib as a counterpart for him specifically. This has always fascinated me and is probably due to there being several sources that inspired Genesis.
Oh yeah. And *ezer-kenegdo* (translated “helpmeet”) doesn’t mean servant; it’s difficult to translate the idea but it really boils down to “character foil and battle buddy all rolled into one.” Moreover the tone in the Hebrew strongly insinuates that Adam was right there listening in when the serpent tempter Eve - like he was waiting to see what she would do. And then when caught, Adam not only blamed Eve for giving him the fruit: but blamed God did giving him Eve. That being said, the traditional way the narrative has been presented to generations is what sets the tone for the stories to follow, as he said.
What I’ve never been able to understand, in both media and life in general, is why it seems like a man and a woman can’t just be friends and have to be together. It never applies to two men or two women. One of the greater examples I’ve seen of this in my life was when two of my past teachers (male and female) were close. Almost everyone I spoke to straight off the bat thought they were a couple. When the female teacher announced she had a partner and they were getting married, people were actually mad that she and the male teacher weren’t dating. Ridiculous.
Romantic relationships are quite adjacent to the construct of marriage, which is a societal control device. The whole culture around it is shaped to nudge people into conformity. Those absorbed in it tend to view non-compliance as an invitation to nudge harder, converting any frustration they experience whilst doing so into irritation, outright bewilderment or even hostility.
Yep, as a woman with a physical disability from birth, I think people need to get comfortable with the idea of being alone and building a fulfilling life outside of a romantic relationship. I've had to because legally if you marry or even live with a partner you lose the income you need to survive. Aside from that, I've learned that many people who are able-bodied don't want a romantic partner who happens to be disabled.
I don't think the problem is being a romantic. I think it's that people expect love to be effortless as long as you're with the right person. But true love is a group of choices rather than a feeling. Half the act of falling in love is the willingness to fall in love. If you look at it through that lense, there is someone for everyone.
@@peachesandcream22 Well now hold on, they are objectively not normal, maybe not 'sick' but still a burden. And being a burden isn't a bad thing, it's just a thing we all have to deal with, as we are all a burden on each other and that's part of being in a healthy relationship. You're acting as if having a preference for people who aren't disabled is some kind of 'ism', when in reality, there are people who do fall in love with disabled people despite their burdens, and not finding them desirable isn't prejudice or nefarious, sometimes the thought just never occurs to them that they would even fall for someone who's disabled in some way.
Yup. Lots of people are not interested in relationships at all. And on top of that, it’s literally statistically impossible for everyone to find a match anyway because there’s a disproportionate number of men, women and people in general that would be compatible.
A common misconception people have about the bible is that it only blames eve and is therefore sexist but if you actually read it Adam is JUST as MUCH to blame as Eve for eating the apple during the whole thing when the snake was tempting Eve, Adam was just chilling there. People just suck at reading they just gloss over this part and only blame the woman when Adam was just there not doing anything, when he should've. They were both equally to blame. Reference (Part of Genesis 3:6 she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.)
Plus (I don't remember where, I'm not good with addresses, please don't hate me) where it says we inherit our brokenness from our fathers, and that's why Jesus was perfect because He didn't have a human father (obviously He was also perfect because He's literally God, but he's God and also human, but not a demigod because He's 100% both and it gets really difficult to explain and understand and I'm not entirely sure that I understand it completely myself) Basically what I'm saying is that Adam and Eve were both at fault but if Adam hadn't sinned (which it also says somewhere was inevitable anyway but we're speaking in theory here) we would all be fine
@@crazydragy4233 If you're talking about Plato, and his ideas of the spiritual realm which influenced Dante Alighieri's writings (Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradisio, and the Divine Comedy), which then went on to fundamentally influence how people think about what the Bible says regarding what heaven, hell, angels, and demons are, then you are correct. If you're talking about anything else, I wouldn't say something like that lightly without saying which "dude" taught about that, why it's different from what the Bible actually says, and so on.
Their are some that are unsettling or problematic but the one he was talking about with the romance doesn’t matter it’s exaggerated and hopefully people have enough common sense to not think that a cartoon portray’s how actual people would act
@@katierobbins1961 I can’t really blame the Anime, I blame the individual that apparently couldn’t differentiate cartoons are cartoons and aren’t real or portray real life, I’m not going to stick a bomb in my mouth and think I’ll be fine like the Looney Tunes, that’s just idiotic thinking, he definitely knew better and chose to behave like a jackas* these are people that’s choosing to act like they do, Trust me not every weeb or Anime watcher behaves like that ma’am or sir I watch Anime but I know for a fact that it’s cartoons and it’s purely for entertainment and fun not to act out in real life like some looney bin.
@@katierobbins1961I've read a post once of a girlfriend who has a weeb bf. He literally thought anime hentai tropes were a real thing that real women do. It's sad.
First of all: please, for the love of GOD give into that little part of yourself that wants to make a Boy Meets World retrospective 🙏🙏🙏 Second of all: wow, between this and the Barbie video you have quickly become one of my favorite video essayists. I'm super excited for what you have to say next 💖
It really is a rarity to have friendships just stay that way. It can be so much fun exploring deep friendships between a boy and a girl, 9/10 it'll be written better than most forced romance out there if the mentallity on romance doen't change. Heck, even same sex friendships are tainted by fanbases desperate for gay representation that they end up shipping them, even if they clearly show no romantic interest in each other (they could still be gay, but not with each other) or clearly one/both of them is/are hetero. There's times I also am guilty of this, but only when I see something in the characters (and if I love both characters individually and with each other).
This is the type of stuff that we all need to learn. As a female, I had to learn this and I personally wouldnt want somone to be as enchanted with me as well. I want a friend that I can love not an attatched arm. Ive seen many people hurt by romcoms. We have to learn the differences between whats allowed in fiction and real life. Real life isnt a fantasy no latter what we do and thats ok, we just have to make the best of it.
(I know you didn't cover these characters in depth and I'm just nitpicking what amounts to a 3second screen grab but I'm gonna say this anyway) Clementine from Eternal Sunshine and Summer from 500 Days of Summer don't fall into the 'manic pixie dream girl' trope for me. It would seem that they do, given how the men in their lives treat them, but the overarching narrative doesn't justify those mens' perspectives. Clementine even gives a little speech basically laying out to Joel "hey, I'm not some magical being that's going to fix your life for you, I'm just trying to get by like anyone else." Whatshisface from 500 days has to go through this whole process of de-romanticizing Summer in his mind to treat her like a person and let her go.
As a woman, while I'm working, if my boyfriend refuses to do chores while i provide for him, I'm going to be p*ssed. It doesn't matter your gender, you shouldn't take a free ride on your partner that's working. Pull your weight.
I definitely acknowledge my privilege as a cis gay male because it’s always kind of been a given to me that I wouldn’t have a normal life, I’d never be expected to raise children nor have the “perfect family” with the wife and 2.5 kids and a cute dog, etc. And as a chronically single person by choice, I’ve also never wanted to define myself by my relationship status or who I’m in a relationship with. So it’s just surprising to me that there are men out there who need to be told that they don’t need a girlfriend/wife to be happy. They don’t need to support a woman to be happy. They can have a wholesome life entirely on their own, and it doesn’t need to come at the cost of women at all.
you know what? you are so fuckin' right. you NEVER hear any gay guys talkin' about this stuff. it's always us heteros beatin' each other over the head about "the perfect lifestyle". dude, if you want a family, cool. If ya don't, cool! everyone is not meant to live the exact same life!!!
There aren't any men out there who need to be told this. This is just some theoretical nonsense that has no bases in reality. Don't believe every thing you see in movies or in youtube videos.
@@treeforged9097yes, there are. Do you have any sources for that argument, or are you just basing that off of an opinion you decided you needed to have because the video itself felt like an attack? In media, and in real life, I see men who are so hellbent on getting a girlfriend, or their families bringing up how they need a wife. Even the edgy and immature guys who say "girls icky" with big words center their whole lives around women, just in a different way. And I hate that for them. As someone raised a girl, and had my parents joke about me having boyfriends from young to now, it was annoying. Especially when all I really cared about was my hyperfixation for that month and schoolwork. And though it's not often, women are more likely to be told their lives don't need to involve a man. I can only imagine how it feels to be a guy, constantly under the pressure of not even finding love at this rate but a ""mate"", and becoming increasingly depressed over it. Romantic love isn't and shouldn't be a requirement. Men aren't "sexual creatures" any more than anyone else. Men don't need women to be whole or happy, same for women. But apparently that's a controversial statement. See for yourself, comment that somewhere or maybe in real life, and watch the response you'll get.
As a woman dating another woman, i’ve heard of other bi women who ends up choose to just not date men because of how often men are immature and puts their while selfworth onto them. While i dont plan on ever leaving my sweetheart i certainly would not exclude them from my dating pool. Still, seems like more work than a homosexual relationship.
What i got from this video is: Nothing?apart from you shudent persue love by makeing acts of service or you shudent fall for someone that has different interess from you.and in all of this you didnt show 1 real life example if you are refearing to this causeing stuff in real life and if you are refearing to sthe problem of stuff like this beeing in media the why dont you just not watch Romances because most of the Media dosent have Romance or has very little of it?ngl i respect the hours if not Days you put in this Video but i dont get exacly whats is the Conclusion of this Video?
@@ExpertContrarianlol, you still should be nice, not just to women but to everyone, and not to get something in return but because of high morals. If you don’t have high morals you’re just a bad person. Being nice doesn’t grant you anything, but being bad you can get punished one day
I wanted Shawn and Angela to end up together so much. I get that it's more realistic that two people wbo were so good together can't work it out due to life getting in the way...the great "What If" person. But I was so much more invested in Shawn and Angela than any other couple/relationship by the end of the show
@@spaghetto9836 not to nitpick unnecessarily, but since you've expressed that you're at least passively studying it, you should know that it's a myth, not a fable. People think myth automatically means untrue, but that's not literarily the case, only proverbially. I only bring it up because, when judging the validity and claims of a writing, it's important to understand the genre so as to understand what it's actually saying (for instance, when people say "all you need is love," they're making a poetic and philosophical statement rather than a literal one, and because we understand that, we can then judge what we think it means and whether we believe it). I'm not sure what kind of agnostic you are, so I hope I wasn't being too annoying just then, I just thought it was important, since if the story was a fable, that would imply a lesson or moral, which obviously is neither stated explicitly nor implicitly (and also everyone in the story would be an animal)
The myth of creation falls on this mysoginist turn but the actual Hebrew texts don't make Eve out to be a servant or something from Adam. She was made to be an equal, made from scratch just like Adam. But when it was translated, of course it was distorted into what we know now.
22:55 I mean i love that meme but I’m an artist so character design is just fun to me and I like seeing how you can take the same exact object give it to 5 artists and then be given 20 different character designs
As a woman, I see every man and rate them as how good of a partner they would be without thinking about it. I feel good when I see people look at me, especially men. I have also been conditioned by society to be defined by my relationship with men, so I’ve found value in this video. I’m trying to be more neutral when it comes to men, and see them as people with flaws who might be my friend before my partner. Societal pressure exists for EVERYONE!
Bro made good points . There is also the thing about anime I find uncomfortable . It's where they portray girls exposed naked accidentally as cute and the male got slapped for it when he accidentally saw it . And sometimes they show the males like it even if he got slapped for it. WTF is wrong with that trope. As a man , I feel so uncomfortable and I believe it'd be the same for girls too .
The biggest harm all these narratives create is making people believe in a perfect love. People have this idea that a relationship doesnt or shouldnt take effort, and that any annoyace means they arent "meant" to be together.
