So my inlaw story is when i was pregnant they began inviting people (aunts, cousin's) to watch the delivery. I was so upset I began screaming if I wanted an audience, I would sell tickets! The nurse immediately, and not kindly, ran everyone out and I love her for that.
I really love that OP has been raised with the self esteem to not be a door mat for some random person. As is addressed mant times on this channel: blood does not make family. Once that person abandoned her child (for 15+ years) then makes demands it solidified why they should continue to keep them out of their life. I've found re-meeting bio parents go one of two ways; "You're my child, I love and respect you, so if you choose to continue contact with me I would really like that. Thank you for meeting me, I hope we get the chance to learn more about each other": good ending, almost always works, understands their child is their own person who grew without them. "You are MY child, I brought you into this world, and you should be grateful I did that. You owe me everything you are today, as I made you ": bad ending, hardly every works, insincere for a genuine connection, looking for self gratification (money, bragging rights etc)
Story 1: NTA. Once again the burden of being the "bigger person" is expected of the victimized party instead of the adult woman who abandoned her child
'she was a young person' she was an adult who got disappointed that child-raising was not the hallmark rainbows and puppies image she was imagening and wanted out.
Story 1: did I miss a part of the story where Anna “explained everything”? She said she wanted to meet OP to “explain everything” but all we hear is her demand to be called “mom” and her saying she’s proud of OP’s success. What part of that is explaining anything? This woman should she started with “I’m so sorry for abandoning you!” And then moved to any sort of “explanation” for why she didn’t bother reconnecting with him for 20+ years. What is OP supposed to think other than that she’s reconnecting with him because she wants something/money?
Well, she actually never got to. She started off with it but it was coming out as wanting money which OP stopped her right in her tracks and left. So technically we didn't hear it, but she also didn't bother with it either. She just wants to demand and take
I agree with YOUR take on it If a mother left her child for ''extremely good reasons i cannot think outta the top of my head in seconds for a reason, BUT it happens'' The first thing, I would do is tell my new family, because I am open to welcome this child into the family, or at least have them know about it Going, behind, my family's back, asking for the person i abandoned, the first time i reunite with them after so long to just ''call me mom'' Yet, I have not even told my family about this kid... Then started talking about successes Yeah...we all saw where THAT was going, and we are not going to play the Blind Biddy to it either
Op grew up not knowing his mom wasn’t his real mom! And this woman comes into his life after all these years after abandoning him when she wasn’t a teen mom but in her 20s! And comes in demanding to be called mom and seems to see op’s success like it’s hers when she’s a stranger. Oh and wants op to keep op a secret from her real family who don’t even know about op! Like hey call me mom but never in front of my real family! Oh and I imagine they expected to be a part of all op’s big moments like their wedding and expect to be treated as the groom’s mom when that goes to op’s real mom!
Story 3: NTA. If anything I think you’ve been letting her off easy until now. Those siding with your Daughter can raise her babies, finish doing the excellent job your doing with Opal and retire in peace.
@@samdefalco705 same! Its such a beautiful series and hearing that quote was such an emotional gut punch! its so true to ops circumstance i want to cry
Story 1, OP is NTA. In fact, I think he should find bio-mom’s husband and tell him who he is and what happened. Her new family should know her true colors in case she ever decided to abandon them.
S2. I suspect the reason OPs husband couldn't have kids with wives 1 & 2 was because they took extreme care to NOT get pregnant and ditched his arse asap.
2nd story ....HELLLLOOOOOO INCUBATOR...thats all you are to his mother and him. "their happiness" yeah you are there to simply incubate the children THEY require and it only took 3 marriages by 30 for your husband to find the surrogate for him and mommy dearest. run , stay either way your in for a very bad time from those two. good luck
Story 1: it’s really entitled for Ana to reach out and essentially try and force her way into your life. What if I’m happy? What if I never wondered where she was? Also super weird for her to go around all the family members that *did* stick around.
I just don't like the part where the op lied about not remembering who she was he was 4 years old that's a kindergarten age people go to school at that age I remember everything at the age of 4 it's not like he was 2
@@FS02012 a lie? Lol. not everyone can have photographic memory from their childhood. The only memory I had during kindergarten was being mocked by my classmates for having an accent as a kid while my mom and sister would always remember the time I fought against a bully when I was 4 and I remember none of it. Any other memories I had was lost because of a traumatic event that I had when I was around 7-8 yo. He was abandoned when he was 4. Either it was too traumatic for his growing brain to remember that event or that he was just simply too little to let that memory sink in, it's still normal for him to forget everything from that time and it's been 20+ years for him since.
1st story: OP's aunt adopted OP that means bio-mom had to give up all rights. She doesn't get to come back 2 decades later and want to reconnect when she had 0 contact with OP. OP keep low contact and live your best life without bio-mom.
This wasn't some teenager or kid having a child. She was 22 yrs old. That's an adult. Maybe Anna has changed but OP is still a secret from her husband and other kids. OP owes her nothing. She abandoned him. She was a deadbeat mom to OP. Just because she's a good mom to her other biological kids and wife will never change the fact that as an adult she abandoned her son.
"Anna" didn't have to give up her Parental Rights. By her abandonment of OP when he was 4 years of age, that gives the State the right to forcefully strip her of her rights. By the way this post read, I would say that the State option was the one that actually occurred, not a voluntary relinquishment of her Residual Parental Rights.
Low contact?! NOPE. Go no contact is the best choice. If Anna keep forced OP to have a mother - child relationship with her, OP can go and tell the truth to her new family.
@@naoru942 Yeah, she isn't the slightest bit repentant. She needs to take a lot more steps to show that she's truly changed, such as telling her husband and kids and admitting that she's wrong. The fact that OP's still a secret shows the mom still hasn't acknowledged her wrong.
Story 3 is so insane that I'm absolutely baffled that people like Kelly and the family taking her side actually exist, in what world do people live in where they genuinely think they can force someone to take care of their kid just because they don't want their kid, that is a whole new level of entitlement that I've never even seen before
And in what world do they think that declaring themselves too busy to raise their own get makes it someone else's responsibility to do so in their stead?
Kelly is a pathetic, irresponsible, immature excuse for a adult woman, and a worse excuse for a mother. She needs to be excluded from Opal’s life. Her boyfriend is equally crappy. The family who are supporting Kelly’s delusional entitlement should step up and adopt this new baby.
Yes that world exists and is quite large and is enforced by even the courts and law around the world. Look at how many men are defrauded into caring for affair babies, duped into signing birth certificates and then when they find out after a few years are forced by the court system to remain the baby's caretaker/cash machine.
@@ynmonroe absolutely, who in their right mind thinks they can just force their mother into taking care of a kid that they don't want, absolutely insane to me that people think that way
I've said this before, but it still holds true. Women like this need to keep their knees together until they learn to look after what pops out. Not your child, not your problem. Let's see how long the boyfriend sticks around now he'll have to step up and actually be a father.
I would have totally messaged the mom's husband and been like, "You should keep an eye on your daughters and speak to your neighbors, so she doesn't abandon her other kids with them like she'd abandoned me." then sent like a baby photo of him with his egg donor and blocked them all.
Story 1: anyone that badmouthed OP for their response in this situation, needs to be reminded that he’s been incredibly generous in not telling her replacement family that he exists, and I wouldn’t say a bad word about him if he did. She was a crappy person when she abandoned her, and still is, as she wants to have some kind of secret relationship, and be called mom. Did she screw up her other kids also, make them hate her, and she’s now looking for someone else to call her mom?
Even if you say she was too young at 22, you still got her being 23, 24, 25, 30, 35, 40. etc. Getting her crap together could've came at any moment before then but 20 years after you have a completely new family? Nah. She could've grown up and came back even if you forgive the initial abandonment. Even if people excuse her as a young mother who didn't know better, it's absolutely nonsense against the time she did have to get her act together and come back to her child's life. It's one thing to give him up, it's another to come back and act like she's still his mother.
