"Be careful when you praise your kid for something external because they will identify with that as being the way to get worth and you screw them up for life and they can't disentangle from that."
Not to identify with exterior attributes even if they're positive 🙌 THIS IS SO TRUE AND A GAME CHANGER 💯 THANK YOU for this enlightening interview 🙏 #badasswomen #beabitch
I went through the same thing being raise Catholic and becoming pregnant at 21 not married. I was literally set free by my parental control once I became pregnant and released me to man. I was in no way ready for motherhood. I went through a psychological break down. Right after birth to postpartum depression. Than bipolar disorder than anger management. Until I seen myself taking 8 pills and controlling everything. I had to release
My mother has tried in every way to make me feel that I'm not 'whole' for not wanting to have a family and chasing a man for marriage. However, she did all these things and was miserable - I saw that as a child. I travel the world, run my own business, and was recently featured in Forbes. I feel a high level of happiness every day, and I am free. Part of me actually believes she's a little jealous ; )
True, my parents didn't raise me to be a wife so to speak, so I cared little about what men liked and didn't see marriage and kids as a prize. I had my dog and an adventurous life. I decided to try dating at 35 married at 37, had a baby at 38 and life is different, marriage means even more work on yourself in order to adapt to to someone else. My son is my universe but there are still more adventures to be had!
"This whole idea of falling in love is really lunacy. You shouldn't fall. I always say don't fall. Please just be on your feet & be solid in your center." 🙌🤯💯
Can we speculate though? Any item you see in front of you. Why was it made/ for what purpose? What about it's design facilitates this purpose? What else can this item be used for besides it's original intent? Now think of a woman. Birthing a child is part of our intended purpose, hence our design. Women who share this view with Lisa is as was said, free to decide as the case may be , but consider this: Based on a response such a Lisa's, it implies that... What would my Wednesday look like as a mother so to speak is a lesser experience that without this child. There's this overview that the child is going to take away from life. Yes we may develop motherly attributes but it doesn't not make us a mother in the truest and deepest essence of motherhood. Let's be real about that fact. Many women can testify, becoming a biological mother produced certain changes and activates faculties that can even be viewed as something of an enhancement. This experience can be integrated with everything else we believe we are called to do. Lisa can still be an amazing woman and even tap into unattained facilities of herself by being a mother. In this community, we are encouraged to think widely. We should never for a moment think that being a mother is somehow going to be a setback, it could well be a catalyst for the joy and fulfillment we so long for. So I'm just sharing this so women don't go and run with that opinion. I personally am not excited to be a mother, I don't get worked up over babies even. But I recognize my composition and I'm open to using as many of my faculties as I've been made to use and tapping into the fullness of my womanhood. Why would that even be a question for anyone? Looking forward to any feedback.
Anna, well there is a thing called morality which is more important than what the individual wants. Can you provide for a baby, be present mentally, physically able to birth and take care of another being, what is the impact on an already grossly overpopulated planet?
Lisa, you are such a great interviewer ... you actually allow your guest to speak - you don't interrupt. You dont speak over them, you don't interject with your own opinions and beliefs and overtake the conversation - you add to the conversation, you don't overtake. thank you
Lisa, I hope you know the importance of your show for us, women who've been through a lot of shit. Every episode is better than any therapy session I've ever had
ABAH BENIWAL I totally agree with you about Lisa and she seems to be very gentle and genuine too! I'm aware that she's extremely strong as well though. 😊
You can have a conditional relationship with unconditional love. I love my husband unconditionally but I have conditions if he wants to share my space, energy and body. 💁♀️ I can love him and not be in a relationship with him.
This episode has resulted in a changed life / a paradigm shift in me in the direction I was seeking. Lisa you inspire me , I'm so greatful for your strength. Not that you need this, but rather confirming what you and she said in this episode- Consider me as one of those people feeling mothered by you in a way my own mother couldn't show up 😌 🙏 🤗
Yes 🙌 I think of it as Earth Mamas and Papas ! We can mother the Earth and collectively shift culture and help millions OR put all your energy into one or two children. BOTH are important and valid! It’s just micro or macro! !❤️🌎☀️
I loved this whole episode. I'm definitely going to read the book. I've been fighting "being nice" for a while now. I remember how many times I let someone run right over my boundaries because I needed to be perceived as "nice".
I totally understand this feeling, the disease to please. We want to be like at the expense or detriment to who we are. It's never easy, but setting healthy boundaries and maintaining them can be a great start to let go of the need to be "nice". You got this girl.
I watched this video with tears in my eyes. For eighteen years I felt like a bad mom for not being the cookie baking over achiever. I felt like I didn't deserve my daughter's love. She is now the strongest, most independent woman I know. And even though I am a single parent, I still felt like I didn't deserve the credit for raising her! And I always felt, up to the point of watching this video, that I make an awful wife and that's why my relationships never lasted, because I am not the conventional partner. I don't cook and I am messy. Thank you for being the first step towards accepting who I am.
Yes, you can't "fall in love" because love is a decision. A decision to love a person you believe is best for you and allow them to grow and change as you grow and change and you stay committed to the relationship to share life together. Knowing the unconditional love of God helps to even know what that looks like.
