I'm 64, and I saved a lot of money while having SO much fun, simply because it was less expensive in the 1970s/1980s to have fun. My friends and I would go out dancing before the bar's cover charge kicked in at whatever time, dance all night, grab a snack, go to an after-party, have breakfast, walk on the beach, and then watch the sunrise together. We'd all chip in for gas or a cab and whatever else. We had a fantastic time on almost no money. You can't do that today. Everything is wildly expensive. Dinner at a restaurant back then was easily within reach financially. Not anymore.
@@splashscreen92 No, you're not fucked! Have a picnic, go to the beach if there's one near you, hike, have a party and let everyone bring something. None of those cost much.
This comment may offend some people but I will tell you from what I see as I deal with young people on a daily basis, is that, social media fuels a lot of the depression. Social media has allowed people to perpetuate a falsified lifestyle or brag about the ones who do have a great lifestyle. One more thing is that nobody has your back anymore in a society where it’s all about “me”. I grew up in the 70s and 80s I was born in the late 1960s people are so different back then nowadays I feel like everybody old people, young people, any age groups of people are very cut throat today
Agreed with people being more cut throat - it's certainly not everywhere and everyone but it definitely feels like a very dog-eat-dog world sometimes :( I think part of this could be that there's so many people (especially if you live in a city) it's impossible to know everyone, so instead people are disconnected ... a sad reality indeed
It's the old fable of the grasshopper and the ant! I am 64 and live in the UK. I've always been thrifty and frugal. Then there is luck. Not all of it good. I have spent several periods (as much as 6 months) without a wage (redundancies etc) and not entitled to any form of social security. So in winter I have always burned candles and sat wrapped in a blanket on sofa (with minimal heating to prevent damp, mould, frozen pipes etc.) We are all facing a hard winter here as fuel prices have shot up. I know how to cope. It is not a shock to me. However other folk of age are terrified, living in cold, damp houses and not putting their heating on at all. Or being thrown out by greedy landlords and having to live in unsuitable accommodation. In short when you get to my age and can still afford to put the heating on a bit you will be glad you were an ant. Small pleasures matter more at this age!
As a European (millennial) what scares me the most about this insight in North American millennials is the equation spending money = being social, having fun, travelling. Having spent my teenage and 20s in Italy and Germany, I was a huge saver (I am still a super frugal person, just like you) but I've had tons of fun going out with friends, meeting new people and travelling all over the place. Millennials are also generally unhappy now in Europe, but it's mostly because of the weight of external global events: the environmental problem, the pandemic, the war at our doorstep.
This senior lady had parents who lived through the Great Depression, one in England, one on a farm in Manitoba. My British Dad was a self-taught financial wizard, and drilled his rules into me: Never gamble. Don't borrow money, except from a bank and pay it back ASAP, Put aside 20% of your pay cheque every month, not just 10%.. If I complained that our car was too old, or that other kids at school had brand-new bikes, Dad told me that those kids wouldn't have much money when they grew up, but that I would. Those kids lived in rented houses, he said, but our modest house was our own. My frugal mom, always warned me not to get the gimmes when we went shopping for groceries. We never bought chocolate marshmallow biscuits or fancy cakes-- , just groceries with what Mom called "food value.". She fed us rolled oats for breakfast, and rarely bought cornflakes or other dry cereals. When we had company, Mom taught me to bake cookies and special occasion cakes from scratch.. She also taught me to knit mitts, darn socks, and sew my own clothes. My parents' lessons saved me a fortune, when I was raising my own two kids, neither of whom grew up to be lavish spenders. My eldest grandson is now following in his grandfather's footsteps and is pursuing a career in accounting.
Grass is always greener until you cross the street and realize it’s just the angle of the sun. I am a little older. I, like you, did not go to a university. Also, like you, I only miss the social experience (St Elmo’s Fire). But I always managed to find great companies and have held great positions that would, in todays world, would only be given to someone with a degree. I don’t consider myself lucky because I’ve earned every penny I’ve made. But I think when you are a driven individual you will always ask yourself if you’ve made the right choices. No matter how much money, friends, or experiences you have or have not. That just human nature. Great content. Quite a few years between us but I still enjoy your videos. You are wise beyond your years.
I know people who went travelling for a few years....they had huge problems getting back to stability and grounding. No home to call their own, no job, no money etc.. They envied us who were established, settled and owned our homes.
American here. I joined the military out of high school. Didn’t have $ for college. Didn’t want to stay in California and burn myself out trying to make it in life. 4 years in the military over seas, lots of life experience, traveling, good dental and medical insurance (I needed lots of dental work). And now I have a Bachelors degree paid for by my GI Bill, online college. I don’t envy people with student loans or those who have to live with roommates or their parents. Traditional college is a scam now, the tuition and book costs are crazy!
There is a quote i really like which says: Life is like chess, once you go forward you cannot go back, you just have to deal with the current situation you're in
I’m 56 now and can honestly say that the mountain of friends you have when you are young predominantly don’t make it into your future. I have a handful of good friends who I like to spend time with as well as my partner and family. Job I enjoy in business development for s global law firm - no degree which would be a prerequisite now for my role. I think the key is if you came from a family where money was in short supply. You come from a different mindset or if your upbringing was frugal that would have an impact too. I live a debt free life don’t use a credit card - prefer to keep it my life simpler and as stress free as possible.
I just found your channel today and subscribed. Let me say Nicole you made the right choice financially for your future. Going to college for a social life is definitely overrated and in the end a house and financial security will be what matters especially when your old.
I have never heard anyone articulate this problem so eloquently. I feel like we've lived a similar life because I didn't go to college and am self-employed. I have very few friends, moved to a very rural area with my partner to accomplish our dream of homeownership (which was only possible because we had no student debt), and feel "stuck on the sidelines" of life. I don't think that will change until I meet my financial goals of paying off my house and padding my retirement accounts. Then maybe I'll travel in a van with my partner and start to work on gaining life experiences. But it just doesn't feel safe to spend money yet until I have that baseline security of knowing I'll always have a roof over my head and I won't be destitute in retirement. I think the 2008 crash and watching my dad be underemployed for years, almost lose the house, and blow through his retirement savings just to stay afloat really impacted me. Great video.
I think being in group B with a few wisely planned pockets of A behavior is the way to go. Like have a few experiences, but be smart…don’t blow your savings over it. Being frugal can still be fun and leave room for experiences…make room for relationships with less people who are high quality like-minded friends…the “for keeps” kind.
i'm a gen x'er. my dad pushed me to go to college so i would not have to work with my hands all my life like he did. seemed like a good idea at the time. i became a computer programmer. but with technology increasing exponentially, i may be out of a job with the rise of A.I. also, office work is not all it is cut out to be, but my dad probably did not know this. at any rate, i wish i had gone into construction like him and maybe be a handyman in my later years.
If your Dad is still around and willing to teach you, learn some skills on the side. You can never have too many skills. Those are future options and opportunities and you might discover you love it (fellow Gen X er here…my brother “should” have done Comp Sci but instead did construction and is now a high demand handyman!)…funny how life goes…
As a video editor looking at AI, it does trouble me some, but for AI to take over our jobs, clients would have actually to be able to tell you what they want.
I am a mix of both but I definitely lean more on the saver side. I’m about to graduate college without debt (full scholarship plus working my way throughout) and about $17k in the bank I’ve saved by working. I have treated myself throughout college but not nearly as much as my friends. At times I have felt like I’ve missed out on a few things but I don’t have regrets.
Good balance - Gen X here, and I would say I’m similar. That balance isn’t always easy to achieve but I think it is a recipe for a good and happy life. If I was younger and starting out now I would focus on building myself a tiny house and self-reliance skills. You can never go wrong with those.
Dissatisfaction occurs when reality doesnt meet expectations. Marketing and the media have spent years, carefully creating expectations that reality just meet.
I can relate to you on this topic. I did not go to university, instead going straight to work after high school, this was back in the 60’s. I became a manager for an airline, and one day my assistant asked if I would see someone applying for work; I agreed, and in walked a high school friend, recently graduated from university looking for a job. The irony still sticks with me to this day, me interviewing her. It's a different world now admittedly, but I have had great jobs, and a lot of success.
You didn't miss anything. I kept in touch with some of my university friends into my mid-30s, but after that we parted ways. I was very social, and still am. You're not an empty shell of a person because you didn't do 4 years of higher ed. Swear to God.
