What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- “The Real” hosts open up about words of wisdom they’d give their twenty-something selves, during this Girl Chat. Tamera says her best piece of advice would be: everything’s going to be alright. Check it out.
This was a really great girl chat. You could tell that Tamar could relate to what Jeannie was saying. I remember she said or one of the Braxtons said that they would use paper plates and cups, and lived in a small home etc. So she really understands her viewpoint, and appreciates/cares for her mother too. I've really seen that through bfv and t&v. I could relate to all of them in one form or another. It was nice hearing such powerful words of wisdom from these strong ladies!!!
Completely shade free: this was one of the most real, intellectually stimulating segments I've seen here in a while. I love how the ladies can reflect back on their lives and teach us how we can better ourselves....DANG, y'all make me have feelings! What are you trying to do to me, make me human?!
I wanted to write the exact same thing. So nice to see how everyone let the other speak and and there was NO shade at all. A perfect conversation. Go girls.
shade free ? when tamera said marrying.. they closed in on adrienne lmao
AGREED! They all had amazing amazing stuff to say. So....loved it.
+HeyMyLifeIsLibby Shade free? What about when Adrianne said she wished she had said No, and Lani Made that loud "OOOH"?? That was suuuper shade.
Lmao I meant shade free on my end. But these ladies however know how to cast shadows. And I live for it.
I'd tell myself to be confident and to not let people push me around and to not let other change what I think of myself
Wow, I appreciate Jeannie's story. Really touched my heart.
Adrienne was speaking my heart.... Lawd, sometimes I cringe at how much I was a yes woman in my teens and current twenties up until last year. Till this day I still hate saying no to things but I do now. It's so important that you do what's in your heart and not try to please everyone around you.
I will say that Tamera makes me feel ok not being one of those super datey people. I'm still a virgin at 26 and sometimes I worry that makes me somehow less desirable. But with her being mostly ok with her waiting until she was 29 makes me kind of ok with waiting until I find the right person or the right person finds me.
She wasn't ok waiting until she was 29. As a Christian, she wanted to wait till marriage but she slept with Adam then regretted it and waited till they got married to be intimate again. Just wanted to clear that up.
Same here girl I'm 24 and willing to save myself to marriage! It's not easy because people pressure you into the norm but the thing is everyone is different and that's ok! And if guys can't seem to accept that then they are not right for me! I put my faith in GOD that he will direct me in the right path!
I know that she wasn't like 100% yay ok, but she still held it together for years and years. That's what I mean. I'm not waiting for marriage like she did, but its not something I'm going to take lightly.
MrsTatertots girl never feel pressured bc at the end of the day it's your...not anybody else's. Wait until YOUR READY and that he actually deserves it bc trust many ppl wish they wld have waited
lovelyd9 Yup. That's the truth she said those exact words. Her intentions were to wait until marriage but she gave in to society ( im assuming) not sure why if you wait until you darn near 30 what's a few more years tbh. But she regreted it... fixed it before the Lord.....they waited ..... got married.... and now she is on baby #2.
I love Tamera! Even though i'm only 22 turning 23 soon I look at life the way Tamera did when she was in her 20's. I need to stop worrying. Just live in the moment. Your only young once.
See, segments like this make this a really thought provoking show. If I could go back and tell my high school self something it would be to not worry about what others think of me like Loni was saying. Also, while it's great to get all your work done it's also OK to have fun every now and then. I would get so wrapped up in school work it barely left me leisure time to enjoy my city and have fun. Thankfully, I found a good balance now.
I love Tamara. I'm 19 and still a virgin. Sometimes I feel odd, because all of my friends lost their virginity. Tamara makes me feel better about waiting!!
Brezhana Reed don't worry you do it when you want to and that person should respect you not when your pressured!
Brezhana Reed I know it's a year later but I hope you still waited I say that because I didn't wait and I regret it If I could do it over I would wait for marriage
Nefertiti Negus I'm still going strong and still waiting. Thanks for the advice, really appreciate it!!
