How To Be A Hockey Player

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  • Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024

Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @Dennis_S1000RR
    @Dennis_S1000RR 5 лет назад +593

    0:32
    you might have forgotten "The one, shooting so high, that everyone is afraid to screen the goalie"

    • @gavinthegamer4934
      @gavinthegamer4934 5 лет назад +19

      I love this fucking comment so much. Every team has that one asshole

    • @Dennis_S1000RR
      @Dennis_S1000RR 5 лет назад +7

      @@gavinthegamer4934 in my Team it was me😂

    • @chiaraaqmarina.d1078
      @chiaraaqmarina.d1078 5 лет назад +1

      In my team MOST of the forward players shoot high, VERY high. And I hate screening the goalie,. I'm slowly plotting their demise ...

    • @cosmiceggs2385
      @cosmiceggs2385 5 лет назад

      Shooting high in front of the players or in general?

    • @beans6232
      @beans6232 5 лет назад +2

      Dennis Spengler as a goalie this is equally not fun

  • @jonasoesterle2639
    @jonasoesterle2639 5 лет назад +316

    “Google me, three games Junior B”😂😂

  • @chazzcrowchild6726
    @chazzcrowchild6726 9 лет назад +2111

    I've been playing hockey all my life and this video is the dead truth

    • @SamGautreau7
      @SamGautreau7 9 лет назад +8

      true

    • @jmlacrosse9797
      @jmlacrosse9797 8 лет назад +1

      even apple

    • @icutey685
      @icutey685 8 лет назад +2

      +JM Lacrosse what is apple i have played hockey my entire life and i have NO idea

    • @DeeRakGaming
      @DeeRakGaming 8 лет назад +3

      +I Cutey assist

    • @icutey685
      @icutey685 8 лет назад +2

      Awwww thx D_james04​

  • @KarMa-lx6oq
    @KarMa-lx6oq 6 лет назад +344

    "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird." *i am dead.*

  • @OneTeeGlory
    @OneTeeGlory 5 лет назад +422

    Always get the French guy as mad as possible. Yes, even if he’s on your team.

    • @DeepDiveHockey
      @DeepDiveHockey 3 года назад +4

      Lmfao 😂

    • @vinny9196
      @vinny9196 3 года назад

      @@DeepDiveHockey year late bud

    • @jack41396
      @jack41396 3 года назад +5

      Omg stop to say that we are French, it’s like if we compare you to Americans

    • @OneTeeGlory
      @OneTeeGlory 3 года назад +2

      @@jack41396 That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. It’s not comparing someone to anything to point out they speak French. That’s just factual information lol

    • @chl_ca
      @chl_ca 3 года назад

      you mean from Quebec?

  • @PavelBarber
    @PavelBarber 10 лет назад +1246

    hahahah
    "Good game. Good game. Good game. Fuck you. Good game. "
    Been there!

  • @PrashantKhanolkarUSA
    @PrashantKhanolkarUSA 4 года назад +64

    3:08 r.i.p. Kobe

  • @stevenniebow9404
    @stevenniebow9404 8 лет назад +1548

    You forgot the guy who never comes off the ice with his line.

    • @youtubeonmyphone537
      @youtubeonmyphone537 8 лет назад +85

      Fucking hate that guy or the defence man that think he is bobby Orr and always rushes and never passes

    • @Bugattilover39
      @Bugattilover39 8 лет назад +2

      So true

    • @jubby1551
      @jubby1551 7 лет назад +4

      THATS MEEE! I'm just great

    • @kakanalexgamer231
      @kakanalexgamer231 7 лет назад +2

      Thats me

    • @edboy484
      @edboy484 7 лет назад +3

      And the guy who comes of the ice way before the rest of his line

  • @CottageCheese77
    @CottageCheese77 5 лет назад +130

    “Learn how to stop”
    Proceeds to turn

  • @smokeyyy3731
    @smokeyyy3731 5 лет назад +38

    0:56 omg that made me laugh so hard it’s just the way he said it 😂😂

  • @Zachhhx
    @Zachhhx 9 лет назад +401

    Celly by drinking out of the goalie's bottle when you score on him.

