*Introduction & Disclaimers:* 08:48 *Community Requests & HealthyGamer Guide:* 10:28 *What is CPTSD?:* 16:23 - Prevalence of PTSD & CPTSD: 16:43 - History of PTSD & CPTSD: 18:07 - Core Features of PTSD: 21:06 - Illustration of PTSD: 21:58 - Chronic Trauma & CPTSD: 26:33 - Visualizing PTSD vs CPTSD: 27:58 - Early Trauma & Perpetrators: 30:09 - Judith Herman & "Trauma and Recovery": 31:18 - Bessel van der Kolk & "The Body Keeps the Score": 33:25 *Understanding Trauma:* 33:47 - Hyperarousal: 35:04 - Dissociation: 41:18 - The Role of Emotions: 47:58 - Loss of Identity: 50:22 - Impulsivity & Paralysis of Initiation: 59:51 - Relationships & CPTSD: 1:03:42 - Relationships & Disturbed Sense of Self: 1:14:36 - Recap: CPTSD & its Impact: 1:18:22 *Treatment & Recovery:* 1:21:10 - Trauma as Adaptation: 1:21:39 - Rewiring Physiology: 1:22:46 - Reconnecting with Emotions: 1:30:33 - Articulating Emotions & Language: 1:37:13 - Social Cognitive Emotions & Relationships: 1:43:44 *Video from the HealthyGamer Guide: Paralysis of Initiation:* 2:03:21 *Q&A:* 2:21:11 - Disagreeing with your therapist: 2:22:19 - Going to therapy for the first time: 2:32:34 - Differentiating ADHD and CPTSD: 2:26:32 - CPTSD, Addiction, & Sense of Worthlessness: 2:34:29 - Trauma from incubator experience: 2:39:19 - Impact of different household styles on CPTSD: 2:40:23 - Safety & Trauma Healing: 2:42:09 - Bringing up CPTSD with a therapist: 2:49:23 - Explaining CPTSD to a family member: 2:52:56 - Will trauma ever go away?: 2:57:26 - Addressing trauma sources in the world: 2:58:03 - Building a sense of self: 3:00:09 - Resisting trauma treatment: 3:00:44 - Curing CPTSD: 3:01:26 - Trauma treatment & happiness: 3:02:14 *Closing Remarks & Trauma Guide Preview:* 3:09:20
It makes so much sense when you look at it from a neurological and developmental angle, that's what helped me realize why I was so affected. A little kid's brain doesn't know that they're not necessarily in danger of being k.i.lled, it just knows that you're in the most danger that you have ever been in. So seeing a raised fist while your parent is screaming means the same thing to your brain that a POW's brain experiences when seeing one of their captors approach with a weapon. And it's the same situation of NEVER being safe. The people who are providing for your needs could snap and harm you at any time so you can't let your guard down, ever. Idk, I may be off but I think about my experience that way now and it made me feel like I can maybe heal from it someday.
Absolutely! Reading The Body Keeps The Score and finally having someone be able to explain my brain when I couldn't and it being compared to being a veteran/someone in armed forces absolutely destroyed me in the best way possible because I was able to finally piece myself together from the scraps my parents tore me down to. It was incredibly sad yet freeing in a weird way. Hope you are finding or have found the life, joy and healing you deserve ❤️
Struggled with CPTSD for 20 years and finally in a good relationship.. I'm struggling so much with being anxious, angry, isolating, avoiding, hypervigilance... I don't even know what healthy is. I hope I can be a better partner.
@@Sycophantichallenger Pete Walker's book and essays on complex PTSD might help you deal with the inner critic. The neuroaffective relational model could be another avenue. When in doubt, imagine a stranger or perhaps a child in your position expressing the same doubts and feelings of unworthiness and generally being "less than". Whatever you might tell them, tell that to your current self.
Well I'm not sure I have any authority over this topic but I would suggest being open with your partner about your struggles and how you may unintentionally or unknowingly do these things. This way if anything does happen they would be better prepared for that and not be as shocked, or whatever they may feel. Good luck!
@SiliconChimera I've also gotten great mileage out of "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk. Very, very good for understanding what's going on in my head and what I can do about it.
I can relate to this so much. I get episodes of extreme anger, which I related to when he mentioned the "seizure" likeness. The emotional disconnection that I get afterwards makes it super hard for me to co-live with my partner and daughter. Currently in therapy, hoping I can at least get rid of the episodes before my daughter has to experience it.
I'm also a survivor of cptsd and have been learning how to be a good partner. What has helped me a lot is telling myself that my emotional flashbacks are normal for what I went through. It's very easy to judge ourselves for reacting the way we do because what we are experiencing doesn't always match up with what triggered the flashback. Be kind to yourself when you notice you've had or are having an emotional flashback. You deserve to love yourself and heal from your pain and your partner also wants that for you❤. You are not alone in feeling the ways you do. I wish you well.
Yes, I’ve done a lot of reading online around CPTSD and the overarching sentiment was that it can’t be cured, and it’s something you’ll have to deal with for the rest of your life. I’ve felt very hopeless for a long time… maybe there is hope after all.
I'm in remission for CPTSD, it IS possible and SO SO worth it!! I believe in you, but the best results come when you begin to believe in yourself. I wish you a peaceful road to recovery.
@@chocomentalIf you had experienced it in early childhood, it may have shaped you in ways that can no longer be fully reversed, BUT you can heal from a very large portion of the negative stuff.
@@detBits How can I trust myself to make decisions for myself when my choices got me here? How do I find motivation to keep trying when I've tried for so many decades and seen no impact?
I have cptsd and it has left me with a stunted ability to feel anger; I disassociate from it. Anger exists to let us establish personal boundaries. Learning to do this (anger/boundaries) at 50+ is very hard.
I had a panic attack at work today because I thought I messed something up that turned out to be fine. I've been at the job for eleven years and am a valued employee. I wouldn't have gotten fired, or even experienced major consequences, but I felt terrified and worthless and couldn't bear the thought of letting people down. I know it's because of my experiences growing up. I'm working hard in therapy, and life is mostly good now, but if it ever seems like someone, especially an authority figure, might get angry with me, it can send me back to those childhood feelings. I realized later that a coworker that triggered me was probably dealing with his own childhood stuff. But nobody wants to talk about it in a workplace. You just learn how to step around each other's "quirks" and "eccentricities," which are likely trauma symptoms showing up in different ways for different people.
Because we are in therapy for CPTSD we have the advantage as we are aware of our body response to situations. We also have agency to take a time out if needed to self regulate/integrate any parts that might be triggered.
I'm two years into therapy and consider myself still on the Surviving side of the spectrum w/ my goal toward Thriving! I'm finding myself journaling a lot of the nervous system responses at work and sharing them with my trauma therapist. It's something I look forward to... as I try to reparent/build healthy self agency.
I get tons of termination anxiety at work all the time too. I am not necessarily the companies favorite and I do think they have a very toxic culture but still I definitely get an irrational fear of being fired as if every day I clock in could be my last day
I was sexually abused as a child by my own sibling. I grew up very sexually active in my teens, always struggled with my emotions, was diagnosed with general depression in my teens, still struggle with my emotions, mainly anger, at almost 30. Had postpartum depression, and for the longest time until a few months ago, had passive suicidal thoughts. I never knew or associated what happened to me as a child to affect me so much in my adulthood, or my whole life in general, but specifically adulthood. At some point, I couldn't even have intercourse with my husband because of actual intrusive thoughts and I'd break down crying. These videos and others, have helped me so much come to terms and really try to better myself, I still struggle but me and my husband do see an improvement in myself. Thank you for talking about cptsd. ❤
I'm not sure if you mean the next generation of people, or the future of our understanding, but I agree and think he's doing both, and even passing on the humble wisdom that he's doing it imperfectly. And that taht's okay, because it's just the next step.
@@cliftut I just mean in the sense that it’s so difficult to get well informed about these things without going to therapy. I don’t have health insurance and don’t have extra cash for therapy, but hearing him describe these various issues in depth makes me feel like I’m not alone, and that there’s also a path to recovery! I used to feel like “I’m the only person dealing with this specific of an issue” and this makes me feel seen. I’m sure his videos do that for many others who haven’t had the resources/motivation to go to therapy yet.
It’s a good book, but it was also the most painful book I’ve ever read. Had to take so many breaks because I kept getting awful flashbacks while reading. But it was worth it. The book cleared up SO many things… and of course the first step towards healing is understanding what’s happening.
@@xXTiggaBoBXxi completly lost mine at one point and for me i just completly decided these are the things i am and decided to do things according to that decpite if i belived it or not and eventually it just became who i am
I have the similar diagnoses, except military related PTSD. How did you find a stronger sense of identity? I don't even know who I am or who I want to be. Like an empty shell, an NPC.
@@kibblesnbits3174hi. old boring childhood traumas, but i feel exactly the same... your description is very accurate don't have any advice for you, if you find something that helps - let me know, lol
I always feel like I've got a few traits of everything such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, even autism, and I even have a diagnosis of a couple of them. Then this explanation of cptsd and how these traits can show in everyone and how my childhood was full of this type of ongoing trauma really helps me find where I fit in and where to work on things. Thanks so much for this explanation and I look forward to using the trauma guide.
Yeah, this one can be tricky and you can end up feeling misunderstood and like a misfit, coz they’ll give you all the labels that just doesn’t feel right. Actually so many labels fit us that some people can just stop looking for the right one and give up. Good thing we have dr K 😌
I want to note: CPTSD type effects can happen even if parents aren't obviously neglectful or abusive, and even if they are well-intentioned. "Emotional malnutrition", as I call it, seems to be the core issue. Loving parents can have disabilities, emotional issues of their own, practical problems like money issues, difficulty connecting with a child due to personality differences or neurodivergence in parent or child, their own traumas or subtler things from their past, etc. Also, a lot of time is spent at school and the damage can happen there, compounded if the parents don't know or can't help for reasons that may be out of their control. Exposure to frightening information about the world also occurs much more frequently at young ages via technology and other reason these days, too. I think "innocent harm", just due to the conditions of human life, is something that gets overlooked, and often times there's little fair blame to be placed because of where everyone was at emotionally and knowledge-wise. Parents can't do what they don't know how, can't see what they don't know exists. So for those who notice they have the symptoms or patterns yet never felt neglected or abused, and knew their parents cared, this could be an explanation. Of course, when neglect or abuse occur it can also be hard to realize, so it shouldn't be ruled out. The point is that sometimes emphasis is placed on blame or finding out "who was responsible" when it's really not the problem. Sometimes the problem is simply the tragedy of life. Thankfully, the same paths to healing generally apply. So even if you don't see yourself as neglected or abused, your emotions and sense of safe connection may not have been nurtured, or suffered damages. So seek out your malnourished or poisoned emotions and heal them. Best wishes!
Thank you this is how I’m learning to view things and recognizing that I may have been traumatized by seemingly “innocent” events where the lesson I learned was to hide my mistakes and feel shame; there was no way for anyone to know I was so negatively effected and led to intense masking, anxiety, etc. etc. etc. I think my parents did their best but they had issues and biases and little psychological education. I know that there could still be some underlying trauma I haven’t fully uncovered yet, but this way of thinking opens the door and allows me to heal without trying to blame my parents for everything. Thanks for saying it so well. I always told myself there was no REASON for me to be depressed & anxious & felt shame for experiencing them, but there are a million reasons including undiagnosed ADHD & what you’ve explained so well.