Brezhana Reed I waited to have sex too, there's absolutely nothing wrong with awaiting. I broke my virginity at 23.
Brezhana Reed I am the same age and still have mines but my ex was trying so hard to have sex until he rape me in my mouth
Well I am 21, turning 22 on Apr 15 (Do ya taxes people). I have been through a lot of things that people three times my age couldn't imagine. I have come to the point where I have become calloused and nonchalant to things and it is easy to just dismiss people that I don't deem "good" for me or my growth. It is bittersweet, I guess. Looking back on my short time on earth, this has caused me to judge people prematurely or not even judge them at all. I had to learn to take people for who they are. It's not my job to change anyone, but to love people. That doesn't mean be stupid and invite everyone you meet into your bubble, obviously. That is absurd. I am a much happier person and have learned so much about my own self. I've learned to accept that sometimes humans suck. Life is hard. I've found resiliency and passion is easier to come by since that realization. I'm not going to wait until I am old and crusty to do what I can do now while I still have my youthful exuberance. Rant over. Bye.
Great segment but I hate that Tamar felt that the only way to get to know "herself" was through dating multiple men. A lot of girls make that mistake and end up with multiple sex partners or with babies from men they don't like because of their insecurities. I think it's important to know early on that it's okay to be yourself and there's nothing wrong with focusing on YOU!
I think she was mostly getting at not being attached to one guy and making him her be all end all. She got trapped in that situation before and ended up feeling stuck with a guy who physically and emotionally abused her. So I def understand that.
Yeah. What Megan Tiffany said. The problem with the small teasers is that sometimes you miss the context of the commentary.
I guess that that may happened to alot of people but clearly isnt the case with Tamar most of these ppl that do have multiple baby daddy are just plain irresponsible. Come on. Most ppl actually around so that comment was a bit off. Be serious now.
No honey what she was saying was 20s is time to have fun and explore and see what u like and what type of person u want to be with!!!
I'm a guy, but Tamar's story hit me in the spot. I just need to let myself live a little while I'm in my twenties and not let my passion to find someone to enjoy life with hamper me from doing that, Cuz I am so hung up on finding and searching for the one that it prevents me from doing anything else Cuz all my time is invested there and not enough is invested in bettering and propelling me.
Loved the advice these ladies gave...every single one of them were on the money. I'm in my 20's now and hope that I can follow some of this. :)
I'm almost 21 and hearing all this. I'm going through almost everything they mentioned. It's really made me realize I need to live my life at this age and not WORRY so much,
This video just helped me! I LOVE watching The Real! I am in my 20s, and I'm always worried about my unknowingly past mistakes in childhood , my present and future. It's like I want to make so many accomplishments now while I'm in my young 20s, before I get too old, but I have to remind myself of not worrying about the future and have faith in Jesus, because he will work everything out for me. God bless these ladies and everyone on this comment thread who relates.
your comment alone almost made me cry! I'm 20 yrs old as well and I worry so much and just like you i ask myself a lot haha about wanting to accomplish so many things before it's to late but yea we gotta remind ourselves to chill and of course have faith that everything will work out
Did nobody catch that? Loni was an Engineer! An Electrical engineer. Gosh this woman is my hero. I'm in school for that right now. I wish she'd talk more about it more
This hits me hard right now because I just finished my first year in college and I still am not quite sure what I want to do. People are constantly saying I'm wasting my time if I don't have it figured out. I really love writing so I want to write books, and I love fashion, so I'm majoring in both English and Marketing. I'm just scared it won't work out since people say only STEM majors make real money. I come from a home like Jeannie's and I just want to be successful.
Bryanna Walley That's not ture. You are not waisting your time, because I'm in the same boat. As long as you are going to school too better yourself and receive a higher education you are already succeeding. You have more than enough time to figure things out. Don't rush it. You'll find out soon enough. And don't do things just for the money do it becuase you love it and your passionate about it. Yes, money is important, but don't let that be your main focus and drive. Do what you love not what other's think that you should do. This is your life don't let other people dictate it.