Don't actually listen to this guy, he got so many things wrong in the first half it's not even funny, I'm kinda of piss over it. So first, Adam and eve, I know a lot of people don't even know the stories but you didn't even read the LITERALLY THE FIRST STORY ON GENESIS THE BOOK OF BEGINNINGS. And how you got it wrong, second Lilith, in the original context, it means night creature, they were (in context I think was joel I could be wrong but it was some one in the Bible) talking about demons in the wiled. There is no secret second wife. When it comes to the original story of the Bible, if you read it, you WILL see that it's Adam who took ALL the blame NOT eve, she did get punishment a bit but that's to see them separate and in UR thought 2023 lens of American woakness (leftist), Eve was told that she could be like God (look at what religions tell you) so she eat to become like God, the "snake" was the wisest and craftiest, so no she didn't just get tricked by a random snake (animal) God didn't say "oh eve this is all your fault" no HE SAID "Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.[f]”" "And to the man he said, “Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. 18 It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. 19 By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.”" GENESIS 2:4-3:24 This also covers what you said wrong about how and when they eat. The FACT YOU BROUGHT UP Christian antisemitism, witch DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. See all the big Christians youtuber like Isaiah Salvador, Ruslan, saying pry for peace for the jews. Also this statement IGNORES Christian HISTORY in of it self, Apostle Paul was a jew who taught that it's not a circumcision but a circumcision of the Soul. Like HOW CAN YOU BE LIKE THIS???? HOW CAN YOU GET EVERYTHING WORNG. And that's why all your arguments falllllll flat.
@@stickmouse5002 maybe your to young, gamer, pizza. Gates. It all started back in 2015 but yet, 2001 was the jumping off point and the end of our freedoms. Red pill, you think it means picking up woman, but it means knowing your reality, the truth.
This video is so important, and so actually CRIMINALLY underrated. I feel like this will be so important to so many men who feel like they’ve been lied to by nearly all of hetero romance media in existence when they realize pursuing romantic relationships with women in real life isn’t anything like movies or tv at all. Our perception of romance between men and women has been warped for so long and the forced heterosexual romance partner is easily the biggest perpetrator in all of this. I feel like anyone who has involved themselves in the tiniest bit of feminist and queer theory would know how frustrating it is to try to constantly bring this up as an issue to anyone just to feel like their screaming into a void. So sincerely, thank you for discussing this.
@lephinor2458 Attention everyone this person is clearly biased and is in multiple comments being defensive and arguing in bad faith. Don't waste your time on this troll. This is a repeat message because I value people time. Continue to call out patriachy bullshit ✊
Basically the media is playing both sides. They setup the hopeless romantic boy, he either wins or loses his advances where it comes to those he fancies. The girl is taught to see everything as a threat as well search for "The One". So they will always clash negatively when really both want life experience and to simply be able to be "normal" with somebody. Romcoms REALLY and I mean REALLY fucked things up.
21:14 I mean… if the genders were reversed, you’d be saying he doesn’t owe her anything. Or does the fact that she’s in love with him mean he has to love her as well?
But it’s in contrast with his character trait… That he’s extremely sex driven and has no respect for women If it was a woman who literally invited sexual contact from every man she met The story would definitely question why she would ignore the one who’s interested in her beyond that….. Or at least frame her in a negative way Stories already have the trope where women pick abusive men over the guy we’re meant to believe would treat her better But actually just feel entitled to her in different way… It would be different if he was portrayed as normal But dehumanizing women to sex object is a defining characteristic
THIS VIDEO IS SO GOOD! I love urusei yatsura and DESPISE its contemporaries. In urusei yatsura, the stories in each manga chapter feel very unserious at heart. The characters are all so absurd and play off each other in a way where, even though they're all horrible people, you don't get a bad taste in your mouth about it. Their social power feels evenly distributed: Ataru is a sleazy perv, but he's always punished for it in the story! Lum is possessive and violent, but in such an absurd way that it can't be taken seriously! This is what modern harem anime fails at. The characters social power is very skewed towards the male lead. Their pervy actions aren't punished at all and all the women in the story flock to him. Yuck!
Le femme dans les harems sont presque aussi peu des récompense que lum et les hommes beaucoup moins dominateurs que Atari qui est le personnage le plus dominé de cette histoire.
So cynical, of course there is a perfect girl, the perfect girl is the one you fall in love with, that is what love is. The mainstream post ironic anti love campaign is very effective, how cynical the young have been made. The knowledge of good and evil was the lie got them thrown out of paradise, moral fraud, eve is better at it than adam
God, the Barbie universe is hell on earth specially for Kens. To be born and be mentally forced to enact one thing and be devoted to Barbies for only to not only not be appreciated but hated for something you were born to do, your literal reason for living as an accessory to Barbie. That is harsh lol.
@@happilyevernever4289 ehhh I would go that far. Eve was still respected and adored for her role but Ken is only there to make Barbie look better. It’s ironic revenge fantasy for the immature to the point of making Ken the accidental hero victim. I can tell you now that be impossible is there were actual dangers to the Barbie life just like real life. The kens would either step up and take over or leave the Barbie to their deadly fate.
I think it was a bit of both honestly. Barbie was both an homage and vent of the femme experience, and Barbieland was the complete flipping of the gender roles and power structure. I personally never got the impression that the Barbies 'hated' the Kens but they were annoyed by them and treating them with kid gloves the same way that some men in the real world will treat women/feminine people. All of this exaggerated to the 10th degree as well so it looks even more ridiculous. Also I don't know if you heard in the essay or anywhere outside of it but people have and continue to literally villify Eve for being the one to eat the apple and tempt Adam into doing so as well. Like to the point of her being one of the prime examples of the temptation of sin. Perhaps recently people are taking a second look at it with videos like these but the narrative has been that way for quite some time. Created to serve Adam and quell his loneliness, but when she steps out to try something new (while being manipulated by the snake) she is blamed entirely for the fall of eden.
@@FrancisBonnefoy413I was never raised to believe that, and I'm Catholic. I have heard this belief on the internet a lot, but it was the Devil who tricked Eve; so it never made sense to me where this viewpoint came from. How does that vilify her? None of my family or church taught me to blame Eve, it's the Devil who is at fault for always trying to tempt you into evil things.
This giy thinks the patriarchy invented the gold digger? I still haven't found a single person who can actually tell me anything insightful about "patriarchy"
This video is great, thank you for making it! The more I see people recognizing and calling this stuff out, the more hopeful it makes me. Daniel Sloss's comedy special "Jigsaw" goes into it, and RUclipsr Tara Mooknee has a great video called "Amatonormativity" (the academic word for it) on her channel, too.
The anime take is a little dogshit, I don't know why but for some reason people with "progressive" takes love to look at anime and take the shittiest, bottom of the barrel idea of what an anime can be like and project it onto every single anime in a genre or onto anime as a whole at times. Harem anime isn't my cup of tea either, mostly because I find them annoying as shit and I wish the MC would just be loyal and stick with one- but it's really no different than any other show embracing a fantasy. Sure, some shitty people like them, but acting like they're terrible because it reinforces some shitty peoples way of thinking is ridiculous because there's that type of people watching just about every genre and every form of media.
Urusei Yatsura started the shitty abusive love interest and tsundere craze and ironically you showed Evangelion because it took inspiration from this character for its girls. Rei and Asuka are basically her two halves, with Asuka being the obvious abusive tsundere example. but of course you talk about how the male was the damaging aspect and didn't talk at all about how the women treat the men poorly in it. and same with the other shows that creator made. Ranma 1/2 and innuyasha have the same overbearing and abusive female love interest and hapless idiot boy tropes that plague half of all anime to this day. yet nobody talks about this. when talking about romance tropes in anime people only ever talk about how shitty the guys are and make the girls victims but never talk about the other way around.
Yeah except how are we claiming that The long history of men claiming and demanding that women exist to benefit them With a trope of women being OVERBEARING…..while in a lot of those same tropes The women are STILL written to base their life and goals around men’s interest And that anything the man does to them is okay because of their feelings Are we supposed to believe that someone who’s a nag is equally harmful as a person with no personal goal aspirations beyond fulfilling a partner’s interest when they don’t care abt them
omg i loved this video so much!! you deserve way more recognition I haven´t realized how much I internalized this notion that I should be the perfect girl to fix the broken boy and damn...I've put myself in so much stress because of this.
It's making me think about my relationship with relationships too. Like in anime and media, love is always felt and felt strongly, but I'm demisexual which means I sometimes don't feel that attraction. So whenever that happens, I'm like 'is there something wrong with me?' And just... listening to my gut in general when it comes to dating men, bc I have people pleasing tendencies.
@@lorettabes4553 im glad you are taking care of youself and listening to your intuition, im trying to do that too. amatonormativity is hard on everyone but is even worse for those of us who are on the aro and/or ace spectrum.
Agreed! Having been born in the early 2000's, even though I wasn't thinking about how to get guys to like me I'd still worry and fret about being the "perfect female specimen" because that's where I got my self-worth
"Romance is a modern invention" Looks at the Song of Solomon from the 10th century B.C., at Jacob spending years of his life working his a$$ off to marry Rachel. Gets deeply confused. "Modern?" Reads about Isis going around Egypt to put the pieces of her husband back together, looking for the modernity in ancient writings.
Megamind is ALWAYS a credible source for serious media and literature discussions, I will die on this hill
FACTS.
Yes!!!
you and me both brother
@@youre_totally_right_but_ megamind is the model man more men should strive to be (the character development I mean)
Yeah that's my favorite animated movie, it's so perfect
The thing about Yatsura, too, is that it's damaging to spread the idea that men love the hunt and not women.
Exactly... Or that guys don't actually love girls or women for who they are, they love the idea of them existing next to them.
@missstranger7697
It's stuff like this and the glorification of abuse that really makes me eyeroll at romance, honestly.
I always saw it as a critique of it. Because you're constantly shown this happening and how much it affects it.
It's pointing a finger to it, not saying "this is how it should be done"
@@jusa297 But it doesn't givr anything constructive it feels like "it is what it is"
C'est vrai, mais les femmes font d'autres mauvaises actions aussi dans cette série.
26:04 the fact that you didn’t say, Scott gets off scott free is infinitely upsetting to me
Thank you, I actively sought out this comment to like it.
Most people, especially young but not only, don't even know who they are, what they want and they don't have established values. They only know what society expects from them (usually based on their sex) and they think following it will make them happy. I see the majority of relationships as pointless in a world like this.
"Kids these days" is recorded as far back as Socrates
By young people I didn't mean kids but like people 18-35.
18:40 I love that when Corbin tries to kiss the sleeping Lilu she pulls a gun to his head. She says "Never without my permission." It's a perfect illustration that sleeping women cannot consent. Corbin, in his poorly socialized male way, discovered that something he thought was cute, was actually assault.
Also depends on boundaries. I personally wouldn't mind a small kiss or peck but anything more when I'm asleep is a NO. While other women (and men) would be the opposite and not like it.
@@rainsnowfall220Let’s just also specify the VERY important detail that is:
A welcomed kiss in your sleep from your FAMILIAR ROMANTIC PARTNER, not some random stranger.
@@rainsnowfall220 Yes! And in the case of Corbin/Lilu they were total strangers.
I gave you the 69th like lmao.
That doesn't happen at the timestamp you put. Was this in the video or are you talking about something else?
I'm a girl, but growing up I always related to Schroder. The feeling of wanting to work on your art, but constantly pestered by someone wanting to "love" you.
Can I just say, I’m really tired of the “love at first sight” trope.
It feels so shallow to me.
You ‘aint loving that person mate. You are infatuated. Love is about building a connection, pretty much a really strong friendship with feelings of romantic attraction and affection on top of it.
Case in point, despite what crappy media might make you believe, 2 in 3 couples are born from a friendship, with an average span of 2 years before evolving into a romantic relationship, some of wich even spanning for more than a decade before blooming into love. And guess what? They are the HEALTHIEST ONES as well. There’s more than one study backing this up.
That’s how me and my boyfriend got togheter. And as a demisexual is also the only way i can feel attraction even. So I feel even more strongly about this.
