Scam, they don't pay you back if you're unsatisfied. After two weeks, I decided I didn't want it because I never used it. I've been waiting for a month for my reimbursement.
Your eighties are, according to science, usually your happiest years. Your twenties are usually the most miserable. I keep telling my wife this. We’re 22 and 24. We are just starting out. My parents weren’t financially stable until they were nearly thirty four and thirty five. We have time to make it
I'm a hospice nurse. I have many patients who are in so much pain no matter how many medications we get for them. Some beg and plead to just die already. Some of my patients lose their appetite to the point that they end up starving themselves into a coma and then death. Some are completely alone and the only visitors they get are me and the aides stopping by to check on them and they're so depressed that they can't even enjoy the interaction. They're already terminal, it's terrible that we make them suffer just because some people are uncomfortable with death so they don't want to allow anyone to go out on their own terms.
Yes we all need to bow down to the religious, spiritual and the woowoo people who are more then happy to impose life but do not want to hear those grumpy people who are dying in pain tarnish their dogmatic notions of life being a gift and exercising control of their own mind and body. Such inconsiderate and offensive people!
Isnt it common for pain blocking medications to loose effectiveness after a while? I heard from Medics, reducing Painkillers can cause the Pain to vanish sometimes. So a Patient in big Pain might be on hard meds for a while, then loose them to reset there effectiveness, and then reapply them. Im of course not in the Buisness so im asking.
My grandfather went into hospice and I will forever be grateful for anyone who does the job of caregiving. You people are saints and I hope you are doing well.
@@Sunaki1000 no, pain receptors don't work like that, you have to go several months or weeks before they reduce slightly the capacity to inhibit pain as they did before, and in the meantime the pain won't go away, in fact you'll worsen it because most patients present with abstinence syndrome which is all they've amped it up in films and worse. edit: this is obviously very oversimplified for understanding, but I am a medical professional _not licensed to work in the us_ and obviously this is not a medical consultation.
So as a disabled person, this is a topic for me. I’ve seen my great aunt and uncle waste away in a nursing home. My aunt has gioblastoma. She was given a terminal diagnosis. Even after chemo. I desperately want to live but I want to live untill I can’t take care of myself anymore. I feel like MAiD is a good thing, but as some other comments pointed out ‘We won’t help you live, but we can help you die.’ I don’t want disabled people to be treated as burdens.
Yeah I'm disabled and this is my thought. The fact that they are expanding MAID in Canada but not support services is upsetting. Instead of helping us make our lives worth living they consider us a burden to the system. I've heard horror stories of medical staff getting upset and angry at disabled people when they say they don't want to look at MAiD as an option or that they don't want to be DNR.
I agree so deeply with this- I’m worried about long term brainwashing and abuse by families trying to force people to choose this instead of dealing with the “burden” of their disabled family.
@@whatever3145 We aren’t. Of course disability is multifaceted and different for everyone, I support the right of disabled people to have their own bodily autonomy. No person is a burden however. Society makes us into them.
@@halfpintrr we are all (as humans not just disabled) burdens and that’s ok. I think it’s pretty dishonest to go “nobody’s a burden” because it’s just not true, but being a burden isn’t bad, it doesn’t have to be, it’s ok
This video talks exactly about the trouble I have with the discussion around euthanasia. Yes, I want people who want to die and seeing no other way out to be able to do that. But also, I don't want people to be pushed into choosing to die simply because they've become "inconvenient" for society. Ableism is a difficult thing to deal with, especially given how internalized it often is.
I think it did a brilliant job of showing this. My immediate response after finishing the first viewing (after I got done crying and contemplating my mid-life crisis anxiety about mortality) is that it reminds me of discussing abortion. I haven't actually spelled out the connecting logic yet, but there's tension between the right to life (and the care for future persons) and the right to bodily autonomy. I come down on the side of bodily autonomy pretty strongly. And I also thought about offering someone in Sam's Aunt's situation assistive technology like audiobooks and screen readers. And also, the selfishness of wanting people to stick around to spare our grief. I don't think I have a good answer, let alone a perfect one, and I appreciate the effort to make this very complex and obviously personal topic into a simple one.
Yeah I’m really uncomfortable with euthanasia and part for this reason. History of human euthanasia is too tied up in eugenics for me to ever be comfortable really having a discussion with someone on it. I just get too much of foreboding feeling in flashbacks to school when we learned about how the Nazis would take disabled people to “homes to care for them” and just euthanize them because they determine that was what was best for the person and for Society tm.
@@zoologygirl252 my grandma who lived through ww2 and was in Europe during Nazi occupation said she was afraid when MAID first came out. I think she knows a more about the consequences of this then the policy makers do. Or I’d hope so 🤷♀️ I’m ok with people who are already dying but it become a very slippery slope very quickly.
@@eccentricbluestockin lol no it doesn't. Existing in torture is the slippery slope. I can set myself on fire or I can go quietly. It should be my choice point blank period. My only economic barrier is not being able to afford a gun. The illnesses I have physical and mental are chronic and life long with no cure. I feel like yall see us as children who just don't understand your own value on life. I do not hold those values, and that is my right.
My Grandfather's life was artificially extended against his explicit wishes. It's absurd that in the US, it's illegal to assist suicide for someone who is terminally ill, but forcing them to stay alive is a-ok.
The exact same situation happened to me. All my life, my grandpa said to me and everyone else over and over how his wish was never to be kept alive in the hospital. If things got bad, we were to just let things play out. But some members of my family, especially his brother, refused to honor that wish. For multiple months, I visited him in the hospital and he constantly begged to leave. He had to be watched 24/7 because he would constantly attempt to get out of bed and end up hurting himself further. He broke his hip from this, had it fixed, then broke it again. Finally, after far too long, we settled on hospice. He was gone within the week. If here in the US he could have signed something that made absolutely clear his desires and not had it left to others with other motives, it would’ve been better for him.
My mother was diagnosed with endometriosis which had spread into her lungs. She was too far gone at diagnosis for treatment. Her fucked up viewpoint, and the doctors, forced her to stay alive for another 3 or 4 months, sucking down 20+ lires of oxygen a minute, iirc. She was barely responsive at that point. She should have been allowed to die. But the hospitals need their $$$ and they can get way more of that keeping her body alive.
This happened to my grandfather too. He finally died a month ago but went through so much pain and suffering, and he had dementia so bad that he really didn't recognize anyone anymore and had difficulty forming coherent sentances. All he knew to say is that he wanted to go home, he may not have known where he was but he knew he wasn't at home and he knew he wanted to die there and not in a hospital. It's really sad that people so often don't have the option to leave this world in peace.
@@Flyingpapaya I work in cancer therapy. Can't speak for the hospital you were at, but we often have social workers in to take with people about end of life care and going on hospice when they have advanced cancer that is incurable. Most doctors aren't trying to just pump money out of you. Insurance agencies, yes, holy hell yes, but not most doctors.
@@DialecticRed I'm so sorry. I had to care for both my grandparents, that were for all intents and purposes my parents from shortly after my birth, when they both developed Alzheimer's and dementia. When my grandmother could no longer recognize me, but still go on and on about wanting her grandson to visit it broke me so deeply and so completely that it took over a decade of therapy, battling severe and crippling addiction, and several volumes worth of struggles and pain if I were to write it down. All of that still couldn't compare with what my grandmother faced. She could no longer speak and completely incapable of any type of self care for a very, very long time. Even after all that, when so ill she was hospitalized and expected to pass, she was filled with tubes and medicine to continue what could barely be called an existence. I had no way to stop it. No way to end her suffering. Even just typing this the tears are just flowing down my face leaving my beard soaked, not because of how much I miss her, which I do so very much, but it is because I still feel guilt in the unknown of her experience. I don't know how much she suffered. I don't know how she experienced pain in those final years, and I mean YEARS of being forced to remain with a broken mind trapped in a useless, failing body that kept trying to let go, but wasn't allowed. I have no idea why I am even typing and posting this except that I still need to let it out, but also to say that I understand. Dementia is horrific and I hope that if I or another loved one ever faces it again that a humane option to leave this world with dignity is available. I hope at the end your grandfather found what peace he could. I'm sorry you had to go through it and hope that you are handling it all the best you can. Just know you certainly aren't alone.
Soooo this video is the last straw convincing me to finish my disability application. My imposter syndrome has an insurmountable foe; your relative. Her description of the symptoms leading to her decision was basically also a list of my symptoms, but I’m in my thirties 🙃 if I’m suffering the same pains as a lady at the end of her life, I’m disabled
As a fellow disabled person I’m proud of you!! It can be hard to reckon with and acknowledge especially when it comes to filling out official forms that feel so heavy. Hope you get approved fast 💖
I wish I could apply for disability too, but with my conditions, in my country, I would literally get 30$ a month for it. Seems to me not worth it considering I'd have to spend a long time in hospital for that, meh. But I hope you will get more lucky with it, and fuck the impostor syndrome, your health is the most important thing in your life!
What you say is true, and helps acknowledge your personal challenges yet I will let you know over twenty years ago I was told the same by Stanford doctors and it did me a huge disservice. I may've had a serious list of symptoms/disabling conditions, yet it did not mean I wasn't capable of being creative, seeking out possibilities and finding a way to support myself through it and especially with the support of a loving family, friends and community who had the potential to grow with me along the path to understanding the difference between disability and ableism. I lost family, supports, community, then housing and didn't have enough energy to rally for alternative means of support. I had a 14 year social security case that I had no representative help with that I dropped having reached the 9th court circuit federally when being both threatened and literally exhausted to the point of hopelessness. There's sooooo much else one can do - with really positive means of support and extended community who truly sees you and acknowledges you, as you value yourself and wish to be seen and supported. I wish you so tremendous support and self-compassion along your journey. 🌈🕊️💕
"I'm tired, and I can't give anymore. And I can't live if I can't give." With people like this in your life, no wonder you ended up being such a caring, selfless, radical person, Sam ❤️
Sam, that interview with your aunt was really beautiful. It’s amazing that you got to have that conservation with her, I’m sure a lot of elderly people would love to talk more candidly about what their life is and has been like and what they think about their current position. I struggle to even conceptualize living to her age so hearing her opinions about her life, what makes it worth living, how she’s content with what she’s had and that she’s ready to move on, were really touching to hear and what I hope to feel when I’m at the end of my life. I have a deep amount of respect for her choice and the idea that that’s an option, that you can acknowledge that you’re content with how much you’ve lived, that you don’t want to spend your last years in a state that no longer brings you joy and that you could _choose_ to die when you feel at peace with how long you’ve been alive, is very comforting to me.
What an awesome lady, I’m glad to have gotten to hear her talk about her life and death in her own words. My favorite part is when Sam asked if she’s scared and she said “not at all, I’m in the hands of good people and they’ll make sure I’m dead.” As if the only thing she’d fear is that they’d screw it up and she’d be alive at the end of it. I can’t imagine anything more badass than facing your death head-on and so fearlessly.
One thing that struck me about your aunt's account was that it seemed a large part of her motivation seemed to be social isolation. I'm glad she's happy with her life and at peace with her decision, but it's infuriating to think how she could have been equally content to keep going if she lived in a society that cared for its elders and kept them integrated into its social life. In fact, considering how boredom and isolation have been shown to shorten people's life expectancies, there's a lot of people who would be living longer in that society. Fuck the suburbs. Fuck the advertisers. Fuck the patriarchy. Fuck car centric design. Fuck every last bastard who profits off keeping us isolated.
Hunter gatherers are very happy people from their own accounts, they have a purpose, but when they make contact it all ends for them., like the lord of the rings they change.
I agree with your general point, but I'm also pretty sure that once your body and mind start going like she talked about, it's time to be done. As callous as it may be, no one lives forever, and I can't think of a reason not to let people make that decision for themselves. One last move to make in the grand game of life. The decision to stop playing. There is something beautiful about that to me.
What a great video. Your aunt seems like an amazing woman and it's so generous of her to donate her body to medicine and science. Cadavers are an incredibly valuable resource and do so much to help future and current doctors learn about the human body.
Really awesome video. Personally, I've always felt like that's absolute most badass thing you can do with your body (donating body parts is pretty sick too though). I mean, people are going to take you apart and study you to learn about the body. If you're REALLY lucky, the FBI might bury you in a field and watch you decompose! Not many things are simultaneously altruistic and metal, but donating your body to science definitely qualifies :)
It really does, I make sure to spend at least 2 days a week with my grandma since my grandpa passed from covid, the way her eyes pop up when I come over always makes my heart sink
For various reasons beyond my control I didn't see my dad's side of the family a lot during my teen years. When I moved out I reconnected with them and had dinner together twice a week with my grandparents and aunt for the better part of a year. I was really grateful for that amount of quality time spend when my grandma suddenly had a stroke and died shortly after that, and she was too.
Why? They never talk to me, ask what I've been up to, or how I'm doing, never. All they do, I don't like how you blablabla. I'm 32, I'll do what I like thank you for asking. It's always nagging, its never an invitation to conversation. Why the fuck would I want more of that?
Same here, I've watched two of my grandparents live their last months in agony with no sign of any recovery, yet our elderly pets get mercifully put down when their QOL plummets. It really isn't fair.
@@chattychatotchannel that's not what this comment is saying at all. (although disabled people, like all people, are animals biologically). Someone who has no quality of life, is miserable, in agony, and wants to die is denied the option of a quick, peaceful, predictable and fairly comfortable death. We allow that basic mercy to our pets when they are in the same position, but not human beings. If someone is disabled and does NOT want to die, and/or has a chance at living a fulfilling life (whatever that means to them), then euthanising them is just murder
@@chattychatotchannel That only leads to eugenics when you’re comparing people to animals in a way that makes people seem less deserving of care or respect. This is the opposite of that. This is a way in which we literally treat animals *better* than people, just because we view people as more important than animals, so we should avoid their death at all costs, even when they want it.
@@chattychatotchannelsaying people shouldn’t suffer is eugenics now? All living beings deserve dignity, and that includes death sometimes. That’s not eugenics, that’s being kind and not holding people to live against their will if all options have been exhausted and QOL of life is abysmal. Sincerely, another disabled person.
my grandma died of alzheimer's and seeing her decline is why my parents decided that they had to move back to Canada and include in their will under what circumstances they would want medically assisted suicide.
Where it gets the most messed up for me personally is when assisted death for mentally ill people is brought into the conversation. There was a time in my life when I had been severely mentally ill since hitting puberty and was deeply suicidal even in therapy and on medication. I was in denial about my gender dysphoria. I really thought it was impossible for me to be happy, ever, and everything seemed to be proving me right, because the things I had been told would make it better, therapy, medication, growing up, didn't. I attempted suicide and it was only after almost dying that I dared to accept my transness, because I had forced myself to face the fact that staying closeted was going to literally kill me, and it was uphill from there. Transition was the thing that actually helped, but before that, I would have done anything in my power to get assisted suicide, if it had been available to me, and societal transphobia could have killed me, if I lived somewhere that assisted suicide for mentally ill people is available. I see myself as living proof that even after being suicidal for years, it is possible to find and address the cause and get better. I hate that in some places, people are sitting around determining who they think should die, claiming to actually be able to tell some suicidal people that they're right and there is no hope for them.
I am also trans and deeply relate to what you wrote. I've been through the same history. I was also labeled as "unfixable" by my transphobic family who, up until the day I cut off contact with them, considered my mental health to be irrevocably unstable and permanently broken. I am in my mid-30s now, have multiple degrees, a loving wife, and so much joy. From my teens through my mid -20s, I wouldn't have believed that things would have turned around. I wasn't terminally mentally ill, I was trans! I believe in autonomy to end one's life in a peaceful manner, but state assisted dying in this hellworld of systemic problems shows a lot of intense possibilities for exploitation and tragedy.
I agree 100%. Yeah, I people should have agency over their body. That applies to how you dress yourself, what you eat for breakfast, whether you have an abortion, or when you want to die. But I don’t like the idea of our capitalistic hellscape being given even more credence to decide whether some people are worth more dead than alive. If that choice is gonna be worth a damn, then it needs to be done without social coercion.
I like euthanasia for severe and terminal illness. I just worry about our for-profit, USA health insurance: "We won't pay for chemotherapy for you, even though there's a reasonable chance it might actually work. It's SOOO expensive! But we're happy to stall for a while, then pay for inexpensive euthanasia services, when your pain gets too bad!" 😠
My grand-mother died just before medical assisted d**th was legalised. Being religious, she would probably not have taken it anyway. But the one thing she could do, was to starve herself. She had parkinson for a while and was starking to have dementia. I wish she could have had a less painful one. The thing is, that like with abortion, even if its not legal people will still do it. A doctor might "forget" a bottle of pill in front of a patient, another patient will "mistakenly" take too much pills, etc. Assisted death, give agency. It give the familly the time to make a last visit, the time to give a last goodbye. It make it so the familly dont have to find their lived one death in their house. Like tons of people will give it to their pet, if they see them suffering too much. Because they understand thatvtheir pet dont have a quality of life anymore. But they refuse it to fellow humans,, ?
