The 8 Year Old With Body Dysphoria | Kids On The Edge | FULL DOCUMENTARY | Origin
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- Опубликовано: 21 мар 2022
- Is your child born in the wrong body?
Our children are struggling to know how to live in today’s world. Unprecedented numbers are being diagnosed with mental health disorders, medicated, or are facing a crisis of identity.
For nearly a hundred years the Tavistock and Portman has been at the forefront of exploring young minds. This series, with exclusive access to the Trust, goes behind the doors at the Tavistock for the first time.
It's the first question that's asked, before we're even born, "is it a boy or girl?", but for an increasing number of children the answer isn't straightforward.
The first film in this series, directed by BAFTA-award winning Peter Beard (My Son The Jihadi), follows two families who attend the Tavistock’s Gender Identity Development Service, through life changing decisions.
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Ash is 7 wearing a full face of makeup and having a boyfriend and kissing Him on the lips? Transgender or not...Her Mom needs to set boundaries
Preach!!!!
I think the whole ordering kids around is a large part of why these kids are so miserable. When your role model tries to solve problems they have by using violence (verbal/emotional threats and insults included, as we saw with one of the moms here), the kids learn to be violent themselves, and try to control others, again, as we also saw the kid doing. Kids role playing adults, dressing/acting like adults, and kissing like mom and dad, is totally normal. Just keep an eye on it so that it doesn't get uncomfortable for any of the kids involved, and things are fine.
@@thewiseturtle its not true. You are sick in the head if you think this is ok
@@ottopotatum5775 If I think what is ok? I already said that the abuse is the opposite of ok. The parents abusing the kids, ordering them around, insulting them, and so on, is the problem, not "ok".
Exactly
My daughter is transgender. Born a boy, she finally transitioned after high school. She suffered silently for yrs. I had no clue. Now at 27 she’s fully transitioned and is a model for a well established agency. I love my child, no matter what. Unconditionally.
Wow proud of you and your daughter. Good for her, wish her well accomplishments
as a trans person, this makes me very happy! you are a very good parent! and i wish your daughter the best!
Thank you for sharing and setting an example of how a parent should love their child; unconditionally. 💕
@@ozlothehousecat9770 you're probably 14 and trans because everyone on tiktok is, just like these kids
What’s her name or agency? Can I look her up?
My mom is still in denial about my transition, but when I told my dad he broke down into tears. All he had to say was “I knew the moment you were born, the moment I met you, that you were different. But you were mine. My baby. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you.”
Ash is 7 and has already lost her childhood innocence -irrelevant to her gender dysphoria. She has a phone, which she’s using to text her mother about suicide. *It horrified me to see that she’s wearing a full face of makeup to go to grade 1*, and it was expertly applied. And she’s already acting out in a sexual manner, kissing boys on the lips. She is _seven years old_. This kid has way bigger problems than being trans.
The kissing isn't that big of a deal, children have been doing that for years in kindergarten and elementary
@@pizzermaster1145 You’re right, on its own it’s fine, but it’s everything together. She is displaying an ongoing pattern of early sexualised behaviour and is just generally very mature for her age. She strikes me as acting like a 13 year old, not seven.
@@ScoobyDoozy I agree its not healthy for a 8 year old to use makeup daily to school, it could be because of her dysphoria but she shouldn't worry about her face since she looks feminine without makeup
@@pizzermaster1145 regardless her mother shouldn’t be allowing her to sexualise herself. The way she Carrie’s herself, everything strikes me as a 14 year old. I just cannot believe she’s 7, it’s shocking. I think this little one has been exposed to far too much too soon. You can see she’s already lost her innocence. It’s heartbreaking
@@ScoobyDoozy she's got something she doesnt want between her legs so just wants to make sure that she looks like a girl.
These kids could really benefit from talking to a kid a bit older who had been through the same thing. Adults can be very compassionate, but unless they're Trans it's not the same thing.
Like a trans big brother/sister. That might be a really nice thing that could be worked out. It would also just tell them they are not the only one.
Yup! As a transgender person, I can’t wait to grow up and help others through their journey. Hopefully by then we live in a more accepting society. (Which obviously we will.) 🤩
I wish I could talk to these kids so bad. I know what it’s like to feel like you’ll never fit in the gender boxes given to you. I’m trans. I understand the hurt it causes
That’s what was difficult growing up for me and why we need more lgbt representation and resources and just acceptance. I’m not trans but I’m gay and grew up in a Christian school. Who do you look up to? Who’s your role model? Who do you ask questions? Sometimes I find myself jealous of kids these days having it a bit easier even tho I’m sure it’s still not super easy. But when I was a kid I know it was a lot more difficult. And I’m only 27.
That wouldn’t make anything better but worst .
Ash was bullied and assaulted at her old school for being trans. Mom moves entire family to new town, new school, then proceeds to push Ash to tell her friends and agrees to film a documentary about trans gender kids. 🤔 Make it make sense
Many parents of trans kids are just in it for the attention. The kids themselves have just been brainwashed and aren't grounded in reality. It's pretty much like Munchausen by proxy. Kids should be kids. Till they're done puberty, their hormones will be all over the place. 80% of these issues resolve themselves if you just let nature take course and raise the kids in a stable, positive environment. I'd also recommend therapy because trans genderism is more often than not a symptom of abuse or trauma. We need to see it as a cry for help.
It's because the problem was INTOLERANCE not her identity being known
People should not have to live in the dark, fearing that the moment their true self is exposed they're gonna be victims of violence
It's quite simple actually
“Sometimes I feel like if I stay a child forever, nothing bad will happen, everyone will understand and nothing changes. But that means if I don’t get older, nothing really really good will happen, will it?” That was one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard a child say, Ashley is so intelligent and going through so much my heart goes out to her ❤
Something bad likely happened to that child that lead to these feelings of gender dysphoria. The trauma is what needs to be addressed. Transitioning to another gender will not help with that.
I'm so sorry for Matt in this one, he said many times his pronouns and they kinda just made it look like they ignored his opinion on his own gender, in a gender clinic
Trans men are SUPER infantalized. Even after they're able to really "pass" as a man. It's horrible and I blame misogyny.
That’s probably why he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t feel respected. I cringed every time he got misgendered.
Fr like do they think they are making him feel better by calling him the wrong name and pronouns 💀
Right? His mum complaining that he won't open up to her when she won't even use the correct pronouns and ignores him drawing a big circle around "BOY"
I wouldn't wanna open up if the first time I did it was thrown back at me like that either
When I was a kid my parents took me to a gender therapist. The therapist would refer to me by my chosen pronouns alone with me. But would "misgender" me in front of my folks It confused and upset me. Today I'm 25, and I no longer have an issue with the gender I was assigned at birth. I don't know what to think or where I stand. Or if any of this matters.
Maybe my point is there should be a balance where kids feel comfortable to express themselves, but not in a way that permanent decisions are made. I'm certainly glad I don't have to live with the consequences of what I wanted as a child. But I'm just one person and one case...
I just couldnt understand why when Ash and her family moved to get away from her being bullied, why her mother was pushing her to tell the ones at her new school that she was had boy parts. She sees herself as a girl so why on earth should she have to tell the other students that she's got something different between her legs? Its not like she's old enough for a serious sexual relationship yet. That is no different to having a hidden disability of some kind and not wanting the children to know about it. It's Ash's personal business and she should not have had pressure put onto her to tell (esp when we all know how cruel other kids can be). I think that pressure gave her anxiety she may not have had much of otherwise. Maybe she would have been content at her new school without that pressure on her.
Ash initially refused for anyone to know of her transgenderism. Unfortunately once she found a "boyfriend" she felt she needed to reveal everything. She was conflicted about in any way keeping secrets.
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Was thinking the same thing
I find it weird how many comments think ppl should know. I don't rember anyone at my school going around being like "btw I have a dick" it's be kinda weird in g1
@@finnsnow2495 well said dear i agree 🙂🙂 .
Why is 7 year old Ash being allowed to control the entire family? I don’t think the gender is the issue, these parents need to set boundaries ASAP
Mom needs to nip this in the bud right now. I mean who’s the parent here?
What is she controlling her family is obviously just like any other. She’s not forcing people to see her as her gender. Mental health is a huge problem because it could end is suicide if the bullying and she has no support. This is a serious thing
how is she controlling them
@@snickerswo1f519 She's not. The parents are trying their best to do what they believe is best for their child.
Hey @intothevoid I have a theory I am interested in testing. could you answer a question for me? would you consider yourself a politically right-wing person or more of a politically left-wing person?
