The Finns got disturbed when these Coronavirus recommendations came out - the two meter distance rule meant they had to get closer than they where comfortable with.
@@syntaxerror8955 I usually keep my distance. I like to watch folks from far away. People are funny! Or I go for skin contact. There I worry more about STD´s than Corona. :)
"Not wearing shoes inside" has nothing to do with snow.. at least, i've never heard of it. We vacuum just as much in the summer as in the winter.. The problem is more that.. outside is dirty, inside is clean. Edit: Pretty sure it's a cultural thing :) A lot of european countries don't wear shoes inside
And then there is us Dutch people 😂 it’s so normal for us not to take our shoes off when we go inside, but if the host asks us to take them off we will do respectfully. I actually have a swedish friend, she came to visit the Netherlands and when she arrived at my place she took her shoes off immediately at the door while I told her she can still wear them, it was a funny laughter about culture differences but the look on her face was priceless when I told her she can keep them on 😂
I agree. Also, if you have small kids that spend lots of time on the floor, the last thing you would want to do is dirt it. It's health benefitial. Also, when small rocks sticks to your shoes, you can cause scratches on the floor over time. There are lots of reasons to keep the shoes off inside.
Nummerkö system is great because if you are say nr 75 and nr 50 is being served you can estimate the time between the numbers and go do the rest of your shopping and come back hopefully in time to get served. This enables you to use your time in a better way than to just stand and wait!
Nr 6: Don't randomly strike up a conversation with a Swede, especially not in a bigger city. They will look at you funny and wonder why the hell you're talking to them. Unless you're a tourist speaking English asking for directions. Don't sit right next to someone on the Subway or bus if there are seats somewhere else.
I know that one.they are afraid of extrangers. They don't talk even to their own people. Between Germans and swedes I prefer Germans for sure. Germans are like coconut HARD OUTSIDE BUT SOFT INSIDE 😁😁😁 oh well Norwegians are also cute,talkative and friendly but swedes ??? NAH.....not even for one nightstand lol
There is a a clear difference if you're from south Sweden, closer to the continent. There small talk is very normal. One of the things I miss the most now living in Stockholm, cracking a joke with a cashier or greeting the bus driver. I talked to a Swiss tourist once who just couldn't believe I was Swedish because of our chit chat. 😂
I don’t understand how people should get to know each other? How can you first meet someone? Except school and workplaces. Im afraid to move to Sweden because of that. Is it really that bad?
@@GeneRauXxX No it is not that bad. You generally don't small talk with strangers on a bus while if you are at a bar it is quite normal. I would say it comes down tp the setting and situation wether small talk is "acceptable" or not (in lack of better words). Then again, I am from the South and as someone mentioned, it kinda differs depending on where in Sweden you are. But please, do not be afraid of moving to Sweden just because Swedes can be a bit more reserved, when you get to know a person they usually are one of your most loyal friends instead. ;)
Bring your own booze is mostly a thing with younger people with tighter budgets. I’d be slightly insulted if you brought your own booze to my house when you’re the guest. 🙂
It does depend on the size of the party. If it's inviting close friends over for dinner, it's one thing. If it's 10+ people, unless you have a lot of money that could be pretty expensive with the booze and the food alone. It also depends if it's more formal and special or more of a bring friends over for just party.
@@nilslin So true. Here in NA some times they have a bar at the reception and you pay (cheaper) to have some drinks. That's to help out with cost. But that depends on how wealthy the people are hosting the wedding. But yes if you have a Wedding it's all provided for.
Bring your own alcohol? No, perhaps in the younger generation, but definitely not if you are adult and invited to a party. You might bring a bottle of vine as a gift to the hostess/host.
true, but as a "ungdom" i have never heard of this. They ALWAYS got beer for u. But if its a dinner u always bring a bottle of vine or bubbel as a gift :3
Wenn we were student and threw big parties people would bring alcohol - bc it was simply too expensive to buy alcohol for e.g. 20+ people. Now, this would not happen. They might bring a bottle of good wine as a gift instead if flowers.
Har alltid varit så med dom vi umgås med iallafall.. ta med egen alkohol.. ta av skorna.. gå aldrig någonsin före i kön . Gör någon det säger jag till ordentligt 😡 man vill inte ha någon som står och knör på en som man inte känner.. men ni har även fel på vissa saker. Vi pratar visst med våra grannar och umgås . Möter man någon i huset står man ofta och pratar en stund..
Not removing shoes is just mindboggling to me. Even if you live in a "clean" area without much rain. Just because you don't see the dirt, doesn't mean it's not there. Also, you could have like a pointy tiny pebble lodged between any crevace at the bottom of your shoes without noticing. RIP expensive floor/carpet if you walk around on it with that.
@@danholm4952 Because it's beautiful (and not shit), compared to cheap true shit. Also, in most homes in Sweden we have parquet floors in the living room or in more rooms. My (herringbone) parquet floor is still in very good condition after 40 years due to not wearing shoes there.
Nr 1: True! That's why there are so much clutches between different cultures, for example many of my friends that are foreigners from middle east and especially eastern asia like china have families that loves to "show off" how much money they have, but usually the truth is that they are not as rich as they show. Swedes are the opposite, some families are very rich but don't show off that much. Nr 2: Depends! This changes with age. Trust me haha. Teens, early 20s and even early 30s always bring their own alcohol to parties (with maybe limited money and more people invited) meanwhile older generations are maybe abit more genereous! But it's definately a Swedish thing. Got a friend from Tanzania and got invited to family parties from time to time and in their culture it's important to be generous so it's kinda an insult to bring your own stuff to a party. I know many other cultures that are like this too. Nr 3: True! Only rich families living in castles don't do this! Joke aside, pretty accurate. Nr 4: True! Try sometime to stand in the middle of an elevator and look at the people pushing their backs to the wall. Social experiment that is very fun! (maybe not during covid-19 pandemic) Nr 5: True! I have actually seen a guy slap another guy in the backhead for cutting the line. The guy who cut the line immediately obey and went to the back of the line. Solid video! Keep it up! /from a Swede
When you are past 35 or something it is pretty unusual to bring alcohol to a smaller party. The host will provade for everything. Unless it is a ”knytkalas” or ”kräftskiva”.
@@SwedishTourist We usually bring our own beer to my parents because my father have a really bad taste in beer :D He think it should be cheap and watery. Hell no :D
I have never heard of bringing ur own alcohol? If teens or older youth like 18-25 host a big ass party somewhere they will buy these 100 pack beer packets for everyone and when they are empty they get the strong shit lmao.
Wait, u may be.. In my opinion is what you make special to yourself, IS special to yourself. The ones who cannot see it is either blind or having hard time to see things from your view. Just because 100 people cannot understand a certain part of yourself, dosent necessarily mean all of these 100 are correct. Because people most often belive that what everyone else does is correct. Well what happens if the first acually was Wrong? Well everyone else falls... Who is special then? Something to think about judt sayin'... 👍
What? Are you kidding? Sweden is THE LAND of Karens 😂 Everywhere you go, there’s always someone around on their high horses or who simply wants to project their own bad day or inner misery on others, complaining about something, telling others what to do/not do, reporting something, threatening to report something, accusing someone & etc… at the grocery store, shops, work places everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Especially if you stand out, looks wise. Someone’s always gonna try to start the silliest of shit with you to make themselves feel better.
@@swanson6845 can confirm. as a tourist I was bullied by a swedish guy for some reason, even though I was wrong, I didnt know it because I was in a hurry to find the right rail and catch the train for the airport. my fault was that I smoked a cigarette on the train platform and this guy had been staring at me like mad for some mins, when the train arrived I talked to him in english to confirm if I was taking the right train and he opened his mouth at the same time and spoke in swedish, then switched to english and was yelling at me for smoking, he said theres a label dont you know? and I said, no I dont know cause I really didnt see it. then in the train he kept staring at me still angry but I returned the staring. he had his little kid with him too, a toddler. even if i broke the rule I think his way was disgusting.
I think a big reason for why we're expected to bring our own alcohol is because it's so prohibitively expensive. Providing alcohol for one person is going to be 20-40USD for a night (and it can easily be much more, especially if you're drinking snaps) and it'd be rude to expect the host to pay 400USD just for a small gathering.
Jantelagen is more like an observation of social conduct than a law you consciously follow. The author was merely describing a cultural phenomenon and writing it down like it was _a law_ in a satirical way.
Exactly, and "lag" in Swedish refers to a judicial law, but Sandmose (in Danish it´s called Janteloven) used it metaphorically to stress how culturally stong this unwritten rule is.
I’m leaving tmw to Sweden for the first time. My grandmother is from Sweden and this is my first time physically meeting my family and so excited. These videos are helpful, even tho I think because of my grandmother, the way I act is probably more Swedish normal than US typical.