I just turned eighteen and I've always worried about people's opinion on me and I still do, but after hearing the ladies' advice it really made me thinking! Worrying is a total waste of time, especially when youre so young.
I can relate to Jeannie so much. My family always had very little and we always struggled to pay bills and afford groceries. I never had my own room, but i also never knew how much my parents were suffering because they never said NO to my siblings and i, and there were families in my neighborhood that had it waaaaaaaay worse. It wasn't until i moved away from the San Fernanno Valley to Orange county that i noticed the difference and felt ashamed at times, but now looking back i'm eternally grateful for what i have and what i had. although we stuggled i always had food and shelter and never had to live in the streets.
I love Jeannie's, Andrienne's and Lonnie's advise, I would tell my 23 yr old self the same things.
I love what Jeannie said I'm 18 and I always feel like that I haven't invited anyone for years but I think this is a lesson for me to be learned 💗💗
i needed this. first day on a new job and boss is so rude want to quit. ima stick it out nobody's gonna make me leave Im not gonna worry. also a full time student in college and a senior at that i worry so much about being successful and its stressful
yana212 it's gonna be fine. keep your head up you've got this. remember why you are doing this. blessings.
I would tell my 20 year old self, just do it. I was (and am) afraid to do things because of what other people would think and say. Now I regret not taking risks when I want to
I was 21 when I had my first heartbreak, and just needed that time to learn about myself. and I'll admit, now at 24 its hard. I remember thinking I'd be engaged at 22, married at 24, have kids by 27. but life doesn't always work out how you want, but it works out how its suppose to. I did think I'd never get married because I was 16 when I first started dating him. but you know what, I learned to stop worrying about it. I'm with you Tamera!
MissGlamarellaaa If you are Christian read Psalm 139.
omg...i feel like we have the same exact story and you touched me. i dated from 16 and heartbreak at 21 and am 25 now without a bf but i know its fine cuz i will rather take my time than rush and make the biggest mistake of my life...tamera is almost the best btw :)
This was a good segment
all there advice stood out
*their
+Sharms thank you
Thanks i was feeling that way and thanks to this video im understanding more about my feelings. Im 22 and i worry alot about my future. Thank you
Waiting on Tamar write a book.
I so know how that feels. This makes me understand so much more how important you should be to you self. How you value yourself should be a question you ask yourself everyday.
I love these women SO much because they remind me that my mistakes won't define me. I can be a better person and definitely successful.
🙈 21 and I'm worried about who I'm going to marry w/o truly loving myself *sigh*
I love discussions like this!! The ones on a more serious note. Love you guys!!! #TheReal
When Tamera started talking my eyes kept getting wider and wider like she was telling my story!
Adrienne is sooo fly! Love her style!
I loveee loveee these ladiessss❤️❤️ they keeping it 100.. I love there honesty and sharing it with the us!!
Loved loved loved this segment.
I am very cool with myself and love myself and be happy with yourself and believe and achieve my dreams
this motivates me really....if its mean to be it will be
They should do segments like this more often. I love the fun and crazy topics that they do but topics like this really can help the audience connect more with them and might even help someone who is going through something.
just reading what it's about first and already lov Tamera's advice hands down it's the most important ! 🙌 we should remember that like damn haha I gotta remind myself everyday
I'm really starting to like Tamera..she gives good advices compared to the others
Just turned 22 this was good to watch. The 30s seem cool !
I got a feeling by the time I'm Tamar, Tamera, Loni, Jeanie, and Adrienne's age I'm gonna be thinking just like them. I'm still young I'm 24 years old and by the time I'm 36 or 40 I'll definitely be thinking that way. And to those my age get to know yourself while your 20's last.
P.S. I LOVE LONI'S HAIR!!!!!! 😍
Just entering the "season" of being in my 20s and its true u do worry about alot of things ur kinda uneasy about life. But as in my late teens i felt it too.
I loved what Jeannie said !♡♡
Tamera speaking truth.