I’m transgender and transitioned five years ago after feeling body dysphoria for years. For such a long time I was so confused and so alone in my body and with my peers because I didn’t understand what being trans was, but now I am at peace. These kids all deserve the biggest hug. It’s terrifying and lonely to be trans, it’s so scary and I hope they’re all well.
Im just a straight dude wondering if u can 100% change ur snake to a frog or frog to snake, i know with test and implants for boobs u can 100% change the appearance vice versa, but can u change down there where if say someone like me see it that i would not know. Does such operations exist yet or has it been done successfully yet? Do u or anyone else here know maybe?
@@jotube6147 Ok so to answer (sadly not rlly a short one) - if you have a “frog” and wanna turn it into a penis, there’s two diff surgeries u can get , but both r super expensive and don’t give the full experience per se. Phallioplasty is where a skin graft is taken from yur arm and they build u a ween out of it (and yes u can pick the size 💀💀💀💀). You wouldn’t know from the appearance but it can’t rlly get hard as well or anything. It looks like a dick and u can pee from it but that’s about it. If you have a peen and want to turn it into a coochie it’s a lot easier and entirely unable to be discerned from that of a not trans woman’s vagina . Since biological men have a lot more aspects of female biology it’s a lot easier to transfer it. Surgery for trans women to get a vagina is a lot more common because it’s less costly, more successful and more effective. Surgery for trans men getting a penis is a lot less common because it’s not as effective. Hope that explains it brother
you can, but its useless, talking about vag to peen @@jotube6147
@@jotube6147you can let uour snake get turned into s non snake lol its possible but its just not the same as a real non snake
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Man im trying to get my son to not piss on the toilet seat, I couldn imagine dealing with any of this stuff.
These kids have issues
Good luck 😂 it never ends
Beautiful documentary. Very eye opening. It made me remember my feelings as a kid and knowing I was attracted to girls but never feeling like I could talk about it. Carrying around these parts of ourselves that are deeply hidden is a huge burden. I'm so happy that we live in a much more open and accepting society, regardless of what the media says, most people want the best for one another. Most people are good people just doing their best.
Being Gay is one thing. Being a transgender is a whole other. They literally are in a body that is not theirs.
@@lisamanson4937 don’t invalidate the feelings surrounding being gay just because it’s not TRANS. What’s wrong with you? It’s still very difficult. Trust me, I relate wholeheartedly to this person.
Right. I completely relate. It took a huge toll on my mental health. I knew as early as I can remember but didn’t come out until age 19/20.
@@lisamanson4937 by default everyone's body is his or her own body. What a preposterous idea that the person's body doesn't belong to him or her and the correct body is somewhere else.
@@katie.e.g. im gay too man but its not the same
For reference, I am trans. I feel like I don't belong on this planet honestly.
For Ashley, it's great she seems to be able to find female role models to look up to and is obviously a very bright kid. But as an 8 year old child she shouldn't be using social media or dating. She seems to be learning how to be a girl from media and the media tends to sexualize women way too much and it seems to be making her sort of adultify herself. Little concerning. Tho I can see why she'd want to develop like an afab girl would. I don't see too much of a problem with makeup, she wants to express herself and be feminine but she doesn't need anything like foundation or concealer. She's 8 her skin will thank her a few years later on if she just holds off on the foundation for a bit. And it's reasonable she'd be reluctant to tell people. She got bullied and pretty severely it sounds like, she doesn't want that to happen again. She's just scared. But she should eventually learn how being open about it right away could save her from having to deal with dangerous situations in the future. And once again get her a flip phone or a slideup for contacting mom and calling friends, she doesn't need to be and legally cannot be on social media at 8.
As for Matt, it seems he's just incredibly overwhelmed and feeling alone about it. He probably uses his headworlds and stories to escape from those overwhelming feelings. And with his ASD, I can see why he wouldn't want to talk about it. He definitely seems to need blockers. He seems quite confident in his boyhood so having a female puberty would definitely really mess with him. I think just educating him about this stuff would help. He's not alone. Someone else already said it but both of these kids would benefit from talking to older trans people, especially Matt. He's not the only one who feels this way and I'm sure there's plenty of trans guys out there who'd be more than willing to help him see that. Ashley definitely needs a positive influence as well. I hope these kids stay safe and true to themselves.
You don't feel like you belong on this planet? Your issues go way beyond being trans. Your issues are Existential. You want to know what it means to BE HUMAN. We don't know what it means to be human in the grand scheme of things. This is why you are obsessed with your "identity" Changing your gender didn't give you peace, Because you still have no idea of your place in the universe.
Wow, grell on ur pfp!!!! I love her sm ❤️
Also, trans man here talking, absolutely agree with your points. With the sexualisation and objectification of women on the internet I feel like there is a huge danger to some trans kids, as their dysphoria may make them exaggerate these things even more. When I was in my most dysphoric phase I stopped being myself completely, because the stereotype for a man was to be gross, emotionless, not interested in fashion and misogynistic, and I was!!! The last one a little bit less, because I was and still am in largely leftist and feminist circles, but I stereotyped women in crude ways because a woman being similar to me, meant that I was not masculine enough, a very toxic mindset to have.
It was a terrible experience because deep down I knew I wasn't true to myself, but I would feel invalid the moment I didn't reinforce these stereotypes.
Basically, would not recommend, -100/10, I am worried these kids may experience the same thing as I did.
Edit: i sound as though I am past my transitioning point completely in that comment but I just want to clarify, what I describe here happened to me just a little over a year ago. I'm not even taking hormones yet, because my parents are convinced I just made it all up. Not fun. Anyway, yeah, just wanted to clarify :))
God has a plan and a purpose for you. You are not a mistake at all!
Reminder that God loves you so much and Jesus Christ died for your sins! Jesus Christ is the one and only way to Heaven
not feeling we belong or fit in is that for most people, not just trans or gay, that s why people create or join gangs,associations,clans etc. we live in a scary world. i agree they need to speak to older trans and also need to be told there s no need to rush...it seems they have adult decisions to make before even being a teen.
The mother should’ve strongly taught her child that she cannot be in a relationship of any kind while the other person doesn’t know who they’re having a relationship with ! usually you’d have this conversation as a teenager, but in this case this young child has been exposed to this very very early so should’ve been taught very very early that is not acceptable and not fair on the other person!
That should be a brainer if she doesn't teach them they could end up getting hurt badly or even killed
no cuz fr tho
Trish Loiacono I totally agree.. Clearly child abuse, and the sinister smile/smirk the mother gave when she said how would the other boy's parents feel about the kiss if they knew he was a boy...Very disturbing....
Its also the other way around. People need to teach their kids to be accepting of others, and no this dosent mean you have to be forced to like them. Trans people, especially trans women who date cis men, can be in danger if they tell the wrong person their trans. If it werent for the hate and violence than Trans people recive then they would not feel the need to keep these things from people. So really your complaning about somthign that is really just the outcome of greater issue, which by concequence means your argument will do nothing but help the very thing your arguing against.
I think this is more applicable on adult sexual relationships not 7 yr olds who play adults and give each other a peck on the lips once or twice and then probably go "I break up" one week later like geez she is probably going to understand this in time as she grows up, most trans people do understand that it matters especially to their own safety because some ppl have horrid uncalled for reactions where it end up in assault or murder.
I'm trans myself and so the idea of being in a relationship with such a big secret hanging over it scares me. Ash should definitely be taught right and wrong with relationships. Not just because its right but also because she could definitely get hurt badly if she dates someone who sees all of it as disgusting and wrong. Calling it self defense out of fear from finding out.
I'm in a loving relationship with another trans individual so we don't have to worry about this but not everyone gets this lucky. I feel for these children and I only want the best for them.
I’m happy that you’re in a good relationship. I wish you both all the best ❤️
@Absolute! What is that supposed to mean?
@@Percy_Of_The_Sea don't feed that troll, love. But to respond to what you mentioned, It is something I wish was talked about more. When to "disclose" etc. Such a difficult thing to carry! Being trans/enby etc shouldn't have to be someone's entire identifier or personality, but if my son were, I think my advice to him would be, "talk about it as much as you can to people you can trust so that the act of taking about it becomes so natural it doesn't feel like a burden. Surround yourself with those you would protect, and who would protect you. And talk about it in a way to displace yourself from harm. That way no one can claim they were mislead, because people react to that in such a violent way sometimes and it's unfair, but that's the world. And it shouldn't matter what anyone thought. But it unfortunately does, and I don't care where you go, what you say or how you behave, no one should mistreat you. You don't deserve it."
My grandmother had a phrase I loved, "when you're walking on thin ice, you might as well dance."
