My husband died on hospice a month ago. He was in a nursing home because I couldn't lift him and he was very sick. But I came and visited him for hours everyday. I brought soft food for him to eat and took him out side. I love him more than anything in the whole world including myself and I sang to him too. I miss him so much. He was my everything ❤-- One of his nurses who took care of him was a special blessing. Her name is Sylvia ❤ --
Sending you a hug & and prayer my husband passed & the grief caused me to not be able to eat or sleep for months. The cortisone dump from the grief causes it. Please believe me it will get easier. 🙏🙏🙏 Mrs Z.
This happened in the hospital with my husband. He had lung cancer and was in his second round of chemo when he couldn’t breathe they sent for an ambulance which took him to the hospital. He had a DNR and a DNI and I understood that and I held firm. I did, however inform them that he had been taking morphine for the pain and needed morphine at that point in time. They couldn’t find a Doctor Who would OK the morphine. So instead, my family and I watched as their father, my husband suffocated in a great deal of distress, instead of being medicated and being able to drift off easily. This was 21 years ago. I will never forget it. I will never forgive the hospital for not grabbing any doctor and getting him to OK morphine. Plus his oncologist had told us that whenever he asked for morphine that meant he needed it and to give it to him. I logged every bit that I gave him and when I gave it to him and took that list to the hospital with me. The nurses took a look at it, shook their head, and told me that I was giving him too much that it was disabling him from being able to breathe.I have had to live with that for 21 years and more to come. I’m sorry you had to go through that. We didn’t have time to prepare. He was diagnosed the day before Thanksgiving and passed on December 23. It was a whirlwind of confusion and sorrow and misinformation. The nurses felt so bad and surrounded his bed around the family. One young aid stood at the foot of his bed, rubbing his feet to comfort him little did she know that was his favorite thing in the world. Then she started singing the Lords prayer as he slipped away. I made sure to write the hospital to thank her and commend her for what she did to make me feel better.
That nurse was unkind, rude & inappropriate!!! You helped your husband! His doctor gave you the correct orders, you followed his orders! When a patient needs morphine, you give it to them. My prayers are for your peace of bodymindspirit now💜💜💜Be at peace. You loved your husband. You are innocent and free of all this guilt. As for that nurse😡sh was WRONG!!’ Love Prayers ❤
That's terrible. I'm so sorry. My time as an RN, both in the homecare setting and hospital has taught me to get ALL on the same page ahead of any diagnosis. ❤️🩹
My brother in law had cancer. His wish was to pass at home looking at the lake he loved. We live on the same lake. It was a beautiful August afternoon when we saw EMS on route to his home. We quickly came over. He was on the floor and having breathing problems. He refused to go to the hospital. I stayed with him and saw his heart rate slow down. It was very emotional to see him pass. Everyone knew this is what he wanted. The last six months had been rough for him. I stayed by his side. After EMS left and we waited for the ambulance to arrive for transport. My sister was as expected a mess loosing her husband. Months before he had created a binder with everything we needed. So I handled the arrangements, telephone calls to his brother and son. I stayed by his side until they placed him in the transportation bag and walked him out. I just wanted him not to be left alone. It was my honor to help him.
At least you showed up. When my dad was dying, we needed a hospice nurse to help get his agitation under control. Although she was THE nurse “on call,” she refused to leave her home to drive the half hour to our home. I had to try to deal with it via phone calls and guess work. We had the morphine because I had asked for it in advance. I knew what was coming. So again, you were THERE. That is so important.
@@dhurley8522 , I can't even fathom being that cruel to, not only the patient, but their whole family. Losing someone is hard enough. I'm so sorry you had to go through that!
@@joantiberio7011 I know using "language" isn't proper but sometimes there just isn't any other word to capture something. The nurse in your case was a lazy bitch/heifer and shouldn't receive a dime for her definition of "work."
Awww I remember my daddy couldn’t take his pain meds or swallow water and I broke down and hugged him telling him I’m phoning hospice as mentally and physically I couldn’t anymore and I wanted him to be in no pain.. Thankfully a hospice bed came available that day and I stayed for 5 days and nights holding his hand ,I didn’t leave him as he had a sofa bed in the room and the nurses made sure he was comfortable as well as me .. Those hospice nurses were amazing and I couldn’t have done it without them.. My dad went down fast within 7 weeks of being told he had cancer and maybe 6 months to a year but it was only 7 weeks from hearing the news to his peaceful death.. He lived with us for over 11 years and we did palliative care in the home until I could no longer do it .. Once we went to hospice I became his daughter again instead of his caregiver.. Those five days were so filled with love, song, talking his ear off to him and telling him thanks for a wonderful life he gave me .. Thanks Julie for all the work you do and all the other wonderful hospice nurses ..
I was a Community Hospice Nurse in Western Australia for over 10 years. I used to work 4 nightshifts a week - Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun. One night many years ago, I had 7 deaths in ONE night. No matter how many deaths you've attended, sometimes it still hits too hard, and I remember crying all the way home that morning.
our work is our drug, so yes to all you said. We sure have feelings...more than most. Sensitive empaths.....everything hits hard. I had to leave the hospital because the corporate was getting horrid, & my collapsing made me hand over my wings.
Cry, yes and pray for strength. You are supporting the weak, something christians are called to do. Have a little break if you can. ❤ Not only smokers get lung cancer however it is an opportune moment to remind people of Yul Brynner’s warning advert (made when he was dying of lung cancer) ‘Don’t smoke. Whatever you do…. just don’t smoke’.
I'm controlling my dad's shortness of breath and pain right now. He is actively dying of stage 4 lung cancer that metastasis to the bone. Thank God I got him oxygen and morphine 🙏❤️. I'm controlling everything best I can. He looks comfortable❤. Your videos have been helping me through this. To know what to expect. Thank you 🙏😊 may God bless you ❤️
Your compassion for your patients is what makes you an Excellent Hospice Nurse. Morphine and Oxygen would have helped the patients comfort level but you do have your limitations and dying happens on it’s own schedule. Bless you Julie and all your fellow Hospice Nurse’s…. Thank you for what you do!
As a retired R..N . I find your message to Nurse Julie very accurate, spot on , and thoughtful to nurses who choose the profession . I think Nurse Julie would agree with me Nursing has its pros and cons . BUT so does every degree . So " Robert Marion " , thank you for acknowledging what I believe every nurses ' challenge to be patient after patient . ❤❤
@@DianeDuggin-jq7msThank you, I learned to appreciate how special and dedicated Hospice Nurses and staff are. My late wife and both parents were on hospice. The entire staff were exceptional people!
I’m so glad you’re in this world to do what you do because most of us don’t have that gift we all have your back and we all love the fact you love your job so much so let me take that burden from you today prayers and love❤
This gentleman had his self-determined life closure. He died where he wanted. That is the best gift we can give our patients sometimes. I've been a hospice nurse for quite a while now have have seen death at every end of the spectrum. You did the best you could for him. If nothing else, you were there and sometimes that's as good as it gets.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Nurse Julie, I feel your pain...rough day indeed. I work as a private in-home Palliative/Hospice/End-Of-Life caregiver and those situations are part of our landscape. But you need to know that your videos have been shared with many by me and so many others, and so you ARE making a difference and this video will help even more people. ❤
Having lost two brothers this year I sincerely want to thank you for doing what you do. I was so grateful to the hospice nurses who helped them. You doing this publicly is a huge step in educating the public. No one wants to talk about it but it is necessary.
not my experience. we were with hospice but the f**king doctor in charge gave him only liquid morphene and pain patches but he was allergic to morphene, she wouldn't give him anything else, so we had to withdraw from hospice. even THEY wouldn't listen to our needs. so now, all alone going back to pain management which is a joke sometimes. still in pain.
I'm going through this right now with my husband. Shortness of breath, I have no oxygen, only a fan. I have no morphine. He wants to die without either. We are prepared. But there is no preparation for watching shortness of breath. We did plan. This is what he wants. We talked to the doctor. And in honoring his request, there is a helplessness as his caregiver and a shock no matter how prepared and all the hours we talk. This is end of life.
Val, I pray he’s able to drift off peacefully, without struggle. Will he consider a muscle relaxant or sleeping pill? My husband got nothing and it was a very difficult thing for all of us. He was struggling to get breath, fighting to get up so he could get breath. You don’t want to see that happen. I hope he will allow at least a small portion of morphine to help him relax when it’s getting difficult.