I need more slow burns thank you very much 🙏❤️
not tryna start anything, buuuut demisexuality just sounds like someone WAITING to give it up until there's a bond and actual commitment. I just don't see how that categorizes as it's own sexual identity. you CAN become SEXUALLY attracted to someone just by looking at them, but not wanting to actually do it until you know 'em is what I'm hearing. (which is good, btw) you got some damn sense, IMO.
The whole "love at first sight" is only physical attraction, cuz their looks are the only info you get in that moment. literally impossible to fall in love with someone you don't know.
@@B0BBYJ4CK hi! Sorry if i made a bit of a long text, i hope this clarifies some stuff : )
First of all, I absolutely agree that “love at first sight” isn’t love, and that applies to everyone, since the only information you have of that person is litherally just their appearance.
I’m well aware that you Don’t have to be Demisexual to wait until you know someone well, I 100% still would do the same if even if I wasn’t, because like you said, is just good sense really.
(Heck, as I mentioned, 2 in 3 people choose to do this, and most of them aren’t demisexual.)
“Fully sexual” people can either feel primary sexual attraction from the get go, or secondary attraction after a bond has been created and romantic feelings blossomed like a Demisexual would. They have both options.
The main difference is that for me, as a Demisexual, i’m litherally unable to feel said primary attraction to people I don’t know.
unless there’s someone I’m really close with, I’m basically Ace.
I can only experience that secondary attraction i mentioned.
Even when they are super “hot”. I can appreciate their appearance visually as an artist, platonically, but i never got any desire unless we were VERY close.
So that’s different from feeling sexual attraction from the get go but choosing to wait, get what I mean?
I hope this clarifies stuff : )
Yes and no. In my case I’ve never dated any of my guy friends. Either I was not attracted to them sexually or our life style/ personalities would horribly clash in a romantic context. All of those guy ‘friends’ dropped me when they realized I didn’t want more. So they were playing the ‘friend’ angle to get close to me in hopes of sex or a relationship. Most got pissed and their true colors came out. It was quite hurtful and shocking. So I don’t usually have close male friends anymore.
@@LT-et5rr they say the older you get, the harder it is to have close friendships with the opposite sex. I feel like you CAN have platonic friendship with the OS only if you're not attracted to 'em.
I'm kinda in the same boat. I don't think I'd waste my time being 'friends' with a dude that I'm interested in and he's not into me. Chances are, I'm gonna be looking for a shot...if there is one 😂
I can conferm that friendship can lead to romance. my parents knew each other since elementary school and are still married
As a fellow PunPun fan. I’m so glad people are analyzing this series. I read this manga and felt existential for like a week.
Romance can be such a toxic genre to tackle, but its also one of the best ones. I often wish that the female and male parings didnt end up togetehr purely foe how awful the characters created can be but in analysis of so many stories it can be a benifit to disect. Unfortunately more often than not people dont look to understand characters deeper than they would otherwise. I feel its somehow connected to the idea that tomance is for women yet the ideas are kind of made to push that women need to be a way. And if it has male attention its also that women need to be a certain way and approached a certain way to guarantee their affection and attention such as buying them things and posturing ect. Still theres a big piece missing in romance genre and thats the woman who isnt conventionally attractive. You have girls with odd personalities and charcters but rarely any that are older and loved, "ugly" and loved, sick and loved if so its unrealistic or included its a joke. Never treated in the same was as the "nice guy" who somehow wins in the end. The irredeemable momster who still miraclously ends up with someone, basic dudes with no personality who get heaps of women. I fogot the otmriginal thoit so i just ranted but also i dont wanna type. Romance is such an interesting genre and like barbie the boy and girl dont have to end up togther. They can exist as individuals no matter how "perfect" they would be together. Summary romance is dumb not in the way of idiotic but fucking crazy. Its ridiculous the pressure for it from birth. Either youre loved by a partner or you're useless and unlovable because thats what the story says. It hurts men and women.
I really like the idea of the concept pf someone and falling in love eutg that because thats what a crush is. Its so interesting
shounen anime is guilty for forced romance. 😂
It’s hilarious. Girls and guys can’t be friends. Like Naruto being gaslit into falling in love with Hinata. 😂
Edit: Same with the Shounen Manga Seraph of the end. The main character is doing his best to keep his friendship with the main girl character. He keeps dropping the "Friend" word and she can't take a hint. she literally keeps confessing even though the stakes are high and everyone is thinking about the current issue. He even passed out head in her lap, she said. "Don't leave me again" and he woke up and he literally left her. It like he is not interested at all. Even when his friend says. 'Go be happy, have a family with that girl. She likes you.' he said he'd rather die. But forced romance is real and I know for a fact he is gonna end up with her in the end. Despite all the times he rejected her. He chose his friend, Mika. But it's shounen anime/manga and men and women can't be friends. They'll just end up together and make the story a dumpster fire.
And somehow sasuke and sakura got together.
Naruto/Hinata
Sasuke/Sakura
Those couples are sad to watch(to me).
Hinata enables Naruto and doesn't stop him from neglecting his family (the very thing he yearned for, since he grew up alone). She is too subservent to him.
He needs somebody who will help him at work. Remind him to come home.
Sakura is again too subservient to Sasuke. She is neglected and raised their child alone for years. And she is not even resentful when he comes back. (Sasuke is catching up right now so more power to him. But still)
Sasuke needs somebody who is as independant as he is. Somebody who enjoys being alone and enjoy when they meet.
I feel that All 4 of them deserved more compatible partners.
Hinata needs somebody affectionate that will actually pay attention to her. And help her to feel confident. To let her personality out. Someone she won't constantly people-please.
Sakura I don't know. Someone who appreciate her fire and is here often.
@@thirdplanet4471 Thats a mystery to me, he should have been single. Naruto should have been with Sakura. It would have made so much sense. lmao.
@@eureka2694 Tbh, Naruto and Sakura should have gotten together, hell. Sakura and Lee would have been perfect because he would have treated her like a queen and wouldn't have let her raise their kid alone. They would have been two strong willed parents which would be awesome. Same with Naruto. Naruto wouldn't have left her like that.
As for naruto and hinata. That ship grinds my gears because she stalked him for most of the series. Only confessed after she was dribbled like a basket ball by pain and then back to stalking and being owo cute anime girl. She only got screen time because her boobs grew. Honestly, it should have been her to sacrifice herself instead of Neji, Im sorry. Had to say it. She is such a bland character. And even if she didn't sacrifice herself she should have been with Kiba. Because they grew together, they know each other more than everyone and he would have taken care of her too. If they actually threw away their childhood crushes and went for guys who actually cared abut them, the story would have made sense and gave them a happy ending.
Don't forget the MC went after the little sister after dumping best girl💀
Great discussion! I enjoyed your insightful takes. Well worth the time.
One thing to note editing wise, I totally felt it improve as the cuts slowed down and you just got on with your storytelling. The beginning felt like it could be cut together just a touch slower. I think you even cut off your own audio at one point. Precious seconds that could make your next video better.
The better editing is, the less anyone realises it exists. Excluding those hilarious wtf interruptive moments. (They also need to have enough seconds screen time.)
No shade though. You've done a heck of a lot of work and time spent putting this together, OMG.
Added this to my psychology playlist, it's that insightful.
I am editing my story so this added an extra thought in my head for when I get to the part where MC meets the damsel in distress. On edits you ask yourself about how much you need to push the weight of certain [character] factoids. How much do I really need to push X? This video assures me: not much! I had it right my first take. The question came because I know some people get irritated when you never declare your character's labels and only imply them. "Erasure" is their point. You remind me that the counterpoint to their argument is accessibility. If the reader subs in the authorial intent, I should be happy that they enjoyed it that much as to make it their own. That will happen much better for my imaginary target audience without labels.
Note to self: stay subtle! Min labels, max cypher, add more juice. Let's go!
Sometimes the YT AI gives me videos I actually need. This has been one of them. Thanks for the discussion. I will definitely be checking out your other videos!
That's...an interesting analysis of Urusei Yatsura? Like, I do feel bad for Lum, but I think the show does make it apparent that she's also kinda crazy.
Ataru is a scum bag, but let's put a normal person in his shoes. You have a girlfriend that you're content with, but then all of a sudden due to miscellaneous circumstances you have to marry a royal woman from some foreign country off somewhere. To make matters more complicated she's obsessed with you, won't leave you alone, won't consider your feelings of not wanting to be with her despite constantly saying you're not interested and will still get frustrated when you don't reciprocate her feelings or say you're cheating despite not having a mutual attachment.
Urusei Yatsura characters are all equally flawed. It's just Ataru who's put on the biggest spotlight, but the show generally puts everyone on as the butt of the joke. Lum is faaaaar away from being an ideal girl. She is if you want to like her, but what if you don't? You end up in Ataru's situation where she moves into your house, your school, follows you around, messes up your personal relationships and will somehow come out of it looking like the victim.
Oh, and Urusei Yatsura is not the originator of the harem genre. Not by a long shot. It was more so a series of shows with love triangles becoming popular and that being played around with for a while. Then you have to throw in visual novels and dating sims into the mix too. Which, around there is where you want to look if you're wondering how we got harem genre at all.
That was deep... WHY DOES IT ONLY HAVE 2K VIEWS?!?!?!?!
I’m surprised that you didn’t mention Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul ONCE. Jessane made me want to curl up in a ball and cry, and I haven’t seen Better Call Saul yet, but I’ve heard that McWexler is ROUGH.
This is honestly why I vastly prefer queer romance
Part of that is definitely because i myself am queer, but also, I can't stand this perception of women
And I'd rather miss out on "great works of fiction" in favor of seeing yet another two dimensional woman fall for a painfully average guy. I've seen enough of that.
I love shoujo, but I don't love all the tropes that come with it.
I'd have to say, if it comes to reading romance manga, girls love is the only option for me, it's got flaws, yes, but it's not burdened with those sexist stereotypes i hate, it's not burdened with the weird fetishism clinging to boys love.
There's some insanely good girls love manga, but no one talks about it, gl barely gets adapted into anime either.
It's truly unfortunate
There's stories to tell that don't get told simply because it's not marketable to men, and straight women.
Hey! Could you recommend some good GL manga? All the ones I find either force romance between two characters that have nothing going on for them or are plain gross. The only one I actually enjoyed was Beging With Your Name but the romance never even started :/
@@Sofia-wh9jr OH MY GOD I WOULD LOVE TO
But tell me what you like, soft and fluffy, emotional and almost heartbreaking, Slice of life, Comedy, etc
I know several worth reading, but if you don't like unrealistically shoujo romance, or contrary, don't like to read stories that deeply relate to the lesbian experience, there'd be no point in recommending it
@@krussyarts Sorry for answering so late, RUclips didn't show me the notification! I am lesbian myself and would love some realistic slow burn, I don't mind fantasy or scy-fi, but stories based on reality are my favourite :D. Slice of life, soft and fluffy, and drama would be nice!
@@Sofia-wh9jr DEFINITELY read "run away with me girl"
It's a realistic romance between two girls who used to date in school, until one of them broke up and went off to marry a man and have kids. In present day the two reunite and it goes from there!
The art style is pretty unique and took some getting used to, but it's really good regardless
Also, since I'm just beginning my journey of familiarizing myself with more girls love, a friend of mine has a my anime list dedicated to listing and grading girls love manga. If you're interested in that, I can fetch the link for sure
For me a really good lampshades example of this trope is with Mahiru Shiina and Kazui Mukuhara from the anime music webseries/ARG MILGRAM (not to be confused with the actual experiment but it is based on it.)
Where Mahiru always had this fantastical idea of love like it’s portrayed in media and became super obsessive and controlling over her boyfriend and she was trying to live out that perfect fantasy. And it led her to becoming abusive without her even knowing it.
And with Kazui his story is focused around societal pressures to get into a heteronormative relationship and get married and have kids (especially at an older age). And because of these expectations but not wanting any of this he basically forces himself into an unloving marriage only to accustom himself to those norms and has to lie about everything.