@@Percy_Of_The_Sea but then again I'm speaking as an outsider. Just an opinion for whatever it may be worth. Also, my 11 y/o cishet son in South Carolina says that in his school no one is mean to the kids that are enby/trans. I'm sure there are still jerks, but this next generation is healing some old wounds. So there's that.
@@GuerillaWelder I, myself, am more NB so my appearance hasn't changed any since before I'd come out except I've cut my hair so them saying what they said about the "You look like it" kinda irritated me. Its like saying I look trans despite the fact that my pfp is what I've looked like for years. In fact, it's one of my favorite pics from last Halloween. I just wish people would take a step back before commenting. Especially since you can't always tell just from appearance alone. I'm in total agreement that no one should mistreat you. No one, no matter who it is, deserves it. I'm glad the kids in your son's school are nice and welcoming. Its a major relief seeing schools supporting their students and teaching them to support each other. It gives me hope that one day, if my partner chooses to have children, we won't have to worry about our little ones but, for now, He's content with just our fur babies and I'm alright with that.
Child: I am a boy. I am male. He/him. Guy. Lad.
Family: she speaks in such mysterious ways. What could that possibly mean???
she´s mentally ill
This 💯!!
Being a trans male in a nutshell
Grown man named @marid.2874 :what a load of rubbish oh how I hate them.
@@wonderrob3225i'm so confused lol. What are you on about? Who do i hate?
I just wanted to see why the kid had his eyed bandaged shut but that was just clickbait .
Dang. I came here for more than that, but seeing them bandaged up definitely piqued my curiosity. I'm only 2 minutes in but plan on watching it regardless. It is disappointing to read that I'll have to remain curious about what was in the thumbnail. I figured it held some sort of significance. 🤦🏼♀️
@@JustJ-Me If you don't want spoilers its probably best to watch the video before scrolling the comments . I know that can take some restraint . While the kid was my main draw it was also misleading because it implies kids with a wide range of mental conditions other than primarily gender identity disorder .
@@celestialcircledance I'm not really upset about spoilers. Nothing was ruined for me or anything. I hope you didn't take my comment the wrong way. I was more or less agreeing with you that it's too bad it apparently doesn't explain the tape. I typically like reading the comments as much as I like watching the videos. 😊
@@JustJ-Me It can add a different perspective . Thanks for clarifying !
@@celestialcircledance I'm really interested in human behavior and disorders so I was hoping the tape/ bandages would be explained but I'm good with watching the video regardless of what it contains. I'm really sorry if it sounded like I was upset with you for "spoiling" it with your comment. I actually appreciated your comment bc it kinda gave me a heads-up as well as let me know that others were as curious as I was about the bandages.
i need the parents to know that misgendering a child who might still be learning about themselves is so incredibly wrong. as a trans person myself, i would feel so wronged if i was in this video, and you should never force someone to come out to people they do not want to come out to.
U
Thank u for speaking out,as a MAGA CONSERVATIVE MERRRRICAN,I LOVE YOUR BRAVERY AND COURAGE FOR SAYING WHATS RIGHT,GOD BLESS YOUR HEART
That´s what I thought. Just let her be a girl at school, why does she have to tell anyone anything? They see what she is. A girl.
Absolutely ridiculous, 7 yr old wearing makeup,don't allow her any makeup.who buys the makeup? Who is running the house.parent or child?
Ash's mom is raising her to be a proper spoilt brat. They move because of her, and then after just 6 months they move back because that's what Ash wants. And then she kicks off for not getting on her old class and wants to move back to Brighton. Gender issues or not, she's growing up to be one spoilt individual.
lol! love yr frankness
I absolutely agree. Gender had no bearing on her behavior. Looks like mom bows down to everything that child demands including uprooting the other child. She's a spoiled brat.
At one point with the therapist, Ash, n her Mother they all say to her(Ash repeats) "It's my life, my body, and my decision". Ah ha moment! This is why Ash thinks she's in charge n should get whatever SHE WANTS because they've taught her starting at 7-8yrs old she can do what she wants?!?!? I'm fine with the transition in her case but she is still a child, as a matter of fact the transition is the least worrying issue with this child. Why on earth is she acting like a 16yr old kissing boys in third or fourth grade. Mom n Dad need to stop letting her be involved with adult matters period.
I saw quite the opposite. Ash's mom was constantly yelling at (abusing) the kid, even calling Ash insulting names. No wonder the kid was miserable a lot of the time.
Agreed.
Matt: I want to be a boy, I feel like a boy, I want to be referred to as a boy, my pronouns are he/him, I want to live my life as a boy.
His parents: we don’t know what is up with HER, we wonder why SHE is unhappy, poor girl:(
its´s because she´s mentally ill
I've had gender dysphoria since 11 yrs old. Im 19 now and fully transitioned from female to male. I'm doing so much better, succeeding and living my life as a regular guy. I don't tell anyone i'm trans and don't parade it like many others do. I want more than anything to live normally, and not have my past haunt me forever.
@@sheilalangston7035 would you rather me have killed myself at 13 or live happily, contribute to society and be able to have a life like everyone else?
I’m 18 and also a transgender male I also don’t tell everyone that I’m transgender and I don’t parade about it either because I don’t want my past to haunt mr. I have suffered from gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. I officially came out when I was 14.
oh! i'm trans ftm as well :) still closeted unfortunately, but hey i'll work on it!! i'm glad you're doing better and that everything went smoothly
i’m 13 and questioning if i’m trans and the realization that i could one day be just like you makes me tear up with happiness, thank you for giving me hope for my future ❤️
I'm 15, turning 16 soon. I really hate being transgender. I'm missing out on a normal highschool experience and it bugs me. I had to quit a sport I loved because I couldn't stand being in a swimsuit, it was so fucking humiliating. I've tried over and over again to be a girl because I am terrified of this being my reality but it isn't working. I just want a normal life.
Matt looks so much happier when he's at school. When he's around his peers. When hes...Matt. I think he's just afraid of his family judging him and feels more comfortable where he could be himself.
How do I know this?
I'm ftm and I was in the same place as a child. I was afraid of my parents judging me even though they just wanted to understand me. I'm now on testosterone and I'm due to get top surgery. I got medically approved by multiple professionals to transition and have a 2017 dysphoria diagnosis. I wish I was able to start sooner so I wouldn't need surgery. I hope Matt is able to live as his true and authentic self.
How are you doing today
exactly!! If they just sat down and said "hey. whatever name you use, whatever pronouns you want to use, we'll love and support you reguardless" or just yaknow used matt and he/him at home, they might notice a change! but they're so up their own asses, that they can't recognize that MAYBE making a massive deal out of this is making matt feel like he's doing something wrong in their eyes.
"You think of him as a brother?"
"Yeah. One that died and fell off a cliff" with a big happy smile.
Same girl, same
Thats honestly concerning and sad. Cause if you think about it, that means she hates her boy-self. (Aka she hates herself).
Transgender people with a healthy mindset still look at their past selves as their biological gender and acknowledge that it was still them. They accepted that it was them back then and this is them now. And often times they look back and pity/ sympathesize with their past selves.
@@supportseoyoungeun5979 That is very mature thinking for a child.
@@Lucailey true but I don't think they should let her keep hating her past self like this.
J
@@supportseoyoungeun5979 i think it’s her way of being like “that wasn’t me, the real me can live now”
the satisfaction she had in her eyes when she said ashton had fallen off a cliff. she truly feels comfortable in her body.
A 7 year old describing part of herself as falling off a cliff is disturbing. Not a healthy way of viewing the part of her that she must reconcile with her entire life and especially coming from young child who has suicidal ideation.
Why aren't they moving the troubled kid to another class, instead of moving Ash? The kid who bullied her shouldn't stay in that class. I can imagine Ashs' feelings, they are giving the impression she's the one making trouble... But she's just by being herself. That's so wrong!
A huge part of the problem is that we've been socially and even physically differentiating "male" and "female" as something arbitrary, something far beyond the biological functions of making sperm and eggs. Everything outside of that, from clothing, to hair length, to body shape, to vocal range, to personality, to types of activities we like are unrelated to the gender (sex) of the body. If you can draw the outside of a "boy" and a "girl" you're doing something irrational. Some males have large breasts. Some females have tiny ones. And hair length is just a preference. As are clothes. There's nothing "body dysmorphic" about not wanting hair on your body, or being weirded out by puberty.
If a big deal is made out of whether a human wants to wear long hair, dresses, lipstick, or a sportscoat, or play sports or write fantasy fiction or dance, as opposed to some other appearance or activity, that's the problem, not the personal preferences for the human.