As soon as I gave birth, I became a "mom" to everyone. Doctors, teachers, neighbors... Nobody calls you by your name anymore - you're just "mom Name" or "mom Last name". This is so frustrating and humiliating. I don't identify with being a mom. I am so much more than that. But it seems like it doesn't bother other people.
After the Children grew up, I became Tucker s Mom... Tucker Dog. My Decedent husband's Medical Assistance Dog...they as a group called me Mother Of TUCKER. He got all the attention, and I was just his handler...especially when addressed by men.
That's why I like everyone to call me by my name. And if I would have had children, mom Marleen or Marleen mom when they grow older, when moms are not their only reference anymore, or not their reference at all.
@@MegaMARLEEN1 Exactly. But here in my country nobody cares what you (or I) want 😁 My daughter's teacher keeps addressing me as "Dear mom Marijana" (you probably wouldn't say it like that in English, but I don't know the equivalent translation). I keep responding with: "Dear Mrs. Xy", very officially, with "sincerely" and all that. But, nope, I'm still a mommy to her, obviously.
When I started watching I was a little skeptical about what was being said but more I watched and the more I get it … it’s bout listening to your own voice over everyone else . The most impactful part was the permission and “f the breakfast “
I just discovered this video and I love it. I am 51 year old single mom struggling to with body images, getting back out in the dating world, and trying to be the perfect parent. I felt like Dr. Shefali was speaking to me and made me see the misery I have been putting myself through.
Lisa is adorable ... and strong ... "save the house- help the husband" 💪🏻 Tom is a stand- up guy. I've known men who have left women\wives who they could not have kids with. Seriously devastating to those women they left behind. I've had ridiculous men tell me I "look like nobody's mother" ...wtf?? They are correct. Instead I still look young and fresh even in my 50's. I hear men talk about women losing sexual, market value at age 34 🤣 People assume I'm in my 30's but after they ask me my age ... if they are Men they often say insulting and envious things. Like "what's wrong with you why aren't you married?" I've been called selfish because I chose a beautiful adventurous life and an amazing career instead of having kids. Its exciting that these things are being talked about. Way to go Lisa✊🏻
Thank you so much for this!! I came from a very religious, conservative background where all the girls I grew up were married with their first kid by age 19. I'm 25 now, my partner and I are unmarried, we're working on our career and have zero children. It is the life we chose for ourselves and we're so happy!!
I might want one child or none. My mom thinks it’s selfish not to have kids. She’s told me if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be here. Exactly! I wouldn’t be here so I wouldn’t have an opinion or anything.
After having kids, you will NEVER love anybody that much that you love your kids. This is a primal intinct of any living mother on earh (human/animal). Don't deprive youself by choosing not have any kids. You will be exhausted, you will give up your 'me' time but there is also big reward. I often cry from happines and love when I see my kids healthy, happy and sound. You can't buy that, you can't trade that.
@@baassiia It’s beautiful that you love your kids and the journey of mother/parenthood. But it’s important for you to realise that all women do not want to have children. And as they mentioned in the video, not all women who are capable, should have them. Not all women have a maternal instinct or a desire to nurture a child of their own. It’s important that you don’t project your experiences with motherhood on to other women. Enjoy it. Connect with other people who also enjoy it. And understand that your wants and joys are not going to be reflected in everyone else. That ‘instinct’ is not an instinct for all women. And that’s perfectly okay.
It isn’t selfish at all. It’s selfish of her to guilt you into something you haven’t even made up your own mind about. The ‘burden’ and it will be a burden if you have them and don’t want them, will be yours to shoulder if you have them for other people. It’s a lifelong commitment that shouldn’t be undertaken lightly or because of other people’s (people who cannot live your life for you. And won’t be raising these hypothetical kids for you) opinions. Her choices (or lack thereof since I do not know her circumstances) were hers to make. Having a child simply because she had you, is just nonsensical. Take your time and figure out what you want for yourself and the direction of your life. You want children? Cool. You don’t? Cool. But the decision must be yours and right for you. Others cannot, or should I say, should not, decide that for you. Direct your own life. You’ve got this. Wishing you the best.
Thank you for being so authentic and open about not having children, Lisa! I love how you have had the guts to choose what you want and not what culture expect of you. You are a great role model for other women.
I feel I miss girlfriend time and gatherings during covid. And I’m gravitating to these talks. It gives me sisterly talks I crave and so so need. Thank you so much! 👏💕
I’m a mother of sons. But I love your shows for myself and my boys. I wish our youth could grow up with some of these fundamental understandings. As a teacher, I see the anxiety my students go through.
Wow true self and handling people who hurt the false self is amazing, esp as going through hard time with an elderly mother in law, brilliant ways of thinking for women
"...what is this rubbish flawless skin!? You know nobody has flawless skin..." ~ Dr. Shefali, wiser words have never been said. Society has played such a huge part on the stereotypical image of "beauty" and if we don't fit into it we destroy ourselves mentally and emotionally over it, physically too. Beauty is purely subjective, never let society or anyone's definition of beauty bring down our self-worth. It is also 100% relative! Beauty if diversity, diversity is beauty. That's the way I see it and try to always remind myself of as well as others. Thank you Dr. Shefali and Lisa! Much love, peace and good health to all
This video has given me so much confidence and has taken away so many of my own worries! I wanted to bring up to the person who I am dating, a list of conditions, things that I am happy to give or can and will do, and that I also what I need in partnership. It felt cold. Clinical but made sense, I avoided it as it didn't feel like love or how society would deem it. This has changed the game! Thank you to my Women crush Wednesday on the daily Lisa B! 🥰
Daily juicing is what finally cleared up my skin. I drink juice all morning, have a salad for lunch, and another green juice in the evening and that was the road to success. Drugs prescribed by doctors had terrible side effects and inconsistent results. None of my doctors ever recommended juicing as a solution. Regular juicing significantly improved my overall health.