1:02:00 impulsivity I think is also result of the fact that you know you don't normally have any emotional drive to do anything, therefore to actively live, to be alive. You want to but you can't, you just don't have it. So when an impulse comes around, you grab onto it and move forward with it, cause you gotta frickin try, you need to break the lethargy somehow. It really sucks to live like this, and it takes such a painfully long time with constant dedicated effort to gradually very slowly get better. Maykeit has been a blessing, thank you dr K and team ❤
Your comment is making me bawl, I struggle with this, and it is hard to generate hope that the situation is changeable for any decent length of time. I hear and so feel your words. Bless you xxx
@@guzmaynard8768 it is changeable, only in the long term. There are cycles of expansion - contraction. Advancing and integrating, three steps forward two backwards. Extremely frustrating, but possible and worth it. Just keep on going even when you don't believe in it. Cause the alternative is giving up, and that cannot be an option, if you've met people that gave up you know that is not an option. It'll be alright, just stay committed to yourself and your growth. Blessings to you xxx
@@guzmaynard8768 I come back to this 2 months later, and I can tell you, if only you keep on choosing to not give up, if you keep on betting for hope, even while in dispair, the veil will lift. I am finally past the tipping point and I can relax with a user-friendly mind, ego and self with which I am developing reciprocal relationships of love. Three years ago I was wishing for death, I couldn't recognize myself, I only experienced wellbeing in one-second bursts once in a month, only to painfully remind me of my misery. So I can tell you, keep on going even while you feel it's impossible, cause you have everything to win and nothing to lose, and because the world is full of broken people that did give up and that is not an existence I could risk myself falling into (I've known enough of them, too closely, and at times their cautionary example was the only thing to keep me trying cause I felt no hope. I thank them for that). I can recommend the RUclips channel "This Jungian life". Together with therapy, they have really helped me give words to what happened to me, and a sense of clarity and direction, a notion that everything that I have been going through is a process of development that leads me to be a more completed and grounded and robust person. Wish you luck
I had to stop the video after about 30 mins (I'll come back to try to watch it later). You've really hit on something here 🙁. My therapist recently told me I have a lot of trauma-response like behaviors. This has led me to try to start researching c-ptsd, since the symptoms lined up. And watching this video is really hitting a nerve. Thanks for this. I'll come back when I'm more emotionally prepared. I feel like I'm getting closer to finding answers to why I am the way that I am (avoidant, extremely low self esteem, lifelong relationship/commitment issues, high anxiety, etc). Please keep doing what you're doing Dr. K. 💖
Right there with you. Hope you can continue your healing journey and watch the full video. I actually bought the guides so I can use the targeted meditation to help calm me down when the content of his or other videos makes TOO MUCH sense and I want to process it without avoiding it completely. It’s a slower, safer way to go through stuff, you can read a summary of the video before watching and decide if you’re ready for that lesson or not. I think all the guides are helpful & the best deal, but at least start with the trauma guide and the meditation guide of you can!
Jesus i came to the comments to see if anyone felt like i did watching, i'm 35 minutes in and i was close to having a panic attack, had to stop but i need to know more
Watching the whole thing and actually listening to understand it all is very tough for me as well. Going at our own pace is very important to give our brain the ability to assimilate all the informations with the presence of so many triggers.. Second time watching it and only now realising that I can't remember most of what I watched the first time. Now making it to the halfway point and feeling reassured to know that I'm not the only one struggling through it. Thank you for your comments! Now I know it's okay to take the time needed and thank you Dr. K for making this video 💚 it's beautifully explained and every second is a masterpiece of its own! Now time to follow though with an attempt to some yoga to release some of that stress.
Dr.K, PLEASE, we need an entire separate 3 hour video on how to find a therapist who is ACTUALLY trauma informed. Every therapist's profile says they work with PTSD / CPTSD patients. They decidedly do not. 😂 I kept breaking my therapists, and it makes me feel REALLY guilty, so I stopped looking. Not to mention the hassle and expense and time of going through therapist after therapist only to come up feeling more broken than ever. I feel more trauma informed than most of the people I've worked with. They were lovely people. I think they have mostly been good therapists for most people with less intense experiences to divulge. But, if they can't hear your really traumatic stuff without becoming significantly disregulated themselves, they aren't up to the task. We can't BOTH be significantly disregulated, bruh. 😂 I'm tired of having to comfort and give therapy to my therapists.
This is so true! I’ve had the same experience. I’ve had so many trauma therapists who supposedly specialize in trauma therapy but didn’t seem to understand CPTSD at all. I once had a therapist where I told him I had childhood trauma and he wanted to do a PTSD assessment. The PTSD assessment focuses on one traumatic event. I told him I didn’t have just one, I had multiple, and he said to just pick one of them and focus on that when answering questions. I’m like, that’s not how it works!? And with my current therapist, I started telling her about a memory I had and she cut me off and said she couldn’t handle hearing about it anymore. She’s really nice and great in many ways, but I was a little taken back by that because it’s one of my more painful memories and I feel like it’s important for me to talk about. I can definitely relate to feeling more informed than therapists themselves. At this point, I’ve done a lot of research on PTSD and CPTSD and I often feel like I understand it better than some of the therapists I’ve had. It really can be so difficult to find the right therapist. It gets very frustrating. Low key I wish Dr. K could be my therapist lol or someone as good of a therapist as he is. He seems to really know what he’s talking about on these topics.
I made a therapist cry during our session 😂😂 she said it was just something in her eye, but it happened twice and suspiciously close to me talking about some childhood stuff
This. So much this. Now I have trauma responses from 40 years of problematic experiences with mental health professionals who weren't equipped to help me with the trauma responses that were hijacking my life. I'm like, man, I'm trying to Do The Things. Therapy is supposed to be one of The Things, ffs. But I keep breaking the therapist. Where do I find a (Previously) Really Fucked Up therapist? (TM) One who won't get that look on their face 30 minutes into the first appointment when I'm giving them the backstory? I need one of them.
I believe i found a trauma informed therapist. Look for a therapist that has training specifically in things like exposure therapy, EMDR and even training with psychadelics. I found one with EMDR. We talk about Polyvagal theory a lot and we are actively working through my deepest and darkest traumas. My other advice is being assertive and straight to the point when you do the 15 minute consult call. Ask questions point blank like: "What advanced training do you have with trauma?" "What percent of your clients deal with ptsd and cptsd?" "How long have you worked with trauma patients?" "On a scale of 1 to 10 how informed on the principles and therapies of trauma would you say you are?" "How many trauma patients have you lead to recovery?" "What techniques do you use for patients with PTSD/CPTSD?" If they seem like the wrong fit then thank them for their time and ask them if they know of anyone who possesses the training and expertise that you are looking for. Hope that helps!
@@jessicablack9960 look for clinical psychologist with trauma specialist and should be 40+ age since they have enough knowledge and experience hopefully And don't tell them that you have cptsd, just see with what and how are they going to diagnose you that way you will know if that therepist is right for you or not In short put filters while choosing a therepist
CPTSD patients are the most difficult to work with, dissociation, flashbacks, nightmares. i feel really sorry for them everytime they come to my hospital
I’ve struggled with cptsd as a gifted individual that showed up as body dysmorphia, depression, add and all of that without even knowing what was wrong with me. For 20 years I was so lonely, I didn’t know who I am and I was blaming myself for all of it. The last two years I started to educate myself about this and realised that there’s hope for me to heal and I can’t express how grateful I am to this channel. In this short time I finally can open up to my friends, to my parents. Now I can start living life
This was exactly what happened to me. I had interests when I was a child, biology and art. My father told me both are useless and I should work in IT or become a doctor. I became absolutely not interested in anything in life, so my father took it as a permission to push on me his interests "because he saw I didn't have any, didn't want me to rot in boredom and if he saw I was passionate about something he would let me do that (which honestly I think isn't true, he would make it for me as hard as possible)". That resulted in our poor relationship and me going no contact later.
This is my exact experience almost, don’t feel alone, I’m 28 and just now going to school and taking classes and working at a music store as well as another job that I hope to quit to leave my 9-5 to pursue music production, my dreams have been put on hold and actively denied and kept from me out of my reach be it through circumstance or individuals like our fathers. Plz don’t give up I know it occurs to you too that your art is useless please know it isn’t and those are just the ugly ghostly echoes of all the people who have tried to keep you from your dream. Now I’m so sad and low that I’m just now getting to do this in my life feels like my youth was ripped away from me, but just keep your dreams alive no matter how weak they become they can get stronger when you start healing. ❤️🩹
That's so dumb. Art makes and drives our culture, and biology...I don't think I need to explain why that's important. I hope you've been able to get creative since then or rediscover your own interests. .
Yep. My mom pushed music on me even though I was good at and preferred art. She was living what she wished her life was like through me. She never saw me and is STILL like that. I don’t blame her bc she also inherited the CPTSD from her mother but that doesn’t mean I want her toxicity in my life or for my kids. She’s 75 and still like this. Both my brother and I limit contact with her as much as we can. It’s sad but it’s the only way we can keep someone that toxic at arms length away from us.
I’m 57. I still have nightmares and flashbacks. Certain memories are still as triggering as it was then. And I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. 20 years of physical abuse really fucked me up.
Yes this please. I've recently learned of a term "acquired neurodivergence" and I'd be interested to hear Dr Ks input on that. Specifically for me this would relate to trauma and ND traits.
From knowing a lot of neurodivergent people and being neurodivergent myself, I've noticed that a lot of us, especially those who went undiagnosed during childhood, end up developing some some form of C-PTSD from simply growing up in an environment that is tailored towards neurotypical people. A lot of us struggled with being treated differently by our peers at school, being punished/scolded at home for behaving in neurodivergent ways (eg. being punished/scolded for forgeting things, struggling with homework, not getting social cues), and then on top of that being singled out and treated differently by teachers and the school system in general. It leaves us feeling like there is something fundamentally wrong with us because everyone expects things from us that we are simply incapable of, and as the years pass it becomes an incredibly isolating experience, you don't want to act like yourself because you've learned it only brings you bad things but acting like a "normal" person drains you of all your energy and joy. Sorry if this is overly specific but the amount of neurodivergent people I know who have this exact experience is worrying.
CPTSD can be present in individuals with Autism especially non verbal as they are unable to communicate their wants and needs in all environments. I strongly recommended looking into the ACES study as neurodivergence can actually be inherited trauma from the parent. It literally passes on through DNA.
I LOVE that you validated the existence of CPTSD! I had a crisis line operator about 2 years ago told me that CPTSD doesn't exist and even if I did, I didn't have it. Like I'm no professional but I'm pretty sure that is NOT what you say to someone on the CRISIS LINE! It's wild to me that many mental health professionals I have seen have never heard of CPTSD. LOVE YOUR VIDEOS DR. K!
Bro that's some serious gaslighting wtf 💀 not only is cptsd real, but you also need a trauma - specialized therapist, other therapists can say completely wrong things. Source: I've tried a few therapists, specialized and not
That's so sad. Here in New Zealand, many mental health workers were fired because they were not qualified and had no experience. They also did a lot of harm, both physical and mental. The government promised to get qualified and experienced mental health workers.