Of course there is body dysmorphia in general, where one feels like one's body parts should be dramatically different, to the point of self harm, but it's much rarer and not related to sperm or egg generation, obviously. Real body dysmorphia, be it related to genitals, face shape, weight, or anything else, should be treated with great care and minimal invasiveness, and also not made a big deal of as it only makes things worse for everyone.
That doesn't make billions for pharmaceutical companies so that's out.
This sounds like a big slap in the face towards trans people. Gender is complex, and every culture has their own way of viewing it
@@lexdraws1729 I'm saying that we make it really hard for folks who want to express themselves in ways that reflect their personal experience. That means that it would be fully normal and totally ok for males to wear dresses and like what used to be called "girly" things, and be normal for females to wear and do stuff we used to call "masculine". This is good for everyone, regardless of any body dysmorphia or other sex-based medical stuff.
@@thewiseturtle 💯
Gender dysphoria may be experienced as social dysphoria, this is distress and discomfort that occurs as a result of how one is viewed by society. Making assumptions about social roles (women having long hair or men being muscular) in relation to gender can all be factors contributing to a person’s experience of social dysphoria. People who do not conform to societal expectations of gender may be stigmatized, misgendered, and may face harassment. All of these can have a harmful impact and contribute to negative feelings, including dysphoria.
Its important to note that there is a difference between sex (male or female), gender roles (behaviors that are considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for a person based on that person's sex) and gender identity (the personal sense of ones own gender.) This is a distinction made by many contemporary social and behavioral scientists, biologists and legal systems.
Sometimes, an individual's assigned sex and gender do not align, and the person may be transgender. People who are transgender may desire medical assistance to deal with gender dysphoria such as hormone replacement therapy or sex reassignment surgery but not all transgender people desire these treatments. In the end, this is a very real issue and saying things like "just because you want long hair doesn't mean you are transgender" can be really damaging when social roles play a big part on how ones sex is perceived.
It really bugs me how people keep misgendering these kids. It's crazy you think just because someone is autistic, they can't tell what gender they are. This is just absolutely freaking unbelievable.
Getting angry at a normal reaction from people in her life is wild💀 this is the real world not twitter get over it
@@penguinmina7296 Misgendering? Really. My goodness this is sad if this what someone sees as the problem. Socially transition a child and you put them on the path towards medicalization. The trans-advocates have produced their own research to highlight this. The affirmative pathway is defined and it incremental steps intended to confuse. The reason kids feel like they are "born in the wrong body" is because someone affirms this ridiculous assertion.
@@markrussell3428I agree with you 💯 percent
I know right! My sibling is both trans and autistic and knows exactly how they identify. Just because they have trouble communicating to adults what is going on doesn’t mean they don’t know or aren’t capable of making these decisions.
Obviously it’s concerning that Ash is doing things like kissing, wearing makeup and having a phone at such a young age, but I think it has less to do with being spoilt or wanting to be grown up than just wanting to be seen as a normal girl and wanting to have a similar experience as one. As a trans person, I look back on my childhood and feel so hurt that I wasn’t able to live a similar experience as the other boys, even with the smallest and most irrational aspects, because it relates back to the fact that I wasn’t just born as a boy in the first place. I feel like the best thing Ash’s mother can do for her is to understand and affirm Ash’s feelings to want to live like the other girls. With that as the first step, guiding Ash to not involve herself in activities that could potentially harm her may come easier with the base of understanding and affirmation laid down.
It’s called gender dysphoria not body dysphoria those are two completely different things.
Gender dysphoria is the diagnosis. What your thinking of isn't body dysphoria it's body dysmorphia. Dysphoria and dysmorphia are 2 different things. Body dysphoria isn't a diagnosis of anything.
@@ashmcblane2642 I know what it’s actually called I had hoped the person that posted this would read the comment then fix the title.
@@kaylaports4449 Oh, I didn't even notice it said "dysphoria". Yeah, that's dumb. Dysmorphia is the word. Morph is the word for "shape". Body dysmorphia is when you feel like your body shape (morph) is ugly (dys). It's normal in humans in a competitive, anti-human society, but can be more extreme in some folks.
Dysphoria, on the other hand, means ugly (dys) to bear (phoria). It's sort of the sense of existing being a bad thing. Contrast with euphoria.
Right on! Good of you to correct this!
You mean it's not body dysmorphia
I'm really glad these parents are doing their best to help their children. It makes me happy to know parents are being accepting to their children.❤
The thing is that the parents are not valuing their kids for who they are, and are acting like dressing with certain clothes and wearing certain kinds of hairstyles and wanting to be called a certain name are noteworthy or, in these parent's cases, traumatic and worth going to a doctor about. Wanting to remove one's penis at age 3 is worth getting help about, but the visual appearance and other superficial stuff is totally unremarkable.
@@thewiseturtle any child at the age of three who has those thoughts, has some serious mental issues or trauma of some sort. I don’t know any children concerned with their genitalia, if they are you have to wonder if they were sexually abused or exposed to something inappropriate.
@@kittenritty7959 That's what I said.
At such a young age this is disturbing
Access to the internet is what ruined this child mental health
Even if she was born a girl this would still be my opinion
@@kittenritty7959 children at the age of three are able to be aware of their gender and gender identities. Literally every study shows that.
I dont think that its right for children who aren't even in puperty to decide something like this. Their brains aren't nearly fully developed yet and their personality and mind is going to change during puberty aswell. I think its better for boys and girls who are struggling with rhis topic to wait until they're at least 17-20 as they will be far more mature and will be able to make a decision that won't harm them in the long run
If something like that is allowed, why cant you get tattooed under the age of 18 years old and from the of 16 with your parents consent(im from germany and thats how its done here)
It sounds so stupid to me to let children decide such a big thing at such a young age
Very eye opening, thank you for the insight & documentary💞
I was born cis, and I felt that I had a gender that matched my body. So, I never had issues becoming a male. But, I have known someone who had difficulties feeling correct in their body. So, it is not something that they dream up. This person wanted to be anything -- other than someone who had these issues. So, to me, it's gotta be something that occurs during gestation when the child is in the womb. THe process that makes each of us become male or female and then feel male or female, is probably switched slightly to make that person who is born a certain gender feel like they are a different gender. So, that's how I know there is nothing weird about this. It's just biology that worked a little different for them. And, I respect them so much for being who they are.
Honest question, if the person's body is healthy, why is this treated by altering it instead of as a mental condition?
@@tgbluewolf What…? Sorry i want to answer your question as a transgender person myself but I genuinely can’t understand what you’re asking
@@PhysicallyAwake Its very clear what theyre asking. why plan dumb?
@@tgbluewolf Beings transgender isn't a mental problem really, they feel they are born in the wrong body, the way to fix that is to present the way they want too. While we don't know why exactly people are trans, it's just how they are, there's nothing wrong with supporting them and giving them the medical care they need to present how they want, whether that be hormones or surgery, neither or both. When they are denied the acceptance and treatment they want, that causes worse gender dysphoria and can turn into depression, anxiety, and even become suicidal, so denying them care will have them worse off.
@@tgbluewolf Okay, I saw your comment now, and let me answer from the experience that I said above. This friend of mine did not have any type of mental issues whatsoever. They were very adjusted. And, they did not have body dysmorphia, as some people think that transgender people have. What their situation was, is that they had an internal feeling that they were in the wrong type of body. They described it like being in alien in their own bodies. So, it was not something that they wanted. They would have done anything to make their mind match and feel like their body was the correct body. So, it's not something of choice. It is something that is much deeper and not solveable by just telling someone to think different. This is not about their choices to be something different, because they were something different in the areas of their brain where gender and also their sexuality are located.
Don’t give up. Be true to who you are. Please know all of you are loved very much. I love all of you and I’ve never even met any of you. The world is your oyster, live life large. Sending all of you unconditional love and light.
The Mother of Ash, talks to her like an Equal.
She is the Adult and Ash is very Precocious.
Make-up, Boyfriend, Kissing ..
At 8 ??
Ridiculous !!
Transgender, or not.
Thank you for that. Reading through the comments I was beginning to think I was the only one that saw it. What ever Ash wants, Ash gets, mother goes along and forces little brother to go along with what ever might make Ash happy in the moment. Gender aside, this CHILD needs a parent. To be fair, I have raised four kids, no its never reasonable to say a parent is doing it wrong because it isnt the way "I would do it". However, letting the child make all of the decisions because it is easier and nicer to go along with what she wants, isnt parenting.
