About the second story, I personally think that if the partner can't heal and forgive OP, it doesn't mean he isn't mature enough. Cheating hurts and scars people in different ways, some people can forgive and move on, but most can't, it doesn't make someone not emotionally mature enough, just that the partner who cheated broke something that can't be fixed anymore.
With the first story in mind about the goodbye letter. Do not feel guilty about saying no to the note. We have my brothers notes. He wrote two. And neither makes any sense. I’ve read them countless times and it doesn’t help the pain or the confusion. Jerry’s advice of writing down stories about their dad is perfect! She said, “that was not him on that day” and I feel that. They are not themselves when they make that decision. Keep that in mind every day. Keep his memory alive by telling his stories. And when the time comes yes they will ask what happened and why but you can honestly say, “I don’t really know what happened or why. But I do know he loved you both so very much.”
The girl who cheated: DO NOT message Greg. When and if your bf finds out, this would be the lowest blow. Not only did you cheat but then conspired with Greg. I feel for you, I've been on both ends of this type of situation. Be prepared for your boyfriend to leave you, some people refuse to forgive a cheater and that's their right to choose. Sounds like you got swindled by Greg. I know the type, he just wants his D wet. That's exactly what happened to me and my bf left me. Regardless, it was still my fault. It hurt but I really learned something from it all and I am wiser now. Hugs for you.
For the dad that died I would suggest making a memory box for the kids, that's what we got when my dad died. You could put anything in it, drawings they did as kids for their dad, photographs. Any of his old items etc. My dad wrote us all notes and I still have them but I can't bring myself to look at them. Memory box is a great thing to have even if it's things they put in it now, their feelings etc.
For the first story, as a child of someone who did the same as their father, getting rid of the letter is absolutely the right call. There are things as a kid you don't need to know or see from your parents. This letter is not something they need to see. While I appreciate the idea of the 'right to know,' from someone who's seen things like that, it makes it hurt worse. If they really ask or push on it, you can talk about it, but truthfully, I believe them seeing it isn't what they need to see.
I have a similar situation to the first story. I ended things with my son's bio father when I was 5 months pregnant (he was abusive, addicted to hard drugs, stole from everyone including me, ect). I only had one photo with us together where you can see he's holding my belly. In the emotions of everything happening (I had to get a no contact order for safety) I deleted all our photos. I wish I at least kept the one with him holding my belly so I could explain to my son that he was wanted by his bio father but he just had issues that made it unsafe to be around. My son has an amazing stepdad that has been around since he was 1 and a half (he'll be 5 right before Christmas this year). I did end up finding some of us together but I can't get back the one photo I really wish I had for my son. I honestly don't think my son will ever end up meeting his bio father, his been in and out of jail for all this time and he's never tried to go through court to see his son even though he's tried bugging his mom and my family members about wanting to see him.
From a married woman who has survived the early immaturity in our relationship I can agree, if you both grow and mature it can build into the happiest, strongest relationship. It’s all about whether both individuals are willing to support each other and really focus on the peace and partnership. Sometimes people aren’t ready though and that’s when you break it off to grow in other ways. It’s very situational
my ex and i just broke up because of this issue.. i’m hoping he takes time to mature and realize that our relationship has such a great and strong foundation to make it work in the future
To the girl who’s male friend keeps blocking her: Stop being friends with him. He’s a bad friend. I know you care about and love him but I’m sorry to say that someone who does this is a bad friend. To fall away is natural in life but to block and unblock is toxic. You deserve a better friend.
To The Creating Girl: Your boyfriend deserves the right to truth. This isn’t about you and this isn’t about you not wanting to lose him. You broke the trust and you broke the relationship. If you ever loved him at all then tell him the truth. He deserves the truth and you deserve the consequences.
Op needs to give her bf the ability to choose. Whether he wants to continue the relationship or end the relationship. By not telling him she’s taking that away and controlling the narrative. If he chooses to continue the relationship then they should go to couples therapy to figure out what’s going on in their relationship. If bf chooses to leave then she needs to accept that and work on herself.
I agree. Especially because it's already been 3 months. That's 3 months of their boyfriends time wasted. They clearly dont truly love him if they dont care about his time and feelings. If you love someone you want them to be happy. Not trap them and lie to them. I can't believe the way they worded their story, they really were just going to try to bury it. Despicable.
op might love the idea of being with a partner. She could truly love him but it poses questions like, “ if you truly love someone, why would you do something to hurt the person you claim to love? Did you think of your partner in the mist of cheating? Etc.” We don’t know🤷🏽♀️ i don’t feel bad for op but I do feel that if she truly wanted to save this relationship she would have bit the bullet and told him from the jump(day the cheating happened/day after cheating happened).