Dr. K is the best help on RUclips so far from 20 yrs of RUclips researching for healing. Bordetliner notes, Sam Vaknin, Van de Kolk EMDR, Linehan Radical Acceptance and dr. K have been helpful.
FWIW I'm female and don't feel like this channel/community is a "boy's club". It's men-focused a bit (gamer community is majority men) but that's not inherently bad. "Boys club" to me implies an exclusion mentality (ie, women are not welcome). I feel plenty welcome, even if there's not women-specific content. But tbh, all mental health issues are not gender specific and I find plenty of help here. Just understanding men better helps. So thank you for building this community.
absolutely, he's such a great example. i wish there were more people like him. (i imagine he became like that with years of cultivating his compassion and deepening his understanding of common issues.)
He had a very varied experience. What we get is a distillation from medical studies, papers, monk training, coaching and clinical practice. Vast experience.
What helped me the most is the gate theory which was taught to me by a Vietnam veteran who was a psychologist, if you look at a panic attack as a gate that opens in the mind, you can then learn to control this gate, and keep it closed. You can feel the gate opening when the panic attack starts hitting, numb hands, racing heart, hyperventilating (unknowingly). If you can learn to look for these signs, acknowledge them, and learn the skills to stop them in their tracks (four step breathing), you can keep the gate from opening. It caused something to click in my brain, and I got off the Xanax and never had a panic attack again.
Thanks so much for this video. As someone with diagnosed "complex/chronic" PTSD from childhood which includes developmental trauma that interacts with my comorbid ADHD, I have often wished that more people could know and understand what it is really like to live with trauma and how much it impacts a person from the inside out so that they could have more empathy for me when I feel debilitated in everyday life or display behaviors and mindsets that they cannot otherwise comprehend. I hope videos like this inspire a new wave of compassion and empathy and collective healing.
I’m 53, female, not a gamer at all. AND I am insanely grateful for Dr. K’s work here. Truly. I’ve been doing therapy (1x/month) since last August, C-PTSD. Didn’t have a clue that all the crap I survived counts as C-PTSD… I’m chuffed that Dr. K has a module on it. Can’t wait to get to it.
24:02 I almost drowned in a river when I was 6-years-old. After that, not only was I afraid of large bodies of water, but even something as simple as bathing was a terrifying experience for me. Especially when it was time to wash my hair. Feeling water over my head invoked an incredible psychological pain that felt like physical pain where the water landed on my head. My parents would fight me to wash my hair for years. People are surprised to learn I can't swim, and are equally so when I explain why.
Have you considered EFT (emotional Freedom technique) type tapping methods? They have a pretty good success rate for these types of trauma symptoms. Good luck to you
I have cptsd and it's been even more of a challenge because my abuser was my brother. So I've had all the symptoms of PTSD but everyone telling me "oh brothers and sisters never get along/all brothers are jerks/your situation is normal". Basically on a daily basis I have to sit down with myself and reaffirm that he was a controlling person in my life and treated me way worse than any "bad brother" I've ever heard of, and that my experience is valid. I even point to how I act and say to myself: see, you wouldn't have these sorts of reactions if you two "just didn't get along". Along with cptsd I have a complex about not being believed. Wonder where that comes from. Lol.
Same. My brother was horrible to me. Way beyond a normal brother. My parents always felt bad for him though and told me to not take his behavior so seriously. Okay but maybe he shouldn't be slamming his sister's head into the wall regardless of how his life is going.
Sometimes I really hold onto and relish in how terrible I am feeling physically and mentally, when I am hyperventlating or crying.. or feeling really despaired. I have these fucked up thoughts like... see.. this is real, this really did hurt you... this is proof that something bad really did happen.
Same here. I was 28/29 before I recieved that diagnosis, 5 years later, I'm really starting to make some progress towards building the life that I want. Keep pushing. It'll be a very long road but there is hope and you're not alone!
recovery is a long journey. but if you’re living with ptsd you’ve already lived through hell and survived, so I know you can find your way to a better place.
Same, I got it through a former abusive boss and then jumping into a toxic job after quitting. Couple that with childhood trauma and depression still lingering from a breakup years ago and my life is basically in shambles right now. Have been slowly rebuilding my life over the years.
My partner and I , we both have CPTSD, we watched this on our tv like a Saturday morning news show. I’ll be honest, it was a hard watch , but we’re getting that trauma pack when it drops and we are gonna stay the course. Much love to everyone who is here on their journey. We have a long road ahead, with many a dragons. Yet, take solace in the fact that you are not alone.
pls look into Hoffman process 1 week in your country, if you can afford it, but you will need to attend in different intakes, not allowed with your partner simultaneously
You explain this better than anyone I have ever listened to. I was diagnosed with CPTSD years ago and I have never really been able to clarify what I am doing day to day to reveal that vulnerability. Thank you so much.
I relate to so much of this and have been told I have CPTSD by a therapist I saw while in med school (thus I moved away for residency and can no longer see them). I’d really like to see a therapist well versed in this topic to help guide me through overcoming the ways I still feel so held back by my own nervous system, but my experience has been it’s rare for therapists to be adept in tackling the complexities that go along with healing from how you grew up. Might buy the guide, I just feel like working with someone in real time will feel like a missing piece, and also, I don’t know if spending all of that time watching content alone will really be good for me or will just lead to more sadness about always having had to power through things alone in life due to never really having a healthy, supportive family.
Cptsd patient here. With paranoia and borderline. Thank you so much for this easy to understand analyses . You have know idea the good you are doing, taking the time to explain our suffering. And trying to find a solution. Thank you
26:44 I wish people would talk about siblings abusing their younger siblings. For me, it was my older brother throughout my whole childhood being manipulative and physically abusive, not my parents.
I understand how you feel as it was a friend who caused my chronic dissociation. You never hear anyone give any weight to the damage a toxic friendship can do in key developmental periods. The best way to tie it together is to understand that your parents lay the foundations of the situation from how they attached with you as a child (and in your case chose to neglect to protect you from your sibling) Then you have to choose to be your own advocate in your mind and not allowing yourself to deny your suffering at the hands of this other person. It doesn't matter if Dr K or anyone else has never covered sibling (or friend) abuse but YOU know what you went through and who caused it. You are the expert of your own experience. Anything that can be said about our experience with abusive or neglectful parents absolutely applies to any other person who caused us damage in our life, then the compounding factor is that your parent who was the person who SHOULD have protected you as a helpless person, did not. I wish you all the best in healing these wounds and finding a pillar of strength within yourself.
Recap: CPTSD & its Impact: 1:18:22 "Sudden mood changes, going into a funk for no reason" I'm just getting to the point where I don't do this, or if I do I can pull myself out of it quickly. Really wish this information had been around years ago, but I'm so grateful for what information I was able to get. The 90s was when a lot of this stuff started circulating in the general populace, don't know what I'd have done without it.
Also Dr. K, I would love to see a video on your thoughts on IFS and psychedelics (potential benefits and risks) especially with the potential approval of MDMA by the FDA this fall. They both have substantially helped me in my journey but there’s a lot of information that isn’t empirically backed by clinical studies. Also going into potential tools like EMDR or bilateral stimulation techniques.
Thank you for what you do, Dr. K. The effort and passion is comendable, also being approachable and down to earth. As a psych student it's very inspiring and I really do aspire to help people like you do. Also had a blast interacting in chat, very cool community!
I am in the process of building that sens of identity and it is a very hard line to ride for me. I have felt like I am worthless and deserve basically nothing for so long that now trying to stand up for myself makes me go overboard to defend myself extra hard. I definitly need to work on having the right to be treated as a human without feeling entitled to it and getting super angry when I feel disrespected
Maaaaaan. Thank you so much for this information. I'm 27 and my whole life i been struggling with that! I been diagnosed with ADHD and Depression but never PTSD or CPTSD. Everything you say make so much sense to me. I can relate to every single word here. This is such a grate point of finally being able to fix it. It impossible to fix a problem when you don't even know what is your problem! This is WILD!
18:52 Ok, so this is actually a thing. Blast neuro-trauma, specifically the polytraumatic profile from IEDs and other extreme concussive blasts. There's a lot of subtle damage going on for service personnel (and civilians) like from extreme changes in air-pressure, regular old concussion, blunt and piercing trauma... And it's not only the brain which is damaged. MTBI (mild traumatic brain injury) is a major factor in PTSD in general, especially for military personnel.
I got diagnosed with CPTSD (among other things) this month. Really nice timing that you upload a new video on this topic. So far it has been really validating and it makes a lot of sense.
I never thought I had it "bad enough" to have PTSD, let alone CPTSD. But hearing this made me realize that a lot of what I do, think, how I react, and what I perceive as "normal" is just from decades of learned response.
Living with C-PTSD the expresses through OCD. Patrick Teahan also has a great channel on RUclips for trauma informed care. He specializes in childhood trauma, I've found him a great resource.
I’d love to come on and talk about my experience with military PTSD and how that connects with my childhood C-PTSD at some point If you were interested in that. I saw an interview you did with someone a few weeks ago and thought that was really great!
Thank you for this video. I have extremely severe complex ptsd. This helps understand things just a little bit further. I’ve been watching your chanel for a good while now and I recommend you to tons of people all the time. You have so many topics that just fascinate me and I more than enjoy the way you look at things and help us see them. Normally I don’t bring this stuff up but I feel it’s kinda important cuz your educational and you really help a lot of people. But I can’t stand the sound of swallowing and it’s a severe part of my ptsd. I forget what the fobia or whatever it’s called but it’s a big plague in my life. Causes me to lose a lot of friends and family. Usually your videos don’t usually have those sounds in them. I don’t know if the mike placement was different but please. I want to keep watching these videos. My bad for my stupid complaint but please and thank you. You help me a lot and I hope this is isn’t too annoying of a comment.
I imagine some people, myself included, would benefit from you linking the articles that you're referring to numerous time throughout this and other videos. Appreciate all the hard work.
This is an incredibly helpful video :’) I didn’t know C-PTSD is experienced as a combination of a dysregulated nervous system, lack of identity, and trouble with relationships. My trauma is rooted in neglectful and controlling behaviors from my parents while growing up.
Yeah, I read the Kindle sample out of curiosity but then bought it immediately. Never been diagnosed (never really tried, either) yet that book helped me more than anything else I've read.
thanks Dr. K this has been helpful, my mother was recently diagnosed with cPTSD and the family has had a hard time in our relationships with her for many years. this kind of video helps bridge my understanding for managing this even if only a bit
CPTSD is the hardest illness I've ever had to deal with. It makes me doubt or downplay all my other health issues, confounds diagnosis, and makes life impossible.
im glad this is being talked about more. so much of our society is built to be traumatic. A lot of us are walking around with cptsd because our parents are overwhelmed, burnt out, uneducated or told how to discipline kids harshly...and children dont trust their parents enough to talk about sexual abuse, or lack the support and care they need to thrive. something needs to desperately change, our society is falling apart because so many children are harmed and then grow up to repeat the entire cycle.
I like your chamnel Dr. Been watching a your vids for a few months now and I've watched you talk with easy to chat with people and somewhat difficult people and I love the example you set for giving people space and letting people fully say what they need to say, while still managing to keep the discussion organized and calm. That really inspires me to do better. You're a very smart fella! 😎👍
CPTSD, Social Anxiety with Agoraphobia and burnout is what I was diagnosed with after 40 years of abuse - physical, mental and emotional. This is the best information I have ever heard about what it all means. Thank you so much for caring about all of us enough to do all this for us. None of it was from my parents, my first husband started the whole journey. I was 18 the first time I was hit and my life spiralled downwards from there…
I attended the trauma workshop and it was amazing to learn the science behind my condition. I've happy that that the HG team decided to make this available to even more people.