@chorusfrog2548 Having meds to make breathing less tortured isn't a failure. You can actually be more able to speak and be calm with your loved ones. Just something to consider. (Morphine is more than just a pain killer....it can help ease breathing. Antavan (sp?) is another.)
I'm thankful that my 28 year old daughter is the case manager for hospice in Cambridge MN. I'm 56 and very healthy, but she knows my wishes and will advocate for me.
Oh, Julie, THIS is the most important video you have ever posted. I too am a nurse...retired now...but we will be nurses forever...it is a part of our soul! The tears that flow show the reality of pain in those tears which is the most beautiful of all emotions. It is a profound honor to be present with a pt both at the moment of their life (I was a neonatal nurse at deliveries and NICU) and at the moment of their departure from this life. God gives us the profound honor of being a part of our patient's life while here on this planet. Illness is hard, and we lose a little piece of our hearts when they go. You show your loving heart in a video like this, and that takes PROFOUND STRENGTH to allow us to see you in this vulnerable moment. I remember every pt I lost over my 30+ year career. I see every baby's face in my mind and will, I am sure, for the rest of my life here. Never be afraid to show the bad days with the good. It heals in ways we do not know. I admire you for all the help you are offering, and all the education you give...but, you are more special than you could ever know, and God is in charge of every death and every life in this world. There are NO mistakes. You are placed in that patient's room at the precise time that He needs you to be. Thank you for posting, and for all your kind and powerful words. You are in my prayers.
This is such an important video. We put our 93 yo mom on hospice within 48 hours of being told she was eligible. We made a few calls to family that work in medicine and a hospice RN friend and they all said go on as soon as offered. We got the meds, the hospital bed, the bed air mattress, a wheelchair & thick cushion, a hospital tray and days of informative intake meetings. End stage 7C dementia with recent dramatic weight loss, a fall resulting in a fractured pelvis, noted cognitive decline and loss of language skills, cannot walk (2 person assist) all seemed on our plate for mom, fast. This video is honest about how it can be better if you have all the right things at hand. Going on hospice, placing your loved one on hospice can be hard and seem harsh. However, doing so has put in place all these things and given us wound care as needed, an RN in the care team etc. Our mom is still hanging on, months and months later, but we are ready because we believed things we may not have understood and trusted those medically experienced who were on your team. Thank you for making this video. It will make a difference. ❤
You are incredible. I’m a retired elementary school teacher, and I could never do your job. I’m so empathetic that it would take me out. It’s definitely a calling. You are certainly a blessing and so very very vital for life. Your feelings for people is so vital for letting go. We need more like you.
You do your best, crap happens. My husband has stage 4 colon cancer spread to his liver. He does not want chemo and the Dr. said that it would be painful. So I got the hydromorophone on board just in case. The Dr. said he has 3-6mos. he is 74yrs. I feel comfort in the fact that I am prepared as much as I can. We live day by day. All the rest is in order.
Dear Julie, my sister-in-law has just passed away in a hospice and I wanted to let you know just how helpful your videos have been. I have been able to recognise the signs and although we were very lucky and her passing seemed to be quite peaceful, I am very grateful to you for the education I received from you. It helped immensely as I was not afraid of what I was seeing. I recognised the signs and I also knew she was not suffering. The Hospice Staff were amazing. But thank you so very much. I am sure most days are tough for you, it is a job I could not do myself. It would break me. Thank you so much xxx
On Friday (It's now Monday) I was in the middle of responding to another video, explaining how your videos, specifically on end stage liver disease, helped me prepare for the road ahead for my sister, who was at end stage liver cancer from metastatic breast cancer. I sent her a link to your channel. Over the past several months I spent a lot of time with her. She was well prepared, and knew what was going to happen. She had time to make her own final arrangements. She prepared and educated her own family about what to expect. She was the bravest, strongest person I ever know. Her faith in God was unwavering I was with her for the jaundice, the ascites, I witnessed the transition into terminal agitation. The family took her to the hospital, where she was placed in palliative care. The second day there, she went into terminal lucidity. The rally lasted 4 days. She was there long enough to make her arrangements with hospice, and to get a permanent drain placed. Hell, she even made sure her house was paid off while she was there. She went home Wednesday evening and by Thursday morning she was hallucinating. She had a seizure shortly after that (Hospice had seizure meds available for that). After the seizure, she was unresponsive. I mentioned that on Friday, I was responding to another one of your videos, primarily to thank you for everything I learned and was able to pass on to her and her family. While I was tying, I got the phone call that she passed away. Again, I can not thank you enough. I can not imagine how emotionally challenging your job is. God bless you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so real!! My mother died a horrendous death in the hospital… no help, no compassion. I really appreciate you showing concern for how a person dies. It is important!!!
I want you to know how wonderful you are. I found your channel when my mom went into hospice for Alzheimer's Fortunately a social worker from her medical group came out as soon as she was diagnosed and helped us get everything in order. This helped us to get clear on what my mom's wishes were. She ended up in hospice at a nursing home for about six weeks and had morphine and lorazepam. The staff was great! She was singing, smiling, and doing a lot of movements with her hands. Your videos taught me what I could expect and I am extremely grateful. Thank you for your channel.
You gave him the best thing you had at the moment and that was your presence. You were 100% present with him at his death, and that is as important as morphine at giving comfort during the dying process.
Thank you. My best friend of 34 years had end stage lung cancer and an excellent home hospice nurse. I ran into that nurse later on when I got a job at the hospital (non-clinician). She remembered my friend and like you, very compassionate. Thanks to you I have put things in place etc. Thank you for your videos. Hugs.
It is so important to set hospice up when offered. My dad did not set up hospice to help him until too late. We watched him struggle for breath, and struggle to get comfortable; neither of which went away. Plus he had terminal agitation. I’d never heard of that before. I thought my dad was suffocating. You always keep things so real and helpful. This type video needs to be shared occasionally because there are non peaceful deaths too. Thank you again.
sadly, because the same doctors who dom't keep you healthy, sure won't ensure your minerals & electrolytes are balanced which prevents agitation. The system is shot
Oh my gosh! You’re human! Julie, please don’t feel bad because you have feelings. The world needs more angels like you. My daughter is a nurses aide in aged care. She, too, is an angel. Thank you for what you do, and how much you care ❤
Hi Nurse Julie. I am from South Africa and want to thank you for your guidelines on Dimentia and the process. I lost my gran on 11 Sept 2024, unfortunately my son's 27th birthday too. She had many other chronics too many to mention. You really prepped me even though i was not ready to let go i remembered the stages. You are a blessing and never stop doing what you do. You touch many more souls than you actually know. May God bless you in abundance and I wish you a happy and healthy life. Thank you. Chantal
As a caregiver group facilitator for those caring for dementia patients.I encourage them to reach out to hospice earlier than later. For one, they get an assessment of where their loved one is in the progression of the illness. I am constantly amazed how accurate they are. If the patient is still "functional". they are in the system so as things change there is a support system already set up. An aside. I encouraged a new member of the group to do this.. and she did even though her loved one was still walking and doing things. He died 6 weeks later. She is forever grateful to the hospice team for their support and guidance. You are an angel here on earth. Know that there are soooo many of us who appreciate you. Hugs to you
Never have to be embarrassed for our tears as I learned and you probably know, Julie. It’s our body’s release of stressful feelings and you know your viewers support you - me for one! My mom just passed 8/22/24 at home with hospice and I thank God every day for loving, caring nurses like you!!❤❤❤❤❤❤Love you all!
Good advice. Don’t wait…plan. When my 52 year old terminally ill husband was in the hospital and finally decided to sign DNR/DNI orders, his doctor asked me what she could do for me. I asked her to just have everything in order so we could go home and just be together as a family.
Pre Covid I volunteered at hospice and have the utmost respect for you and what you do. I always felt that it was such a privilege to be present at such an intimate moment in a persons life. It’s so sad to see someone suffering during their last bit on earth. Especially when you know that there is something that would make them more comfortable. Thank you for what you do in life and on this channel.🙏🏻
You do what you do because you want to help. And when you can't, no matter how hard you try, it can really break you. I worked in the medical field, cardiology specifically, for many years. You remember those patients because you care deeply. By documenting this in such a raw and vulnerable way, you are helping others who may be facing the same thing.