Looking back on it, the social experience of university is overrated. There's a lot of shallow friendships and for every party girl/boy there's another person who spent their free time messing about on the internet. You come across as well educated, Nicole. If we were talking in person and you told me that you had a master's degree I wouldn't doubt you for a second. 🙂
I was not capable of work when I was in my teens or 20's because I have a learning disability and an I.Q of 61 then and 67 now from a state government standard exam in 2015. Today I am 5 months from being 59 and I have congestive heart failure COPD and type 2 diabetes
Great video and it has made me reflect on my own experience. I find the dichotomy here problematic - that is the suggestion that you need to spend money to have a ‘community’, that you must travel to have fun, and that the opposite to these activities is stability. From my experience I think you find your community when you embed yourself in your local environment. Travelling is a great way to meet new people but how long do they remain part of your ‘community’ or circle of friends. Having a sense of belonging, forming genuine and lasting friendships, which usually involve fun and happy memories, does not require money. I am Irish and we as a society have a long history of travelling/migration, indeed there are only 5 million people living in Ireland, and approx 50 million Irish diaspora all around the world. When I hear my peers talk about living abroad and how great life is elsewhere, it is implied that life is some how lacking if you don’t travel and live all these experiences, but as someone who chose to stay in Ireland I can honestly say I have a very rich life on a relatively low income, and living in a town with a population of 20,000 people close to where I grew up. Of course it is nice to travel, see new places, learn about other countries but personally I find it a very fleeting form of happiness. On a different note I am fascinated by the use of the term ‘community’ not only in your video but how it is currently used across various contexts. Also, your videos are very thought provoking and enjoyable to watch thank you for sharing 🙏
Yes, actually, having lasting friendships and community _does_ require spending money. Want to visit friends? Then you're buying a car, and paying for gas and insurance. Want to go hang out at a café? Same thing, plus the cost of your meal and possibly also theirs if it's a date. Want to watch a movie together? Then you're either paying to visit the theatre (plus aforementioned transportation costs) or paying to purchase or rent the movie. If you're lucky maybe you can take the bus instead of having to own or rent a car, but that _also_ costs money. Only $5 a day where I live, sure, but that's still money.
I think most everyone (not just the younger generations) is unhappy these days because of social media and being addicted to our phones. Society is not as social in person as it used to be so people feel lonelier. It's also caused us to get used to getting things immediately which takes away the joy of anticipation and things to look forward to. It has basically isolated us and made us entitled. As far as regretting past choices, we all do that at some point. That's just one of the fun things that comes with aging. It usually starts in ours 30s or 40s. But I don't think it's that we necessarily regret our choices, I think it's more that we miss our youth. By our 30s/40s our lives are pretty much settled for the most part, as far as exciting milestones go. I guess that's why it's called a "mid life crisis".
Every generation has its troubles. I'm thankful that I didn't have to go through WW2 as my parents did. I'm glad I didn't have to figure out the Great Depression as my grandparents did. Now I'm the grandma. You will laugh when I tell you that our first house in 1988 cost $30,000. It had half an acre with an unbelievable Lake Erie view. It had 4 BR, I 1/2 baths, woodburning fireplace and was in great condition. However, my husband made much less than $20,000 and he was a teacher, in his fifth year of teaching PLUS we had three little girls! Also, the interest on mortgages was something like 12%! Luckily I'm a saver, like you, and we always made it. Those three little girls are grownups with fabulous careers and lives. So.....we all have our troubles, as will every generation but most of us can figure it out and live happily ever after, for the most part.
Totally agree we are of the same age range as you and we’re paying 17.5 % interest rates whilst running a small business. Several times we nearly lost everything but managed to pull through with long hours of work and no holidays for 10 years. Not even a honeymoon until much later. Now we have the money to do more our health is not a great but we can’t change it so we don’t worry about it. We make the most of what we can.
Hello. I am an original hippie from the '60s. Just never got over it. I can't get over the direction this country has taken. The people who are in charge...I don't know what *possessed* me to move to Texas. Worse decision than getting married. It's insane. Free Clinics--Gone. Food Coops--Gone. People working together--gone. I just... I can't...Sure as hell didn't see this coming.
Gen X’r here and I empathize here as I felt the same as you in my 20’s and 30’s. It comes back to knowing what you value and balance in life. I was able to travel and save during my early years and have no regrets though I would say I didn’t do things to impress others, only did what satisfied what held value for me.
Exactly, in order to be happy, you need friends, experiences, a place to live and enough stability not to dread tomorrow and to be able to plan some steps in life.
Life is a learning experience. We all have to go through the stupid stage. I know that I went through the stage in my twenties. Don’t punish yourself for it.
I feel a little of both. I put alot of effort into my studies to escape poverty and managed to gain a full ride scholarship and have no debt. However, I was not able to find a job in my field and I had to settle with low end jobs with shitty paychecks. I did saved enough in case of emergencies but i wish i can get a job that is not as dreadful and pays a good amount for me to live by. I am also feeling a bit of emptiness of not having a good social circle and wished i could have done some things worthwhile but now i"m at an old age (30) and have no memories to think about or talk about.
i'm a mix of both. I used to go out every weekend now i'm working on my 5th source of income... The only thing I regret is not saving more and learning to invest as a teen. If I had the foresight to know inflation would be this crushing..
You make such great observations. It's only in my late 30s when I can now look back at my choices as a young adult from 18 into my twenties and realise that I lived for the day as a way to cope with depression and nihilism about my future. It's only now with that awareness that I am able to manipulate myself into saving money. It's still an uphill battle to fight the constant urge to give up and indulge for the day and forget about tomorrow. When you said we both don't regret our past, while simultaneously wishing we made some different choices, that really hit home and summarised the weird feeling of limbo I have when I look back at the past. So now I'm finding that accepting things as they are and making the best choice I can each time in the future is the best way forward. Some choices will be better than others, but at least I'm feeling more integrated and balanced. But that took so long to achieve, was all through my own learning, and was hampered by school, parents, and society at large teaching me that I needed to aim for their versions of success.
Love your videos for their honesty. The solution you're asking for is maybe this: Be proud of your achievements and know that what you take for granted now is based on the hard choices you made in the past (house, car, wealth) and it's is what others are desperately yearning for due to their own (maybe less hard choices). However, also take what YOU are yearning for now and start working towards it with all your energy, using the fact that you have your hands free since you don't have to work towards a house, car and wealth.🙂 Also know, that socializing is rarely what it is made out to be. I went to uni and got a PhD, but in order to succeed and get a good degree, I too had to study every waking moment and missed out on a lot of the socializing that all those people did who didn't take their degree as seriously as I did. The party lions will always give us the impression that we've missed out, but at the end of the day, they too can feel hollow and lonely and wish they had a house, a family and large savings. And those who have a family similarly wish they had a better social life because they spend every waking second working and looking after their kids - oh and cooking and cleaning! ☺
I didn't drop out of high school but I did drop out of college after only two semester after realizing that if I continued, I would have to transfer to a university and that I would need to apply for a student loan afterwards that was a big no for me. I already had plans of buying a house some day. Which I accomplished in 97
8:00 the social experience of college. My biggest regret is going into college and not doing anything social. I literally just went to class and browsed through Digg and reddit in between. Luckily I dropped out when I did because I saw how much debt I was getting and the degree I was going to go after wasn't going to pay off for a very long time.
I mean…with everything going on in the dystopian hellscape we live in, external factors aren’t gonna bring us happiness. The best solution is to do one thing every day that brings joy into your life. For me that’s cooking and tai chi.
Definitely fit into category A. Did everything I wanted and would always put off saving. In it for the instant gratification. I am still this way, luckily I made some good decisions early on and I fit into a different age demographic. I'm almost 40 and only now saving. I see my faults and I am working on them. Saving is not just a mindset, it's about building good habits and I am working on that. Wish me luck!
As a “baby boomer “ myself I have encountered many my age who are either “a” or “b” . Yes, we had affordable college degrees and affordable housing but many of us are now scraping by on our retirement savings. The threat of inflation eating away at our savings is real. I went to college to earn a degree so I could earn a decent salary. I never went to any parties because I was always studying. I finally got a teaching job in rural Arizona with my 200th application.
My husband and I both went to college, paid off our student loans and cars, and just bought a house this year. (We are 29 and 30 years old). We have both sacrificed to get here, but I have an inner peace knowing we are doing alright. We just have to pay off the house and we will be debt free again.
Our daughter put her self through college, bought a new car, traded it in on a new rav-4 , moved to Seattle and bought a townhouse. All on her own. Her mother and I have just worked and barely get by.
This is 1 of your best videos I have seen. You're nicer here. Yeah maybe it's another word..I'll just go with nice. You talked about only getting a diploma in high school, yeah High school is something I really regret when I was a kid. Looking back on that, I would have dropped out of high school, work a job for a couple years, quit my job like in my 20's or something, & then go to any school for my high school diploma. When I was younger in my 20's, I didn't care about saving money, hardly worked, travelled & had so many friends to hang with. I would play sports like street hockey, ice hockey, baseball a couple of times, playing couch coop or vs video games & just go a lot of places in my city. Now that I'm in my 40's, I'm more happier than I have ever been now than at any point of my life. I hardly do anything now, 3 friends about which I hardly see them & co workers which 3 of them I went hanging out with to play bowling & eating lunch together. Now I work at Amazon. Only 30 hours of lesser a week & I super happy that I am in that position where I can work lesser, cuz my friends all need to work like 40-60 hours a week. Now I just save money, frugal, watch vids like yours on ideas of how to save money. It's awesome.
Fear will do crazy things to the mind. We put too much trust in the World. And the world's just gonna let you down. Put your trust in Jesus, he'll never let you down.
I feel I’m a little of both types - while I didn’t go to college and instead started working right away, I still overspent a lot on things like shopping, going out to eat, etc. and moved out of my parents house very young just because I wanted to - but I always wonder how much I would have saved if I just lived with them a few years longer. But I’m a self employed musician now and making it work, so overall I’m pretty happy 😊
DELAYED GRATIFICATION Big A+ for noticing how important that is. More important - very very few think rationally now. This comes directly from TV and all mass media. Advertising drones, "Buy becuz ...emotions." I thank God for every rebel that says, "naw, that simply isn't correct."