The main thing is her not even telling her husband. The "call me mom" is pure entitlement and disturbing. I bet she thought OP was so grateful for "mom" to come back to him, she could emotionally hit him up for money. Also note she didn't approach the grandparents and Aunty. Straight to OP... no intention of apologising.
@@philwill0123 Yeah, all of this. Forgiveness can't happen without repentance and OP's mom is far from showing repentance, so OP should still keep her out of his life.
Story 3: what the heck is this madness?! She already de facto abandons one child and expects you to raise another for her? If relatives think family has to take care, then THEY can adopt the child.
Damn!! You beat me to it! I was going to say, Bitchison makes ultimatum, GP attend wedding instead, Bitchison whines to GPs the first time she needs a babysitter, or just wants to dump the kid in them when she needs “free time”. Plus spending massive $$$ on baby gifts is a obligatory.
there is a good chance OPs dad is giving away the bride. as OP stated the brides parents are dead and OPs family is where she spends holidays. So it's not a small thing . OPs parents should 100% skip they will get to help be grand parents to the brides parents and OPs babies.
@Wei Luo Yeah, this is true, though no one knows sure. If someone knowingly cheats with you, it shows their views on cheating, so there's a good chance they'll cheat on you.
@@maryguokas400I was going to say ignore Allison all together. She's not family yet, she just got pregnant by OPs brother. If they ignore her, sooner or later the Brother & Allison are going to break up and be forced into sharing custody.
Seems they did a better job with Opal than they did with Kelly. NTA for calling this POS of a person out! Edit: Anyone on Kelly’s side can raise the kid! Alison is TA but the brother is 110% TA
A Camper for a tiny house- Tell your parents YOU ARE OFFERING TO LET YOUR PARENTS BUY YOUR CAMPER FOR YOUR SISTER AND BROTHER AND THE NEPHEW TO LIVE IN. AND THEY CAN PARK AT MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE. Now, you've given them the ultimate answer: a home of their own, your parents have bailed them out, and You GRACIOUSLY sold them a working camper below market value. Times are tough, and you should be willing to help your family members, but you have every right to make certain they are doing the BEST thing for the whole family; yourself included. Oh, and put your parents in the positiion to Put Up or Shut Up.
Story 1: NTA and you wouldn’t be the A if you blew up her secret in her new life and blocked her on everything. Actions have consequences and maybe it’s time she learned that.
The cousin saying she was an immature kid I'd way off base, she was 22 when she gave birth and 26 when she abandoned him. That's not a kid, she was a full grown adult who should be fully aware what comes with having a child and there are many actual teens ( real kids) that have kids and fully devote themselves to loving, caring for and raising their child.
I think we all know why that dudes 2 prior wives didn't get pregnant 😬 OP needs to f**king run far and run fast. Mummy dearest is his real spouse by the sound of it.
Pregnancy test story is definitely a little creepy and weird and I worry that they are literally saying that its all about the child for them as if you are not important but I'd say if they want the test they can have it. Weird as it is, and ask husband to couples counseling now to ensure he recognises you very real status in this relationship and parenting journey...not just as a womb for hire!!
I see this as just the beginning of op’s troubles with her husband and in-laws, it’s like they see op as their surrogate! They’re already being crazy about the baby like what’s next they’re gunna demand, guilt trip and bully op that their MIL & FIL have to be in the delivery room to experience seeing their grand baby being born?!! Are they gunna dictate everything to do with the baby like op having a natural birth, pick their doctors & hospital, tell op what she can and can’t eat & do while pregnant, go to every appointment, decorate and pick out everything for the nursery or treat the baby shower like it’s theirs calling it out baby shower or will they just have their own?! Or hell are they even gunna make a nursery at their house too and expect they have the baby half the days of the week? Or do they expect that after the baby’s born they’ll stay at op’s house so they can experience and enjoy the baby as soon as they’re born?! Probably claim it’s to help op & husband as new parents. And dictate how op takes care of and raise the baby then how they partner the kid?! I get being excited for the 1st grandkid but the husband and them are taking it too far by acting like it’s all their baby and op is just their surrogate. Hopefully they’re just super excited and after they calm down realize they’re letting all their overwhelming emotions about it get the best of them and will respect op’s boundaries and not be so overwhelming especially since op doesn’t need to stress with them being pregnant
Geese, what the hell is the daughter smoking thinking that her parents will take care of her second kid just like they took care of her first kid? After being a deadbeat for so long. Talk about entitlement. She should not even be or call herself a parent
The family members who think the grandparents should raise the second child, are they willing to step in and raise this child,give up their whole life . What happens when the grandparents get ill,because they will at some point. This daughter needs to grow up . The relatives need to butt out if they are not willing to take the responsibility.
Story 4. Nta tell the other family member to take the child since they care so much. Do not be a doormat op she's needs to be a mother to the baby. Stand ur ground op, consider cutting her off for awhile yall allowed her to believe she could leave her kids with you.
GF sets baby shower on day of old friend's wedding- Call her bluff. Tell her, if she insists on EMOTIONALLY BLACKMALING THE FAMILY, BOTH OF THEM WILL BE CUT OFF AND OUT OF THE WILL. That Lisa will be in the will but not the son. Hang up and block them. Force them to come to you to apologize.
Do you really think if the GPs attend the wedding instead that gf is really going to block them. Hah! She’s going to demand baby shower gifts and then going to turn around and say that GPs should be “babysitters in demand”.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 My apologies for not being succinct: the Parents and Family should block the Son and his Pregnant girlfriend. Force the couple to come to the parents to apologize. The Parents will cut the Couple Off entirely, if they don't move the shower and apologize. No babysitting, no gifts, no inheritance, no holiday gatherings, NOTHING. Cut the couple off completely... and force the son to reevaluate this woman, and his future with her.
Sixty years old and taking care of a newborn? Most people are in their last ten years of life around that time. Do you want an orphan? because that's how you get an orphan.
Story 2: I kept my pregnancy test, only because It took me so long to get pregnant and after seeing so many negative pregnancy test, it was such a wonderful feeling seeing that positive test. I smile everytime i see it eventhough my daughter is 4 i still think of the struggle i had to endure to get her.
@@jackwells8107I THINK, it has ALOT TO DO with His Mother. She WANTS to Have Control of this Child and HE'S A MAMA'S boy. He'll do EVERY THING She talked Him to Do.
Story 1: "You will never forget hearing that from your child". Well, your child would never forget that the very person who should be their fiercest defender and protector is the very same person who abandoning them instead. ETA: Also, who´s to say she has a good job raising her current children? She has a partner now, I wouldn´t be surprised if their dad is the main children caretaker and she just play with them now and then (and post it to social media).
Story 3. You might need to reconsider being with him. You will never be that child mother you will never be able to make decisions for ur child. You would be the doormat if you stay with him. This is only the beginning of the creepy things they will do.
IN story one.. I'd get a lawyer and sue your birth mom for emotional damages. That will teach her the real consequences and shock her completely. She's heartless!
Anna was old enough to make the decision to abandon her child. She was old enough to still not be there for her son. It is not the responsibility for OP to give Anna a chance because she didn't want him and still doesn't. She reaps what she sows: nothing.
OP needs to RIGHT NOW lay down hard boundaries with her husband and MIL. This starts with getting the pregnancy test back from the MIL. These boundaries need to be drilled in and understood. If her husband and MIL don’t get it, OP needs to get out and potentially go to another state while she is pregnant to protect her child from these odd people.
It’s not necessarily wrong to keep keepsakes, could be nice even. But to do it behind OP back is creepy. Husband should have in it past OP first. I’m sensing some serious boundary stomping in the future.
I agree on setting the boundaries but I think everyone over reacted. Call me crazy but op got super upset by a literal peice of trash. Is it weird yes but to feel violated because of an object you threw away is a bit much. I'm not condoning the sneaking around bit I think that was wrong and should be addressed. Also finding it weird is completely acceptable but to cause a huge argument over something you were just gonna toss is childish to me
@@fishbowl5308 normally I would agree but there is an overall sense from both the MIL and the husband that the OP is an ends to a means. I would have personally been beyond irritated if my husband (now ex) had given his mother a pregnancy test. It is gross and disgusting. Also while you are pregnant I do understand the feeling of being violated but it really more boils down to overstepping.