Thank you for this. Lost my Dad 2 yrs ago this month to respiratory failure of unknown etiology. After a month in the cardiac ICU at a great hospital, he was released w/no answers, but set up w/Hospice at home. That part was a nightmare - oxygen & supplies dropped off but no one could show us how to use it, our nurse never came, even after me calling regularly, etc. Finally after 4 days we got someone out there who took one look at him, my exhausted and struggling 81 yr old mother, and said “he needs to be in the Hospice Home - like YESTERDAY.” Which is what we wanted to begin with, but he “didn’t qualify.” It’s like nobody believed me when I told them how much pain & discomfort he was having. Eventually got him to the Hospice Home and finally, he got pain relief, and everything else he needed. After a looooong month in the hospital, plus a week of hell at home, he was finally at peace. The nurses in the Hospice Home were wonderful. Very comforting, attentive, reassuring, and they kept the meds flowing as we requested. He died peacefully that night, just abt 8 hours after being admitted. Thank you for all that you do. 💖
I just want to say Thank You Julie. My dad is 90 and on hospice for 6 weeks now. He has Parkinsons. He and my mom share a room in the nursing home which has good points and bad points, too. His appetite is fading, he's losing weight. Chokes on Anything, whether it's thickened liquid or water with a straw. They have their orders but he literally hates the thickened stuff and will drink down a bottle of water with a straw, chin down, whenever it's family are there. They throw away his water and straw once we leave them it's back to not drinking. It's so barbaric to me. Why not let him have water if he wants it!. Your videos have helped me so much. My daughter just got your book yesterday and I just want you to know what you are doing for people. It's your calling
I thought it horrible to withhold water and food from a dying patient....When we did our medical power of attorney we learned that when a person is actively dying not withholding water and food causes suffering for the patient b/c the kidneys are shutting down.. digestive system is shutting down..giving food and water cause a lot of pain. Our instructions are to withhold food and water when we are actively dying. Our children won't have to make that decision and feel bad that they can't give mom and dad food or water.
I totally agree with these suggestions once that person is in the final stages of the dying process. Very loving and humane things you can do for our loved ones. Although, in my instance, my dad isn't quite to that stage yet. I just feel the nursing home could be a little more flexible. More willing to allow him plain water, which is all he wants. That's all. At this stage I would think as long as it doesn't harm him, let the poor man have whatever he craves. Before we know it he won't be wanting anything.
It is an outstanding type of human being that decides to pursue this career and service to others. My only experience with hospice nurses was when I was visiting my dad who was dying from melanoma skin cancer. I was with him as he passed , the nurses were nothing short of professional , supportive , understanding and calm... The focus they have for all concerned at this heartbreaking time is worthy of all the praise society could give them.
I feel you. I soooo feel you. I was just recently been there with my mum-in-law. She was IN hospital. But sadly, the hospital was horribly understaffed. She needed morphine and another med. I went out and found a nurse to explain, and she said "Oh yeah-no problem, one of us will be right there. It took over 2 hours. And when they came, they withheld the amount, though she was at end of life. Believe me, I tried-we could not get her home. We could not get her into hospice. She was STUCK right there-in that situation. The trauma is deep. This was not supposed to happen. I am an End-of-Life Doula, I was there and ready to help. But Mum quickly got unwell from Radiotherapy and ended up on hospital-and that was that. From there-she had 4 falls. One one of them, she fractured her skull. Then she got Cellulitis, then she got Covid (they accidentally moved her from her private room to general population ward). Then she got hospital acquired double pneumonia. The morning they moved her to hospice, she died. There are times, where all the things you do, and I know you -you did ALL you could, Julie. You were there to ease what you had control of, and that you did. I'm not pitying you. I understand. I hope you give yourself some grace. Also, great video on educating the public. THAT is where we need to really get folks onboard and educated. I think we could change so much, if we could do more of this. XOXOXOXO
Thank you for doing what you do and being there for people who need you - patients and their families. My father died after being on hospice for a very short time and it was so hard listening to him struggle to breathe and hearing that “death rattle”, we were very grateful to the palliative care nurses who helped once they administered meds and he was no longer flailing and screaming in pain. It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one that way and I can’t imagine being in that setting on a daily basis - you’re an angel. ❤
My Mom was on hospice before she passed and the nurses were truly Angels. I don't know how our family and my Mom would have coped without them. Thank you for what you do to bring comfort, grace, and dignity to those who are suffering and dying. It truly is an immeasurable gift.
I just purchased your book from Amazon. My husband and I are ill prepared for our deaths. Your videos have helped me so much so I am going to allow you to provide guidance.
I am not a nurse yet have seen my parents and grandmother go through 'stuff'. I would love to have a nurse like you beside me - caring, condsiderate and compassionate. My Mother's Hospice nurse's were incredible. My Brother wants me to be a Hospice volunter, yet I simply cannot. I am not the person you are, and I really appreciate (having seen what Hospice Nurses do first hand) for not only the Patient but also their loved ones. You have my total respect. Cry sweet Lady - your tears are important.
I'm so proud of the many health care professional who give their all in the most compassionate way possible. I hope I have people like you around me when I come to my end time. God bless you.
I wanted to let you know how extremely helpful you and your channel have been for me caring for my husband who currently went on hospice 2 weeks ago and passed comfortably in our home on his birthday 8-29-24 and all the videos I watched of yours was extremely helpful . God bless you in your work and your channel. 🙌🙏✝️
Thank You for sharing the reality of being a helpful person to our sick and dying family members at home. I'm caring for my 83 year old mom with dementia. Preparing is about not fearing what's happening and working with my mom's doctor. Your experiences are helping me with terminology I can use to have my mom's doctor working with us. Priceless. Thank You so much. We're in the planning phase which comes rather quickly.
God..... grant nurse Julie the serenity to accept the things she cannot change; The courage to change the things she can; and the wisdom to know the difference...
It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry (even on the internet). You always handle situations with such grace. The people you help are so lucky to have you. Thank you your videos that are preparing me and giving me the information to best help mom. You are an angel and have a special spot in heaven just waiting for you (but not soon, we need you). Bless you!
I really like the Hospice Nurse called Julie. Much appreciate her take on the struggles of end-of-life care, where things don't go close enough to a controlled situation. You have to protect your heart, Julie, or you are going to suffer burnout. There are more of us out there that will need your care in the future. Protect your heart, dear girl!
My father was my first hospice patient what I learned in that 14 years is it sometimes you can do your best but you won't because you want to give more you want to comfort better but it's just not meant to be you know that you also need to accept that sometimes you have to cry because if you don't you'll just go crazy and you won't be able to go on
Seeing that more stories are about men - recognize they are a Depression & multiple war generation that believes grit will get them through trouble, and grumbling isn't allowed. They have rarely taken care of ill relatives, and are clueless about the pain associated to different illnesses. They have not seen or been educated how hospice care and medications can make a giant difference to their comfort. They likely have a fear of medicines, the loss of control. This is why the "Hospice Nurse Julie" channel is valuable, timely, educational, hopeful, beneficial, and makes a difference in someone's passing. Julie, thank you for your courage, endurance, empathy, and letting your heart lead. Please, pull back when needed. Talk to God in your darkest days, ask for His healing and help. Your knowledge makes a positive change in this world. The number of grateful families is growing exponentially from your work.
I am 68 yrs old, just diagnosed with now sever emphysema, copd. I live in Oregon and I hope and pray that when that time comes the hospices nurses here are are caring and wonderfully informing for my family. God bless you for helping and caring for those and all families you work with..
Same age and DX. I'm stage 4 and in hospice. I've had days where the pharmacy couldn't get my breathing meds for a week sometimes, Since going into hospice, they get my meds. At imes I don't think I need hospice until I go from my recliner to my bathroom 8 ft away and back makes me appreciate having them with for the rest of my journey, and it could be a year or so, depending on when the lungs want to quit. Wish you comfort on your journey.
Julie you are truly an angel nurse with so much compassion for all your patients. You don't ever have to apologize to any of us followers, for your emotions. You are just being human. Keep doing you.❤
My mother passed in June, under the care of my brother. She had hospice care but my idiot brother who " doesn't like drugs " did not give her the scheduled regime assigned by hospice. Therefore, she was agitated and suffered a good couple months. I was unaware of him withholding the meds. Ar the end she kept my brother awake for several days it sent him into a stroke . Nothing major happened with him but finally she got into a beautiful hospice house, she got what she needed and passed 40 hrs later. Hospice are angels on earth ❤
Julie, you are an angel walking this earth. I don’t know how you absorb so much pain and suffering without falling apart on a regular. I cannot imagine seeing the things you have seen, and being able to keep going back. God bless you. ❤️
You are absolutely amazing! I’ve actually worked in healthcare as a chef for so many years. Spent my days holding hands and loving residents when they have no family or anyone, shared holiday dinners with my residents that had no family that showed up and visited hospice with the residents that I built relationships with. God your a wonderful human Julie, thank you for what you do ❤
I can't even imagine how hard this was for you but It's because of people like you getting through my fathers death was possible. We could never ever had done without our hospice nurse. I can't even imagine how hard it is, please keep going because the world needs you!!