I really like how in both of these stories it takes the media’s and society’s portrayal and love and shows just how easily something like that can create toxic relationships and pain and stuff like that.
Hey
I just found your channel with this video since I love UY and, even tho I know it's a bit problematic, it's still a very original and nuanced romance in its own way imo, so I was very curious to see what you had you had to say about it
Instead I ended up watching the whole video, your editing and humour are spot on! More importantly tho, you brought some nice arguments (and examples too)
Subbed ;)
Leaving this comment to boost the algorithm but honestly as a tom-boyish female born being living in an XL body, love the description as "bumpier" being factual but kinder for those who can't get rid of the bumps ((and for those living without bumps, you are still valid, just more flexible than others😅))
Science fiction loves the sexy born yesterday woman trope
Super interesting video👍👍 Do you know Monster and 20th Century Boys by Urasawa? And other of his works? I think they’re some of my favorites. So well written.
Billy Bat might be my fav from him but Monster is probably his best
The amount of empathy that you showed to women in this video as a man is genuinely impressive, and I really appreciate that. Not alot of men even try to empathize with female characters.
"That's so awful, he tried to murder his wife! But she gets away, thank goodness- wait the movie is about WHAT?!"
as an aromantic person this was extremely satisfying to watch
Thank you for the bit about Eve. They are guilty of the same thing.
as a woman who watches anime the worst episodes in all of those animes is the beach episodes as its all about the women's bodies
Any time anything is about Adam and Eve, my only response is what about Lilith?
A don't think Lilith is real because as far as a know there doesn't exist someone named lilth in the Bible it's kind like the name lucifer there doesn't exist someone named lucifer in the Bible the name lucifer It appeared in the King James Version of the Bible in Isaiah and before that in the Vulgate (the late-4th-century Latin translation of the Bible), not as the name of a devil but as the Latin word lucifer (uncapitalized), meaning "the morning star", "the planet Venus", or, as an adjective, "light-bringing" so a see lilth as the work of early Christians
Such a great video!! Also I will now be using silly billy behavior to describe romeo and juliet
10:24 tbf, at this time, it was expected to “work through” any problems. Even something as severe as attempted murder. Because…. Divorce wasn’t legal! So yeah, the way out was killing your partner. . Till your death do us part.
So seeing them work through this is “natural” when the alternative is… yeah
City Lights is still one of my faves. Charlie is not my type and this movie is not my thing but I still love it a lot. Sunrise, however, is confusing and strange to me. One of those movies that fallse into the "it's a classic and a lot of people love it but I just dont get it..."
Uk this notion is so well explained nd seen through in so many feminist circles cause that hurt us women nd so their in we examine why? Nd how it happens? From men perspective
U can find abt this stuff in feminist circles nd media....
Have fun reading✌
That Adam and eve part was super good!
when i saw punpun come up i screamed😭😭
God this video is so good
As a hardcore boy meets world I agree with every take you said about the show
"I can fix him" romances are so gross the lesson should be to fix yourself, and yes Megamind is one of the best kids movies ever
Overated af movie
@@joegambitt7414damn bro you really got them with the contrarian opinion, destroyed their whole claim even. Truly are the memelord.
@@joegambitt7414 I completely disagree, but okay.
“I can fix him” more like “I can manipulate him to suit me”
@@WindVillageeveryone manipulates people lmao
Bruh a narrative where a man almost kills a woman and then they fall back in love is truly so disgusting that it’s hard to believe.
And you think it would have at least taken place over more than a day! I was thinking months at least.
Oh you'll have a field day if i told you how many toxic korean romance manhwas story lines are exactly like this.
Oddly/sadly enough it is realistic. Tho it shouldn't be portrayed as good.
Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie
it's not hard to believe
To all the men out there: you’re not your relationship with a woman (or whatever), you’re ken-ough!
mens value doesn't change when he gets into a relationship. historically it's the woman's value that's based on whether or not she has a husband.
men will be fine
@@daphys_computershow2054 totally agree! …although my comment was a Barbie movie inside joke ;p have a nice day!
@@daphys_computershow2054I would argue than men also struggle with that historically, it’s just not as difficult due to women also having to deal with misogyny on top of it. Men (speaking from the perspective of countries like the UK and Australia since I haven’t got much experience outside of that) were and in many places now are expected to marry a woman and have children to continue the family bloodline, those who fail to comply for whatever reason (such as being queer, not wishing to have kids, uninterested in a relationship at all etc) were ridiculed.
None of this downplays the very real blame that gets placed on women for this ofc, more to show how much this model hurts everyone involved
As an ace person I tend to not like romance, but after I got home from watching the Barbie movie, I sort of wished Barbie and Ken end up together in the movie, or at least say that they’re taking a break from each other until they figure each other out until they’re content with themselves.
its ironic cause I think the movie was the only one where they don’t romantically end up together, or one of them confesses not to have any feelings for the other. Its also ironic because I never even like Barbie/Ken, because they never had that much personality, but in the movie they were given a personality (or a chance to) have a personality outside of their partners, I think that might be why I like them from the movie specifically. Not that they need to end up together
@@steampunk-llama these are very good points usually people from many sides are not ready to speak about… to me patriarchy is not so much about men rule just because they are men (that would be an androarchy to be precise) but powerful men who historically used coercive tactics to undermine others (men, women, anyone really)… maybe you don’t fancy using the word patriarchy (neither do i to be honest) but yep, everybody gets messed up because of these things in their own particular way ;)
The pressure and focus on romance is so disturbing. It shouldn't be seen as a flaw when people (or characters) are single and uninterested in romance
disturbing?
War crimes*. I sleep!
Ppl holding hands* Oh no?
Romance is a base desire. You can say the same about the pressure / obsession our culture has with sex, beauty, eating, protection, belonging, power, etc. Romance is a base desire as much as independence is. Barbie is also disturbing on her own, she just swings to a different side of the pendulum. Maybe think why you are disturbed by Ken being so desperate for a relationship and what that says about you and how you see the world. I personally found Barbie more disturbing than Ken, and I am sure that also says something about me. Art reflects life.
^ Replies with zero reading comprehension
What?
@@jesterdays The dude had a pretty reasonable and well thought out take, most human beings seek romance. Most human beings seek a ideal life.
There is no real pressure to focus on romance, it is just something that makes characters easily relatable for most human beings.
Now in real life that pressure comes in the form of empathy (my relationship makes me happy, without it I would be sad, you need the same thing)
Can you engage with the subject beyond a cringe meme?
three decades of immersion in a media that tells the same story over and over again and only just now after watching your video have I realised that "fairly average man meets Pretty Girl who talks him into taking risks and going on adventures, destroying his safe-yet-boring existence yet giving his life Meaning" is just the Fall From Eden with a coat of paint...
Works also for women and bad into good guys trope
It's a damn good story idea then to survive so long.
the ultimate misogyny flavored trope
this also just boils down past gender roles
Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope
I always find it funny how so many people never realized that we were supposed to view Scott and Ramona as bad people lol
I think the concept of the antihero is largely entirely misunderstood.
People always think that having someone taking bad decisions as a protagonist would either somehow glorify those decisions or something like that, when in reality these kinds of shows or books try to shade light on the shades of grey that is human decision making and instead of "justifying" bad decisions it just wants to protray the way people got to make those bad decisions
I mean, just look at the controversy around the Netflix show "You" for example with there apparently being some kind of cult thinking Joe would be in the right or something (despite it literally being the point of the show that *he's not*)
It feels like people need to project themselves onto protagonists and aren't able to view stories outside of how they personally can relate to them...? So of course antihero protagonists don't make sense to them.
@@prisleI feel like show bojack horseman was better at this tbh
@@skromnyashahave you actually read the Scott Pilgrim comic?
I guess, I was one of few to see that Scott and Ramona were actually the same - flawed, egoistic people who hurted everyone around them.
And do you remember Roxanna Richter, one of Ramona's "evil exes"? Ramona literally queerbaited her just for experimentation and then dumped the poor girl and treated her past romance with Roxanna as "just a sexy phase".
As a bi woman, I felt bad for Roxanna, and didn't like that Ramona treated her that bad. Roxanna had a full right to hate her.
@@peachesandcream22 "one of the few" including anyone who has finished the comic where it's very clear and the main focus of both of their character arcs.
This is why there are a lot of "nice guys". Who think kindness towards women is transactional and that if they are "kind" once they owe them. But it isn't really kindness if you expect something in return and most of the time their version of kindness is not beating them. and when it doesn't work out for them they turn to insult and all of a sudden they thought they were ugly all along and them begging for sex was somehow a service to them lmao. Or even worse the stalk them.
This 💪
Hetero relationships are almost always transactional because of patriarchal our world is, esp white patriarchal brainwashing.
Wait till you meet the real nice guy....... - hang in there, nice.............. but cool.... *_the hero of legend._*
@@yourknightmanny I don't need to "hang in there" lol I'm married and calling him a hero of legend would make him cringe so hard he'd vomit lol. dating wasn't hard for me because it is very easy to weed out the truly good people form the "nice guys/girls" if some one expects something in return for their kindness they aren't actually kind. because real kindness is just doing the right thing because it's the right thing and only needing the satisfaction of knowing they did something good as payment for it. most normal people practice real kindness everyday it's kind of not hard at all to find a decent person.
@@faithhelsel4473 What naivety is there in not knowing that most incels who called themselves that are old farts by now and the ones now who do not know of the origins of the phrase are troubled by that since they themselves do not fall into its bigoted origins seek to make less out of human desire to get rid of desire that is understandable but lacking social cues to get over their hurdle? Some didn't have friends; some were friends with girls but didn't have the courage to put their feelings out there.
I've always had a bit of a disdain for how most shows have the main female character and the main male character end up together, and the whole notion that men and women can't just be close friends but HAVE to have romantic feelings for each other.
The reason for this is that i, a girl, am best friends with a boy. We've been friends since kindergarten, sat next to each other in nearly every class throughout middle school and were generally very friendly with each other, though it more had a vibe of siblings picking on one another.
Our school mates took all this as evidence that we were dating, to the point that one boy, who was two years older than us and who i didn't know basically at all, gave me the nickname "[friend's] woman". "[FRIEND'S] WOMAN". I was like 11 or 12.
It took me actually getting a boyfriend and being seen with him in public for these idiots to leave me and my friend alone.
I get what you mean, even tho Sometimes I really like when the main characters who are close friends fall in love and get togheter after creating a deep bond first, because I think that’s how you build a Healthy relationship (IMO) and it goes against the “love at first sight” trope, wich I personally hate.
I think it works well As long as they also have other close friends of the opposite gender without any romantic interest involved.
I think that’s a good compromise, best of both worlds, that way you can show they can also have a healthy platonic relationship with the opposite gender, without wanting to get togheter, while still having a healthy, more believable, not rushed romantic relationship with their love interest.
@@rebecca_rh ye, i agree.
Just write your own story.
If you don't like a writer having two characters fall in love.
@@lephinor2458 Oh shut up, you know exactly what she's saying, and shes allowed to express an opinion of something thats very common in media
Yeah your right, I'm also pretty sick of this, it happens in a lot of games I play. Male and Female character EXISTS, and then they HAVE to love eachother because they are male and female, a lot of the time the romance isnt even built up, they jsut start saying they love eachother and I dont know why theres no flirting, its just the guy was nice to her or she was nice to him, or they are both "nice" people or whatever. It sucks
In Jewish writings Adam is at fault because he told her not to touch the tree when he was only commanded not to eat from it. So when the snake was like "well you touched it and you didn't die" she thought Adam had lied to her. So the lesson is don't talk down to a woman and give her all the facts, also extremism breeds sin.
I like this concept very much. The concept of that one who gets taught an unnecessarily heavier version of the rules becomes more vulnerable to temptation to break them.