As an Swed myself who lived in Sweden all my life, most of these things you brought up is kinda common knowledge for me. Though, I Do have some things I wanna say about each point, which I will bring up below here. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1: don't brag.. That is just common knowledge, like its Ok to tell others you done something great in your life or tell them that ''Oh today, I was able to overcome this thing I have problem with'' That's Fine. its more that if you start telling others about ALL the things you're so great at, that's when it becomes an problem and it starts looking like you are just bragging at that point. not cause You really did something great that day, But You're just bragging for the right to brag, which is what I say is NOT Ok to do. 2: Don't forget to BYOB.. Ok so..... I have no experience with Alcohol, cause I don't drink. But, The idea of paying for your own stuff when you go out and eat or drink, is something that is expected of you most of the time, that is true. But ofc.. sometimes it can be that you are out with friends and one of the friends are fine with standing for the payment and you don't really need to pay back, they be happy if you do, but You aren't obligated to Do it all the time, Sometimes friends or someone you meet just want to be friendly with you and tell you that the bill is on them this time. 3: Don't leave your Shoes on.. Yes, 99% True. majority of the time when you go inside somewhere or at someones home, You are not allowed shoes inside and have to take them off by the door. Ofc, some places is fine walking with shoes inside, But majority of places..yea, shoes comes off. 4: Don't ignore Personal space.. Now this one is once again as I said in the beginning a bit of Common sense, Don't get up in others faces if they don't want you to. its called *Personal* Space for an reason, So Yea.. nothing more to say here, this is an 100% correct one. 5: Don't Cut in line.. Yes once again.. this is 100% true. Don't Cut in Line. some may just call you out on it, and you may just need to get last in line or have to deal with the security, other times.. it is possible that People may get really mad over it, and things could get really bad for someone. So Yea.. Don't Cut in Line, EVER. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Well that's was my thoughts on these points, hopefully it helped someone out. :)
Introverts! My gawd! I am an introvert myself and I hate... Then I come to Sweden and decided to be an extrovert by force and found of a batallion introverts... 😂
@@elwizschold Probably hates people invading their personal space. Plus starting chatting about serious matters like faith, without even introducing themselves. Like Latter Day (Mormon) missionaries. They'll seat themselves in front of you on a bus or a tram. Then turn sideways, and start asking wether you know Jesus... Oh horror ! Scary enough to turn even super extrovert Nordics into borderline recluse introverts in a split second !!! 🤓🙏 😳🙄😖☹️😵💫😠
I have become obsessed with your videos about Sweden and stuff. I happened to search about the country and came across your channel and ended up watching every single videos you posted. It is just fun to know all the details about Sweden thanks to you! Just wanted to drop a comment to show some appreciation :) Greetings from all the way from TURKEY!
Oh, you take of your shoes, is about politeness and respect. “we don’t take a shit were we eat” The culture is changing here in Sweden. The traditional Swedish manners is almost gone but in bigger parts of Scandinavia it’s still alive. I think it’s really cool that you’ve been paying attention, for real. 😇
I am moving to Sweden in 10 days and I love their way of life! The values described in this video resonate with me, and I hope more societies take these on.
I think another aspect of bring your own alcohol is that, being reserved, it can be hard to partake. If it's a wedding or something, I will certainly expect booze to be provided, but if I'm at someones house and they say "The beer is in the fridge, feel free to grab a drink", I'm going to feel uncomfortable because I would feel rude grabbing too much, I would constantly second-guess taking another drink. This has been a culture shock when I've been to american's houses outside of Sweden and I later heard that they were worried I didn't have a good time because I didn't drink, but it's because I don't want to go grabbing stuff from other peoples fridges unless they specifically hand it to me.
About Byob, if it's a party then sure, everyone brings their own drinks. If you're at like a dinner party, the host normally will provide wine, beer, drinks or whatever. Though the host will expect you to not get shit faced drunk at a dinner party :).
The whole bring your own alcohol thing also makes it so that everyone drinks what they like. Some may not like beer so they bring cider instead or what not.
I automatically hate when people brag about something, I guess I was just raised not to brag about anything (I don’t have anything to brag about so far anyways haha) but I know most Swedes hates it, especially when other Swedes does that 😂
It boils down to how you value youreself. If you think of youreself as a selfless nobody which is not worthy your own name and character you automatically get jealous of people that value themselfs higher
I found the most wonderful Danish woman who paid my fare to take the train to Denmark. She wanted to know all about California and I gave surfing stickers (from Hungington Beach) to a young Swedish man. They were so kind! Tack tack.
A swedish comic said it best. An american athlete says " i'm gonna be the champion. THE BEST! NR 1" A Swedish athlete says "i'll be extremely happy if i am amongst the 5 first"
Hahaha the queue part is sacred. just yesterday me and my friend were going out swimming and we were jumping from the speingboard to the water. This maybe 10 year old cut in line and my friend just said "Hey, there is a queue here!" and the child said sorry amd went in the back of the line. I laughed and i thought he was correct, so seemed to think the older adults too who saw that around us. We are almost 30.
I am Spanish USA born & raised and I am and was Swedish raised. Thank you for sharing; you speak clearly & concisely. You speaking background & white t-shirt do not distract from your Focus of Communication. I have lived in Southern California Laguna Niguel, South Florida & after The Univ of Miami, moved up to work (Economics & Finance) in McLean Virginia I was seeking Govt Employment.
Truth is, Swedish people need to have more social skills than these rules to follow. Its all about the energy of the person and tone of voice on how they say it. Swedish people judge too much and expect rules like this towards themselves when they need to realize who the person is with the personality. Video on youtube named " Things you should not do around Swedish people" yet they follow Americans, use American material and want American protection. Sweden is ranked 2nd to last in making friends, that means your social skills are trash.
Im a swedish woman and your'e right about much. I have always hated Jantelagen because its just so sad and contraproductive. I personally like people who are proud of themselves and want to improve in life.
The alcohol is mainly with a few of the younger crowd 20-25-ish? planning to drink…a bit. Because of the prices. Haven’t experienced that past those ages and that would be awkward to me and my friends.
1. It's ok to show off your accomplishments or w/e but you don't have to BRAG about it. "Oh hey look I got full score on my finals, I'm so happy", versus "Look I got full score on my finals, I'm so good at this, it was so easy for me I'm the best blah blah". See the difference? 2. It completely depends on the type of party. Going to a friend to drink some booze before heading out to the club, you'd normally bring your own booze. However you wouldn't bring your own booze to a wedding party for example. For birthday parties you'd usually bring your own booze unless specified otherwise in the invite. Oh and if you're just out drinking with a couple friends it's not uncommon to do the "I buy first round, you buy the next". If it's a larger group however, or if you're out having dinner or something, it would obviously be too expensive for one person to pay the whole thing. It's just about being reasonable. 3. Outside = dirty, inside = clean. Like mentioned, we have a lot of rain and snow, don't wanna bring that inside obviously. 4. I can agree that we may be a bit more reserved in Sweden. This is especially true with strangers. People usually comes off as weird if they're too open and forward to strangers. It's a bit unfortunate to be honest, I think a lot of Swedes can be too judgemental. 5. When and where would it ever be ok to cut in line lol? We do have a queue ticket system in some stores, but not all. It's to prevent long queues, and people can still walk around in the store while waiting for their turn. It's just convenient. If there is one, obviously you should use it and wait for your turn. Also even if there's a queue ticket system, that's just for the cashier. If personnel walks around in the store it's perfectly fine to ask them for help.
Yep! Spot on....cutting in line (and/or 'stealing' someone's turn in the cleaner-room) is as close to a death-sin as you come in Sweden. So much so that fights can break out bc of it actually. Great video, as usual!
There is a very famous music band in Sweden called "Larz-Kristerz" who come from my village (Älvdalen), and those guys definitely follow Jantelagen. I sometimes see some of those members casually visit the local coffee shop in my village, and they will sit around with friends and have casual chats just like everyone else. I also know some of those members quite well personally, and I will often have conversations with them when I run into them.
About the BYOB part; commonly when being invited to someone else, you're expected to bring your own alcohol. But if you are a few friends in the bar, it is pretty common to buy the 1st, 2nd and 3rd round etc. This is mostly because of convenience as the bars can sometimes be full and you do not want to lose your seats. I seem to recall you covering this "friend circle" mentality way back, it kinda ties into that. :P And yeah... When we hear someone brag about themself we only think they're missing something in their life, I am one of those people who can be a little of an imp to bragging people. Most of the times, bragging is 10% truth and 90% exaggeration and breaking down those 90% to the truth, people usually feel worse about themself instead of good. It can be pretty mean at times, but it'll definitely teach them a thing or two.
I think Swedish culture can be summarized as "be respectful, don't impose on others". That's why we also don't like bragging, keep a wide personal space, expect people to not be loud in public, be considerate and so on. It's also why we can come off as less social.
A German guy said about Sweden and rules, to test if Swedes are obsessed with rules is to stand on the wrong side of the escalator when riding the subway. After that experience you know Swedes are far more obsessed with rules than Germans.
Sweden has a cooperation and consensus mentality. Do not be in the way, and do everything in the most efficient way possible. It's not the rule that's important I think, it's the disturbance of efficiency.
no much truth about "modesty", since most of the population very extremely jealous, rasistic and report each other to the authorities - it's almost Swedish folk sport
As a swede I very much like my personal space. One of the most irritating things for me is when there's a lot of empty space at the subway station, but that ONE person just HAS to stroke your arm while passing by. I just don't get that kind of behaviour. 🤯🤯
One of the first language books I had learning Swedish explained "fika" and pointed out some topics of conversation that should be avoided. The usual controversial subjects like "politics" and "religion", but the also advised against talking about "your wonderful life" and that made me giggle.