One of the best episodes of this year.
This came in the right moment ❤️ love u girls
Off topic but I lovvveeeee the glitter eyeshadows they always wear.
Very great segment !! So real, so relatable ! Thank you The Real ladies!
Amen! I live carefree now and I'm not worried about anything or anybody, even though I'm in my twenties now ha. I guess I'm just a fast bloomer!
Thanks Loni. I needed that.
I wish they'd upload the whole episode - or showed it online somewhere.
I love Jeanie
😍😘💜💖Tamera is my role model ! love her
Great segment!
I never dated any guy, virgin as well and I know myself really well. I know exactly what my career goals and life is. Tamar thinks getting to know yourself is dating people. I think if people are hurting while dating is just making you insecure. Tamar seems insecure
Baby, not to discourage you, but I felt the exact same way until I got out here in these streets. Its a whole different ball game.
This was REAL.
BEST SEGMENT EVER!!
loved this.
Love this show.
I'm 22 and a virgin and I've had friends try to pressure me into sex, but I never ever did have sex, but there were times whenever I was like (u knw, I should just go ahead and have sex and lose my virginity to someone, there was a ex of mine that would say he loved me, but he didn't becuz I knew it wasn't real and I wasn't feeling it, but the messed up part, I would say il love u bck to him, knowing, it was wrong of me); so I was in that relationship for a good couple of months or a month, don't remember, also he always wanted to have sex with me and I letted him know from the start, I wasn't about that life also, I told him, like if he is looking for someone he wants to have sex with, then he can break up with me and get into a relationship with someone else and they can do what ever they wanted, I also said I swear I won't be heartbroken, becuz I'll still be the same old me, so after that I said do u wanna end things and he said no, he is happy with what we have going and yea I know that was wrong on my behalf to say, but I knew my limits and I still do, also I refused to do anything sexual, so I was pretty much a no goer, but I knew what I wanted and what I didn't want, also the way how things ended between us was messed up, but I'll stop my comment here becuz I'm talking to much, so I'll shut up, but if u want to know more about me or this situation plz feel free to comment or say some awful things towards me, becuz lord knows i've heard it all
What Mеn REALLY Wаnt => twitter.com/a9fbb22c16e8018fa/status/804693412402241537 Whаaaаt Advice Wooоuld You Give Yоoour Younger Self
Ratin Dass I'd tell myself not to hold in your emotion or think u cannot speak your mind, I'd also say regardless of all of the bullying u went through don't let it get to u nor let it make u become a emotional eater or low self-esteem becuz it's not worth it and one day you'll look back and say u I was made for greatness and nothing or no one can stop that.
I'm 27 and still a virgin! I'm very proud of that because I believe I am worth the wait!
I relate to Tamera more because I am still a virgin. I love that shes part of the show
Very good advice!!! Most of that applied to me hahaha
I love jeannies story
I was with Tamar until she started justifying dating 20/30 men. Especially when we all heard the other day what "dating" means in her dictionary lol!
... and before anyone points out that she corrected that statement, I feel it only shows she's still insecure about her "dating" because she's so adamant to justify her past.
She doesn't have to justify to you, or anyone else, how many men she's been with or why. People need to live their own lives and love themselves, and in doing so you will see the negative judgements or perceptions you have of others will dissipate. Open your mind and heart and learn to understand other's perspectives. 😜
Lakesha Davis Yeah. Did you read my points? You said it exactly - she doesn't, so why does she keep trying? Obviously SHE feels the need to. I didn't personally tell her to keep explaining herself. That's very insecure. She also doesn't need a defence lawyer, so you might wanna back up. And while I have your attention, you should heed your own advice and not assume that my observation means I'm not open or unhappy with my life. If you took the time to understand my perspective, you may have recognised that your first statement actually supports my point. Thanks for your comment though.
+Sally Riposte Tamar didn't want the haters coming for her that is why she came back and cleaned up her point of view .