I wish more people realized this! It's my favorite narration of the Fall precisely because it's the only one that doesn't blame the woman, and I hate seeing it misrepresented so often
Editbecausenowmultiplepeoplehavemisinterpretedmywords: I like this story because Eve isn't the scapegoat for Adam, nor is Adam's curse afflicted on him by anyone but himself. It also doesn't make women out to be evil/stupid/etc.
Interesting. In the Qura’n, the fault is theirs both.
@@callieanderson644regardless, they were both at fault. It is has always been both of their fault. Jewish exact translation/interpretation or Christian version. Whew! What a relief! 🙄
The point behind the Jewish interpretation is interesting and gives another take on a deep meaning though.
How the hell did you come to that conclusion
This is why I like studio Ghibli films as it doesn't have forced romances. ( I'm hopeless romantic but sadly a lot if romance tropes are harmful and warp your perspective ) And Hayao Miyazaki never creates two dimensional women tropes but as self sufficient people with lives and goals and may need a friend but never a savior.
I also love that he made girls, girls. They were self-sufficient, and feminine, and amazing and beautiful for so many reasons that don't detract from their femininity, and all this without needing to sexualize them! One of the women I always looked up to from childhood was Sosuke's mom from Ponyo. A total badass, the best mom in the world
Fr. Hayao Miyazaki knows how to write women and characters in general. My favorite example of this is in his first movie (before the creation of Studio Ghibli), Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro. In the manga and anime series of Lupin the Third, there's this girl named Fujiko who was created in the image of what the creator and men in the studio wanted her to be. In the early days of the series, she was a girlboss dont get me wrong but they did her mad dirty with all the sexism and misogyny. And yet, Miyazaki in 1979 (who also previously worked on a few episodes of the anime) created a version of Fujiko that wasn't written to be Lupin's partner (in fact in the movie she states that they are no longer together and that it was her that left him). And even the "damsel in distress" character, Clarisse, wasn't even that much of a damsel in distress. She liked Lupin probably because he saved her but I'm so greatful Miyazaki didn't make them end up together. And on top of that, the manga and anime usually depict Lupin as a terrible guy but Miyazaki made him actually likeable (although I myself like a few versions of Lupin in the anime). If you haven't seen it, I definitely would recommend it.
@@callieanderson644I mean Anna from "When Marnie was there" was still more tomboyish and couldnt relate to girl typical things but I like that depiction of not fitting into a gender role as well once in a while since such girls exist too.
Maybe that's the reason why I actually loved some romance in some studio Ghibli movies, but romance in most other movies and TV-shows very rarely appeal to me...
Also his Ghibli boys has the most respectful and competent roles on the film too. They are flawed but they have conviction and open to change for the better.
Edit: just realized that the thing that differentiate them to most male leads was their softness. There's just something gentle about them, not the usual 'gentle men' but something soft, safe, and warm.
Another lesson people need to learn is how to separate fiction from reality in general. You can learn important themes and messages from stories, but you should never view them as step-by-step guides on how to live your life and develop your own personality. Fiction is always far more exaggerated and unrealistic than any actual real life scenario.
This right here is facts separate Fiction from Reality, a lot of things are exaggerated in Fiction because it’s just that not real, the people that act like oh I should live my life like a Cartoon or an Anime and let’s be honest both are just for entertainment that’s it I don’t even think their necessarily to learn lessons from because how many people act like how Spider man does when he has problems or an MC in an Anime talking about the power of friendship and saves the day and gets his girlfriend.
So I think people need to stop applying things they see from TV to real life I would expect that from a child who doesn’t know any better, not older people who should know better than that and know how to act.
Yeah that’s true
But unfortunately some fiction IS meant to reinforce or feed into harmful standards or ideas
But many people can’t read beyond subtext either, they see something they like
Or is beneficial to their world view
And that’s really all they need
Doesn’t matter if you tell people not think women are slaves to men
If they binge content that reinforces that
It will influence how they views relationships
No motivation to think beyond that unless the media literally is telling you to
16:53 I'm so glad that Johnny Bravo subverted the "I Dream of Jeannie" trope and had the genie imprison Johnny in the toaster because he kept trying to sexually harass.
Lol yeah. She actually has a personality other than generic pretty girl
Johnny Bravo is a weird case, because he bothers women a lot while also being disdainful of people who try to take advantage of women. There's an episode about a guy who talks about how he lies to women to get them to implicitly sleep with him, and Johnny tells the women he's dating to keep them from being taken advantage of.
@@TheAzulmagiadoesn't make him less predatory tho lol. Just because he has disdain for other men who harass women doesn't excuse his behaviour at all.
@@pussydestroyer69285 Oh, I wasn't saying it did. I was just commenting on how strangely he's handled.
@@TheAzulmagiayeah in The Sensitive Male episode
What I hate about most romance content is that most relationships are toxic! They romanticize abuse. And it's all fun and games until it wraps your sense of love and you end up in bad relationships.
Healthy couples are harder to find.
It's because we've been conditioned to lie in even casual friendships and then shame people for not meeting our standards. Like we can be outright awful to each other. Not realizing none of us had it figured out when we were younger.
The kissing booth in a nutshell.
Malheureusement cette vidéo le fait ironiquement aussi car elle applique le double standard.
I don’t know which is worse, the manic pixie dream girl or the born sexy yesterday girl😂
The born yesterday one ... That one is insulting, they want a KID, a dumb easy to manipulate KID with great body
I mean they're frequently the same person.
@@KartarNighthawkThis exactly. They usually use the “childlike wonder” of the born sexy yesterday girl to fuel the manic pixie part. It’s super gross and weird.
Are there really THAT many dudes out there who fetishize naïvety that they can take advantage of?
@@jacksont9455 Sad reality of cute is new sexy.
@Nobodyinparticular000 Whoo boy. That's also it's can of worms.
you call this forced romance.. most people call this historical misogyny..
Couldn’t it be both
Two things can be true at once
"You're a VICTIM."
Whatever you tell yourself bud
@@Joeeyyyyy its both
Man, this is so well articulated. The way these stories perpetuate unrealistic ideals and expectations to men hurts men as well as the women in their life resulting in lonely angry people. We need more stories about self love and self fulfillment where men don't base their worth on the woman having into their arm.
It's a story!!!! Sorry that everything isn't realistic.
@@lephinor2458 Unfortunately some people take stories too seriously sometimes, just look at the disappointment surrounding high school musical vs actual real life high school experience. The number of people who are bitter and complain how their teen life isn't like the ones in tv and movies is sad.
The problem is that people have been raised on stories since the tv entered the average home. You have hours of input that repeat certain patterns in your head that ultimately shape your perspective.
There’s a reason beyond hum-buggery that our ancestors used to consider people always reading fiction to be ridiculous and air-headed people. If your fantasy experts is much greater than your real world experience, the former becomes the direction.
Knowing the stories are fake doesn’t change the fact that your internal logic is being compromised to accommodate what you’re regularly hearing/seeing every day.
@lephinor2458
Attention everyone this person is clearly biased and is in multiple comments being defensive and arguing in bad faith.
@@lephinor2458 Stories dont have to be realistic, but when the same tropes keep playing over and over thousands of times with not nearly enough variation to counter it, its gonna affect many people on a subconscious level and start to affect how they see the world, what they expect in life and find important. It doesnt have to be realistic, but the norms for romance should be broken much ofter than they do. Like showing more unreciprocated love for characters that are actually good (which Im sure happens a lot in real life) and having main characters not end up paired at the end of each movie, but they can still find happiness regardless.
As an asexual aromantic person, I approve this message
Thanks for all the support! I'm glad to be joined with at least 40 other AroAces. Let us fight as one to take down forced romance!!
seconded by anouther ace/aro entity
Thirded by a fellow aroace being!!
Fourthed (?) by another aroace creature
And fifthed by another fellow aroace.
Sixthed! Love my fellow ace/aro peeps!!
I’ve also noticed men who like “fantasy” or subservient women tire of them fairly quickly. Which is not only painful for the women discarded, but borderline dangerous.
Yeahh!! bcz ultimately a human cannot function on fantasies neither can they properly belong witha person who isnt their equal. And the concept simply starts to crack.
Man made laws can only go so far, natural laws prevail.
they truly do only like the ‘chase’ of getting them, not the actual women themselves
Judging roughly 3. 5 billion people (minus how many of them are kids) by........ anecdotes? is completely ridiculous.
@@thotslayer6946 they’re not talking about ALL men here, only about a specific group of men that enjoy fantasizing about these kinds of women and how they usually grow bored of them and discard them like dolls
@@N30-LUCIF3R They're talking about all men that prefer a certain type of woman. Quite the unjustified broad stroke, don't you think?
How is her statement any better than "Girls love bad boys until they ditch them during pregnancy."
I always thought my contempt for a lot of anime, even when I was a preteen weeb, was because I’m a girl. Like “of course I don’t like these problematic trope, I’m a girl and this is for dudes.” So hearing you talk about it really caught me off guard. I haven’t heard many men speak negatively on anime’s problematic tropes, especially eechi harems, is so refreshing.
Right?! Honestly I was just amazed by this man's empathy the whole video.
"ItS jUSt FaNTasY! DoN'T tAkE iT sO SerIoSlY!!" - The usual justification we get
@@mittenista 🤢 Especially in regards to those 100+ year old lolis. It’s so gross.
As a girl who loves anime (not the ecchi ones ofc) it's very saddening how poorly represented women are in anime!
But that mostly happens in shounen, seinin and male audience targeted animes. There are plenty of good female leads and romances in shoujo and OF COURSE STUDIO GHIBLI ❤
@@junainahrahman4156 Sadly, I see less and less shoujo these days. It's mostly harem or harem adjacent. Even genres that were once primarily targeted towards girls, like mahou shoujo, are getting ecchi-fied :(
Also, as a woman recently being a sexual/ideal fantasy of a man, then turned on me just because he used me, got bored of me etc and me being a hopeless romantic... The green haired anime refrence is helping my spirit heal.
So you didn't save sex till marriage, then got surprised when he didn't commit. Lol
Just keep sleeping with men until one stays. Good luck not waiting till marriage or at least a long time deep into the partnership.
@@christiantaylor1495 victim blaming isn't right bro, what about the one who keep pressing women to have sex with them and then keep telling them they will never meet someone who will marry them becauce they don't want to have sex before marriage? Do you know how manipulative some people can be to get what they want. How ignorant to comment such thing, how old are you?
based@@christiantaylor1495
@@christiantaylor1495 they never said they had sex. Look at how quickly you turned on this person
@@christiantaylor1495 Bruh, ya don't even know their story and you're bitching at them like this? You're not helping in the slightest, only being an asshole.
This is why I think the ideas of "leading someone on" or "being friendzoned" are bullshit. Women are allowed to be nice to you without being attracted to you, and being friends with a woman isn't a downgrade/loss.
This. Friendzone is such a stupid concept, like the girl just *have* to be with a guy because he likes her? Total bullshit.
@@henriqueabreu9706 Friendzoned is not saying the woman HAS to be with the guy. it means the woman isn't interested in a romantic relationship SO she wants them to stay friends. hence the name...
women get friendzoned too. hello??
Oh, the "friendzone" exists. It's just a boundary you need to respect. Bitching about it constantly is what makes you a "nice guy" and an entitled asshole
FR. Being friends is NOT a downgrade. If you truly like someone, you'd enjoy their company and hanging out with them even if it's not romantic.
Friendship is such a beautiful thing, regardless of gender. I am genuinely convinced that people who see friendship as a downgrade are just salty that the person they're pursuing don't want to have sex with them. Which is most likely the very thing they were after all along.
@@mintallylost222 I know this is NOT what you're saying, but I think it's something that needs to be stated cuz a lotta people get this shit confused.
Not wanting to stay friends is okay. Just because you want something other than friendship doesn't make you shallow. when pursuing a romantic relationship, I believe STARTING OFF as friends is a plus cuz you get to know the person first and can then decide whether or not you wanna take it to the next level. I agree with the spending time with someone part, but I also believe its okay to not wanna stay friends once you realize they don't feel the same way. it sounds like an awkward situation, if you ask me.