You gotta show us around a bit more, i mean a lot more. It is good talking indoors but i would really enjoy if you record yourself outdoors. Thanks for the insights.
very interesting video. I'm from northern Scotland originally and we have a thing called the 'northeast reserve' and I think it's just a northern thing and we do have a lot of personal space as it's so sparcely populated
It's a fictional law from a novel that sums up the mentality of the Scandinavian peoples. In a nutshell, it says "don't think you're better or more special than anyone else".
I grew up in a small town in Sweden (sub 20k county population) And at places like the pharmacy they still have the number queue system. But I always experienced that if there is literally no one else there, they will help you even if you don't take the number. But I do think it is different in cities like Norrköping etc.
I think the byob is an age thing. When we were younger you would always bring your own, but now when I'm in my thirties it's kind of expected that you provide drinks and food if you throw a party. Also it's a bit more common to buy rounds at the bar. Perhaps it's due to the fact that alcohol is so expensive so when you're younger you cannot really afford it.
It might sound aggressive but i just want to clear things up since Stefan said it seems to be a stereotype of americans keeping their shoes on inside. Some swedes make it sound like you guys never have your shoes on in the house/apartments. What if you are bringing in groceries and need to come back in another 1-3 times? Do u take off ur shoes, put the groceries in the kitchen, then put them back on to go back outside? I'm curious what you guys do because that sounds really annoying and i doubt anyone does that. All the houses I've been to (in the u.s) no one wears shoes inside (except for indoor shoes/slippers) and the owners usually tell the guests to keep the shoes by the door. We take off our shoes when we know we are staying inside. But if we're doing something outside and need a cup of water real quick, ya we'll keep the shoes on. But we dont keep the shoes on for several hours walking through the house wherher its carpet or wooden floors
The beer thing confused me since where I live in the US everyone brings their own beer to parties already, same with the shoes inside thing, most people I know have shoe areas near entrances.
Not sure I’m a Swede anymore 😂 We brag a lot, we keep our shoes on inside often in the summer and so doesn’t our guests. We always offer booze to our guests when we have a party. Personal space is just now during Corona. I live in the country down in Österlen 😊
@@whatisthis7196 Bor man på landet och springer ut och in en massa så är där lika grusigt på golvet oavsett om man har skorna på eller ej 🙈 Så ska man bara in ett ärende så gå man in med skor. Nu när vi hade kalas så var vi mestadels ute på baksidan men gästerna gick in med skor när de skulle på toa eller hämta dricka i köket. Det är ju inte så att skorna är mycket skitigare än fötterna när det är så här torrt. Vi går dock aldrig upp på ovanvåningen med skor
@@jennywellman3025 Men varför bara inte kasta av sig skorna snabbt innan man går in? Det tar liksom 1 sekund att göra. Sen kan jag förstå om man går in med skorna 1 gång om man bara gått på gräsmattan eller liknande men annars tar jag alltid av mig skorna hur många gånger jag än springer in
@@whatisthis7196 Vi har ju bara gräsmatta här ute och vi har ju inneskor/sandaler på oss både ute och inne (har själv hälsporre så jag går alltid med skor)
I think number 5 is connected to the personal space issue. I think it’s about not being bothered unless you ask for it. I personally hate when I’m in a store and people come up to me asking if I want help if I don’t need it. I will ask if I have to. 😄
No normally you don't have to take a number to get served by the cashier. This is only the case in some pharmacies if they have that system. Normally you would just walk up to the cashier if you need help, or they will come to you and ask if you need help just like in any other country. :)
I'm from Sweden and always found the shoes thing weird. Dragging in dirt aside, I don't understand why anyone would even still wanna wear their shoes indoors, ESPECIALLY if you live somewhere with hotter weather. It's just not comfortable!
I've already made plenty of these mistakes. 🤣😭🙈 My inlaws came round, I dont like awkward silence, so I talked non stop for hours about my life. Even I was tired of my own voice by the end of it! But if you're not going to say much, then dont visit me! Also went out for a walk in a posh park in town, I screamed at my child to "BE CAREFUL" because she was running into the path of a guy who was on an electric scooter. I got such strange looks for being *extra* 🙄. I also dont dress in the uniform black or white like Swedes.. Im from London so usually want to look trendy and stand out a bit. I do feel like some of these things make Sweden a boring snobbish place.. Like I wanna say sometimes "Take the stick out your ass!?" ..so I'll probably get deported soon 😅😅
Like the proper Swede that I am, I get VERY uncomfortable when a stranger comes up close😂 Talking to neighbors is also very uncomfortable for us. “Hi” and “How are you?” is okay, but further than that makes me SUPER uncomfortable
My compatriots in Sweeden have a problem when their parents arrive for a couple of days and insist to bring baked cookies and cakes for the neighbours 🤣🤣🤣 they cant explain to them that its not acceptable there and that neighbours are hiding.
Actually, Stefan you are talking about some habits that belongs to people in your age (about offering alcohol), for older people, you don't bring your alcohol with you, the host will offer that .. so the perspective is different depending on who you are dealing with and it's not applicable for everyone. Also it depends on for many Swedish people who've got a foreigner background, they may behave different than what you are talking about, the Swedish society has been mixed in the last 30 years, it's multi-cultural and have various of habits.
I'm with you on that. There is a difference with the drink- and shoerule when it comes to age and money. (And weather) if I would host a summerparty I would make sure my guests have food and drinks and dont have to take the shoes of. (Me and my husband is 40-50) Alkohol is expensive in sweden so its smart that you bring exaktly what you want to a party. And that way its not only the host that get stuck with the biggest bill everu time!
@@beorlingo what does being "Swedish" means for you? Because it's an old term, today there less typical Swedish people even though they share many habits.. The newer generations has been changed alot because of travelling, Internet, media, TV, etc..
L enjoy your videos. I can see where my father had more of a Swedish temperement he probably got from his parents and grandparents. He was more laid back and calm where my mother was Italian and passionate. I try to keep a balance between them.
Damn, I shoulda been born a Swede. I had always been fine with just being quiet and in the US, that is NOT seen as being NORMAL. I will NOT go into all of the problems that I had growing up in the US as a quiet person, plus, problems as an adult as a shy and quiet person. BUT, I will just say that in the US, people can be really JUDGEMENTAL about you, and it CAN affect your career, and you keeping your job, and you can be fired because some people will say that you aren't friendly, and as in MY case, that you have an "attitude problem", just because you will NOT talk all friendly with everybody. And, IF your "boss" is used to having people soothing her ego, and being her "buddy" she just MAY see that maybe YOU have a "attitude problem" so, YOU can be fired in MY home state, with NO reason given. I had worked at that job for almost a year before they had fired me. Now, the whole thing about taking your shoes off in Sweden before you enter a persons home, that is actually popular in many homes here in the US. NOT in MY home growing up though. But, as a young kid, I do recall having to do so in a few of my friends homes. In MY home, people tracking dirt inside is NOT the real problem, WE have 3 dogs that can go in and out of the house into a yard with grass, and then the cats, all 14 of them, they bring in some REALLY fowl things. IF it were JUST ME, I would NOT have all of these cats here, and they are NOT "Clean animals" like many people think they are. The dogs are cleaner than our cats, the cats 'spray" where they seem to THINK is their territory, even the females do it, and ALL of the cats are either spayed or neutered. But, it is NOT just me here, my whole family lives here,. so, I have to just NOT get upset by it, IF I do, what can I do to change it anyway? We have NO rugs in our house, so, I can just vacuum it up and then mop, so that is what I do. The whole "personal space" thing, makes me really think that, I shoulda been born in Sweden. In the US IF they see and know that you are shy or quiet, they will purposely stare at you to make you feel weird, and when or IF you show a "reaction" to what they have done, what can YOU really say that they have done to you? They LOOKED AT YOU, and what CAN you really say they have done wrong? ANYWAY, I had just gotten really upset, and ended up looking like I was some NUTJOB, and when I had gotten so mad that I cussed them out, well, THEN my ass got fired. SO, in the end, THAT was the reason given, BUT, the whole "Attitude problem" thing had happened BEFORE I had gotten fired. I had worked at that job for about 3-4 days after the whole thing about how I had an attitude problem. It had been the 3-4 days later that I had gotten fired. Anyway, people in the US really think different than Swedes or maybe even many Northern Europeans. I do love alot about my home Country, BUT, there is alot that is just SO messed up with our popular culture. That "take a number" thing used to be kinda normal in the US, BUT, lately a store will have a "number machine' BUT, they have NOT used it for a while, so, you just have to stand there, and kinda take note of who you are behind, and make SURE that you get your turn. Basically, in the US, you just HAVE to be loud, aggressive, mean and in many cases, a real "ass kisser" in order to either "get ahead" or maybe even just to keep your job,,and to NOT become a target for bullies, and I mean even after High school. And, I do NOT even live in New York city. OR any CITY.