The first time i wore makeup was at 8 and everyone had kissed someone, kids are innocent, the way they kiss isn’t the way how adults kiss. Idk why ppl make such a big deal about it, it would only be worrying if she went out and did bad stuff. A small little kiss and some makeup isn’t gonna harm them LMAO
@@jealous6434 damn ur parents must suck then.. sorry you had to grow up, or feel like a grown up, so young
@@surprised376 love the assuming. My parents actually liked that i found a hobby and that i liked making art on my face. Where you not allowed to have hobbies? LMAO
@@surprised376 had to grow up?? Bc I kissed someone and wore mascara and lipgloss. If that’s your idea of growing up to quick then you should see the kids that have to take care of their parents and siblings, those are the real ppl that where forced to grow up too fast
Children know they are trans at a young age, but letting them have a boyfriend? wearing a full face of makeup? letting them kiss? it’s too much for the child’s brain. They grow up too fast, today’s world is messed up because things like this are accepted
I wish someone could sit down with these kids and just tell them "it's ok to be you" just tell them that there's a whole world out there of people that will accept them :( school is such a short part of life and all the people who don't accept you will be irrelevant in who you blossom into
There really really really needs to be a follow up to this. It’s been almost 2 years since this aired. Good or bad we should be able to know how such young people making such huge permanently life altering decisions are living with their choices. We are living in such different times and any help we can get in navigating through them would be nice.
Thank you.
Shutting down of the tavistock is a clue…
@@aviolet3981
Oh. Thanks. I’m not from 🇬🇧 so had no idea.
I would say that that is a big clue, yes.
I’m indifferent when it comes to adults deciding what they feel the need to do with their own bodies. But children …
Why do elementary school children have phones and makeup?
My kids got a mobile phone at the age of 10 - only to call me if they need. No smartphone to go online or play games. That‘s not necessary in such an age.
I‘m worried about this new generation….
Ash gets what Ash wants. Uprooting the family twice, which means the younger sibling too, and then she has a tantrum about not being in her old class again. If this kid doesn't get set firm boundaries, her and her mom are set for many more problems.
Sounds like you know what’s best. I think maybe you are simplifying the situation.
Little narcissist in the making.
@@EMVelez Pretty rude, maybe it is more complex then your little pea brain can comprehend.
I have body dysphoria too. I was afraid of everything growing up. I didn't care if I was female or male. I never saw myself as either. I thought I was an alien or monster. I found out from mental health and my doctor's I have body dysphoria. My self awareness is none existent. But I am very sensitive to my environment and others. I get confused a lot, I use to be depressed and suicidal. I dealt with it earlier in my life so I don't have depression and suicidal thoughts anymore. I am 40 years old. I have autism too with an IQ score of 200. My family is accepting of me. I am lucky. I have support and I build my community around me earlier in my life. Even if I didn't have my family I would have built it myself. I've been aware of my differences since I was seven years old. I started talking to my mom about it. I didn't speak until I was six.
have you ever heard of nonbinary? It might be nice to look into that because you said you don’t see yourself as male or female :]
Maybe ur non binary? Since you said you don't see urself as male or female.
it's so crazy that kids that young are even thinking of insults like that or, "othering" their peers so aggressively
Matt talking about how he feels at the end ♡ :))))
She has a phone - kisses boys at such a young age --- not to mention wearing make-up... This is sad... If she had boundaries I feel she could just be a kid. She is so stressed out about making adult decisions. She really feels she is a girl and needs the adults to help her navigate that huge decisions. But one thing is you can't keep moving to avoid reality...
Must be a product of a totally dysfunctional family and society.
Ive struggeled for years with all kinds of different problems and I know I could tell my parents but I don't. Even if they seem to be doing fine, its ok to check in on your child once in a while.
My heart goes out to these parents having to make such hard decisions on behalf of their children.
On one hand the child feels strongly now, but as adults we know that minds change into adulthood. On the other if you don't act it could mean your child's happiness.
I have a cis nephew who was showing disphoria around age 5 or so. They started going by another name, and dressing ad a girl. He is now a happy 15 year old. Thankfully he didn't do hormone blockers, and he is now 6 ft tall and still growing!
Are you saying thankfully he didn't because he changed his mind or...
@@andreacoones1587 Yes, sorry I realized I wasn't clear.
He is now living happily as a cis boy.
My theory is that early on he picked up on his mother continuing to have babies to jave a daughter, and he wanted the approval and attention. He is no longer in that toxic environment, and is doing well in a healthy household.
That’s why I think it’s important to let kids discover their identity and give them the support in order to explore it. Hormone blockers cause no long term affects and just mean puberty will start later if you decide to go off them so if I kid is having bad body dysphoria I see nothing wrong with putting them on hormones for a couple years until they figure out how they feel. Some people don’t hit puberty until an older age anyway and it’s perfectly fine. To take actual hormones requires a proper psychological assessment and you need to be at least 18 in most places I believe. So by that age if kids have been given the chance to explore, by the time they are 18 they will know if they are actually trans or not. And when they get assessed the doctors are trained and able to tell if they understand and do really feel like they are trans, if the doctor thinks they might change their mind later then the doctor won’t let them take hormones yet. So I think it’s important to have an open space, let your kid explore their identity with no pressure. I think there is also a problem of people coming out of trans then realising their not but being too scared to tell people they changed their mind so I think it’s important to be open to that as well. Let the kid explore and try out different identities until they find out which one fits them. Maybe they will come back to their assigned gender and be happy with it or maybe they will find something new that resonates with them, either way I think it’s important to let them explore. I think everyone should have the opportunity to explore their identity if they want to because even if they are cis, they might end up thinking “what if I was trans” but they don’t really know because they never had the opportunity to experience what it’s like to be the opposite gender.
@@rachelcookie321 Science has no idea if hormone blockers cause lasting effects. We don't have enough data to say, but it definitely has side effects.
I'm of the opinion that any intervention needs in depth psych evaluation, therapy and a diagnosis.
It seems socially we are very quick to jump on the bandwagon for medical intervention in these cases. It's unfortunate that hormone blockers are used as often as they are, and we definitely need more discussion regarding the very real topic of detransision.
@@tbella5186 hormone blockers have been in use for 30 years now with no sign of long term affects, I think that’s probably long enough to assume there won’t be any problems from them. There are some side affects but there are side affects for all medication. It’s like taking the pill to stop heavy periods. The symptoms are about the same severity, the affects are just as reversible and both used with young teenagers. The pill gets handed out from just one visit to the GP, I think the access to hormone blockers is proportionate.
This is heartbreaking but also beautiful to see how much help they are getting. Heartbreaking because the children and parents are struggling. It's horrible that the children are bullied for being themselves
My brother born in the 60s had body disphoria. Thankfully this wasn't available. At 18 he finally revealed the sexual abuse he went through starting at 3 by his babysitters 13 year old son. Then in his 20s bi-polar disorder was discovered and he was diagnosed with it as well as ADHD and OCD. Today is on great medication and happy living his life. He is a gay man but so was our great uncle.
thankfully help wasn't available? at least the science denialists your age are starting to expire, world will become a better place for people like your brother
@@RM-xr8lqHe wasn’t trans. Just gay. To you “help” means changing his gender? He suffered sexual trauma like most of these kids have. He didn’t need sex reassignment surgery.
This is a great documentary, very compelling and eye opening.
These early years of our lives will be the hardest with an explorer, but not all of us will go through it, but some of us do I will come out stronger than before ❤
"deciding to live as a girl" dude its not a choice
THANK YOU- drives me nuts when cis people do this
there's a difference between deciding to live *openly* as transgender (as in presenting with the gender you identify with) and 'deciding' to be trans... the first is a decision, the second obviously isn't a choice. You're misinterpreting that statement, it isn't transphobic. She *decided* to come out.
That is right but there’s a difference between being trans which you don’t choose, and choosing to transition, not every trans person wants to transition
I think there's confusion about trans-people. I don't know any trans-persons who says that they're able to/changing their assigned sex at birth.
They are their GENDER. Sex, gender, and gender expression are three separate things.
I know it's hard to wrap your mind around if you don't experience it personally.
@@boinkadoinkk !! yes
GenX clearly FAILED epically as parents
So many of their parents also failed them. What do you expect?
I am now 61. I felt like I have been in the wrong body since I was about 5 or 6. Way back in the mid 1960's.
I have lived my whole life secretly wanting to be the opposite of what I am.
I really wish this was known about back then. My parents didn't even know....
You're never too old to transition
At 52, I spend so much time watching others live their truth. From what I hear it is never too late.
Yesss, it’s never too late!!!