    • @thelossbloodlock
      @thelossbloodlock 9 лет назад +54

      Celly drinking out of the goalie's bottle by having your nose broken by a blocker.

    • @Zachhhx
      @Zachhhx 9 лет назад +42

      Worth it

    • @Ryan-jt2sp
      @Ryan-jt2sp 9 лет назад +9

      Lol then get a unsportsmanlike like Brendan Leipsic

    • @revolutionwheels7105
      @revolutionwheels7105 9 лет назад +21

      You forgot the most key part.
      Celly by drinking out of the goalie's bottle when you score on him and spitting it in his face. Always leads to a good time had BY ALL.

    • @EMPtaticz
      @EMPtaticz 9 лет назад +1

      Zachhhx very worth it man

  • @DeeAy09
    @DeeAy09 10 лет назад +70

    "fuckin google me" dead

  • @coleblight7723
    @coleblight7723 10 лет назад +136

    Had so much fun shooting this. Thanks IFHT for letting me help! You guys did an amazing job!

    • @ifhtfilms
      @ifhtfilms  10 лет назад +2

      Thanks Cole! You were born an ever-so-bright shining star

    • @andrewb6832
      @andrewb6832 8 лет назад +1

      +IFHT great vid. but that comment to your friend, i hope is funny locker room shit. akward or cole is ill and im an idiot. keep your stick on the ice.

    • @beefbrother6641
      @beefbrother6641 8 лет назад

      +Andrew B my nhl won't save how do I fix this

    • @andrewb6832
      @andrewb6832 8 лет назад +3

      +Beefbrother if they dont find you handsome, should find you handy.

  • @lukaskrtek5212
    @lukaskrtek5212 5 лет назад +27

    2:17 Jaromír Jágr and Czech flag

  • @awood1604
    @awood1604 5 лет назад +26

    "Get off your knees, you're blowing the game" That's funny!

  • @jarrodfromohio
    @jarrodfromohio 9 лет назад +746

    call everyone "boys"

    • @TurfDoe
      @TurfDoe 7 лет назад +12

      Cause hockey is #fortheboys

    • @aidendion796
      @aidendion796 6 лет назад +1

      Jarrod Persinger You mean boyz 😂😂😂😂🏒🥅

    • @sagej8069
      @sagej8069 6 лет назад +19

      even my all girls team calls each other boys... so

    • @minimariit6243
      @minimariit6243 5 лет назад +5

      Yeah dude I’m a girl and when other girls go hey THERES A GIRL HERE NOT JUST BOYS I back up like eyy the boys out number us let him just say boys

    • @sylviataratuta321
      @sylviataratuta321 5 лет назад +7

      “alrighty boys..... and girl.....”

  • @svenondabeat1133
    @svenondabeat1133 10 лет назад +300

    Instructions not clear, I became canadian

    • @max-lx5gq
      @max-lx5gq 6 лет назад +10

      Oxymorphone after playing hockey for a year I was full Canadian *eh*

    • @somkeshav4143
      @somkeshav4143 6 лет назад +1

      what's this aboot?

    • @PhanicSound
      @PhanicSound 6 лет назад

      I Am Canadian

    • @aloneboarder
      @aloneboarder 6 лет назад

      That's a good one

  • @MrFlamesFan12
    @MrFlamesFan12 10 лет назад +99

    Now this video is a beaut!

  • @toewsheggedal5788
    @toewsheggedal5788 5 лет назад +25

    “AlL CoMe On ReF yOu SPiLeD mY BeEr”

  • @nurgalizhalel3003
    @nurgalizhalel3003 4 года назад +16

    2:24 - Welcome to the club, buddy!

  • @sjag1938
    @sjag1938 9 лет назад +219

    Step #31 Dont forget the goalies. Yeah there weird but hey, there goaloes.