This is a very good point. It will happen, but it happens slowly, painfully, alone. I would much rather someone be loved, cared for and without pain right up to their last moment. I’m ever so sorry your grandmother had to go that way. It’s not the kindness or dignity she deserved 💚
As someone who has spent almost all their live with suicidal thoughts, resistance to allowing people to die has always struck me as cruel. People are willing to go to the effort to stop you from dying but not to make it so that you don't want to do it in the first place. I've never felt like it was from a place of actual concern, only ever as a prop for their worldview at large.
Agreed! It's simply a projection of their own fear of the unknown/death. It happens to everyone, why isn't it seen as normal as growing up/another life event???
So many times I've been involuntary institutionalized, stuck with thousands in medical bills after being taken against my will. They kidnap you and force you to continue to suffer for their own selfish pride.
I mean I get the point, and I don't know the people you surround yourself with, but if someone is trying for you not to kill yourself they probably do care for you. Mental illness is an often invisible problem, I don't think it's fair for me to expect other people to know how to make me not want to kill myself. I don't even know how.
And bc so many believe personally that the worst fate is death. That is very naive and childish and speaks to lack of experience with severe mental health issues.
Oh man, the statements about losing memory around 35min… that hit me very deep. I’m in my early 20’s and have some pretty bad memory problems. Dying doesn’t scare me- but losing my memory, my sense of self- that scares me. And that feeling, that you’re teetering on the edge, where you’re still conscious of your deficiencies but can’t do anything to help yourself- it’s horrifying. That I will forget the people I love, the memories of happiness and sadness and beauty, the vulnerability of everyone around me becoming strangers and not being able to be responsible for myself, and even becoming a stranger to myself…
As someone once said, I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of how it often goes so slow and painfully. Or words to that effect-and I wholly agree, I'm not afraid of death itself, I just want it to get painless and quick
@@willywonka7812 a quick one too for me, and a guaranteed one because shooting yourself in the head isn't guaranteed (not that I could get a gun anyway). I forgot to add I want it to be a relaxing death too. But here in the UK so far it doesn't seem like it's going to happen any time soon although if us Scots manage to become Independent I truly believe we will have medically assisted suicide in some form as I remember a poll being done and there were far more North of the border that is in support of it. For a lot of things we tend to be a more socially progressive country but often Westminster holds us back sadly. One day though, more than anything I want to see that before I leave this earth
The fear of death has gotta be the dumbest trait we've held onto as an animal species. My view is you get a set number of days and you go when you go!! Death's an inevitability. I agree, when it's here, get it over done with hahaha
@FriedIcecreamIsAReality i genuinely don’t have that kind of thought. don’t want kids. Love my friends and Fam but i just find life boring lol. could be my last day tomorrow and i wouldn’t sweat cos death is just another step in a journey imo
I’m a Certified Euthanasia Technician (someone who is not a veterinarian but is trained and legally allowed to administer euthanasia drugs via injection to dogs and cats) and I gotta say, humane euthanasia is not a bad way to shuffle off this mortal coil if the alternative is just a whole lot of unmitigated suffering and then death, but typically once I’m involved all other resources to ease suffering have been exhausted. Quality of life assessments do vary between animal welfare organizations, but I like to take into account things like the animal’s ability to move freely in their environment or engage in reinforcing activities. Many animals are able to move freely with mobility aids and pain management and enjoy enrichment and reinforcing activities. I’m not intending to compare people and animals here, but instead to illustrate that there are people for whom discussions about quality of life and decisions about euthanasia are a daily part of our jobs and our lives and we are having these discussions daily with our colleagues with the aim always of easing suffering and carefully evaluating each animal’s quality of life individually. AND Y’ALL IT’S PRETTY HARD BUT IT’S ALSO VERY REWARDING. And I think it’s what I would want for myself in the end.
I've worked both in a vetmed research facility and currently in an emergency vet hospital and I completely relate to what you're saying... Euthanasia and death in general is always very sad, but the alternative of trying more elaborate treatments and prolonging very obvious suffering is even more heartbreaking. Vets do their best to consider the animal's welfare, animals can't directly express their suffering but people *can* to their doctors-- and wholly consent to it, at that. I truly don't understand how America and other countries outlawing it can be so cruel to deny people of that, regardless if they have a terminal illness or simply just want a for-sure, safe, non-alienated and lonely reprieve of their life..
You're a hero doing what you do. Many people, including myself, couldn't perform your job duties and you really do need to know how valued you are for choosing a difficult, but incredibly important career. The peace you have brought to suffering creatures makes the world a better place every day that you and others in the position perform the role. I know some jobs can be thankless, but I wanted to make sure that at least one random internet stranger thanked you for committing to doing something so potentially burdensome, but so immeasurably valuable. So, thank you.
@@ratwav we JUST had a torsion case that we euth’d because we just couldn’t get her stable and she was really suffering. Exploratory surgery was on the table as an option, but her vitals were so poor that I really didn’t think she’s survive the anesthesia. We ended up sending her for necropsy and it was pretty clear that the condition was fatal and we’d made the right call.
I know of a man that gave up trying for the right to die with dignity instead of from a long, slow death from cancer because the state of California makes it so hard. Instead he bought a shot gun and was found by a friend with his brains blown out. I know that this is a complicated issue but even in "liberal" California it is handled so poorly with no willingness to make this a workable system that gives people a reason to live but also meets their need to die without suffering possible.
@@lsuzicosbw644 I know this comes from some stranger on the Internet and may be late, but I wish you the best. There are people that do or will care for you out there, I just want you to know that
My great grandfather died when he was 89. He was diagnosed with cancer and declined treatment. I was young at the time and can’t speak on if he would’ve rather have a medically induced suicide. But I can speak on the stories of him in the nursing home. Since it was a nursing home, he was only allowed to stay there under the guise of “maintaining life.” That’s my crude understanding of it. So a dying, elderly man had to complete daily physical therapy. It was so bad that my grandfather’s physician spoke out against it, calling it cruel. I will never understand how a society can simultaneously put so much value in life, and yet, value it so little.
my grandfather passed away with maid, and it was kind of surreal. He had all his family over and talked to us all one on one, then said goodbye. and the evening of the day he passed he had arranged a kind of cocktail party celebration, and it was nice. How he died did reflect who he was, like you said. he was constantly trying to be a better person, right up until the end.
I’m a US nurse.. Yolanda’s death experience description deeply moved me. In my experience, I’ve seen so much unnecessary suffering, most often not because of explicitly stated patient wishes, but because family has made the choice for them in their incapacitated state. It’s profoundly disturbing to administer care that is simply prolonging suffering & steals their dignity. There are “ethics committees” you can get involved, but guess what doesn’t fare well together? Ethics & profit-driven healthcare…
Who's to say that, without MAID, those sisters with the chemical sensitivity wouldn't have just done it unassisted? I think that's important to consider. Eliminating MAID wouldn't necessarily save the disabled people who chose it. It might just force them to take a more painful way out.
It depends. People who seriously want to die typically want it to be easily accessible, relatively painless, and have a high rate of success. Before the late 60s the most common method of suicide in Wales and England was carbon monoxide poisoning from a gas stove, but through the 60s and 70s there was a sharp decline in suicide rates in those countries as carbon monoxide was removed from the public gas supply. Most people who might have killed themselves that way didn't just find a different way. Now that being said MAID isn't nearly as simple as turning on a stove so this might not really be relevant at all. I believe assisted suicide is a right, and more than anything I think the story of those women should be a reminder of why we need significantly better accomodations for disabled and poor people beyond access to death.
I think a lot of the context regarding cases like this gets lost when talking about MAiD. And I wish this video went into a bit more detail on the topic. In those specific cases, the folks with chemical sensitivities went on record saying they would not have chosen MAiD if they were able to afford adequate housing. So Being unable to find appropriate housing that's affordable shouldn't be insurmountable. Inadequate/unaffordable access to medical care or medical equipment shouldn't be insurmountable. Disabled people shouldn't only have the choice between dying slowly from starvation and neglect or MAiD. Canada had made it a lot easier to qualify for MAiD while making it near impossible to live on disability assistance (in Ontario, ODSP needs to more than double before it reaches the poverty line -- a single person on ODSP is given less than the amount rent costs for a 1 bedroom apartment). Too often I hear stories of medical professionals educating disabled folks on the cost of their healthcare, and that they could qualify for MAiD -- as if to frame their decision to go on living as unreasonably selfish. It's fine and well to recognize there's a problem with the abject poverty disabled people are subjected to, but to then to shrug it off as unfix-able is extremely cold and irresponsible. When the disabled community complains about how difficult it is to live due to poverty, the governments reaction seems to be to just make it easier to die. TL/DR: While you have a valid point, these people, and so many others, would not have considered MAiD if they were simply provided reasonable accommodations. That our society would rather allow them to die than accommodate their disability says a lot about our society.
There's problems with it on multiple levels, with family pushing disabled family members to do it, the fact that providing MAiD and making it easier to commit suicide is something the government is more willing to do than just spend the money on providing affordable and safe accommodation, the fact that disabled people shouldn't be pushed to that in the first place. The problem is when non-disabled people commit suicide we see it as a tragedy that should be prevented by getting that person care to improve their life, when disabled people are suicidal it's just seen as the reality of their situation or unavoidable. A young disabled person expressing suicidal thoughts should be treated with as much effort and intent to save them as someone who isn't disabled. But the reality is that just doesn't happen, and enabling MAiD for people where the problem isn't that they don't want to live, but rather that they don't want to live like this, only reinforces the validity of those practicing medicine who don't make the effort to save disabled people or make their lives comfortable. The problem is seeing a non-disabled suicide as something that must be prevented, but disabled suicide as unpreventable and not being worth the effort to prevent. If your viewpoint is that everyone (including young and healthy) should have access to MAiD then yeah sure that's irrelevant, but if you wouldn't want MAiD enabled for young healthy people on the premise that they have a long life to live and their quality of life could be improved, then that stance should remain the same for young disabled people where their condition isn't terminal. I think it is also important to note, that even the disabled people who feel like they have no other choice are also often firm advocates for better accommodations as opposed to enabling MAiD for disabled people. For myself and many other disabled people, even those of us who have had periods of being suicidal, we know that enabling MAiD on a governmental level is a cop out from providing us quality care and comes from seeing us as burdens and forcing us into death through enforced poverty. Additionally, unless the regulation is really solid, it is super easy for doctors to put non-consensual do not resusicate orders on patients who's lives they don't see worthy of living (especially common with autistic and intellectually disabled folks) and there is a long history of eugenics being framed as an honourable thing to do or covering up mass murder or unwanted killing of disabled people as "mercy killing" - so there is a huge reason why many of us are scared of this, having MAiD legal for those who aren't already dying creates the risk of others being able to pressure disabled people into death or cover up the "disposal" of those with high care requirements whilst not raising questions on what is happening. That specifically is what is most scary for disabled people as we don't have a reason to trust the medical establishment or government to not be ableist and to care about keeping us alive yet.
My best friend's grand-grandmother is 105 now. I remember the time when I realized that her husband, who was one of the last people she regularly communicated with, died more than 20 years ago - and he had lived to a more than respectful age of 87. She can't wait for the death to come for her but it just isn't coming (and her granddaugher understandably does everything in her power to manage her health), so she's stuck in this limbo for decades, slowly deteriorating mentally and physically.
If you're looking for a sign that you should write you will, this is it, my friend! My mom was relatively young and healthy and died suddenly 3 months ago. The fact that she had her legal and financial shit together saved us so much extra heartache. Let it be your final act of love to your friends and family! They'll be so thankful you did it!
Same thing from my family. Having your wishes known is so important. Death requires a lot of paperwork. So much so you generally can’t mourn for a while bc of said paperwork. My thoughts are with you Katie.
So I'm currently a mobility driver for an ambulance company, I basically drive people who are wheelchair bound (mostly older people) to doctors appointments, dialysis, and home from the hospital. While working this job has made me better understand the need for MAID, I also found that watching this video, I, a 22 year old, have felt the same emotions, existential tiredness, and lack of will to do anything, as your great aunt.
I have my VPN set to Australia, so I get KFC and gambling app ads instead of military and super PAC ads for midterm elections. The text spam from both sides of the aisle is strong this year, even though I've never signed up for any lists and have reported them all to my carrier as spam. Politicians are exempt. 😒
In the Netherlands you can't get MAID until multiple doctors agree you've had every treatment imaginable and there's no hope of any improvement anymore. For a friend of mine applying for MAID actually opened doors to treatment that she did not have access to before, despite her life being clearly unliveable. Like why can't we make sure people have access to those things anyway. (Unfortunately none of the extra treatments she's done over the past 3 years made it any better and she's going through with it. And it's hard but I truly believe it's a good thing her suffering will finally end)
My dad deteriorated so rapidly from the initial diagnosis of cancer to death, only 9 weeks, that we never had to have this conversation. I do remember sitting by his bed, when he was lying there so tired and full of drugs that his mouth was open but even then is eyebrows were still creased in pain that I hoped it would come soon for him but I still felt guilty when me and mum signed the DNR form. Ya did a hell of a job with this video Sam.
I had a similar experience. If he could have had something more to speed up or ease that last hour or so of discomfort, I'm sure he would have taken it. It's painful to watch your loved one's body holding on when you know they're mentally ready to go.
I had a similar experience. After my dads cancer diagnosis he deteriorated very fast. He was in excruciating pain for a full 3 weeks before his death. Not even morphine helped it just turned him into a zombie not even eating & never being fully conscious but still in pain. Nobody should have to go through that.
I have a chronic illness and I live in fear that one day I may lose my husband- my only lifeline. I'm actually scared because I realized I'd be eligible for this program (Canadian). I don't want to die, but if I was going to end up unhomed or living such a poor quality of life that I was suffering so much, I'd rather not live at all. It's wrong though, isn't it? We should provide a decent life to people with disabilities. It's a toughie since obviously it's not realistic for things to change that dramatically.
Yeah, the solution shouldn’t just be to make it easier for you to die when the powers-that-be deem you more valuable dead than alive. For a choice as big and important as whether to go on living, you should actually be given a choice. Debt or death isn’t a choice.
@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick yeah exactly, and I think that's my biggest problem. Providing MAiD for a disabled person who feels its their only choice, it isn't true consent. For it to be consent their has to be a choice, and every other avenue truely has to have been offered and provided first, but in a world that doesn't even deem us worthy enough of life to just wear a mask on public transport or provide a living wage/proper access to care and social engagement, then that isn't a choice. It is just coerced eugenics. So I have no problem with individuals choosing it in this moment while there is no alternative, the problem is with the government and a society that would rather make it easier for us to die than work together to provide us with care.
I'm disabled and homeless and have been less than a week out from finding something over the counter to take all of to never wake up for close to a year now. I honestly wish I had access to the services in the video because I'd like something more peaceful than organ failure due to too much ibuprofen or whatever. And I sure as fuck can't talk to a mental health professional about this while also giving them access to a method of finding out my location, because then I'd get locked in a psych ward without any way of contacting my loved ones and if anything get further from actually having a place to live, potentially ever.
@@chocokittybo ☹️ Can I just say it really, REALLY angers me that you're in this situation? Housing and medical care should be a human right, not a commodity. I wish there was something effective I could do. 😭 I'm just a luckier poor person.
It's awful you're in a situation like that. What would you want most out of an interaction with a passer by (if anything)? I walk by a lot of unhoused people and I never really know what to say/do, but I feel like I should be doing something. Also fuck capitalism we need to embrace a new economic system that doesn't trest people like shit and actually cares about them
that old lady made me so emotional. There's something beautiful about being so content with the life you lived and just ready for it to be over. Not out of pain, fear, or any of that. Just... Life was lived. This was a great video, very informative and a good highlight of the more negative aspects of assisted death too.
A handful of years before MAID, my grandmother had pretty severe dementia, both from natural Alzheimer's plus a few exacerbating lifestyle choices that the Alzheimer's made worse because she'd forget and just keep doing them. She had a DNR placed on her file, and yet despite that, when her heart started failing the medical team caring for her fit her with a pacemaker instead with no consent from anybody. As far as I know they got in trouble for it, but it's not like they could take it back. Either way this pacemaker extended her life for so long that her dementia got to the point where she could not move and could not speak, but there was the pacemaker, forcing her to stay like that long after her heart would have naturally given up. She most certainly did not find any peace in it. At the same time, I've seen so many disabled friends and peers of mine be put into this situation where there really genuinely is no hope for improvement just on a frank assessment of the facts due to capitalism and bad government policy. The way Leslie talked about MAiD early on in the video matches very closely with this side of my experience of death, where instead of addressing the underlying issues with finances and access to community that make life untenable, the government instead goes, well, we can help you die. Add in chronic mental health issues, add in the societal attitudes to the elderly and disabled which strongly impact those groups perspectives on themselves too, and it just gets to the point where it feels like everything is just set up to make people want to die. No conspiracy, no kind of intentional end goal, but just the natural conclusion of so many dynamics pointing people in that direction. So, like, I don't know. The discomfort around having this system exist in capitalism is pretty intense to me, but then, does that mean the solution is overcoming capitalism? Obviously yes, but I'm not sure a doctor can prescribe that and we can pick it up from the pharmacy. I know my grandmother needed a way out, to not have to suffer like that. But I know that as the mental health of people I know who are disabled and in debt gets hammered endlessly, I loathe the idea that the system may offer MAiD and think they're doing a favour.