+Sally Riposte Tamar was keeping it real. Boo you spelled defense, recognize wrong .
I don't why many of you stress for. Like I understand that we do have many questions when we're in our twenties but come on!! Stop worrying!
What episode is this?
3 that's not enough.... Really.
I try very hard to like Adrienne, but she looks more and more like Halloween everytime I turn on my television.
Bitch shut up
Tamar is hot in this episode!!!......usually her wigs are distracting, this look makes me like her a lil bit more....
Tamar needa stick with black hair she looked good!
Macon faces and the first thing that you need to know what the first thing that you need me 9th the first time in my life is not only a half hour 6th and the first thing that you need to know what I mean is not only 5th the first thing that you need to know what I mean is not only 5th the first thing that sexual
beautiful.
Jeannie was 23 in the girl scouts? Lol
... oh, and Adrienne. Jada Pinkett Smith said it best,
"Worry about being respected, never worry about being liked because that's the trap. That is where people manipulate you."
It took me a long time to learn that as well. Love you ladies.
I think she used the Girl Scouts as an example of how she never let anyone come over her house so maybe she continued on being embarrassed of where she came from well into her 20s and it wasn't until she had a house of her own did she realize she should have been proud all of that time.
I could not agree more with Jada's words. So many women fall in that trap and never get out.
Jada is a woman of wisdom I'm 19 and I realized this my junior year in high school it was like the Lord opened my eyes and showed me what I was doing wrong, which was trying to be liked rather than be respected.
It was hard in high school cause you had to be funny, have the latest clothes, Jordan's in order to be liked.
THANK YOU for posting these words of wisdom. It was well needed.
I Loved this! I so feel Jeannie! For years my family of 3(my mom and sibling) we lived in a small one bedroom apartment! All my mom asked and prayed for continuously was a 3 bedroom house!! (God is so good) and she got it! I remember always being embarrassed in those days, always wondering why in my entire family we were always the ones struggling. Years down the line I went to college. My best friends invited me to visit their home . Little did I know their family of four lived in a one bedroom apartment as well. You just never know what people go through or how they live. We are share the same stories.
Yaaas! Mhmm (:
All the time!
Waiting on Tamera to write a book on relationships..just saying.
+Jessica Varona me too!!
And life in general
Tamera is so much like me!! Literally LOVE HER!
Frllllll she is just like me I don’t kno y ppl don’t like her she just real and ppl cant take realness
Same
This was the most Real segment on the Real!
yup, especially when they can relate and not just give their opinion...the other baggage episode was great too
Tamar's smile when jeannie was talking was priceless!! It seemed so sincere!
tameras' advise stood out to me the most. i am about to turn 21 and i never had a real boyfriend so i worry if i ever find the right guy. my dream is to get married to someone whom i love and who also loves me, i want to be a mom one day, but for now these dreams look kind blurry to me....
We are exactly in the same boat. I use to really stress about, but i figure if it hasn't happened yet, then the time simply isn't right.
Girl I feel the same way...damn
I feel the same way... but I know I shouldn't because I'm only just turning 18. I'm just going to wait and see what college has for me this fall.
preach,but all guys want now is friends with benefits that is terrible and kind of degrading
***** but all guys to want now is friends with benefits that is terrible and kind of degrading
Jeannie's story made me tear up. She was being completely real and honest...and I think her co-stars and everyone hearing her story could feel that moment
I love all 5 of them, they have such sweet hearts.
I really enjoyed this segment...I'm in my 20s now (21 yrs old) and I worry a lot about the things the ladies were talking about. Gotta learn to live in the moment, let stuff go and stop worrying so much! Everything will fall into place.