🤩 I'm currently doing a juice fast and im seeing so many results like weight loss, better skin, lost craving etc once I eat food again I'll choose to eat like ur meal plan... juicing is key ❤
Dr. Shefali, I wish you could say something in Hindi and give a lecture for mother in laws! That would be profound for so many Indian women in America who don’t necessarily understand technical English verbiage! This is so necessary for women to hear!!!!!!!
I Love Dr Shefali , the first time I heard her she jumped out of the screen ..I ordered he book straight away and it changed my life through looking at thing differently ..you two get on so well and I can see why .
I’ve got 3 kids. From experience, it’s not something I’d recommend. My first relationship fell apart after 2 kids. I gave it another shot with another man, had one more child, he left me out of the blue and financially in the shit, so now I was a single mother to 3 kids. Last year my teenagers moved to America to live with their dad and I do 50/50 with my 4 year old. Going from a family of 5 - husband and 3 kids to being by myself, looking after myself, and only having to financially provide for myself (mainly) has been the silver lining in a very dark cloud. I bought my own flat, quit my job, started yoga and a law degree. Dare I say it I’m happier without the school run, endless loads of washing, cooking , cleaning, shouting, gardening, husband pleasing, whilst working full time. I’m happier and I’m sorry but kids and a family is hard, and it’s even worse when the sacrifices weren’t appreciated and your husband walks out on you with no reason anyway.
Amazing! I find that the culture I grew up in (East Indian) is especially hard on women with expectations and beliefs. Thank you for this brilliant video which, in my opinion, is a must watch for every woman ❤️❤️❤️
I love this. I grew up with a lot of judgement related to looks, weight and worthiness. I was a small girl and my sister was tall and bigger. This was brought to both our attention all the time. My father commented on women’s looks and looked at playboy in the family room all the time
This is first time watching Lisa’s show, although I have heard about her a lot fy Yin’s shows. I turn this one on because of Dr. Shefali is being interviewed. What a gem! Lisa you are! I love your style, do authentic, do real. You are the perfect person to interview the incredible Dr. Shefali. Love the interview!
I could keep eating Dr. Shefali's words and ideas. I love her books and her interviews! She's so radical and clearheaded. Thanks for arranging this insightful interview, Lisa! 🌸🌸🌸
Lisa....I so love this.I am so that *itch.Lol.I grew into being comfortable in my own skin.Lisa,I would be in horrors on times past to have someone see my without makeup and store bought hair.So much growth has come to me.This interview resonates so greatly with me.Some of the names I was known by in times past were "nice one", "miss goody two shoes" and "little miss can't do wrong".Lisa!Great interview.
This is an amazing interview. Who controls culture? A woman made a statement, "By saying "you guys," reinstates that men rule." Those who believe they rule, and those who reinforce that belief, control everything.
On people praising external things about you - if you are a parent/caregiver, make sure that when you praise even the internal things about your child, that you are not doing so in a way that exploits those good things. Like, don't look at someone's drawing and say "you will be rich someday for that." That's turning it into a shallow and external thing. It's pushing them to monetize something that maybe they want only to do for themselves. Instead, say something like "I love how much color you use here," or "I can tell you worked very hard on this. You must be proud." Don't decide their future for them based on their talents. Let them drive their own future and interests. Support them by being intrigued in not just how "good" they are at something, but the unique way in which they pursue their interests and the ways in which they put effort into things that matter to them.
I had to replay that part about motherhood, that part resonated with me. In my culture, if you are my age 33 and no kids, people start to wonder if you are barren, or everyone is quick to tell you that your biological clock is ticking.
I screamed Hallelujah when I heard "let's talk about being a mother and not identifying as being a mother". I thought I'm a monster. I considered myself a caring and adoring mentor for my sons. I always struggled with the feeling, definition and expectation of a mother. I thought I am not maternal. Had no issues that they are my children, but if someone would have asked "are you their mother" my visceral response would have been "No!"
I never felt pressured to get married or have kids, even though, i've done both; i just wanted to work, so i'm going back to school, so i can live my dream
It's is liberating, empowering..like a deep exhale.. to find this woman. We have the same ideas. I feel seen in a world of blind people. Live in that Goddess/Queen energy!!!
Oh wow...Just loved the way she puts across the concept of Yin and Yang in such a clear dissected way... Thank you Lisa for bringing Dr.Shefali on board. Love to hear her talk
Recently I kept thinking of how someone attempted to shame me for my age years ago. They said something like “You can’t work at Hooters as a waitress now because you’re now too old!” I was in my mid 30’s at that time when I was told that. At that moment I was shocked that the person telling me those words was a man who is actually 6 months older than me. Aging is part of the biology of the human anatomy and there are so many factors that contribute to our appearance: DNA, lifestyle, circumstances, personal choices, etc. Why does looking like a 20 year old forever is even logical? Can you imagine being 50 years old but still holding on to look like a 20 year old?