  • @personM4N
    @personM4N 10 лет назад +249

    Don't be the guy at drop-in with a full on replica NHL jersey.

  • @29anonymouse
    @29anonymouse 10 лет назад +32

    use hockey talk at the dinner table, such as "hey mom sauce me the peas you fucking beaut"

  • @paula-tg2wm
    @paula-tg2wm 8 лет назад +17

    one time I was playing hockey when I was like 6 and I just gave up in the middle of the game I sat down on the ice and didn't get up until the game was over.

  • @catiemickey7027
    @catiemickey7027 9 лет назад +110

    You missed "don't be a bender"

  • @Helvigster
    @Helvigster 8 лет назад +56

    LOL, in NHL 2K7, Bob Cole actually pronounces it Alexender Semin's last name Semen.

  • @g.lallen1443
    @g.lallen1443 9 лет назад +43

    "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird" lmao😂

  • @femaledasher9060
    @femaledasher9060 6 лет назад +62

    The thing about the tape is true. I am always the only person with tape.

    • @thatautistichockeygirl303
      @thatautistichockeygirl303 2 года назад

      I know right! I literally have an extra roll with a bunch of little tiny peices on it. I’m an asshole lol

  • @2wenty7even95
    @2wenty7even95 7 лет назад +458

    Ive seen coupons save more than you, ive seen a dead bird chirp better😂😂😂

    • @claytonw0518
      @claytonw0518 6 лет назад +5

      Revo Kuivjõgi wow you can’t spell either talk the talk but can’t walk the walk

    • @koozy613
      @koozy613 6 лет назад

      Sarah Ray Everytime I score, WHERE DID TGE PUCK GO?!!! Ppl get pissed at me

    • @koozy613
      @koozy613 6 лет назад

      shrek wazowski I’ve heard better roast from a dead bird

    • @ArtursJ
      @ArtursJ 5 лет назад +4

      @@koozy613 yeah lets just completely ruin the original chirp by replacing a word and making the chirp not make any sense.

    • @nikkeisimmer8795
      @nikkeisimmer8795 5 лет назад

      @@koozy613 You mean you've gotten better roasts out of a road-killed cow.

  • @bertholdthoover6758
    @bertholdthoover6758 10 лет назад +17

    "The soccer player" OMG I'm dying. I have played soccer for 10 years, but that was incredibly accurate

  • @TheSportsLot
    @TheSportsLot 9 лет назад +619

    Lol. Ive heard better chirps from a dead bird

    • @xxrage_madxxtheboss7419
      @xxrage_madxxtheboss7419 9 лет назад +5

      Ur not Cpt. Obvious we all heard it in the video if we Aachen the whole video dumbass

    • @TheSportsLot
      @TheSportsLot 9 лет назад +12

      whats up your ass man. Chill. Go to your happy place.

    • @Brody55
      @Brody55 8 лет назад

      From my dead bird*

    • @leafeon1198
      @leafeon1198 8 лет назад +2

      *birds chirping in the distance*

    • @gabez9541
      @gabez9541 8 лет назад +1

      Get REEEEEKKKKKTTTTT

  • @emmiecressman9488
    @emmiecressman9488 8 лет назад +10

    "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird" is my new favourite chirp

  • @jayson7136
    @jayson7136 4 года назад +2

    I love coming back to this video once a year or so. Also rip Kobe

  • @kingofstuff1732
    @kingofstuff1732 5 лет назад +26

    Step four, you forgot the infamous try hard, the speed demon, and the one who never runs out of energy

    • @tryhardquesadila
      @tryhardquesadila 3 года назад

      And the bender

    • @jackchadwick645
      @jackchadwick645 2 года назад

      And the guy who can skate pretty fast but always shoots the puck over the net

  • @JD-pe4vg
    @JD-pe4vg 5 лет назад +9

    Played hockey all my life. This video is great! Everything is so true especially the last one in the handshake line. Classic