@@fishbowl5308 you want someone collecting your used kleenexes from the trash and turning them into a keepsake I mean cmon you were throwing it out anyway...🤷♀️
My guess is the thought is 'if they help there is no chance they are gonna ask me because I think they should get help but i don't wanna spend my money/resources'
YOU’RE THROWING AWAY YOUR GRANDCHILD. She says..as she throws away her child. I am 100% pro-choice. If Kelly chooses to have the baby she can find suitable parents.
Last story: If you only have one room, and want privacy, get a piece of thick fabric, and hang it up so part of the room feels more private. Simples. It was so telling when they didn't like OP''s tent suggestion, because a tent would be too temporary.
You can wonder if it is really the son who wants privicy lol. als why can't the son get a part-time job and help his parents get out or the family can pool money and help pay for a apartment
There are a LOT of places a tent would only be temporary, because you'd be arrested for making a child live outside during the winter in a tent. And do you really want to leave your house unlocked all night, because keeping the kid from toilet access would also be a reason to call CPS.
OP has every right to defend the actions after being left for twenty five years. You can't come back to a person's life and expect things to be put back into place. You definitely don't deserve to be called a parent.
Story 1: NTA. Give your Mom a big hug for me and tell that woman she can’t abandon a child and then expect to pick the relationship back up 20 years later. Even if she’s not after money or whatever (Doubtful) she is clearly not matured. A mature person would have told her Husband and not try getting you to call her “Mom”.
Story 4: NTA. You know what’s going to change that crap starters tune real quick? No one showing up. She is clearly a petty and manipulative woman and if the relationship lasts I’ll be surprised. Wish your friend the best of luck on her big day for me. And flip your Brothers GF for me.
Don't worry about your parents. Allison ( and more importantly your brother ) will not want to cut contact with his parents over a baby shower that is clearly a test.
Yep! She's choosing the battle ground and is waiting to see who turns up for the fight. This isn't a playground game where everybody gets to pick a side, this is a baby being weaponised by a stupid, stupid woman. Do not, under any circumstances, allow her to win or she'll pull this crap again and again.
OP you are NTA, but I agree with others that you shouldn't give your parents any ultimatums. Instead show them your post and everyone's responses. Let them see that most think that This will be the 1st of many situations where Allison will try to manipulate them and use their grandchild(ren) as pawns. They will hopefully go to Lisa's wedding, and make your brother aware that they do not appreciate Allison trying to manipulate/blackmail them in this way. They need to tell him that he better remember that if Allison goes through with this crazy demand, then he better remember later that she is the reason why his child(ren) don't have a relationship with his family. I feel brother and Allison will cave sooner rather than later when they want or need your parents to babysit.😉😂😂😂 Edit to add: Also those banned from seeing the baby should not send gifts. 2 can play at manipulations. You want a gift? We want to see the baby. Also have your parents make it on their terms from the get go. Don't cave one little bit, they need to let Allison know, they will not be playing her game by her rules.
My grandma put up with a lot to keep her grandchildren together, even it was harmful to herself and her grandchildren (bio m is a narcissist, and her other children ain't worth a damn). What people are asking Opal's grandparents to do is a set up for a cycle from Kelly. Kelly should've been cut off a long time ago. It's not "keeping the family together," it's forcing the family to go through unnecessary hurt. Opal and her grandparents don't deserve that just because Kelly's pregnant. Kelly need to learn to use a condom.
OP and Eddy are NOT TAHs! As a grandmother who has tried to keep her grandchildren in good home life situations, I totally get where they are coming from. Kelly at 17 was a selfish, self centered child who only thought of herself, her friends and having fun....living her life. Nothing her parents could say or do would have had an impact on that self centered child. At 33, Kelly unfortunately never grew up, she is still that selfish, self centered child. Bravo for OP and Eddy for telling Kelly in front of witnesses how it was really going to be, and that she needed to grow up. They need to remind Kelly that she threw away Opal, and was negligent in getting pregnant a second time if she wasn't going to step up and be a responsible parent. They've done their part, Kelly and her BF can look to his family to raise his child if they aren't going to step up and be parents. They should have also discussed with Kelly what causes pregnancies, and tell her to keep her legs closed if she doesn't want to mother any children. Also OP and Eddy should have a do over dinner celebration with Opal, with just the 3 of them this time.
Camper: NTA. You can always ask for a large security deposit which would turn them off. I understand they went through hard times but they’ve been living practically rent free for over a year and still can’t move out? There is definitely someone who needs to get a job and help the family unit. I pity the poor soul who kindly offered temporary lodging and was duped, and now they want to use the yard too. Op, he asked to borrow. You said no. There’s no need to offer an explanation because it’s none of their business why you refuse PERIOD. As for mom and dad, “I would ask that you mind your own business if you don’t want to ruin our relationship”
RE: Baby Shower The parents should stand up and say "You knew what this date means to us and you either put a stop to this nonsense or you will receive ZERO aid and/or assistance from us regarding your situation." Otherwise their capitulation will end up in lifelong blackmail situations.
Camper story happened in my family. It was borrowed. When needed the camper needed a repair which took a time. Asked again for it back, another repair. Again a long time. 3 years later the owner in the family just gave up. The kicker, well if you give up on it just give us the title. That actually happened. The camper was sold a week later and original owner was out $3,500.
How in the hell could anybody be on Kelly's side? She's 33 and thinks her parents will raise all of her kids. Who would think that's okay? Besides Kelly of course.
Story 2: NTA. … They wanted a memento of your pregnancy so they chose a urine soaked pee stick!?! Not like a picture or something? 😖. And the pregnancy is more about you than it will ever be for them!
It's weird but this is his first child after 10 years of trying and took a pee stick out of the trash to remember the joy of seeing the positive. Also many mother will keep part of the umbilical cord from the birth and I think that's worse than a pee stick
@@angelthefallen3 yeah but that has her DNA in it. Pee has DNA. While it’s an MIL I wouldn’t trust my dna with anyone but a medical professional. When it’s in the trash it’s compacted and burned
@@angelthefallen3 It’s disgusting because he did it behind her back. People like to often claim that their trash behavior is no big deal, when they don’t tell people upfront about what they intend to do. Because they know that others would be weirded out and find it to be a big deal. He know what he did is disgusting.
@@Cnichal I agree he should have been up front about it but I think he made bad decisions because of emotions. I don't excuse what he did I can just see why and how his thoughts aligned to the decisions and dont think he's some evil master mind only there to breed and ditch her. This is his baby moment too
Abandoning your kids and try to being buddy buddy with him after 20 years of neglection? Yeahh, he absolutely missed you so much and will happily greet you with open arms. Lol
Final story: if OP's parents are so gung ho on sharing the camper, let them sign a contract with collateral if/when the nephew damages it. Or simply get a shed and insulate it. The teen will probably have more room that way
they have no intention of moving anytime soon else they wouldn't be pushing so hard for the camper. another thought : is the camper actually for the son, or for them to live in / move into
Just a tip for anyone with a camper they don't want stolen. Get a length of scaffolding pole, bury it in concrete with about 1 foot above the ground and weld a towing bracket on top. Attach the camper to the towing bracket and padlock the release handle. We do this with our trailers and haven't had one stolen yet.
@@PeterShipley1 he described it as a "canned ham" style camper. Those are generally smaller than a single bedroom in a house. So it's highly unlikely a couple and their teenage son will be okay downsizing.
He has it. They want it. They're not going to stop until they get it. If the nephew gets it he'll trash it. He's got no reason not to. Easy come easy go with his parents teaching him.
There's no change in the world that would keep me away from my children for 20 years without talking to him no there's something totally wrong here she went into that other marriage acting like a virgin and she didn't want anybody to know that she was tainted goods
Ask her for a small amount of money and see how fast “mom” changes tunes and runs away. Send the husband a letter, explaining everything about who you are and how he needs to watch his back.
Story 1: My mother was 22 when she had me. I wasn't planned. But she loved and cared for my. So the excuse of her being "immature young person" is bullshit. She did 1 thing right for you, leaving. Now don't let her back in.