Let's not forget that inflation is sky high and the entire world is going through a shift. The wheat is being separated from the tares! People are being weeded out. I fall mostly in group A but I am also somewhat in group B. I now SAVE money wisely, prolonged moving out (stayed a little longer with my parents) and move in secrecy and keep my goals to myself. The world is changing - and our generation is the one to go through this major shift - and that's WHY everything is so hard!
Sanity helps. Common sense is essential. We grew up in the 70’s. We had fun but we worked at life. We had priorities but we also had parents who modeled sane behavior. We were taught values and conscience. We were not perfect but we have been happy. We wouldn’t change anything. There were great times of happiness and profound losses, as Life will hand you, but when said and done it has been good and we made it ours. You can always choose another road but you can’t regret what you decided. It is done. And you can only take one step at a time. Enjoy the process, it will always teach you something.❤️
Nicole is retelling the story of The Ant and the Grasshopper, one of Aesop's fables, thousands of years old. The more things change the more they stay the same.
I’m part of a third group. I partied a lot and spent more than I should have when I was young. I also took my secondary education seriously and got a PhD. You might say, “where’s the catch?” Well, my wife and I are in our mid 40s and we have a 2 year old. So in our case, most people like us are 10 years younger 😂
I really enjoy and relate to your discussions, keep making videos! Definitely got a subscribe from me : ) I think you are reflecting on some really important flaws in our culture that need to attention.
I say learn to love yourself and embrace it all at any stage or age of life regardless of efforts ability circumstances or background just love your self and give yourself a thousand hugs at all times no matter what
I live in metastability. I was definitely delayed gratification and saving -type, but a burglar destroyed everything I had. Moreover I realized had I been home, the burglar could've killed me. And all this for saving money.
Fantastic topic... love how you look on both sides of the coin. I definitely don't regret going to college it was a great social experience 100% but it was a waste of money I didint learn anything that I didint already know in classes...
The generations that were already adults in the 70's and before had a government that allowed them to succeed based on the common good. The parks, the highways, the programs to buy homes, the tax dollar support for college or technical school and more. Government support is the difference based on taxes that are paid out to the people's programs not corporations that don't pay in their fair percentage. The generations that voted for the New Deal that allowed middle class comforts voted that way bc they knew how hard life was without support from the government. They decided that was the best way forward bc the millionaires then were just as greedy and addicted to money as the billionaires now. So yes, you are right, there needs to be a solution to the billionaire situation bc they will just continue to get worse. That means getting involved in holding our legislators accountable. If you look back in history it was a bloody battle for Americans to get the government programs they had and then they told future generations, we fought for these rights, so it's your responsibility to maintain them for more future generations. That unfortunately has not happened based on a very simple principle, Divide and Conquer. Personal responsibility is important, but don't fall for 100% personal responsibility for the people and 0% responsibility for billionaires. All these programs your parents had and grandparents had could become a reality again if our population didn't divide themselves between political parties and instead considered themselves as one party against the immoral greed of the few.
Thanks a lot Nicole, that's a great video. I think I did both, I used to be a spender up until I was about 26, I earned so little it didn't seem of any value to save (although I now regret not saving haha). I bought stuff like quality furniture, books, courses, went on holiday, bought my friends gifts, went out for meals, just generally didn't watch my money at all, it was great to live like that. And then when I started to earn serious money and started saving. Now I'm 100% in the saver bucket, I save over 90% of my income and I get a huge satisfaction out of it. In a way I wish I saved even more as now I'm aiming for a house but maybe I did the right thing just enjoying myself in my early twenties. Very good analysis that everyone regrets their decisions, there is no such thing as a perfect life. My priorities changed - decided to buy a house, and I guess that's why I am now a saver:)
Great Video. I'm certainly an A, in some ways I wish I wasn't, in others I'm glad I am. I've seen people that've worked hard, had some luck and done well, some work hard had bad luck and hit the skids and some that've just had luck ! Seems to me however well you are doing you are told its not enough in this world. My two closest friends are considerably better off than I, but it doesn't matter, life is about friendship, none of us are any happier than any other.
You made the right choice. I am a saver, and always have been. You remind me of my younger self. Breath, you got this. Side note. If you ever hook up with someone it looks to me like most are spenders.
You articulate the issues very well. Personally, I know too many people who deferred enjoyment and deprived themselves due to being house poor, or being desperate to save a downpayment. This can lead to relationship issues and depression. Everyone must find their own balance. The GTA is a meat grinder place to live. Moving to Calgary was the best thing we ever did. Young people with families everywhere.
Great video. I do have to say though, a person that has not experienced a higher education, can't really say what they missed. They can speculate. If someone does college, I mean really applies themselves, they learn to think on a whole different level, they see the world differently, they problem solve differently. As higher education advances, so does the depth of a person. This comes from a person who hated school, and at 25 went to college because the salary and opportunities toped out and now holds a terminal degree. I didnt have the docial piece of college at all. Is higher education needed for everyone, NO. I have 3 kids and only 1 college graduate. Higher education is personal, but has many, many rewards.
Most people who truly have money are business owners, not workers. But if one chooses worker path then might as well go college, but need to be careful about the education they pick or they just end up with more debt and doing same job like non-degree people. I personally rather skip all college thing and gather capital debt free I can use to build passive incomes or self employment
@Alexandra Bellerose Humm. I have been a business owner and employee. Business ownership has so many expenses and I ended up paying so much in taxes because I made good money, it wasn't worth it. It was actually more cost effective for me to work for someone else, plus I now don't have all the ownership headaches! Lol.
@@pen5532 again depends on the laws your country operates if you are sole trader, limited company etc. Not everyone likes following someone's else's schedules and rules ALL their life. A lot of places won't give you a fair share of what you have contributed. Being your own business, Al the revenue is for you to see and you know exactly you will be getting after expenses. Friend does simple thing like driving taxis on self employment basis for a taxi company. He works really long, but you could be putting hours like that on overtime as a middle manager in corporate and you see about half of that income with all this responsibility
@123 Litera oh totally get it. I have had both sole prop. and llcs. Funny when one is self employed, instead of giving ibe boss, every customer is your boss. Lol. Thanks for the conversation. Best to uou and yours.
I think a huge part of it is that we collectively got gaslighted by bankers and any sort of tech companies. Bankers: having any kind of debt other than a mortgage or a business loan used to be seen as shameful. Enter credit cards and credit score. Fortunately that last one isn't really used outside of the US yet, but the credit score system means you're pretty much obligated to get at least some debt in order to get hosing or insurance or lots of other things at a halfway reasonable price. As for the tech companies, they came up with planned obsolescence. I'm 56 and even though that's not all that old, I have clear memories of consumer products being made to last or at least fairly easy to fix. And the whole tech becoming out of fashion because newer tech came along? Every single year? That was simply not a thing just 30 years ago. I'm not saying the new tech stuff isn't better. But it has certainly become harder if not impossible to fix and that's 100% on purpose. I grew up in a working class family and we struggled to afford stuff. Our vacations consisted of housesitting for friends who lived near the sea. Those are all very fond memories, though. Anyway, TLDR: life used to be way more affordable because we could easily fix our stuff, said stuff was built to last and we weren't gaslit into going into debt.
You are helping this ole gal and man, I applaud your channel Nicole! I almost lost my coffee when you said, and I paraphrase, “you spend money on stinky candles and those terrible oil mists that cover up the smell of your house you’re wasting your money!” I became a fan! On this video you show the human condition of never knowing if maybe, just maybe, you wasted some time going down the path you chose. You didn’t. Please believe me, you are the beautiful anti-kardashian, the antidote. Sorry for gushing. I’m just bone tired of the BS and appreciate you! Rock on! 🎉❤❤❤
you're very smart and you talk at a pace my mind can keep up with so I don't have to speed up the damn video like with other slow talking stupid people. so thank you for that. still wanna kms though. I hope this gets resolved and we can get paid what we are worth so we can enjoy what little we have left of our short lives. thank you for making this known people need to hear this.
Yes like you I could have done all the things said to enjoy life better, dam if only. Can't go back so I have to live with it. BTW, good job on climbing the numbers graph!
I agree we do tend to fall in one of two of those categories. I'm a bit of a mix but really wasn't very responsible with money. Not in debt but not a lot of savings. And I lost a lot of friends. College was kind of a traumatic time for me tbh. A for dealing with the billionaires, I like the woodchipper idea.
I have regrets for sure. I’m a saver but at times I go on budgeted spending binges and I feel regret. I was very fortunate my parents paid for my college but I wish I had a more “investing” mentality instead of a saving one. I also wish instead of budgeting spending on material things, would have focused more on experiences and travel.
Now group A wants group B to help them, so they want to be able to live it up and then be bailed out later. At least that’s my experience with my brother and ex wife.