I have discussed this option for myself with my spouse. Existing in chronic 24/7/365 pain with NO effective pain control medication has left me bed bound. There is no hope for recovery without major expense and even more pain. Neither of which are good options for myself. Access and cost are the barrier even for this option.
@@scapegoatmiller9110 the medical system currently in the US is profit based not patient care based. The long term care system is filled with neglect of patients while also being incredibly expensive. I don’t see this changing in my lifetime.
@@mizztab3677 have you considered expatriating? I've been looking into the logistics of it for myself--despite the difficulty of the process, would be far better than a preventable early death or chronic suffering
I have a friend with this issue. BC, a province with no long term care options for people with mental health illnesses, has decided that the only place to house my severely mentally ill friend either in forensic psych ward, or the streets. She's currently attempting to access medical assistance in dying because she cannot find housing. She's been evicted from tertiary care homes for crying too much. She lives on the street. You know what it's like to live on the streets with delusional paranoia? That's the kind of illness that turns a loving, happy friend into a screaming, bone-breaking brute. Disability pays 1/4 of the average cost of rent. MAD has become eugenics for the disabled.
stories like this hurt me so much. I also have friends who are extremely mentally ill and living in poverty, and the idea that they might choose death because they can't find help is a painful thing to think about. As a society, we've come a long way in mental health acceptance, but it seems to stop when it comes to "scary" disorders that deal with psychosis and delusions. Your friends life has infinite value and I hope they find their way out of the situation they're in ❤
But has it really? The problem I see is the lack of care for long-term mental illness. Why is making the end of their lives more miserable for many people helping your friend? Keep fighting for better mental healthcare but don’t treat this as a situation in which we can only have one. How was mental healthcare before MAID? Significantly better, I assume?
All of this. Thank you. It is eugenics, and people are often coerced into this situation. I cannot condone MAiD as an "option" that is offered to disabled people. Disability is determined under a social model. More social supports should be offered, and low cost housing. At the absolute minimum. Not what passes as "affordable" in BC. It clearly isn't. UBI would be nice. Also, who the fuck evicts someone for crying? That is disgusting.
Recently during a chronically suicidal phase that lasted a year, when my bipolar became treatment resistant, I got in touch with Dignitas and they were fully on board with helping me to die. I am so fucking glad I didn't do it.
Yeah, this is exactly the type of situation that puts me firmly against MAiD for folks who don't have a terminal illness or who aren't really old. I've had years where my illnesses have made me completely bed bound, constant pain, constant exhaustion, unable to do anything, but it's not that I didn't want to live, I just didn't want to live a life where I had no support. Yet, so many governments and people would rather just allow me to die rather than go to the effort to help me live life comfortably, I'm only 22 and I am so so glad that MAiD wasn't available for me in my country because I probably would have considered it, and it would have been an incredible mistake because I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons.
may i ask why you are glad you didn't? im bipolar in a depressive episode and i'm constantly on the lookout for stories of it getting better so i can remind myself that it does
@@jobeiden I used to get really mad whenever people told me it got better because it felt hollow and like they were just placating me and minimising how I felt but now I am on the opposite side of the fence I must shout it does get better. It's incredibly hard getting there and you fight every step of the way but when you get to the other side you are stronger and it has hurt so much but now it feels so liberating being better and then as you get older time seems to go faster like when I was at my sickest I was still in school and everything was so slow and every day was a fight with my family because I did not want to go because I felt too unwell and just wanted to die but now days pass in an eyeblink and you get to look forward to nice things and feel more in control of your life and it's liberating. I believe in you! You can do it! It's really tough but you are strong and bipolar is a brutal illness and I am sorry you are suffering from a depressive episode but you are tough and can make it through it will be hard and you are so strong and awesome for keeping going you're amazing!!
@@jobeiden It's really easy, when you're in the depression, to think that this will last forever, or it will pass but it will come back, and that's true. But you forget how you feel when it does pass, and it will, and the feeling of just being able to get out of bed, do laundry, make my bed, have breakfast and smile at the day makes living all worthwhile. Being able to engage with my family and friends again, that feeling of love. But I was chronically suicidal for a whole year, I empathise with you completely. All I can say is, hold on. This really, really will pass, that's the nature of the illness we have. And the good times, you've forgotten them because that's what bipolar does to you, but they are so, so good.
A friend of mine died a few years ago by suicide, and I have such mixed feelings about it. I know it was what she wanted and was at peace with at the time (though we tried so hard to get her help) but I also think there is a strong possibility things could have improved for her if she had gotten the right care. It's very sad, but at the end of the day I don't know if it would have been better for her to be locked up in a place where she would have been forced to stay alive. It's just a really hard call. What I know for certain is that the mental health system failed her and did not explore all the possible options that could have maybe improved things for her, and that is extremely wrong.
The moment you talked about Dignity brought me right back to my uncle's stroke, on that terrible tuesday 2 months ago. When he realized what was happening. Touching his face, noticing he wasn't feeling it anymore. Absolute medical negligence as the staff was quarelling with another patient that was recovered and wanted to leave soon. He had this realization, and started laughing hysterically -- he couldn't speak, but he could laugh. The nurse brashly asked "Is he always like that?" and I said, with a shaken voice, ˆNo. He was just fine a few hours ago." He immediately stopped laughing and stared at me. The last time we truly communicated. What followed was two months of coma, and eventually, a cardiac arrest, at the age of 56. We celebrated our birthdays, octn 17th and 19th, with eachother. Everyday I sang him "Across The Universe" by the Beatles (but that I just care for because of Hikaru Utada) gosh that was a fucking insane two months. He died on october 29th. We buried him the day after. It`s surreal. His house, frozen, revealing the sordid depression he lived him, and all the melancholic mementos he kept, the little things he`d take from our trash, like broken miniatures or instruments, or handwritten shopping lists. My sister`s drawing inside his closet.The Beatles mug I gave him and he never once drank from. The empty bottles of fancy pepper sauce I bought him for his other birthday. Oh gosh. Well, it was good writing this. This was a good video. I wanted to finish this comment with a quirky "the moment I saw your Sepultura t-shirt I knew I had a crush on you" but i don't even give a shit anymore. This started as a comment and I don't know what it is anymore. I'm just glad I was able to sing to him and hold his hand these 2 months. And I had the greatest uncle -- the greatest Dad -- I could've asked for. Wtf im sobbing bye
I am sorry about your loss. He seems to have truly loved you, and appreciated the love you had for him. I hope you are doing as well as is possible, given the circumstances, and begin to look back on him with a smile soon.
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story here. You told it in such a way as I could see you and see your uncle. And I could glimpse the love you had for one another. I wish you strength with your terrible loss.
@@aussieevonne7857 @Guineapigsreadingbooks thank you to both of you for your words of kindness. It's incredibly painful to look back, and I can't bring myself to reread my own comment - despite time moving on, i still dream of him being with us every week, and flashes of painful regret flood back. A feeling of overpowering weakness, but it's irrational. Still, I think at this rate I have mostly managed to turn him into valuable loving memories. And that's how we keep living, day after day, isn't it? I have been smiling, crying, loving all my family, struggling, going to therapy, working, dreaming, tomorrow's my university entrance exam - a thing he never managed to achieve, despite his wonderful intellect and technical prowess. It's hard to parse whether it feels cynical or reassuring that we're able to "move on". I guess it's both. But yeah... That will be that. Thank you once again, wherever you are. 💓
I have fibromyalgia and EDS-hypermobile type. I live in a lot of pain every single day. There's not a lot of medication out there for me to feel better: pot makes me paranoid and opioids make me throw up. I love Leslie's videos, but I feel like if I wanted to die, I should be able to, even knowing the system is failing me. I still have things to do in my life, and I'm also living for my family, but when the time comes (probably earlier than most people) I just want to be able to opt-out. There is no cure for either of my conditions at this time, even though I so much want it to be otherwise. I don't feel I should have to be terminal; I also shouldn't have to wait for the state to become progressive enough to help me. I live in so much pain every day that I think many people could not fathom going on without relief. And before you post all of your cure alls, just know that questions beginning with "have you tried" are almost always answered with yes. There is no way I'd be alive today if someone had told me when this started that there wouldn't be anything to help me. Yes I have tried it, and no it didn't work, and please don't dm me with your miracle cures. I really appreciated this video and I look forward to your future videos. Your music and thoughts are of equal quality-- they are both wonderful and something I continually look forward to as a distraction from my pain.
Thank you for this comment. My mom also has fybromialgia as well as escoliosis and she has talked to me about euthanasia before. I support and respect her decision but I admit that I'm still a teenager and the prospect of her death scares me. But yeah.. as you say she should be allowed to opt out when the time is right, I understand her a bit more
We’ve done a lot in medicine to extend lifespan, but with that we need to also ensure quality of life- living to 85 instead of 80 isn’t much of an achievement if those 5 years are spent in great pain, loneliness, and unhappiness…
Holy shit this is a fantastic video. I'm in America, Gram knew she wanted to die about 8 years ago. She had a few good years after that still but spent the majority of it either not very happy or without the capacity to express whether she was happy or not. It seems like such a cruel end for someone who was nothing but generous, kind, and gentle for her entire life. It was probably the happiest funeral I've ever attended, not because we were happy she was gone, but that we were happy she finally got what she wanted and didn't have to suffer anymore. Anyway, yeah, the laws here are ludicrous.
The sections of the conversation you had with your aunt made me surprisingly happy. It seems like she really has done everything in a life you could want to do and I love that she’s taking charge over what happens to her. She seems like a very kind, vivacious, and smart woman, and I hope she passes peacefully. It really hit me when she talked about how she’s not getting any younger, time will just keep moving on and she’ll keep deteriorating, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. Up to that point I had kind of been thinking “well she could get a motorized wheelchair! And e-readers or audiobooks and maybe her family could spend more time with her, etc. But the memory issues still won’t go away, and her back pain will still be there, and she’ll still be 92 and fragile and tired and she’s happy with the life she lives and has no second thoughts or fear. And that just makes me weirdly happy… to see someone so in touch with their life and their feelings to truly accept death and embrace it with good humor. I hope when my time comes, if I’m lucky enough to be able to, I can accept it with the level of grace she does.
my closest family member, my auntie, told me 5 days ago that she plans on stopping chemo and that she has 1 year to live and might consider mads. ive been grieving on/off everyday since. the timing of this video is hitting me. thank u for this
Your aunt seems like an absolute star of a human being. I was really touched hearing her story and so glad she gets to go out on her own terms. Do us a favour tho… keep us updated and let us know when she takes her last bow. It would just be nice to know so many people will have a chance to pause and think of her again…
I grew up in nursing homes, cleaning rooms with my mother and reading in the common areas and this video unlocked some very long-forgotten core memories.
Obviously I didn't know your great aunt, but I'm watching your whole interview with her. The peace she is at is really beautiful - even outside of the context, just the way she is talking here. She is a fulfilled human person in this video; and you really honor her by sharing the whole thing. And even though your essay is done, I feel I should honor her by watching to the end.
This was hard to watch and so good. I grew up terrified of death. In my 40s, I finally attempted to confront that fear. Ask a Mortician helped a lot as did her books. I begrudgingly made my peace with it when I realized that the whooooooole MEANING OF LIFE is that we die. And just cuz it’s SOP with me and my comments, as always, Will Jarvis’ songs are so rad.
Her channel is great , i mean she is. Her kooks likely are too. Also her activism to make deaths afortable an alternative if wished is great. Luik there is a term for corpse obber, that is about an eploitative funeral industry, not actual grave robber. So yeah he an her glorious humor are great.
My concern with this has always been disabled or sick people opting to end their lives because they're afraid of being a burden on their families, or worse, being pushed into it by a family who do, in fact, see them as a burden. Of course if it really is something someone has decided is right for them as they can't deal with the suffering anymore it should probably be allowed, but I'd definitely want strict safeguards in place. If the problem could be solved by circumstance change I don't think they should qualify, though of course I also think sufficient assistance should be provided to achieve that.
Yeah, as someone with a large range of disabilities, chronic illness, mental illnesses, and who is neurodiverse I feel exactly the same. Most of my conditions are life long and adjusting to living this way is incredibly hard and I have had suicidal periods, but I don't think I should be approached any differently to any other suicidal young person who's situation could be improved by circumstance or support change. There needs to be proper safeguards in place to prevent folks using MAiD as a cover for the "mercy killing" or eugenics of disabled people.
In some ways it mirrors abortions in that way. I am all for bodily autonomy, and hence also abortions. But it also saddens me to think of people wanting to continue the pregnancy, but are not financially able to support a child. Or disabled people with too few supports to give a child a worthy life. People who learn that their child would likely die of medical neglect because the biological condition they would have wouldn’t be treated due to corporate greed. I am by no means meaning to make a direct comparison, since the differences between the two far outweigh the similarities.
As a nurse who has been with a few family members taken off life support and having seen the horrors that can befall people with no autonomy due to health issues, this video is incredibly important. Several years ago my mom, who is also a nurse, helped get the signatures to pass the "death with dignity" act in my state to enable physician assisted suicide. People should have the choice in how they are treated and how they live; thank you for highlighting this issue and God bless you and your family. ❤️
Someone got me to drink bongwater when I was a teenager. They laughed really hard for about 30 seconds. Then I projectile vomited all over their living room, with significant splashing hitting pretty much all in attendance. Pretty sure they never tried that lovely prank on anyone else after that, lmao.
This is an odd distinction to make. I want to die to make the pain to stop because that is the only way. There is no other method, sadly. But it is important to note that these aren't mutually exclusive.
I currently live in a place with MAID laws in place. It's currently available to those with terminal illness and it's such a necessary aspect of end of life care. I'm disabled, always have been and always will be, and while I'm concerned about the ways it will be used, I'm glad it's an option. I am hoping that MAID will be available for me when I am disabled to the point when my quality of life is no longer acceptable. We absolutely need to fight for universal & accessible patient care, safe housing, universal income, etc but the fight for MAID and the fight against ableism are deeply intertwined. A person needs to be able to survive & thrive regardless of disability, and needs to be provided with maximum bodily autonomy (including in death) in the course of care. I think it's short-sighted to argue against all MAID until society has become fully disability-inclusive. As much as I hate to say it, the system is already killing us, harming us, denying us treatment and care and dignity; the ability to choose a safe & painless death is a luxury few disabled people have access to. Being able to take lethal medications prescribed to me or being forced to try and end my own life by other means? I'd choose the former everytime. I hate that disabled people are still being used as tools to argue about MAID instead of being consulted directly for it
I live in a Scandinavian country, and although we don’t have the right to assisted end of life yet, at least we have the right to die while being kept painfree - this means that they will leave it up to the patient to administer their own pain medicine, which will usually result in an OD…
I worked with old folks at my last job and once had a lady tell me she was planning to take her own life because she had just gotten a terminal diagnosis and didn't want her kids to have to take care of her. She was very calm and rational about it and I found I agreed with her logic, as tragic as it was, but also encouraged her to involve her kids in the decision. It's so wrong how much the financial side of it becomes the central motivating factor...
A couple of years ago my grandfather took his own life. Late one fall night there was a knock at my door. My father awoke in the kind of way it wakes everyone up. Note frantic but the energy in the house was palpable we all had an instant feeling something bad had happened. I went down to answer the door with him as the cop informed us of his death. All he gave us was a contact to the coroner and wished us well. More emotions than I've seen in my dad ever poured out in just a couple tears. Instantly there was a desire to go to the lakehouse he was living in. Only 1.5 hours away we could get there by 2am. I knew he wasn't in the right headspace to drive so I told him I would drive him. Being there for him meant that I could delay my emotions. Halfway through the drive my mother called us. She said she spoke to the coroner and that she thinks it would be best for us to turn around. Apparently the way he decided to go was to put a gun in his mouth. Immediately realizing the trauma that bring anyone we turned around. Years later and I'm still not sure if it was a good idea or not. I wish we just finished the ride and stood outside the house till the sun came up. For a long time i struggled with my grandfathers choice. In that car ride I remember feeling a great amount of anger a feeling of how dare he do this to my father. We all knew he was sick but everyone was willing to help as much as we could. He had surgeries coming up. He would be possibly getting better. Then the realization started to settle in. The significant amount of time he was sleeping the lack of appetite. The loss of passion even for hockey, something he used to love. His body was deteriorating and it was too much for him to bare. He was done and he knew it. Our pleas to help him were our own selfishness. I just wish he didn't have to go that way. I wish we could have said our goodbyes properly. I wish those lazyboy chairs I have so many fond memories of weren't tainted with my imagination of his blood on them. I had been thinking how much I wanted to hear more about his life and fun stories and hadn't had the ability to ask him before then. Euthanasia would have been such a better way for him to have gone. Those last few days could have been full of acceptance understanding and appreciation. Instead they were full of false hope and lies. Thanks for this video. Death is a hard topic to cover but its something we all have to face. I think I finally get why Watsky's line in his song Ghost Party hit me so hard. "The only people brave enough for suicide are the cowards." From an outside perspective there is a moment of reverence. Taking yourself out of this world to not be a bother on those around you. But at an emotional level there are layers of frustration and anger. I just think MAID can let someone leave with just others reverence.
managed to stay a strong girl and not cry up until the ending song decided to knock my teeth in, it's really moving to hear about how death doesn't have to be something that hurts.