Does the current boyfriend know that she had slept with Greg before? I suspect no. Because the boyfriend is friends with him on IG. Greg hasn’t said anything before. I suspect she’s lied to her bf all these years about Greg.
17:22 i honestly i feel like: -she needs to be honest, own up to what she did - Let him decide if he wants to continue that relationship... ... - if he finds out later and realized she never said anything its going to hurt him and definitely you if you love someone really you would do whats best ... not whats best for you. i mean this with love and kindness....
To the first story, my father took his life when i was 6 years old. I am now 27. What was so hard about the whole experience was that i knew that he killdes himself but did not know and still dont know why. My mother did not talk about him and still doesent. That silence has shaped our whole relationship and i would not discribe it as good. The family of my father also was and is silent on that matter. he does not come up in conversation and because of this, i do not feel comftable asking questions. so from my experience, you made a choice to throw the letter away. maybe it was a good choice maybe not. But what counts going forward is talking about him as a person. what he was like and why you loved him. your story together. Let your children knwo their father through those. do not be silent. tell them , when they are old enough why you choose to not keep the letter.
For the first story, She’s doing the right thing. There’s no way they wont understand the gravity mental health and suicide when their dad literally committed suicide. I dont think they’ll gain anything from. Maybe when they’re older maybe not
Jerry gives such good advice... what a wise, kind man
About the second story, I personally think that if the partner can't heal and forgive OP, it doesn't mean he isn't mature enough. Cheating hurts and scars people in different ways, some people can forgive and move on, but most can't, it doesn't make someone not emotionally mature enough, just that the partner who cheated broke something that can't be fixed anymore.
This makes a great point. I think alot of people don't know how to feel about cheating until someone they loved did it to them.
With the first story in mind about the goodbye letter. Do not feel guilty about saying no to the note. We have my brothers notes. He wrote two. And neither makes any sense. I’ve read them countless times and it doesn’t help the pain or the confusion. Jerry’s advice of writing down stories about their dad is perfect! She said, “that was not him on that day” and I feel that. They are not themselves when they make that decision. Keep that in mind every day. Keep his memory alive by telling his stories. And when the time comes yes they will ask what happened and why but you can honestly say, “I don’t really know what happened or why. But I do know he loved you both so very much.”
The girl who cheated: DO NOT message Greg. When and if your bf finds out, this would be the lowest blow. Not only did you cheat but then conspired with Greg. I feel for you, I've been on both ends of this type of situation. Be prepared for your boyfriend to leave you, some people refuse to forgive a cheater and that's their right to choose. Sounds like you got swindled by Greg. I know the type, he just wants his D wet. That's exactly what happened to me and my bf left me. Regardless, it was still my fault. It hurt but I really learned something from it all and I am wiser now. Hugs for you.
100% agree
For the dad that died I would suggest making a memory box for the kids, that's what we got when my dad died. You could put anything in it, drawings they did as kids for their dad, photographs. Any of his old items etc. My dad wrote us all notes and I still have them but I can't bring myself to look at them. Memory box is a great thing to have even if it's things they put in it now, their feelings etc.
For the first story, as a child of someone who did the same as their father, getting rid of the letter is absolutely the right call. There are things as a kid you don't need to know or see from your parents. This letter is not something they need to see. While I appreciate the idea of the 'right to know,' from someone who's seen things like that, it makes it hurt worse. If they really ask or push on it, you can talk about it, but truthfully, I believe them seeing it isn't what they need to see.
I have a similar situation to the first story. I ended things with my son's bio father when I was 5 months pregnant (he was abusive, addicted to hard drugs, stole from everyone including me, ect). I only had one photo with us together where you can see he's holding my belly. In the emotions of everything happening (I had to get a no contact order for safety) I deleted all our photos. I wish I at least kept the one with him holding my belly so I could explain to my son that he was wanted by his bio father but he just had issues that made it unsafe to be around. My son has an amazing stepdad that has been around since he was 1 and a half (he'll be 5 right before Christmas this year). I did end up finding some of us together but I can't get back the one photo I really wish I had for my son. I honestly don't think my son will ever end up meeting his bio father, his been in and out of jail for all this time and he's never tried to go through court to see his son even though he's tried bugging his mom and my family members about wanting to see him.
get someone to do a rendition of it? give them a pic of ur ex and u and the can draw u or digitally create a photo like that....just an idea.