I'm 32, so same age, same generation, same general North American environment. I both had a fantastic time in my early 20s, and also saved a lot. So I think you have set up a false dichotomy between spending money and having fun versus saving money and being secure. The fulcrum is the assumption that having fun costs money. Or at least, a lot of money. Of course, there is a trade off. Fun will cost at least a little money, and the time spent having fun will be time you could have invested in growing a career or studying or working overtime. But personally I found it quite easy to strike a balance. The key with work and earning was to follow the obvious, straightforward path that wasn't particularly glamorous but which was quite sure. I went to an in-state college, and got scholarships to pay for tuition. Because I wanted my degree to be able to support me, I studied software, even though I probably would have been happier studying something else. That got me a mediocre, underpaid job as a software developer after graduation - still not glamorous or enjoyable, but solid. Meanwhile, the key with having fun and living life was to ask "how can I have the maximum amount of fun for the least amount of money?" So my friends and I would be roommates, we would ride our bicycles around town instead of owning cars and driving. Or if we did drive, we would always carpool. When we partied, it was always a house party with the cheapest alcohol we could find. When we got together, it was always a potluck - often with one or two dishes that had been partially scrounged out of a dumpster. But eating and drinking was always the smallest part of our fun - most of the fun we had would be engaging in some kind of physical activity outdoors. Riding bikes, going on hikes, throwing a frisbee around. And we still travelled - waiting on the best super-discounted spirit air fares to go to very cheap countries like Nicaragua and Colombia. We still went to concerts, but they would be cheap ones with small or local bands, which were still always amazing - or else we would volunteer to get into big festivals. Meanwhile, the more standard "fun havers" would drive their car alone to the bar on Friday night, spending $100 on cover and drinks to destroy their physical health, and then endangering their own and others' lives driving home. They would live alone because they could not imagine roommates improving their lives, and thus made themselves both poor and socially isolated. And when they travelled, they would go to London, Paris, or Rome to stay in an expensive hotel and... go out and drink some more. And so, I am fit and happy at 32. I own my own home, and am retired. I spend my time travelling, recreating outside, making new friends and enjoying my friendships. And while many people lack the advantages I had, I have a hard time feeling much pity for the people who had the same advantages as me, or even more, and are now living unhealthy, heavily debt-dependent, and extremely stressful lives, and blame it on "the system." Of course, the system sucks, and wealth inequality sucks. But these people honestly have no one to blame but themselves for their current situation. If we threw Elon Musk into a wood chipper, his fortune should be spent finding solutions to climate change, not paying the debt of one of my entitled contemporaries because they YOLO'd their 20s. Imo, millennials get too hung up talking about the challenges they face and the hurdles they have to overcome because they always compare themselves to their boomer parents. So stop doing that. Compare yourselves to the Greatest Generation or the Guilded Age, or really, any other time in human history, or to the average person in any developing nation, and you'll see that you've still got it easy. All you need to do is think independently, not keep up with the Joneses, and do the work.
Nicole you are young and healthy ...go have some fun ... as a retired person that grew up in a lower income household and that has lived a sensible frugal life I am enjoying the fruits now. The fun never ends
Have some fun… With who? People are so selfish nowadays. I have no friends since I was 24 (when I graduated, everybody vanished). Now I am 42. I’ve tried to meet new people, but throughout the years I realised I was the only one making all the effort . People just don’t care. I was being friendly alone and I just got sick of it.
Group A spending on experiences and travel but I can save like group B and think like group B. Instead, I would say my outlook is that people either pursue increased income, or deal with life baggage and look for a basis of existential satisfaction. Some people can gain life satisfaction pursuing the inherited desires of for example house/married/kids/career but others will find satisfaction from other pursuits. Here is where the real economy of things lies, personal values.
i'm 72. i was a hippie in the 60s. although we were raised with the idea that nuclear war was always a possibility, and that hiding under wooden desks would probably not be effective, the 60s and 70s were so economically successful that we enjoyed a great deal of freedom. and a great deal of social interaction. i don't think those growing up today have anywhere near the opportunity for engagement and fun that we did. it's really not fair. but we weren't burdened with so many billionaires back then. you would have been welcome; no one would have even known you were saving cash... if that's even a bad thing.
Hi Nicole - love your work and your fellow Canadian Mychas who paid of a $120K student loan debt. I'm Gen X living in Australia and am a combination of responsible and irresponsible. I chewed through a million dollars during my 25-year Public Service career but saved 10% maximum into retirement that was matched by the government. I was able to travel all over the world running marathons and rented in upper-class areas I couldn't afford to buy in. I was able to retire at 41 due to ill health so i was able to buy a home. I'm extremely blessed to have travelled when I did as I now have arthritis. My advice would be to invest for your future in a retirement fund with disability coverage. Keep up the great work!
Love your show. Great advice. You might want to cut your bangs a tiny bit higher just so that they're out of your eyes I think that might be helpful and I love all your advice
I live in a nursing home where honestly I will say I donot always get the health medical care I should or even when I go out to us army doctors I was never a medical student my dad was the finest emergency medical I ever knew from him my hospital visits family doctors I pad videos. Newspapers reading I know something’s also my past last minute urin sepsis very very close call to save my life this is a repeat listen to me if you are sick not sure donot waste time go see some one right away I know from experience thank you
I've never related to anything so much. I'm definitely group b, and have felt so alone for making my life a huge bout of "delayed gratification". I feel like I missed out on things... But I guess I still think I made the right choice.
Balance is definitely the key. It’s good you were smart enough to create a RUclips channel and have a job you don’t hate. I didn’t found it easy to find a decent job until I went back to school for additional training.
Balance is key. I have spent my teens to late college saving. Now that I have graduated (debt free at that) I do spend a little more on things I actually like to wear or experiences I would like to have.
Definitely have regrets however our lives are our experiences. Had I not made the so called bad decisions I wouldn’t be where I am today. Mind you had I made better decisions I wonder where I would be today. I’ve owned 4 properties but now I’m renting because of a decision I made to move to my dream State of Florida. Which in hind sight became my nightmare. Because 4 years later I can’t recoup the wasted money. But I have the experience. And oddly enough I am glad for the experience. I know that I can do whatever I set my mind to. We live and learn. Most times the hard way. But while I’m saving money again to buy a property I am thankful for the experiences. I am finding gratitude in everything. Once you get out of the comparison game life is better. I am continually learning and growing. I am an achiever. Once I would achieve my goal I would be onto the next goal. It’s not until recently that I finally said “I am good right where I am”. I am grateful and excited for new adventures and happy right in the moment. Gratitude has been key for me. Keep up the great work. I love your content. It keeps me thinking 🧐
I didn't go to college and have no regrets!!! I have three kids in college and I really worry about them and how are they going to pay it all off! I did an apprenticeship and am doing well! My house and cars are all paid for and I save as much as I can! Trust me you're on the right path!!!
Then there are those who never had money, nor travelled, and are now adults trying to get their stuff straight. Parent's can't teach financial responsibility if they don't know how to handle money themselves. So some of us had to learn the hard way. Hopefully we can teach our children better!
Life is easier in a warm climate. You need more discipline when you get tons of snow and deal with temperatures of minus 0 windchill factors. Having your own home before age 30 will be something to be proud of. By the time you hit 40, you will no longer glamorize college. You will look around and realize you made it. Intelligence is not based on college. You could learn more in a three day weekend than a kid who sits in a classroom a whole semester! I am a college graduate but I tortured myself doing that every day realizing I was more intelligent than the professors feeding me useless things I would never use in the present world. What college did for me was allow me four extra years to grow up. It was like four more years of high school and dating and social fun with people your own age. I think I left college craving to be around older people who were more mature and found out the reality that older people are really just as immature just in different ways. If you are open and you have a little discipline and fun, you will have a life of fun and have friends. Letting life get you down narrows your focus and gets you into ruts. You really have it all now Nicole. You’re smart and intelligent. You know how to work hard and have some discipline. If you do date and meet someone, please don’t let them move in with you. Dating is not supposed to be two people being together because the other has something they could use. Marriage is not transactional. It is about two people loving one another and being best friends accepting the good and the bad. And there is nothing worse than a lazy man who wants his wife to take care of him. A good man will want to take care of you. And you will love him for being that man. Men really want respect and loyalty. They love a woman who is not afraid to be feminine. The world is upside down and the birth rate of the west is barely below the death rate. Not good. You mentioned how people seem uncontent and unhappy. Its true but it doesn’t have to be. Happiness is from within. It doesn’t come even if the world somehow improves from its evil ways and disappointing morals. Its from within. But I will say this: it helps when you live in the country and have some privacy. City life is not without frustrations. And all you have to do is look at how the animals migrate away from a city. Stay close to God is easier out in the country. Cities are wicked places where no one slows down enough to realize why we are here in the first place…..to make the choice to follow God or Satan. Its not that complicated. God gave us free choice, but He is watching and wants us in His flock. This will be the most important decision you will make!
I'm 64, and I saved a lot of money while having SO much fun, simply because it was less expensive in the 1970s/1980s to have fun. My friends and I would go out dancing before the bar's cover charge kicked in at whatever time, dance all night, grab a snack, go to an after-party, have breakfast, walk on the beach, and then watch the sunrise together. We'd all chip in for gas or a cab and whatever else. We had a fantastic time on almost no money. You can't do that today. Everything is wildly expensive. Dinner at a restaurant back then was easily within reach financially. Not anymore.
so we're just fucked huh? no more fun. no wonder people self delete.
@@splashscreen92 No, you're not fucked! Have a picnic, go to the beach if there's one near you, hike, have a party and let everyone bring something. None of those cost much.
The system has failed all of us. This is not normal. We need to change things
Comparing is the greatest form of depressions. Social media desteoys peaceful lives.
This comment may offend some people but I will tell you from what I see as I deal with young people on a daily basis, is that, social media fuels a lot of the depression. Social media has allowed people to perpetuate a falsified lifestyle or brag about the ones who do have a great lifestyle. One more thing is that nobody has your back anymore in a society where it’s all about “me”. I grew up in the 70s and 80s I was born in the late 1960s people are so different back then nowadays I feel like everybody old people, young people, any age groups of people are very cut throat today
Absolutely
I agree with social media making people sad. Except for RUclips I don’t go on social media anymore. It was making me too angry and anxious.