Second story. Wow, sure would love an update on this pregnant brood mare. How sad, the MIL is going to be her biggest nightmare EVER. Hoping she thinks long and hard about staying with her husband.
They adopted Opal because their daughter was only 17 when she had her, she's 33 stop having kids if u don't want them, as for the family giving OP a hard time let them raise the baby,and the all the expenses that go with it .
Go to Lisa's wedding. Allison is ALWAYS going to use her child as a way to get what she wants. Today it's Lisa's wedding, what will it be next? Every 10 minutes for the grandchild's life, Allison will be threatening "You can't see your grandchild anymore unless I can have my own way."
Story two: If they are behaving this way over your pregnancy test, they'll be worse during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. They are already trying to take control and ride rough-shod over your feelings. You are just a vessel for them getting what they want. Establish your boundaries and maintain them with the response for further violations being you AND your child going no contact.
It’s just a pregnancy test that she literally discarded. They’re just excited. The mother has been waiting ten years for her first grand baby and the husband knew she’d treasure the test more than the wife would, so what’s the big deal? It sounds like she overreacted just because it had pee on it. If she wanted to keep the test and the mom took it that’s one thing, but she didn’t. The wife definitely overreacted. YTA.
@@Ari6lle1nWonderl2nd After ten years of wanting grandchildren, and two divorces because the women couldn't get pregnant, OP is going to live in a NOMIL nightmare! She would be only as good as the children she provides, thus she needs to either set boundaries or leave since the hubby is spineless. She's NTA and I feel sorry for the kid.
Doesn matter if her birther was a young person. A 20 year time span is irreversable. At best they could eventually develop a cordial relationship if mom was super humble.
Pregnancy test as a keepsake: Just... just print out a picture of the test? GROSS. The litmus paper inside the pregnancy test will eventually wear out anyway, and will no longer show the positive indicator. Maybe OP can trade her for one of her clean menstrual pads or tampons to symbolize she won't be needing these for the next while; it'll be just as weird and gross without literal bio-waste being involved.
Story 2) I would just leave. Or if I felt strongly about it I would have the procedure to get rid of it. The redditers are right. You don't mean anything to your husband or his mother. Like your husband said, "it's all about the baby". It doesn't matter to them, to them all you are is an incubator.
So many of these stories I've heard with the updates. Why don't you do the final outcome to these? Or do separate ones, finished stories, and another of no updates
Story 3: Look. It was very clear that Opal being with her mother was going to harm her long term, so it was better for the kid for her to be raised by OP... Unfortunately, that option also ended up reinforcing Kelly's behavior. OP. YOU are both NTA and AH. Only becauae you never gave Kelly the full concequences for her actions. Was there child support? When Kelly was in the process of moving out, was there any discussiont of Kelly taking her? Yes, Kelly needed this reality check...over a decade ago. You also created this situation. But youre not wrong FINALLY standing up for yourself. But 'Better Late than Never' has its limits.
Yyyeah... waltzes back into OP's life, doesn't want to acknowledge OP to her new family, He's her dirty little secret after all. Then they start talking about OP's "Success". She was about to put the touch in. ZERO doubt. That's the ONLY reason a total stranger would suddenly show up on his doorstep. Why not last week? Last month? Last year? She's only there now because something has changed. OP's life hasn't changed so it must be hers. She's married with two kids, and suddenly she wants her first born, BUT wants to keep him secret. so SHE hasn't changed. She NEEDS something, and it isn't OP. So what's left? MONEY!!
Story 1. NTA I was also adopted by my great aunt, but unlike OP I knew I was adopted and my birth mother would come around. To see how I was give me presents even my grandparents on that side I even have an older brother who I live with now, my grandparents took care of him though.
Good grief, she was 22, not sixteen. That’s more than old enough to understand parental duties; such as not to abandon your child on a neighbour’s doorstep. She’s also more than old enough now to understand that she just can’t pop back in two decades later, out of nowhere, and instantly demand a secret, doting and close mother-child relationship. This reeks of the same entitlement she had when she dumped him as a toddler.
Pregnancy story: OP better get used to the idea that in husband, MIL, And probably everyone else’s eyes, she is no longer a person. She’s just an incubator.
And Kelly is the perfect example of why you cannot enable that the first time they do it because they’ll just keep expecting you to take on their bad decisions
Last story - Have your family sign a legal contract stating that they will return it in same condition as when loaned and will face monetary compensation for any damage. Also state it will be returned upon request. Take thorough pictures or video of the condition of camper. If family think it is too harsh, ask if that means they had no plans to return it in the same condition.
Story one: call her husband and her kids and tell them everything. Tell them how she abandoned you and traumatized you. Lie your ass off and ruin her life.
Don't lend your camper out. He'll destroy your camper and not be able to afford paying for it. Change your locks and make sure they can't "borrow" it. Just because they gave him a tent doesn't mean they won't stop.
Update on the last story: The sister and husband were kicked out for having illegal substances in the home and getting aggressive with the owner. The nephew ended up moving in with OOP and stayed in the backyard in a tent that was spacious and worked for him.
So my inlaw story is when i was pregnant they began inviting people (aunts, cousin's) to watch the delivery. I was so upset I began screaming if I wanted an audience, I would sell tickets! The nurse immediately, and not kindly, ran everyone out and I love her for that.
Delivery nurses are so often the hero’s of the day always running out crazy family
I hope you went NC with these xxxxxx!
lmfaoo ... sell them tickets ..why is this so funny dammit XD
That never happened
@@anymous8407 yes it did
Story 1: If she is still trying to hide you from her new family, she hasn't changed one bit.
What new family? Is there one?
Exactly
I really love that OP has been raised with the self esteem to not be a door mat for some random person. As is addressed mant times on this channel: blood does not make family. Once that person abandoned her child (for 15+ years) then makes demands it solidified why they should continue to keep them out of their life.
I've found re-meeting bio parents go one of two ways;
"You're my child, I love and respect you, so if you choose to continue contact with me I would really like that. Thank you for meeting me, I hope we get the chance to learn more about each other": good ending, almost always works, understands their child is their own person who grew without them.
"You are MY child, I brought you into this world, and you should be grateful I did that. You owe me everything you are today, as I made you ": bad ending, hardly every works, insincere for a genuine connection, looking for self gratification (money, bragging rights etc)
Truth.
@@lamwen03 1:09 OP mentions his mother has a husband and two little girls and that her husband doesn't know.
Story 1: NTA. Once again the burden of being the "bigger person" is expected of the victimized party instead of the adult woman who abandoned her child
'she was a young person' she was an adult who got disappointed that child-raising was not the hallmark rainbows and puppies image she was imagening and wanted out.
1st story, She's changed? No she hasn't even told her husband about you.
She's lucky she didn't land in jail for child abandonment.
Story 1: The biological mother is lucky if she was not prosecuted for child abandonment.
Also lucky OP didn't threaten to put her on blast to the unknowing husband and other kids.
@@ynmonroe yet…
@@ynmonroe Her husband and other kids would then wonder if she would ditch them as easily as she did her first child.
@@ynmonroei would make sure the husband knows cause there's a chance if she gets tired of her other kids she'll abandon them too.
Story 1: did I miss a part of the story where Anna “explained everything”? She said she wanted to meet OP to “explain everything” but all we hear is her demand to be called “mom” and her saying she’s proud of OP’s success. What part of that is explaining anything? This woman should she started with “I’m so sorry for abandoning you!” And then moved to any sort of “explanation” for why she didn’t bother reconnecting with him for 20+ years.
What is OP supposed to think other than that she’s reconnecting with him because she wants something/money?
I thought it would turn out she wanted a kidney.
@@mattwho81 or that she or the new husband had cheated she is in the middle of a divorce and needed money/a place to stay for her and her kids.