  • @liamschmidt6775
    @liamschmidt6775 10 лет назад +16

    fight at every whistle

  • @eelilohi2954
    @eelilohi2954 8 лет назад +18

    still watching this in 2016

    • @ethen1772
      @ethen1772 5 лет назад

      watching this in 2019

  • @autumo_
    @autumo_ 4 года назад +3

    “Bonus points if you say *Kobe* “
    That hit *hard*

  • @threethrushes
    @threethrushes 9 лет назад +41

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that someone will always - ALWAYS - wear yellow skate laces.

  • @ayrtongupta9024
    @ayrtongupta9024 10 лет назад +5

    "Hey tendie i've seen more saves on a coupon". "I've heard better chirps from a dead bird" LOL

  • @maddogmatt44
    @maddogmatt44 10 лет назад +6

    this deserves to be one of the highest viewed videos on youtube! i'm in fucking tears! this is so on point!

  • @kayvalencourt
    @kayvalencourt 5 лет назад +12

    "If you can fight, you can play hockey"
    -Somebody who has never seen ice in person but freaking loves hockey (Aka me)

  • @silence.speaks7000
    @silence.speaks7000 4 года назад +1

    I’ve been “playing” hockey for about a year and a half but I’ve never enrolled in a league, but now I have and my first game is tomorrow. I had to come back to this video

  • @Jewzilian
    @Jewzilian 10 лет назад +37

    Be sure to always call your teammates "boys."

    • @hockeygirl903
      @hockeygirl903 10 лет назад +4

      So true! I'm always considered one of the boys!

  • @Sens23Bruins
    @Sens23Bruins 10 лет назад +9

    Yeah, I played three games Jr. B and had a beauty gino, t-dragged some plug d-man and niped cheddar with my clap bomb, then the fuckin' bush league zebra threw me in the box for cellying to hard.

  • @rhibrown8015
    @rhibrown8015 9 лет назад +5

    "Good game... good game... fuck you... good game." Yup, I'm using that

  • @quinnengel5164
    @quinnengel5164 Месяц назад

    Such an iconic video, whenever this pops up on my recommended page never skip it

  • @vincentstuchly8021
    @vincentstuchly8021 7 лет назад +3

    2:16 Czech republic flag? I am so proud! :DD

  • @colintobias8758
    @colintobias8758 10 лет назад +4

    Great video, I think the most fun and final step is to relive the entire game after the game up in the bar and laugh at how slow the players look on the ice in the game after yours. There's no way we're that slow, right?

  • @wafflecountry550
    @wafflecountry550 8 лет назад +9

    you forgot to say to the ref "I've seen better refs at foot locker" and when somebody's hogging ice "must be nice to skate"

  • @flexWT
    @flexWT 6 лет назад +6

    2:52 can't get more true than that hahahaha

  • @modernsolutions4521
    @modernsolutions4521 5 лет назад +2

    The one thing i love about hockey is how all teams are the same on the ice and in the dressing room

  • @brettcrane9651
    @brettcrane9651 3 года назад +2

    I've played hockey my entire life , this is all 100% acurate

  • @jimichunga21
    @jimichunga21 10 лет назад +4

    "fuckin google me. 3 games junior b."

  • @MrSam2497
    @MrSam2497 9 лет назад +43

    is it really hard to say pekka rinne as english?

  • @michaelaron3777
    @michaelaron3777 8 лет назад +20

    I fucking swear everything in this video is exactly me

  • @TheDeathopper
    @TheDeathopper 5 лет назад +7

    Letterkenny makes so much more sense now

  • @bardib3459
    @bardib3459 4 года назад +5

    3:08
    rip kobe

  • @NikkeCB97
    @NikkeCB97 10 лет назад +4

    30 reasons why i love hockey!