Pausing at 5:20 - thank you for posting this. Change can only happen when we see where the system is broken. I really thought Hospice Nurses were able to carry an emergency kit. Maybe you need to advocate for that. Carry a small amount of each medication, a small oxygen canister, a kit with supplies you may need- because emergent situations do happen. Poor patient😢.
@@JessicaCarnahan-o5q my husband passed 8/30/2024 in hospice at home. When he was brought home from the hospital just the day before, I was told the “compassion kit” would be delivered to our home as the nurses were not allowed to transport narcotics. Fortunately, the hospital medicated him so he was comfortable on the way home and the kit was delivered as the nurse arrived. She gave him medication right away and then started the admission process.
@@debbydaley9192 it basically took an act of God to get my Mother in Love home on hospice. We left the hospital at 8:28- I drove ahead of the ambulance, while my husband followed it. Our hospice team was waiting for us at the house- they thankfully brought the kit with them along with the mouth swabs and diapers. She arrived at the house about 10:30 (yes it was a 2 hour drive from the hospital to home because that's where the best hospital was at). She passed 12-1/2 hours after we got home. I praise God that she was in her own home, with her kitty snuggled up close to her, her Grandbabies got to come see her and she was absolutely comfortable. Her breathing definitely improved and she was so peaceful. Thank you to ALL hospice care givers
Boy, I’m realizing how fortunate I was with my mom. I guess I really lucked out with the hospice service I had in my home for her. Whenever she needed anything, oxygen, an up or change in her meds, everything was delivered ASAP. Julie it was not your fault. Sometimes we are all victims of our circumstances and the powers that be.Your compassion is palpable ❤.
Thank you for teaching us the reality of the dying process and the importance of making patients comfortable thru their personal journey in the end of life. Your passion is truly admired and I can feel the love you have for helping patients thru this journey.
As a RN for nearly 25 years, I’ve worked in the ICU, Acute Care, ED, Hospice, and now Rehabilitation, there have been many days that I’ve cried with my patients and families. Often from sadness and compassion. The pain of feeling helpless is on another level. I’m so sorry- understand that we can feel your pain, frustration and helplessness you faced. Those are feelings that any nurse or caregiver hates to face…You are doing such an important job in teaching us all to prepare for what we will all face. Thank you. ❤❤️🩹🙏🏻
Hi Julie, I feel your pain and helplessness. I am retired now, but I was a hospice nurse for 23 years. I have been in that position as well and it takes a toll. Thank goodness those instances are infrequent, because most hospice nurses would burn out very, very quickly. God bless you for your wonderful, caring work.
Oh Julie, I am SO sorry.. but its why you are so loved. You do so very good for the hospice patients and are so good at what you do. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I am thinking of you.
You said that you got the medication to him as soon as you could, and it wasn't soon enough. That's unfortunate, frustrating, and sad, but let yourself off the hook. As soon as you could, that's all that can reasonably be said about that. You are a wonderfully forthcoming hospice nurse who helps us with some of life's most difficult times. Thank you for this posting. It really, really helps.
My grandma passed at 92 years old in an ICU. ICUs are equipped with every life saving measure to save someone and there she was just in a bed without even an IV in her arm. Despite her age and declining health, no one had prepared for this. When she became short of breath and was admitted to the hospital they didn’t have anything to offer because she didn’t have a personal doctor that could be contacted to order hospice. The nurses were able to give her oxygen but after the fact, I realized she could have passed more peacefully. It wasn’t bad or violent but we all want the best for our loved ones. I can tell you that my family and I were all very grateful to the nurses. As much as you wished you could have done more you also have to realize that just showing up, as an experienced healthcare worker who has navigated many people through the dying process just your presence was probably very comforting to all involved. Just having you there during his passing and immediately after I’m sure was of great comfort to the family and even to the gentlemen who knew you’d probably be a source of comfort and wisdom after he left his body.
I'm sorry :( Yup, it's sad. Neglect is real, I saw it every day as a nurse since the plan demic. And as a patient who is disabled from it. Awful. They are all burnt out too....the hospital was a slammed plamdemic warzome for a few years. I cam't say more, I"m always censured.
As a retired hospice nurse, l know your situation and feel your frustration, but as others have said, he knew someone cared and did not enjoy his demise. You did the best you could do in that situation. You are loved more than you know, respected more than you can imagine, and God is proud of you, as are your viewer recognize. God bless!
Awe Julie, retired ICU RN here. You’re right, we all go through this. I’ve sobbed my way home too many times. Your situation and job is much different. You wanted a good death for him, more peaceful and less pain. He wanted to die at home, but you and I both know how quickly things can change with palliative to actively dying. Happened with my mom when I was caring for her at home. She had talked with me about her end of life, so I knew. Now it’s time for me to get things lined up for myself. I know what I expect, and have told my children, it just needs to be on paper for them. Thank you for helping people understand the importance of being ready…🙏🏻🫶🏻xx
I think your emotions about what happened just shows you are a very caring nurse and that's what a nurse is supposed to be. Thank you for showing your vulnerable side!
![SahBabii - Viking [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/D37cL92JX0I/mqdefault.jpg)
He died at home where he wanted with a caring person. Your a living angel. 🕊
❤I agree. What you do is so important to the patient and family.
yes, but it's still traumatizing and hard when you're empathic, and there. Watching suffering wears on you
I don't think he wanted to die unmedicated & slowly suffocating
amen.
Yes, some of us want to feel our pain ... thank you Julie, for honoring our wishes!!!
I had my baby at home without what others thought I needed.
My husband died on hospice a month ago. He was in a nursing home because I couldn't lift him and he was very sick. But I came and visited him for hours everyday. I brought soft food for him to eat and took him out side. I love him more than anything in the whole world including myself and I sang to him too. I miss him so much. He was my everything ❤-- One of his nurses who took care of him was a special blessing. Her name is Sylvia ❤ --
Sending you a hug & and prayer my husband passed & the grief caused me to not be able to eat or sleep for months. The cortisone dump from the grief causes it. Please believe me it will get easier. 🙏🙏🙏
Mrs Z.
It sounds as though he was a very fortunate man to have someone like you in his life.
He was blessed to have you as his nurse
I don't think I could survive if my partner for life went before me. I honestly can't. You are a great human being.
I am a recent widow. Cannot eat or sleep. Think I’m going crazy. How long will this pain last? How long until I’m on the other side of this?
This happened in the hospital with my husband. He had lung cancer and was in his second round of chemo when he couldn’t breathe they sent for an ambulance which took him to the hospital. He had a DNR and a DNI and I understood that and I held firm. I did, however inform them that he had been taking morphine for the pain and needed morphine at that point in time. They couldn’t find a Doctor Who would OK the morphine. So instead, my family and I watched as their father, my husband suffocated in a great deal of distress, instead of being medicated and being able to drift off easily. This was 21 years ago. I will never forget it. I will never forgive the hospital for not grabbing any doctor and getting him to OK morphine. Plus his oncologist had told us that whenever he asked for morphine that meant he needed it and to give it to him. I logged every bit that I gave him and when I gave it to him and took that list to the hospital with me. The nurses took a look at it, shook their head, and told me that I was giving him too much that it was disabling him from being able to breathe.I have had to live with that for 21 years and more to come. I’m sorry you had to go through that. We didn’t have time to prepare. He was diagnosed the day before Thanksgiving and passed on December 23. It was a whirlwind of confusion and sorrow and misinformation. The nurses felt so bad and surrounded his bed around the family. One young aid stood at the foot of his bed, rubbing his feet to comfort him little did she know that was his favorite thing in the world. Then she started singing the Lords prayer as he slipped away. I made sure to write the hospital to thank her and commend her for what she did to make me feel better.
That nurse was unkind, rude & inappropriate!!! You helped your husband! His doctor gave you the correct orders, you followed his orders! When a patient needs morphine, you give it to them. My prayers are for your peace of bodymindspirit now💜💜💜Be at peace. You loved your husband. You are innocent and free of all this guilt. As for that nurse😡sh was WRONG!!’