I definitely understand the concerns about the rights of disabled people and the value of our lives when it comes to this discussion. That being said, I think VAD needs to be legal and transparently available because if it isn't, that won't stop people trying to end their own lives. People are far less likely to make a desperate, messy, uncertain and illegal attempt at unaliving themselves if there's a well-regulated option for a painless exit. People are also more likely to value and enjoy the time they have left if they know they can go, risk-free, on their own terms.
u could do less harm and have more fun taking drunk ppl to a tattoo parlor if u wanna see someone in an altered state of mind make a decision u know they would regret.
@@grimlesbians Well, that addressed pretty much nothing from my original comment, and makes a gigantic assumption besides. What do you mean "altered state of mind"? People don't have to be drunk or high to want to end their own lives. They don't even have to be depressed. If you have a condition that causes constant, incurable pain, to the extent that you can no longer think properly or do anything you used to love doing, then I think deciding to die is a perfectly rational response. And seeking VAD legally is a long process full of checks, double-checks and triple-checks. On what basis do you compare this to drunk tattoos? Note: I'm not saying you *should* die if you have chronic pain or other long-term, debilitating illnesses. I'm saying that I understand the desire to die when your life offers no hope of anything but pain and misery, and that decision should belong to you.
@@hughcaldwell1034 mental health episodes can last a long time and ppl r often not themselves during them. even by a lengthy process i couldve died several times if the option was available, i can have months-long episodes kicked off by small things ppl wouldnt think r a big deal and when it happens it feels like its always been this way. its like, an unspoken rule that if ur having a mental health episode u shouldnt make big life decisions. u can claim they check thoroughly but rly on mental health basis alone theres not going to be a way someone wont die while theyre in the middle of a temporary crisis. also idk how u can say ur not saying ppl should die if theyre disabled when ur like... using disability as a justification for dying. like uve described a lot of my life and the lives of my loved ones whom i alrdy know dont want to die. whats the point of this?
@@hughcaldwell1034 also ur literally talking abt "messy" suicides in this post like... if uve ever been in a suicidal episode u should fucking know how that happens. they will absolutely still happen with VAD but presenting VAD as a solution to suicide in general is like, nearly the worst possible angle u could take.
@@grimlesbians My point was about chronic pain and debilitation to the extent that someone no longer sees value in their own life. I myself am disabled and see plenty of value in continuing to live, but I'm currently watching a loved one going through 24/7 pain. They are unable to do anything that brings them joy, with practically no hope of a cure. Are you saying they should be forced, against their will, to continue suffering? Of course, no one should be made to die against their will - but no one should be made to live against their will either. It is true that eugenicists will try to abuse VAD because they devalue the lives of disabled people. But telling someone that they have to keep living, just to maximise their number of heartbeats, because of how *you* make a value judgement is still robbing them of their autonomy.
My mother was dni and dnr. (Do not intubate do not rescessitate.) She had severe health problems and did not want to linger suffering. We have to be honest with each other over our death wants. She and my father thankfully planned their funeral pre COVID. My dad died of a COVID related heart attack. And I think my mom was just done in these 2 remaining years since his death. Be open with your loved ones. I take comfort in the fact she told me what she wanted early on. Ty for covering these hard subjects. They are very hard to talk about. I really suggest ask a morticians channel for some death information as well.
The footage of your grandmother (great aunt?) Is especially touching. Reminds me of my great grandmother who lived to be 102. I'll never forget how about 9 months before she died she told me how ready to go she was. Over the next 9 months she lost her mobility, lost her continance, lost her memory, and stopped taking visitors. I wish she had the option to go when she'd have liked to.
one of my mom's stories is that when she was a kid she missed like a week of school, she got back and asked why everyone was talking about "youth in asia"
At the 0:30:35 mark, I'm pretty sure the case Sam's aunt is talking about is that of Sue Rodriguez. Rodriguez was a MAID advocate/activist with ALS (aka., "Lou Gehrig's disease"). She wanted MAID to be legalized in Canada so that she could choose to die with dignity and comfort at a time of her choosing once her ALS progressed far enough to impact her quality of life so severely that she deemed it warranted. Ultimately she lost her challenge of euthanasia prohibition at Supreme Court of Canada but was able to end her life in 1994 with the assistance of an anonymous doctor. Rodriguez and the Robert Latimer case were big touch points in discourse on the legalization of MAID in Canada. Mind you, Robert Latimer's case is VERY different and far more controversial! He wasn't a patient wanting MAID, but rather the father of a severely disabled child. In 1993 he killed his daughter Tracy and said it was an act of mercy killing/euthanasia. The biggest reason that the Latimer case was so much more controversial is that though Tracy's condition caused her a lot of pain and she'd had to undergo extensive surgeries, there was no indication that she herself actively wanted to die -- Tracy could not speak. Though there are some questions about their desire not to give her a feeding tube which could have helped with administration of more appropriate pain management, that decision seems to have been made out of a lack of appropriate medical information having been adequately explained, and generally she seemed very well cared for by her family up to that point; her father's explanation that he was motivated by wanting to spare her pain from another extensive surgery with poor prospective outcomes seems genuine, but he evidently did not discuss it with the rest of the family before he ended his daughter's life and Tracy had no say in his decision. It is ethically severely fraught for family of a patient to make a decision like that for them, even if it's ostensibly decided to spare their loved one significant pain.
Yes, Robert Latimer's case is the kind that terrifies disabled folks about MAiD, especially autisitic, non-speaking, and intellectually disabled communities. The power that guardians have to decide whether or not our lives are worth living still is a huge huge huge factor in how ethical a MAiD policy is in my opinion. It's why until folks outlooks on disabled people and the supports we are given and autonomy through AAC devices drastically improves, I'm only for MAiD for those who are terminally ill or really really old. It should not be used on young disabled people who only feel forced into that decision because no one will help them, and it especially shouldn't be used on people who can't communicate their wishes or consent. That is where the eugenics comes in, whether the carers intentions are positive or not, because fundamentally non-disabled people have been taught either subliminally or directly to see disabled lives as not worthy of living or as being subhuman.
That interview with your [great aunt? Grandma?] was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It was sweet and it was profound, and I so so appreciate her outlook on this. Also the segment with Leslie xp helped add an important dimension to all of it. This was such a great video, thank you and everyone who helped
This video reminds me of a situation I had at my grocery store job. A manager noticed a cart sitting near the bathrooms for a long time and asked me to check (she couldn't go into the men's room). I found a locked stall and asked if the person inside was alright. I got a slurred voice responding that he'd had a stroke. So, I stayed in there while the manager called an ambulance. The man got the door to his stall open, then braced himself against the baby changing station and passed out standing up. When he woke up a few minutes later, he had no idea where he was. When I explained the situation to him, he became distraught and began swearing about how he didn't want to live anymore. Then he refused my offer of a chair repeatedly and tried to push his way out. Eventually my manager and I managed to talk him into taking a seat, and then the medics came and took him away. Apparently it wasn't the first time they'd helped him. Going through that was a very shaking experience for me. Just to get to that point where your body is failing you and there's nothing to be done about it. Granted, we also found out after the fact that the reason he was in the bathroom stall was to drink an entire 40 oz bottle of alcohol without paying for it, so that probably didn't help his condition. Still feel bad for the guy despite that.
Everyone please contribute generously to Natalie's medical fund after that vicious burn about 6 more videos from her not coming out in our lifetimes. She didn't deserve that. Harris Bomberboy on the other hand....
@@tirone7520 it was a joke about how he roasted Contra so hard about the Time it takes her to make videos we need to pay for her medical funds for the burn damage, while Hbomberguy is the one that deserves that roast/burn more
Medical fund? Nah bruh after a burn like that there's little to be done for Natalie besides finding a nice lidded pot to put in whatever crisps of her you manage to sweep up.
RUclips asked for my confirmation around 4 or 5 times, I didn’t think to count. So I guess I want to watch this more than anything else, and that youtube is afraid of what I might gain from doing so. You better not let me down! Edit: I wasn’t let down, thank you
Beautiful work. Grateful for the interview with your aunt, it was very thorough and insightful. This is something I think about a lot. I've tried overdosing to unalive in the past since it is supposed to be relatively painless. The last time I remember slipping away and changing my mind and clinging to my last bit of consciousness until I was fully aware again. It is so shitty that you can't just choose to do this without potentially hurting yourself or traumatizing others who may find you. I don't feel like doing this now but I hate that those who are suffering can't have a dignified death or choose to die in less tragic ways.
I am disabled. I don't spend a day not in pain. No doctor will help me or listen to me. Sometimes I think something like MAiD would help me. But I'm 18. And I refuse to die until I am able to live as an openly trans person and feel like I am truly me. It's sad. But I'll fight as long as I can.
keep fuckin fighting, friend. you're not alone. my thoughts are with you, and as another disabled trans person, i trust that you'll have the strength and will to live an authentic life that is true to yourself. nothing is more liberating.
Thinking about death while you're still alive is very important. Thank you for giving me a little extra to chew on when I contemplate my own mortality. Also I 100% caught that Mariner's Revenge Song in the background around 48-49 minutes in, nice
wow this may just be my favorite video essay of all time. for a while i have been interested in the concept of "the good death" and this was such an insightful look at it. the interview with your aunt really hit me, hearing her talk about her life honestly made me tear up a little bit and i hope i can look back on my life in the same way when i'm old
its not "im disabled and i cant live such-and-such way, so what?" its "im disabled and im trying my best to live, i deserve to live and im worth saving" bc at the beginning of the pandemic it was decided that developmentally disabled ppl like myself were "low-priority" for life-saving care and resuscitation bc we are considered to have inherently low quality of life and ppl died against their will bc of that. i dont even have the privilege to assume i wont be left to die the next time the opportunity arises bc of my disabilities. the consequences of these discussions abt quality of life isnt just that someone may or may not be forced to continue suffering life, but also that disabled ppl alrdy are and will continue to be murdered even where euthanasia is illegal.
Thank you so much for covering this topic. It's very important that we discuss things like this and I love that you had this amazing old lady on. We don't hear from elderly people enough online and the struggles they face.
Thank you for this one. I'm really contemplating all sorts of new things, and learning is something that makes my life and time feel worthwhile. I appreciate the vulnerability of everyone involved.
Thank you for making such a thorough, and emotionally stirring video - it brought me to tears, and helped me to understand this topic in a more holistic way.
I'm already familiar with disability advocacy so Leslie's perspective was easy to resonate with, but hearing from your great-aunt was really new for me. I'm glad she's happy with the life she lived, and I'm glad she shared her thoughts and feelings.
@1:05 "Sometimes the question to ask isn't just what should we do, but also... Who does this make us?" Really looking forward to this hour and a half deep dive, I have so many feelings about this, *especially* about "who does this make us" questions. I've thought for a long time that our society has a problematic relationship with aging and death. So many commercial products are marketed as reducing the effects of age, or even curing aging. Youth and vitality are valued as the most important virtues, while age (and the experience and wisdom that comes with it) are viewed as something shameful - any physical markers of age must be hidden at all cost, with creams, injections, or even surgery. Aging people, which is literally everyone, frequently look at their twilight years with fear - not just fear of death, but fear of being neglected. Of being forgotten. Of being talked over, overlooked, passed by while other younger people get to live their lives - their youth makes them worthy of consideration. Basically, I think society treats old people like shit. And that only gets worse when it comes to healthcare and end of life care. Old people gradually have their agency robbed of them. They can become prisoners of their own bodies, rendered incapable of doing all the things that made life worth living for them in the first place, crammed into warehouses by neglectful, or simply financially struggling, children - warehouses that nobody looks at too closely, as the DESTRUCTION wreaked on nursing homes by COVID proved. Some old folks effectively become objects of their children's affection at the end of their life - their lives are only valued by society according to the value that their children ascribe to them. Their agency, whether by their health, the medical system, or their financial realities, is robbed from them, and they are quietly shoved aside. So that's why I think euthanasia is really important - it's not just about "what we should do," like you said, it's about "who we are." How do we approach death? How do we approach aging? It happens to us all - shouldn't we talk about it? And I think the elderly deserve a voice and agency to the maximum extent possible in all aspects of their life - from medical treatment, to their choice to terminate their life on their own terms, strictly based on the principle that their lives should be valued beyond their value to other people. Their right to bodily autonomy, and their right to be heard, are the most important things of all, and are part of a broader shift I see that needs to take place in society, where aging is not this vile thing to be hidden, but a universal experience, to be understood, appreciated, approached with fear and apprehension, which can be assuaged through conscientiousness, understanding and compassion. Yes, there are ethical questions when it comes to declining mental capacity. So pay some ethicists and lawyers to figure it out - there need to be safeguards so that struggling families don't make the callous decision to cut off an expensive branch against the branch's will (something that could also be alleviated if families didn't struggle to pay for healthcare!). Elderly autonomy should be at the forefront, period, in my opinion. All other considerations be damned.
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where could one find that closing track in case one needed to weep on demand? hypothetically
Scam, they don't pay you back if you're unsatisfied. After two weeks, I decided I didn't want it because I never used it. I've been waiting for a month for my reimbursement.
@@Star-pl1xs needs one of those. I'm mourning ATM, sounds fun.
What of I'm am exhibitionest
@@Star-pl1xs Father John Misty: I Went to the Store One Day
hearing a woman refering to her 80s as her "being on top of the world" is genuinely inspiring
I had the same thought
I truly hope that if I'm blessed to be so long lived, that 80 is as beautiful as she makes it out to be.
That mooved me here aswell. All the time we hear about the better days that passed, so it's good to hear someone who disagrees.
@Chadam_Gensen no she didn't. She said that she was on top of the world ten years ago. Do the math.
Your eighties are, according to science, usually your happiest years. Your twenties are usually the most miserable. I keep telling my wife this. We’re 22 and 24. We are just starting out. My parents weren’t financially stable until they were nearly thirty four and thirty five. We have time to make it
I'm a hospice nurse. I have many patients who are in so much pain no matter how many medications we get for them. Some beg and plead to just die already. Some of my patients lose their appetite to the point that they end up starving themselves into a coma and then death. Some are completely alone and the only visitors they get are me and the aides stopping by to check on them and they're so depressed that they can't even enjoy the interaction.
They're already terminal, it's terrible that we make them suffer just because some people are uncomfortable with death so they don't want to allow anyone to go out on their own terms.
Thank you for giving so much of yourself
Yes we all need to bow down to the religious, spiritual and the woowoo people who are more then happy to impose life but do not want to hear those grumpy people who are dying in pain tarnish their dogmatic notions of life being a gift and exercising control of their own mind and body. Such inconsiderate and offensive people!
Isnt it common for pain blocking medications to loose effectiveness after a while? I heard from Medics, reducing Painkillers can cause the Pain to vanish sometimes.
So a Patient in big Pain might be on hard meds for a while, then loose them to reset there effectiveness, and then reapply them. Im of course not in the Buisness so im asking.
My grandfather went into hospice and I will forever be grateful for anyone who does the job of caregiving. You people are saints and I hope you are doing well.
@@Sunaki1000 no, pain receptors don't work like that, you have to go several months or weeks before they reduce slightly the capacity to inhibit pain as they did before, and in the meantime the pain won't go away, in fact you'll worsen it because most patients present with abstinence syndrome which is all they've amped it up in films and worse.
edit: this is obviously very oversimplified for understanding, but I am a medical professional _not licensed to work in the us_ and obviously this is not a medical consultation.
So as a disabled person, this is a topic for me. I’ve seen my great aunt and uncle waste away in a nursing home. My aunt has gioblastoma. She was given a terminal diagnosis. Even after chemo. I desperately want to live but I want to live untill I can’t take care of myself anymore. I feel like MAiD is a good thing, but as some other comments pointed out ‘We won’t help you live, but we can help you die.’ I don’t want disabled people to be treated as burdens.