@@andreacunningham5696 ah ok, all good. Yeah I've done therapy but his stuff is so good. The idea of physically feeling emotions and connecting to your body was really great, as well as the planning for thf future studf
Starting with the body can be super overwhelming for some folks with trauma especially trans folks and folks with sexual trauma, so just be aware of that if that's you. Potentially an IFS therapist could be really helpful for navigating that.
I appreciate your honesty about having to look things up sometimes. If every psychologist would be that honest, health system would be a whole lot better.
i only managed to get halfway through this episode as it was a lot for me to emotionally take in i downloaded judith herman's book 'trauma and recovery', skimmed a few pages and haven't stopped crying since (it's been an hour) my point is thank you dr.k for your work. i've had so many therapists in my life and they are all unskilled regarding c-ptsd. i'm having to teach myself how to heal and content like yours is quite literally life saving. again, thank you 🙏🙏🙏
The most comprehensive and easy-to-digest - and free - breakdown of what trauma is and how to deal with it. Words won't be enough to describe my gratitude - but thank you.
I have diagnosed cptsd and yes you can have enough of a self to fight back. It just flickers in and out. I've been abused my entire life by a malignant vulnerable presenting father and a covert vulnerable mother. My drive since 7 was getting free and safely escaping one day. My body got broken by being psychological sacrificed and getting multiple auto immune illnesses, cptsd, major depression, and severe anxiety that's dibilated me. I'm physically and financially unable to leave. Also...still being currently stuck in the same abusive situation I'm 36 now and been trying to heal and help since 7. So that means the exact same abuses are repeatedly being done to dehumanize me daily. It is the same causes, the same abusers, the same environment. It's not always a mystery and it's not always in the past. Sometimes you just can't escape from it no matter what you try and it becomes torture and that intensity and duration and isolation and lack of any actual healthy support play huge parts.
And yeah also....meditation isn't always best for severely traumatized people with cptsd. Mindfulness is effective and gentler. If you do decide to meditate try finding trauma informed kind. Moving around does help though. If you have chronic pain and bad flair ups though I'd say more gentler, purposeful movements and stretching help more. And definitely remember to breathe. Sometimes I know I forget to and it raises eye pressure and makes it harder to think.
I just wanted to say I see and hear you. You're totally right, of course. I'm so sorry you are stuck there and I fervently hope you find a foothold or bit of leverage that can help you get out and get better in whatever order that would have to happen in. ❤
Glad I came across this video! You have a great way of explaining this and as a vet student I really appreciate the medical and scientific explanations :) Seems like I may have c-ptsd but I'm certainly going to talk to a professional about it. Think I got it from being forced into an inpatient mental health institution as a pre-teen ironically. Hopefully I can figure it out. I always wondered why I no longer have any awareness of my emotions, why I ruined relationships and why I've lost my sense of self. Thank you for an informative stream :)
OH MY F-ing god my Dr was right I didn't fully understand my condition but I now understand alot better than I did before and I seem to be a bit farther into recovery than I thought because I dove head on into rebuilding myself from the ground up. Still alot of work to do, but understanding a bit better will definitely be helpful on my journey.
Thank you so much, Dr. K. I just bought your guide. I was diagnosed with CPTSD four years ago and this video describes my experience better than anything else I’ve come across.
I really love that you see this as a real issue I’ve seen a few online influencers that are therapist/psychiatrist an say that Cptsd isn’t real or isn’t study enough an it’s just shocking to know we are truely getting light to this shit thank you
Hi Dr K.! I’ve started to watch your videos more and more There a few moments where I feel so heard and finally a voice given to what I’ve been feeling my whole life. Im so grateful for you and your team.
My ptsd seems impossible to go away bc my issue won’t go away, being exposed to an ongoing traumatic event doesn’t get easier ppl wait till im “okay” again to talk to me just to continue to harm me, I can’t handle another conversation w ppl trying to mess w my head, humiliate me, or provoke me, but I discovered my sense of self bc I no longer need their definition of me, they don’t even see me as human
The description of identity based issues and relationship issues really hit home. I wish that it was more clear when receiving treatment that this is apart of the PTSD though. I always viewed myself as being socially inept or having something wrong with me but it’s because of trauma and PTSD. I viewed myself as a failure for not knowing what I wanted to do with my life or what I even liked to do. I realize that it’s pretty difficult to know what you want when you don’t really know or understand yourself because you’ve never had the space to do that. I didn’t really start living life for myself until I left home and even then it took a while for me to learn how to do that.
This is one of the best most comprehensive explanations of CPTSD I’ve heard heard and I’m so grateful, I realised last year at 28 I must have CPTSD and it explains so much about my life
i suffer from CPTSD. I often feel scared that certain scenario's will repeat like they did in the past. I used to be so brave in life. I don't have much of self esteem left, and I just don't understand why doing nornal things is so hard for me. I remember who I was before. Strong, ambitious, athletic, a go getter, smart, hard working. This is so infuriating, I can't handle bullying or intense situations now. That healthy ego I once had, the drive, and hope for my future is fading.
I got my CPTSD diagnosis at 19 (currently 28). It explained everything. I thought I was just “weird” but once I realized, it was a lot easier for me to work on myself from that place of self compassion and understanding. I’ve made tremendous progress over the last decade. Picking not great partners has been my last biggest challenge but even that has gotten better. Great stream Dr K.
Thank you so much! This video has described my problems in great detail that 6 months of CBT didn't address(ie the problems are my thoughts). You've explained what happened to me and why I have certain problems like initiating relationships. I got sent to a boarding school as a child and I learned how not to meet my emotional needs, that no-one cared about me and that expressing my emotions led to bullying.
I was diagnosed CPTSD a few years ago, and even still it feels so isolating for it to be assumed like PTSD. I'm so relieved you have pointed out the distinction
Hi Dr K…im from the uk..a psychologist & psychiatrist have both aimed at me having C-PTSD with BPD..so hard to get diagnosed over here!!..a brilliant podcast..im going to re watch a few times..im understanding the need to look more into childhood crap & work more on my bad behaviour within relationships..my kids, I didn’t want them to go through what I did..yet I have..I feel rubbish when I think of everything iv done..and them things I need to write & work on
I'm C-PTSD diagnosed. The fun thing about PTSD is you can just keep tagging on new traumas if you never learn how to cope. Ive seen like 10 therapists and 5 psychiatrists over the past 7 years and only one therapist has been helpful, and she had a C-PTSD diagnosis herself and was why she got into therapy. I moved states and couldnt see her anymore but haven't found a comparable therapist yet
@@ulhi7564 so it's out of state and I'm on state insurance that doesn't cover it if it's not in state, but I'm trying a new therapist that was recommended to me soon :) it's hard but I feel like there's nothing to do but keep trying
yeah, you can ask for online sessions. I feel like since you've already worked with her, you'll be able to avoid the usual problem of establishing a connection
01:17:30 - Strong sense of Self _(dig into that : roles, what process do you aim at / "I want to be....that type of person", "I want to own...that role")_ The issues in not having a strong identity.
Just when things are going well, somebody comes along and triggers my PTSD again and I spend months trying to recover from depression and self doubt. When will this hell ever end. And yes, I’ve gone for help but nobody seems to be able to help me or wants to, too old to be helped I suspect.
Sibling abuse is a way more common cause of cptsd than acknowledged. Many right now talk about the impact of bullying but somehow siblings bullying you is normal.
1:09:41 fear responses and other negative emotions helped me survive. Anxiety helped me do chores well and complete assignments in time. Love and positive emotions feel almost painful because, so often, experience of those emotions was followed by deep disappointment or situations which taught me to doubt the authenticity or persistence of those positive experiences.
I have CPTSD and it SUCKS! Today I thought I was dying and had to call my doctor on the phone crying to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. I had no awareness that I was having a panic attack until the doctor told me on the phone and I have had panic attacks for years. It's incredibility disorientating. When Dr. K spoke about not recognizing emotions I completely resonated with that!
*Introduction & Disclaimers:* 08:48
*Community Requests & HealthyGamer Guide:* 10:28
*What is CPTSD?:* 16:23
- Prevalence of PTSD & CPTSD: 16:43
- History of PTSD & CPTSD: 18:07
- Core Features of PTSD: 21:06
- Illustration of PTSD: 21:58
- Chronic Trauma & CPTSD: 26:33
- Visualizing PTSD vs CPTSD: 27:58
- Early Trauma & Perpetrators: 30:09
- Judith Herman & "Trauma and Recovery": 31:18
- Bessel van der Kolk & "The Body Keeps the Score": 33:25
*Understanding Trauma:* 33:47
- Hyperarousal: 35:04
- Dissociation: 41:18
- The Role of Emotions: 47:58
- Loss of Identity: 50:22
- Impulsivity & Paralysis of Initiation: 59:51
- Relationships & CPTSD: 1:03:42
- Relationships & Disturbed Sense of Self: 1:14:36
- Recap: CPTSD & its Impact: 1:18:22
*Treatment & Recovery:* 1:21:10
- Trauma as Adaptation: 1:21:39
- Rewiring Physiology: 1:22:46
- Reconnecting with Emotions: 1:30:33
- Articulating Emotions & Language: 1:37:13
- Social Cognitive Emotions & Relationships: 1:43:44
*Video from the HealthyGamer Guide: Paralysis of Initiation:* 2:03:21
*Q&A:* 2:21:11
- Disagreeing with your therapist: 2:22:19
- Going to therapy for the first time: 2:32:34
- Differentiating ADHD and CPTSD: 2:26:32
- CPTSD, Addiction, & Sense of Worthlessness: 2:34:29
- Trauma from incubator experience: 2:39:19
- Impact of different household styles on CPTSD: 2:40:23
- Safety & Trauma Healing: 2:42:09
- Bringing up CPTSD with a therapist: 2:49:23
- Explaining CPTSD to a family member: 2:52:56
- Will trauma ever go away?: 2:57:26
- Addressing trauma sources in the world: 2:58:03
- Building a sense of self: 3:00:09
- Resisting trauma treatment: 3:00:44
- Curing CPTSD: 3:01:26
- Trauma treatment & happiness: 3:02:14
*Closing Remarks & Trauma Guide Preview:* 3:09:20
You're definitely goat! Thanks so much
Holy crap, dude.
Thank you!
Goat
You are an absolute saint
Thanks again!! ❤
interesting how abusive childhood home survivors get compared to prisoners of war.
it certainly did feel that feel
look into Hoffman process 1 week in your country, if you can afford it.
best thing i ever did to address my childhood in a,dysfunctional family
It makes so much sense when you look at it from a neurological and developmental angle, that's what helped me realize why I was so affected. A little kid's brain doesn't know that they're not necessarily in danger of being k.i.lled, it just knows that you're in the most danger that you have ever been in. So seeing a raised fist while your parent is screaming means the same thing to your brain that a POW's brain experiences when seeing one of their captors approach with a weapon. And it's the same situation of NEVER being safe. The people who are providing for your needs could snap and harm you at any time so you can't let your guard down, ever. Idk, I may be off but I think about my experience that way now and it made me feel like I can maybe heal from it someday.