Love Prayers ❤
That's terrible. I'm so sorry. My time as an RN, both in the homecare setting and hospital has taught me to get ALL on the same page ahead of any diagnosis. ❤️🩹
It's those "small" things that matter as in what the aid did. Bless her.
But do you think everyone (not your case) needs to have morphine before they die?
@@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453 watch Hospice Nurse Julie’s videos on this matter.
My brother in law had cancer. His wish was to pass at home looking at the lake he loved. We live on the same lake. It was a beautiful August afternoon when we saw EMS on route to his home. We quickly came over. He was on the floor and having breathing problems. He refused to go to the hospital. I stayed with him and saw his heart rate slow down. It was very emotional to see him pass. Everyone knew this is what he wanted. The last six months had been rough for him. I stayed by his side. After EMS left and we waited for the ambulance to arrive for transport. My sister was as expected a mess loosing her husband. Months before he had created a binder with everything we needed. So I handled the arrangements, telephone calls to his brother and son. I stayed by his side until they placed him in the transportation bag and walked him out. I just wanted him not to be left alone. It was my honor to help him.
Julie my mom passed away 5 days ago. Your book was the only training I got and I treasure your guidance. Mom saw a peaceful thanks to you.
God bless you🙏❤️✝️
💕💕💕💕
At least you showed up. When my dad was dying, we needed a hospice nurse to help get his agitation under control. Although she was THE nurse “on call,” she refused to leave her home to drive the half hour to our home. I had to try to deal with it via phone calls and guess work. We had the morphine because I had asked for it in advance. I knew what was coming. So again, you were THERE. That is so important.
I hope that nurse got fired. That was her job. If she didn't want to do it , don't pick that job. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I raged over the phone with a hospice nurse, because she wouldn’t come out to check on my dad even though he was in distress and we were scared.
@@dhurley8522 , I can't even fathom being that cruel to, not only the patient, but their whole family. Losing someone is hard enough. I'm so sorry you had to go through that!
@@joantiberio7011 I know using "language" isn't proper but sometimes there just isn't any other word to capture something. The nurse in your case was a lazy bitch/heifer and shouldn't receive a dime for her definition of "work."
@@dhurley8522 Heifer! A god damn lazy Heifer!!!!!
You're crying because you have a heart in your human You are a wonderful nurse Don't ever forget that❤
Thank you. You stated it just right. Julie, you’re wonderful.
Awww I remember my daddy couldn’t take his pain meds or swallow water and I broke down and hugged him telling him I’m phoning hospice as mentally and physically I couldn’t anymore and I wanted him to be in no pain.. Thankfully a hospice bed came available that day and I stayed for 5 days and nights holding his hand ,I didn’t leave him as he had a sofa bed in the room and the nurses made sure he was comfortable as well as me .. Those hospice nurses were amazing and I couldn’t have done it without them.. My dad went down fast within 7 weeks of being told he had cancer and maybe 6 months to a year but it was only 7 weeks from hearing the news to his peaceful death.. He lived with us for over 11 years and we did palliative care in the home until I could no longer do it .. Once we went to hospice I became his daughter again instead of his caregiver.. Those five days were so filled with love, song, talking his ear off to him and telling him thanks for a wonderful life he gave me .. Thanks Julie for all the work you do and all the other wonderful hospice nurses ..
❤sorry for your loss
Go ahead and cry honey. It snows you have a heart! If I were dying I would want you to be my hospice nurse. Much love to you sweetie!
Same
You are a beautiful person too ❤
.......times three!
Times 4
I was a Community Hospice Nurse in Western Australia for over 10 years. I used to work 4 nightshifts a week - Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun. One night many years ago, I had 7 deaths in ONE night. No matter how many deaths you've attended, sometimes it still hits too hard, and I remember crying all the way home that morning.
❤❤❤
Cry your eyes out its good for you. Nurses have feelings too. Use your steps and call your sponsor. Love you my friend
Nurse Julie, it's fine to cry. We all have to cry. You are the best! ❤💯
💕💕💕💕💕
our work is our drug, so yes to all you said. We sure have feelings...more than most. Sensitive empaths.....everything hits hard. I had to leave the hospital because the corporate was getting horrid, & my collapsing made me hand over my wings.
Cry, yes and pray for strength. You are supporting the weak, something christians are called to do. Have a little break if you can. ❤
Not only smokers get lung cancer however it is an opportune moment to remind people of Yul Brynner’s warning advert (made when he was dying of lung cancer)
‘Don’t smoke. Whatever you do…. just don’t smoke’.
PLEASE Julie remember to take care of yourself also.
Your work is so necessary AND essential.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!
I'm controlling my dad's shortness of breath and pain right now. He is actively dying of stage 4 lung cancer that metastasis to the bone. Thank God I got him oxygen and morphine 🙏❤️. I'm controlling everything best I can. He looks comfortable❤. Your videos have been helping me through this. To know what to expect. Thank you 🙏😊 may God bless you ❤️
@@guardianofmysoul God bless you🙏
God love you.
Praying for your father to begin his new journey as quickly as possible.
May God give you Both peace right now 🩵🙏🩵
Sending prayers your way 🙏
🙏
As an RN we've all done plenty of "car crying". Thank you for your good information.
Your compassion for your patients is what makes you an Excellent Hospice Nurse. Morphine and Oxygen would have helped the patients comfort level but you do have your limitations and dying happens on it’s own schedule. Bless you Julie and all your fellow Hospice Nurse’s…. Thank you for what you do!
As a retired R..N . I find your message to Nurse Julie very accurate, spot on , and thoughtful to nurses who choose the
profession .
I think Nurse Julie would agree with me Nursing has its pros and cons . BUT so does every degree .
So " Robert Marion " , thank you for acknowledging what I
believe every nurses '
challenge to be patient after patient . ❤❤
@@DianeDuggin-jq7msThank you, I learned to appreciate how special and dedicated Hospice Nurses and staff are. My late wife and both parents were on hospice. The entire staff were exceptional people!
@@robertmarion6454Hospice nurses and staffs are special and dedicated. They need to be always appreciated. Thank you for your nice messages.
The amount of patience and mental strength this occupation takes is monumental…
I’m so glad you’re in this world to do what you do because most of us don’t have that gift we all have your back and we all love the fact you love your job so much so let me take that burden from you today prayers and love❤
This gentleman had his self-determined life closure. He died where he wanted. That is the best gift we can give our patients sometimes. I've been a hospice nurse for quite a while now have have seen death at every end of the spectrum. You did the best you could for him. If nothing else, you were there and sometimes that's as good as it gets.
So well said !
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss
Nurse Julie, I feel your pain...rough day indeed. I work as a private in-home Palliative/Hospice/End-Of-Life caregiver and those situations are part of our landscape. But you need to know that your videos have been shared with many by me and so many others, and so you ARE making a difference and this video will help even more people. ❤
Having lost two brothers this year I sincerely want to thank you for doing what you do. I was so grateful to the hospice nurses who helped them. You doing this publicly is a huge step in educating the public. No one wants to talk about it but it is necessary.
Hospice nurses are the most empathetic kind souls on this planet ❤
Thanks Julie
How can I order and pay for your book? Julie, you are helping so many people!
not my experience. we were with hospice but the f**king doctor in charge gave him only liquid morphene and pain patches but he was allergic to morphene, she wouldn't give him anything else, so we had to withdraw from hospice. even THEY wouldn't listen to our needs. so now, all alone going back to pain management which is a joke sometimes. still in pain.
Julie, I imagine the family thanked you so profusely because your caring was so evident. You offered yourself. That means so very much to a family.
I'm going through this right now with my husband. Shortness of breath, I have no oxygen, only a fan. I have no morphine. He wants to die without either.
We are prepared.
But there is no preparation for watching shortness of breath.
We did plan. This is what he wants.
We talked to the doctor.
And in honoring his request, there is a helplessness as his caregiver and a shock no matter how prepared and all the hours we talk. This is end of life.
Val, I pray he’s able to drift off peacefully, without struggle. Will he consider a muscle relaxant or sleeping pill? My husband got nothing and it was a very difficult thing for all of us. He was struggling to get breath, fighting to get up so he could get breath. You don’t want to see that happen. I hope he will allow at least a small portion of morphine to help him relax when it’s getting difficult.
@@valwoodford9877 All strength and comfort to you Val.
I'm so sorry.
@chorusfrog2548 Having meds to make breathing less tortured isn't a failure. You can actually be more able to speak and be calm with your loved ones. Just something to consider. (Morphine is more than just a pain killer....it can help ease breathing. Antavan (sp?) is another.)