Well, she actually never got to. She started off with it but it was coming out as wanting money which OP stopped her right in her tracks and left. So technically we didn't hear it, but she also didn't bother with it either. She just wants to demand and take
I agree with YOUR take on it
If a mother left her child for ''extremely good reasons i cannot think outta the top of my head in seconds for a reason, BUT it happens''
The first thing, I would do is tell my new family, because I am open to welcome this child into the family, or at least have them know about it
Going, behind, my family's back, asking for the person i abandoned, the first time i reunite with them after so long to just ''call me mom''
Yet, I have not even told my family about this kid...
Then started talking about successes
Yeah...we all saw where THAT was going, and we are not going to play the Blind Biddy to it either
Op grew up not knowing his mom wasn’t his real mom! And this woman comes into his life after all these years after abandoning him when she wasn’t a teen mom but in her 20s! And comes in demanding to be called mom and seems to see op’s success like it’s hers when she’s a stranger. Oh and wants op to keep op a secret from her real family who don’t even know about op! Like hey call me mom but never in front of my real family! Oh and I imagine they expected to be a part of all op’s big moments like their wedding and expect to be treated as the groom’s mom when that goes to op’s real mom!
Story 3: NTA. If anything I think you’ve been letting her off easy until now. Those siding with your Daughter can raise her babies, finish doing the excellent job your doing with Opal and retire in peace.
And be sure to back up Opal when Kelly decides that when Opal is eighteen she can raise the little half-sibling.
OOOF the redditor who whipped out The Good Place quote got it SPOT ON. I felt that in my soul!
I LOVE the good place, one of my favorite shows of all time
@@samdefalco705 same! Its such a beautiful series and hearing that quote was such an emotional gut punch! its so true to ops circumstance i want to cry
@@glass9137 I assume you also cried during the finale?
Which quote was that? I don’t watch the show and now I’m curious.
@@samdefalco705 bawled so hard i got a headache 😭
Story 1, OP is NTA. In fact, I think he should find bio-mom’s husband and tell him who he is and what happened. Her new family should know her true colors in case she ever decided to abandon them.
S2. I suspect the reason OPs husband couldn't have kids with wives 1 & 2 was because they took extreme care to NOT get pregnant and ditched his arse asap.
Can't blame them for that I would too if I was in their shoes
I would’ve went out of my way to find the husband and tell them EVERYTHING
2nd story ....HELLLLOOOOOO INCUBATOR...thats all you are to his mother and him. "their happiness" yeah you are there to simply incubate the children THEY require and it only took 3 marriages by 30 for your husband to find the surrogate for him and mommy dearest. run , stay either way your in for a very bad time from those two. good luck
Story 1: it’s really entitled for Ana to reach out and essentially try and force her way into your life. What if I’m happy? What if I never wondered where she was? Also super weird for her to go around all the family members that *did* stick around.
I just don't like the part where the op lied about not remembering who she was he was 4 years old that's a kindergarten age people go to school at that age I remember everything at the age of 4 it's not like he was 2
@@FS02012 a lie? Lol. not everyone can have photographic memory from their childhood. The only memory I had during kindergarten was being mocked by my classmates for having an accent as a kid while my mom and sister would always remember the time I fought against a bully when I was 4 and I remember none of it. Any other memories I had was lost because of a traumatic event that I had when I was around 7-8 yo. He was abandoned when he was 4. Either it was too traumatic for his growing brain to remember that event or that he was just simply too little to let that memory sink in, it's still normal for him to forget everything from that time and it's been 20+ years for him since.
Oh look at mr perfect memory here
@@FS02012 Um, no. Just because YOU remember a lot doesn't mean OP lied. I don't remember most of my childhood, even into my teens I have gaps.
@@FS02012 Looking at it, she has only vague memories of what happened so she may have learned about that incident as an adult.
1st story: OP's aunt adopted OP that means bio-mom had to give up all rights. She doesn't get to come back 2 decades later and want to reconnect when she had 0 contact with OP. OP keep low contact and live your best life without bio-mom.
This wasn't some teenager or kid having a child. She was 22 yrs old. That's an adult. Maybe Anna has changed but OP is still a secret from her husband and other kids. OP owes her nothing. She abandoned him. She was a deadbeat mom to OP. Just because she's a good mom to her other biological kids and wife will never change the fact that as an adult she abandoned her son.
"Anna" didn't have to give up her Parental Rights. By her abandonment of OP when he was 4 years of age, that gives the State the right to forcefully strip her of her rights. By the way this post read, I would say that the State option was the one that actually occurred, not a voluntary relinquishment of her Residual Parental Rights.
Low contact?! NOPE. Go no contact is the best choice. If Anna keep forced OP to have a mother - child relationship with her, OP can go and tell the truth to her new family.
@@naoru942 Yeah, she isn't the slightest bit repentant. She needs to take a lot more steps to show that she's truly changed, such as telling her husband and kids and admitting that she's wrong. The fact that OP's still a secret shows the mom still hasn't acknowledged her wrong.
@@akl2k7 She would never do it. Because in her head, she didn't do anything wrong.
Story 3 is so insane that I'm absolutely baffled that people like Kelly and the family taking her side actually exist, in what world do people live in where they genuinely think they can force someone to take care of their kid just because they don't want their kid, that is a whole new level of entitlement that I've never even seen before
And in what world do they think that declaring themselves too busy to raise their own get makes it someone else's responsibility to do so in their stead?
Kelly is a pathetic, irresponsible, immature excuse for a adult woman, and a worse excuse for a mother. She needs to be excluded from Opal’s life.
Her boyfriend is equally crappy.
The family who are supporting Kelly’s delusional entitlement should step up and adopt this new baby.
Yes that world exists and is quite large and is enforced by even the courts and law around the world. Look at how many men are defrauded into caring for affair babies, duped into signing birth certificates and then when they find out after a few years are forced by the court system to remain the baby's caretaker/cash machine.
@@ynmonroe absolutely, who in their right mind thinks they can just force their mother into taking care of a kid that they don't want, absolutely insane to me that people think that way
I've said this before, but it still holds true. Women like this need to keep their knees together until they learn to look after what pops out. Not your child, not your problem. Let's see how long the boyfriend sticks around now he'll have to step up and actually be a father.
I would have totally messaged the mom's husband and been like, "You should keep an eye on your daughters and speak to your neighbors, so she doesn't abandon her other kids with them like she'd abandoned me." then sent like a baby photo of him with his egg donor and blocked them all.
Kelly and her bf should have gotten themselves fixed if they couldn’t be bothered to raise a child.
Kelly needs a reality check
Story 1: anyone that badmouthed OP for their response in this situation, needs to be reminded that he’s been incredibly generous in not telling her replacement family that he exists, and I wouldn’t say a bad word about him if he did.
She was a crappy person when she abandoned her, and still is, as she wants to have some kind of secret relationship, and be called mom. Did she screw up her other kids also, make them hate her, and she’s now looking for someone else to call her mom?
I do have something I think OP did wrong.
When OP left the coffee shop, he should have told her, "I'll be back in an hour."
@@rogerrabbit80 💀💀💀
Absolutely kick her to the curb as she did to you.
@@rogerrabbit80 🤣🤣🤣
Even if you say she was too young at 22, you still got her being 23, 24, 25, 30, 35, 40. etc. Getting her crap together could've came at any moment before then but 20 years after you have a completely new family? Nah. She could've grown up and came back even if you forgive the initial abandonment. Even if people excuse her as a young mother who didn't know better, it's absolutely nonsense against the time she did have to get her act together and come back to her child's life. It's one thing to give him up, it's another to come back and act like she's still his mother.
The main thing is her not even telling her husband. The "call me mom" is pure entitlement and disturbing. I bet she thought OP was so grateful for "mom" to come back to him, she could emotionally hit him up for money. Also note she didn't approach the grandparents and Aunty. Straight to OP... no intention of apologising.
@@philwill0123 Yeah, all of this. Forgiveness can't happen without repentance and OP's mom is far from showing repentance, so OP should still keep her out of his life.
I was 20 when my first child was born. I didn't dump him and run off for 20 years. Her age had nothing to do with her abandoning her child.
Story 3: what the heck is this madness?! She already de facto abandons one child and expects you to raise another for her? If relatives think family has to take care, then THEY can adopt the child.