Totally agree-grateful I was a kid in the 70's and a teenager in the 80's....56 yrs old...
Absolutely agree
Agreed with people being more cut throat - it's certainly not everywhere and everyone but it definitely feels like a very dog-eat-dog world sometimes :( I think part of this could be that there's so many people (especially if you live in a city) it's impossible to know everyone, so instead people are disconnected ... a sad reality indeed
It's the old fable of the grasshopper and the ant! I am 64 and live in the UK. I've always been thrifty and frugal. Then there is luck. Not all of it good. I have spent several periods (as much as 6 months) without a wage (redundancies etc) and not entitled to any form of social security. So in winter I have always burned candles and sat wrapped in a blanket on sofa (with minimal heating to prevent damp, mould, frozen pipes etc.) We are all facing a hard winter here as fuel prices have shot up. I know how to cope. It is not a shock to me. However other folk of age are terrified, living in cold, damp houses and not putting their heating on at all. Or being thrown out by greedy landlords and having to live in unsuitable accommodation. In short when you get to my age and can still afford to put the heating on a bit you will be glad you were an ant. Small pleasures matter more at this age!
Wishing you warmth and comfort this season and always.
As a European (millennial) what scares me the most about this insight in North American millennials is the equation spending money = being social, having fun, travelling. Having spent my teenage and 20s in Italy and Germany, I was a huge saver (I am still a super frugal person, just like you) but I've had tons of fun going out with friends, meeting new people and travelling all over the place. Millennials are also generally unhappy now in Europe, but it's mostly because of the weight of external global events: the environmental problem, the pandemic, the war at our doorstep.
This senior lady had parents who lived through the Great Depression, one in England, one on a farm in Manitoba. My British Dad was a self-taught financial wizard, and drilled his rules into me: Never gamble. Don't borrow money, except from a bank and pay it back ASAP, Put aside 20% of your pay cheque every month, not just 10%.. If I complained that our car was too old, or that other kids at school had brand-new bikes, Dad told me that those kids wouldn't have much money when they grew up, but that I would. Those kids lived in rented houses, he said, but our modest house was our own.
My frugal mom, always warned me not to get the gimmes when we went shopping for groceries. We never bought chocolate marshmallow biscuits or fancy cakes-- , just groceries with what Mom called "food value.". She fed us rolled oats for breakfast, and rarely bought cornflakes or other dry cereals. When we had company, Mom taught me to bake cookies and special occasion cakes from scratch.. She also taught me to knit mitts, darn socks, and sew my own clothes.
My parents' lessons saved me a fortune, when I was raising my own two kids, neither of whom grew up to be lavish spenders. My eldest grandson is now following in his grandfather's footsteps and is pursuing a career in accounting.
Grass is always greener until you cross the street and realize it’s just the angle of the sun. I am a little older. I, like you, did not go to a university. Also, like you, I only miss the social experience (St Elmo’s Fire). But I always managed to find great companies and have held great positions that would, in todays world, would only be given to someone with a degree. I don’t consider myself lucky because I’ve earned every penny I’ve made. But I think when you are a driven individual you will always ask yourself if you’ve made the right choices. No matter how much money, friends, or experiences you have or have not. That just human nature. Great content. Quite a few years between us but I still enjoy your videos. You are wise beyond your years.
Thank you for watching!
Awesome 👌 comment thank you
I know people who went travelling for a few years....they had huge problems getting back to stability and grounding. No home to call their own, no job, no money etc.. They envied us who were established, settled and owned our homes.
American here. I joined the military out of high school. Didn’t have $ for college. Didn’t want to stay in California and burn myself out trying to make it in life. 4 years in the military over seas, lots of life experience, traveling, good dental and medical insurance (I needed lots of dental work). And now I have a Bachelors degree paid for by my GI Bill, online college. I don’t envy people with student loans or those who have to live with roommates or their parents. Traditional college is a scam now, the tuition and book costs are crazy!
There is a quote i really like which says:
Life is like chess, once you go forward you cannot go back, you just have to deal with the current situation you're in
I’m a Queen tho so 🤷🏼♀️ ✨ lol
I’m 56 now and can honestly say that the mountain of friends you have when you are young predominantly don’t make it into your future. I have a handful of good friends who I like to spend time with as well as my partner and family. Job I enjoy in business development for s global law firm - no degree which would be a prerequisite now for my role. I think the key is if you came from a family where money was in short supply. You come from a different mindset or if your upbringing was frugal that would have an impact too. I live a debt free life don’t use a credit card - prefer to keep it my life simpler and as stress free as possible.
I just found your channel today and subscribed. Let me say Nicole you made the right choice financially for your future. Going to college for a social life is definitely overrated and in the end a house and financial security will be what matters especially when your old.
I have never heard anyone articulate this problem so eloquently. I feel like we've lived a similar life because I didn't go to college and am self-employed. I have very few friends, moved to a very rural area with my partner to accomplish our dream of homeownership (which was only possible because we had no student debt), and feel "stuck on the sidelines" of life. I don't think that will change until I meet my financial goals of paying off my house and padding my retirement accounts. Then maybe I'll travel in a van with my partner and start to work on gaining life experiences. But it just doesn't feel safe to spend money yet until I have that baseline security of knowing I'll always have a roof over my head and I won't be destitute in retirement. I think the 2008 crash and watching my dad be underemployed for years, almost lose the house, and blow through his retirement savings just to stay afloat really impacted me. Great video.
I think being in group B with a few wisely planned pockets of A behavior is the way to go. Like have a few experiences, but be smart…don’t blow your savings over it. Being frugal can still be fun and leave room for experiences…make room for relationships with less people who are high quality like-minded friends…the “for keeps” kind.
Seems like sound advice.
I did it completely wrong. I’m 39, and I have no fun experiences OR money. So at least y’all have one of those.
How come?
You still have time. 🙂
i'm a gen x'er. my dad pushed me to go to college so i would not have to work with my hands all my life like he did. seemed like a good idea at the time. i became a computer programmer. but with technology increasing exponentially, i may be out of a job with the rise of A.I. also, office work is not all it is cut out to be, but my dad probably did not know this. at any rate, i wish i had gone into construction like him and maybe be a handyman in my later years.
If your Dad is still around and willing to teach you, learn some skills on the side. You can never have too many skills. Those are future options and opportunities and you might discover you love it (fellow Gen X er here…my brother “should” have done Comp Sci but instead did construction and is now a high demand handyman!)…funny how life goes…
As a video editor looking at AI, it does trouble me some, but for AI to take over our jobs, clients would have actually to be able to tell you what they want.
I am a mix of both but I definitely lean more on the saver side. I’m about to graduate college without debt (full scholarship plus working my way throughout) and about $17k in the bank I’ve saved by working. I have treated myself throughout college but not nearly as much as my friends. At times I have felt like I’ve missed out on a few things but I don’t have regrets.
Yessss girl 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Way to go!
@@AccordingtoNicole Thank you!
Good balance - Gen X here, and I would say I’m similar. That balance isn’t always easy to achieve but I think it is a recipe for a good and happy life. If I was younger and starting out now I would focus on building myself a tiny house and self-reliance skills. You can never go wrong with those.
Dissatisfaction occurs when reality doesnt meet expectations. Marketing and the media have spent years, carefully creating expectations that reality just meet.
I can relate to you on this topic. I did not go to university, instead going straight to work after high school, this was back in the 60’s. I became a manager for an airline, and one day my assistant asked if I would see someone applying for work; I agreed, and in walked a high school friend, recently graduated from university looking for a job. The irony still sticks with me to this day, me interviewing her. It's a different world now admittedly, but I have had great jobs, and a lot of success.
You didn't miss anything. I kept in touch with some of my university friends into my mid-30s, but after that we parted ways. I was very social, and still am. You're not an empty shell of a person because you didn't do 4 years of higher ed. Swear to God.
Looking back on it, the social experience of university is overrated. There's a lot of shallow friendships and for every party girl/boy there's another person who spent their free time messing about on the internet.
You come across as well educated, Nicole. If we were talking in person and you told me that you had a master's degree I wouldn't doubt you for a second. 🙂
I was not capable of work when I was in my teens or 20's because I have a learning disability and an I.Q of 61 then and 67 now from a state government standard exam in 2015. Today I am 5 months from being 59 and I have congestive heart failure COPD and type 2 diabetes
Great video and it has made me reflect on my own experience.
I find the dichotomy here problematic - that is the suggestion that you need to spend money to have a ‘community’, that you must travel to have fun, and that the opposite to these activities is stability. From my experience I think you find your community when you embed yourself in your local environment. Travelling is a great way to meet new people but how long do they remain part of your ‘community’ or circle of friends. Having a sense of belonging, forming genuine and lasting friendships, which usually involve fun and happy memories, does not require money. I am Irish and we as a society have a long history of travelling/migration, indeed there are only 5 million people living in Ireland, and approx 50 million Irish diaspora all around the world. When I hear my peers talk about living abroad and how great life is elsewhere, it is implied that life is some how lacking if you don’t travel and live all these experiences, but as someone who chose to stay in Ireland I can honestly say I have a very rich life on a relatively low income, and living in a town with a population of 20,000 people close to where I grew up. Of course it is nice to travel, see new places, learn about other countries but personally I find it a very fleeting form of happiness.