He doesn't want it now, allow him to change his mind.
I'm thankful that my 28 year old daughter is the case manager for hospice in Cambridge MN. I'm 56 and very healthy, but she knows my wishes and will advocate for me.
sometimes our death has nothing to do with how "healthy" we are. Shots, wifi, heartbreak, accidents, God's will & Timing. Be always ready
@@Jennifer-gr7hn yes, you are absolutely right!
You're a special lady Julie. Every person deserves to be taken care of by someone who cares like you do. God bless you!
Oh, Julie, THIS is the most important video you have ever posted. I too am a nurse...retired now...but we will be nurses forever...it is a part of our soul! The tears that flow show the reality of pain in those tears which is the most beautiful of all emotions. It is a profound honor to be present with a pt both at the moment of their life (I was a neonatal nurse at deliveries and NICU) and at the moment of their departure from this life. God gives us the profound honor of being a part of our patient's life while here on this planet. Illness is hard, and we lose a little piece of our hearts when they go. You show your loving heart in a video like this, and that takes PROFOUND STRENGTH to allow us to see you in this vulnerable moment. I remember every pt I lost over my 30+ year career. I see every baby's face in my mind and will, I am sure, for the rest of my life here. Never be afraid to show the bad days with the good. It heals in ways we do not know. I admire you for all the help you are offering, and all the education you give...but, you are more special than you could ever know, and God is in charge of every death and every life in this world. There are NO mistakes. You are placed in that patient's room at the precise time that He needs you to be. Thank you for posting, and for all your kind and powerful words. You are in my prayers.
Hugging you right now Julie. Even talking about it again, must be difficult. We are nurses but we are human first. Bless you my friend. ❤❤❤❤
💕💕💕💕💕
💝🙏💕
❤
I hope that when my time comes to die, that I’m surrounded by such loving and caring nurses, like you. ❤
This is such an important video. We put our 93 yo mom on hospice within 48 hours of being told she was eligible. We made a few calls to family that work in medicine and a hospice RN friend and they all said go on as soon as offered. We got the meds, the hospital bed, the bed air mattress, a wheelchair & thick cushion, a hospital tray and days of informative intake meetings. End stage 7C dementia with recent dramatic weight loss, a fall resulting in a fractured pelvis, noted cognitive decline and loss of language skills, cannot walk (2 person assist) all seemed on our plate for mom, fast. This video is honest about how it can be better if you have all the right things at hand. Going on hospice, placing your loved one on hospice can be hard and seem harsh. However, doing so has put in place all these things and given us wound care as needed, an RN in the care team etc. Our mom is still hanging on, months and months later, but we are ready because we believed things we may not have understood and trusted those medically experienced who were on your team. Thank you for making this video. It will make a difference. ❤
You are incredible. I’m a retired elementary school teacher, and I could never do your job. I’m so empathetic that it would take me out. It’s definitely a calling. You are certainly a blessing and so very very vital for life. Your feelings for people is so vital for letting go. We need more like you.
You do your best, crap happens. My husband has stage 4 colon cancer spread to his liver. He does not want chemo and the Dr. said that it would be painful. So I got the hydromorophone on board just in case. The Dr. said he has 3-6mos. he is 74yrs. I feel comfort in the fact that I am prepared as much as I can. We live day by day. All the rest is in order.
🫂
You may not see it, but I KNOW you made this guy’s last moments better. Your compassion shows and I’m sure he felt it. Bless you so much!!!
Dear Julie, my sister-in-law has just passed away in a hospice and I wanted to let you know just how helpful your videos have been. I have been able to recognise the signs and although we were very lucky and her passing seemed to be quite peaceful, I am very grateful to you for the education I received from you. It helped immensely as I was not afraid of what I was seeing. I recognised the signs and I also knew she was not suffering. The Hospice Staff were amazing. But thank you so very much. I am sure most days are tough for you, it is a job I could not do myself. It would break me. Thank you so much xxx
On Friday (It's now Monday) I was in the middle of responding to another video, explaining how your videos, specifically on end stage liver disease, helped me prepare for the road ahead for my sister, who was at end stage liver cancer from metastatic breast cancer. I sent her a link to your channel. Over the past several months I spent a lot of time with her. She was well prepared, and knew what was going to happen. She had time to make her own final arrangements. She prepared and educated her own family about what to expect. She was the bravest, strongest person I ever know. Her faith in God was unwavering I was with her for the jaundice, the ascites, I witnessed the transition into terminal agitation. The family took her to the hospital, where she was placed in palliative care. The second day there, she went into terminal lucidity. The rally lasted 4 days. She was there long enough to make her arrangements with hospice, and to get a permanent drain placed. Hell, she even made sure her house was paid off while she was there. She went home Wednesday evening and by Thursday morning she was hallucinating. She had a seizure shortly after that (Hospice had seizure meds available for that). After the seizure, she was unresponsive.
I mentioned that on Friday, I was responding to another one of your videos, primarily to thank you for everything I learned and was able to pass on to her and her family. While I was tying, I got the phone call that she passed away.
Again, I can not thank you enough. I can not imagine how emotionally challenging your job is. God bless you!
In my over 40 years of nursing I felt helpless and grieved every time a patient died. Blessings to you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so real!! My mother died a horrendous death in the hospital… no help, no compassion. I really appreciate you showing concern for how a person dies. It is important!!!
Lifting you up in prayer, sweet Julie. Your compassion is beyond your call of duty. Just thank you for being there for them.
I want you to know how wonderful you are. I found your channel when my mom went into hospice for Alzheimer's Fortunately a social worker from her medical group came out as soon as she was diagnosed and helped us get everything in order. This helped us to get clear on what my mom's wishes were. She ended up in hospice at a nursing home for about six weeks and had morphine and lorazepam. The staff was great! She was singing, smiling, and doing a lot of movements with her hands. Your videos taught me what I could expect and I am extremely grateful. Thank you for your channel.
You gave him the best thing you had at the moment and that was your presence. You were 100% present with him at his death, and that is as important as morphine at giving comfort during the dying process.
Thank you. My best friend of 34 years had end stage lung cancer and an excellent home hospice nurse. I ran into that nurse later on when I got a job at the hospital (non-clinician). She remembered my friend and like you, very compassionate. Thanks to you I have put things in place etc. Thank you for your videos. Hugs.
I'm so sorry. Big hugs! Hospice nurses truly are angels on earth. Cry and let it all out. 🙏
It is so important to set hospice up when offered. My dad did not set up hospice to help him until too late. We watched him struggle for breath, and struggle to get comfortable; neither of which went away. Plus he had terminal agitation. I’d never heard of that before. I thought my dad was suffocating. You always keep things so real and helpful. This type video needs to be shared occasionally because there are non peaceful deaths too. Thank you again.
sadly, because the same doctors who dom't keep you healthy, sure won't ensure your minerals & electrolytes are balanced which prevents agitation. The system is shot
Oh my gosh! You’re human! Julie, please don’t feel bad because you have feelings. The world needs more angels like you. My daughter is a nurses aide in aged care. She, too, is an angel. Thank you for what you do, and how much you care ❤
Hi Colleen, how's your day going with you?
Hi Nurse Julie. I am from South Africa and want to thank you for your guidelines on Dimentia and the process. I lost my gran on 11 Sept 2024, unfortunately my son's 27th birthday too. She had many other chronics too many to mention. You really prepped me even though i was not ready to let go i remembered the stages. You are a blessing and never stop doing what you do. You touch many more souls than you actually know. May God bless you in abundance and I wish you a happy and healthy life. Thank you. Chantal
As a caregiver group facilitator for those caring for dementia patients.I encourage them to reach out to hospice earlier than later. For one, they get an assessment of where their loved one is in the progression of the illness. I am constantly amazed how accurate they are.
If the patient is still "functional". they are in the system so as things change there is a support system already set up. An aside. I encouraged a new member of the group to do this.. and she did even though her loved one was still walking and doing things. He died 6 weeks later. She is forever grateful to the hospice team for their support and guidance. You are an angel here on earth. Know that there are soooo many of us who appreciate you. Hugs to you
It just shows how compassionate you are. Hospice nurses are angels and I hope people can realize this ♥️♥️♥️
Never have to be embarrassed for our tears as I learned and you probably know, Julie. It’s our body’s release of stressful feelings and you know your viewers support you - me for one! My mom just passed 8/22/24 at home with hospice and I thank God every day for loving, caring nurses like you!!❤❤❤❤❤❤Love you all!