@@Kramttin Thank you, LOL! I do love my country, BUT, as I said before, people can REALLY be so messed up. I am NOT perfect by any means, BUT, people just need to stop being so happy to provoke others to get a "rise" out of them. That is a BIG thing here in the US. Okay, I'll shut up now. :>)
The whole video I was like "don't ignore the queue/don't cut the line". Of all the social no-nos, that's probably the one that rubs me the wrong way the most. To me, it's close to barbaric and Hobbesian when bottlenecks form around busses and lines are cut at stores, like, what happened to civility?
All the people mentioning BYOB is something only the young adults do. You are correct, but you also interpreted the meaning of the word "party" wrong. BYOB is for the "we gonna get shitfaced tonight"-parties, not dinnerparties or grannys birthday.
The number system has a purpose. First off, the way you notify them that you want attention is by producing a number, they get alerted and can stop doing the day-to-day maintenance work at a natural stopping point to take care of you. Workers in places with a numbering system, like pharmacies and whatnot, aren't expected to drop everything at a moment's notice and help you. But to, when they've reached a point in whatever task they're doing that they can halt without losing track of where they are or similar, and then go and take care of the pending customer(s). There's more to it than just a queue system, you're also queuing with "the tasks of the day" which are basically in effect when there's nobody queued up in the system. This is about the modern digital system, the older analogue "ticket rolls" systems are a bit different, since there's no feedback when a ticket got produced, and the places with those are generally more "you can just walk up to the register if you're the only one in there"-y
I'm happy to hear that you're finally say "The States" instead of America . America is the entire continent born The United States. I like your videos.
@@StefanThyron do you also explain that law of Jante is from a fictional story written by a Danish-Norwegian author and is about a fictional Danish village?
@@StefanThyron I, me and myself know that -I meant from the point of a viewer who just happen to see this as their first video! Dont use the word law. It isnt. That would make me an American, breaking the law.
The whole not buying rounds is kinda expected cause 1) we don't wanna owe others something and 2) it would also maybe put expectation on some people to pay, but might not have the money to pay for all.
Exactly. And, since you never know in advance how long anyone is gonna stick around, taking turns buying rounds would mean that some cheap, clever person could drink at the others' expense only to sneak away just before his/her time to buy the next round :-)
Grew up in U.S. with Swedish dad and Norwegian mother. Rule #1 Don't speak to the neighbors.😂 Also, friends just showing up unannounced (especially on holidays), bringing friends home from school with you, NOT!😄 Here in U.S. it's more picking which friend you'd go home with after school, i.e. who had the best mom/cookie baker!😂
If we would talk to the king we would talk to him in the exact same way as talking to another stranger. My mum gave the king alot of things to hold because she was cleaning and he accidentally bumped in to her so she dropped everything
BYOB to all parties because alcohol is insanely expensive in Sweden 😬 The number in the stores are for fairness. You'll know if you grew up there. Otherwise, at what point should yiu take a number, when there's 2, 3, or 5 people? Also, taking a number means you're ready to talk to the staff, not just browsing. Great topics that you chose.
The BYOB was a strange experience for me! Being from England, alcohol is a lot cheaper there so it’s way more common for booze to be shared around. I don’t hate the system here, but it definitely takes some getting used to.
One funny and peculiar thing with queuing in Spain; they seldom have number tickets, instead you ask when you enter: " Who is the last in line" and then only have to keep track on that person. At the bus stop same thing, but usually without asking - people just let people enter in the order they arrived to the bus stop. Very polite ☺👍💃
It’s ok to be proud of things you’ve achieved. It’s all about how you say things and not what you’re saying. As an example, say that you have fought very much for something and eventually it paid off. You’re happy, proud of yourself & it means a lot to you. That’s ok and people are happy for you! But if you only tell things, to tell things. It’s not appreciated. Like “I own these cars, earn this much & have a summerhouse in Marbella” and there’s no purpose behind it. You just want to tell people what you have. Then Swedes get like “ok. Thank you for the info!” And you get perceived as bragging. It’s all about Swedes don’t appreciate when you portraying yourself as better and higher than others. While belittle others who’s not achieved the same things.
The thing with the number in que, are that they might have other things to do, so you take a number and wait. In that way you don't stress them and they can give 100% focus when it's your turn.
I should not use English ;) But #5 is such an incredibly different view on things. When I was in US recently I felt harrassed by shop employees. Leave me alone, I know what a shoe looks like -you know what I mean?
Sept. America that's called customer service you offer your help to the customer and have to stay around in clase that she/he has a question for instance to bring another size or if there is any question. Its the contrary in sweden there nobody cares about customers. So if they were around you trying to help was not because you look rich or handsome (I doubt it) it was because greeting and approaching a customer is part of their job.
Notes taken: if you're from Finland, remember to do these things in Sweden. Bragging especially about ice hockey. Always remember to take someone's akvavit, but leave a conspicuous Finlandia vodka on the table. Insist on using euros. Walk around in your sandals plus Finland -socks. Surprise someone from behind, smelling like alcohol and in a thick Finnish accent ask where the toilet is. If you cut in line, make sure that you do it in the cruise ship terminal. Use elbows if you have to. Speak in Finnish about "bättre folk" if you're drunk enough, for special effects.
The Finns got disturbed when these Coronavirus recommendations came out - the two meter distance rule meant they had to get closer than they where comfortable with.
Aaaaaawkwaaaaard...........😳🤣
@@syntaxerror8955 I usually keep my distance. I like to watch folks from far away. People are funny! Or I go for skin contact. There I worry more about STD´s than Corona. :)
Same in Estonia :)
😮
Now that the two meter rule is over they can go back to standing five meters apart.
"Not wearing shoes inside" has nothing to do with snow.. at least, i've never heard of it.
We vacuum just as much in the summer as in the winter..
The problem is more that.. outside is dirty, inside is clean.
Edit: Pretty sure it's a cultural thing :) A lot of european countries don't wear shoes inside
Exactly, who in their right mind wear outside shoes inside? It's disgusting... :o
@@BonsaiKittenLady it is.. hella weird ^^
And then there is us Dutch people 😂 it’s so normal for us not to take our shoes off when we go inside, but if the host asks us to take them off we will do respectfully.
I actually have a swedish friend, she came to visit the Netherlands and when she arrived at my place she took her shoes off immediately at the door while I told her she can still wear them, it was a funny laughter about culture differences but the look on her face was priceless when I told her she can keep them on 😂
I agree.
Also, if you have small kids that spend lots of time on the floor, the last thing you would want to do is dirt it.
It's health benefitial.
Also, when small rocks sticks to your shoes, you can cause scratches on the floor over time.
There are lots of reasons to keep the shoes off inside.
Not wearing shoes inside -in Balkans land also
Nummerkö system is great because if you are say nr 75 and nr 50 is being served you can estimate the time between the numbers and go do the rest of your shopping and come back hopefully in time to get served. This enables you to use your time in a better way than to just stand and wait!
Also more and more The number tags are used for statistics for management to analyse.
And the person behind the cashier can know how much thime there is until next custumer in case they need to get stuff from the back or so
Sure if you don't take like 6 hours shopping........👀🙄🤣🤣
Im from sweden sina Farhat and i have to say that you are sadly mistaken. Nummerkö is a great thought but in real life it sucks most of the times
@@ChristofferOrrmalmUtsi if it's the bank, you can probably get back after 6 hours and still wait for half an hour 😂
Nr 6:
Don't randomly strike up a conversation with a Swede, especially not in a bigger city. They will look at you funny and wonder why the hell you're talking to them. Unless you're a tourist speaking English asking for directions.
Don't sit right next to someone on the Subway or bus if there are seats somewhere else.
I know that one.they are afraid of extrangers. They don't talk even to their own people. Between Germans and swedes I prefer Germans for sure. Germans are like coconut HARD OUTSIDE BUT SOFT INSIDE 😁😁😁 oh well Norwegians are also cute,talkative and friendly but swedes ??? NAH.....not even for one nightstand lol
@@suzannelardeux9018 That just makes me wonder if you even met any Swedes at all :o
There is a a clear difference if you're from south Sweden, closer to the continent. There small talk is very normal. One of the things I miss the most now living in Stockholm, cracking a joke with a cashier or greeting the bus driver. I talked to a Swiss tourist once who just couldn't believe I was Swedish because of our chit chat. 😂
I don’t understand how people should get to know each other? How can you first meet someone? Except school and workplaces. Im afraid to move to Sweden because of that. Is it really that bad?
@@GeneRauXxX No it is not that bad. You generally don't small talk with strangers on a bus while if you are at a bar it is quite normal. I would say it comes down tp the setting and situation wether small talk is "acceptable" or not (in lack of better words). Then again, I am from the South and as someone mentioned, it kinda differs depending on where in Sweden you are. But please, do not be afraid of moving to Sweden just because Swedes can be a bit more reserved, when you get to know a person they usually are one of your most loyal friends instead. ;)
Bring your own booze is mostly a thing with younger people with tighter budgets. I’d be slightly insulted if you brought your own booze to my house when you’re the guest. 🙂
It does depend on the size of the party.
If it's inviting close friends over for dinner, it's one thing. If it's 10+ people, unless you have a lot of money that could be pretty expensive with the booze and the food alone.