On a different note I am fascinated by the use of the term ‘community’ not only in your video but how it is currently used across various contexts.
Also, your videos are very thought provoking and enjoyable to watch thank you for sharing 🙏
Yes, actually, having lasting friendships and community _does_ require spending money. Want to visit friends? Then you're buying a car, and paying for gas and insurance. Want to go hang out at a café? Same thing, plus the cost of your meal and possibly also theirs if it's a date. Want to watch a movie together? Then you're either paying to visit the theatre (plus aforementioned transportation costs) or paying to purchase or rent the movie. If you're lucky maybe you can take the bus instead of having to own or rent a car, but that _also_ costs money. Only $5 a day where I live, sure, but that's still money.
I think most everyone (not just the younger generations) is unhappy these days because of social media and being addicted to our phones. Society is not as social in person as it used to be so people feel lonelier. It's also caused us to get used to getting things immediately which takes away the joy of anticipation and things to look forward to. It has basically isolated us and made us entitled. As far as regretting past choices, we all do that at some point. That's just one of the fun things that comes with aging. It usually starts in ours 30s or 40s. But I don't think it's that we necessarily regret our choices, I think it's more that we miss our youth. By our 30s/40s our lives are pretty much settled for the most part, as far as exciting milestones go. I guess that's why it's called a "mid life crisis".
Every generation has its troubles. I'm thankful that I didn't have to go through WW2 as my parents did. I'm glad I didn't have to figure out the Great Depression as my grandparents did.
Now I'm the grandma. You will laugh when I tell you that our first house in 1988 cost $30,000. It had half an acre with an unbelievable Lake Erie view. It had 4 BR, I 1/2 baths, woodburning fireplace and was in great condition. However, my husband made much less than $20,000 and he was a teacher, in his fifth year of teaching PLUS we had three little girls! Also, the interest on mortgages was something like 12%!
Luckily I'm a saver, like you, and we always made it. Those three little girls are grownups with fabulous careers and lives. So.....we all have our troubles, as will every generation but most of us can figure it out and live happily ever after, for the most part.
Totally agree we are of the same age range as you and we’re paying 17.5 % interest rates whilst running a small business. Several times we nearly lost everything but managed to pull through with long hours of work and no holidays for 10 years. Not even a honeymoon until much later. Now we have the money to do more our health is not a great but we can’t change it so we don’t worry about it. We make the most of what we can.
Hello. I am an original hippie from the '60s. Just never got over it. I can't get over the direction this country has taken. The people who are in charge...I don't know what *possessed* me to move to Texas. Worse decision than getting married. It's insane. Free Clinics--Gone. Food Coops--Gone. People working together--gone. I just... I can't...Sure as hell didn't see this coming.
Gen X’r here and I empathize here as I felt the same as you in my 20’s and 30’s. It comes back to knowing what you value and balance in life. I was able to travel and save during my early years and have no regrets though I would say I didn’t do things to impress others, only did what satisfied what held value for me.
Exactly, in order to be happy, you need friends, experiences, a place to live and enough stability not to dread tomorrow and to be able to plan some steps in life.
Yes!
Life is a learning experience. We all have to go through the stupid stage. I know that I went through the stage in my twenties. Don’t punish yourself for it.
I feel a little of both. I put alot of effort into my studies to escape poverty and managed to gain a full ride scholarship and have no debt. However, I was not able to find a job in my field and I had to settle with low end jobs with shitty paychecks. I did saved enough in case of emergencies but i wish i can get a job that is not as dreadful and pays a good amount for me to live by. I am also feeling a bit of emptiness of not having a good social circle and wished i could have done some things worthwhile but now i"m at an old age (30) and have no memories to think about or talk about.
Absolutely, we need more opportunities for young people. It has been downhill for at least 30 years for most people .. education or no.
"the grass was never greener on the other side, either side you choose to go it's many shades of yellow" -me just now😂
i'm a mix of both. I used to go out every weekend now i'm working on my 5th source of income... The only thing I regret is not saving more and learning to invest as a teen. If I had the foresight to know inflation would be this crushing..
You make such great observations. It's only in my late 30s when I can now look back at my choices as a young adult from 18 into my twenties and realise that I lived for the day as a way to cope with depression and nihilism about my future. It's only now with that awareness that I am able to manipulate myself into saving money. It's still an uphill battle to fight the constant urge to give up and indulge for the day and forget about tomorrow.
When you said we both don't regret our past, while simultaneously wishing we made some different choices, that really hit home and summarised the weird feeling of limbo I have when I look back at the past.
So now I'm finding that accepting things as they are and making the best choice I can each time in the future is the best way forward. Some choices will be better than others, but at least I'm feeling more integrated and balanced. But that took so long to achieve, was all through my own learning, and was hampered by school, parents, and society at large teaching me that I needed to aim for their versions of success.
You articulate the inner conflict very well. I believe that many young adults can relate to your feelings.
Love your videos for their honesty. The solution you're asking for is maybe this: Be proud of your achievements and know that what you take for granted now is based on the hard choices you made in the past (house, car, wealth) and it's is what others are desperately yearning for due to their own (maybe less hard choices). However, also take what YOU are yearning for now and start working towards it with all your energy, using the fact that you have your hands free since you don't have to work towards a house, car and wealth.🙂 Also know, that socializing is rarely what it is made out to be. I went to uni and got a PhD, but in order to succeed and get a good degree, I too had to study every waking moment and missed out on a lot of the socializing that all those people did who didn't take their degree as seriously as I did. The party lions will always give us the impression that we've missed out, but at the end of the day, they too can feel hollow and lonely and wish they had a house, a family and large savings. And those who have a family similarly wish they had a better social life because they spend every waking second working and looking after their kids - oh and cooking and cleaning! ☺
That’s called life. There will always be choices you didn’t make.
I didn't drop out of high school but I did drop out of college after only two semester after realizing that if I continued, I would have to transfer to a university and that I would need to apply for a student loan afterwards that was a big no for me. I already had plans of buying a house some day. Which I accomplished in 97
8:00 the social experience of college.
My biggest regret is going into college and not doing anything social. I literally just went to class and browsed through Digg and reddit in between. Luckily I dropped out when I did because I saw how much debt I was getting and the degree I was going to go after wasn't going to pay off for a very long time.
I mean…with everything going on in the dystopian hellscape we live in, external factors aren’t gonna bring us happiness. The best solution is to do one thing every day that brings joy into your life. For me that’s cooking and tai chi.
Definitely fit into category A. Did everything I wanted and would always put off saving. In it for the instant gratification. I am still this way, luckily I made some good decisions early on and I fit into a different age demographic. I'm almost 40 and only now saving. I see my faults and I am working on them. Saving is not just a mindset, it's about building good habits and I am working on that. Wish me luck!
I REALLY like your wood chipper reference!!
As a “baby boomer “ myself I have encountered many my age who are either “a” or “b” . Yes, we had affordable college degrees and affordable housing but many of us are now scraping by on our retirement savings. The threat of inflation eating away at our savings is real. I went to college to earn a degree so I could earn a decent salary. I never went to any parties because I was always studying. I finally got a teaching job in rural Arizona with my 200th application.
My husband and I both went to college, paid off our student loans and cars, and just bought a house this year. (We are 29 and 30 years old). We have both sacrificed to get here, but I have an inner peace knowing we are doing alright. We just have to pay off the house and we will be debt free again.
Never too late to light things up a bit!
Our daughter put her self through college, bought a new car, traded it in on a new rav-4 , moved to Seattle and bought a townhouse. All on her own. Her mother and I have just worked and barely get by.
This is 1 of your best videos I have seen. You're nicer here. Yeah maybe it's another word..I'll just go with nice.
You talked about only getting a diploma in high school, yeah High school is something I really regret when I was a kid.
Looking back on that, I would have dropped out of high school, work a job for a couple years, quit my job like in my 20's or something, & then go to any school for my high school diploma.
When I was younger in my 20's, I didn't care about saving money, hardly worked, travelled & had so many friends to hang with. I would play sports like street hockey, ice hockey, baseball a couple of times, playing couch coop or vs video games & just go a lot of places in my city.
Now that I'm in my 40's, I'm more happier than I have ever been now than at any point of my life. I hardly do anything now, 3 friends about which I hardly see them & co workers which 3 of them I went hanging out with to play bowling & eating lunch together.
Now I work at Amazon. Only 30 hours of lesser a week & I super happy that I am in that position where I can work lesser, cuz my friends all need to work like 40-60 hours a week.
Now I just save money, frugal, watch vids like yours on ideas of how to save money. It's awesome.
You're never boring. I always enjoy your videos.
Even being a saver, the group b type I am still struggling.
Fear will do crazy things to the mind. We put too much trust in the World. And the world's just gonna let you down. Put your trust in Jesus, he'll never let you down.
I feel I’m a little of both types - while I didn’t go to college and instead started working right away, I still overspent a lot on things like shopping, going out to eat, etc. and moved out of my parents house very young just because I wanted to - but I always wonder how much I would have saved if I just lived with them a few years longer. But I’m a self employed musician now and making it work, so overall I’m pretty happy 😊
DELAYED GRATIFICATION
Big A+ for noticing how important that is. More important - very very few think rationally now. This comes directly from TV and all mass media. Advertising drones, "Buy becuz ...emotions."