Imagine growing up in abusive household AND in a warzone. As a friend of mine said: "War in home, war on the streets." (We're from Bosnia)
@@lejlateletovic5225 that sounds unfathomably hellish, I hope you are ok now
Absolutely! Reading The Body Keeps The Score and finally having someone be able to explain my brain when I couldn't and it being compared to being a veteran/someone in armed forces absolutely destroyed me in the best way possible because I was able to finally piece myself together from the scraps my parents tore me down to. It was incredibly sad yet freeing in a weird way. Hope you are finding or have found the life, joy and healing you deserve ❤️
Struggled with CPTSD for 20 years and finally in a good relationship.. I'm struggling so much with being anxious, angry, isolating, avoiding, hypervigilance... I don't even know what healthy is. I hope I can be a better partner.
@@Sycophantichallenger Pete Walker's book and essays on complex PTSD might help you deal with the inner critic. The neuroaffective relational model could be another avenue. When in doubt, imagine a stranger or perhaps a child in your position expressing the same doubts and feelings of unworthiness and generally being "less than". Whatever you might tell them, tell that to your current self.
Well I'm not sure I have any authority over this topic but I would suggest being open with your partner about your struggles and how you may unintentionally or unknowingly do these things. This way if anything does happen they would be better prepared for that and not be as shocked, or whatever they may feel. Good luck!
@SiliconChimera I've also gotten great mileage out of "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk. Very, very good for understanding what's going on in my head and what I can do about it.
I can relate to this so much. I get episodes of extreme anger, which I related to when he mentioned the "seizure" likeness. The emotional disconnection that I get afterwards makes it super hard for me to co-live with my partner and daughter.
Currently in therapy, hoping I can at least get rid of the episodes before my daughter has to experience it.
I'm also a survivor of cptsd and have been learning how to be a good partner. What has helped me a lot is telling myself that my emotional flashbacks are normal for what I went through. It's very easy to judge ourselves for reacting the way we do because what we are experiencing doesn't always match up with what triggered the flashback. Be kind to yourself when you notice you've had or are having an emotional flashback. You deserve to love yourself and heal from your pain and your partner also wants that for you❤. You are not alone in feeling the ways you do. I wish you well.
it was so comforting to hear Dr K say the C-PTSD is something one can heal from
Yes, I’ve done a lot of reading online around CPTSD and the overarching sentiment was that it can’t be cured, and it’s something you’ll have to deal with for the rest of your life. I’ve felt very hopeless for a long time… maybe there is hope after all.
I'm in remission for CPTSD, it IS possible and SO SO worth it!! I believe in you, but the best results come when you begin to believe in yourself. I wish you a peaceful road to recovery.
I recommend the works of Lisa Romano 🙏🏾, you will heal sister
@@chocomentalIf you had experienced it in early childhood, it may have shaped you in ways that can no longer be fully reversed, BUT you can heal from a very large portion of the negative stuff.
@@detBits How can I trust myself to make decisions for myself when my choices got me here?
How do I find motivation to keep trying when I've tried for so many decades and seen no impact?
I have cptsd and it has left me with a stunted ability to feel anger; I disassociate from it. Anger exists to let us establish personal boundaries. Learning to do this (anger/boundaries) at 50+ is very hard.
I had a panic attack at work today because I thought I messed something up that turned out to be fine. I've been at the job for eleven years and am a valued employee. I wouldn't have gotten fired, or even experienced major consequences, but I felt terrified and worthless and couldn't bear the thought of letting people down. I know it's because of my experiences growing up. I'm working hard in therapy, and life is mostly good now, but if it ever seems like someone, especially an authority figure, might get angry with me, it can send me back to those childhood feelings. I realized later that a coworker that triggered me was probably dealing with his own childhood stuff. But nobody wants to talk about it in a workplace. You just learn how to step around each other's "quirks" and "eccentricities," which are likely trauma symptoms showing up in different ways for different people.
It's harder to deal with those feelings, when you've actually been fired in the past
I work high tech and feel your sentiments with regard to emotional triggers at work.
Because we are in therapy for CPTSD we have the advantage as we are aware of our body response to situations. We also have agency to take a time out if needed to self regulate/integrate any parts that might be triggered.
I'm two years into therapy and consider myself still on the Surviving side of the spectrum w/ my goal toward Thriving!
I'm finding myself journaling a lot of the nervous system responses at work and sharing them with my trauma therapist. It's something I look forward to... as I try to reparent/build healthy self agency.
I get tons of termination anxiety at work all the time too.
I am not necessarily the companies favorite and I do think they have a very toxic culture but still I definitely get an irrational fear of being fired as if every day I clock in could be my last day
CPTSD is being in fight or flight 24/7/365. Its exhausting. Love and solidarity to everyone who survived and those of us who didn't. ❤
I was sexually abused as a child by my own sibling. I grew up very sexually active in my teens, always struggled with my emotions, was diagnosed with general depression in my teens, still struggle with my emotions, mainly anger, at almost 30. Had postpartum depression, and for the longest time until a few months ago, had passive suicidal thoughts. I never knew or associated what happened to me as a child to affect me so much in my adulthood, or my whole life in general, but specifically adulthood. At some point, I couldn't even have intercourse with my husband because of actual intrusive thoughts and I'd break down crying.
These videos and others, have helped me so much come to terms and really try to better myself, I still struggle but me and my husband do see an improvement in myself. Thank you for talking about cptsd. ❤
🫂
yep those intrusive thoughts.
I hope you have a way to heal this inside you and have a happier life. You're not broken though, it's an experience that shapes your life.
Dude and his team are informing the next generation of mental health
This video will save lives
I'm not sure if you mean the next generation of people, or the future of our understanding, but I agree and think he's doing both, and even passing on the humble wisdom that he's doing it imperfectly. And that taht's okay, because it's just the next step.
@@cliftut I just mean in the sense that it’s so difficult to get well informed about these things without going to therapy. I don’t have health insurance and don’t have extra cash for therapy, but hearing him describe these various issues in depth makes me feel like I’m not alone, and that there’s also a path to recovery! I used to feel like “I’m the only person dealing with this specific of an issue” and this makes me feel seen. I’m sure his videos do that for many others who haven’t had the resources/motivation to go to therapy yet.
💯
CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker will blow your mind and support you in ways that you need if you have CPTSD.
Yes! also, Tim Fletcher here on RUclips is phenomenal, he is diving really deep into every aspect of CPTSD and helped me a lot.
@@eldonscott9 it’s my Bible ❤️
@@johannakeller7209 Tim Fletcher Is Amazing
Life changing!
It’s a good book, but it was also the most painful book I’ve ever read. Had to take so many breaks because I kept getting awful flashbacks while reading.
But it was worth it. The book cleared up SO many things… and of course the first step towards healing is understanding what’s happening.
I’m diagnosed with both CPTSD and BPD and developing a stronger sense of identity has been the most helpful thing for me by far in regards to recovery
How'd you do that?
Yes, explain please
@@xXTiggaBoBXxi completly lost mine at one point and for me i just completly decided these are the things i am and decided to do things according to that decpite if i belived it or not and eventually it just became who i am
I have the similar diagnoses, except military related PTSD. How did you find a stronger sense of identity? I don't even know who I am or who I want to be. Like an empty shell, an NPC.
@@kibblesnbits3174hi. old boring childhood traumas, but i feel exactly the same... your description is very accurate
don't have any advice for you, if you find something that helps - let me know, lol
I always feel like I've got a few traits of everything such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, even autism, and I even have a diagnosis of a couple of them. Then this explanation of cptsd and how these traits can show in everyone and how my childhood was full of this type of ongoing trauma really helps me find where I fit in and where to work on things. Thanks so much for this explanation and I look forward to using the trauma guide.
Yeah, this one can be tricky and you can end up feeling misunderstood and like a misfit, coz they’ll give you all the labels that just doesn’t feel right. Actually so many labels fit us that some people can just stop looking for the right one and give up. Good thing we have dr K 😌
I want to note: CPTSD type effects can happen even if parents aren't obviously neglectful or abusive, and even if they are well-intentioned. "Emotional malnutrition", as I call it, seems to be the core issue. Loving parents can have disabilities, emotional issues of their own, practical problems like money issues, difficulty connecting with a child due to personality differences or neurodivergence in parent or child, their own traumas or subtler things from their past, etc. Also, a lot of time is spent at school and the damage can happen there, compounded if the parents don't know or can't help for reasons that may be out of their control. Exposure to frightening information about the world also occurs much more frequently at young ages via technology and other reason these days, too.
I think "innocent harm", just due to the conditions of human life, is something that gets overlooked, and often times there's little fair blame to be placed because of where everyone was at emotionally and knowledge-wise. Parents can't do what they don't know how, can't see what they don't know exists.
So for those who notice they have the symptoms or patterns yet never felt neglected or abused, and knew their parents cared, this could be an explanation. Of course, when neglect or abuse occur it can also be hard to realize, so it shouldn't be ruled out. The point is that sometimes emphasis is placed on blame or finding out "who was responsible" when it's really not the problem. Sometimes the problem is simply the tragedy of life.
Thankfully, the same paths to healing generally apply. So even if you don't see yourself as neglected or abused, your emotions and sense of safe connection may not have been nurtured, or suffered damages. So seek out your malnourished or poisoned emotions and heal them.
Best wishes!
Thank you this is how I’m learning to view things and recognizing that I may have been traumatized by seemingly “innocent” events where the lesson I learned was to hide my mistakes and feel shame; there was no way for anyone to know I was so negatively effected and led to intense masking, anxiety, etc. etc. etc. I think my parents did their best but they had issues and biases and little psychological education. I know that there could still be some underlying trauma I haven’t fully uncovered yet, but this way of thinking opens the door and allows me to heal without trying to blame my parents for everything. Thanks for saying it so well. I always told myself there was no REASON for me to be depressed & anxious & felt shame for experiencing them, but there are a million reasons including undiagnosed ADHD & what you’ve explained so well.
Such great points!
Ohhh the term 'emotional malnutrition' deeply hits home... ouch and thank you so much
For anyone reading this and resonating with it, the book Running on Empty by Jonice Webb is a fantastic resource for this.
Thank you for this. This is an exceptional comment. And very middle grounded.
1:02:00 impulsivity I think is also result of the fact that you know you don't normally have any emotional drive to do anything, therefore to actively live, to be alive. You want to but you can't, you just don't have it. So when an impulse comes around, you grab onto it and move forward with it, cause you gotta frickin try, you need to break the lethargy somehow. It really sucks to live like this, and it takes such a painfully long time with constant dedicated effort to gradually very slowly get better. Maykeit has been a blessing, thank you dr K and team ❤
Your comment is making me bawl, I struggle with this, and it is hard to generate hope that the situation is changeable for any decent length of time. I hear and so feel your words. Bless you xxx
@@guzmaynard8768 it is changeable, only in the long term. There are cycles of expansion - contraction. Advancing and integrating, three steps forward two backwards. Extremely frustrating, but possible and worth it. Just keep on going even when you don't believe in it. Cause the alternative is giving up, and that cannot be an option, if you've met people that gave up you know that is not an option.