It also depends if it's more formal and special or more of a bring friends over for just party.
@@loki76 Yeah, imagine bringing booze to a wedding party! lol
@@nilslin So true.
Here in NA some times they have a bar at the reception and you pay (cheaper) to have some drinks. That's to help out with cost. But that depends on how wealthy the people are hosting the wedding.
But yes if you have a Wedding it's all provided for.
I'm thinking bring booze as a gift to the host.
Yeah, that BYOB thing applies to Americans as well. Younger people do it, but older folks bring to share 🥂
Bring your own alcohol? No, perhaps in the younger generation, but definitely not if you are adult and invited to a party. You might bring a bottle of vine as a gift to the hostess/host.
true, but as a "ungdom" i have never heard of this. They ALWAYS got beer for u. But if its a dinner u always bring a bottle of vine or bubbel as a gift :3
@@zfrozzy2128 teen
Wenn we were student and threw big parties people would bring alcohol - bc it was simply too expensive to buy alcohol for e.g. 20+ people.
Now, this would not happen. They might bring a bottle of good wine as a gift instead if flowers.
Har alltid varit så med dom vi umgås med iallafall.. ta med egen alkohol.. ta av skorna.. gå aldrig någonsin före i kön . Gör någon det säger jag till ordentligt 😡 man vill inte ha någon som står och knör på en som man inte känner.. men ni har även fel på vissa saker. Vi pratar visst med våra grannar och umgås . Möter man någon i huset står man ofta och pratar en stund..
Not removing shoes is just mindboggling to me. Even if you live in a "clean" area without much rain. Just because you don't see the dirt, doesn't mean it's not there. Also, you could have like a pointy tiny pebble lodged between any crevace at the bottom of your shoes without noticing. RIP expensive floor/carpet if you walk around on it with that.
wow finally common sense
why would anyone need expensive shit?
@@danholm4952 why would anyone need to walk indoors with shoes?
@@danholm4952 Because it's beautiful (and not shit), compared to cheap true shit. Also, in most homes in Sweden we have parquet floors in the living room or in more rooms. My (herringbone) parquet floor is still in very good condition after 40 years due to not wearing shoes there.
You obviously do not suffer from plantar fasciitis! Never walk barefoot, or just with flat paper slippers.
Nr 1: True! That's why there are so much clutches between different cultures, for example many of my friends that are foreigners from middle east and especially eastern asia like china have families that loves to "show off" how much money they have, but usually the truth is that they are not as rich as they show. Swedes are the opposite, some families are very rich but don't show off that much.
Nr 2: Depends! This changes with age. Trust me haha. Teens, early 20s and even early 30s always bring their own alcohol to parties (with maybe limited money and more people invited) meanwhile older generations are maybe abit more genereous! But it's definately a Swedish thing. Got a friend from Tanzania and got invited to family parties from time to time and in their culture it's important to be generous so it's kinda an insult to bring your own stuff to a party. I know many other cultures that are like this too.
Nr 3: True! Only rich families living in castles don't do this! Joke aside, pretty accurate.
Nr 4: True! Try sometime to stand in the middle of an elevator and look at the people pushing their backs to the wall. Social experiment that is very fun! (maybe not during covid-19 pandemic)
Nr 5: True! I have actually seen a guy slap another guy in the backhead for cutting the line. The guy who cut the line immediately obey and went to the back of the line.
Solid video! Keep it up! /from a Swede
When you are past 35 or something it is pretty unusual to bring alcohol to a smaller party. The host will provade for everything. Unless it is a ”knytkalas” or ”kräftskiva”.
100%
Also for family gatherings I've never expected guests to bring their own alcohol, but that's sort of a different context ...
If i invite someone, I allways have beer for them.
@@SwedishTourist We usually bring our own beer to my parents because my father have a really bad taste in beer :D He think it should be cheap and watery. Hell no :D
@@linabing9181 It's ale all the way. No Norrlands Guld or nasty Falcon. Bring me that Lagunitas or La Trappe!
I have never heard of bringing ur own alcohol? If teens or older youth like 18-25 host a big ass party somewhere they will buy these 100 pack beer packets for everyone and when they are empty they get the strong shit lmao.
Same don'ts in Denmark, Norway, Finland too 😉 (Iceland & the Faroe Islands)
It's Nordic thing! 🤣👍
Yes they are very similar as well 😜
@@StefanThyron Hi Stefan how are you?
@@StefanThyron Wow super 👍👍
That's why there should be a Nordic Union and drop out of European Union.
At least the Nordic people share similar culture, values and "rules".
@@loki76
There is a Nordic Union...
I guess jantelagen helps us not be a "Karen". You aren´t more special than anyone else around you
Wait, u may be.. In my opinion is what you make special to yourself, IS special to yourself. The ones who cannot see it is either blind or having hard time to see things from your view. Just because 100 people cannot understand a certain part of yourself, dosent necessarily mean all of these 100 are correct. Because people most often belive that what everyone else does is correct. Well what happens if the first acually was Wrong? Well everyone else falls... Who is special then? Something to think about judt sayin'... 👍
Trust me, there are Swedish Karens.
Still got those "Karens" In sweden though.
What? Are you kidding?
Sweden is THE LAND of Karens 😂
Everywhere you go, there’s always someone around on their high horses or who simply wants to project their own bad day or inner misery on others, complaining about something, telling others what to do/not do, reporting something, threatening to report something, accusing someone & etc… at the grocery store, shops, work places everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Especially if you stand out, looks wise. Someone’s always gonna try to start the silliest of shit with you to make themselves feel better.
@@swanson6845 can confirm. as a tourist I was bullied by a swedish guy for some reason, even though I was wrong, I didnt know it because I was in a hurry to find the right rail and catch the train for the airport. my fault was that I smoked a cigarette on the train platform and this guy had been staring at me like mad for some mins, when the train arrived I talked to him in english to confirm if I was taking the right train and he opened his mouth at the same time and spoke in swedish, then switched to english and was yelling at me for smoking, he said theres a label dont you know? and I said, no I dont know cause I really didnt see it. then in the train he kept staring at me still angry but I returned the staring. he had his little kid with him too, a toddler. even if i broke the rule I think his way was disgusting.
I think a big reason for why we're expected to bring our own alcohol is because it's so prohibitively expensive. Providing alcohol for one person is going to be 20-40USD for a night (and it can easily be much more, especially if you're drinking snaps) and it'd be rude to expect the host to pay 400USD just for a small gathering.
Yup, you got a point there. After all, alcohol is liquid gold here pretty much.
Depends on what type of party. Ordinary dinner parties the hosts supply everything
So cheap
@@helenthomascarleson4655 yes, but then again, it’s good manners to bring a gift, and it’s really good if that gift is a bottle of wine 😄
@@helenthomascarleson4655 nja, Saken är att gå så lite minus som möjligt
My family does these things and live we in America. And my great grandfather and grandfather is from Gothenburg.
Nice! I am from Göteborg (Gothenburg) 💙
So am i 👍😊
My great grandfather was from Gothenburg.
Jantelagen is nor has ever been an actual law. It is from a satirical book.
And it is Danish, not Swedish.
(Aksel Sandemose, who was both Danish and Norwegian)
@@dirgniflesuoh7950 that too 😆
@@syntaxerror8955 I agree. But Stefan made it sound like a judicial law. Which it isn’t
Jantelagen is more like an observation of social conduct than a law you consciously follow. The author was merely describing a cultural phenomenon and writing it down like it was _a law_ in a satirical way.
Exactly, and "lag" in Swedish refers to a judicial law, but Sandmose (in Danish it´s called Janteloven) used it metaphorically to stress how culturally stong this unwritten rule is.
I’m leaving tmw to Sweden for the first time. My grandmother is from Sweden and this is my first time physically meeting my family and so excited. These videos are helpful, even tho I think because of my grandmother, the way I act is probably more Swedish normal than US typical.
Välkommen!
Welcome!
You'll love it here, but watch out for AIK:are 🤞
@@beorlingo don’t, we are all family 🖤💛
@@nilsoskar yeah yeah very friendly people. Nobody believes that. You guys are getting bad reputation (internationally) because rac--mo.
As an Swed myself who lived in Sweden all my life, most of these things you brought up is kinda common knowledge for me.
Though, I Do have some things I wanna say about each point, which I will bring up below here.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1: don't brag.. That is just common knowledge, like its Ok to tell others you done something great in your life or tell them that ''Oh today, I was able to overcome this thing I have problem with'' That's Fine. its more that if you start telling others about ALL the things you're so great at, that's when it becomes an problem and it starts looking like you are just bragging at that point. not cause You really did something great that day, But You're just bragging for the right to brag, which is what I say is NOT Ok to do.
2: Don't forget to BYOB.. Ok so..... I have no experience with Alcohol, cause I don't drink. But, The idea of paying for your own stuff when you go out and eat or drink, is something that is expected of you most of the time, that is true. But ofc.. sometimes it can be that you are out with friends and one of the friends are fine with standing for the payment and you don't really need to pay back, they be happy if you do, but You aren't obligated to Do it all the time, Sometimes friends or someone you meet just want to be friendly with you and tell you that the bill is on them this time.