Yeah I'm disabled and this is my thought. The fact that they are expanding MAID in Canada but not support services is upsetting. Instead of helping us make our lives worth living they consider us a burden to the system. I've heard horror stories of medical staff getting upset and angry at disabled people when they say they don't want to look at MAiD as an option or that they don't want to be DNR.
I agree so deeply with this- I’m worried about long term brainwashing and abuse by families trying to force people to choose this instead of dealing with the “burden” of their disabled family.
We ARE burdens.
@@whatever3145 We aren’t. Of course disability is multifaceted and different for everyone, I support the right of disabled people to have their own bodily autonomy. No person is a burden however. Society makes us into them.
@@halfpintrr we are all (as humans not just disabled) burdens and that’s ok. I think it’s pretty dishonest to go “nobody’s a burden” because it’s just not true, but being a burden isn’t bad, it doesn’t have to be, it’s ok
This video talks exactly about the trouble I have with the discussion around euthanasia. Yes, I want people who want to die and seeing no other way out to be able to do that. But also, I don't want people to be pushed into choosing to die simply because they've become "inconvenient" for society. Ableism is a difficult thing to deal with, especially given how internalized it often is.
I think it did a brilliant job of showing this.
My immediate response after finishing the first viewing (after I got done crying and contemplating my mid-life crisis anxiety about mortality) is that it reminds me of discussing abortion.
I haven't actually spelled out the connecting logic yet, but there's tension between the right to life (and the care for future persons) and the right to bodily autonomy.
I come down on the side of bodily autonomy pretty strongly.
And I also thought about offering someone in Sam's Aunt's situation assistive technology like audiobooks and screen readers.
And also, the selfishness of wanting people to stick around to spare our grief.
I don't think I have a good answer, let alone a perfect one, and I appreciate the effort to make this very complex and obviously personal topic into a simple one.
Yeah I’m really uncomfortable with euthanasia and part for this reason. History of human euthanasia is too tied up in eugenics for me to ever be comfortable really having a discussion with someone on it. I just get too much of foreboding feeling in flashbacks to school when we learned about how the Nazis would take disabled people to “homes to care for them” and just euthanize them because they determine that was what was best for the person and for Society tm.
@@zoologygirl252 my grandma who lived through ww2 and was in Europe during Nazi occupation said she was afraid when MAID first came out. I think she knows a more about the consequences of this then the policy makers do. Or I’d hope so 🤷♀️ I’m ok with people who are already dying but it become a very slippery slope very quickly.
@@zoologygirl252 but this isn't that. I'd gladly go.
@@eccentricbluestockin lol no it doesn't. Existing in torture is the slippery slope. I can set myself on fire or I can go quietly. It should be my choice point blank period. My only economic barrier is not being able to afford a gun. The illnesses I have physical and mental are chronic and life long with no cure. I feel like yall see us as children who just don't understand your own value on life. I do not hold those values, and that is my right.
"We need six more Contrapoints videos before we achieve a true socialist utopia; and that's not likely to happen in our lifetimes." 💀💀💀
It’s a very niche joke for a discerning crowd and that crowd is us.
The shaaaaaade! 😵😅
Ugh, Contrapoints. I wish people didn't pay that idiot any attention.
@@benarmband that wasn't my perception.
a true socdem utopia of perfectly passing completely assimilated transfemmes 😌
My Grandfather's life was artificially extended against his explicit wishes. It's absurd that in the US, it's illegal to assist suicide for someone who is terminally ill, but forcing them to stay alive is a-ok.
The exact same situation happened to me. All my life, my grandpa said to me and everyone else over and over how his wish was never to be kept alive in the hospital. If things got bad, we were to just let things play out. But some members of my family, especially his brother, refused to honor that wish. For multiple months, I visited him in the hospital and he constantly begged to leave. He had to be watched 24/7 because he would constantly attempt to get out of bed and end up hurting himself further. He broke his hip from this, had it fixed, then broke it again. Finally, after far too long, we settled on hospice. He was gone within the week. If here in the US he could have signed something that made absolutely clear his desires and not had it left to others with other motives, it would’ve been better for him.
My mother was diagnosed with endometriosis which had spread into her lungs. She was too far gone at diagnosis for treatment.
Her fucked up viewpoint, and the doctors, forced her to stay alive for another 3 or 4 months, sucking down 20+ lires of oxygen a minute, iirc. She was barely responsive at that point.
She should have been allowed to die. But the hospitals need their $$$ and they can get way more of that keeping her body alive.
This happened to my grandfather too. He finally died a month ago but went through so much pain and suffering, and he had dementia so bad that he really didn't recognize anyone anymore and had difficulty forming coherent sentances. All he knew to say is that he wanted to go home, he may not have known where he was but he knew he wasn't at home and he knew he wanted to die there and not in a hospital. It's really sad that people so often don't have the option to leave this world in peace.
@@Flyingpapaya I work in cancer therapy. Can't speak for the hospital you were at, but we often have social workers in to take with people about end of life care and going on hospice when they have advanced cancer that is incurable. Most doctors aren't trying to just pump money out of you. Insurance agencies, yes, holy hell yes, but not most doctors.
@@DialecticRed I'm so sorry. I had to care for both my grandparents, that were for all intents and purposes my parents from shortly after my birth, when they both developed Alzheimer's and dementia. When my grandmother could no longer recognize me, but still go on and on about wanting her grandson to visit it broke me so deeply and so completely that it took over a decade of therapy, battling severe and crippling addiction, and several volumes worth of struggles and pain if I were to write it down. All of that still couldn't compare with what my grandmother faced.
She could no longer speak and completely incapable of any type of self care for a very, very long time. Even after all that, when so ill she was hospitalized and expected to pass, she was filled with tubes and medicine to continue what could barely be called an existence. I had no way to stop it. No way to end her suffering. Even just typing this the tears are just flowing down my face leaving my beard soaked, not because of how much I miss her, which I do so very much, but it is because I still feel guilt in the unknown of her experience. I don't know how much she suffered. I don't know how she experienced pain in those final years, and I mean YEARS of being forced to remain with a broken mind trapped in a useless, failing body that kept trying to let go, but wasn't allowed.
I have no idea why I am even typing and posting this except that I still need to let it out, but also to say that I understand. Dementia is horrific and I hope that if I or another loved one ever faces it again that a humane option to leave this world with dignity is available.
I hope at the end your grandfather found what peace he could. I'm sorry you had to go through it and hope that you are handling it all the best you can. Just know you certainly aren't alone.
Soooo this video is the last straw convincing me to finish my disability application. My imposter syndrome has an insurmountable foe; your relative. Her description of the symptoms leading to her decision was basically also a list of my symptoms, but I’m in my thirties 🙃 if I’m suffering the same pains as a lady at the end of her life, I’m disabled
As a fellow disabled person I’m proud of you!! It can be hard to reckon with and acknowledge especially when it comes to filling out official forms that feel so heavy. Hope you get approved fast 💖
I wish I could apply for disability too, but with my conditions, in my country, I would literally get 30$ a month for it. Seems to me not worth it considering I'd have to spend a long time in hospital for that, meh.
But I hope you will get more lucky with it, and fuck the impostor syndrome, your health is the most important thing in your life!
What you say is true, and helps acknowledge your personal challenges yet I will let you know over twenty years ago I was told the same by Stanford doctors and it did me a huge disservice. I may've had a serious list of symptoms/disabling conditions, yet it did not mean I wasn't capable of being creative, seeking out possibilities and finding a way to support myself through it and especially with the support of a loving family, friends and community who had the potential to grow with me along the path to understanding the difference between disability and ableism. I lost family, supports, community, then housing and didn't have enough energy to rally for alternative means of support. I had a 14 year social security case that I had no representative help with that I dropped having reached the 9th court circuit federally when being both threatened and literally exhausted to the point of hopelessness. There's sooooo much else one can do - with really positive means of support and extended community who truly sees you and acknowledges you, as you value yourself and wish to be seen and supported. I wish you so tremendous support and self-compassion along your journey. 🌈🕊️💕
"I'm tired, and I can't give anymore. And I can't live if I can't give." With people like this in your life, no wonder you ended up being such a caring, selfless, radical person, Sam ❤️
Sam, that interview with your aunt was really beautiful. It’s amazing that you got to have that conservation with her, I’m sure a lot of elderly people would love to talk more candidly about what their life is and has been like and what they think about their current position. I struggle to even conceptualize living to her age so hearing her opinions about her life, what makes it worth living, how she’s content with what she’s had and that she’s ready to move on, were really touching to hear and what I hope to feel when I’m at the end of my life. I have a deep amount of respect for her choice and the idea that that’s an option, that you can acknowledge that you’re content with how much you’ve lived, that you don’t want to spend your last years in a state that no longer brings you joy and that you could _choose_ to die when you feel at peace with how long you’ve been alive, is very comforting to me.
What an awesome lady, I’m glad to have gotten to hear her talk about her life and death in her own words. My favorite part is when Sam asked if she’s scared and she said “not at all, I’m in the hands of good people and they’ll make sure I’m dead.” As if the only thing she’d fear is that they’d screw it up and she’d be alive at the end of it. I can’t imagine anything more badass than facing your death head-on and so fearlessly.
“Mourn the young who never had a chance.”Wow very powerful words and what an amazing woman.
One thing that struck me about your aunt's account was that it seemed a large part of her motivation seemed to be social isolation. I'm glad she's happy with her life and at peace with her decision, but it's infuriating to think how she could have been equally content to keep going if she lived in a society that cared for its elders and kept them integrated into its social life. In fact, considering how boredom and isolation have been shown to shorten people's life expectancies, there's a lot of people who would be living longer in that society. Fuck the suburbs. Fuck the advertisers. Fuck the patriarchy. Fuck car centric design. Fuck every last bastard who profits off keeping us isolated.
Yeah like, I wouldnt want to make a decision for her, but the problems she talked about, a lot of them have solutions.
Hunter gatherers are very happy people from their own accounts, they have a purpose, but when they make contact it all ends for them., like the lord of the rings they change.
@@Digitally_Imagined what solution is there to being in constant pain so you can't even make yourself dinner or take a walk around the block?
The pain and inability to do things herself seemed a bigger motivation to me
I agree with your general point, but I'm also pretty sure that once your body and mind start going like she talked about, it's time to be done. As callous as it may be, no one lives forever, and I can't think of a reason not to let people make that decision for themselves.
One last move to make in the grand game of life. The decision to stop playing. There is something beautiful about that to me.
What a great video. Your aunt seems like an amazing woman and it's so generous of her to donate her body to medicine and science. Cadavers are an incredibly valuable resource and do so much to help future and current doctors learn about the human body.
Really awesome video.
Personally, I've always felt like that's absolute most badass thing you can do with your body (donating body parts is pretty sick too though). I mean, people are going to take you apart and study you to learn about the body. If you're REALLY lucky, the FBI might bury you in a field and watch you decompose! Not many things are simultaneously altruistic and metal, but donating your body to science definitely qualifies :)
Yes, please let her know that she has given back by sharing her experience in this video. Best wishes for a good death ❤
My granny donated her body a few years ago, I was so proud
Hey everyone, just a reminder to spend time with your elderly loved ones. It really makes a difference.
Thanks for reminding me I should give my grandpa a call. I just did it and I know he appreciated it. ♥
@@rebelmage6929 :)
It really does, I make sure to spend at least 2 days a week with my grandma since my grandpa passed from covid, the way her eyes pop up when I come over always makes my heart sink
For various reasons beyond my control I didn't see my dad's side of the family a lot during my teen years. When I moved out I reconnected with them and had dinner together twice a week with my grandparents and aunt for the better part of a year. I was really grateful for that amount of quality time spend when my grandma suddenly had a stroke and died shortly after that, and she was too.
Why?
They never talk to me, ask what I've been up to, or how I'm doing, never.
All they do, I don't like how you blablabla.
I'm 32, I'll do what I like thank you for asking.
It's always nagging, its never an invitation to conversation.
Why the fuck would I want more of that?
We’d never let an animal suffer for as long and as painfully as we make humans endure. I think about that a lot.
Same here, I've watched two of my grandparents live their last months in agony with no sign of any recovery, yet our elderly pets get mercifully put down when their QOL plummets. It really isn't fair.
Comparing disabled people to animals is what leads to eugenics…
@@chattychatotchannel that's not what this comment is saying at all. (although disabled people, like all people, are animals biologically). Someone who has no quality of life, is miserable, in agony, and wants to die is denied the option of a quick, peaceful, predictable and fairly comfortable death. We allow that basic mercy to our pets when they are in the same position, but not human beings.
If someone is disabled and does NOT want to die, and/or has a chance at living a fulfilling life (whatever that means to them), then euthanising them is just murder
@@chattychatotchannel That only leads to eugenics when you’re comparing people to animals in a way that makes people seem less deserving of care or respect. This is the opposite of that. This is a way in which we literally treat animals *better* than people, just because we view people as more important than animals, so we should avoid their death at all costs, even when they want it.
@@chattychatotchannelsaying people shouldn’t suffer is eugenics now? All living beings deserve dignity, and that includes death sometimes. That’s not eugenics, that’s being kind and not holding people to live against their will if all options have been exhausted and QOL of life is abysmal. Sincerely, another disabled person.
my grandma died of alzheimer's and seeing her decline is why my parents decided that they had to move back to Canada and include in their will under what circumstances they would want medically assisted suicide.
Where it gets the most messed up for me personally is when assisted death for mentally ill people is brought into the conversation. There was a time in my life when I had been severely mentally ill since hitting puberty and was deeply suicidal even in therapy and on medication. I was in denial about my gender dysphoria. I really thought it was impossible for me to be happy, ever, and everything seemed to be proving me right, because the things I had been told would make it better, therapy, medication, growing up, didn't. I attempted suicide and it was only after almost dying that I dared to accept my transness, because I had forced myself to face the fact that staying closeted was going to literally kill me, and it was uphill from there. Transition was the thing that actually helped, but before that, I would have done anything in my power to get assisted suicide, if it had been available to me, and societal transphobia could have killed me, if I lived somewhere that assisted suicide for mentally ill people is available. I see myself as living proof that even after being suicidal for years, it is possible to find and address the cause and get better. I hate that in some places, people are sitting around determining who they think should die, claiming to actually be able to tell some suicidal people that they're right and there is no hope for them.
I am also trans and deeply relate to what you wrote. I've been through the same history. I was also labeled as "unfixable" by my transphobic family who, up until the day I cut off contact with them, considered my mental health to be irrevocably unstable and permanently broken. I am in my mid-30s now, have multiple degrees, a loving wife, and so much joy. From my teens through my mid -20s, I wouldn't have believed that things would have turned around. I wasn't terminally mentally ill, I was trans! I believe in autonomy to end one's life in a peaceful manner, but state assisted dying in this hellworld of systemic problems shows a lot of intense possibilities for exploitation and tragedy.
I agree 100%.
Yeah, I people should have agency over their body. That applies to how you dress yourself, what you eat for breakfast, whether you have an abortion, or when you want to die.
But I don’t like the idea of our capitalistic hellscape being given even more credence to decide whether some people are worth more dead than alive.
If that choice is gonna be worth a damn, then it needs to be done without social coercion.
I like euthanasia for severe and terminal illness.
I just worry about our for-profit, USA health insurance:
"We won't pay for chemotherapy for you, even though there's a reasonable chance it might actually work. It's SOOO expensive! But we're happy to stall for a while, then pay for inexpensive euthanasia services, when your pain gets too bad!"
😠
Suicide should be available for all adults.
Yeah, america never misses an opportunity to be cruel and heartless
yeah euthanasia and for-profit are inherently incompatible
@@anjetto1 large corporations, much more so than individuals with moral compasses.
@@gavin9088 I think they are talking about like...America as a system of corporate profiteering, not so much individuals.
My grand-mother died just before medical assisted d**th was legalised. Being religious, she would probably not have taken it anyway. But the one thing she could do, was to starve herself. She had parkinson for a while and was starking to have dementia. I wish she could have had a less painful one.
The thing is, that like with abortion, even if its not legal people will still do it. A doctor might "forget" a bottle of pill in front of a patient, another patient will "mistakenly" take too much pills, etc.
Assisted death, give agency. It give the familly the time to make a last visit, the time to give a last goodbye. It make it so the familly dont have to find their lived one death in their house.
Like tons of people will give it to their pet, if they see them suffering too much. Because they understand thatvtheir pet dont have a quality of life anymore. But they refuse it to fellow humans,, ?
This is a very good point. It will happen, but it happens slowly, painfully, alone. I would much rather someone be loved, cared for and without pain right up to their last moment.
I’m ever so sorry your grandmother had to go that way. It’s not the kindness or dignity she deserved 💚
As someone who has spent almost all their live with suicidal thoughts, resistance to allowing people to die has always struck me as cruel. People are willing to go to the effort to stop you from dying but not to make it so that you don't want to do it in the first place. I've never felt like it was from a place of actual concern, only ever as a prop for their worldview at large.