Why 'stay friends' when that's clearly not what I wanted? the other person clearly isn't interested, so why stay if you truly don't want to? Those feelings take time to disappear and acting as if though it didn't happen makes things awkward. ya know what I'm sayin'?
I remember I got my period one night. I started vomiting, shitting my guts out and even wetting my pants from intense pain. It smelled awful. I almost fainted. I'm pretty sure this would shatter a guy's image of me. Women are always expected to be perfect beings that fix men. In short, I feel like my vomiting and intense pooping episode would convince a guy to breakup with me pretty fast
Have you checked that out? It sounds like you have some issue if that's happening
@@iexist1300no man, that’s just periods. I never vomit but I do faint.
@@iexist1300are u a man? 💀 Periods are painful,, some people just have it really bad
@@eden5243 I am a guy, but from what I've heard alot of actual medical problems are ignored because people act like it's just normal.
Things like vomiting and what's mentioned here sounds a bit more extreme than just being painful.
@@iexist1300Periods can be really bad but also completely tame. You can tell the difference because the symptoms are specific and contained. It could be perceived as rude to suggest that someone’s period anecdote is based on ignorance of their own body. Important reading note might be that the event in question is described as more singular than chronic.
I'm not that familiar with Peanuts, but as an ace person, I resonated with Schroeder quicker than _any_ explicitly asexual character 😂. Heck, this whole video gives aro/ace vibes & I love it. Great essay.
Hell yeah dude, I'm regrettably very allosexual but the part of me that never wanted to be that way identified with Schroeder immediately, he's still one of my favorite characters in all of media
banger video. you really nailed it with this one; depictions of romances like these can be harmful to the way our brains develop. not only can they cause idealization of the people around us, but they can cause devaluation of ourselves when we can't be in or don't want to be in relationships. it's important to go out and experience life by yourself to fully identify what it is that you want in life. if you're depressed and demotivated and feeling unhappy with yourself, a partner will not fix you. especially because you're not broken in the first place. finding yourself is a natural part of growing up.
(very glad i found your channel, thanks youtube algorithm!)
When you brought up Urusei Yatsura I literally shrieked! It’s one of my favorite anime/manga ever, it’s absolutely wonderful!
Urusei Yatsura is so wonderful not just because of the nuance you bring up, but because I think Lum is *far* from the perfect girl. I mean she’s great, don’t get me wrong- but part of what makes her such a fun character how her charm mixes so well with her flaws! She’s incredibly short tempered and insistent on things going her way, often to obsessive degrees. Of course she has every right to be angry at Ataru for leering at other girls… but she’s also incredibly stubborn. I mean the girl is a princess after all, she is used to things going her way. The anime doesn’t really showcase this as much, but the manga gradually showcases more of Lum not just caring about Ataru, but other humans as well (there’s an episode/chapter that’s all about Lum training to fight against some girl’s bullies without her electric powers, iirc).
Ataru is also incredibly nuanced, especially in the manga. Yes, we are supposed to be angry at his skirt-chasing tendencies and general jerky attitude… but we also kinda see that more than anything, he’s incredibly lonely. He has bad luck, his parents have always kinda been crappy towards him… it’s very easy to analyze that Ataru’s desperation for girlfriends is out of this “quantity over quality” because if he disappoints one girl (as he seems to disappoint everyone)… he can just move onto the next one. Lum, to him, is the embodiment of genuine love and commitment- which is incredibly scary to him. Over the course of the manga, he becomes less and less of a skirt-chaser, realizing he genuinely loves Lum and wants to spend his life with her. We also see the more positive sides of him, such as helping random aliens (even if it’s to get them out of his hair sometimes), and a ghost girl pass on.
Tldr, UY is so good not just because of how it deconstructed the harem anime trope before it even started, but because the two leads aren’t just your ideal tropes- they’re actual characters with a lot of layers and complexity if you dig a little deeper.
I'm glad someone pointed this out. Also, it's not like he wanted to be with her in the first place. It was through a misunderstanding that he was stuck with her and he had to deal with her possessiveness.
@@randyjake6226 Admittedly yeah- I think there were times that Ataru did actually sit Lum down and explain it was a misunderstanding- but she’s a stubborn girl.
Honestly part of me wonders Lum used Ataru to a degree to like- stay on Earth?? To learn more about it or something? There’s also the aspect where she just threw herself into the new relationship (maybe to get out of her old one with Rei???). Maybe she’s even using the ideal of a housewife to get away from royal responsibilities??
The interesting thing is that as UY started, Lum’s base character (her values and motivations) were… inconsistent and shallow. We never really get why she was so insistent on Ataru being her “darling,” especially with how much we see him being a lil shit.
You’re so right it’s so freaking amazing
I like Urusei Yatsura, because there characters are not what they seem to be at the 1st glance.
Lum is "perfect girl", who is actually a spoiled princess brat with short temper.
Ataru is a skirt-chaser, but he actually has a heart of gold he tries to hide.
Ataru's female friend is a typical "girl next door", but she's actually smart and very strict.
That black-hair guy is an elegant gentleman, but he's actually as same skirt-chaser, as Ataru, but more mannered to hide it.
Lum's uncle looks like a cute baby, but he's actually an adult who likes to torture Ataru and gets away with nothing cause of his baby appearance.
Etc.
@@peachesandcream22 Hold on do you mean Ten?! Ten is legit Lum’s baby cousin- idk where you got the idea he’s an adult
I see a lot of young men these days talking about how men can "love" a woman so long as she's nice enough and attractive enough like it's something virtuous. "Men are simple, just don't be a bitch, that's it. We aren't complicated like women." That's not love... thats not a relationship. That's just wanting a female shaped cutout to take up the female shaped space you created in your life.
You got to think they jack themselves up to this predicament because sex is covering their true sight. A human being whos perishable is no different to you.
"you created"
lol. As though the desire to have a sexual/romantic partner is some concocted and invented desire on the part of those who have it instead of just a fundamental aspect of mammalian biology.
I think that's a pretty broad and one-sided interpretation of what the sentiment can entail. "Men are simple, just don't be a b****" sounds to me like it comes from guys who want straightforward interactions and a mature woman capable of communicating her wants and needs. There are so many guys who've been in emotionally abusive relationships and, if they don't end up indicting all women because of their shitty ex, they're going to look for women who actually respect them.
"We're not complicated like women" sounds sexist on the surface, and in many instances it definitely is. But if you look at male sexuality vs. female sexuality, male sexuality is much more an ooga-booga phenomenon than female sexuality. It's true that on dating apps women rate men more harshly on looks than men rate women, but that's not how women prioritize looks. A girl will pick an average-looking guy with rizz over the quiet chad, because there's nothing beneath that chad's rippling muscles. Women also tend to be a lot more discerning about potential partners than guys because
1. Guys are way stronger than her, and if she picks a bad dude, he can easily hurt her.
2. Women have a lot more options than men and can afford to choose because men come to them. Men in the overwhelming majority of cases have to approach women. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been hit on by a girl in my adult life.
Us guys can be dumb, and a girl can hit on us and we'll never notice until days, months, and even years afterwards. Saying men aren't complicated, and female sexuality is more complicated has truth to it.
@Leitis_Fella problem is the guys I see saying things like "men are simple" are NOT going after mature women, straight forward women, or even women that respect them.
Maturity, honesty, good communication, mutual respect, non toxic behavior are all wonderful things to look for in a partner and I'd encourage any guy to put those at the top of his list. "Female and nice enough" are not those things. That's the problem. Guys set their standards way too low and somehow think they set them high?
That's a fair point. I think on the extreme end of things, a lot of this toxic behavior is observed in both men and in women. Some things, of course, are more common for one sex than the other. However, that's a conversation for another day. I also find the gender war bs that gender-relations tend to fall into extremely unproductive, so thanks for being civil :/
When I try to understand the mentality you're describing, I can't help but feel sorry for those guys even under the layer of insufferable behavior. People are born as blank slates and are shaped by their environment. Ultimately, it comes from the innate desire to be loved, but their problem is they have a bad perception of love. I don't think films that the video describe really shape people, but the ideas and themes are absolutely a reflection of cultural trends and zeitgeists.
Six years ago, I kind of had the opposite problem to the guys you're describing, lol. I actively set out to find a high-value person, found a mature and sweet girl who had everything I was looking for, (or so it seemed). I got caught in a cycle of limerance and projected what I wanted her to be onto her, instead of seeing her as she was. I drove her away. It took over a year of self-reflection to realize my mental process was that in searching for a high-value girl, I found that framing someone with unrealistic expectations leads to heartbreak.
this was an amazing video essay, its always so eye-opening to hear how misogynistic ideals have affected men and you illustrate/verbalise your points so well!
IT'S TWO PEOPLE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND TRYING TO FIND WAYS TO UNDERSTAND AND SHOW IT. If you don't like it don't watch it
@lephinor2458
Okay, but for often than not it's shown it very toxic ways.
Also this toxic romance stuff has absolutely saturated all forms of media, so there's not many places to NOT see this.
@@JDReC100 All of these are stories the romance shouldn't be ultra realistic and fit the norms of today's world.
@lephinor2458
Attention everyone this person is clearly biased and is in multiple comments being defensive and arguing in bad faith. Don't waste your time on this troll. This is a repeat message because I value people time. Continue to call out patriachy bullshit ✊
@@asterya6913 someone can be biased and still have a point. for example, I can call you out for having a bias for the side this essay takes, does that make your opinion invalid? And about arguing in bad faith, isn't it natural for someone who is in the 'devils advocate' to take strong anti positions to the points made in the essay? Nothing about what he has done is 'bad faith argumentation', which is actually when you hold a pretense for arguing for something you believe when in actuality you hold no true feelings on the matter at all. And also being in multiple comment threads has nothing to do with the credibility of his points. That just shows that they are engaged with the video.
As a feminist but romantic at heart. This was such a beautiful video essay on some of the on it observations of the human condition. You also added to my Playlist or Wikipedia down the rabbit hole addition of movies and pop culture references. Thank you
Feminists will never really have romance in real life.
@@sonatestd2085 Genuinely bizarre statement.
@@megamillion5852 I must add that lesbian relationships might be possible, but you won't have any real relationships with men.
@@sonatestd2085Why because you said it. If someone have romance in their it has everything to do with two indivudual who fall it not one Patrachical man can control. Patrachical man never find love
@@learningisliving1161 irrespective of the man being patriarchal or egalitarian feminists won't find any connection with mentally stable men.
oyasumi punpun is such an incredible work of art. i read it a few years back and felt nothing but crippling loneliness and emptiness after reading it. loved this video!!
Weakness
About the Adam and eve thing. In the original translation it says: "God took Adam's other half to make him less lonely." As if taking a part of you you'll naturally be attracted to cause you deeply seek reunion with your other self. Adam and eve were so to speak 2 halves of one whole. And so I hate the translation cause Eve's signifigance was reducted down to a bone rather than the entire half of Adam himself. But then again that bible adaptation was written to reduce women any way it could so no wonder. There's many more aspects of wrong translations there mind you. It's very interesting.
There are actually two creation myths wrapped into one in Genesis. One where God makes man and woman in his image at the same time. And the second myth in which Eve is created from Adam‘s rib as a counterpart for him specifically. This has always fascinated me and is probably due to there being several sources that inspired Genesis.
@@FrozenAfricaPrincess That's the story of Lilith, Adam's first wife.
Oh yeah. And *ezer-kenegdo* (translated “helpmeet”) doesn’t mean servant; it’s difficult to translate the idea but it really boils down to “character foil and battle buddy all rolled into one.”
Moreover the tone in the Hebrew strongly insinuates that Adam was right there listening in when the serpent tempter Eve - like he was waiting to see what she would do. And then when caught, Adam not only blamed Eve for giving him the fruit: but blamed God did giving him Eve.