  • @Morl0ck77
    @Morl0ck77 9 лет назад +16

    Most important : Be Canadian

    • @valentinacelikovic
      @valentinacelikovic 6 лет назад

      Morl0ck77 trueeee

    • @emilbylund9766
      @emilbylund9766 6 лет назад +1

      Nooo sweden man world champs 2 Times’ ina row

    • @astrarus
      @astrarus 5 лет назад

      Be Russian

    • @vwlsrstpdhi9466
      @vwlsrstpdhi9466 5 лет назад

      Андрей Семёнов ever seen Miracle?

    • @kayvalencourt
      @kayvalencourt 5 лет назад

      Exqueez me sir but I'll ya that I am American and I love hockey.

  • @PatonJark
    @PatonJark 10 лет назад +5

    You forgot the Chewers. Grinders, dusters. The guy that never passes. And mr sorry

  • @gvm.markgraf
    @gvm.markgraf 3 года назад +5

    1:27 is this guy adding another layer of tape to his stick

    • @brandonstone0574
      @brandonstone0574 3 года назад +2

      He is too Distracted talking about Junior B 🤣🤣

  • @Syr_aviation
    @Syr_aviation 6 лет назад +11

    4:10 me when I lose a game

  • @yuh6094
    @yuh6094 8 лет назад +7

    0:02 you forgot to remove the keypoint things with the green dots

    • @paleosabre
      @paleosabre 4 года назад +1

      Disjointed Salad Jesus Christ man relax, he’s just giving criticism

    • @vazter6945
      @vazter6945 4 года назад

      Just Another Jurassic Park Fan na fam he deserves it
      (Jk)

  • @justinbayliff4134
    @justinbayliff4134 8 лет назад

    Possibly the greatest video on RUclips

  • @ggastons
    @ggastons 4 года назад +2

    3:08 RIP Kobe

  • @Benshasky
    @Benshasky 5 лет назад +5

    4:29 So relatable LOL

  • @VLASIKPICKLES
    @VLASIKPICKLES 10 лет назад +4

    You forgot the term "Sauce"

  • @robertwilson9870
    @robertwilson9870 10 лет назад +5

    Forgot the beer in the penalty box.

  • @chl_ca
    @chl_ca 3 года назад +1

    this makes me wanna start playing hockey

  • @savannah9041
    @savannah9041 5 месяцев назад

    I love how it gets progressively more chaotic

  • @GrapeJuiceIII
    @GrapeJuiceIII 7 лет назад +5

    Tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of this video

    • @GrapeJuiceIII
      @GrapeJuiceIII 7 лет назад +4

      hey look, today is the 3 year anniversary of this video

    • @LGP_-om4bm
      @LGP_-om4bm 7 лет назад +3

      Grape Juice III not one year. Three years

    • @GrapeJuiceIII
      @GrapeJuiceIII 7 лет назад

      PENSFAN _8771 fuck

  • @bigj6582
    @bigj6582 8 лет назад +7

    You gotta go bardownsky

  • @baguette3392
    @baguette3392 5 лет назад +2

    theres nothing that feels better then getting on the ice straight after the zamboni finishes

  • @leoncampa
    @leoncampa 3 года назад

    The handshake part at the end is 100% spot on.

  • @gas0005007Maria
    @gas0005007Maria 10 лет назад +5

    Omg this is soo true XD i love the soccer player

  • @tomstreek9186
    @tomstreek9186 10 лет назад +9

    you missed how to celly

  • @Jack-oh8fr
    @Jack-oh8fr 7 лет назад +2

    I love how he says the names of the hockey players.

  • @CentralPASirens
    @CentralPASirens 7 лет назад +2

    4:08 there's always that one person that I want to do that to in the soccer line.

  • @christinabober6477
    @christinabober6477 10 лет назад +28

    Well, let's just say you forgot everything about goalies. But that was about the normal amount of inclusion we get.