Agreed! It's simply a projection of their own fear of the unknown/death.
It happens to everyone, why isn't it seen as normal as growing up/another life event???
yeah it disgusts me.
So many times I've been involuntary institutionalized, stuck with thousands in medical bills after being taken against my will.
They kidnap you and force you to continue to suffer for their own selfish pride.
I mean I get the point, and I don't know the people you surround yourself with, but if someone is trying for you not to kill yourself they probably do care for you. Mental illness is an often invisible problem, I don't think it's fair for me to expect other people to know how to make me not want to kill myself. I don't even know how.
And bc so many believe personally that the worst fate is death. That is very naive and childish and speaks to lack of experience with severe mental health issues.
Oh man, the statements about losing memory around 35min… that hit me very deep. I’m in my early 20’s and have some pretty bad memory problems. Dying doesn’t scare me- but losing my memory, my sense of self- that scares me. And that feeling, that you’re teetering on the edge, where you’re still conscious of your deficiencies but can’t do anything to help yourself- it’s horrifying. That I will forget the people I love, the memories of happiness and sadness and beauty, the vulnerability of everyone around me becoming strangers and not being able to be responsible for myself, and even becoming a stranger to myself…
As someone once said, I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of how it often goes so slow and painfully. Or words to that effect-and I wholly agree, I'm not afraid of death itself, I just want it to get painless and quick
I want to be high as a kite.
If I'm terminally ill, might as well try some crack and heroin. See what the fuss is about.
My only goal in life is a painless death
@@willywonka7812 a quick one too for me, and a guaranteed one because shooting yourself in the head isn't guaranteed (not that I could get a gun anyway). I forgot to add I want it to be a relaxing death too. But here in the UK so far it doesn't seem like it's going to happen any time soon although if us Scots manage to become Independent I truly believe we will have medically assisted suicide in some form as I remember a poll being done and there were far more North of the border that is in support of it. For a lot of things we tend to be a more socially progressive country but often Westminster holds us back sadly. One day though, more than anything I want to see that before I leave this earth
The fear of death has gotta be the dumbest trait we've held onto as an animal species. My view is you get a set number of days and you go when you go!! Death's an inevitability. I agree, when it's here, get it over done with hahaha
@FriedIcecreamIsAReality i genuinely don’t have that kind of thought. don’t want kids. Love my friends and Fam but i just find life boring lol. could be my last day tomorrow and i wouldn’t sweat cos death is just another step in a journey imo
I’m a Certified Euthanasia Technician (someone who is not a veterinarian but is trained and legally allowed to administer euthanasia drugs via injection to dogs and cats) and I gotta say, humane euthanasia is not a bad way to shuffle off this mortal coil if the alternative is just a whole lot of unmitigated suffering and then death, but typically once I’m involved all other resources to ease suffering have been exhausted. Quality of life assessments do vary between animal welfare organizations, but I like to take into account things like the animal’s ability to move freely in their environment or engage in reinforcing activities. Many animals are able to move freely with mobility aids and pain management and enjoy enrichment and reinforcing activities. I’m not intending to compare people and animals here, but instead to illustrate that there are people for whom discussions about quality of life and decisions about euthanasia are a daily part of our jobs and our lives and we are having these discussions daily with our colleagues with the aim always of easing suffering and carefully evaluating each animal’s quality of life individually. AND Y’ALL IT’S PRETTY HARD BUT IT’S ALSO VERY REWARDING. And I think it’s what I would want for myself in the end.
No, give all adults the right to suicide. Freedom is more important than safety.
I've worked both in a vetmed research facility and currently in an emergency vet hospital and I completely relate to what you're saying... Euthanasia and death in general is always very sad, but the alternative of trying more elaborate treatments and prolonging very obvious suffering is even more heartbreaking. Vets do their best to consider the animal's welfare, animals can't directly express their suffering but people *can* to their doctors-- and wholly consent to it, at that. I truly don't understand how America and other countries outlawing it can be so cruel to deny people of that, regardless if they have a terminal illness or simply just want a for-sure, safe, non-alienated and lonely reprieve of their life..
You're a hero doing what you do. Many people, including myself, couldn't perform your job duties and you really do need to know how valued you are for choosing a difficult, but incredibly important career. The peace you have brought to suffering creatures makes the world a better place every day that you and others in the position perform the role. I know some jobs can be thankless, but I wanted to make sure that at least one random internet stranger thanked you for committing to doing something so potentially burdensome, but so immeasurably valuable. So, thank you.
@@jeremysmith4620 It does mean a lot to read this. Thank you.
@@ratwav we JUST had a torsion case that we euth’d because we just couldn’t get her stable and she was really suffering. Exploratory surgery was on the table as an option, but her vitals were so poor that I really didn’t think she’s survive the anesthesia. We ended up sending her for necropsy and it was pretty clear that the condition was fatal and we’d made the right call.
I know of a man that gave up trying for the right to die with dignity instead of from a long, slow death from cancer because the state of California makes it so hard. Instead he bought a shot gun and was found by a friend with his brains blown out. I know that this is a complicated issue but even in "liberal" California it is handled so poorly with no willingness to make this a workable system that gives people a reason to live but also meets their need to die without suffering possible.
This is about to be me. I am contemplating jumping from the overpass. There’s no help
@@lsuzicosbw644 I know this comes from some stranger on the Internet and may be late, but I wish you the best. There are people that do or will care for you out there, I just want you to know that
I hope he got his affairs in order first. Worst thing to do to your loved ones
@@thomasbeaumont3668 i got scared and verified their profile still updating their playlist as of 7 days ago rest assured
My great grandfather died when he was 89. He was diagnosed with cancer and declined treatment. I was young at the time and can’t speak on if he would’ve rather have a medically induced suicide. But I can speak on the stories of him in the nursing home. Since it was a nursing home, he was only allowed to stay there under the guise of “maintaining life.” That’s my crude understanding of it. So a dying, elderly man had to complete daily physical therapy. It was so bad that my grandfather’s physician spoke out against it, calling it cruel. I will never understand how a society can simultaneously put so much value in life, and yet, value it so little.
my grandfather passed away with maid, and it was kind of surreal. He had all his family over and talked to us all one on one, then said goodbye. and the evening of the day he passed he had arranged a kind of cocktail party celebration, and it was nice. How he died did reflect who he was, like you said. he was constantly trying to be a better person, right up until the end.
I’m a US nurse..
Yolanda’s death experience description deeply moved me. In my experience, I’ve seen so much unnecessary suffering, most often not because of explicitly stated patient wishes, but because family has made the choice for them in their incapacitated state. It’s profoundly disturbing to administer care that is simply prolonging suffering & steals their dignity. There are “ethics committees” you can get involved, but guess what doesn’t fare well together? Ethics & profit-driven healthcare…
"You mourn the young who never had a chance, not the elderly who've lived a full life"
Yes😊
Who's to say that, without MAID, those sisters with the chemical sensitivity wouldn't have just done it unassisted? I think that's important to consider. Eliminating MAID wouldn't necessarily save the disabled people who chose it. It might just force them to take a more painful way out.
Exactly, just like outlawing abortion; it'll still happen, just less safely.
It depends. People who seriously want to die typically want it to be easily accessible, relatively painless, and have a high rate of success. Before the late 60s the most common method of suicide in Wales and England was carbon monoxide poisoning from a gas stove, but through the 60s and 70s there was a sharp decline in suicide rates in those countries as carbon monoxide was removed from the public gas supply. Most people who might have killed themselves that way didn't just find a different way.
Now that being said MAID isn't nearly as simple as turning on a stove so this might not really be relevant at all. I believe assisted suicide is a right, and more than anything I think the story of those women should be a reminder of why we need significantly better accomodations for disabled and poor people beyond access to death.
@@amoureux6502 this is why both should be in place. Maid and appropriate public ressources
I think a lot of the context regarding cases like this gets lost when talking about MAiD. And I wish this video went into a bit more detail on the topic. In those specific cases, the folks with chemical sensitivities went on record saying they would not have chosen MAiD if they were able to afford adequate housing. So
Being unable to find appropriate housing that's affordable shouldn't be insurmountable. Inadequate/unaffordable access to medical care or medical equipment shouldn't be insurmountable. Disabled people shouldn't only have the choice between dying slowly from starvation and neglect or MAiD. Canada had made it a lot easier to qualify for MAiD while making it near impossible to live on disability assistance (in Ontario, ODSP needs to more than double before it reaches the poverty line -- a single person on ODSP is given less than the amount rent costs for a 1 bedroom apartment). Too often I hear stories of medical professionals educating disabled folks on the cost of their healthcare, and that they could qualify for MAiD -- as if to frame their decision to go on living as unreasonably selfish.
It's fine and well to recognize there's a problem with the abject poverty disabled people are subjected to, but to then to shrug it off as unfix-able is extremely cold and irresponsible. When the disabled community complains about how difficult it is to live due to poverty, the governments reaction seems to be to just make it easier to die.
TL/DR: While you have a valid point, these people, and so many others, would not have considered MAiD if they were simply provided reasonable accommodations. That our society would rather allow them to die than accommodate their disability says a lot about our society.
There's problems with it on multiple levels, with family pushing disabled family members to do it, the fact that providing MAiD and making it easier to commit suicide is something the government is more willing to do than just spend the money on providing affordable and safe accommodation, the fact that disabled people shouldn't be pushed to that in the first place. The problem is when non-disabled people commit suicide we see it as a tragedy that should be prevented by getting that person care to improve their life, when disabled people are suicidal it's just seen as the reality of their situation or unavoidable. A young disabled person expressing suicidal thoughts should be treated with as much effort and intent to save them as someone who isn't disabled. But the reality is that just doesn't happen, and enabling MAiD for people where the problem isn't that they don't want to live, but rather that they don't want to live like this, only reinforces the validity of those practicing medicine who don't make the effort to save disabled people or make their lives comfortable.
The problem is seeing a non-disabled suicide as something that must be prevented, but disabled suicide as unpreventable and not being worth the effort to prevent. If your viewpoint is that everyone (including young and healthy) should have access to MAiD then yeah sure that's irrelevant, but if you wouldn't want MAiD enabled for young healthy people on the premise that they have a long life to live and their quality of life could be improved, then that stance should remain the same for young disabled people where their condition isn't terminal. I think it is also important to note, that even the disabled people who feel like they have no other choice are also often firm advocates for better accommodations as opposed to enabling MAiD for disabled people. For myself and many other disabled people, even those of us who have had periods of being suicidal, we know that enabling MAiD on a governmental level is a cop out from providing us quality care and comes from seeing us as burdens and forcing us into death through enforced poverty. Additionally, unless the regulation is really solid, it is super easy for doctors to put non-consensual do not resusicate orders on patients who's lives they don't see worthy of living (especially common with autistic and intellectually disabled folks) and there is a long history of eugenics being framed as an honourable thing to do or covering up mass murder or unwanted killing of disabled people as "mercy killing" - so there is a huge reason why many of us are scared of this, having MAiD legal for those who aren't already dying creates the risk of others being able to pressure disabled people into death or cover up the "disposal" of those with high care requirements whilst not raising questions on what is happening. That specifically is what is most scary for disabled people as we don't have a reason to trust the medical establishment or government to not be ableist and to care about keeping us alive yet.
My best friend's grand-grandmother is 105 now. I remember the time when I realized that her husband, who was one of the last people she regularly communicated with, died more than 20 years ago - and he had lived to a more than respectful age of 87. She can't wait for the death to come for her but it just isn't coming (and her granddaugher understandably does everything in her power to manage her health), so she's stuck in this limbo for decades, slowly deteriorating mentally and physically.
Ouch
If you're looking for a sign that you should write you will, this is it, my friend! My mom was relatively young and healthy and died suddenly 3 months ago. The fact that she had her legal and financial shit together saved us so much extra heartache. Let it be your final act of love to your friends and family! They'll be so thankful you did it!
Please try not to sound so chipper about that.
Same thing from my family. Having your wishes known is so important. Death requires a lot of paperwork. So much so you generally can’t mourn for a while bc of said paperwork. My thoughts are with you Katie.
So I'm currently a mobility driver for an ambulance company, I basically drive people who are wheelchair bound (mostly older people) to doctors appointments, dialysis, and home from the hospital. While working this job has made me better understand the need for MAID, I also found that watching this video, I, a 22 year old, have felt the same emotions, existential tiredness, and lack of will to do anything, as your great aunt.
The interview with your aunt was heartbreaking but enlightening. I am so thankful she (and you) were willing to share.
Assisted Suicide video? What better ad for RUclips to play than one for the US Army
I have my VPN set to Australia, so I get KFC and gambling app ads instead of military and super PAC ads for midterm elections. The text spam from both sides of the aisle is strong this year, even though I've never signed up for any lists and have reported them all to my carrier as spam. Politicians are exempt. 😒
Forcing someone to live, especially when they are tortured with so much pain and misery, is just as morally despicable as murder imo
100% ^
Possibly more so. At least murder is quick and upfront about it.
In the Netherlands you can't get MAID until multiple doctors agree you've had every treatment imaginable and there's no hope of any improvement anymore. For a friend of mine applying for MAID actually opened doors to treatment that she did not have access to before, despite her life being clearly unliveable. Like why can't we make sure people have access to those things anyway. (Unfortunately none of the extra treatments she's done over the past 3 years made it any better and she's going through with it. And it's hard but I truly believe it's a good thing her suffering will finally end)
My dad deteriorated so rapidly from the initial diagnosis of cancer to death, only 9 weeks, that we never had to have this conversation. I do remember sitting by his bed, when he was lying there so tired and full of drugs that his mouth was open but even then is eyebrows were still creased in pain that I hoped it would come soon for him but I still felt guilty when me and mum signed the DNR form.
Ya did a hell of a job with this video Sam.
I had a similar experience. If he could have had something more to speed up or ease that last hour or so of discomfort, I'm sure he would have taken it. It's painful to watch your loved one's body holding on when you know they're mentally ready to go.
I had a similar experience. After my dads cancer diagnosis he deteriorated very fast. He was in excruciating pain for a full 3 weeks before his death. Not even morphine helped it just turned him into a zombie not even eating & never being fully conscious but still in pain. Nobody should have to go through that.
I have a chronic illness and I live in fear that one day I may lose my husband- my only lifeline. I'm actually scared because I realized I'd be eligible for this program (Canadian). I don't want to die, but if I was going to end up unhomed or living such a poor quality of life that I was suffering so much, I'd rather not live at all. It's wrong though, isn't it? We should provide a decent life to people with disabilities. It's a toughie since obviously it's not realistic for things to change that dramatically.
Yeah, the solution shouldn’t just be to make it easier for you to die when the powers-that-be deem you more valuable dead than alive.
For a choice as big and important as whether to go on living, you should actually be given a choice. Debt or death isn’t a choice.
@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick yeah exactly, and I think that's my biggest problem. Providing MAiD for a disabled person who feels its their only choice, it isn't true consent. For it to be consent their has to be a choice, and every other avenue truely has to have been offered and provided first, but in a world that doesn't even deem us worthy enough of life to just wear a mask on public transport or provide a living wage/proper access to care and social engagement, then that isn't a choice. It is just coerced eugenics. So I have no problem with individuals choosing it in this moment while there is no alternative, the problem is with the government and a society that would rather make it easier for us to die than work together to provide us with care.
@@andy6877 Here here.
@@andy6877 100%
I'm disabled and homeless and have been less than a week out from finding something over the counter to take all of to never wake up for close to a year now. I honestly wish I had access to the services in the video because I'd like something more peaceful than organ failure due to too much ibuprofen or whatever. And I sure as fuck can't talk to a mental health professional about this while also giving them access to a method of finding out my location, because then I'd get locked in a psych ward without any way of contacting my loved ones and if anything get further from actually having a place to live, potentially ever.
I'm sure I had some sort of point when I started writing a comment, but fuck if I know what it was. I just want out
@@chocokittybo
☹️
Can I just say it really, REALLY angers me that you're in this situation? Housing and medical care should be a human right, not a commodity.
I wish there was something effective I could do. 😭 I'm just a luckier poor person.
@@chocokittybo i hear you, im sorry
It's awful you're in a situation like that. What would you want most out of an interaction with a passer by (if anything)? I walk by a lot of unhoused people and I never really know what to say/do, but I feel like I should be doing something.
Also fuck capitalism we need to embrace a new economic system that doesn't trest people like shit and actually cares about them
Wishing you all the best 💖
that old lady made me so emotional. There's something beautiful about being so content with the life you lived and just ready for it to be over. Not out of pain, fear, or any of that. Just... Life was lived.
This was a great video, very informative and a good highlight of the more negative aspects of assisted death too.