About Allison - she isn't going to cut off the grandparents for attending the wedding; she is going to demand gifts and baby sitting no matter what!
Damn!! You beat me to it! I was going to say, Bitchison makes ultimatum, GP attend wedding instead, Bitchison whines to GPs the first time she needs a babysitter, or just wants to dump the kid in them when she needs “free time”. Plus spending massive $$$ on baby gifts is a obligatory.
there is a good chance OPs dad is giving away the bride. as OP stated the brides parents are dead and OPs family is where she spends holidays. So it's not a small thing . OPs parents should 100% skip they will get to help be grand parents to the brides parents and OPs babies.
@Wei Luo Yeah, this is true, though no one knows sure. If someone knowingly cheats with you, it shows their views on cheating, so there's a good chance they'll cheat on you.
@@maryguokas400I was going to say ignore Allison all together. She's not family yet, she just got pregnant by OPs brother. If they ignore her, sooner or later the Brother & Allison are going to break up and be forced into sharing custody.
Tell the mother to be, no visitation = no possible college fund, nor inheritance of family money! LOL
Seems they did a better job with Opal than they did with Kelly. NTA for calling this POS of a person out! Edit: Anyone on Kelly’s side can raise the kid!
Alison is TA but the brother is 110% TA
A Camper for a tiny house- Tell your parents YOU ARE OFFERING TO LET YOUR PARENTS BUY YOUR CAMPER FOR YOUR SISTER AND BROTHER AND THE NEPHEW TO LIVE IN. AND THEY CAN PARK AT MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE. Now, you've given them the ultimate answer: a home of their own, your parents have bailed them out, and You GRACIOUSLY sold them a working camper below market value. Times are tough, and you should be willing to help your family members, but you have every right to make certain they are doing the BEST thing for the whole family; yourself included. Oh, and put your parents in the positiion to Put Up or Shut Up.
Story 1: NTA and you wouldn’t be the A if you blew up her secret in her new life and blocked her on everything. Actions have consequences and maybe it’s time she learned that.
Honestly I hope her “new family” see the Reddit post and put the pieces together.
The cousin saying she was an immature kid I'd way off base, she was 22 when she gave birth and 26 when she abandoned him. That's not a kid, she was a full grown adult who should be fully aware what comes with having a child and there are many actual teens ( real kids) that have kids and fully devote themselves to loving, caring for and raising their child.
The moment you know you're only a broodmare for Granny and your husband. Poor OP is looking at her future, and it ain't pretty.
Somebody saves your pee on a stick, they do NOT get to call YOU controlling.
should have found the husband and let him know what she did.
That's what I'm saying. Warn him about what he's married to, save him the shock of finding out when she gets tired of being mommy again and bails out.
I think we all know why that dudes 2 prior wives didn't get pregnant 😬 OP needs to f**king run far and run fast. Mummy dearest is his real spouse by the sound of it.
Pregnancy test story is definitely a little creepy and weird and I worry that they are literally saying that its all about the child for them as if you are not important but I'd say if they want the test they can have it. Weird as it is, and ask husband to couples counseling now to ensure he recognises you very real status in this relationship and parenting journey...not just as a womb for hire!!
I see this as just the beginning of op’s troubles with her husband and in-laws, it’s like they see op as their surrogate! They’re already being crazy about the baby like what’s next they’re gunna demand, guilt trip and bully op that their MIL & FIL have to be in the delivery room to experience seeing their grand baby being born?!!
Are they gunna dictate everything to do with the baby like op having a natural birth, pick their doctors & hospital, tell op what she can and can’t eat & do while pregnant, go to every appointment, decorate and pick out everything for the nursery or treat the baby shower like it’s theirs calling it out baby shower or will they just have their own?!
Or hell are they even gunna make a nursery at their house too and expect they have the baby half the days of the week? Or do they expect that after the baby’s born they’ll stay at op’s house so they can experience and enjoy the baby as soon as they’re born?! Probably claim it’s to help op & husband as new parents. And dictate how op takes care of and raise the baby then how they partner the kid?!
I get being excited for the 1st grandkid but the husband and them are taking it too far by acting like it’s all their baby and op is just their surrogate. Hopefully they’re just super excited and after they calm down realize they’re letting all their overwhelming emotions about it get the best of them and will respect op’s boundaries and not be so overwhelming especially since op doesn’t need to stress with them being pregnant
Geese, what the hell is the daughter smoking thinking that her parents will take care of her second kid just like they took care of her first kid? After being a deadbeat for so long. Talk about entitlement. She should not even be or call herself a parent
My parents took in the second. Their choice. They did not take the 3rd. Like the story too old to be starting over.
The family members who think the grandparents should raise the second child, are they willing to step in and raise this child,give up their whole life . What happens when the grandparents get ill,because they will at some point. This daughter needs to grow up . The relatives need to butt out if they are not willing to take the responsibility.
Story 4. Nta tell the other family member to take the child since they care so much. Do not be a doormat op she's needs to be a mother to the baby. Stand ur ground op, consider cutting her off for awhile yall allowed her to believe she could leave her kids with you.
GF sets baby shower on day of old friend's wedding- Call her bluff. Tell her, if she insists on EMOTIONALLY BLACKMALING THE FAMILY, BOTH OF THEM WILL BE CUT OFF AND OUT OF THE WILL. That Lisa will be in the will but not the son. Hang up and block them. Force them to come to you to apologize.
Do you really think if the GPs attend the wedding instead that gf is really going to block them. Hah! She’s going to demand baby shower gifts and then going to turn around and say that GPs should be “babysitters in demand”.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 My apologies for not being succinct: the Parents and Family should block the Son and his Pregnant girlfriend. Force the couple to come to the parents to apologize. The Parents will cut the Couple Off entirely, if they don't move the shower and apologize. No babysitting, no gifts, no inheritance, no holiday gatherings, NOTHING. Cut the couple off completely... and force the son to reevaluate this woman, and his future with her.
Sixty years old and taking care of a newborn? Most people are in their last ten years of life around that time. Do you want an orphan? because that's how you get an orphan.
Story 2: I kept my pregnancy test, only because It took me so long to get pregnant and after seeing so many negative pregnancy test, it was such a wonderful feeling seeing that positive test. I smile everytime i see it eventhough my daughter is 4 i still think of the struggle i had to endure to get her.
That's what it sounds like happened with the husband, if he'd been trying to have a child for 10 years with no luck.
@@jackwells8107I THINK, it has ALOT TO DO with His Mother. She WANTS to Have Control of this Child and HE'S A MAMA'S boy. He'll do EVERY THING She talked Him to Do.
Story 1: "You will never forget hearing that from your child". Well, your child would never forget that the very person who should be their fiercest defender and protector is the very same person who abandoning them instead.
ETA: Also, who´s to say she has a good job raising her current children? She has a partner now, I wouldn´t be surprised if their dad is the main children caretaker and she just play with them now and then (and post it to social media).
Story 3. You might need to reconsider being with him. You will never be that child mother you will never be able to make decisions for ur child. You would be the doormat if you stay with him. This is only the beginning of the creepy things they will do.
IN story one.. I'd get a lawyer and sue your birth mom for emotional damages. That will teach her the real consequences and shock her completely. She's heartless!
Anna was old enough to make the decision to abandon her child. She was old enough to still not be there for her son. It is not the responsibility for OP to give Anna a chance because she didn't want him and still doesn't. She reaps what she sows: nothing.
OP needs to RIGHT NOW lay down hard boundaries with her husband and MIL. This starts with getting the pregnancy test back from the MIL. These boundaries need to be drilled in and understood. If her husband and MIL don’t get it, OP needs to get out and potentially go to another state while she is pregnant to protect her child from these odd people.
It’s not necessarily wrong to keep keepsakes, could be nice even. But to do it behind OP back is creepy. Husband should have in it past OP first. I’m sensing some serious boundary stomping in the future.