I thank God for every rebel that says, "naw, that simply isn't correct."
Let's not forget that inflation is sky high and the entire world is going through a shift. The wheat is being separated from the tares! People are being weeded out. I fall mostly in group A but I am also somewhat in group B. I now SAVE money wisely, prolonged moving out (stayed a little longer with my parents) and move in secrecy and keep my goals to myself. The world is changing - and our generation is the one to go through this major shift - and that's WHY everything is so hard!
Sanity helps. Common sense is essential. We grew up in the 70’s. We had fun but we worked at life. We had priorities but we also had parents who modeled sane behavior. We were taught values and conscience. We were not perfect but we have been happy. We wouldn’t change anything. There were great times of happiness and profound losses, as Life will hand you, but when said and done it has been good and we made it ours. You can always choose another road but you can’t regret what you decided. It is done. And you can only take one step at a time. Enjoy the process, it will always teach you something.❤️
You are a wise person. 👌 many blessings to you. Absolute pleasure to listen to you.
Nicole is retelling the story of The Ant and the Grasshopper, one of Aesop's fables, thousands of years old. The more things change the more they stay the same.
I’m part of a third group. I partied a lot and spent more than I should have when I was young. I also took my secondary education seriously and got a PhD. You might say, “where’s the catch?” Well, my wife and I are in our mid 40s and we have a 2 year old. So in our case, most people like us are 10 years younger 😂
I like your videos Nicole you speak a lot of sense.😊
I really enjoy and relate to your discussions, keep making videos! Definitely got a subscribe from me : )
I think you are reflecting on some really important flaws in our culture that need to attention.
I say learn to love yourself and embrace it all at any stage or age of life regardless of efforts ability circumstances or background just love your self and give yourself a thousand hugs at all times no matter what
amazing video!! i'm shocked you don't have thousands of subscribers wtf
I live in metastability. I was definitely delayed gratification and saving -type, but a burglar destroyed everything I had. Moreover I realized had I been home, the burglar could've killed me. And all this for saving money.
Fantastic topic... love how you look on both sides of the coin. I definitely don't regret going to college it was a great social experience 100% but it was a waste of money I didint learn anything that I didint already know in classes...
Option 3 sounds very enticing though….😊
The generations that were already adults in the 70's and before had a government that allowed them to succeed based on the common good. The parks, the highways, the programs to buy homes, the tax dollar support for college or technical school and more. Government support is the difference based on taxes that are paid out to the people's programs not corporations that don't pay in their fair percentage. The generations that voted for the New Deal that allowed middle class comforts voted that way bc they knew how hard life was without support from the government. They decided that was the best way forward bc the millionaires then were just as greedy and addicted to money as the billionaires now. So yes, you are right, there needs to be a solution to the billionaire situation bc they will just continue to get worse. That means getting involved in holding our legislators accountable. If you look back in history it was a bloody battle for Americans to get the government programs they had and then they told future generations, we fought for these rights, so it's your responsibility to maintain them for more future generations. That unfortunately has not happened based on a very simple principle, Divide and Conquer. Personal responsibility is important, but don't fall for 100% personal responsibility for the people and 0% responsibility for billionaires. All these programs your parents had and grandparents had could become a reality again if our population didn't divide themselves between political parties and instead considered themselves as one party against the immoral greed of the few.
Thanks a lot Nicole, that's a great video. I think I did both, I used to be a spender up until I was about 26, I earned so little it didn't seem of any value to save (although I now regret not saving haha). I bought stuff like quality furniture, books, courses, went on holiday, bought my friends gifts, went out for meals, just generally didn't watch my money at all, it was great to live like that. And then when I started to earn serious money and started saving. Now I'm 100% in the saver bucket, I save over 90% of my income and I get a huge satisfaction out of it. In a way I wish I saved even more as now I'm aiming for a house but maybe I did the right thing just enjoying myself in my early twenties. Very good analysis that everyone regrets their decisions, there is no such thing as a perfect life. My priorities changed - decided to buy a house, and I guess that's why I am now a saver:)
Great Video. I'm certainly an A, in some ways I wish I wasn't, in others I'm glad I am. I've seen people that've worked hard, had some luck and done well, some work hard had bad luck and hit the skids and some that've just had luck ! Seems to me however well you are doing you are told its not enough in this world. My two closest friends are considerably better off than I, but it doesn't matter, life is about friendship, none of us are any happier than any other.
Tx!
You made the right choice. I am a saver, and always have been. You remind me of my younger self. Breath, you got this. Side note. If you ever hook up with someone it looks to me like most are spenders.
You articulate the issues very well. Personally, I know too many people who deferred enjoyment and deprived themselves due to being house poor, or being desperate to save a downpayment. This can lead to relationship issues and depression. Everyone must find their own balance. The GTA is a meat grinder place to live. Moving to Calgary was the best thing we ever did. Young people with families everywhere.
i am gen X: ive seen it all before, even in the 70ties
i dont even feel anything
now it more or less the same as it evah was
There is wisdom in the Simpson's. The people that had there fun years ago, are the ones crying now. The world is not their mother and father.
Great video. I do have to say though, a person that has not experienced a higher education, can't really say what they missed. They can speculate. If someone does college, I mean really applies themselves, they learn to think on a whole different level, they see the world differently, they problem solve differently. As higher education advances, so does the depth of a person. This comes from a person who hated school, and at 25 went to college because the salary and opportunities toped out and now holds a terminal degree. I didnt have the docial piece of college at all. Is higher education needed for everyone, NO. I have 3 kids and only 1 college graduate. Higher education is personal, but has many, many rewards.
Most people who truly have money are business owners, not workers.
But if one chooses worker path then might as well go college, but need to be careful about the education they pick or they just end up with more debt and doing same job like non-degree people.
I personally rather skip all college thing and gather capital debt free I can use to build passive incomes or self employment
@Alexandra Bellerose Humm. I have been a business owner and employee. Business ownership has so many expenses and I ended up paying so much in taxes because I made good money, it wasn't worth it. It was actually more cost effective for me to work for someone else, plus I now don't have all the ownership headaches! Lol.
@@pen5532 again depends on the laws your country operates if you are sole trader, limited company etc.
Not everyone likes following someone's else's schedules and rules ALL their life.
A lot of places won't give you a fair share of what you have contributed. Being your own business, Al the revenue is for you to see and you know exactly you will be getting after expenses.
Friend does simple thing like driving taxis on self employment basis for a taxi company.
He works really long, but you could be putting hours like that on overtime as a middle manager in corporate and you see about half of that income with all this responsibility
@123 Litera oh totally get it. I have had both sole prop. and llcs. Funny when one is self employed, instead of giving ibe boss, every customer is your boss. Lol. Thanks for the conversation. Best to uou and yours.
I think a huge part of it is that we collectively got gaslighted by bankers and any sort of tech companies. Bankers: having any kind of debt other than a mortgage or a business loan used to be seen as shameful. Enter credit cards and credit score. Fortunately that last one isn't really used outside of the US yet, but the credit score system means you're pretty much obligated to get at least some debt in order to get hosing or insurance or lots of other things at a halfway reasonable price.
As for the tech companies, they came up with planned obsolescence. I'm 56 and even though that's not all that old, I have clear memories of consumer products being made to last or at least fairly easy to fix. And the whole tech becoming out of fashion because newer tech came along? Every single year? That was simply not a thing just 30 years ago.
I'm not saying the new tech stuff isn't better. But it has certainly become harder if not impossible to fix and that's 100% on purpose.
I grew up in a working class family and we struggled to afford stuff. Our vacations consisted of housesitting for friends who lived near the sea. Those are all very fond memories, though.
Anyway, TLDR: life used to be way more affordable because we could easily fix our stuff, said stuff was built to last and we weren't gaslit into going into debt.
I love your wisdom
You are helping this ole gal and man, I applaud your channel Nicole! I almost lost my coffee when you said, and I paraphrase, “you spend money on stinky candles and those terrible oil mists that cover up the smell of your house you’re wasting your money!” I became a fan! On this video you show the human condition of never knowing if maybe, just maybe, you wasted some time going down the path you chose. You didn’t. Please believe me, you are the beautiful anti-kardashian, the antidote. Sorry for gushing. I’m just bone tired of the BS and appreciate you! Rock on! 🎉❤❤❤
you're very smart and you talk at a pace my mind can keep up with so I don't have to speed up the damn video like with other slow talking stupid people. so thank you for that. still wanna kms though.
I hope this gets resolved and we can get paid what we are worth so we can enjoy what little we have left of our short lives. thank you for making this known people need to hear this.
Yes like you I could have done all the things said to enjoy life better, dam if only. Can't go back so I have to live with it. BTW, good job on climbing the numbers graph!
They need gratitude...what ever your paths.....you are wise beyond your years⭐.you did the right thing🌹
I agree we do tend to fall in one of two of those categories. I'm a bit of a mix but really wasn't very responsible with money. Not in debt but not a lot of savings. And I lost a lot of friends. College was kind of a traumatic time for me tbh. A for dealing with the billionaires, I like the woodchipper idea.
😮same conservation I just had with my mates 5 minutes ago! Tripping out hard 😂🎉
I have regrets for sure. I’m a saver but at times I go on budgeted spending binges and I feel regret. I was very fortunate my parents paid for my college but I wish I had a more “investing” mentality instead of a saving one. I also wish instead of budgeting spending on material things, would have focused more on experiences and travel.