I'm 19 years old and going through similar issues as well :) Good to know we all share akin stories
you are blessed! you have an opportunity to listen, learn, and apply. I didn't have anyone to tell me at 23 some of these nuggets. Stuff we take for granted #age46
riyan ali
riyan ali Lol that's easier said than done, I'm similar to Tamera in the way that I worry so much! But I'll try to be young and dumb (in a good way) for once in my life :)
I'm 22 and very shy and quiet, so I try to avoid people. People like to laugh at me and sometimes I hear they call me mute and I always worry about what they're saying. I'm realizing that I'm quirky and strange and I can't change myself just to please people who will never be in my life. I'm working on not worrying and focusing on being successful so I can have my my mom quit her two jobs, get us out of debt and just let her experience the world. That's all I really want in life!
I'm the same way!! I don't go out and I kinda stay to myself but I love it!! your not the only one
❤❤❤
@@ashleyfrancis1212 same
I can gladly say that at 25 I'm at the point where I definitely live for myself and I've gotten to the point where society doesn't run me like a puppet. I care less what people think of me and it's nothing to cut a person off because the negativity in my life isn't needed. I came out completely as a bisexual last year and I'm loving it. Either you accept it or you don't. I'm not gonna lose any sleep. My family loves me. My close friends love me. I'm content and happy with that.
If i could tell my younger self anything, I'd tell him to be true to himself and actually LIVE life more. I worried about people way too much growing up.
I would tell my younger self to stand up for herself against bullies! I was bullied so bad that I couldn't even defend myself. I was already being abused at home so the fear crippled me to where I couldn't fight back. If somebody is bullying you TELL SOMEBODY THAT CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!
I love Jeannie's advice!! I can relate!!
I LOVE what jeanie said ❤️❤️ i was in a similar position aswell where i was embarrassed about my home :(
I just turned 20 and I'm really intimidated about moving further and I'm just terrified of failing but because of college I am starting to realize who I am, what I want, and how to work hard to obtain my dreams.
I feel you
Tamera is just such an amazing person. I re-watched her part of this over and over again. I can relate to what she's saying so much and her words are always so comforting.
I am 21 years old going turn 22 in November, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH for this video. Tamera the fact that you wanted to marry at 23 but didn't until 29 and I see from what you share what you have now lets me know the wait is worth it. I really wanted to marry at 19 but it didnt happen and like Tamar said its VERY important to get to know oneself and know how one should be treated. Again thank you and many blessings y'alls way always!
I'm glad I watched this, I'm 23 right now and it's been a really rough year. I'm glad I heard this.
L Johnson oh wow now you’re 27 years old
Actually Tamar's advice kinda relates to me and my situation. I need to get to know myself and be who I am instead of what other people want.
I'm going through this right now too! I'm just trying to figure myself out
Loni, Adrienne, and Tamera's advice is so me really opened up my eyes
This really touched me. Im 21 and married and i feel like idk myself. Im happy with who im with but not happy where I'm at. I feel stuck and afraid, and i worry alot. I guess this is all apart of growing up. Nice to know that im not the only one. And wit time it'll get better.
Hope you find a way through it.
In time you'll figure it out hun, everything doesn't happen in your twenties; accept that fact. Live everyday and don't second guess yourself too much. Worrying wont fix a damn thing. All the best in your marriage.
coco chilli thank u
SimmyZBalla thank you... In time !
i felt the same way when i got married at 23..i was scared because even though i love my husband i felt like i was taking that huge step into marriage way too soon..plus i was a unemployed loan burdened graduate.
I have never seen Tamar cry, so seeing that made it so much more REAL! Loved this segment.
Tamar got me just broke my heart .
I definitely can relate to the girls on their experiences! I wish some of the things I know now, I knew then for my 20 year old self. I can morally relate more to Adrienne. Worrying about what people think can be hard! But now I'm more like ''Chile Bye''! lol Experience is the best Teacher!
I loved this! It honestly reminded me that I need to stop worrying about a lot of things at my age. Good things come in time
I'm 23 years old and I can really relate to what these women was saying. I actually was feeling bad at myself for telling someone that I couldn't be in a relationship with them because I wanted to get to know myself first. And it's ok! Thanks ladies. I love this segment.
This got me emotional. I'm in my 20s and I'm trying to work on just being the best version of myself, and not worrying so much about what other people think of me.