I just wanted to say thanks for sharing these video's with us! I luv watching them, u are an amazing woman & ur guest's are too! Wishing u manny blessings & abundance. ..
I love love LOVE Dr. Shifali😍 She is the epitome of grace and beauty, and I love her talks on parenting, the way she discusses how parents don't own their children, they need to respect them as a separate person. And the part about embracing the "bitch" part of ourselves and being real instead of "nice"..TRUTH 💯🙌 Edit: Dr. Shefali (sp)
Definitely one of the best video I have ever seen in this channel, I looking forward reading this book, thanks Lisa and congrats for your worthwhile Chanel and all amazing woman we know trough you
The standard of beauty in different cultures is SO TRUE!!! OMG !!! It's absolutely hell and torture. I was born in Poland but raised in America and I definitely suffer with body image. Also it's so true about what we hear so its so important what we say to kids bc we become their inner voice!! That can not to said loud enough!!! People say oh your chunky, oh your this or that and that really stays with kids all the way thru adulthood!! It's so crucial to remember that. Even if you down a kid saying they can't achieve a certain educational goal, artistic goal, and etc it's so important to emphasize this to adults keep in mind what you say, it matters! Okay end of rant lol.
![Megan Thee Stallion - Bigger In Texas [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QxTkZTLWdo4/mqdefault.jpg)
What piece of advice from Dr. Shefali resonated with you?
"Be careful when you praise your kid for something external because they will identify with that as being the way to get worth and you screw them up for life and they can't disentangle from that."
"You're falling in love with a idea, which is emptiness."
Not to identify with exterior attributes even if they're positive 🙌 THIS IS SO TRUE AND A GAME CHANGER 💯 THANK YOU for this enlightening interview 🙏 #badasswomen #beabitch
Your true essence/self is not destructible.
I went through the same thing being raise Catholic and becoming pregnant at 21 not married. I was literally set free by my parental control once I became pregnant and released me to man. I was in no way ready for motherhood. I went through a psychological break down. Right after birth to postpartum depression. Than bipolar disorder than anger management. Until I seen myself taking 8 pills and controlling everything. I had to release
My mother has tried in every way to make me feel that I'm not 'whole' for not wanting to have a family and chasing a man for marriage. However, she did all these things and was miserable - I saw that as a child. I travel the world, run my own business, and was recently featured in Forbes. I feel a high level of happiness every day, and I am free. Part of me actually believes she's a little jealous ; )
You are probably right but she was most likely fed the same and hasn't the tools to appreciate you and your self fulfillment
@@denasharpe2393 that’s an extremely valid and fair point! Our parents didn’t have the tools that we do… most of them were just on survival mode…
@@lovher Some were in profit mode, while the culture of the 50'S and the Doris Day movies were programming them.
I
Ok
True, my parents didn't raise me to be a wife so to speak, so I cared little about what men liked and didn't see marriage and kids as a prize. I had my dog and an adventurous life. I decided to try dating at 35 married at 37, had a baby at 38 and life is different, marriage means even more work on yourself in order to adapt to to someone else. My son is my universe but there are still more adventures to be had!
"This whole idea of falling in love is really lunacy. You shouldn't fall. I always say don't fall. Please just be on your feet & be solid in your center." 🙌🤯💯
Just because you're able to give birth it doesn't mean you should be a mother.
Absolutely loved this conversation!!
Thanks so much!!! Yeh that really hit me too!
@@lisabilyeu8103 And me - great show -thank you
Can we speculate though? Any item you see in front of you. Why was it made/ for what purpose? What about it's design facilitates this purpose? What else can this item be used for besides it's original intent?
Now think of a woman. Birthing a child is part of our intended purpose, hence our design.
Women who share this view with Lisa is as was said, free to decide as the case may be , but consider this:
Based on a response such a Lisa's, it implies that... What would my Wednesday look like as a mother so to speak is a lesser experience that without this child. There's this overview that the child is going to take away from life. Yes we may develop motherly attributes but it doesn't not make us a mother in the truest and deepest essence of motherhood. Let's be real about that fact.
Many women can testify, becoming a biological mother produced certain changes and activates faculties that can even be viewed as something of an enhancement. This experience can be integrated with everything else we believe we are called to do.
Lisa can still be an amazing woman and even tap into unattained facilities of herself by being a mother.
In this community, we are encouraged to think widely. We should never for a moment think that being a mother is somehow going to be a setback, it could well be a catalyst for the joy and fulfillment we so long for.
So I'm just sharing this so women don't go and run with that opinion. I personally am not excited to be a mother, I don't get worked up over babies even. But I recognize my composition and I'm open to using as many of my faculties as I've been made to use and tapping into the fullness of my womanhood. Why would that even be a question for anyone?
Looking forward to any feedback.
Anna, well there is a thing called morality which is more important than what the individual wants. Can you provide for a baby, be present mentally, physically able to birth and take care of another being, what is the impact on an already grossly overpopulated planet?
@@annathomas8569
I agree with you I commented up in different way but with same thought
Lisa, you are such a great interviewer ... you actually allow your guest to speak - you don't interrupt. You dont speak over them, you don't interject with your own opinions and beliefs and overtake the conversation - you add to the conversation, you don't overtake. thank you
Yes I completely agree! You are very professional! Thanks very much!