It took me 30+ years to be comfortable with the "woman" and she/her labels. I only just began carrying a purse but before it was such an odd experience, I just couldn't do it, and as a teen and young adult I'd tell my friends it just felt too feminine, too icky and wrong. I wore boys shirts and baggy saggy jeans in highschool, and I will never wear a dress, EVER. Plus, I've always been a tall 6ft and thin person, who stood out and received very strange attention from men even as an adolescent. Those are only a few examples, but I just want to share in case others feel the same. like the OP, you've helped me understand myself better and I hope maybe I could help others know they're not alone. I have no family or anyone to talk to, because I still don't fit in in my small church filled town. I had one of the first outted relationship with a woman in my town, and being considered a lesbian never fit who I felt I was either. I'm 42 now and I don't know if I've finally submitted to being she/her, but the they/them or even he/him pronouns really hit home when this all started being spoken about openly... I have physical disabilities that prevents me from moving, but I believe if I was able to escape back then, I'd have become exactly who I felt I've always. I suppose I am grateful that I've found a sense of peace in my female body given all the the issues it has...but I've wanted a hysterectomy my entire life, and it may be coming soon given my ailments. Doctors have denied me for 20 years thinking it'd cause more problems. I think maybe I'll actually feel comfortable inside my body 🙏🤞 there's a lot more to my story, and I'd love to hear others if anyone feels the need to share...I'm here ☮️
Can I ask, have you ever experienced any abuse or trauma?
To me I think Matt is a boy but he feels not accepted by his family. There’s such a change when he’s at school he seems more confident and more smiley and it really sucks that everyone keeps calling him she and his birth name and he seems less comfortable
I’m glad that they stopped misgendering him in the narration and in the clinic
I hope Ashley and Matt are doing amazing and living their best lives 💛
Just from what I’ve observed in life and on social media, there seems to be a strong positive correlation between autism and identity disturbance.
We don't know what it means to be human, and this is why our society is so obsessed with gender identity. When we finally define our place in existence, this gender confusion nonsense will come to an end. What does it mean to be human.? What is the destiny of human kind? Can the human brain understand how the Universe works? Is the Universe logical? Is the human brain the end-point of evolution? When we answer those questions, everything will fall into place, our identity will be DEFINED.
I think I read somewhere, autistic individuals (specifically AFAB?) are 30% more likely to experience gender dysphoria than non autistic individuals.
I’m AFAB and autistic and identify as Nonbinary.
I think there have been a few studies on this correlation. It was originally pretty casual but it's starting to show a stronger link between the two.
The brick drawing is actually almost an exact comic drawn in the diary of a wimpy kid book.... Matt could have read that and thought it was funny and drawn it himself.
I feel like people have forgotten the term “faze” like hello we all went through them as adolescents. I do feel for these kids obviously but it’s not uncommon it’s called getting to know urself!
*phase. I understand what you’re trying to say about how kids express themselves, but some do experience extreme distress living as their birth sex which does not align with their brains and gender identity. Some kids grow out of it when they’re older, some don’t, and having freedom to get to know themselves helps them understand who they are.
I love the fact that in the UK, they explore, even ask the question, why is there a link between autistic traits/autism and gender dysphoria. I get the impression that here in the US, it's this huge taboo, that if you do talk about that, you're hateful, bigoted, etc, etc. The people on this documentary have so much more of a balanced approach.
I feel like the US is so broken and messed up, and that we're hurting our kids by not asking the questions, not looking into why puberty blockers are harming kids (by making them steril). What is wrong with us?
I'm 34. This was never talked about but being that I'm from a socially liberal background there was always a tone of acceptance in my family which was radical during my youth.
My cis het 11 year old son has a trans/enby (they haven't decided or figured it out for themselves yet) in his class. I asked him about that, whether there was a member of the "lgbtequnity" as we say, in his school and how everyone is about it. He says it's not a big deal, that sometimes the gender thing is confusing but there's no malice in any of it. We live in South Carolina. There's still "white flight" schools here. But I think these kids are going to be alright. Even the ones with bigoted parents aren't falling into that mindset of "othering"
It's quite radical, really. Bless these kids, we don't deserve them.
When the mom said, "right we've got to move then" I felt that! We're navigating uncharted waters. She should be proud of herself as a mother for immediately considering that.
But...if my son even at 11 came home and told me he had kissed a boy or girl we'd have a real showdown. I don't care what your gender or sexuality is, child, you will have none of that so soon. Be a child! It'll be hard enough soon enough without all of that mess.
Nobody here is a professional, but everyone has so much advice for the kids and the parents. To be fair, nobody can really say anything, because unless you're a medical professional, a psych, or are trans yourself, you don't fully understand the situations.
I bet you're trans.
Even a Lot of so called „professionals“ are making a lot of mistakes.
Or what do you think why the Tavistock clinic is shut down now???
That's what I have been saying, if you don't understand it from experience, or a professional, just shh lol
why are they making it out to be such a big problem that ash doesn’t want to come out? i would understand if she has a partner why it would be necessary to tell that person. but why does she have to tell all her peers? it doesn’t matter that much. she can do it on her own time
School is already hard when you're cis, imagine when everyone knows you're trans at that age...
Im very happy that I was born in the 90ths, we weren't yet exposed to media etc. I didn't even think on gender in a young age I was busy playing and making tree houses. When I got older I started to think of it but not before the age of 15. The youngster's today it's just too stressful.. They feel forced to grow up so fast and be adult before they even learned how to count. You should look like this be like that act like this. NO they supposed to be kids and not care but society made them all lose that and it's so freaking sad
When you have autism you really want to be able to fit in but don't understand why you don't and will try whatever just to have friends i thought I might be a boy when I was younger but I'm happy I didn't go through a transition because it would have been the wrong choice I don't know how we could make sure that the people who are trans are able to get the help they need without people who aren't but show signs that could be seen as trans getting hurt it's a very difficult situation
That’s not just autism, that’s everyone. I have autism too but I never experienced gender dysmorphia whereas I have a friend who is neurotypical but went through a phase were she thought she was trans but it turned out she was actually cis. There are things in place to help trans people while also helping people who think they could be trans but it turns out their not. Kids are only allowed on hormone blockers which only delays puberty and has no long term affects. As soon as you go off hormone blockers the kid experiences a normal puberty. Hormone blockers were actually originally used for kids who had an early puberty so they would use hormone blockers until they were at a regular age and then could have a normal puberty but hormone blockers are good for trans kids too. Hormone blockers also stop things like periods and things temporarily if you have already developed that stuff. Once someone is 18 (this is the age limit in most countries) they can start taking hormones. But getting hormones isn’t easy. The person has to be assessed by qualified psychologists and prove that they are transgender and they fully understand the affects of taking hormones. If the doctor believes there is the smallest chance the person is not ready then they will not allow that person to start taking hormones.
The important thing is allowing kids to explore their identity while they’re still young when there aren’t many consequences. Allow them to try out different identities if they want to until they find one that matches them. Sometimes they come back to their assigned gender at birth, sometimes they find something new that resonates with them. The important thing to remember is you need to support in all ways. I think there’s a problem of people come out and then realise they aren’t trans but are too scared to come out as wrong. So it’s also important to support people in anyways. It’s important to enforce it’s ok to identify as any gender and it’s ok if they don’t know what they identify as. To take time and really explore different identities if needed.
Everyone should be taking Matt's communication seriously. There was absolutely no reason for them to dismiss and not take him seriously just because he is autistic. They were so abliest saying he refuses to talk. No, it's called selective mutism and it's not a choice. There is plenty of evidence he is trans.
My heart goes out to all the families being confronted with these issues. You are all stronger than I could ever be. I genuinely hope that all of you prosper and live the lives that you so desire. Just know that there are many of us out here supporting you!
Also to ash’s mom it’s actually not uncommon for boys to feel “lumps” in their breasts during the onset of puberty and early days of puberty. It’s actually fairly common and I remember my doctor discussing it with me. Many young boys breasts actually feel quite tender. So she may actually be feeling something or maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Typically later in puberty they go away. But I think ash will be fine if given puberty blockers and then transitional hormone therapy. It seems like her mind and heart is made up.
She's too young to have her mind made up.