    • @NotTruant1125
      @NotTruant1125 9 лет назад +9

      "Shit Backup Goalies Say" check that one out

    • @PhotobombGaming
      @PhotobombGaming 9 лет назад +2

      They could add this: "whenever your a goalie and get scored on, completely rage. You will for then on be an official member of the Tukka Rask fan club

    • @WristFreeze97
      @WristFreeze97 9 лет назад

      Raidergator *Tuukka Rask *you're completely, i have seen him rage 3 times when he has let goals in, and 2 of them shouldn't count.

    • @PhotobombGaming
      @PhotobombGaming 9 лет назад

      The Duppe I have no idea what you just said.

    • @WristFreeze97
      @WristFreeze97 9 лет назад

      Raidergator Reading the message should help a bit

  • @TheMrPeteChannel
    @TheMrPeteChannel 8 лет назад +54

    You forgot to mention the word of Don Cherry is infallible. Follow his lead.

  • @WhiteCanada1
    @WhiteCanada1 10 лет назад +5

    Make sure ya gotta Canadian accent because Lord knows we don't lose 5 nothin for bronze haha

  • @quinnrishor9237
    @quinnrishor9237 Год назад

    "Get off your knees ref, you're blowing the game." XD

  • @justingreene6805
    @justingreene6805 8 лет назад +1

    As someone who plays all the time this is the finest video I've ever seen
    Hilarious

  • @ganiisness
    @ganiisness 8 лет назад +4

    I miss hockey

    • @ganiisness
      @ganiisness 8 лет назад

      Also this video is so true

  • @salainenpuurokauha933
    @salainenpuurokauha933 8 лет назад +6

    Pekka Rinne is from finland omg torilla tavataan❤️😎

    • @macrodic1898
      @macrodic1898 6 лет назад

      salainen puurokauha you mean tortilla land

    • @pineapplepie5590
      @pineapplepie5590 5 лет назад

      @@macrodic1898 tortilla?

    • @macrodic1898
      @macrodic1898 5 лет назад

      Pineapple pie t-o-r-t-i-l-l-a l-a-n-d

    • @RaffeRider
      @RaffeRider 5 лет назад

      @@macrodic1898 www.tortillaland.com/ Mehiko !

  • @Spahsticles
    @Spahsticles 10 лет назад +17

    Didn't know Lucic was in the video, recognized him in line at the end of the video

  • @mcdalenas9339
    @mcdalenas9339 4 года назад +1

    3:05 2020 - RIP KOBE

  • @petergoesbardownski
    @petergoesbardownski 4 года назад

    The sixth anniversary of this how to be a (blank) what a legend this video is

  • @AlexM19135
    @AlexM19135 4 года назад +4

    You missed one, having a Canadian accent😂

  • @cartersampson2862
    @cartersampson2862 9 лет назад +6

    You missed the bender

  • @paulbennett9219
    @paulbennett9219 9 лет назад +6

    In the handshake be like:
    Good game
    Good game
    Good game
    You suck
    Good game

  • @skakjscbsnjs7625
    @skakjscbsnjs7625 4 года назад

    The guy at 4:09 showed some inspirational sportsmanship

  • @grimper35
    @grimper35 7 лет назад

    IFHT vids are pretty much always great. but this one is my favorite.

  • @CODNHALOGAMEPLAY
    @CODNHALOGAMEPLAY 10 лет назад +6

    You missed sauce

  • @kellyluciano8453
    @kellyluciano8453 8 лет назад +4

    you frogot step 18

  • @johnl2116
    @johnl2116 8 лет назад +3

    185 people didn't even play one game in Junior B

  • @zbigniewtomczynski
    @zbigniewtomczynski 6 лет назад

    Love the way you prounanced Krzysztof Oliwa.

  • @Shadow12aven
    @Shadow12aven 5 лет назад +1

    I've played hockey since I was 3 years old and Step 20 is BY FAR the most accurate statement to ever exist since Newtonian Physics.

  • @eatmyasseatmyass6788
    @eatmyasseatmyass6788 10 лет назад +4

    Make sure no one touches your goaly