Lisa, I hope you know the importance of your show for us, women who've been through a lot of shit. Every episode is better than any therapy session I've ever had
I love Lisa's expressions in every video how she feels and understands and many a times asks questions like a curious excited sweet child.
Omg lol that’s actually EXACTLY how I feel!!! ☺️🤗
@@lisabilyeu8103 hahahahha love watching you with other amazing people 😘😘 lots of love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗
I have Only one child , because I am selfish beach and dare to want to have interests for myself.
I love that too!!
ABAH BENIWAL I totally agree with you about Lisa and she seems to be very gentle and genuine too! I'm aware that she's extremely strong as well though. 😊
I'm most grateful my parents were independent, married old and grew me up in a mature and experienced way🤗
There is no such thing as "Unconditional Love" It is so true. The perception that we have to be blind to faults and boundaries is just wrong!
yeup.
Unconditional love (for humanity) but NOT unconditional relationship ! 💖💜
Yes, we all need to have boundaries :)
Unconditional love have hurt me in unimaginable way. Now I set up boundaries before I chose to accept someone or love someone.
You can have a conditional relationship with unconditional love. I love my husband unconditionally but I have conditions if he wants to share my space, energy and body. 💁♀️ I can love him and not be in a relationship with him.
"Two humans seeking deeper connection and intimacy but that doesn't mean possession... True love is freedom"❤
The intro always HOOKS me. I love how you uplift other women Lisa.
❤️
same ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Grace Chase I totally agree with you! 😊
Dr Sheifali is the woman of today. We need more women like her. Thank you so much. So much love and blessings to you.
+1_9_1_2_4_9_3_4_3_6_0
This episode has resulted in a changed life / a paradigm shift in me in the direction I was seeking. Lisa you inspire me , I'm so greatful for your strength. Not that you need this, but rather confirming what you and she said in this episode- Consider me as one of those people feeling mothered by you in a way my own mother couldn't show up 😌 🙏 🤗
Yes 🙌 I think of it as Earth Mamas and Papas ! We can mother the Earth and collectively shift culture and help millions OR put all your energy into one or two children. BOTH are important and valid! It’s just micro or macro!
!❤️🌎☀️
I loved this whole episode. I'm definitely going to read the book. I've been fighting "being nice" for a while now. I remember how many times I let someone run right over my boundaries because I needed to be perceived as "nice".
I totally understand this feeling, the disease to please. We want to be like at the expense or detriment to who we are. It's never easy, but setting healthy boundaries and maintaining them can be a great start to let go of the need to be "nice". You got this girl.
@@CianTAllen I really resonated with the phrase "disease to please". Thank you for the support. I am so happy to have a community like this.
@@TiffanyHallmark you're welcome, that what's community is supposed to do for each other, support each person. Continue to thrive.
I have read one of her books and love it!
I watched this video with tears in my eyes. For eighteen years I felt like a bad mom for not being the cookie baking over achiever. I felt like I didn't deserve my daughter's love. She is now the strongest, most independent woman I know. And even though I am a single parent, I still felt like I didn't deserve the credit for raising her!
And I always felt, up to the point of watching this video, that I make an awful wife and that's why my relationships never lasted, because I am not the conventional partner. I don't cook and I am messy. Thank you for being the first step towards accepting who I am.
Yes, you can't "fall in love" because love is a decision. A decision to love a person you believe is best for you and allow them to grow and change as you grow and change and you stay committed to the relationship to share life together. Knowing the unconditional love of God helps to even know what that looks like.
Love seeing these myths getting debunked! We get so caught up in what society portrays as right and wrong, we miss what's actually right for us.
As soon as I gave birth, I became a "mom" to everyone. Doctors, teachers, neighbors... Nobody calls you by your name anymore - you're just "mom Name" or "mom Last name". This is so frustrating and humiliating. I don't identify with being a mom. I am so much more than that.
But it seems like it doesn't bother other people.
After the Children grew up, I became Tucker s Mom... Tucker Dog. My Decedent husband's Medical Assistance Dog...they as a group called me Mother Of TUCKER. He got all the attention, and I was just his handler...especially when addressed by men.
That's why I like everyone to call me by my name.
And if I would have had children, mom Marleen or Marleen mom when they grow older, when moms are not their only reference anymore, or not their reference at all.
@@MegaMARLEEN1 Exactly. But here in my country nobody cares what you (or I) want 😁
My daughter's teacher keeps addressing me as "Dear mom Marijana" (you probably wouldn't say it like that in English, but I don't know the equivalent translation). I keep responding with: "Dear Mrs. Xy", very officially, with "sincerely" and all that. But, nope, I'm still a mommy to her, obviously.
Why refusing being called "mom" but excepting taking your husband
Family name???????? At least your child carries half of your DNA
@@tusmoaadil1825 Who says I have a husband or his last name?
It seems you have some issues with the topic. Don't leave your baggage on me. Thank you.
When I started watching I was a little skeptical about what was being said but more I watched and the more I get it … it’s bout listening to your own voice over everyone else . The most impactful part was the permission and “f the breakfast “
Thanks so much for this!! So glad you have it a shot and found it impactful!!