I agree on setting the boundaries but I think everyone over reacted. Call me crazy but op got super upset by a literal peice of trash. Is it weird yes but to feel violated because of an object you threw away is a bit much. I'm not condoning the sneaking around bit I think that was wrong and should be addressed. Also finding it weird is completely acceptable but to cause a huge argument over something you were just gonna toss is childish to me
@@fishbowl5308 normally I would agree but there is an overall sense from both the MIL and the husband that the OP is an ends to a means. I would have personally been beyond irritated if my husband (now ex) had given his mother a pregnancy test. It is gross and disgusting. Also while you are pregnant I do understand the feeling of being violated but it really more boils down to overstepping.
@@fishbowl5308 you want someone collecting your used kleenexes from the trash and turning them into a keepsake I mean cmon you were throwing it out anyway...🤷♀️
How is it all these people's families think they have a say in anything their relatives do?
My guess is the thought is 'if they help there is no chance they are gonna ask me because I think they should get help but i don't wanna spend my money/resources'
Its all about the baby for him and his mom. He was looking for an incubator not a partner
I would start worrying if they are gonna keep the placenta after the birth in a jar of strong water as a 'keepsake' 🤢
YOU’RE THROWING AWAY YOUR GRANDCHILD. She says..as she throws away her child. I am 100% pro-choice. If Kelly chooses to have the baby she can find suitable parents.
I'm just spiteful enough that if I was OP in story 1, I'd tell the replacement kids and her husband what dear old mom did 21 years ago.
Last story: If you only have one room, and want privacy, get a piece of thick fabric, and hang it up so part of the room feels more private. Simples. It was so telling when they didn't like OP''s tent suggestion, because a tent would be too temporary.
You can wonder if it is really the son who wants privicy lol. als why can't the son get a part-time job and help his parents get out or the family can pool money and help pay for a apartment
There are a LOT of places a tent would only be temporary, because you'd be arrested for making a child live outside during the winter in a tent. And do you really want to leave your house unlocked all night, because keeping the kid from toilet access would also be a reason to call CPS.
A blanket wall? If I'm remembering correctly, that is a plot device in an old Cary Grant movie, "It happened one night."
OP has every right to defend the actions after being left for twenty five years. You can't come back to a person's life and expect things to be put back into place. You definitely don't deserve to be called a parent.
Story 1: NTA. Give your Mom a big hug for me and tell that woman she can’t abandon a child and then expect to pick the relationship back up 20 years later. Even if she’s not after money or whatever (Doubtful) she is clearly not matured. A mature person would have told her Husband and not try getting you to call her “Mom”.
Thanks again XOS. Have a great day
Story 4: NTA. You know what’s going to change that crap starters tune real quick? No one showing up. She is clearly a petty and manipulative woman and if the relationship lasts I’ll be surprised. Wish your friend the best of luck on her big day for me. And flip your Brothers GF for me.
Don't worry about your parents. Allison ( and more importantly your brother ) will not want to cut contact with his parents over a baby shower that is clearly a test.
Not to mention that if she cuts contact with you, you a don ‘r have to gift her & baby anything.
Yep! She's choosing the battle ground and is waiting to see who turns up for the fight. This isn't a playground game where everybody gets to pick a side, this is a baby being weaponised by a stupid, stupid woman. Do not, under any circumstances, allow her to win or she'll pull this crap again and again.
OP you are NTA, but I agree with others that you shouldn't give your parents any ultimatums. Instead show them your post and everyone's responses. Let them see that most think that This will be the 1st of many situations where Allison will try to manipulate them and use their grandchild(ren) as pawns. They will hopefully go to Lisa's wedding, and make your brother aware that they do not appreciate Allison trying to manipulate/blackmail them in this way. They need to tell him that he better remember that if Allison goes through with this crazy demand, then he better remember later that she is the reason why his child(ren) don't have a relationship with his family. I feel brother and Allison will cave sooner rather than later when they want or need your parents to babysit.😉😂😂😂
Edit to add: Also those banned from seeing the baby should not send gifts. 2 can play at manipulations. You want a gift? We want to see the baby. Also have your parents make it on their terms from the get go. Don't cave one little bit, they need to let Allison know, they will not be playing her game by her rules.
@@thecoolgrandma7208 this so much! Baby Allison is the one who’s gonna cave without free babysitters and gifts!
I wish you guys would do follow-ups. So many good stories I’ve would love to hear how they end.
My grandma put up with a lot to keep her grandchildren together, even it was harmful to herself and her grandchildren (bio m is a narcissist, and her other children ain't worth a damn). What people are asking Opal's grandparents to do is a set up for a cycle from Kelly. Kelly should've been cut off a long time ago. It's not "keeping the family together," it's forcing the family to go through unnecessary hurt. Opal and her grandparents don't deserve that just because Kelly's pregnant. Kelly need to learn to use a condom.
OP and Eddy are NOT TAHs! As a grandmother who has tried to keep her grandchildren in good home life situations, I totally get where they are coming from. Kelly at 17 was a selfish, self centered child who only thought of herself, her friends and having fun....living her life. Nothing her parents could say or do would have had an impact on that self centered child. At 33, Kelly unfortunately never grew up, she is still that selfish, self centered child. Bravo for OP and Eddy for telling Kelly in front of witnesses how it was really going to be, and that she needed to grow up. They need to remind Kelly that she threw away Opal, and was negligent in getting pregnant a second time if she wasn't going to step up and be a responsible parent. They've done their part, Kelly and her BF can look to his family to raise his child if they aren't going to step up and be parents. They should have also discussed with Kelly what causes pregnancies, and tell her to keep her legs closed if she doesn't want to mother any children. Also OP and Eddy should have a do over dinner celebration with Opal, with just the 3 of them this time.
The abandoned child should introduce themselves to mom's new family.
Camper: NTA. You can always ask for a large security deposit which would turn them off.
I understand they went through hard times but they’ve been living practically rent free for over a year and still can’t move out? There is definitely someone who needs to get a job and help the family unit. I pity the poor soul who kindly offered temporary lodging and was duped, and now they want to use the yard too. Op, he asked to borrow. You said no. There’s no need to offer an explanation because it’s none of their business why you refuse PERIOD. As for mom and dad, “I would ask that you mind your own business if you don’t want to ruin our relationship”
Kelly is plainly insane. Poor Opal.
RE: Baby Shower
The parents should stand up and say "You knew what this date means to us and you either put a stop to this nonsense or you will receive ZERO aid and/or assistance from us regarding your situation."
Otherwise their capitulation will end up in lifelong blackmail situations.
Camper story happened in my family. It was borrowed. When needed the camper needed a repair which took a time. Asked again for it back, another repair. Again a long time. 3 years later the owner in the family just gave up. The kicker, well if you give up on it just give us the title. That actually happened. The camper was sold a week later and original owner was out $3,500.
Should have sold it out from under them, as is.
**who** is willing to throw the baby away, Kelly?
How in the hell could anybody be on Kelly's side? She's 33 and thinks her parents will raise all of her kids. Who would think that's okay? Besides Kelly of course.
Story 2: NTA. … They wanted a memento of your pregnancy so they chose a urine soaked pee stick!?! Not like a picture or something? 😖. And the pregnancy is more about you than it will ever be for them!
It's weird but this is his first child after 10 years of trying and took a pee stick out of the trash to remember the joy of seeing the positive. Also many mother will keep part of the umbilical cord from the birth and I think that's worse than a pee stick
They don’t want the wife she’s just there to produce the family some babies
@@angelthefallen3 yeah but that has her DNA in it. Pee has DNA. While it’s an MIL I wouldn’t trust my dna with anyone but a medical professional. When it’s in the trash it’s compacted and burned
@@angelthefallen3 It’s disgusting because he did it behind her back. People like to often claim that their trash behavior is no big deal, when they don’t tell people upfront about what they intend to do. Because they know that others would be weirded out and find it to be a big deal. He know what he did is disgusting.
@@Cnichal I agree he should have been up front about it but I think he made bad decisions because of emotions. I don't excuse what he did I can just see why and how his thoughts aligned to the decisions and dont think he's some evil master mind only there to breed and ditch her. This is his baby moment too
Abandoning your kids and try to being buddy buddy with him after 20 years of neglection?