3: Don't leave your Shoes on.. Yes, 99% True. majority of the time when you go inside somewhere or at someones home, You are not allowed shoes inside and have to take them off by the door. Ofc, some places is fine walking with shoes inside, But majority of places..yea, shoes comes off.
4: Don't ignore Personal space.. Now this one is once again as I said in the beginning a bit of Common sense, Don't get up in others faces if they don't want you to. its called *Personal* Space for an reason, So Yea.. nothing more to say here, this is an 100% correct one.
5: Don't Cut in line.. Yes once again.. this is 100% true. Don't Cut in Line. some may just call you out on it, and you may just need to get last in line or have to deal with the security, other times.. it is possible that People may get really mad over it, and things could get really bad for someone. So Yea.. Don't Cut in Line, EVER.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Well that's was my thoughts on these points, hopefully it helped someone out. :)
Alternativ titel: "Stefans guide till att inte vara ett rövhål"
Or what not to do if you want to be a typical Swede....
"You need to keep your distance"
"Got it"
"It will help your health"
"Yep"
"And minimize the spread of the virus"
"What virus?"
My life as a Swede
Same
Introverts! My gawd! I am an introvert myself and I hate... Then I come to Sweden and decided to be an extrovert by force and found of a batallion introverts... 😂
What do you hate, and why?
Hahaha, den var bra. 😁
@@elwizschold
Probably hates people invading their personal space.
Plus starting chatting about serious matters like faith, without even introducing themselves.
Like Latter Day (Mormon) missionaries.
They'll seat themselves in front of you on a bus or a tram.
Then turn sideways, and start asking wether you know Jesus...
Oh horror !
Scary enough to turn even super extrovert Nordics into borderline recluse introverts in a split second !!!
🤓🙏 😳🙄😖☹️😵💫😠
I have become obsessed with your videos about Sweden and stuff. I happened to search about the country and came across your channel and ended up watching every single videos you posted. It is just fun to know all the details about Sweden thanks to you! Just wanted to drop a comment to show some appreciation :) Greetings from all the way from TURKEY!
Oh, you take of your shoes, is about politeness and respect. “we don’t take a shit were we eat” The culture is changing here in Sweden. The traditional Swedish manners is almost gone but in bigger parts of Scandinavia it’s still alive. I think it’s really cool that you’ve been paying attention, for real. 😇
I am pretty sure the phrase you quoted means don't have sex at the workplace😅😅😅. Ye it's a confusing metaphor)
I am moving to Sweden in 10 days and I love their way of life! The values described in this video resonate with me, and I hope more societies take these on.
Ure very welcome.
I live in Sweden in my hole life
Unfortunetly
yo hello welcome to sweden how u liking this past year
Be carefull what you wish
I think another aspect of bring your own alcohol is that, being reserved, it can be hard to partake. If it's a wedding or something, I will certainly expect booze to be provided, but if I'm at someones house and they say "The beer is in the fridge, feel free to grab a drink", I'm going to feel uncomfortable because I would feel rude grabbing too much, I would constantly second-guess taking another drink. This has been a culture shock when I've been to american's houses outside of Sweden and I later heard that they were worried I didn't have a good time because I didn't drink, but it's because I don't want to go grabbing stuff from other peoples fridges unless they specifically hand it to me.
as a swede i can confirm, you are always spot on with these vids haha quite fun to see and reflect
About Byob, if it's a party then sure, everyone brings their own drinks. If you're at like a dinner party, the host normally will provide wine, beer, drinks or whatever. Though the host will expect you to not get shit faced drunk at a dinner party :).
The whole bring your own alcohol thing also makes it so that everyone drinks what they like. Some may not like beer so they bring cider instead or what not.
I automatically hate when people brag about something, I guess I was just raised not to brag about anything (I don’t have anything to brag about so far anyways haha) but I know most Swedes hates it, especially when other Swedes does that 😂
It boils down to how you value youreself. If you think of youreself as a selfless nobody which is not worthy your own name and character you automatically get jealous of people that value themselfs higher
I found the most wonderful Danish woman who paid my fare to take the train to Denmark. She wanted to know all about California and I gave surfing stickers (from Hungington Beach) to a young Swedish man. They were so kind! Tack tack.
We have this thing called "vuxenpoäng". Offering alcohol to your guests as a host is one of the criteria.
And its also what do if you want to be polite. And if you can afford it.
Vist absolut, det gäller för gästen också som vid en middagsbjudning exempelvis, vanligt hyfs att ta med sig en vinflaska.
@EDITS Not rly, we swedes dont really drink that much. Its more of the younger generations that has started.
When you talk about Jantelagen as a law it sounds like you're committing a crime if you brag 😂
It's a thought crime.
Hahaha undra vad minimistraffet är...
Lite i samma kretsar som att självmord är olagligt. När man är borta så kan ju ingen straffa dig ändå. xD
MrBern91 Haha I like your example
The person you're bragging to will treat you as if you're a criminal and quickly get away from you. I would just assume the person is a sociopath.
Hey Stefan! I am learning Swedish at the moment and you videos are amazing! Thanks
Glad you like them!
It is so interesting with different cultures. Those 5 things are so obvious to us. Great video.
A swedish comic said it best. An american athlete says " i'm gonna be the champion. THE BEST! NR 1" A Swedish athlete says "i'll be extremely happy if i am amongst the 5 first"
Until Zlatan.
@@KerstinMamma Hahahahaha oh Zlatan, Zlatan. True.
Hahaha the queue part is sacred. just yesterday me and my friend were going out swimming and we were jumping from the speingboard to the water. This maybe 10 year old cut in line and my friend just said "Hey, there is a queue here!" and the child said sorry amd went in the back of the line. I laughed and i thought he was correct, so seemed to think the older adults too who saw that around us. We are almost 30.
I am Spanish USA born & raised and I am and was Swedish raised. Thank you for sharing; you speak clearly & concisely. You speaking background & white t-shirt do not distract from your Focus of Communication. I have lived in Southern California Laguna Niguel, South Florida & after The Univ of Miami, moved up to work (Economics & Finance) in McLean Virginia I was seeking Govt Employment.
Truth is, Swedish people need to have more social skills than these rules to follow. Its all about the energy of the person and tone of voice on how they say it. Swedish people judge too much and expect rules like this towards themselves when they need to realize who the person is with the personality. Video on youtube named " Things you should not do around Swedish people" yet they follow Americans, use American material and want American protection. Sweden is ranked 2nd to last in making friends, that means your social skills are trash.
Thank you for helping us in order to not fall in awkward situation🙏
Im a swedish woman and your'e right about much. I have always hated Jantelagen because its just so sad and contraproductive. I personally like people who are proud of themselves and want to improve in life.
The alcohol is mainly with a few of the younger crowd 20-25-ish? planning to drink…a bit. Because of the prices.
Haven’t experienced that past those ages and that would be awkward to me and my friends.
1. It's ok to show off your accomplishments or w/e but you don't have to BRAG about it. "Oh hey look I got full score on my finals, I'm so happy", versus "Look I got full score on my finals, I'm so good at this, it was so easy for me I'm the best blah blah". See the difference?
2. It completely depends on the type of party. Going to a friend to drink some booze before heading out to the club, you'd normally bring your own booze. However you wouldn't bring your own booze to a wedding party for example. For birthday parties you'd usually bring your own booze unless specified otherwise in the invite. Oh and if you're just out drinking with a couple friends it's not uncommon to do the "I buy first round, you buy the next". If it's a larger group however, or if you're out having dinner or something, it would obviously be too expensive for one person to pay the whole thing. It's just about being reasonable.
3. Outside = dirty, inside = clean. Like mentioned, we have a lot of rain and snow, don't wanna bring that inside obviously.
4. I can agree that we may be a bit more reserved in Sweden. This is especially true with strangers. People usually comes off as weird if they're too open and forward to strangers. It's a bit unfortunate to be honest, I think a lot of Swedes can be too judgemental.
5. When and where would it ever be ok to cut in line lol? We do have a queue ticket system in some stores, but not all. It's to prevent long queues, and people can still walk around in the store while waiting for their turn. It's just convenient. If there is one, obviously you should use it and wait for your turn. Also even if there's a queue ticket system, that's just for the cashier. If personnel walks around in the store it's perfectly fine to ask them for help.
So the five points basically is, do not act like an american
Note! Jante lagen is not Swedish (it is Danish), but we live by it sometimes...
Yep! Spot on....cutting in line (and/or 'stealing' someone's turn in the cleaner-room) is as close to a death-sin as you come in Sweden. So much so that fights can break out bc of it actually.
Great video, as usual!
There is a very famous music band in Sweden called "Larz-Kristerz" who come from my village (Älvdalen), and those guys definitely follow Jantelagen.
I sometimes see some of those members casually visit the local coffee shop in my village, and they will sit around with friends and have casual chats just like everyone else.
I also know some of those members quite well personally, and I will often have conversations with them when I run into them.