That being said, the traditional way the narrative has been presented to generations is what sets the tone for the stories to follow, as he said.
The bible as a whole is VERY problematic, so I personally don't value it whatsoever
@@zillvaThen you don't value Western Civilization whatsoever.
What I’ve never been able to understand, in both media and life in general, is why it seems like a man and a woman can’t just be friends and have to be together. It never applies to two men or two women. One of the greater examples I’ve seen of this in my life was when two of my past teachers (male and female) were close. Almost everyone I spoke to straight off the bat thought they were a couple. When the female teacher announced she had a partner and they were getting married, people were actually mad that she and the male teacher weren’t dating. Ridiculous.
Romantic relationships are quite adjacent to the construct of marriage, which is a societal control device. The whole culture around it is shaped to nudge people into conformity. Those absorbed in it tend to view non-compliance as an invitation to nudge harder, converting any frustration they experience whilst doing so into irritation, outright bewilderment or even hostility.
May I add that folks need to stop believing the lie that there’s someone for everyone
Yep, as a woman with a physical disability from birth, I think people need to get comfortable with the idea of being alone and building a fulfilling life outside of a romantic relationship. I've had to because legally if you marry or even live with a partner you lose the income you need to survive. Aside from that, I've learned that many people who are able-bodied don't want a romantic partner who happens to be disabled.
@@happyascheese Yep. Cause they see disabled people as "unnormal", "sick", and "a burden". Ableism is still very popular in many countries.
I don't think the problem is being a romantic. I think it's that people expect love to be effortless as long as you're with the right person. But true love is a group of choices rather than a feeling. Half the act of falling in love is the willingness to fall in love. If you look at it through that lense, there is someone for everyone.
@@peachesandcream22 Well now hold on, they are objectively not normal, maybe not 'sick' but still a burden. And being a burden isn't a bad thing, it's just a thing we all have to deal with, as we are all a burden on each other and that's part of being in a healthy relationship. You're acting as if having a preference for people who aren't disabled is some kind of 'ism', when in reality, there are people who do fall in love with disabled people despite their burdens, and not finding them desirable isn't prejudice or nefarious, sometimes the thought just never occurs to them that they would even fall for someone who's disabled in some way.
Yup. Lots of people are not interested in relationships at all. And on top of that, it’s literally statistically impossible for everyone to find a match anyway because there’s a disproportionate number of men, women and people in general that would be compatible.
A common misconception people have about the bible is that it only blames eve and is therefore sexist but if you actually read it Adam is JUST as MUCH to blame as Eve for eating the apple during the whole thing when the snake was tempting Eve, Adam was just chilling there. People just suck at reading they just gloss over this part and only blame the woman when Adam was just there not doing anything, when he should've. They were both equally to blame.
Reference (Part of Genesis 3:6 she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.)
@@AmoebaInk Does this means that nobody can escape shipping?
@@Phantom86dabsolutely noone and nothing
Plus (I don't remember where, I'm not good with addresses, please don't hate me) where it says we inherit our brokenness from our fathers, and that's why Jesus was perfect because He didn't have a human father (obviously He was also perfect because He's literally God, but he's God and also human, but not a demigod because He's 100% both and it gets really difficult to explain and understand and I'm not entirely sure that I understand it completely myself)
Basically what I'm saying is that Adam and Eve were both at fault but if Adam hadn't sinned (which it also says somewhere was inevitable anyway but we're speaking in theory here) we would all be fine
Let's be honest, a lot of core Christian canon has nothing to do with the bible and comes from a dude 500 years later
@@crazydragy4233 If you're talking about Plato, and his ideas of the spiritual realm which influenced Dante Alighieri's writings (Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradisio, and the Divine Comedy), which then went on to fundamentally influence how people think about what the Bible says regarding what heaven, hell, angels, and demons are, then you are correct. If you're talking about anything else, I wouldn't say something like that lightly without saying which "dude" taught about that, why it's different from what the Bible actually says, and so on.
i completely agree about anime having unsettling and problematic tropes. never heard anyone else bring up these issues
Their are some that are unsettling or problematic but the one he was talking about with the romance doesn’t matter it’s exaggerated and hopefully people have enough common sense to not think that a cartoon portray’s how actual people would act
This is why I appreciate School Days's ending as I grow older.
@@Skye2993 from experience, they do not have this common sense. i dated one of these loser weeb guys. it was BAD.
@@katierobbins1961 I can’t really blame the Anime, I blame the individual that apparently couldn’t differentiate cartoons are cartoons and aren’t real or portray real life, I’m not going to stick a bomb in my mouth and think I’ll be fine like the Looney Tunes, that’s just idiotic thinking, he definitely knew better and chose to behave like a jackas* these are people that’s choosing to act like they do,
Trust me not every weeb or Anime watcher behaves like that ma’am or sir I watch Anime but I know for a fact that it’s cartoons and it’s purely for entertainment and fun not to act out in real life like some looney bin.
@@katierobbins1961I've read a post once of a girlfriend who has a weeb bf. He literally thought anime hentai tropes were a real thing that real women do. It's sad.
First of all: please, for the love of GOD give into that little part of yourself that wants to make a Boy Meets World retrospective 🙏🙏🙏
Second of all: wow, between this and the Barbie video you have quickly become one of my favorite video essayists. I'm super excited for what you have to say next 💖
It really is a rarity to have friendships just stay that way. It can be so much fun exploring deep friendships between a boy and a girl, 9/10 it'll be written better than most forced romance out there if the mentallity on romance doen't change.
Heck, even same sex friendships are tainted by fanbases desperate for gay representation that they end up shipping them, even if they clearly show no romantic interest in each other (they could still be gay, but not with each other) or clearly one/both of them is/are hetero.
There's times I also am guilty of this, but only when I see something in the characters (and if I love both characters individually and with each other).
This is the type of stuff that we all need to learn. As a female, I had to learn this and I personally wouldnt want somone to be as enchanted with me as well. I want a friend that I can love not an attatched arm. Ive seen many people hurt by romcoms. We have to learn the differences between whats allowed in fiction and real life. Real life isnt a fantasy no latter what we do and thats ok, we just have to make the best of it.
(I know you didn't cover these characters in depth and I'm just nitpicking what amounts to a 3second screen grab but I'm gonna say this anyway) Clementine from Eternal Sunshine and Summer from 500 Days of Summer don't fall into the 'manic pixie dream girl' trope for me. It would seem that they do, given how the men in their lives treat them, but the overarching narrative doesn't justify those mens' perspectives. Clementine even gives a little speech basically laying out to Joel "hey, I'm not some magical being that's going to fix your life for you, I'm just trying to get by like anyone else." Whatshisface from 500 days has to go through this whole process of de-romanticizing Summer in his mind to treat her like a person and let her go.
As a woman, while I'm working, if my boyfriend refuses to do chores while i provide for him, I'm going to be p*ssed. It doesn't matter your gender, you shouldn't take a free ride on your partner that's working. Pull your weight.
I definitely acknowledge my privilege as a cis gay male because it’s always kind of been a given to me that I wouldn’t have a normal life, I’d never be expected to raise children nor have the “perfect family” with the wife and 2.5 kids and a cute dog, etc. And as a chronically single person by choice, I’ve also never wanted to define myself by my relationship status or who I’m in a relationship with. So it’s just surprising to me that there are men out there who need to be told that they don’t need a girlfriend/wife to be happy. They don’t need to support a woman to be happy. They can have a wholesome life entirely on their own, and it doesn’t need to come at the cost of women at all.
you know what? you are so fuckin' right. you NEVER hear any gay guys talkin' about this stuff. it's always us heteros beatin' each other over the head about "the perfect lifestyle". dude, if you want a family, cool. If ya don't, cool!
everyone is not meant to live the exact same life!!!
There aren't any men out there who need to be told this. This is just some theoretical nonsense that has no bases in reality. Don't believe every thing you see in movies or in youtube videos.
@@treeforged9097yes, there are. Do you have any sources for that argument, or are you just basing that off of an opinion you decided you needed to have because the video itself felt like an attack?
In media, and in real life, I see men who are so hellbent on getting a girlfriend, or their families bringing up how they need a wife. Even the edgy and immature guys who say "girls icky" with big words center their whole lives around women, just in a different way.
And I hate that for them. As someone raised a girl, and had my parents joke about me having boyfriends from young to now, it was annoying. Especially when all I really cared about was my hyperfixation for that month and schoolwork. And though it's not often, women are more likely to be told their lives don't need to involve a man. I can only imagine how it feels to be a guy, constantly under the pressure of not even finding love at this rate but a ""mate"", and becoming increasingly depressed over it. Romantic love isn't and shouldn't be a requirement. Men aren't "sexual creatures" any more than anyone else. Men don't need women to be whole or happy, same for women. But apparently that's a controversial statement. See for yourself, comment that somewhere or maybe in real life, and watch the response you'll get.
As a woman dating another woman, i’ve heard of other bi women who ends up choose to just not date men because of how often men are immature and puts their while selfworth onto them. While i dont plan on ever leaving my sweetheart i certainly would not exclude them from my dating pool. Still, seems like more work than a homosexual relationship.
You still can 100% get a cute dog tho, it's not that bad of a life choice.
What i got from this video is:
Nothing?apart from you shudent persue love by makeing acts of service or you shudent fall for someone that has different interess from you.and in all of this you didnt show 1 real life example if you are refearing to this causeing stuff in real life and if you are refearing to sthe problem of stuff like this beeing in media the why dont you just not watch Romances because most of the Media dosent have Romance or has very little of it?ngl i respect the hours if not Days you put in this Video but i dont get exacly whats is the Conclusion of this Video?
The nice guy trope does so much harm for the young males because they think that if they did that they'll win the "hot" girl
Wrong, the trope doesn’t do anything. It’s women themselves that promote this in real life and tell men to just be nice.
@@ExpertContrarianlol, you still should be nice, not just to women but to everyone, and not to get something in return but because of high morals. If you don’t have high morals you’re just a bad person. Being nice doesn’t grant you anything, but being bad you can get punished one day
Or Worse that the bare minimum of social attention or gesture means that women owe them sexual access
And that she’s “using him” if she doesn’t comply
I wanted Shawn and Angela to end up together so much. I get that it's more realistic that two people wbo were so good together can't work it out due to life getting in the way...the great "What If" person.
But I was so much more invested in Shawn and Angela than any other couple/relationship by the end of the show
Remember the episode where Shawn finds a purse and decides that the purse's owner must be his soulmate?
I loved it. The Adam eve analysis was so good!
Ikr. I'm currently agnostic, and idk if I'll ever stop unraveling the harmful social repercussions of Adam & Eve's fable to this day.
@@spaghetto9836 not to nitpick unnecessarily, but since you've expressed that you're at least passively studying it, you should know that it's a myth, not a fable. People think myth automatically means untrue, but that's not literarily the case, only proverbially. I only bring it up because, when judging the validity and claims of a writing, it's important to understand the genre so as to understand what it's actually saying (for instance, when people say "all you need is love," they're making a poetic and philosophical statement rather than a literal one, and because we understand that, we can then judge what we think it means and whether we believe it). I'm not sure what kind of agnostic you are, so I hope I wasn't being too annoying just then, I just thought it was important, since if the story was a fable, that would imply a lesson or moral, which obviously is neither stated explicitly nor implicitly (and also everyone in the story would be an animal)
PLEASE do a Boy Meets World retrospective! This show's contradicting heteronormativity has my brain cells in a chokehold.
Yeah, and the creators treated the black actress down bad, only because she was black.
The myth of creation falls on this mysoginist turn but the actual Hebrew texts don't make Eve out to be a servant or something from Adam. She was made to be an equal, made from scratch just like Adam. But when it was translated, of course it was distorted into what we know now.