Yeahh, he absolutely missed you so much and will happily greet you with open arms. Lol
The moment you abandon your kid the parent role is no longer yours
Final story: if OP's parents are so gung ho on sharing the camper, let them sign a contract with collateral if/when the nephew damages it. Or simply get a shed and insulate it. The teen will probably have more room that way
they have no intention of moving anytime soon else they wouldn't be pushing so hard for the camper.
another thought : is the camper actually for the son, or for them to live in / move into
Just a tip for anyone with a camper they don't want stolen. Get a length of scaffolding pole, bury it in concrete with about 1 foot above the ground and weld a towing bracket on top. Attach the camper to the towing bracket and padlock the release handle. We do this with our trailers and haven't had one stolen yet.
@@PeterShipley1 he described it as a "canned ham" style camper. Those are generally smaller than a single bedroom in a house. So it's highly unlikely a couple and their teenage son will be okay downsizing.
You might want to put the trailer on blocks and remove the wheels to prevent them from just making off with it.
He has it. They want it. They're not going to stop until they get it. If the nephew gets it he'll trash it. He's got no reason not to. Easy come easy go with his parents teaching him.
There's no change in the world that would keep me away from my children for 20 years without talking to him no there's something totally wrong here she went into that other marriage acting like a virgin and she didn't want anybody to know that she was tainted goods
parents wanting camper for their son, is further proof they have no intention of moving anytime soon
Ask her for a small amount of money and see how fast “mom” changes tunes and runs away.
Send the husband a letter, explaining everything about who you are and how he needs to watch his back.
Afternoon XO!
Story 1:NTA in all hopes kinda want a update see how it goes if OP still refuses to see bio mum.
Both Alison and OP's brother ain't s#&t! She gets mad when the attention isn't on her and the brother allows her to disrespect his family.
Story 1: My mother was 22 when she had me. I wasn't planned. But she loved and cared for my. So the excuse of her being "immature young person" is bullshit. She did 1 thing right for you, leaving. Now don't let her back in.
Second story. Wow, sure would love an update on this pregnant brood mare. How sad, the MIL is going to be her biggest nightmare EVER. Hoping she thinks long and hard about staying with her husband.
They adopted Opal because their daughter was only 17 when she had her, she's 33 stop having kids if u don't want them, as for the family giving OP a hard time let them raise the baby,and the all the expenses that go with it .
Go to Lisa's wedding. Allison is ALWAYS going to use her child as a way to get what she wants. Today it's Lisa's wedding, what will it be next? Every 10 minutes for the grandchild's life, Allison will be threatening "You can't see your grandchild anymore unless I can have my own way."
story # 2 HUGE CREEPY VIBES AND PRIVACY INVASION dont let them get away with that shit or it will get worse OP
1 story: I’d tell her not to contact me or I’ll tell her husband her secret
“Weddings are a once in a lifetime thing” LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Kelly is a trash person for putting her parents in this situation, they old leave them alone 😔.
Story two: If they are behaving this way over your pregnancy test, they'll be worse during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. They are already trying to take control and ride rough-shod over your feelings. You are just a vessel for them getting what they want. Establish your boundaries and maintain them with the response for further violations being you AND your child going no contact.
It’s just a pregnancy test that she literally discarded.
They’re just excited. The mother has been waiting ten years for her first grand baby and the husband knew she’d treasure the test more than the wife would, so what’s the big deal?
It sounds like she overreacted just because it had pee on it.
If she wanted to keep the test and the mom took it that’s one thing, but she didn’t. The wife definitely overreacted. YTA.
@@Ari6lle1nWonderl2nd
After ten years of wanting grandchildren, and two divorces because the women couldn't get pregnant, OP is going to live in a NOMIL nightmare! She would be only as good as the children she provides, thus she needs to either set boundaries or leave since the hubby is spineless.
She's NTA and I feel sorry for the kid.
Doesn matter if her birther was a young person. A 20 year time span is irreversable. At best they could eventually develop a cordial relationship if mom was super humble.
Story 2. OP needs to get out of there; and get a lawyer to demand return of her pregnancy test.
Pregnancy test as a keepsake: Just... just print out a picture of the test? GROSS. The litmus paper inside the pregnancy test will eventually wear out anyway, and will no longer show the positive indicator. Maybe OP can trade her for one of her clean menstrual pads or tampons to symbolize she won't be needing these for the next while; it'll be just as weird and gross without literal bio-waste being involved.
Story 2)
I would just leave. Or if I felt strongly about it I would have the procedure to get rid of it. The redditers are right. You don't mean anything to your husband or his mother. Like your husband said, "it's all about the baby". It doesn't matter to them, to them all you are is an incubator.
If Anna had changed, her husband would know she had another child.
So many of these stories I've heard with the updates. Why don't you do the final outcome to these? Or do separate ones, finished stories, and another of no updates
Story 3:
Look. It was very clear that Opal being with her mother was going to harm her long term, so it was better for the kid for her to be raised by OP...
Unfortunately, that option also ended up reinforcing Kelly's behavior.
OP. YOU are both NTA and AH. Only becauae you never gave Kelly the full concequences for her actions.
Was there child support? When Kelly was in the process of moving out, was there any discussiont of Kelly taking her?
Yes, Kelly needed this reality check...over a decade ago.
You also created this situation. But youre not wrong FINALLY standing up for yourself. But 'Better Late than Never' has its limits.
Yyyeah... waltzes back into OP's life, doesn't want to acknowledge OP to her new family, He's her dirty little secret after all. Then they start talking about OP's "Success".
She was about to put the touch in.
ZERO doubt.
That's the ONLY reason a total stranger would suddenly show up on his doorstep.
Why not last week? Last month? Last year?
She's only there now because something has changed.
OP's life hasn't changed so it must be hers.
She's married with two kids, and suddenly she wants her first born, BUT wants to keep him secret. so SHE hasn't changed.
She NEEDS something, and it isn't OP.
So what's left?
MONEY!!
Story 1. NTA I was also adopted by my great aunt, but unlike OP I knew I was adopted and my birth mother would come around. To see how I was give me presents even my grandparents on that side I even have an older brother who I live with now, my grandparents took care of him though.
Good grief, she was 22, not sixteen. That’s more than old enough to understand parental duties; such as not to abandon your child on a neighbour’s doorstep. She’s also more than old enough now to understand that she just can’t pop back in two decades later, out of nowhere, and instantly demand a secret, doting and close mother-child relationship. This reeks of the same entitlement she had when she dumped him as a toddler.
Pregnancy story: OP better get used to the idea that in husband, MIL, And probably everyone else’s eyes, she is no longer a person. She’s just an incubator.
if you can't raise a baby, then don't have a baby. And don't think "Maybe" if you can't feed your baby. -Michael Jackson
TNMI. Just because they’re the grandparents doesn’t necessarily at they’re obligated to raise an able bodied adult child kids.
Story 1: OP, call ger husband explain to him who you really are then wait for the Fireworks.
And Kelly is the perfect example of why you cannot enable that the first time they do it because they’ll just keep expecting you to take on their bad decisions
Camper story- dude, they make hitch locks
I’m calling it! Anna wants either money, to save face cause someone found out, or she needs some kind of organ or something for the future
...10 years and they kept a pee stick
If op didn't make a counter ultimatum they wouldn't go-to the wedding tho
Last story - Have your family sign a legal contract stating that they will return it in same condition as when loaned and will face monetary compensation for any damage. Also state it will be returned upon request. Take thorough pictures or video of the condition of camper. If family think it is too harsh, ask if that means they had no plans to return it in the same condition.
Story one: call her husband and her kids and tell them everything. Tell them how she abandoned you and traumatized you. Lie your ass off and ruin her life.
Don't lend your camper out. He'll destroy your camper and not be able to afford paying for it. Change your locks and make sure they can't "borrow" it. Just because they gave him a tent doesn't mean they won't stop.
Update on the last story:
The sister and husband were kicked out for having illegal substances in the home and getting aggressive with the owner. The nephew ended up moving in with OOP and stayed in the backyard in a tent that was spacious and worked for him.