It'll be alright, just stay committed to yourself and your growth. Blessings to you xxx
@@guzmaynard8768 I come back to this 2 months later, and I can tell you, if only you keep on choosing to not give up, if you keep on betting for hope, even while in dispair, the veil will lift. I am finally past the tipping point and I can relax with a user-friendly mind, ego and self with which I am developing reciprocal relationships of love. Three years ago I was wishing for death, I couldn't recognize myself, I only experienced wellbeing in one-second bursts once in a month, only to painfully remind me of my misery. So I can tell you, keep on going even while you feel it's impossible, cause you have everything to win and nothing to lose, and because the world is full of broken people that did give up and that is not an existence I could risk myself falling into (I've known enough of them, too closely, and at times their cautionary example was the only thing to keep me trying cause I felt no hope. I thank them for that).
I can recommend the RUclips channel "This Jungian life". Together with therapy, they have really helped me give words to what happened to me, and a sense of clarity and direction, a notion that everything that I have been going through is a process of development that leads me to be a more completed and grounded and robust person.
Wish you luck
I had to stop the video after about 30 mins (I'll come back to try to watch it later). You've really hit on something here 🙁. My therapist recently told me I have a lot of trauma-response like behaviors. This has led me to try to start researching c-ptsd, since the symptoms lined up. And watching this video is really hitting a nerve. Thanks for this. I'll come back when I'm more emotionally prepared. I feel like I'm getting closer to finding answers to why I am the way that I am (avoidant, extremely low self esteem, lifelong relationship/commitment issues, high anxiety, etc). Please keep doing what you're doing Dr. K. 💖
search for Hoffman process 1 week in your country if u can afford it
Right there with you. Hope you can continue your healing journey and watch the full video. I actually bought the guides so I can use the targeted meditation to help calm me down when the content of his or other videos makes TOO MUCH sense and I want to process it without avoiding it completely. It’s a slower, safer way to go through stuff, you can read a summary of the video before watching and decide if you’re ready for that lesson or not. I think all the guides are helpful & the best deal, but at least start with the trauma guide and the meditation guide of you can!
Jesus i came to the comments to see if anyone felt like i did watching, i'm 35 minutes in and i was close to having a panic attack, had to stop but i need to know more
Watching the whole thing and actually listening to understand it all is very tough for me as well. Going at our own pace is very important to give our brain the ability to assimilate all the informations with the presence of so many triggers.. Second time watching it and only now realising that I can't remember most of what I watched the first time. Now making it to the halfway point and feeling reassured to know that I'm not the only one struggling through it. Thank you for your comments! Now I know it's okay to take the time needed and thank you Dr. K for making this video 💚 it's beautifully explained and every second is a masterpiece of its own! Now time to follow though with an attempt to some yoga to release some of that stress.
Dr.K, PLEASE, we need an entire separate 3 hour video on how to find a therapist who is ACTUALLY trauma informed. Every therapist's profile says they work with PTSD / CPTSD patients. They decidedly do not. 😂 I kept breaking my therapists, and it makes me feel REALLY guilty, so I stopped looking. Not to mention the hassle and expense and time of going through therapist after therapist only to come up feeling more broken than ever. I feel more trauma informed than most of the people I've worked with. They were lovely people. I think they have mostly been good therapists for most people with less intense experiences to divulge. But, if they can't hear your really traumatic stuff without becoming significantly disregulated themselves, they aren't up to the task. We can't BOTH be significantly disregulated, bruh. 😂 I'm tired of having to comfort and give therapy to my therapists.
This is so true! I’ve had the same experience. I’ve had so many trauma therapists who supposedly specialize in trauma therapy but didn’t seem to understand CPTSD at all. I once had a therapist where I told him I had childhood trauma and he wanted to do a PTSD assessment. The PTSD assessment focuses on one traumatic event. I told him I didn’t have just one, I had multiple, and he said to just pick one of them and focus on that when answering questions. I’m like, that’s not how it works!? And with my current therapist, I started telling her about a memory I had and she cut me off and said she couldn’t handle hearing about it anymore. She’s really nice and great in many ways, but I was a little taken back by that because it’s one of my more painful memories and I feel like it’s important for me to talk about. I can definitely relate to feeling more informed than therapists themselves. At this point, I’ve done a lot of research on PTSD and CPTSD and I often feel like I understand it better than some of the therapists I’ve had. It really can be so difficult to find the right therapist. It gets very frustrating. Low key I wish Dr. K could be my therapist lol or someone as good of a therapist as he is. He seems to really know what he’s talking about on these topics.
I made a therapist cry during our session 😂😂 she said it was just something in her eye, but it happened twice and suspiciously close to me talking about some childhood stuff
This. So much this.
Now I have trauma responses from 40 years of problematic experiences with mental health professionals who weren't equipped to help me with the trauma responses that were hijacking my life. I'm like, man, I'm trying to Do The Things. Therapy is supposed to be one of The Things, ffs. But I keep breaking the therapist. Where do I find a (Previously) Really Fucked Up therapist? (TM) One who won't get that look on their face 30 minutes into the first appointment when I'm giving them the backstory? I need one of them.
I believe i found a trauma informed therapist.
Look for a therapist that has training specifically in things like exposure therapy, EMDR and even training with psychadelics.
I found one with EMDR. We talk about Polyvagal theory a lot and we are actively working through my deepest and darkest traumas.
My other advice is being assertive and straight to the point when you do the 15 minute consult call. Ask questions point blank like:
"What advanced training do you have with trauma?"
"What percent of your clients deal with ptsd and cptsd?"
"How long have you worked with trauma patients?"
"On a scale of 1 to 10 how informed on the principles and therapies of trauma would you say you are?"
"How many trauma patients have you lead to recovery?"
"What techniques do you use for patients with PTSD/CPTSD?"
If they seem like the wrong fit then thank them for their time and ask them if they know of anyone who possesses the training and expertise that you are looking for.
Hope that helps!
@@jessicablack9960 look for clinical psychologist with trauma specialist and should be 40+ age since they have enough knowledge and experience hopefully
And don't tell them that you have cptsd, just see with what and how are they going to diagnose you that way you will know if that therepist is right for you or not
In short put filters while choosing a therepist
CPTSD patients are the most difficult to work with, dissociation, flashbacks, nightmares. i feel really sorry for them everytime they come to my hospital
..and also insomnia..
Wait those aren’t normal…
you're describing primarily ptsd symptoms, not cptsd
@josyhavik not exactly, the cptsd has the same ones. at least i had
@@josyhavik There's overlap, particularly for CPTSD from abuse, depending on the type of coping modes the child develops, as I understand it.
I’ve struggled with cptsd as a gifted individual that showed up as body dysmorphia, depression, add and all of that without even knowing what was wrong with me. For 20 years I was so lonely, I didn’t know who I am and I was blaming myself for all of it. The last two years I started to educate myself about this and realised that there’s hope for me to heal and I can’t express how grateful I am to this channel. In this short time I finally can open up to my friends, to my parents. Now I can start living life
This was exactly what happened to me. I had interests when I was a child, biology and art. My father told me both are useless and I should work in IT or become a doctor. I became absolutely not interested in anything in life, so my father took it as a permission to push on me his interests "because he saw I didn't have any, didn't want me to rot in boredom and if he saw I was passionate about something he would let me do that (which honestly I think isn't true, he would make it for me as hard as possible)". That resulted in our poor relationship and me going no contact later.
Even if out of the best intentions, fathers can really fuck you up
This is my exact experience almost, don’t feel alone, I’m 28 and just now going to school and taking classes and working at a music store as well as another job that I hope to quit to leave my 9-5 to pursue music production, my dreams have been put on hold and actively denied and kept from me out of my reach be it through circumstance or individuals like our fathers. Plz don’t give up I know it occurs to you too that your art is useless please know it isn’t and those are just the ugly ghostly echoes of all the people who have tried to keep you from your dream. Now I’m so sad and low that I’m just now getting to do this in my life feels like my youth was ripped away from me, but just keep your dreams alive no matter how weak they become they can get stronger when you start healing. ❤️🩹
Have you considered a doctorate in Biology?
That's so dumb. Art makes and drives our culture, and biology...I don't think I need to explain why that's important. I hope you've been able to get creative since then or rediscover your own interests. .
Yep. My mom pushed music on me even though I was good at and preferred art. She was living what she wished her life was like through me. She never saw me and is STILL like that. I don’t blame her bc she also inherited the CPTSD from her mother but that doesn’t mean I want her toxicity in my life or for my kids.
She’s 75 and still like this. Both my brother and I limit contact with her as much as we can. It’s sad but it’s the only way we can keep someone that toxic at arms length away from us.
I’m 57. I still have nightmares and flashbacks. Certain memories are still as triggering as it was then. And I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. 20 years of physical abuse really fucked me up.
"Happiness I cannot feel
And love to me is so unreal"
- Black Sabbath, "Paranoid"
I wish he could make a follow up video on how neurodivergency and CPTSD manifested together
This.
Yes this please. I've recently learned of a term "acquired neurodivergence" and I'd be interested to hear Dr Ks input on that. Specifically for me this would relate to trauma and ND traits.
From knowing a lot of neurodivergent people and being neurodivergent myself, I've noticed that a lot of us, especially those who went undiagnosed during childhood, end up developing some some form of C-PTSD from simply growing up in an environment that is tailored towards neurotypical people.
A lot of us struggled with being treated differently by our peers at school, being punished/scolded at home for behaving in neurodivergent ways (eg. being punished/scolded for forgeting things, struggling with homework, not getting social cues), and then on top of that being singled out and treated differently by teachers and the school system in general.
It leaves us feeling like there is something fundamentally wrong with us because everyone expects things from us that we are simply incapable of, and as the years pass it becomes an incredibly isolating experience, you don't want to act like yourself because you've learned it only brings you bad things but acting like a "normal" person drains you of all your energy and joy.
Sorry if this is overly specific but the amount of neurodivergent people I know who have this exact experience is worrying.
@@ashsanquer4612felt this very deeply, virtual hug 🫂
CPTSD can be present in individuals with Autism especially non verbal as they are unable to communicate their wants and needs in all environments. I strongly recommended looking into the ACES study as neurodivergence can actually be inherited trauma from the parent. It literally passes on through DNA.
I LOVE that you validated the existence of CPTSD!
I had a crisis line operator about 2 years ago told me that CPTSD doesn't exist and even if I did, I didn't have it. Like I'm no professional but I'm pretty sure that is NOT what you say to someone on the CRISIS LINE!
It's wild to me that many mental health professionals I have seen have never heard of CPTSD.
LOVE YOUR VIDEOS DR. K!
Bro that's some serious gaslighting wtf 💀 not only is cptsd real, but you also need a trauma - specialized therapist, other therapists can say completely wrong things. Source: I've tried a few therapists, specialized and not
my psychologist also told me I can't have it bc being cheated on and left repeatedly isn't bad enough for it to happen
@@zkxnkj534 they said what?!? Dang that’s so terrible! I hope you found a new psychologist! 😢
@@KoharuMacchiato I have, but it took me a few years to be able to open up again to someone
That's so sad. Here in New Zealand, many mental health workers were fired because they were not qualified and had no experience. They also did a lot of harm, both physical and mental. The government promised to get qualified and experienced mental health workers.
Dr. K is the best help on RUclips so far from 20 yrs of RUclips researching for healing. Bordetliner notes, Sam Vaknin, Van de Kolk EMDR, Linehan Radical Acceptance and dr. K have been helpful.