About the BYOB part; commonly when being invited to someone else, you're expected to bring your own alcohol. But if you are a few friends in the bar, it is pretty common to buy the 1st, 2nd and 3rd round etc. This is mostly because of convenience as the bars can sometimes be full and you do not want to lose your seats. I seem to recall you covering this "friend circle" mentality way back, it kinda ties into that. :P And yeah... When we hear someone brag about themself we only think they're missing something in their life, I am one of those people who can be a little of an imp to bragging people. Most of the times, bragging is 10% truth and 90% exaggeration and breaking down those 90% to the truth, people usually feel worse about themself instead of good. It can be pretty mean at times, but it'll definitely teach them a thing or two.
I think Swedish culture can be summarized as "be respectful, don't impose on others". That's why we also don't like bragging, keep a wide personal space, expect people to not be loud in public, be considerate and so on.
It's also why we can come off as less social.
This all seems like common courtesy and respect/good manners. The Swedes are lovely. 😊🙏
Spot on! Regards from a native swede 😀
A German guy said about Sweden and rules, to test if Swedes are obsessed with rules is to stand on the wrong side of the escalator when riding the subway. After that experience you know Swedes are far more obsessed with rules than Germans.
Sweden has a cooperation and consensus mentality. Do not be in the way, and do everything in the most efficient way possible. It's not the rule that's important I think, it's the disturbance of efficiency.
@@CandidZulu as a Swede I can agree with that. But we also have a perfect way of being passive-aggressive to those not following the rules.
No bragging…ample personal space…no small talk… Awesome. I want to live in Sweden!
no much truth about "modesty", since most of the population very extremely jealous, rasistic and report each other to the authorities - it's almost Swedish folk sport
As a swede I very much like my personal space. One of the most irritating things for me is when there's a lot of empty space at the subway station, but that ONE person just HAS to stroke your arm while passing by. I just don't get that kind of behaviour. 🤯🤯
I hate it when some random just sits next to you on the tube😔
One of the first language books I had learning Swedish explained "fika" and pointed out some topics of conversation that should be avoided. The usual controversial subjects like "politics" and "religion", but the also advised against talking about "your wonderful life" and that made me giggle.
Hi Stefan when you have a fresh video I always watch and listen
You gotta show us around a bit more, i mean a lot more. It is good talking indoors but i would really enjoy if you record yourself outdoors. Thanks for the insights.
As a Swede I think it is very funny to watch your videos 😅😳
In America we leave our shoes on because our dirt is clean.
Been following you all the way from 6000 subs in Norrköping, and soon you'll hit a 100k! Be proud & drop the Jante for a while! ;)
Jante is what makes us Scandos stand out. We should cherish and cultivate this unique mindset.
very interesting video. I'm from northern Scotland originally and we have a thing called the 'northeast reserve' and I think it's just a northern thing and we do have a lot of personal space as it's so sparcely populated
It's a fictional law from a novel that sums up the mentality of the Scandinavian peoples. In a nutshell, it says "don't think you're better or more special than anyone else".
Bring your own alcohol in Sweden? Perhaps when your a teenager going to a party with the intension of getting drunk, but not as an adult.
I grew up in a small town in Sweden (sub 20k county population) And at places like the pharmacy they still have the number queue system. But I always experienced that if there is literally no one else there, they will help you even if you don't take the number. But I do think it is different in cities like Norrköping etc.
I think the byob is an age thing. When we were younger you would always bring your own, but now when I'm in my thirties it's kind of expected that you provide drinks and food if you throw a party. Also it's a bit more common to buy rounds at the bar. Perhaps it's due to the fact that alcohol is so expensive so when you're younger you cannot really afford it.
It might sound aggressive but i just want to clear things up since Stefan said it seems to be a stereotype of americans keeping their shoes on inside.
Some swedes make it sound like you guys never have your shoes on in the house/apartments. What if you are bringing in groceries and need to come back in another 1-3 times? Do u take off ur shoes, put the groceries in the kitchen, then put them back on to go back outside? I'm curious what you guys do because that sounds really annoying and i doubt anyone does that.
All the houses I've been to (in the u.s) no one wears shoes inside (except for indoor shoes/slippers) and the owners usually tell the guests to keep the shoes by the door. We take off our shoes when we know we are staying inside. But if we're doing something outside and need a cup of water real quick, ya we'll keep the shoes on. But we dont keep the shoes on for several hours walking through the house wherher its carpet or wooden floors
The beer thing confused me since where I live in the US everyone brings their own beer to parties already, same with the shoes inside thing, most people I know have shoe areas near entrances.
Not sure I’m a Swede anymore 😂
We brag a lot, we keep our shoes on inside often in the summer and so doesn’t our guests. We always offer booze to our guests when we have a party. Personal space is just now during Corona. I live in the country down in Österlen 😊
Varför har man skor inomhus? Jag förstår mig inte på hur folk kan gå inomhus med skor, känns jätte konstigt lite äckligt nästan.
@@whatisthis7196 Bor man på landet och springer ut och in en massa så är där lika grusigt på golvet oavsett om man har skorna på eller ej 🙈 Så ska man bara in ett ärende så gå man in med skor. Nu när vi hade kalas så var vi mestadels ute på baksidan men gästerna gick in med skor när de skulle på toa eller hämta dricka i köket. Det är ju inte så att skorna är mycket skitigare än fötterna när det är så här torrt. Vi går dock aldrig upp på ovanvåningen med skor
@@jennywellman3025 Men varför bara inte kasta av sig skorna snabbt innan man går in? Det tar liksom 1 sekund att göra. Sen kan jag förstå om man går in med skorna 1 gång om man bara gått på gräsmattan eller liknande men annars tar jag alltid av mig skorna hur många gånger jag än springer in
@@whatisthis7196 Vi har ju bara gräsmatta här ute och vi har ju inneskor/sandaler på oss både ute och inne (har själv hälsporre så jag går alltid med skor)
I think number 5 is connected to the personal space issue. I think it’s about not being bothered unless you ask for it. I personally hate when I’m in a store and people come up to me asking if I want help if I don’t need it. I will ask if I have to. 😄
No normally you don't have to take a number to get served by the cashier. This is only the case in some pharmacies if they have that system. Normally you would just walk up to the cashier if you need help, or they will come to you and ask if you need help just like in any other country. :)
I'm from Sweden and always found the shoes thing weird. Dragging in dirt aside, I don't understand why anyone would even still wanna wear their shoes indoors, ESPECIALLY if you live somewhere with hotter weather. It's just not comfortable!
In Canada, shoe trays are common, so the melting snow stays within the tray.
I've already made plenty of these mistakes. 🤣😭🙈 My inlaws came round, I dont like awkward silence, so I talked non stop for hours about my life. Even I was tired of my own voice by the end of it! But if you're not going to say much, then dont visit me! Also went out for a walk in a posh park in town, I screamed at my child to "BE CAREFUL" because she was running into the path of a guy who was on an electric scooter. I got such strange looks for being *extra* 🙄. I also dont dress in the uniform black or white like Swedes.. Im from London so usually want to look trendy and stand out a bit. I do feel like some of these things make Sweden a boring snobbish place.. Like I wanna say sometimes "Take the stick out your ass!?" ..so I'll probably get deported soon 😅😅
Seattle area here ... we take off our shoes and often just before entering the house as opposed to once inside the door
Like the proper Swede that I am, I get VERY uncomfortable when a stranger comes up close😂 Talking to neighbors is also very uncomfortable for us. “Hi” and “How are you?” is okay, but further than that makes me SUPER uncomfortable
My compatriots in Sweeden have a problem when their parents arrive for a couple of days and insist to bring baked cookies and cakes for the neighbours 🤣🤣🤣 they cant explain to them that its not acceptable there and that neighbours are hiding.
As a native Swede: Spot on! 💯🤣🇸🇪
As a Swede. So NOT spot on.
Actually, Stefan you are talking about some habits that belongs to people in your age (about offering alcohol), for older people, you don't bring your alcohol with you, the host will offer that .. so the perspective is different depending on who you are dealing with and it's not applicable for everyone. Also it depends on for many Swedish people who've got a foreigner background, they may behave different than what you are talking about, the Swedish society has been mixed in the last 30 years, it's multi-cultural and have various of habits.
I'm with you on that. There is a difference with the drink- and shoerule when it comes to age and money. (And weather) if I would host a summerparty I would make sure my guests have food and drinks and dont have to take the shoes of. (Me and my husband is 40-50) Alkohol is expensive in sweden so its smart that you bring exaktly what you want to a party. And that way its not only the host that get stuck with the biggest bill everu time!
@Tony An Multicultural or not. Being Swedish still means being Swedish.
@@beorlingo what does being "Swedish" means for you? Because it's an old term, today there less typical Swedish people even though they share many habits.. The newer generations has been changed alot because of travelling, Internet, media, TV, etc..
L enjoy your videos. I can see where my father had more of a Swedish temperement he probably got from his parents and grandparents. He was more laid back and calm where my mother was Italian and passionate. I try to keep a balance between them.
Big fan of your videos and started watching it before coming to Sweden,, hope we can do something together 🇸🇪🙌
Who is the actor that is speaking with colbert in the video ?