Now group A wants group B to help them, so they want to be able to live it up and then be bailed out later. At least that’s my experience with my brother and ex wife.
I'm 32, so same age, same generation, same general North American environment.
I both had a fantastic time in my early 20s, and also saved a lot. So I think you have set up a false dichotomy between spending money and having fun versus saving money and being secure. The fulcrum is the assumption that having fun costs money. Or at least, a lot of money.
Of course, there is a trade off. Fun will cost at least a little money, and the time spent having fun will be time you could have invested in growing a career or studying or working overtime. But personally I found it quite easy to strike a balance.
The key with work and earning was to follow the obvious, straightforward path that wasn't particularly glamorous but which was quite sure. I went to an in-state college, and got scholarships to pay for tuition. Because I wanted my degree to be able to support me, I studied software, even though I probably would have been happier studying something else. That got me a mediocre, underpaid job as a software developer after graduation - still not glamorous or enjoyable, but solid.
Meanwhile, the key with having fun and living life was to ask "how can I have the maximum amount of fun for the least amount of money?" So my friends and I would be roommates, we would ride our bicycles around town instead of owning cars and driving. Or if we did drive, we would always carpool. When we partied, it was always a house party with the cheapest alcohol we could find. When we got together, it was always a potluck - often with one or two dishes that had been partially scrounged out of a dumpster. But eating and drinking was always the smallest part of our fun - most of the fun we had would be engaging in some kind of physical activity outdoors. Riding bikes, going on hikes, throwing a frisbee around. And we still travelled - waiting on the best super-discounted spirit air fares to go to very cheap countries like Nicaragua and Colombia. We still went to concerts, but they would be cheap ones with small or local bands, which were still always amazing - or else we would volunteer to get into big festivals.
Meanwhile, the more standard "fun havers" would drive their car alone to the bar on Friday night, spending $100 on cover and drinks to destroy their physical health, and then endangering their own and others' lives driving home. They would live alone because they could not imagine roommates improving their lives, and thus made themselves both poor and socially isolated. And when they travelled, they would go to London, Paris, or Rome to stay in an expensive hotel and... go out and drink some more.
And so, I am fit and happy at 32. I own my own home, and am retired. I spend my time travelling, recreating outside, making new friends and enjoying my friendships. And while many people lack the advantages I had, I have a hard time feeling much pity for the people who had the same advantages as me, or even more, and are now living unhealthy, heavily debt-dependent, and extremely stressful lives, and blame it on "the system."
Of course, the system sucks, and wealth inequality sucks. But these people honestly have no one to blame but themselves for their current situation. If we threw Elon Musk into a wood chipper, his fortune should be spent finding solutions to climate change, not paying the debt of one of my entitled contemporaries because they YOLO'd their 20s.
Imo, millennials get too hung up talking about the challenges they face and the hurdles they have to overcome because they always compare themselves to their boomer parents. So stop doing that. Compare yourselves to the Greatest Generation or the Guilded Age, or really, any other time in human history, or to the average person in any developing nation, and you'll see that you've still got it easy. All you need to do is think independently, not keep up with the Joneses, and do the work.
Nicole you are young and healthy ...go have some fun ... as a retired person that grew up in a lower income household and that has lived a sensible frugal life I am enjoying the fruits now. The fun never ends
Have some fun… With who? People are so selfish nowadays. I have no friends since I was 24 (when I graduated, everybody vanished). Now I am 42. I’ve tried to meet new people, but throughout the years I realised I was the only one making all the effort . People just don’t care. I was being friendly alone and I just got sick of it.
Group A spending on experiences and travel but I can save like group B and think like group B. Instead, I would say my outlook is that people either pursue increased income, or deal with life baggage and look for a basis of existential satisfaction. Some people can gain life satisfaction pursuing the inherited desires of for example house/married/kids/career but others will find satisfaction from other pursuits. Here is where the real economy of things lies, personal values.
i'm 72. i was a hippie in the 60s. although we were raised with the idea that nuclear war was always a possibility, and that hiding under wooden desks would probably not be effective, the 60s and 70s were so economically successful that we enjoyed a great deal of freedom. and a great deal of social interaction. i don't think those growing up today have anywhere near the opportunity for engagement and fun that we did. it's really not fair. but we weren't burdened with so many billionaires back then. you would have been welcome; no one would have even known you were saving cash... if that's even a bad thing.
Hi Nicole - love your work and your fellow Canadian Mychas who paid of a $120K student loan debt. I'm Gen X living in Australia and am a combination of responsible and irresponsible. I chewed through a million dollars during my 25-year Public Service career but saved 10% maximum into retirement that was matched by the government. I was able to travel all over the world running marathons and rented in upper-class areas I couldn't afford to buy in. I was able to retire at 41 due to ill health so i was able to buy a home. I'm extremely blessed to have travelled when I did as I now have arthritis. My advice would be to invest for your future in a retirement fund with disability coverage. Keep up the great work!
The grass is greener where you water it.
I think a lot of the time it is stability and to have a purpose in life .
Love your show. Great advice.
You might want to cut your bangs a tiny bit higher just so that they're out of your eyes I think that might be helpful and I love all your advice
I live in a nursing home where honestly I will say I donot always get the health medical care I should or even when I go out to us army doctors I was never a medical student my dad was the finest emergency medical I ever knew from him my hospital visits family doctors I pad videos. Newspapers reading I know something’s also my past last minute urin sepsis very very close call to save my life this is a repeat listen to me if you are sick not sure donot waste time go see some one right away I know from experience thank you
I've never related to anything so much. I'm definitely group b, and have felt so alone for making my life a huge bout of "delayed gratification". I feel like I missed out on things... But I guess I still think I made the right choice.
There is no eating of the cake and still retaining the cake.
Dam, im gen z and i save any money i get but even like that i dont have any money
This generation have it worst
Balance is definitely the key. It’s good you were smart enough to create a RUclips channel and have a job you don’t hate. I didn’t found it easy to find a decent job until I went back to school for additional training.
Balance is key. I have spent my teens to late college saving. Now that I have graduated (debt free at that) I do spend a little more on things I actually like to wear or experiences I would like to have.
Definitely have regrets however our lives are our experiences. Had I not made the so called bad decisions I wouldn’t be where I am today. Mind you had I made better decisions I wonder where I would be today. I’ve owned 4 properties but now I’m renting because of a decision I made to move to my dream State of Florida. Which in hind sight became my nightmare. Because 4 years later I can’t recoup the wasted money. But I have the experience. And oddly enough I am glad for the experience. I know that I can do whatever I set my mind to. We live and learn. Most times the hard way. But while I’m saving money again to buy a property I am thankful for the experiences. I am finding gratitude in everything. Once you get out of the comparison game life is better. I am continually learning and growing.
I am an achiever. Once I would achieve my goal I would be onto the next goal. It’s not until recently that I finally said “I am good right where I am”. I am grateful and excited for new adventures and happy right in the moment. Gratitude has been key for me.
Keep up the great work. I love your content. It keeps me thinking 🧐
"...the comparison game...." - Comparison is the end of contentment.
I didn't go to college and have no regrets!!! I have three kids in college and I really worry about them and how are they going to pay it all off! I did an apprenticeship and am doing well! My house and cars are all paid for and I save as much as I can! Trust me you're on the right path!!!
Then there are those who never had money, nor travelled, and are now adults trying to get their stuff straight.
Parent's can't teach financial responsibility if they don't know how to handle money themselves.
So some of us had to learn the hard way. Hopefully we can teach our children better!
Life is easier in a warm climate. You need more discipline when you get tons of snow and deal with temperatures of minus 0 windchill factors. Having your own home before age 30 will be something to be proud of. By the time you hit 40, you will no longer glamorize college. You will look around and realize you made it. Intelligence is not based on college. You could learn more in a three day weekend than a kid who sits in a classroom a whole semester! I am a college graduate but I tortured myself doing that every day realizing I was more intelligent than the professors feeding me useless things I would never use in the present world. What college did for me was allow me four extra years to grow up. It was like four more years of high school and dating and social fun with people your own age. I think I left college craving to be around older people who were more mature and found out the reality that older people are really just as immature just in different ways. If you are open and you have a little discipline and fun, you will have a life of fun and have friends. Letting life get you down narrows your focus and gets you into ruts. You really have it all now Nicole. You’re smart and intelligent. You know how to work hard and have some discipline. If you do date and meet someone, please don’t let them move in with you. Dating is not supposed to be two people being together because the other has something they could use. Marriage is not transactional. It is about two people loving one another and being best friends accepting the good and the bad. And there is nothing worse than a lazy man who wants his wife to take care of him. A good man will want to take care of you. And you will love him for being that man. Men really want respect and loyalty. They love a woman who is not afraid to be feminine. The world is upside down and the birth rate of the west is barely below the death rate. Not good. You mentioned how people seem uncontent and unhappy. Its true but it doesn’t have to be. Happiness is from within. It doesn’t come even if the world somehow improves from its evil ways and disappointing morals. Its from within. But I will say this: it helps when you live in the country and have some privacy. City life is not without frustrations. And all you have to do is look at how the animals migrate away from a city. Stay close to God is easier out in the country. Cities are wicked places where no one slows down enough to realize why we are here in the first place…..to make the choice to follow God or Satan. Its not that complicated. God gave us free choice, but He is watching and wants us in His flock. This will be the most important decision you will make!