Vaknin is great. Elinor Greenborg is as well. Recommend Nancy McWilliams for good reading.
FWIW I'm female and don't feel like this channel/community is a "boy's club". It's men-focused a bit (gamer community is majority men) but that's not inherently bad. "Boys club" to me implies an exclusion mentality (ie, women are not welcome). I feel plenty welcome, even if there's not women-specific content. But tbh, all mental health issues are not gender specific and I find plenty of help here. Just understanding men better helps. So thank you for building this community.
I’m in the same boat c:
When you listen to Dr K you tend to get atleast one bit that resonates with yourself, I can't understand how someone becomes such an amazing person
absolutely, he's such a great example. i wish there were more people like him. (i imagine he became like that with years of cultivating his compassion and deepening his understanding of common issues.)
He had a very varied experience. What we get is a distillation from medical studies, papers, monk training, coaching and clinical practice. Vast experience.
What helped me the most is the gate theory which was taught to me by a Vietnam veteran who was a psychologist, if you look at a panic attack as a gate that opens in the mind, you can then learn to control this gate, and keep it closed. You can feel the gate opening when the panic attack starts hitting, numb hands, racing heart, hyperventilating (unknowingly). If you can learn to look for these signs, acknowledge them, and learn the skills to stop them in their tracks (four step breathing), you can keep the gate from opening. It caused something to click in my brain, and I got off the Xanax and never had a panic attack again.
I learned the same thing. And also co trolling the thought pattern that leads to a an attack
Dr. K starts at 8:50
legend
Thank you.
Thanks
Seriously who edits these videos
@@jamessmyth3952this is a livestream
Thanks so much for this video. As someone with diagnosed "complex/chronic" PTSD from childhood which includes developmental trauma that interacts with my comorbid ADHD, I have often wished that more people could know and understand what it is really like to live with trauma and how much it impacts a person from the inside out so that they could have more empathy for me when I feel debilitated in everyday life or display behaviors and mindsets that they cannot otherwise comprehend. I hope videos like this inspire a new wave of compassion and empathy and collective healing.
I’m 53, female, not a gamer at all. AND I am insanely grateful for Dr. K’s work here. Truly. I’ve been doing therapy (1x/month) since last August, C-PTSD. Didn’t have a clue that all the crap I survived counts as C-PTSD…
I’m chuffed that Dr. K has a module on it. Can’t wait to get to it.
24:02 I almost drowned in a river when I was 6-years-old. After that, not only was I afraid of large bodies of water, but even something as simple as bathing was a terrifying experience for me. Especially when it was time to wash my hair. Feeling water over my head invoked an incredible psychological pain that felt like physical pain where the water landed on my head. My parents would fight me to wash my hair for years. People are surprised to learn I can't swim, and are equally so when I explain why.
Have you considered EFT (emotional Freedom technique) type tapping methods? They have a pretty good success rate for these types of trauma symptoms.
Good luck to you
That sounds like regular ptsd. Still fucked up though
Tim Fletcher has a ton of videos on complex trauma if people need some additional resources.
I watch those too 😅
The GOAT
I have cptsd and it's been even more of a challenge because my abuser was my brother. So I've had all the symptoms of PTSD but everyone telling me "oh brothers and sisters never get along/all brothers are jerks/your situation is normal". Basically on a daily basis I have to sit down with myself and reaffirm that he was a controlling person in my life and treated me way worse than any "bad brother" I've ever heard of, and that my experience is valid. I even point to how I act and say to myself: see, you wouldn't have these sorts of reactions if you two "just didn't get along".
Along with cptsd I have a complex about not being believed. Wonder where that comes from. Lol.
Same. My brother was horrible to me. Way beyond a normal brother. My parents always felt bad for him though and told me to not take his behavior so seriously. Okay but maybe he shouldn't be slamming his sister's head into the wall regardless of how his life is going.
Sometimes I really hold onto and relish in how terrible I am feeling physically and mentally, when I am hyperventlating or crying.. or feeling really despaired. I have these fucked up thoughts like... see.. this is real, this really did hurt you... this is proof that something bad really did happen.
Dr. K. I can't thank you enough for the dedication you put in every video. This one in particular has immense value 😊
Only 40 minutes in and had to pause and let you know this video is beautiful. Thank you for your time and effort Dr. K.
I have cptsd and it ruined my life. I'm on antidepressants, tried tons of different ones, therapy. It's still very hard to be functional and social.
Same here. I was 28/29 before I recieved that diagnosis, 5 years later, I'm really starting to make some progress towards building the life that I want. Keep pushing. It'll be a very long road but there is hope and you're not alone!
recovery is a long journey. but if you’re living with ptsd you’ve already lived through hell and survived, so I know you can find your way to a better place.
I believe in you
Same, I got it through a former abusive boss and then jumping into a toxic job after quitting. Couple that with childhood trauma and depression still lingering from a breakup years ago and my life is basically in shambles right now. Have been slowly rebuilding my life over the years.
@@cvsistheft yeah "surviving" is the word that describes my life. I'm working on "thriving", but maybe this is as good as it gets.
Seeing a friend/family member die= PTSD, PTSD= ok we just won’t make any friends or get close to any family members ever again
My partner and I , we both have CPTSD, we watched this on our tv like a Saturday morning news show. I’ll be honest, it was a hard watch , but we’re getting that trauma pack when it drops and we are gonna stay the course. Much love to everyone who is here on their journey. We have a long road ahead, with many a dragons. Yet, take solace in the fact that you are not alone.
pls look into Hoffman process 1 week in your country, if you can afford it, but you will need to attend in different intakes, not allowed with your partner simultaneously
You explain this better than anyone I have ever listened to. I was diagnosed with CPTSD years ago and I have never really been able to clarify what I am doing day to day to reveal that vulnerability. Thank you so much.
I relate to so much of this and have been told I have CPTSD by a therapist I saw while in med school (thus I moved away for residency and can no longer see them). I’d really like to see a therapist well versed in this topic to help guide me through overcoming the ways I still feel so held back by my own nervous system, but my experience has been it’s rare for therapists to be adept in tackling the complexities that go along with healing from how you grew up. Might buy the guide, I just feel like working with someone in real time will feel like a missing piece, and also, I don’t know if spending all of that time watching content alone will really be good for me or will just lead to more sadness about always having had to power through things alone in life due to never really having a healthy, supportive family.
Cptsd patient here. With paranoia and borderline. Thank you so much for this easy to understand analyses . You have know idea the good you are doing, taking the time to explain our suffering. And trying to find a solution. Thank you
26:44 I wish people would talk about siblings abusing their younger siblings. For me, it was my older brother throughout my whole childhood being manipulative and physically abusive, not my parents.
Same for me all 4 of them for 11 years.
I understand how you feel as it was a friend who caused my chronic dissociation. You never hear anyone give any weight to the damage a toxic friendship can do in key developmental periods.
The best way to tie it together is to understand that your parents lay the foundations of the situation from how they attached with you as a child (and in your case chose to neglect to protect you from your sibling)
Then you have to choose to be your own advocate in your mind and not allowing yourself to deny your suffering at the hands of this other person. It doesn't matter if Dr K or anyone else has never covered sibling (or friend) abuse but YOU know what you went through and who caused it. You are the expert of your own experience. Anything that can be said about our experience with abusive or neglectful parents absolutely applies to any other person who caused us damage in our life, then the compounding factor is that your parent who was the person who SHOULD have protected you as a helpless person, did not.
I wish you all the best in healing these wounds and finding a pillar of strength within yourself.
Same with me. My elder sister done ruin my whole childhood and teen life, Even adulthood
@@RookAdmirerI want to cry very hard but I can't 🥺
Recap: CPTSD & its Impact: 1:18:22 "Sudden mood changes, going into a funk for no reason"
I'm just getting to the point where I don't do this, or if I do I can pull myself out of it quickly. Really wish this information had been around years ago, but I'm so grateful for what information I was able to get. The 90s was when a lot of this stuff started circulating in the general populace, don't know what I'd have done without it.
that opening track to the stream??????? never have I felt more motivated by a song than listening to that
You gotta check out “Clozee sunset downtempo set”. You’re gonna love it
Also Dr. K, I would love to see a video on your thoughts on IFS and psychedelics (potential benefits and risks) especially with the potential approval of MDMA by the FDA this fall. They both have substantially helped me in my journey but there’s a lot of information that isn’t empirically backed by clinical studies. Also going into potential tools like EMDR or bilateral stimulation techniques.
IFS and psychedelics have been such a huge help for me as well. I'm so happy to see someone mention this.
Heidi Priebe has really amazing videos dealing with trauma and cptsd
Thank you for what you do, Dr. K. The effort and passion is comendable, also being approachable and down to earth. As a psych student it's very inspiring and I really do aspire to help people like you do. Also had a blast interacting in chat, very cool community!
I am in the process of building that sens of identity and it is a very hard line to ride for me.
I have felt like I am worthless and deserve basically nothing for so long that now trying to stand up for myself makes me go overboard to defend myself extra hard.
I definitly need to work on having the right to be treated as a human without feeling entitled to it and getting super angry when I feel disrespected
Maaaaaan. Thank you so much for this information. I'm 27 and my whole life i been struggling with that! I been diagnosed with ADHD and Depression but never PTSD or CPTSD. Everything you say make so much sense to me. I can relate to every single word here. This is such a grate point of finally being able to fix it. It impossible to fix a problem when you don't even know what is your problem! This is WILD!
Dr. K, thank you so much for the work you do! Can't wait to see the trauma guide.
18:52 Ok, so this is actually a thing. Blast neuro-trauma, specifically the polytraumatic profile from IEDs and other extreme concussive blasts. There's a lot of subtle damage going on for service personnel (and civilians) like from extreme changes in air-pressure, regular old concussion, blunt and piercing trauma... And it's not only the brain which is damaged. MTBI (mild traumatic brain injury) is a major factor in PTSD in general, especially for military personnel.
Beginning meditation segment really appreciate this. Music and mix definitely an eye opener.
I got diagnosed with CPTSD (among other things) this month. Really nice timing that you upload a new video on this topic. So far it has been really validating and it makes a lot of sense.
I never thought I had it "bad enough" to have PTSD, let alone CPTSD. But hearing this made me realize that a lot of what I do, think, how I react, and what I perceive as "normal" is just from decades of learned response.
Living with C-PTSD the expresses through OCD. Patrick Teahan also has a great channel on RUclips for trauma informed care. He specializes in childhood trauma, I've found him a great resource.
It's amazing. For a weeks I've been suspecting having cPTSD (thanks to his other talks) and dr. K delivers right on time.
I’d love to come on and talk about my experience with military PTSD and how that connects with my childhood C-PTSD at some point If you were interested in that. I saw an interview you did with someone a few weeks ago and thought that was really great!
Thank you for this video. I have extremely severe complex ptsd. This helps understand things just a little bit further. I’ve been watching your chanel for a good while now and I recommend you to tons of people all the time. You have so many topics that just fascinate me and I more than enjoy the way you look at things and help us see them.
Normally I don’t bring this stuff up but I feel it’s kinda important cuz your educational and you really help a lot of people. But I can’t stand the sound of swallowing and it’s a severe part of my ptsd. I forget what the fobia or whatever it’s called but it’s a big plague in my life. Causes me to lose a lot of friends and family. Usually your videos don’t usually have those sounds in them. I don’t know if the mike placement was different but please. I want to keep watching these videos. My bad for my stupid complaint but please and thank you. You help me a lot and I hope this is isn’t too annoying of a comment.