Oh I love that feeling! Feeling skeptical about something and then that feeling of opening to some new possibilities...amazing 😃👌
I just discovered this video and I love it. I am 51 year old single mom struggling to with body images, getting back out in the dating world, and trying to be the perfect parent. I felt like Dr. Shefali was speaking to me and made me see the misery I have been putting myself through.
Lisa is adorable ... and strong ... "save the house- help the husband" 💪🏻
Tom is a stand- up guy. I've known men who have left women\wives who they could not have kids with. Seriously devastating to those women they left behind.
I've had ridiculous men tell me I "look like nobody's mother" ...wtf??
They are correct. Instead I still look young and fresh even in my 50's. I hear men talk about women losing sexual, market value at age 34 🤣
People assume I'm in my 30's but after they ask me my age ... if they are Men they often say insulting and envious things. Like "what's wrong with you why aren't you married?"
I've been called selfish because I chose a beautiful adventurous life and an amazing career instead of having kids.
Its exciting that these things are being talked about. Way to go Lisa✊🏻
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About time!!
I'm not here often to reply and talk with you, add me on Google Hangout, austinzhang032@gmail.com
I'll keep in touch over there....
You can tell by your picture that you are LGBT so obviously none of this would apply to you.
This sounds like regurgitated lesbian propaganda literally
"Your true essence is indestructible...it's unrejectable." I feel that now. Thank you, Dr. Shefali.
Thank you so much for this!! I came from a very religious, conservative background where all the girls I grew up were married with their first kid by age 19. I'm 25 now, my partner and I are unmarried, we're working on our career and have zero children. It is the life we chose for ourselves and we're so happy!!
Amazing women! This channel really changes lifes for the better. ❤
Thanks so much sweetie! We pour our heart and soul into it so this means so much to me!
I might want one child or none. My mom thinks it’s selfish not to have kids. She’s told me if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be here. Exactly! I wouldn’t be here so I wouldn’t have an opinion or anything.
Impact your financial life. Earn massively from cryptocurrency. Write me on Whatsapp for guidance..
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After having kids, you will NEVER love anybody that much that you love your kids. This is a primal intinct of any living mother on earh (human/animal).
Don't deprive youself by choosing not have any kids.
You will be exhausted, you will give up your 'me' time but there is also big reward. I often cry from happines and love when I see my kids healthy, happy and sound. You can't buy that, you can't trade that.
@@baassiia It’s beautiful that you love your kids and the journey of mother/parenthood. But it’s important for you to realise that all women do not want to have children. And as they mentioned in the video, not all women who are capable, should have them. Not all women have a maternal instinct or a desire to nurture a child of their own. It’s important that you don’t project your experiences with motherhood on to other women. Enjoy it. Connect with other people who also enjoy it. And understand that your wants and joys are not going to be reflected in everyone else. That ‘instinct’ is not an instinct for all women. And that’s perfectly okay.
It isn’t selfish at all. It’s selfish of her to guilt you into something you haven’t even made up your own mind about. The ‘burden’ and it will be a burden if you have them and don’t want them, will be yours to shoulder if you have them for other people. It’s a lifelong commitment that shouldn’t be undertaken lightly or because of other people’s (people who cannot live your life for you. And won’t be raising these hypothetical kids for you) opinions. Her choices (or lack thereof since I do not know her circumstances) were hers to make. Having a child simply because she had you, is just nonsensical. Take your time and figure out what you want for yourself and the direction of your life. You want children? Cool. You don’t? Cool. But the decision must be yours and right for you. Others cannot, or should I say, should not, decide that for you. Direct your own life. You’ve got this. Wishing you the best.
Every woman needs to see this video. So good!
Breaking free from the need to be nice and avoid being judged is indeed been a hard shell to crack. Thanks for sharing powerful insights ❤️
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Thank you for being so authentic and open about not having children, Lisa! I love how you have had the guts to choose what you want and not what culture expect of you. You are a great role model for other women.
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@@pinned2468 This reply mystified me 😉.
We have to do our own inner work to have a healthy relationship! Yes! 100% agree.
I could not have come across this video at a better time. Thank you ladies.
I feel I miss girlfriend time and gatherings during covid. And I’m gravitating to these talks. It gives me sisterly talks I crave and so so need. Thank you so much! 👏💕
I’m a mother of sons. But I love your shows for myself and my boys. I wish our youth could grow up with some of these fundamental understandings. As a teacher, I see the anxiety my students go through.
Wow true self and handling people who hurt the false self is amazing, esp as going through hard time with an elderly mother in law, brilliant ways of thinking for women
"...what is this rubbish flawless skin!? You know nobody has flawless skin..." ~ Dr. Shefali, wiser words have never been said. Society has played such a huge part on the stereotypical image of "beauty" and if we don't fit into it we destroy ourselves mentally and emotionally over it, physically too. Beauty is purely subjective, never let society or anyone's definition of beauty bring down our self-worth. It is also 100% relative! Beauty if diversity, diversity is beauty. That's the way I see it and try to always remind myself of as well as others.
Thank you Dr. Shefali and Lisa! Much love, peace and good health to all
I am in some self-help journey and ur show has been so helpful. What brilliant guests and brilliant questions you have!
My real self is never offended, only my ego watching for other’s people acceptance is. Thank youuuu
This video has given me so much confidence and has taken away so many of my own worries!