From a married woman who has survived the early immaturity in our relationship I can agree, if you both grow and mature it can build into the happiest, strongest relationship. It’s all about whether both individuals are willing to support each other and really focus on the peace and partnership. Sometimes people aren’t ready though and that’s when you break it off to grow in other ways. It’s very situational
my ex and i just broke up because of this issue.. i’m hoping he takes time to mature and realize that our relationship has such a great and strong foundation to make it work in the future
To the girl who’s male friend keeps blocking her: Stop being friends with him. He’s a bad friend. I know you care about and love him but I’m sorry to say that someone who does this is a bad friend. To fall away is natural in life but to block and unblock is toxic. You deserve a better friend.
A new video gives me such peace and makes me feel like I have a father figure who cares and helps my mental health so much. I really want to write in
Thanks for letting me know that. I’m glad I’m here for you
To The Creating Girl: Your boyfriend deserves the right to truth. This isn’t about you and this isn’t about you not wanting to lose him. You broke the trust and you broke the relationship. If you ever loved him at all then tell him the truth. He deserves the truth and you deserve the consequences.
Op needs to give her bf the ability to choose. Whether he wants to continue the relationship or end the relationship. By not telling him she’s taking that away and controlling the narrative. If he chooses to continue the relationship then they should go to couples therapy to figure out what’s going on in their relationship. If bf chooses to leave then she needs to accept that and work on herself.
I agree. Especially because it's already been 3 months. That's 3 months of their boyfriends time wasted. They clearly dont truly love him if they dont care about his time and feelings.
If you love someone you want them to be happy. Not trap them and lie to them. I can't believe the way they worded their story, they really were just going to try to bury it. Despicable.
op might love the idea of being with a partner. She could truly love him but it poses questions like, “ if you truly love someone, why would you do something to hurt the person you claim to love? Did you think of your partner in the mist of cheating? Etc.” We don’t know🤷🏽♀️ i don’t feel bad for op but I do feel that if she truly wanted to save this relationship she would have bit the bullet and told him from the jump(day the cheating happened/day after cheating happened).
@@spaceinveda7408 very despicable like how are you gonna screw someone over and feel sad for yourself ?? The math is not mathin 😂😂
Jerry is such a wonderful father figure. My fiancé and I both love your videos!
Does the current boyfriend know that she had slept with Greg before? I suspect no. Because the boyfriend is friends with him on IG. Greg hasn’t said anything before. I suspect she’s lied to her bf all these years about Greg.
I love Jerry’s glasses so much 😭
Clic Readers…I love them too
wow i opened my youtube app at the perfect time. love you guys!!!
This episode is very insightful for me because I have a blended family and I am in a transnational marriage. Thank you so much Jerry and Justin. ☺️
17:22
i honestly i feel like:
-she needs to be honest, own up to what she did
- Let him decide if he wants to continue that relationship... ...
- if he finds out later and realized she never said anything its going to hurt him and definitely you
if you love someone really you would do whats best ... not whats best for you.
i mean this with love and kindness....
To the first story,
my father took his life when i was 6 years old. I am now 27. What was so hard about the whole experience was that i knew that he killdes himself but did not know and still dont know why. My mother did not talk about him and still doesent. That silence has shaped our whole relationship and i would not discribe it as good. The family of my father also was and is silent on that matter. he does not come up in conversation and because of this, i do not feel comftable asking questions.
so from my experience, you made a choice to throw the letter away. maybe it was a good choice maybe not. But what counts going forward is talking about him as a person. what he was like and why you loved him. your story together. Let your children knwo their father through those. do not be silent. tell them , when they are old enough why you choose to not keep the letter.
When you get in the car and see theres a new upload. WOOT WOOT
and there’s my happiness dose for the day! 💖
Love this podcast:) such soothing voices
Whooooohooo! Day has been made 😁
For the first story, She’s doing the right thing. There’s no way they wont understand the gravity mental health and suicide when their dad literally committed suicide. I dont think they’ll gain anything from. Maybe when they’re older maybe not
I always want to write in but I never know what to ask for advice about… love you guys!
Also I have reusable SF Giants cups like Jerry’s dodgers cup🤗
I wish Jerry was my dad lol I don't have one I'm my life but if I did I'd love him to be like Jerry 😄