We were lucky to have my mother at in patient hospice. We had immediate attention to her needs. Amazing experience
Good advice. Don’t wait…plan. When my 52 year old terminally ill husband was in the hospital and finally decided to sign DNR/DNI orders, his doctor asked me what she could do for me. I asked her to just have everything in order so we could go home and just be together as a family.
Hi Alie, how's your day going with you?
Pre Covid I volunteered at hospice and have the utmost respect for you and what you do. I always felt that it was such a privilege to be present at such an intimate moment in a persons life. It’s so sad to see someone suffering during their last bit on earth. Especially when you know that there is something that would make them more comfortable.
Thank you for what you do in life and on this channel.🙏🏻
Hi Yvette, how's your day going with you?
Honey, shows you have compassion and God gave you that job. God bless you.
Honey you are human and that was a natural reaction. God bless you and all the nurses for your compassion 🙏
My condolences Julie. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your patient.
I've always thought that tears cleansed the poison from the soul. Cry as much as you need to.
You do what you do because you want to help. And when you can't, no matter how hard you try, it can really break you. I worked in the medical field, cardiology specifically, for many years. You remember those patients because you care deeply. By documenting this in such a raw and vulnerable way, you are helping others who may be facing the same thing.
As a hospice volunteer, i see that side of the nurses. Thank you for sharing this. i commend you for it. ❤
Thank you for this. Lost my Dad 2 yrs ago this month to respiratory failure of unknown etiology. After a month in the cardiac ICU at a great hospital, he was released w/no answers, but set up w/Hospice at home. That part was a nightmare - oxygen & supplies dropped off but no one could show us how to use it, our nurse never came, even after me calling regularly, etc. Finally after 4 days we got someone out there who took one look at him, my exhausted and struggling 81 yr old mother, and said “he needs to be in the Hospice Home - like YESTERDAY.” Which is what we wanted to begin with, but he “didn’t qualify.” It’s like nobody believed me when I told them how much pain & discomfort he was having. Eventually got him to the Hospice Home and finally, he got pain relief, and everything else he needed. After a looooong month in the hospital, plus a week of hell at home, he was finally at peace. The nurses in the Hospice Home were wonderful. Very comforting, attentive, reassuring, and they kept the meds flowing as we requested. He died peacefully that night, just abt 8 hours after being admitted. Thank you for all that you do. 💖
I just want to say Thank You Julie. My dad is 90 and on hospice for 6 weeks now. He has Parkinsons. He and my mom share a room in the nursing home which has good points and bad points, too. His appetite is fading, he's losing weight. Chokes on Anything, whether it's thickened liquid or water with a straw. They have their orders but he literally hates the thickened stuff and will drink down a bottle of water with a straw, chin down, whenever it's family are there. They throw away his water and straw once we leave them it's back to not drinking. It's so barbaric to me. Why not let him have water if he wants it!.
Your videos have helped me so much. My daughter just got your book yesterday and I just want you to know what you are doing for people. It's your calling
I thought it horrible to withhold water and food from a dying patient....When we did our medical power of attorney we learned that when a person is actively dying not withholding water and food causes suffering for the patient b/c the kidneys are shutting down.. digestive system is shutting down..giving food and water cause a lot of pain. Our instructions are to withhold food and water when we are actively dying. Our children won't have to make that decision and feel bad that they can't give mom and dad food or water.
The thing people can do for a loved one is to wet their lips with a sponge, put chap stick stuff on their lips or even give them some ice chips.
I totally agree with these suggestions once that person is in the final stages of the dying process. Very loving and humane things you can do for our loved ones. Although, in my instance, my dad isn't quite to that stage yet. I just feel the nursing home could be a little more flexible. More willing to allow him plain water, which is all he wants. That's all. At this stage I would think as long as it doesn't harm him, let the poor man have whatever he craves. Before we know it he won't be wanting anything.
It is an outstanding type of human being that decides to pursue this career and service to others. My only experience with hospice nurses was when I was visiting my dad who was dying from melanoma skin cancer. I was with him as he passed , the nurses were nothing short of professional , supportive , understanding and calm... The focus they have for all concerned at this heartbreaking time is worthy of all the praise society could give them.
I feel you. I soooo feel you. I was just recently been there with my mum-in-law. She was IN hospital. But sadly, the hospital was horribly understaffed. She needed morphine and another med. I went out and found a nurse to explain, and she said "Oh yeah-no problem, one of us will be right there. It took over 2 hours. And when they came, they withheld the amount, though she was at end of life. Believe me, I tried-we could not get her home. We could not get her into hospice. She was STUCK right there-in that situation. The trauma is deep. This was not supposed to happen. I am an End-of-Life Doula, I was there and ready to help. But Mum quickly got unwell from Radiotherapy and ended up on hospital-and that was that. From there-she had 4 falls. One one of them, she fractured her skull. Then she got Cellulitis, then she got Covid (they accidentally moved her from her private room to general population ward). Then she got hospital acquired double pneumonia. The morning they moved her to hospice, she died. There are times, where all the things you do, and I know you -you did ALL you could, Julie. You were there to ease what you had control of, and that you did. I'm not pitying you. I understand. I hope you give yourself some grace. Also, great video on educating the public. THAT is where we need to really get folks onboard and educated. I think we could change so much, if we could do more of this. XOXOXOXO
Thank you for doing what you do and being there for people who need you - patients and their families. My father died after being on hospice for a very short time and it was so hard listening to him struggle to breathe and hearing that “death rattle”, we were very grateful to the palliative care nurses who helped once they administered meds and he was no longer flailing and screaming in pain. It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one that way and I can’t imagine being in that setting on a daily basis - you’re an angel. ❤
Thank you Julie ❤ Crying or being upset only means you have deep emotions and are passionate about your work 🕊🙏💐
My Mom was on hospice before she passed and the nurses were truly Angels. I don't know how our family and my Mom would have coped without them. Thank you for what you do to bring comfort, grace, and dignity to those who are suffering and dying. It truly is an immeasurable gift.
I just purchased your book from Amazon. My husband and I are ill prepared for our deaths. Your videos have helped me so much so I am going to allow you to provide guidance.
Hi Elizabeth, how's your day going with you?
I am not a nurse yet have seen my parents and grandmother go through 'stuff'. I would love to have a nurse like you beside me - caring, condsiderate and compassionate. My Mother's Hospice nurse's were incredible. My Brother wants me to be a Hospice volunter, yet I simply cannot. I am not the person you are, and I really appreciate (having seen what Hospice Nurses do first hand) for not only the Patient but also their loved ones. You have my total respect. Cry sweet Lady - your tears are important.
I'm so proud of the many health care professional who give their all in the most compassionate way possible. I hope I have people like you around me when I come to my end time. God bless you.
Julie, both of my parents had hospice care and I thank God for it. You are a blessing to all of your patients and their families.
I wanted to let you know how extremely helpful you and your channel have been for me caring for my husband who currently went on hospice 2 weeks ago and passed comfortably in our home on his birthday 8-29-24 and all the videos I watched of yours was extremely helpful . God bless you in your work and your channel. 🙌🙏✝️
Thank You for sharing the reality of being a helpful person to our sick and dying family members at home. I'm caring for my 83 year old mom with dementia. Preparing is about not fearing what's happening and working with my mom's doctor. Your experiences are helping me with terminology I can use to have my mom's doctor working with us. Priceless. Thank You so much. We're in the planning phase which comes rather quickly.
God.....
grant nurse Julie the serenity
to accept the things she cannot change; The courage to change the things she can; and the wisdom to know the difference...
It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry (even on the internet). You always handle situations with such grace. The people you help are so lucky to have you. Thank you your videos that are preparing me and giving me the information to best help mom. You are an angel and have a special spot in heaven just waiting for you (but not soon, we need you). Bless you!
I really like the Hospice Nurse called Julie. Much appreciate her take on the struggles of end-of-life care, where things don't go close enough to a controlled situation. You have to protect your heart, Julie, or you are going to suffer burnout. There are more of us out there that will need your care in the future. Protect your heart, dear girl!