@@constancemccoy6931 100 percent agree
for an endocrine “specialist” he got two MASSIVE things wrong. starting blockers at 11/12 means that all changes are almost completely reversible if they were to stop talking them, they would resume regular puberty. and secondly, going on hormones does not render the person infertile. - like seriously for a “specialist” those are two really big things to get wrong
@Kira Eulalia i mean i do lol i’ve been on blockers & currently on testosterone so like i’m not just pulling stuff out of my ass
Everyone saying that the mother is so supportive and he’s lucky to have her .. no this is a perfect example of negative enabling . The mother crosses boundaries she should not cross , she obviously has not educated herself with all this and that is the worst thing a parent can do . I know most parents are in denial or think it’s a phase or think they are helping by just supporting their child by giving into everything cause the parents don’t know cause they are afraid to reach out for help and take care of themselves . Just as much as it is for the child , the parent needs therapy and guidance and support too .
In today's culture, happiness is the main goal in life...whether or not it's detrimental. This supposed "support" will lead to broken adults once they find out that all the chemicals and surgical intervention doesn't eliminate their dysphoria. It's questionable that most of these kids are on the spectrum, yet these so-called professionals don't seem to make that connection.
Which kid and mum are you talking about?
@@chigasaki06 1. the connection had been made 2. ive heard of thousands of trans people who are in their 30s/40s that have had surgical intervention and hormones for years and they are fine, and 3 i havent met anyone who has become a broken person purely becuase they took hrt
@@0oshyg0oshy86 So, you are the authority...okay.
@@chigasaki06 yes I am indeed the authority as I am trans myself and am quoting peer reviewed research
Matt/Tilly had the choice of little girl, tomboy, or boy. Where was the girl? What does a boy or girl mean to these children? Do some think boys and girls *do* different things?
Those are great questions that are rarely asked in such situations. Which in return one of the main reasons why the whole gender identity thing is getting out of control.
@@s.f6851 they are asked. Doctors don’t just throw out surgeries and hormones to kids. Even getting hormones as an adult takes at least a year of therapy and other interventions by many doctors like shown in this video before ANY procedures are approved.
Also- FYI- science and factual statistics prove you’re wrong. Just because you CHOOSE to be uneducated on subjects in 2022 is your own problem , not anyone else’s. You clearly have enough access to the internet to properly educate yourself ((this doesn’t mean look at articles that aren’t reputable and just support your non factual ideals))
It's all based on regressive sexist stereotypes. If a boy likes sparkly clothes, or a girl likes playing with trucks, they need to be administered drugs to correct this obvious disorder. It's child abuse.
The whole story Matt had is the way he expresses how he sees his life. His transition story. How is this hard for you to understand?
is tthere going to be a follow up episode?
:)
Hopefully in 20 years.
@@jojobee42 exactly! That is the one I am waiting for!
So sorry that all these folk have had to go through these difficult decisions..and deal with everyone s opinions and bullys...my prayers .....
This has to be so hard … Im working in the psychiatric ward…. Alot of patients with this kind of problem often has some other problems like autism, ptsd or depression….
Sad to see people struggeling with this…
Terrifying to see how phsycology has stooped this low. Not like it was anu better before this.
First of all, ASH, that is NOT how you use a beauty blender
Lmao. With all these very serious comments it was nice to see something a bit more light hearted. Everyone else is just arguing.
@@rachelcookie321 lmao ikr.
ash whipping and naenaeing at the end is so funny omg
Dang I wish I had something to help me with my dysphoria. In the us you just get told it’s not real and it’s just a phase. I don’t feel like anything, like I don’t wanna be a boy or a girl, I just want to be, nothing. And I hate how every time I tell my parents, or an adult, they just tell me “oh you’re confused honey. You’re a girl. You’re just going though a phase.” I’m not. And it sucks everyone thinks that :/
That’s ridiculous. Just do what you want and forget about the labels.
@@maddif710 its unfortunately not that easy
@@maddif710 I know everyone says that, but honestly it’s hard to do that when everyone around you labels you as either a boy, or a girl.
so no one is talking about the fact that just because Matt isnt nuerotypical, no on believes him? Because that whole thing was a bullshit excuse and just because he is on the spectrum, doesnt mean he doesnt know whats going on. So that whole thing probably made him feel worse about himself.
yeah exactly
Ash's problem is her parent doesn't parent. Never has. Imagine picking up the whole family and moving because your kid said they wanted to, then picking up the whole family and moving AGAIN because your kid changed their mind. Outrageous. Part of life is learning to deal with hardships, you can't run away. Not to mention letting her wear HEAVY makeup, have internet on her cell phone at SEVEN, and letting her have a boyfriend. Ridiculous. My mom would've taken the belt to my backside if I did half of this. I understand she's depressed and got mental issues, but that's what therapy is for. She needs tools to cope with her unique situation, not coddling. Mom need higher EQ in order to help her daughter.
yeah i think instead of moving away she could’ve moved to a different school or homeschooled for a bit i don’t think she understands how she might’ve affected her other children
I remember when people would say the movies and the video games are influencing the kids to violence. Now it's the adults that are doing the influencing. They're putting in the doubt if they're a boy or a girl into their young, immature, en experience minds? Some even feel different about their decision when the mature but it's too late. Stop it people and let the kids be kids.
That boy saying she can have (carry) a baby.. why do they straight up tell them NO you cant …
Want to see a follow-up in 10 years please.
Me too. At least one of these kids may have changed the way they identify. Children change as they grow up.
Ashley whether girl or boy is already acting like the adult narcissistic bully who wants to control everyone around them
Oh my !!!!! I do not know what to say!!!! I thaught 11 years, 9, 8 and 7 years old are playing etc. Etc. Really its incredable!!!!@
How many of the children have had molestation, abuse, rape, etc.
Start there and help them, please.
😢💕🙏🏼
This is a valid concern for a tiny percent of people. I heard one young lady say if they would have asked about it and helped her she would not have later de transitioned or for that matter, ever transitioned and this hurts the transgender community. This however is not a big percentage at all. When someone is born, they identify with the gender assigned at birth so much more than not. But when you are a tiny child, 2 or so, and you are telling anyone who will listen that you are in fact not a boy or not a girl, these children are valid and need to be respected and listened to also.
This is true
@@KandiAnne84 no most of you are like that
@@KandiAnne84 Okay and what data are you citing that shows it is a tint percentage of the population? Gender dysphoric children are also a tiny percent so what's the argument? Many children are subjected to sexual abuse in this sick world, and some use fold as comfort and hide their bodies with fat, others become anorexic hoping to disappear, others get lost in drugs to forget, and you don't want to entertain the idea that some may have shame surrounding their sex class or genitalia after abuse and want to escape by becoming someone else? I've listened to the stories of many trans people including detransitioners- which isn't such a small number as like to say for their political purposes, and it seems a disproportionately high number have had some sort of sexual abuse in their childhoods.
@@possumfriend2335 I have questions about how big or small that percentage is also. However, I don't agree with the supposition that child sexual abuse results in gender dysphoria. Considering how common abuse has become these days, you can't say that cause - abuse = effect - trans. There are likely as many people who have been abused who aren't trans, if not more. Myself and both my sisters were all abused as children. None of us are trans.
Genuine questions here:
1.) if "gender" is fluid, why do we, as mammals, have physical sex characteristics that are divided into either male or female (penis/vagina, etc)?
2.) since people aren't considered old enough to go to college, vote, drink, join the military, or drive until they're in their late teens/early 20s, how are they considered mentally mature enough to make such a life-changing medical decision as this? Why not wait until they're past the age when people often go through phases?
3.) there are mental conditions, such as eating disorders, that make peoples' perception of their bodies different from reality; why isn't gender dysphoria treated solely as a mental condition? Why are healthy bodies surgically and chemically altered to try and suit a mind, instead of just treating the mind?
1. Google is your friend. Sex and gender are different. Male and female also don't equal penis and vagina. There are multiple sex characteristics that make up biological sex. Sex is a collection of these characteristics, not just one of them. Multiple psychological and biological professionals agree that sex and gender are separate. That's why gender is fluid and even sex is to a degree. Intersex. Before you say it's a rare medical condition, so is red hair. But we still recognize it as one of the hair colours.
2. Because children aren't offing themselves because they're too young to go to college. Vote. Drink. Join the military. Also two of those are literally going to kill you. Identifying as the opposite gender from your sex is not going to kill you. I started my transition when I was 18. From what to what, I'll let you guess. Just know my user is a screen name. Trans gender people will attempt sui if not given the proper treatment. And I'm not talking surgery and hormones. I'm talking simple support like blockers (which are completely reversible!), going by a different name (which some cis people do) , and going by different pronouns (ALSO REVERSIBLE)
3. It is. But unlike other medical conditions...it's only treated through transitioning because you cannot reverse the brains gender to match the bodies sex. You can only alter the body to match the brain as well as possible. And only some transgender people need to transition. Others just need therapy and they're happy. My friend Jay is transgender. Diagnosed with gender dysphoria. They only need therapy to treat it though. Their boyfriend, Devon, does need to medically transition. He's on hormones and likely has already gotten his first surgery.