A handful of years before MAID, my grandmother had pretty severe dementia, both from natural Alzheimer's plus a few exacerbating lifestyle choices that the Alzheimer's made worse because she'd forget and just keep doing them. She had a DNR placed on her file, and yet despite that, when her heart started failing the medical team caring for her fit her with a pacemaker instead with no consent from anybody. As far as I know they got in trouble for it, but it's not like they could take it back.
Either way this pacemaker extended her life for so long that her dementia got to the point where she could not move and could not speak, but there was the pacemaker, forcing her to stay like that long after her heart would have naturally given up. She most certainly did not find any peace in it.
At the same time, I've seen so many disabled friends and peers of mine be put into this situation where there really genuinely is no hope for improvement just on a frank assessment of the facts due to capitalism and bad government policy.
The way Leslie talked about MAiD early on in the video matches very closely with this side of my experience of death, where instead of addressing the underlying issues with finances and access to community that make life untenable, the government instead goes, well, we can help you die. Add in chronic mental health issues, add in the societal attitudes to the elderly and disabled which strongly impact those groups perspectives on themselves too, and it just gets to the point where it feels like everything is just set up to make people want to die. No conspiracy, no kind of intentional end goal, but just the natural conclusion of so many dynamics pointing people in that direction.
So, like, I don't know. The discomfort around having this system exist in capitalism is pretty intense to me, but then, does that mean the solution is overcoming capitalism? Obviously yes, but I'm not sure a doctor can prescribe that and we can pick it up from the pharmacy. I know my grandmother needed a way out, to not have to suffer like that. But I know that as the mental health of people I know who are disabled and in debt gets hammered endlessly, I loathe the idea that the system may offer MAiD and think they're doing a favour.
I have discussed this option for myself with my spouse. Existing in chronic 24/7/365 pain with NO effective pain control medication has left me bed bound. There is no hope for recovery without major expense and even more pain. Neither of which are good options for myself. Access and cost are the barrier even for this option.
☹️
@@scapegoatmiller9110 ooo I want to know the answer to that question too
@@scapegoatmiller9110 the medical system currently in the US is profit based not patient care based. The long term care system is filled with neglect of patients while also being incredibly expensive. I don’t see this changing in my lifetime.
@@scapegoatmiller9110 also not having any pain medications makes it impossible to perform any physical therapy or endure any other medical procedures.
@@mizztab3677 have you considered expatriating? I've been looking into the logistics of it for myself--despite the difficulty of the process, would be far better than a preventable early death or chronic suffering
your aunt is beautiful. its so wonderful to hear her be so at peace with death and so full and satisfied with her life.
I have a friend with this issue. BC, a province with no long term care options for people with mental health illnesses, has decided that the only place to house my severely mentally ill friend either in forensic psych ward, or the streets. She's currently attempting to access medical assistance in dying because she cannot find housing. She's been evicted from tertiary care homes for crying too much. She lives on the street. You know what it's like to live on the streets with delusional paranoia? That's the kind of illness that turns a loving, happy friend into a screaming, bone-breaking brute. Disability pays 1/4 of the average cost of rent.
MAD has become eugenics for the disabled.
stories like this hurt me so much. I also have friends who are extremely mentally ill and living in poverty, and the idea that they might choose death because they can't find help is a painful thing to think about. As a society, we've come a long way in mental health acceptance, but it seems to stop when it comes to "scary" disorders that deal with psychosis and delusions. Your friends life has infinite value and I hope they find their way out of the situation they're in ❤
But has it really? The problem I see is the lack of care for long-term mental illness. Why is making the end of their lives more miserable for many people helping your friend?
Keep fighting for better mental healthcare but don’t treat this as a situation in which we can only have one. How was mental healthcare before MAID? Significantly better, I assume?
All of this. Thank you. It is eugenics, and people are often coerced into this situation. I cannot condone MAiD as an "option" that is offered to disabled people. Disability is determined under a social model. More social supports should be offered, and low cost housing. At the absolute minimum. Not what passes as "affordable" in BC. It clearly isn't. UBI would be nice. Also, who the fuck evicts someone for crying? That is disgusting.
Recently during a chronically suicidal phase that lasted a year, when my bipolar became treatment resistant, I got in touch with Dignitas and they were fully on board with helping me to die. I am so fucking glad I didn't do it.
Yeah, this is exactly the type of situation that puts me firmly against MAiD for folks who don't have a terminal illness or who aren't really old. I've had years where my illnesses have made me completely bed bound, constant pain, constant exhaustion, unable to do anything, but it's not that I didn't want to live, I just didn't want to live a life where I had no support. Yet, so many governments and people would rather just allow me to die rather than go to the effort to help me live life comfortably, I'm only 22 and I am so so glad that MAiD wasn't available for me in my country because I probably would have considered it, and it would have been an incredible mistake because I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons.
may i ask why you are glad you didn't? im bipolar in a depressive episode and i'm constantly on the lookout for stories of it getting better so i can remind myself that it does
@@jobeiden I used to get really mad whenever people told me it got better because it felt hollow and like they were just placating me and minimising how I felt but now I am on the opposite side of the fence I must shout it does get better. It's incredibly hard getting there and you fight every step of the way but when you get to the other side you are stronger and it has hurt so much but now it feels so liberating being better and then as you get older time seems to go faster like when I was at my sickest I was still in school and everything was so slow and every day was a fight with my family because I did not want to go because I felt too unwell and just wanted to die but now days pass in an eyeblink and you get to look forward to nice things and feel more in control of your life and it's liberating. I believe in you! You can do it! It's really tough but you are strong and bipolar is a brutal illness and I am sorry you are suffering from a depressive episode but you are tough and can make it through it will be hard and you are so strong and awesome for keeping going you're amazing!!
@@jobeiden It's really easy, when you're in the depression, to think that this will last forever, or it will pass but it will come back, and that's true. But you forget how you feel when it does pass, and it will, and the feeling of just being able to get out of bed, do laundry, make my bed, have breakfast and smile at the day makes living all worthwhile. Being able to engage with my family and friends again, that feeling of love. But I was chronically suicidal for a whole year, I empathise with you completely. All I can say is, hold on. This really, really will pass, that's the nature of the illness we have. And the good times, you've forgotten them because that's what bipolar does to you, but they are so, so good.
A friend of mine died a few years ago by suicide, and I have such mixed feelings about it. I know it was what she wanted and was at peace with at the time (though we tried so hard to get her help) but I also think there is a strong possibility things could have improved for her if she had gotten the right care. It's very sad, but at the end of the day I don't know if it would have been better for her to be locked up in a place where she would have been forced to stay alive. It's just a really hard call. What I know for certain is that the mental health system failed her and did not explore all the possible options that could have maybe improved things for her, and that is extremely wrong.
The moment you talked about Dignity brought me right back to my uncle's stroke, on that terrible tuesday 2 months ago. When he realized what was happening. Touching his face, noticing he wasn't feeling it anymore. Absolute medical negligence as the staff was quarelling with another patient that was recovered and wanted to leave soon. He had this realization, and started laughing hysterically -- he couldn't speak, but he could laugh. The nurse brashly asked "Is he always like that?" and I said, with a shaken voice, ˆNo. He was just fine a few hours ago." He immediately stopped laughing and stared at me. The last time we truly communicated. What followed was two months of coma, and eventually, a cardiac arrest, at the age of 56. We celebrated our birthdays, octn 17th and 19th, with eachother. Everyday I sang him "Across The Universe" by the Beatles (but that I just care for because of Hikaru Utada) gosh that was a fucking insane two months. He died on october 29th. We buried him the day after. It`s surreal. His house, frozen, revealing the sordid depression he lived him, and all the melancholic mementos he kept, the little things he`d take from our trash, like broken miniatures or instruments, or handwritten shopping lists. My sister`s drawing inside his closet.The Beatles mug I gave him and he never once drank from. The empty bottles of fancy pepper sauce I bought him for his other birthday. Oh gosh. Well, it was good writing this. This was a good video. I wanted to finish this comment with a quirky "the moment I saw your Sepultura t-shirt I knew I had a crush on you" but i don't even give a shit anymore. This started as a comment and I don't know what it is anymore. I'm just glad I was able to sing to him and hold his hand these 2 months. And I had the greatest uncle -- the greatest Dad -- I could've asked for. Wtf im sobbing bye
I am sorry about your loss. He seems to have truly loved you, and appreciated the love you had for him. I hope you are doing as well as is possible, given the circumstances, and begin to look back on him with a smile soon.
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story here. You told it in such a way as I could see you and see your uncle. And I could glimpse the love you had for one another. I wish you strength with your terrible loss.
@@aussieevonne7857 @Guineapigsreadingbooks
thank you to both of you for your words of kindness. It's incredibly painful to look back, and I can't bring myself to reread my own comment - despite time moving on, i still dream of him being with us every week, and flashes of painful regret flood back. A feeling of overpowering weakness, but it's irrational. Still, I think at this rate I have mostly managed to turn him into valuable loving memories.
And that's how we keep living, day after day, isn't it? I have been smiling, crying, loving all my family, struggling, going to therapy, working, dreaming, tomorrow's my university entrance exam - a thing he never managed to achieve, despite his wonderful intellect and technical prowess.
It's hard to parse whether it feels cynical or reassuring that we're able to "move on". I guess it's both. But yeah... That will be that.
Thank you once again, wherever you are. 💓
I have fibromyalgia and EDS-hypermobile type. I live in a lot of pain every single day. There's not a lot of medication out there for me to feel better: pot makes me paranoid and opioids make me throw up. I love Leslie's videos, but I feel like if I wanted to die, I should be able to, even knowing the system is failing me. I still have things to do in my life, and I'm also living for my family, but when the time comes (probably earlier than most people) I just want to be able to opt-out. There is no cure for either of my conditions at this time, even though I so much want it to be otherwise. I don't feel I should have to be terminal; I also shouldn't have to wait for the state to become progressive enough to help me. I live in so much pain every day that I think many people could not fathom going on without relief. And before you post all of your cure alls, just know that questions beginning with "have you tried" are almost always answered with yes. There is no way I'd be alive today if someone had told me when this started that there wouldn't be anything to help me. Yes I have tried it, and no it didn't work, and please don't dm me with your miracle cures.
I really appreciated this video and I look forward to your future videos. Your music and thoughts are of equal quality-- they are both wonderful and something I continually look forward to as a distraction from my pain.
Thank you for this comment. My mom also has fybromialgia as well as escoliosis and she has talked to me about euthanasia before. I support and respect her decision but I admit that I'm still a teenager and the prospect of her death scares me.
But yeah.. as you say she should be allowed to opt out when the time is right, I understand
her a bit more
Yo a fellow FibroHyperMobile!
Much love. I hope we can both die happy.
@@katiemorison7969 Many gentle hugs. I hope for the same. I hope we get to call it when we're done.
We’ve done a lot in medicine to extend lifespan, but with that we need to also ensure quality of life- living to 85 instead of 80 isn’t much of an achievement if those 5 years are spent in great pain, loneliness, and unhappiness…
Holy shit this is a fantastic video. I'm in America, Gram knew she wanted to die about 8 years ago. She had a few good years after that still but spent the majority of it either not very happy or without the capacity to express whether she was happy or not. It seems like such a cruel end for someone who was nothing but generous, kind, and gentle for her entire life. It was probably the happiest funeral I've ever attended, not because we were happy she was gone, but that we were happy she finally got what she wanted and didn't have to suffer anymore.
Anyway, yeah, the laws here are ludicrous.
The sections of the conversation you had with your aunt made me surprisingly happy. It seems like she really has done everything in a life you could want to do and I love that she’s taking charge over what happens to her. She seems like a very kind, vivacious, and smart woman, and I hope she passes peacefully. It really hit me when she talked about how she’s not getting any younger, time will just keep moving on and she’ll keep deteriorating, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. Up to that point I had kind of been thinking “well she could get a motorized wheelchair! And e-readers or audiobooks and maybe her family could spend more time with her, etc. But the memory issues still won’t go away, and her back pain will still be there, and she’ll still be 92 and fragile and tired and she’s happy with the life she lives and has no second thoughts or fear. And that just makes me weirdly happy… to see someone so in touch with their life and their feelings to truly accept death and embrace it with good humor. I hope when my time comes, if I’m lucky enough to be able to, I can accept it with the level of grace she does.
my closest family member, my auntie, told me 5 days ago that she plans on stopping chemo and that she has 1 year to live and might consider mads. ive been grieving on/off everyday since. the timing of this video is hitting me. thank u for this
Your aunt seems like an absolute star of a human being. I was really touched hearing her story and so glad she gets to go out on her own terms.
Do us a favour tho… keep us updated and let us know when she takes her last bow. It would just be nice to know so many people will have a chance to pause and think of her again…
I grew up in nursing homes, cleaning rooms with my mother and reading in the common areas and this video unlocked some very long-forgotten core memories.
Obviously I didn't know your great aunt, but I'm watching your whole interview with her. The peace she is at is really beautiful - even outside of the context, just the way she is talking here. She is a fulfilled human person in this video; and you really honor her by sharing the whole thing. And even though your essay is done, I feel I should honor her by watching to the end.
This was hard to watch and so good. I grew up terrified of death. In my 40s, I finally attempted to confront that fear. Ask a Mortician helped a lot as did her books. I begrudgingly made my peace with it when I realized that the whooooooole MEANING OF LIFE is that we die.
And just cuz it’s SOP with me and my comments, as always, Will Jarvis’ songs are so rad.
Her channel is great , i mean she is. Her kooks likely are too.
Also her activism to make deaths afortable an alternative if wished is great.
Luik there is a term for corpse obber, that is about an eploitative funeral industry, not actual grave robber. So yeah he an her glorious humor are great.
My concern with this has always been disabled or sick people opting to end their lives because they're afraid of being a burden on their families, or worse, being pushed into it by a family who do, in fact, see them as a burden. Of course if it really is something someone has decided is right for them as they can't deal with the suffering anymore it should probably be allowed, but I'd definitely want strict safeguards in place. If the problem could be solved by circumstance change I don't think they should qualify, though of course I also think sufficient assistance should be provided to achieve that.
Yeah, as someone with a large range of disabilities, chronic illness, mental illnesses, and who is neurodiverse I feel exactly the same. Most of my conditions are life long and adjusting to living this way is incredibly hard and I have had suicidal periods, but I don't think I should be approached any differently to any other suicidal young person who's situation could be improved by circumstance or support change. There needs to be proper safeguards in place to prevent folks using MAiD as a cover for the "mercy killing" or eugenics of disabled people.
In some ways it mirrors abortions in that way. I am all for bodily autonomy, and hence also abortions. But it also saddens me to think of people wanting to continue the pregnancy, but are not financially able to support a child. Or disabled people with too few supports to give a child a worthy life. People who learn that their child would likely die of medical neglect because the biological condition they would have wouldn’t be treated due to corporate greed.
I am by no means meaning to make a direct comparison, since the differences between the two far outweigh the similarities.
As a nurse who has been with a few family members taken off life support and having seen the horrors that can befall people with no autonomy due to health issues, this video is incredibly important. Several years ago my mom, who is also a nurse, helped get the signatures to pass the "death with dignity" act in my state to enable physician assisted suicide. People should have the choice in how they are treated and how they live; thank you for highlighting this issue and God bless you and your family. ❤️
Someone got me to drink bongwater when I was a teenager. They laughed really hard for about 30 seconds. Then I projectile vomited all over their living room, with significant splashing hitting pretty much all in attendance. Pretty sure they never tried that lovely prank on anyone else after that, lmao.
Most people don't want to die. They just want their pain to stop.
This is an odd distinction to make. I want to die to make the pain to stop because that is the only way.
There is no other method, sadly. But it is important to note that these aren't mutually exclusive.
I currently live in a place with MAID laws in place. It's currently available to those with terminal illness and it's such a necessary aspect of end of life care. I'm disabled, always have been and always will be, and while I'm concerned about the ways it will be used, I'm glad it's an option. I am hoping that MAID will be available for me when I am disabled to the point when my quality of life is no longer acceptable. We absolutely need to fight for universal & accessible patient care, safe housing, universal income, etc but the fight for MAID and the fight against ableism are deeply intertwined. A person needs to be able to survive & thrive regardless of disability, and needs to be provided with maximum bodily autonomy (including in death) in the course of care. I think it's short-sighted to argue against all MAID until society has become fully disability-inclusive. As much as I hate to say it, the system is already killing us, harming us, denying us treatment and care and dignity; the ability to choose a safe & painless death is a luxury few disabled people have access to. Being able to take lethal medications prescribed to me or being forced to try and end my own life by other means? I'd choose the former everytime. I hate that disabled people are still being used as tools to argue about MAID instead of being consulted directly for it
"Not at all. They're going to make sure I'm dead" God I love her
I live in a Scandinavian country, and although we don’t have the right to assisted end of life yet, at least we have the right to die while being kept painfree - this means that they will leave it up to the patient to administer their own pain medicine, which will usually result in an OD…
I worked with old folks at my last job and once had a lady tell me she was planning to take her own life because she had just gotten a terminal diagnosis and didn't want her kids to have to take care of her. She was very calm and rational about it and I found I agreed with her logic, as tragic as it was, but also encouraged her to involve her kids in the decision. It's so wrong how much the financial side of it becomes the central motivating factor...