I imagine some people, myself included, would benefit from you linking the articles that you're referring to numerous time throughout this and other videos. Appreciate all the hard work.
This is an incredibly helpful video :’) I didn’t know C-PTSD is experienced as a combination of a dysregulated nervous system, lack of identity, and trouble with relationships. My trauma is rooted in neglectful and controlling behaviors from my parents while growing up.
I remember when I found Pete Walkers book on cptsd years ago. It just described me and my experience.
Yeah, I read the Kindle sample out of curiosity but then bought it immediately. Never been diagnosed (never really tried, either) yet that book helped me more than anything else I've read.
Thank you so much for what you are doing ❤ your mission is just so beautiful and meaningful. And you helped me so muc 🥺 thank you
"The best way to make a healthy relationship is to be a healthy human being."
That's a hell of a lot easier said than done 😆
thanks Dr. K this has been helpful, my mother was recently diagnosed with cPTSD and the family has had a hard time in our relationships with her for many years. this kind of video helps bridge my understanding for managing this even if only a bit
CPTSD is the hardest illness I've ever had to deal with. It makes me doubt or downplay all my other health issues, confounds diagnosis, and makes life impossible.
This is so great. Actual information being taught, comprehensively and concisely, and entertaining to boot. You're the best
im glad this is being talked about more. so much of our society is built to be traumatic. A lot of us are walking around with cptsd because our parents are overwhelmed, burnt out, uneducated or told how to discipline kids harshly...and children dont trust their parents enough to talk about sexual abuse, or lack the support and care they need to thrive.
something needs to desperately change, our society is falling apart because so many children are harmed and then grow up to repeat the entire cycle.
I like your chamnel Dr. Been watching a your vids for a few months now and I've watched you talk with easy to chat with people and somewhat difficult people and I love the example you set for giving people space and letting people fully say what they need to say, while still managing to keep the discussion organized and calm. That really inspires me to do better. You're a very smart fella! 😎👍
CPTSD, Social Anxiety with Agoraphobia and burnout is what I was diagnosed with after 40 years of abuse - physical, mental and emotional. This is the best information I have ever heard about what it all means. Thank you so much for caring about all of us enough to do all this for us. None of it was from my parents, my first husband started the whole journey. I was 18 the first time I was hit and my life spiralled downwards from there…
I attended the trauma workshop and it was amazing to learn the science behind my condition. I've happy that that the HG team decided to make this available to even more people.
Where do I find this? Couldn't find it
I don't believe the content was ever made public. At least not to my knowledge. However what's presented here is absolutely fantastic in my opinion.
@@andreacunningham5696 ah ok, all good. Yeah I've done therapy but his stuff is so good. The idea of physically feeling emotions and connecting to your body was really great, as well as the planning for thf future studf
You made this video like, five days after the most traumatic experience I've ever had in my life. I'm just now learning of this. Thank you
Starting with the body can be super overwhelming for some folks with trauma especially trans folks and folks with sexual trauma, so just be aware of that if that's you. Potentially an IFS therapist could be really helpful for navigating that.
I appreciate your honesty about having to look things up sometimes. If every psychologist would be that honest, health system would be a whole lot better.
i only managed to get halfway through this episode as it was a lot for me to emotionally take in
i downloaded judith herman's book 'trauma and recovery', skimmed a few pages and haven't stopped crying since (it's been an hour)
my point is thank you dr.k for your work.
i've had so many therapists in my life and they are all unskilled regarding c-ptsd. i'm having to teach myself how to heal and content like yours is quite literally life saving.
again, thank you 🙏🙏🙏
The most comprehensive and easy-to-digest - and free - breakdown of what trauma is and how to deal with it. Words won't be enough to describe my gratitude - but thank you.
I have diagnosed cptsd and yes you can have enough of a self to fight back. It just flickers in and out. I've been abused my entire life by a malignant vulnerable presenting father and a covert vulnerable mother. My drive since 7 was getting free and safely escaping one day. My body got broken by being psychological sacrificed and getting multiple auto immune illnesses, cptsd, major depression, and severe anxiety that's dibilated me. I'm physically and financially unable to leave. Also...still being currently stuck in the same abusive situation I'm 36 now and been trying to heal and help since 7. So that means the exact same abuses are repeatedly being done to dehumanize me daily. It is the same causes, the same abusers, the same environment. It's not always a mystery and it's not always in the past. Sometimes you just can't escape from it no matter what you try and it becomes torture and that intensity and duration and isolation and lack of any actual healthy support play huge parts.
And yeah also....meditation isn't always best for severely traumatized people with cptsd. Mindfulness is effective and gentler. If you do decide to meditate try finding trauma informed kind. Moving around does help though. If you have chronic pain and bad flair ups though I'd say more gentler, purposeful movements and stretching help more. And definitely remember to breathe. Sometimes I know I forget to and it raises eye pressure and makes it harder to think.
I just wanted to say I see and hear you. You're totally right, of course. I'm so sorry you are stuck there and I fervently hope you find a foothold or bit of leverage that can help you get out and get better in whatever order that would have to happen in. ❤
Thank you. It's appreciated and hope you have a good day.
Glad I came across this video! You have a great way of explaining this and as a vet student I really appreciate the medical and scientific explanations :) Seems like I may have c-ptsd but I'm certainly going to talk to a professional about it. Think I got it from being forced into an inpatient mental health institution as a pre-teen ironically. Hopefully I can figure it out. I always wondered why I no longer have any awareness of my emotions, why I ruined relationships and why I've lost my sense of self. Thank you for an informative stream :)
OH MY F-ing god my Dr was right I didn't fully understand my condition but I now understand alot better than I did before and I seem to be a bit farther into recovery than I thought because I dove head on into rebuilding myself from the ground up. Still alot of work to do, but understanding a bit better will definitely be helpful on my journey.
Thank you so much, Dr. K. I just bought your guide. I was diagnosed with CPTSD four years ago and this video describes my experience better than anything else I’ve come across.
I really love that you see this as a real issue I’ve seen a few online influencers that are therapist/psychiatrist an say that Cptsd isn’t real or isn’t study enough an it’s just shocking to know we are truely getting light to this shit thank you
Hi Dr K.! I’ve started to watch your videos more and more
There a few moments where I feel so heard and finally a voice given to what I’ve been feeling my whole life.
Im so grateful for you and your team.
My ptsd seems impossible to go away bc my issue won’t go away, being exposed to an ongoing traumatic event doesn’t get easier ppl wait till im “okay” again to talk to me just to continue to harm me, I can’t handle another conversation w ppl trying to mess w my head, humiliate me, or provoke me, but I discovered my sense of self bc I no longer need their definition of me, they don’t even see me as human
The description of identity based issues and relationship issues really hit home. I wish that it was more clear when receiving treatment that this is apart of the PTSD though. I always viewed myself as being socially inept or having something wrong with me but it’s because of trauma and PTSD. I viewed myself as a failure for not knowing what I wanted to do with my life or what I even liked to do. I realize that it’s pretty difficult to know what you want when you don’t really know or understand yourself because you’ve never had the space to do that. I didn’t really start living life for myself until I left home and even then it took a while for me to learn how to do that.
This is one of the best most comprehensive explanations of CPTSD I’ve heard heard and I’m so grateful, I realised last year at 28 I must have CPTSD and it explains so much about my life
i suffer from CPTSD. I often feel scared that certain scenario's will repeat like they did in the past. I used to be so brave in life. I don't have much of self esteem left, and I just don't understand why doing nornal things is so hard for me. I remember who I was before. Strong, ambitious, athletic, a go getter, smart, hard working. This is so infuriating, I can't handle bullying or intense situations now. That healthy ego I once had, the drive, and hope for my future is fading.
I got my CPTSD diagnosis at 19 (currently 28). It explained everything. I thought I was just “weird” but once I realized, it was a lot easier for me to work on myself from that place of self compassion and understanding. I’ve made tremendous progress over the last decade. Picking not great partners has been my last biggest challenge but even that has gotten better. Great stream Dr K.
Thank you so much! This video has described my problems in great detail that 6 months of CBT didn't address(ie the problems are my thoughts). You've explained what happened to me and why I have certain problems like initiating relationships. I got sent to a boarding school as a child and I learned how not to meet my emotional needs, that no-one cared about me and that expressing my emotions led to bullying.
I was diagnosed CPTSD a few years ago, and even still it feels so isolating for it to be assumed like PTSD. I'm so relieved you have pointed out the distinction
Hi Dr K…im from the uk..a psychologist & psychiatrist have both aimed at me having C-PTSD with BPD..so hard to get diagnosed over here!!..a brilliant podcast..im going to re watch a few times..im understanding the need to look more into childhood crap & work more on my bad behaviour within relationships..my kids, I didn’t want them to go through what I did..yet I have..I feel rubbish when I think of everything iv done..and them things I need to write & work on
This is pretty much me. My therapist is walking me through the roadmap. I had to disassociate a lot when I was very young.
Trauma guide looks amazing, thank you Dr.K and the HG team
I'm C-PTSD diagnosed. The fun thing about PTSD is you can just keep tagging on new traumas if you never learn how to cope. Ive seen like 10 therapists and 5 psychiatrists over the past 7 years and only one therapist has been helpful, and she had a C-PTSD diagnosis herself and was why she got into therapy. I moved states and couldnt see her anymore but haven't found a comparable therapist yet
Is there any chance that you could do online therapy with your former therapist?
@@ulhi7564 so it's out of state and I'm on state insurance that doesn't cover it if it's not in state, but I'm trying a new therapist that was recommended to me soon :) it's hard but I feel like there's nothing to do but keep trying
yeah, you can ask for online sessions. I feel like since you've already worked with her, you'll be able to avoid the usual problem of establishing a connection
Best youtube channel i've found in a long time.
Thank you thank you so much!!! For making this information available to everyone, this generation wants to be better, to do better. ❤
01:17:30 - Strong sense of Self
_(dig into that : roles, what process do you aim at / "I want to be....that type of person", "I want to own...that role")_
The issues in not having a strong identity.
“its a pity i dont shoot heroine, because thats one hell of a vein” 😂😂😂 1:26:20
Just when things are going well, somebody comes along and triggers my PTSD again and I spend months trying to recover from depression and self doubt. When will this hell ever end. And yes, I’ve gone for help but nobody seems to be able to help me or wants to, too old to be helped I suspect.
Thank you so much for this level of detail. I think it's really going to help me hone in on what I need to work on.
Sibling abuse is a way more common cause of cptsd than acknowledged. Many right now talk about the impact of bullying but somehow siblings bullying you is normal.
1:09:41 fear responses and other negative emotions helped me survive. Anxiety helped me do chores well and complete assignments in time. Love and positive emotions feel almost painful because, so often, experience of those emotions was followed by deep disappointment or situations which taught me to doubt the authenticity or persistence of those positive experiences.
I have CPTSD and it SUCKS! Today I thought I was dying and had to call my doctor on the phone crying to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. I had no awareness that I was having a panic attack until the doctor told me on the phone and I have had panic attacks for years. It's incredibility disorientating. When Dr. K spoke about not recognizing emotions I completely resonated with that!