Damn, I shoulda been born a Swede. I had always been fine with just being quiet and in the US, that is NOT seen as being NORMAL. I will NOT go into all of the problems that I had growing up in the US as a quiet person, plus, problems as an adult as a shy and quiet person. BUT, I will just say that in the US, people can be really JUDGEMENTAL about you, and it CAN affect your career, and you keeping your job, and you can be fired because some people will say that you aren't friendly, and as in MY case, that you have an "attitude problem", just because you will NOT talk all friendly with everybody.
And, IF your "boss" is used to having people soothing her ego, and being her "buddy" she just MAY see that maybe YOU have a "attitude problem" so, YOU can be fired in MY home state, with NO reason given. I had worked at that job for almost a year before they had fired me.
Now, the whole thing about taking your shoes off in Sweden before you enter a persons home, that is actually popular in many homes here in the US. NOT in MY home growing up though. But, as a young kid, I do recall having to do so in a few of my friends homes.
In MY home, people tracking dirt inside is NOT the real problem, WE have 3 dogs that can go in and out of the house into a yard with grass, and then the cats, all 14 of them, they bring in some REALLY fowl things. IF it were JUST ME, I would NOT have all of these cats here, and they are NOT "Clean animals" like many people think they are. The dogs are cleaner than our cats, the cats 'spray" where they seem to THINK is their territory, even the females do it, and ALL of the cats are either spayed or neutered.
But, it is NOT just me here, my whole family lives here,. so, I have to just NOT get upset by it, IF I do, what can I do to change it anyway? We have NO rugs in our house, so, I can just vacuum it up and then mop, so that is what I do.
The whole "personal space" thing, makes me really think that, I shoulda been born in Sweden. In the US IF they see and know that you are shy or quiet, they will purposely stare at you to make you feel weird, and when or IF you show a "reaction" to what they have done, what can YOU really say that they have done to you? They LOOKED AT YOU, and what CAN you really say they have done wrong? ANYWAY, I had just gotten really upset, and ended up looking like I was some NUTJOB, and when I had gotten so mad that I cussed them out, well, THEN my ass got fired. SO, in the end, THAT was the reason given, BUT, the whole "Attitude problem" thing had happened BEFORE I had gotten fired. I had worked at that job for about 3-4 days after the whole thing about how I had an attitude problem. It had been the 3-4 days later that I had gotten fired.
Anyway, people in the US really think different than Swedes or maybe even many Northern Europeans. I do love alot about my home Country, BUT, there is alot that is just SO messed up with our popular culture.
That "take a number" thing used to be kinda normal in the US, BUT, lately a store will have a "number machine' BUT, they have NOT used it for a while, so, you just have to stand there, and kinda take note of who you are behind, and make SURE that you get your turn.
Basically, in the US, you just HAVE to be loud, aggressive, mean and in many cases, a real "ass kisser" in order to either "get ahead" or maybe even just to keep your job,,and to NOT become a target for bullies, and I mean even after High school.
And, I do NOT even live in New York city. OR any CITY.
Welcome to Sweden! 🇸🇪
@@Kramttin Thank you, LOL! I do love my country, BUT, as I said before, people can REALLY be so messed up. I am NOT perfect by any means, BUT, people just need to stop being so happy to provoke others to get a "rise" out of them.
That is a BIG thing here in the US. Okay, I'll shut up now. :>)
The whole video I was like "don't ignore the queue/don't cut the line". Of all the social no-nos, that's probably the one that rubs me the wrong way the most. To me, it's close to barbaric and Hobbesian when bottlenecks form around busses and lines are cut at stores, like, what happened to civility?
All the people mentioning BYOB is something only the young adults do. You are correct, but you also interpreted the meaning of the word "party" wrong.
BYOB is for the "we gonna get shitfaced tonight"-parties, not dinnerparties or grannys birthday.
The number system has a purpose. First off, the way you notify them that you want attention is by producing a number, they get alerted and can stop doing the day-to-day maintenance work at a natural stopping point to take care of you. Workers in places with a numbering system, like pharmacies and whatnot, aren't expected to drop everything at a moment's notice and help you. But to, when they've reached a point in whatever task they're doing that they can halt without losing track of where they are or similar, and then go and take care of the pending customer(s). There's more to it than just a queue system, you're also queuing with "the tasks of the day" which are basically in effect when there's nobody queued up in the system.
This is about the modern digital system, the older analogue "ticket rolls" systems are a bit different, since there's no feedback when a ticket got produced, and the places with those are generally more "you can just walk up to the register if you're the only one in there"-y
I'm happy to hear that you're finally say "The States" instead of America . America is the entire continent born The United States. I like your videos.
Could you please explain that the Jante-law isnt actually a law, more of a social norm. It comes off really weird hearing it refered to as a law.
I made an entire separate video about that 😎
@@StefanThyron do you also explain that law of Jante is from a fictional story written by a Danish-Norwegian author and is about a fictional Danish village?
@@StefanThyron I, me and myself know that -I meant from the point of a viewer who just happen to see this as their first video! Dont use the word law. It isnt. That would make me an American, breaking the law.
@@ela83a Sandemose simply coined the description of the specifically Scandinavian Lutheran.
I live in Sweden too but far away from Stockholm
I’m assuming some of these still apply tho 😄
The whole not buying rounds is kinda expected cause 1) we don't wanna owe others something and 2) it would also maybe put expectation on some people to pay, but might not have the money to pay for all.
Exactly. And, since you never know in advance how long anyone is gonna stick around, taking turns buying rounds would mean that some cheap, clever person could drink at the others' expense only to sneak away just before his/her time to buy the next round :-)
"BOYB"... lmao, in agreement! So on point!
I didn't even think about it tiö you mentioned it in this video. LOL
Grew up in U.S. with Swedish dad and Norwegian mother.
Rule #1 Don't speak to the neighbors.😂
Also, friends just showing up unannounced (especially on holidays), bringing friends home from school with you, NOT!😄
Here in U.S. it's more picking which friend you'd go home with after school, i.e. who had the best mom/cookie baker!😂
Among older married people, the hosts usually offer their friends wine and booze if they invite you for dinner.
If we would talk to the king we would talk to him in the exact same way as talking to another stranger.
My mum gave the king alot of things to hold because she was cleaning and he accidentally bumped in to her so she dropped everything
BYOB to all parties because alcohol is insanely expensive in Sweden 😬
The number in the stores are for fairness. You'll know if you grew up there. Otherwise, at what point should yiu take a number, when there's 2, 3, or 5 people?
Also, taking a number means you're ready to talk to the staff, not just browsing.
Great topics that you chose.
Spot on! 👏🏼 👏🏼
The BYOB was a strange experience for me! Being from England, alcohol is a lot cheaper there so it’s way more common for booze to be shared around.
I don’t hate the system here, but it definitely takes some getting used to.
One funny and peculiar thing with queuing in Spain; they seldom have number tickets, instead you ask when you enter: " Who is the last in line" and then only have to keep track on that person. At the bus stop same thing, but usually without asking - people just let people enter in the order they arrived to the bus stop. Very polite ☺👍💃
It’s ok to be proud of things you’ve achieved. It’s all about how you say things and not what you’re saying. As an example, say that you have fought very much for something and eventually it paid off. You’re happy, proud of yourself & it means a lot to you. That’s ok and people are happy for you! But if you only tell things, to tell things. It’s not appreciated. Like “I own these cars, earn this much & have a summerhouse in Marbella” and there’s no purpose behind it. You just want to tell people what you have. Then Swedes get like “ok. Thank you for the info!” And you get perceived as bragging. It’s all about Swedes don’t appreciate when you portraying yourself as better and higher than others. While belittle others who’s not achieved the same things.
The thing with the number in que, are that they might have other things to do, so you take a number and wait. In that way you don't stress them and they can give 100% focus when it's your turn.
The fact that they produce all the Swedish Fish in the whole world is a testament to their ingenuity.
I didn't know fish had a nationality you been listening to jacob rhys mogg?
Eric Northman,who is also in Northman movie (Alexander Skarsgard)
Well done there! I laughed so hard at nr 5. Kicki från Enskede
I should not use English ;) But #5 is such an incredibly different view on things. When I was in US recently I felt harrassed by shop employees. Leave me alone, I know what a shoe looks like -you know what I mean?
Sept. America that's called customer service you offer your help to the customer and have to stay around in clase that she/he has a question for instance to bring another size or if there is any question. Its the contrary in sweden there nobody cares about customers. So if they were around you trying to help was not because you look rich or handsome (I doubt it) it was because greeting and approaching a customer is part of their job.
@@suzannelardeux9018
That was my point to be fair.
Love your shirt Stefan!
Thanks 😍🙏🏼
Notes taken: if you're from Finland, remember to do these things in Sweden. Bragging especially about ice hockey. Always remember to take someone's akvavit, but leave a conspicuous Finlandia vodka on the table. Insist on using euros. Walk around in your sandals plus Finland -socks. Surprise someone from behind, smelling like alcohol and in a thick Finnish accent ask where the toilet is. If you cut in line, make sure that you do it in the cruise ship terminal. Use elbows if you have to. Speak in Finnish about "bättre folk" if you're drunk enough, for special effects.
As a born swede, this makes me want to move away from here