A couple of years ago my grandfather took his own life. Late one fall night there was a knock at my door. My father awoke in the kind of way it wakes everyone up. Note frantic but the energy in the house was palpable we all had an instant feeling something bad had happened. I went down to answer the door with him as the cop informed us of his death. All he gave us was a contact to the coroner and wished us well. More emotions than I've seen in my dad ever poured out in just a couple tears. Instantly there was a desire to go to the lakehouse he was living in. Only 1.5 hours away we could get there by 2am. I knew he wasn't in the right headspace to drive so I told him I would drive him. Being there for him meant that I could delay my emotions. Halfway through the drive my mother called us. She said she spoke to the coroner and that she thinks it would be best for us to turn around. Apparently the way he decided to go was to put a gun in his mouth. Immediately realizing the trauma that bring anyone we turned around. Years later and I'm still not sure if it was a good idea or not. I wish we just finished the ride and stood outside the house till the sun came up.
For a long time i struggled with my grandfathers choice. In that car ride I remember feeling a great amount of anger a feeling of how dare he do this to my father. We all knew he was sick but everyone was willing to help as much as we could. He had surgeries coming up. He would be possibly getting better. Then the realization started to settle in. The significant amount of time he was sleeping the lack of appetite. The loss of passion even for hockey, something he used to love. His body was deteriorating and it was too much for him to bare. He was done and he knew it. Our pleas to help him were our own selfishness.
I just wish he didn't have to go that way. I wish we could have said our goodbyes properly. I wish those lazyboy chairs I have so many fond memories of weren't tainted with my imagination of his blood on them. I had been thinking how much I wanted to hear more about his life and fun stories and hadn't had the ability to ask him before then. Euthanasia would have been such a better way for him to have gone. Those last few days could have been full of acceptance understanding and appreciation. Instead they were full of false hope and lies.
Thanks for this video. Death is a hard topic to cover but its something we all have to face. I think I finally get why Watsky's line in his song Ghost Party hit me so hard. "The only people brave enough for suicide are the cowards." From an outside perspective there is a moment of reverence. Taking yourself out of this world to not be a bother on those around you. But at an emotional level there are layers of frustration and anger. I just think MAID can let someone leave with just others reverence.
managed to stay a strong girl and not cry up until the ending song decided to knock my teeth in, it's really moving to hear about how death doesn't have to be something that hurts.
You're stronger than I am: I was tearing up throughout.
Your auntie is being so gloriously peak midwestern in your conversation with her. Much love to them.
I definitely understand the concerns about the rights of disabled people and the value of our lives when it comes to this discussion. That being said, I think VAD needs to be legal and transparently available because if it isn't, that won't stop people trying to end their own lives.
People are far less likely to make a desperate, messy, uncertain and illegal attempt at unaliving themselves if there's a well-regulated option for a painless exit. People are also more likely to value and enjoy the time they have left if they know they can go, risk-free, on their own terms.
u could do less harm and have more fun taking drunk ppl to a tattoo parlor if u wanna see someone in an altered state of mind make a decision u know they would regret.
@@grimlesbians Well, that addressed pretty much nothing from my original comment, and makes a gigantic assumption besides. What do you mean "altered state of mind"? People don't have to be drunk or high to want to end their own lives. They don't even have to be depressed. If you have a condition that causes constant, incurable pain, to the extent that you can no longer think properly or do anything you used to love doing, then I think deciding to die is a perfectly rational response. And seeking VAD legally is a long process full of checks, double-checks and triple-checks. On what basis do you compare this to drunk tattoos?
Note: I'm not saying you *should* die if you have chronic pain or other long-term, debilitating illnesses. I'm saying that I understand the desire to die when your life offers no hope of anything but pain and misery, and that decision should belong to you.
@@hughcaldwell1034 mental health episodes can last a long time and ppl r often not themselves during them. even by a lengthy process i couldve died several times if the option was available, i can have months-long episodes kicked off by small things ppl wouldnt think r a big deal and when it happens it feels like its always been this way. its like, an unspoken rule that if ur having a mental health episode u shouldnt make big life decisions. u can claim they check thoroughly but rly on mental health basis alone theres not going to be a way someone wont die while theyre in the middle of a temporary crisis.
also idk how u can say ur not saying ppl should die if theyre disabled when ur like... using disability as a justification for dying. like uve described a lot of my life and the lives of my loved ones whom i alrdy know dont want to die. whats the point of this?
@@hughcaldwell1034 also ur literally talking abt "messy" suicides in this post like... if uve ever been in a suicidal episode u should fucking know how that happens. they will absolutely still happen with VAD but presenting VAD as a solution to suicide in general is like, nearly the worst possible angle u could take.
@@grimlesbians My point was about chronic pain and debilitation to the extent that someone no longer sees value in their own life. I myself am disabled and see plenty of value in continuing to live, but I'm currently watching a loved one going through 24/7 pain. They are unable to do anything that brings them joy, with practically no hope of a cure. Are you saying they should be forced, against their will, to continue suffering?
Of course, no one should be made to die against their will - but no one should be made to live against their will either. It is true that eugenicists will try to abuse VAD because they devalue the lives of disabled people. But telling someone that they have to keep living, just to maximise their number of heartbeats, because of how *you* make a value judgement is still robbing them of their autonomy.
My mother was dni and dnr. (Do not intubate do not rescessitate.) She had severe health problems and did not want to linger suffering. We have to be honest with each other over our death wants. She and my father thankfully planned their funeral pre COVID. My dad died of a COVID related heart attack. And I think my mom was just done in these 2 remaining years since his death. Be open with your loved ones. I take comfort in the fact she told me what she wanted early on. Ty for covering these hard subjects. They are very hard to talk about. I really suggest ask a morticians channel for some death information as well.
The footage of your grandmother (great aunt?) Is especially touching. Reminds me of my great grandmother who lived to be 102. I'll never forget how about 9 months before she died she told me how ready to go she was. Over the next 9 months she lost her mobility, lost her continance, lost her memory, and stopped taking visitors. I wish she had the option to go when she'd have liked to.
Me doing naked yoga while listening to this video when he says "you know I can see you right" 💀💀💀💀💀
This was truly powerful. Sobering, powerful, and informative.
one of my mom's stories is that when she was a kid she missed like a week of school, she got back and asked why everyone was talking about "youth in asia"
At the 0:30:35 mark, I'm pretty sure the case Sam's aunt is talking about is that of Sue Rodriguez. Rodriguez was a MAID advocate/activist with ALS (aka., "Lou Gehrig's disease"). She wanted MAID to be legalized in Canada so that she could choose to die with dignity and comfort at a time of her choosing once her ALS progressed far enough to impact her quality of life so severely that she deemed it warranted. Ultimately she lost her challenge of euthanasia prohibition at Supreme Court of Canada but was able to end her life in 1994 with the assistance of an anonymous doctor. Rodriguez and the Robert Latimer case were big touch points in discourse on the legalization of MAID in Canada.
Mind you, Robert Latimer's case is VERY different and far more controversial! He wasn't a patient wanting MAID, but rather the father of a severely disabled child. In 1993 he killed his daughter Tracy and said it was an act of mercy killing/euthanasia. The biggest reason that the Latimer case was so much more controversial is that though Tracy's condition caused her a lot of pain and she'd had to undergo extensive surgeries, there was no indication that she herself actively wanted to die -- Tracy could not speak. Though there are some questions about their desire not to give her a feeding tube which could have helped with administration of more appropriate pain management, that decision seems to have been made out of a lack of appropriate medical information having been adequately explained, and generally she seemed very well cared for by her family up to that point; her father's explanation that he was motivated by wanting to spare her pain from another extensive surgery with poor prospective outcomes seems genuine, but he evidently did not discuss it with the rest of the family before he ended his daughter's life and Tracy had no say in his decision. It is ethically severely fraught for family of a patient to make a decision like that for them, even if it's ostensibly decided to spare their loved one significant pain.
Yes, Robert Latimer's case is the kind that terrifies disabled folks about MAiD, especially autisitic, non-speaking, and intellectually disabled communities. The power that guardians have to decide whether or not our lives are worth living still is a huge huge huge factor in how ethical a MAiD policy is in my opinion. It's why until folks outlooks on disabled people and the supports we are given and autonomy through AAC devices drastically improves, I'm only for MAiD for those who are terminally ill or really really old. It should not be used on young disabled people who only feel forced into that decision because no one will help them, and it especially shouldn't be used on people who can't communicate their wishes or consent. That is where the eugenics comes in, whether the carers intentions are positive or not, because fundamentally non-disabled people have been taught either subliminally or directly to see disabled lives as not worthy of living or as being subhuman.
That interview with your [great aunt? Grandma?] was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It was sweet and it was profound, and I so so appreciate her outlook on this. Also the segment with Leslie xp helped add an important dimension to all of it. This was such a great video, thank you and everyone who helped
This video reminds me of a situation I had at my grocery store job. A manager noticed a cart sitting near the bathrooms for a long time and asked me to check (she couldn't go into the men's room). I found a locked stall and asked if the person inside was alright. I got a slurred voice responding that he'd had a stroke. So, I stayed in there while the manager called an ambulance. The man got the door to his stall open, then braced himself against the baby changing station and passed out standing up. When he woke up a few minutes later, he had no idea where he was. When I explained the situation to him, he became distraught and began swearing about how he didn't want to live anymore. Then he refused my offer of a chair repeatedly and tried to push his way out. Eventually my manager and I managed to talk him into taking a seat, and then the medics came and took him away. Apparently it wasn't the first time they'd helped him.
Going through that was a very shaking experience for me. Just to get to that point where your body is failing you and there's nothing to be done about it.
Granted, we also found out after the fact that the reason he was in the bathroom stall was to drink an entire 40 oz bottle of alcohol without paying for it, so that probably didn't help his condition. Still feel bad for the guy despite that.
Everyone please contribute generously to Natalie's medical fund after that vicious burn about 6 more videos from her not coming out in our lifetimes. She didn't deserve that. Harris Bomberboy on the other hand....
Wait, what happened? (to her and him both)
@@tirone7520 I would like to know too.
@@tirone7520 it was a joke about how he roasted Contra so hard about the Time it takes her to make videos we need to pay for her medical funds for the burn damage, while Hbomberguy is the one that deserves that roast/burn more
@@izunahosaki6133 Ohhhhhh
Alright, thank you!
I got worried here for a sec
Medical fund? Nah bruh after a burn like that there's little to be done for Natalie besides finding a nice lidded pot to put in whatever crisps of her you manage to sweep up.
He wasn't kidding when he warned us that this was going to be a heavy one.
Happy to be a small part of this! ❤
RUclips asked for my confirmation around 4 or 5 times, I didn’t think to count. So I guess I want to watch this more than anything else, and that youtube is afraid of what I might gain from doing so. You better not let me down!
Edit: I wasn’t let down, thank you
"and I can't live if I can't give"
Quite admirable and well said
Beautiful work. Grateful for the interview with your aunt, it was very thorough and insightful. This is something I think about a lot. I've tried overdosing to unalive in the past since it is supposed to be relatively painless. The last time I remember slipping away and changing my mind and clinging to my last bit of consciousness until I was fully aware again. It is so shitty that you can't just choose to do this without potentially hurting yourself or traumatizing others who may find you. I don't feel like doing this now but I hate that those who are suffering can't have a dignified death or choose to die in less tragic ways.
I am disabled. I don't spend a day not in pain. No doctor will help me or listen to me. Sometimes I think something like MAiD would help me. But I'm 18. And I refuse to die until I am able to live as an openly trans person and feel like I am truly me. It's sad. But I'll fight as long as I can.
keep fuckin fighting, friend. you're not alone. my thoughts are with you, and as another disabled trans person, i trust that you'll have the strength and will to live an authentic life that is true to yourself. nothing is more liberating.
Why are ypu hurtig? ❤
Thinking about death while you're still alive is very important. Thank you for giving me a little extra to chew on when I contemplate my own mortality.
Also I 100% caught that Mariner's Revenge Song in the background around 48-49 minutes in, nice
glad you covered this topic with the time, variety of perspectives, and sensitivity it needs
wow this may just be my favorite video essay of all time. for a while i have been interested in the concept of "the good death" and this was such an insightful look at it. the interview with your aunt really hit me, hearing her talk about her life honestly made me tear up a little bit and i hope i can look back on my life in the same way when i'm old
its not "im disabled and i cant live such-and-such way, so what?" its "im disabled and im trying my best to live, i deserve to live and im worth saving" bc at the beginning of the pandemic it was decided that developmentally disabled ppl like myself were "low-priority" for life-saving care and resuscitation bc we are considered to have inherently low quality of life and ppl died against their will bc of that. i dont even have the privilege to assume i wont be left to die the next time the opportunity arises bc of my disabilities. the consequences of these discussions abt quality of life isnt just that someone may or may not be forced to continue suffering life, but also that disabled ppl alrdy are and will continue to be murdered even where euthanasia is illegal.
I almost never make it past your into songs, they're so good it makes me emotional and i have to click out . . . keep 'em comin'
Thank you so much for covering this topic. It's very important that we discuss things like this and I love that you had this amazing old lady on. We don't hear from elderly people enough online and the struggles they face.
this was very emotional. thank you for sharing, you and your aunt ❤
Thank you for this one.
I'm really contemplating all sorts of new things, and learning is something that makes my life and time feel worthwhile. I appreciate the vulnerability of everyone involved.
Thanks for this video, and thank you to your aunt for sharing her thoughts about this procedure. She's a beautiful lady
god what a powerful video. that conversation with your aunt brought me to tears :’) what an inspiring and admirable woman
Your aunt is an amazing person - that interview moved me.
Thank you for sharing that.
Thank you for making such a thorough, and emotionally stirring video - it brought me to tears, and helped me to understand this topic in a more holistic way.
What an absolute blessing it is to be able to say your final goodbyes presently and consciously to every single person you would like.
You release insanely good movie length videos so quickly, truly a hero of RUclips
your aunt is awesome. that interview was genuinely touching to watch. your best work so far.
I'm already familiar with disability advocacy so Leslie's perspective was easy to resonate with, but hearing from your great-aunt was really new for me. I'm glad she's happy with the life she lived, and I'm glad she shared her thoughts and feelings.
@1:05 "Sometimes the question to ask isn't just what should we do, but also... Who does this make us?"
Really looking forward to this hour and a half deep dive, I have so many feelings about this, *especially* about "who does this make us" questions. I've thought for a long time that our society has a problematic relationship with aging and death. So many commercial products are marketed as reducing the effects of age, or even curing aging. Youth and vitality are valued as the most important virtues, while age (and the experience and wisdom that comes with it) are viewed as something shameful - any physical markers of age must be hidden at all cost, with creams, injections, or even surgery. Aging people, which is literally everyone, frequently look at their twilight years with fear - not just fear of death, but fear of being neglected. Of being forgotten. Of being talked over, overlooked, passed by while other younger people get to live their lives - their youth makes them worthy of consideration.
Basically, I think society treats old people like shit.
And that only gets worse when it comes to healthcare and end of life care. Old people gradually have their agency robbed of them. They can become prisoners of their own bodies, rendered incapable of doing all the things that made life worth living for them in the first place, crammed into warehouses by neglectful, or simply financially struggling, children - warehouses that nobody looks at too closely, as the DESTRUCTION wreaked on nursing homes by COVID proved. Some old folks effectively become objects of their children's affection at the end of their life - their lives are only valued by society according to the value that their children ascribe to them. Their agency, whether by their health, the medical system, or their financial realities, is robbed from them, and they are quietly shoved aside.
So that's why I think euthanasia is really important - it's not just about "what we should do," like you said, it's about "who we are." How do we approach death? How do we approach aging? It happens to us all - shouldn't we talk about it? And I think the elderly deserve a voice and agency to the maximum extent possible in all aspects of their life - from medical treatment, to their choice to terminate their life on their own terms, strictly based on the principle that their lives should be valued beyond their value to other people. Their right to bodily autonomy, and their right to be heard, are the most important things of all, and are part of a broader shift I see that needs to take place in society, where aging is not this vile thing to be hidden, but a universal experience, to be understood, appreciated, approached with fear and apprehension, which can be assuaged through conscientiousness, understanding and compassion.
Yes, there are ethical questions when it comes to declining mental capacity. So pay some ethicists and lawyers to figure it out - there need to be safeguards so that struggling families don't make the callous decision to cut off an expensive branch against the branch's will (something that could also be alleviated if families didn't struggle to pay for healthcare!). Elderly autonomy should be at the forefront, period, in my opinion. All other considerations be damned.
Thank you for sharing your aunt's story. It was really powerful to hear from her and get a first person perspective.