I wanted to bring up to the person who I am dating, a list of conditions, things that I am happy to give or can and will do, and that I also what I need in partnership.
It felt cold.
Clinical but made sense, I avoided it as it didn't feel like love or how society would deem it.
This has changed the game! Thank you to my Women crush Wednesday on the daily Lisa B! 🥰
This video deserves more views! This whole channel is absolute gold
What a great episode 👍 I have noticed that the older I get the more authentic I want to be. For me, not for others.
There are wonderful benefits of aging. At 60 I have no desire to go back to a younger age/time. Onward!
Daily juicing is what finally cleared up my skin. I drink juice all morning, have a salad for lunch, and another green juice in the evening and that was the road to success. Drugs prescribed by doctors had terrible side effects and inconsistent results. None of my doctors ever recommended juicing as a solution. Regular juicing significantly improved my overall health.
🤩 I'm currently doing a juice fast and im seeing so many results like weight loss, better skin, lost craving etc once I eat food again I'll choose to eat like ur meal plan... juicing is key ❤
This video saved my life. I am thankful for the light you shine 🙏🏽
Dr. Shefali, I wish you could say something in Hindi and give a lecture for mother in laws! That would be profound for so many Indian women in America who don’t necessarily understand technical English verbiage! This is so necessary for women to hear!!!!!!!
Thank you Lisa for helping us all be better people and stronger!! 💪 🙌🙏
Got it on audible. Thank you Dr.Shifali and Lisa for this interview!
I Love Dr Shefali , the first time I heard her she jumped out of the screen ..I ordered he book straight away and it changed my life through looking at thing differently ..you two get on so well and I can see why .
I’ve got 3 kids.
From experience, it’s not something I’d recommend. My first relationship fell apart after 2 kids. I gave it another shot with another man, had one more child, he left me out of the blue and financially in the shit, so now I was a single mother to 3 kids.
Last year my teenagers moved to America to live with their dad and I do 50/50 with my 4 year old. Going from a family of 5 - husband and 3 kids to being by myself, looking after myself, and only having to financially provide for myself (mainly) has been the silver lining in a very dark cloud.
I bought my own flat, quit my job, started yoga and a law degree. Dare I say it I’m happier without the school run, endless loads of washing, cooking , cleaning, shouting, gardening, husband pleasing, whilst working full time. I’m happier and I’m sorry but kids and a family is hard, and it’s even worse when the sacrifices weren’t appreciated and your husband walks out on you with no reason anyway.
To be worthy, just be yourself. That's beauty.
Amazing! I find that the culture I grew up in (East Indian) is especially hard on women with expectations and beliefs. Thank you for this brilliant video which, in my opinion, is a must watch for every woman ❤️❤️❤️
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So nice to find another Indian woman acknowledging this. ❤️
@@salonibhardwaj4068 ❤️
Yeah so hard that you live the longest
I love this. I grew up with a lot of judgement related to looks, weight and worthiness. I was a small girl and my sister was tall and bigger. This was brought to both our attention all the time. My father commented on women’s looks and looked at playboy in the family room all the time
This is first time watching Lisa’s show, although I have heard about her a lot fy Yin’s shows. I turn this one on because of Dr. Shefali is being interviewed. What a gem! Lisa you are! I love your style, do authentic, do real. You are the perfect person to interview the incredible Dr. Shefali. Love the interview!
Can I SCREAM?! This is so valuable! Thank you for this interview. Cheers to liberation!
you are amazing Lisa and Dr shefali!!
I could keep eating Dr. Shefali's words and ideas. I love her books and her interviews! She's so radical and clearheaded. Thanks for arranging this insightful interview, Lisa! 🌸🌸🌸
Its wonderful to see sisters supporting sistas 💞
Comparison breeds contempt internally & externally
Acceptance will set you free 🕊️
Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹
Y'all such an inspiration 🥰
Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖
Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈
Lisa....I so love this.I am so that *itch.Lol.I grew into being comfortable in my own skin.Lisa,I would be in horrors on times past to have someone see my without makeup and store bought hair.So much growth has come to me.This interview resonates so greatly with me.Some of the names I was known by in times past were "nice one", "miss goody two shoes" and "little miss can't do wrong".Lisa!Great interview.
This episode was outstanding! I’m going to watch it again and take notes. Thank you for what you do and share with us. ✨🤟🏼
this is the first time I see this channel and I am already in love with the host, she is so authentic
I am forever grateful to you for this talk!
This is so powerful, watching again thank you ladies! Love from Northern California!
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I take only 15 minutes to get ready, and Dr. Shaifali stoled my heart. Exact thing which I often try to say my friends and family ❤
This is an amazing interview.
Who controls culture?
A woman made a statement, "By saying "you guys," reinstates that men rule."
Those who believe they rule, and those who reinforce that belief, control everything.
On people praising external things about you - if you are a parent/caregiver, make sure that when you praise even the internal things about your child, that you are not doing so in a way that exploits those good things. Like, don't look at someone's drawing and say "you will be rich someday for that." That's turning it into a shallow and external thing. It's pushing them to monetize something that maybe they want only to do for themselves. Instead, say something like "I love how much color you use here," or "I can tell you worked very hard on this. You must be proud." Don't decide their future for them based on their talents. Let them drive their own future and interests. Support them by being intrigued in not just how "good" they are at something, but the unique way in which they pursue their interests and the ways in which they put effort into things that matter to them.