Hormone treatment doesn't always make someone infertile, though stopping puberty before it starts and taking hormones will definitly cause infertility. If puberty isn't stoped it's called first puberty and the first year or two of starting hormone treatment is called second puberty. If a trans person wants to have kids they might not even need to pause their hormones.
But there are so many other factors besides fertility such as excessive body hair, muscle density, voice change…
Man I don't even want kids, so even if that was true, it wouldn't matter for ME.
Usually trans people will adopt anyway, which is a great opinion as many children need to be adopted :)
There are a lot of negativ side effects from puberty blockers - and the science even has started to identify them all!!!
At least if you want to have a bottom surgery later (from male to female) you need to have a fully developed p*nis to make a neovag*na…..
That‘s what a lot of people don‘t think about!!!
These parents are doing the right thing. I came out as a girl when I was 12, and now I’m a 20 year old woman. Coming out and stopping male puberty really helped me and my gender dysphoria since I didn’t have to put up with a deep voice, masculine rough features, Adam’s apple, beard etc. Forever grateful for my parents
Kids can be trans, and the earlier the better, since it can prevent irreversible cisgendered puberty that trans people find traumatising. That’s the real damage
As a mom of a trans daughter I agree the sooner they transition the more lilely they will "pass" BUT there has to be better testing and evaluations to stop all the de-transitionings. Our youth deserves better.
@@saladsshooter5744 you’re doing the right thing :), don’t let people tell you otherwise, take it from me I’m an adult now and I’m 100% female forever
Oh so you can enjoy being a girl and wearing girls clothing and makeup, but did you have to deal with the pains of menstruation, worrying about bleeding through your clothing and everyone in school sees it?
@@catslove3884 no and I’m very lucky I don’t have my period. Mensuration isn’t a deal breaker to being a woman. Some women have uterus issues and they can’t get their period, some women have hysterectomies, some women are in menopause, some women don’t have vags, some women are infertile
Menstruate is just one part of being a woman, and if you don’t menstruate that doesn’t mean you’re not a woman. It’s such a stupid argument against trans people. What’s with the hate? We aren’t hurting you, just mind your business about what I do to my body, and what these children want to do with their bodies. It’s not just about you
@@SimPilotMika As usual I was rude and not thinking. It is just that it annoys me when someone crossdresses which is enjoying the priviledge of being a female without the pains. I bled excessively for 45 years and do not wish it on anyone. If someone becomes a woman and does not have to go through what I did, you are dang fortunate.
excellent doc! Thank you.
Excellent production. Thanksgiving for education in such a sensitive and creative style.
I don't get why Ash's mother (and others it seems) are pushing so hard for her to tell that she was born a boy, why do the kids at her new school have to know that? When you have started a transition you are transitioning to another gender, trans is not a gender, few things are so stressful for many adults who have transitioned as being pushed to tell about this very personal thing, all they want to do is passing as their actual gender and when you have told that you were born another gender, you can no longer pass. It is humiliating, deeply personal and exceptionally invasive. People born intersex are not expected to tell the world how they look between their legs or hormonal change they may have, no cis person is expected to either, so why would a person who's going through a transition? It's ONLY relevant if you are going to date. Leave her alone and let her find herself, damn this is hard to watch.
ikr i was thinking that as well
I found it hard to watch too. I have puzzled over my sexual orientation since I was ash’s age and I’ve never really felt like a girl. I’m only starting to be really open about these things now in my 30s. I understand she needs to tell her doctors to get access to treatment. And I understand safety and telling partners. But telling all your friends is a personal choice.
For the exact reason the person on here stated when it was mentioned an 8 year old boy, kissed this child on the lips thinking he was a girl. That’s not right or fair to be deceived in that way, that could then damage their mental health. First off these children shouldn’t even be thinking that way yet, but if you are going to portray yourself however you wish to, the other person has the right to know or you should not be allowing such things to happen. If he doesn’t learn this now, he will live a deceptive life that could end up getting someone physically hurt or worse. It’s already happened.
I’m uncomfortable in my body too. Sometimes I feel too ugly to go out in public and when I think about interviewing for a job, I think who the heck would hire me? Because I feel so old and ugly. I think many of us have a body that doesn’t match our personality. Anyway, I have nothing but love for these kids and people going through this. I wish everyone could change as easily as picking a “skin” on Fortnite.
❤
It is curious to see how children who live in rural areas and have a balance between real and virtual life do not demonstrate this self-destructive behavior. As I heard someone say the other day, many of these symptoms are started (or stimulated) by videos on social media, like the Blue Whale Challenge a few years ago.
Kids should be kids and be kids :(
you can't be happy and play with friends and do normal kid things when you know something is wrong and its effecting you. I had an awful childhood because I couldn't transition when I was a kid I didn't even know what being trans was I just knew I wasn't what people were telling me I was supposed to be. If I were to be able to transitions when I was younger I'd have a better life and wouldn't have the same issues I do now. This girl is fortunate and I'm very happy for her.
Egg Zactly ❗
I grew up in the 70’s, I wish they knew more about being trans like they do now. I definitely would have gone from female to male. I’m 57 now.
now i cannot really say anything because i am a teenager in this situation but i want you to know that its never too late to start expressing urself authentically how you want and to be who you truly are :)
@@lazz05 thank you for this
@@furbabiesarefamilytoo yes ofc, everyone of all ages deserves to feel the happiness of being their true selves the best way they can do it.
@@lazz05 in your case, you're following a trend. Being trans is the in thing now
Where I work there is an older gentleman man probably in his late 40s and he is Trans
*You don't realize the struggles these poor kiddos and parents deal with with things like this and hearing mom explain how her daughter was excited about a boy kissing her and worrying about his other parents would feel if they knew.... that's gotta be tough! And I can't say I can understand bc in not in that situation, I hope these parents just stay strong and just let their kiddos live their lives for who they truly feel they are! When they're younger, in sure that's easier with some situations bc when the hormones kick in, that's a whole other level they'll have to worry about! It's a scary thought putting young kids on such medications... but it's even scarier if they're suicidal due to the stressful parts of these situations so you gotta weigh the options and just do what you can for the best of your child! The heck with the judgmental ppl in society.... power and strength come from accepting your reality and standing up for what's best for your loved ones!! And it's super important to explain to our kids about bullying and why kids/ ppl bully.... bc they sadly are struggling with hatred in themselves and it has nothing to do with anyone besides them!! So teach your kiddos to be the better ppl and not to give hate back to bullies! I always told my son "you never know what other kids are dealing with so so what you can to be nice bc you just might be the only nice kiddo to one of those mean kids"! It's really tough when they're young and don't understand!!*
This is really good! It get's across things that a lot of other documentaries doesn't. The only thing is, at the start like with the intro they showed kind of fresh self harm wounds which can be very triggering.
This is a nightmare. For all involved. Unbelievable. All of these parents and children need counseling and a lot of it. I feel for them all.
completely agree. What's just as troubling is the amount of people applauding this behavior and not taking just a split second to try and understand the amount of damage being done to the vulnerable children. The whole world has lost its mind,its disgusting what's acceptable these days.
@@kimhancock5965 yes ma'am.
@@kimhancock5965 This is definitely super toxic, it’s not the best representation, however the fact of the matter still stands, transgender kids need to be recognized more.
@@kimhancock5965 I don't know what you believe, but forcing trans kids to live as the gender they don't want to is wrong. Some parents KICK out their child out of the house for being trans, gay, whatever.
Do you support gay people? Bisexual people? Just asking.
I honestly feel bad for Matt. Like he made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to be a girl. And it honestly seems like the reason he doesn't want to talk about it is because of what hes scaredof his mothers reaction. As a person that is technically trans I honestly feel bad for him because hes made it fairly obvious he wants to be a boy not a girl, but is just about constantly being invalidated and scared to speak up and tell his mother due to the autism spectrum disorder. (For clarification in no way am I saying having autism or ASD is bad in anyway.)
I hope Ash didn't start getting bullied after this came out
I was the last of 4 born in 1964. Both parents worked got divorced. I told my mother at 19 years old I'm depressed. She said get up out of bed and snap out of it, and walked away. Thank God when I was 24 Prozac was prescribed and saved my life. I'm still on medication at 60 years old. I was a hairdresser then a teaching asst later in my 40s. I joined a church found great friends. Bottom line is parent has to listen to their children.