Julie, you brought calm and compassion to him. You did not come to him empty-handed or with nothing to offer. ❤
My father was my first hospice patient what I learned in that 14 years is it sometimes you can do your best but you won't because you want to give more you want to comfort better but it's just not meant to be you know that you also need to accept that sometimes you have to cry because if you don't you'll just go crazy and you won't be able to go on
Seeing that more stories are about men - recognize they are a Depression & multiple war generation that believes grit will get them through trouble, and grumbling isn't allowed. They have rarely taken care of ill relatives, and are clueless about the pain associated to different illnesses. They have not seen or been educated how hospice care and medications can make a giant difference to their comfort. They likely have a fear of medicines, the loss of control. This is why the "Hospice Nurse Julie" channel is valuable, timely, educational, hopeful, beneficial, and makes a difference in someone's passing. Julie, thank you for your courage, endurance, empathy, and letting your heart lead. Please, pull back when needed. Talk to God in your darkest days, ask for His healing and help. Your knowledge makes a positive change in this world. The number of grateful families is growing exponentially from your work.
I am 68 yrs old, just diagnosed with now sever emphysema, copd. I live in Oregon and I hope and pray that when that time comes the hospices nurses here are are caring and wonderfully informing for my family. God bless you for helping and caring for those and all families you work with..
Same age and DX. I'm stage 4 and in hospice. I've had days where the pharmacy couldn't get my breathing meds for a week sometimes, Since going into hospice, they get my meds. At imes I don't think I need hospice until I go from my recliner to my bathroom 8 ft away and back makes me appreciate having them with for the rest of my journey, and it could be a year or so, depending on when the lungs want to quit. Wish you comfort on your journey.
Our family has many medical issues and you are the kind of nurse we love as family. You falling apart shows your heart. Love your videos.
Julie you are truly an angel nurse with so much compassion for all your patients. You don't ever have to apologize to any of us followers, for your emotions. You are just being human. Keep doing you.❤
My mother passed in June, under the care of my brother. She had hospice care but my idiot brother who " doesn't like drugs " did not give her the scheduled regime assigned by hospice. Therefore, she was agitated and suffered a good couple months. I was unaware of him withholding the meds. Ar the end she kept my brother awake for several days it sent him into a stroke . Nothing major happened with him but finally she got into a beautiful hospice house, she got what she needed and passed 40 hrs later. Hospice are angels on earth ❤
Julie, you are an angel walking this earth. I don’t know how you absorb so much pain and suffering without falling apart on a regular. I cannot imagine seeing the things you have seen, and being able to keep going back. God bless you. ❤️
You are absolutely amazing! I’ve actually worked in healthcare as a chef for so many years. Spent my days holding hands and loving residents when they have no family or anyone, shared holiday dinners with my residents that had no family that showed up and visited hospice with the residents that I built relationships with. God your a wonderful human Julie, thank you for what you do ❤
You made a difference. He appreciated you being there. It sounds like he released into the reality and comfort of knowing the nurse was there.
I'm so sorry. I've had those days. And those nights. Thank you for this channel. You are doing so much good for anyone who is willing to listen.
You were there for him and even tho you couldn’t do what you wanted just your presence helped him and the family.
I can't even imagine how hard this was for you but It's because of people like you getting through my fathers death was possible. We could never ever had done without our hospice nurse. I can't even imagine how hard it is, please keep going because the world needs you!!
Pausing at 5:20 - thank you for posting this. Change can only happen when we see where the system is broken. I really thought Hospice Nurses were able to carry an emergency kit. Maybe you need to advocate for that. Carry a small amount of each medication, a small oxygen canister, a kit with supplies you may need- because emergent situations do happen. Poor patient😢.
@@JessicaCarnahan-o5q my husband passed 8/30/2024 in hospice at home. When he was brought home from the hospital just the day before, I was told the “compassion kit” would be delivered to our home as the nurses were not allowed to transport narcotics. Fortunately, the hospital medicated him so he was comfortable on the way home and the kit was delivered as the nurse arrived. She gave him medication right away and then started the admission process.
@@debbydaley9192 it basically took an act of God to get my Mother in Love home on hospice. We left the hospital at 8:28- I drove ahead of the ambulance, while my husband followed it. Our hospice team was waiting for us at the house- they thankfully brought the kit with them along with the mouth swabs and diapers. She arrived at the house about 10:30 (yes it was a 2 hour drive from the hospital to home because that's where the best hospital was at). She passed 12-1/2 hours after we got home. I praise God that she was in her own home, with her kitty snuggled up close to her, her Grandbabies got to come see her and she was absolutely comfortable. Her breathing definitely improved and she was so peaceful. Thank you to ALL hospice care givers
Boy, I’m realizing how fortunate I was with my mom. I guess I really lucked out with the hospice service I had in my home for her. Whenever she needed anything, oxygen, an up or change in her meds, everything was delivered ASAP. Julie it was not your fault. Sometimes we are all victims of our circumstances and the powers that be.Your compassion is palpable ❤.
Thank you for teaching us the reality of the dying process and the importance of making patients comfortable thru their personal journey in the end of life. Your passion is truly admired and I can feel the love you have for helping patients thru this journey.
As a RN for nearly 25 years, I’ve worked in the ICU, Acute Care, ED, Hospice, and now Rehabilitation, there have been many days that I’ve cried with my patients and families. Often from sadness and compassion. The pain of feeling helpless is on another level. I’m so sorry- understand that we can feel your pain, frustration and helplessness you faced. Those are feelings that any nurse or caregiver hates to face…You are doing such an important job in teaching us all to prepare for what we will all face. Thank you. ❤❤️🩹🙏🏻
Julie you are an angel. Because you care. Thank you for all you do for us.
Hi Julie, I feel your pain and helplessness. I am retired now, but I was a hospice nurse for 23 years.
I have been in that position as well and it takes a toll.
Thank goodness those instances are infrequent, because most hospice nurses would burn out very, very quickly.
God bless you for your wonderful, caring work.
Oh Julie, I am SO sorry.. but its why you are so loved. You do so very good for the hospice patients and are so good at what you do. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I am thinking of you.
Your Job is Amazing. It takes a very special person to do your job well. You were meant to do this job. Thank you for teaching us.
Awww, nurse Julie your a caring soul ,i hate too see you cry !!! 😢🙏❤️
You said that you got the medication to him as soon as you could, and it wasn't soon enough. That's unfortunate, frustrating, and sad, but let yourself off the hook. As soon as you could, that's all that can reasonably be said about that. You are a wonderfully forthcoming hospice nurse who helps us with some of life's most difficult times. Thank you for this posting. It really, really helps.
Bless you for all you do for your patients. I wish I could give you a hug.
Hi Simone, how's your day going with you?
Thank you for your service to our dying brothers and sisters. Thank you for respecting their choices. Thank you for being a hospice nurse. 💓
My grandma passed at 92 years old in an ICU. ICUs are equipped with every life saving measure to save someone and there she was just in a bed without even an IV in her arm. Despite her age and declining health, no one had prepared for this. When she became short of breath and was admitted to the hospital they didn’t have anything to offer because she didn’t have a personal doctor that could be contacted to order hospice. The nurses were able to give her oxygen but after the fact, I realized she could have passed more peacefully. It wasn’t bad or violent but we all want the best for our loved ones. I can tell you that my family and I were all very grateful to the nurses. As much as you wished you could have done more you also have to realize that just showing up, as an experienced healthcare worker who has navigated many people through the dying process just your presence was probably very comforting to all involved. Just having you there during his passing and immediately after I’m sure was of great comfort to the family and even to the gentlemen who knew you’d probably be a source of comfort and wisdom after he left his body.
I'm sorry :( Yup, it's sad. Neglect is real, I saw it every day as a nurse since the plan demic. And as a patient who is disabled from it. Awful. They are all burnt out too....the hospital was a slammed plamdemic warzome for a few years. I cam't say more, I"m always censured.
As a retired hospice nurse, l know your situation and feel your frustration, but as others have said, he knew someone cared and did not enjoy his demise. You did the best you could do in that situation. You are loved more than you know, respected more than you can imagine, and God is proud of you, as are your viewer recognize. God bless!
Awe Julie, retired ICU RN here. You’re right, we all go through this. I’ve sobbed my way home too many times.
Your situation and job is much different. You wanted a good death for him, more peaceful and less pain. He wanted to die at home, but you and I both know how quickly things can change with palliative to actively dying. Happened with my mom when I was caring for her at home. She had talked with me about her end of life, so I knew. Now it’s time for me to get things lined up for myself. I know what I expect, and have told my children, it just needs to be on paper for them.
Thank you for helping people understand the importance of being ready…🙏🏻🫶🏻xx
I think your emotions about what happened just shows you are a very caring nurse and that's what a nurse is supposed to be. Thank you for showing your vulnerable side!