This channel is one of the best one came in RUclips suggestion ....❤️❤️❤️. Quality content 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
I had to replay that part about motherhood, that part resonated with me. In my culture, if you are my age 33 and no kids, people start to wonder if you are barren, or everyone is quick to tell you that your biological clock is ticking.
Well im 30 and no kids no hubby..+ im african he he..l know that song too
@@missr5238 girl the societal pressure is real, that's why we need to uplift each other. I celebrate you for speaking up.
UGH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!
Lisa, you rock girl!
I screamed Hallelujah when I heard "let's talk about being a mother and not identifying as being a mother". I thought I'm a monster. I considered myself a caring and adoring mentor for my sons. I always struggled with the feeling, definition and expectation of a mother. I thought I am not maternal. Had no issues that they are my children, but if someone would have asked "are you their mother" my visceral response would have been "No!"
My favorite talk show is Lisa's Women of Impact ❤️
Impact your financial life. Earn massively from cryptocurrency. Write me on Whatsapp for guidance..
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Needed this. Thanks ladies 💋
I love Dr Shefali! Was so grateful to meet her in person at Agape many years ago…
Two gorgeous inspiring womens! Such a great conversation. I love your energy!
I never felt pressured to get married or have kids, even though, i've done both; i just wanted to work, so i'm going back to school, so i can live my dream
Good for you..please be and enjoy your own power!!
This is like ond huge therapy session on stuff Ive been working on myself for quite a long time!! Hope this goes viral. 👌💕
“my love is unconditional but not my presence”
"...because you're always mothering anyway." hah! So true.
what does that mean?
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@@pinned2468 scammer
@@uknasa007 It means that each woman mothers herself!!
It's is liberating, empowering..like a deep exhale.. to find this woman. We have the same ideas. I feel seen in a world of blind people.
Live in that Goddess/Queen energy!!!
Oh wow...Just loved the way she puts across the concept of Yin and Yang in such a clear dissected way...
Thank you Lisa for bringing Dr.Shefali on board.
Love to hear her talk
Impact your financial life. Earn massively from cryptocurrency. Write me on Whatsapp for guidance.
I LOVED LOVED LOVED THIS EPISODE. THANK YOU ❤️❤️
Love these two women. Dr Shefali has helped me to become a better mother/woman. It's very hard to go against the grain when raising a daughter.
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Recently I kept thinking of how someone attempted to shame me for my age years ago. They said something like “You can’t work at Hooters as a waitress now because you’re now too old!” I was in my mid 30’s at that time when I was told that.
At that moment I was shocked that the person telling me those words was a man who is actually 6 months older than me.
Aging is part of the biology of the human anatomy and there are so many factors that contribute to our appearance: DNA, lifestyle, circumstances, personal choices, etc.
Why does looking like a 20 year old forever is even logical? Can you imagine being 50 years old but still holding on to look like a 20 year old?
Here are the choices life presents: aging or dying, what will you choose?
@@denasharpe2393 Aging and death are beyond our control. Living presently is what we can control.
What a beautiful, crucial conversation, so much great insight. Thank you!❤
I just wanted to say thanks for sharing these video's with us! I luv watching them, u are an amazing woman & ur guest's are too! Wishing u manny blessings & abundance. ..
This video is helping to heal my significant other. Thank you
Brilliant conversation., should be had more often. Women should have the choice .. well done🙏🏾
I had to watch this twice to really absorb everything. What an incredible episode. I'm buying her book!
This was so liberating, thanks ladies.
This is a really good one! This channel is so important to me it's hard to even put it into words ❤️
Dr. Shifali is a school of thought. Epic!🙏❤️
rewatching 💕
What a profound discussion! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼💜
I love love LOVE Dr. Shifali😍 She is the epitome of grace and beauty, and I love her talks on parenting, the way she discusses how parents don't own their children, they need to respect them as a separate person. And the part about embracing the "bitch" part of ourselves and being real instead of "nice"..TRUTH 💯🙌 Edit: Dr. Shefali (sp)
she's just androgynous masculine lesbian feminist
Definitely one of the best video I have ever seen in this channel, I looking forward reading this book, thanks Lisa and congrats for your worthwhile Chanel and all amazing woman we know trough you
I want my mom to hear this and understand !
This is soooo AMAZING AND INSIGHTFUL ❤️ will get the book!!
Great interview! Dr. Shefali is brilliant and eye capturing to listen to.
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The standard of beauty in different cultures is SO TRUE!!! OMG !!! It's absolutely hell and torture. I was born in Poland but raised in America and I definitely suffer with body image. Also it's so true about what we hear so its so important what we say to kids bc we become their inner voice!! That can not to said loud enough!!! People say oh your chunky, oh your this or that and that really stays with kids all the way thru adulthood!! It's so crucial to remember that. Even if you down a kid saying they can't achieve a certain educational goal, artistic goal, and etc it's so important to emphasize this to adults keep in mind what you say, it matters! Okay end of rant lol.
Thank you Lisa and Dr shefali
Such a treasure to have the knowledge in this generation. thank you so much for the video.
Amen
Needed to hear this today
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Thank you. I needed to hear this.
All of this!! Thank you...