22:55 I mean i love that meme but I’m an artist so character design is just fun to me and I like seeing how you can take the same exact object give it to 5 artists and then be given 20 different character designs
It's generally more refreshing when they aren't all petite girls with giant titties, but I guess you take what you can get.
As a woman, I see every man and rate them as how good of a partner they would be without thinking about it. I feel good when I see people look at me, especially men. I have also been conditioned by society to be defined by my relationship with men, so I’ve found value in this video. I’m trying to be more neutral when it comes to men, and see them as people with flaws who might be my friend before my partner. Societal pressure exists for EVERYONE!
You see, its not a good thing to do to rate people
Bro made good points . There is also the thing about anime I find uncomfortable . It's where they portray girls exposed naked accidentally as cute and the male got slapped for it when he accidentally saw it . And sometimes they show the males like it even if he got slapped for it. WTF is wrong with that trope. As a man , I feel so uncomfortable and I believe it'd be the same for girls too .
The biggest harm all these narratives create is making people believe in a perfect love. People have this idea that a relationship doesnt or shouldnt take effort, and that any annoyace means they arent "meant" to be together.
Don't actually listen to this guy, he got so many things wrong in the first half it's not even funny, I'm kinda of piss over it.
So first, Adam and eve, I know a lot of people don't even know the stories but you didn't even read the LITERALLY THE FIRST STORY ON GENESIS THE BOOK OF BEGINNINGS.
And how you got it wrong, second Lilith, in the original context, it means night creature, they were (in context I think was joel I could be wrong but it was some one in the Bible) talking about demons in the wiled.
There is no secret second wife.
When it comes to the original story of the Bible, if you read it, you WILL see that it's Adam who took ALL the blame NOT eve, she did get punishment a bit but that's to see them separate and in UR thought 2023 lens of American woakness (leftist),
Eve was told that she could be like God (look at what religions tell you) so she eat to become like God, the "snake" was the wisest and craftiest, so no she didn't just get tricked by a random snake (animal)
God didn't say "oh eve this is all your fault" no HE SAID
"Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.[f]”"
"And to the man he said,
“Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree
whose fruit I commanded you not to eat,
the ground is cursed because of you.
All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it.
18
It will grow thorns and thistles for you,
though you will eat of its grains.
19
By the sweat of your brow
will you have food to eat
until you return to the ground
from which you were made.
For you were made from dust,
and to dust you will return.”"
GENESIS 2:4-3:24
This also covers what you said wrong about how and when they eat.
The FACT YOU BROUGHT UP Christian antisemitism, witch DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
See all the big Christians youtuber like Isaiah Salvador, Ruslan, saying pry for peace for the jews.
Also this statement IGNORES Christian HISTORY in of it self, Apostle Paul was a jew who taught that it's not a circumcision but a circumcision of the Soul.
Like HOW CAN YOU BE LIKE THIS???? HOW CAN YOU GET EVERYTHING WORNG.
And that's why all your arguments falllllll flat.
complaining about wokeness. argument discarded.
@@stickmouse5002 well... We did warned you about the left back then...
@@Fallen-Saint who warned who about what when??
@@stickmouse5002 maybe your to young, gamer, pizza. Gates.
It all started back in 2015 but yet, 2001 was the jumping off point and the end of our freedoms.
Red pill, you think it means picking up woman, but it means knowing your reality, the truth.
This video is so important, and so actually CRIMINALLY underrated. I feel like this will be so important to so many men who feel like they’ve been lied to by nearly all of hetero romance media in existence when they realize pursuing romantic relationships with women in real life isn’t anything like movies or tv at all. Our perception of romance between men and women has been warped for so long and the forced heterosexual romance partner is easily the biggest perpetrator in all of this. I feel like anyone who has involved themselves in the tiniest bit of feminist and queer theory would know how frustrating it is to try to constantly bring this up as an issue to anyone just to feel like their screaming into a void. So sincerely, thank you for discussing this.
OH MY GOD TWO CHARACTERS IN LOVE SO HORRIFYING.
@lephinor2458
Attention everyone this person is clearly biased and is in multiple comments being defensive and arguing in bad faith. Don't waste your time on this troll. This is a repeat message because I value people time. Continue to call out patriachy bullshit ✊
Basically the media is playing both sides. They setup the hopeless romantic boy, he either wins or loses his advances where it comes to those he fancies. The girl is taught to see everything as a threat as well search for "The One". So they will always clash negatively when really both want life experience and to simply be able to be "normal" with somebody.
Romcoms REALLY and I mean REALLY fucked things up.
@@lephinor2458🥺boohoo
@@asterya6913please stop, he is free to make comment
21:14 I mean… if the genders were reversed, you’d be saying he doesn’t owe her anything. Or does the fact that she’s in love with him mean he has to love her as well?
Yeah that always annoys me about Urusei Yatsura
The irony is absolutely hilarious😂
Je suis d'accord avec toi.
@@sort6726je suis d'accord avec toi.
But it’s in contrast with his character trait…
That he’s extremely sex driven and has no respect for women
If it was a woman who literally invited sexual contact from every man she met
The story would definitely question why she would ignore the one who’s interested in her beyond that…..
Or at least frame her in a negative way
Stories already have the trope where women pick abusive men over the guy we’re meant to believe would treat her better
But actually just feel entitled to her in different way…
It would be different if he was portrayed as normal
But dehumanizing women to sex object is a defining characteristic
THIS VIDEO IS SO GOOD!
I love urusei yatsura and DESPISE its contemporaries. In urusei yatsura, the stories in each manga chapter feel very unserious at heart. The characters are all so absurd and play off each other in a way where, even though they're all horrible people, you don't get a bad taste in your mouth about it. Their social power feels evenly distributed: Ataru is a sleazy perv, but he's always punished for it in the story! Lum is possessive and violent, but in such an absurd way that it can't be taken seriously!
This is what modern harem anime fails at. The characters social power is very skewed towards the male lead. Their pervy actions aren't punished at all and all the women in the story flock to him. Yuck!
Le femme dans les harems sont presque aussi peu des récompense que lum et les hommes beaucoup moins dominateurs que Atari qui est le personnage le plus dominé de cette histoire.
@@theoriesdelordre3515 I'm sorry my guy, I have no idea what you just said. Niinku kirjaimellisesti ei hajuakaan. :-DD
I mean lum is a curse and ataru a victim.
@@theoriesdelordre3515 I guess! They're both delightfully terrible people
So cynical, of course there is a perfect girl, the perfect girl is the one you fall in love with, that is what love is. The mainstream post ironic anti love campaign is very effective, how cynical the young have been made. The knowledge of good and evil was the lie got them thrown out of paradise, moral fraud, eve is better at it than adam
God, the Barbie universe is hell on earth specially for Kens. To be born and be mentally forced to enact one thing and be devoted to Barbies for only to not only not be appreciated but hated for something you were born to do, your literal reason for living as an accessory to Barbie. That is harsh lol.
Reverse of Adam and Eve basically
@@happilyevernever4289 ehhh I would go that far. Eve was still respected and adored for her role but Ken is only there to make Barbie look better. It’s ironic revenge fantasy for the immature to the point of making Ken the accidental hero victim. I can tell you now that be impossible is there were actual dangers to the Barbie life just like real life. The kens would either step up and take over or leave the Barbie to their deadly fate.
I think it was a bit of both honestly. Barbie was both an homage and vent of the femme experience, and Barbieland was the complete flipping of the gender roles and power structure. I personally never got the impression that the Barbies 'hated' the Kens but they were annoyed by them and treating them with kid gloves the same way that some men in the real world will treat women/feminine people. All of this exaggerated to the 10th degree as well so it looks even more ridiculous.
Also I don't know if you heard in the essay or anywhere outside of it but people have and continue to literally villify Eve for being the one to eat the apple and tempt Adam into doing so as well. Like to the point of her being one of the prime examples of the temptation of sin. Perhaps recently people are taking a second look at it with videos like these but the narrative has been that way for quite some time. Created to serve Adam and quell his loneliness, but when she steps out to try something new (while being manipulated by the snake) she is blamed entirely for the fall of eden.
@@FrancisBonnefoy413 that is a good point,I personally don’t blame Eve for her naïveté in her role of bringing the understanding of good and evil.
@@FrancisBonnefoy413I was never raised to believe that, and I'm Catholic. I have heard this belief on the internet a lot, but it was the Devil who tricked Eve; so it never made sense to me where this viewpoint came from. How does that vilify her? None of my family or church taught me to blame Eve, it's the Devil who is at fault for always trying to tempt you into evil things.
As someone who’s asexual, this video hits hard
This giy thinks the patriarchy invented the gold digger? I still haven't found a single person who can actually tell me anything insightful about "patriarchy"
This video is great, thank you for making it! The more I see people recognizing and calling this stuff out, the more hopeful it makes me. Daniel Sloss's comedy special "Jigsaw" goes into it, and RUclipsr Tara Mooknee has a great video called "Amatonormativity" (the academic word for it) on her channel, too.
you know it hurts when you're someone like Sachi in real life and it's so weird when you indirectly copying all the tropes she's been through 36:30
Found this channel today, the algorithm is algorithming well for once. Loved the video
The anime take is a little dogshit, I don't know why but for some reason people with "progressive" takes love to look at anime and take the shittiest, bottom of the barrel idea of what an anime can be like and project it onto every single anime in a genre or onto anime as a whole at times. Harem anime isn't my cup of tea either, mostly because I find them annoying as shit and I wish the MC would just be loyal and stick with one- but it's really no different than any other show embracing a fantasy. Sure, some shitty people like them, but acting like they're terrible because it reinforces some shitty peoples way of thinking is ridiculous because there's that type of people watching just about every genre and every form of media.
I like how you put a disclaimer on “Anime”. I agree with you universally no one can hate Anime as much as an Anime watcher.
Urusei Yatsura started the shitty abusive love interest and tsundere craze and ironically you showed Evangelion because it took inspiration from this character for its girls. Rei and Asuka are basically her two halves, with Asuka being the obvious abusive tsundere example. but of course you talk about how the male was the damaging aspect and didn't talk at all about how the women treat the men poorly in it. and same with the other shows that creator made. Ranma 1/2 and innuyasha have the same overbearing and abusive female love interest and hapless idiot boy tropes that plague half of all anime to this day. yet nobody talks about this. when talking about romance tropes in anime people only ever talk about how shitty the guys are and make the girls victims but never talk about the other way around.
Je suis d'accord avec toi.
Yeah except how are we claiming that
The long history of men claiming and demanding that women exist to benefit them
With a trope of women being OVERBEARING…..while in a lot of those same tropes
The women are STILL written to base their life and goals around men’s interest
And that anything the man does to them is okay because of their feelings
Are we supposed to believe that someone who’s a nag is equally harmful as a person with no personal goal aspirations beyond fulfilling a partner’s interest when they don’t care abt them
omg i loved this video so much!! you deserve way more recognition
I haven´t realized how much I internalized this notion that I should be the perfect girl to fix the broken boy and damn...I've put myself in so much stress because of this.
It's making me think about my relationship with relationships too. Like in anime and media, love is always felt and felt strongly, but I'm demisexual which means I sometimes don't feel that attraction. So whenever that happens, I'm like 'is there something wrong with me?'
And just... listening to my gut in general when it comes to dating men, bc I have people pleasing tendencies.
@@lorettabes4553 im glad you are taking care of youself and listening to your intuition, im trying to do that too. amatonormativity is hard on everyone but is even worse for those of us who are on the aro and/or ace spectrum.
Agreed! Having been born in the early 2000's, even though I wasn't thinking about how to get guys to like me I'd still worry and fret about being the "perfect female specimen" because that's where I got my self-worth
"Romance is a modern invention"
Looks at the Song of Solomon from the 10th century B.C., at Jacob spending years of his life working his a$$ off to marry Rachel. Gets deeply confused. "Modern?" Reads about Isis going around Egypt to put the pieces of her husband back together, looking for the modernity in ancient writings.