Duh! Introverted intuition does not necessarily provide instantaneous insight. Personal interactions can also distract us from red flags. I have ignored those who ignore me - no guilt there. The few people that have experienced my doorslam will never forget it. They also deserved it, fully. Can you imagine how hard I slammed the door on my malignant covert narcissist wife after a 29 year sentence of torture, and seeing my innocent young daughter also suffer at her hands. *DoorSUPERNOVAslam*
as an INFJ I have cut off people from my life a lot of times but I think this video is actually right. I used to think that I was right doing so, that there was a reason, that I had been too forgiving and that those friends should have known better. But now, I always question the reason why I stopped a friendship and end up knowing I was wrong at that time, that I was just too needy/elitist with people. So I will try my best not to cut ties anymore.
when i was younger i did door-slams a lot. now that i think about it, they're all kind of silly and i should've done a better job at managing my emotions and interpersonal relationships. nowadays i tried my best not to think much of ppl's actions. i tried to manage my emotions better. i think this is my neverending battle and i am ready for it.
Good to hear! We need a good balance between protecting ourselves and being fair to others, this is why I made this video :) I mean, some people ARE jerks, but it's also possible to be too harsh
I have never regretted a door slam. Though the intuition point is a thing but you are forgetting the fact that infj likes to believe in the best in people. Unless they are sure of it they are most likely not gonna do it to just anyone. Which is actually rare. Cause the people they consider as "close friends" are actually very few. Nobody is going to door slam a person who has never been to the room( close to heart).
I am a INFJ and the controversial part did not make me mad... But it is wrong.. I do not see myself as superior or a teacher to anyone. I do not have to be around people with whom I am on a different frequency so to speak. That is the reason I backoff from a relation that I do not deal comfortable in. I will give you one example. I organize boardgames at my house from time to time. There was this couple who inevitably got into a fight between the two of them at every game. Other time made others get into fights over the game. So I stopped inviting them. So this is the "door slam" I guess. But the reasons are similar. This toxicity idiocy is a recent thing... Nowadays everyone is toxic. So I door slam to get away from situations I do not feel comfortable in. But not because I want people to do like I want.. Because I do not want to do what they want... Dunno if this makes sence... Usually INFJ's don't...
In my case. There were previous incidents in our relationship that were my fault i wasn't honest with myself or them and couldn't accept their love. The accusations came about and yes i was pulling away. I see that. But as more accusations came, i was not doing. I pulled away further. Sorry, i don't feel trusted, i am going to leave. I know i was in the wrong here of how to handle. Well things precipitated to me leaving. They blocked me. So, we're done? Ok... did some stuff out of spite.... fast foward almost a year later.... we get back together after what i felt was the most honest conversation we have had in our relationship. I said its ok i don't want to know who or what you were doing before because thats the past and it didn't include me... well, same patterns were emerging again, and i said i need space. I was not getting enough alone time. I also expressed several boundaries. None of them were really taken seriously and i kept pressing that i NEED these things. Irritability, ran rampant. Constant stressors from 10 different ways. Well, already irritable. Already exhausted, emotionally burnt out. Trying to help them be happy but understanding they can only help themselves when they are willing too... got them in same state that i was in. Then dismissal after dismissal of ideas, intamacy, plans, goals. Increased rift. I hoped it was all misunderstandings due to the constant machinations against us. Not so sure now... but a codependent dynamic on my end and a crumbling of MY boundaries caused me to be at my almost lowest point in my life. Communication was nil. Getting told my feelings and intentions when i try to mend the rift... efforts scoffed at, thoughts expressed used against me. Never enough. So... i can't sacrifice my entire self for someone that is just watching me squirm. Small breadcrumbs... to placate... then used against me. Enough is enough i have to go. I loved them but i have to love myself as well... then hearing that i was abusive and rude and mean and cruel.... ok. If you need me to be the shadow there you go. I still wish them happiness and peace... i hope they have good things come to them. I hope they communicate things on their mind as i had. But. I also am starting to recall some of the secrets and such they told me. And that brought me here.... some essay about forgiveness and my idea and their idea... i don't want pity. I don't want sympathy i just want to be heard, understood and accepted for who i am. Not for what i do or provide. I was accepting who they were. I also thank you for that mention halfway through as i was accused of being that way.
Thank you for sharing your story. Everything is a matter of context, and the bottom line of our video is that none of the types is ever perfect. And everybody's needs are different. In the video we emphasized that people are often labelled toxic when in reality there is a different reason for a conflict. If a relationship faces difficulties (of whatever nature), you always have the choice to either end it, or work on it. And each situation requires its unique choice. We hope that your decisions were the best decisions you could make. Sending hugs!
@@basic-mbti they were the best i could make at the time. It hurt me pretty badly. But i really tried my best. I tried to follow up but... i know i hurt them too.
Your video is not the least controversial. But you just gave demonstrable proof of your lack of understanding of the INFJ door slam. This confirms, that you yourself are not an INFJ. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said those silly things at the end.
This is the second time (at least) someone says that I can't know things about the INFJ without being one. Well... Women write about men, but women aren't men. This video was made for discussion purposes, because I think the doorslam topic is important.
@@basic-mbti If you want to know what a real door slam feels like from inside the mind and heart of the INFJ, read the description in this unlisted video I made, to say sorry to my INFP partner: ruclips.net/video/vwoM2oVjy9w/видео.html
lmao at the memes 🤣🤣 i only recently started accepting that maybe i am a bit narcissistic. it's pretty much impossible to explain/defend my way out of that one. "a self-righteous delusional teenager" lol i knew it. this blockade is why i feel like i still haven't grown up in some ways. we really are clowns i guess lol 😂
Naah you guys are wizards :) I have some more videos about the INFJ by the way, featuring my real voice, the latest one is about the #1 problem of the INFJ (which is not the doorslamming ;D)
Well I've quite frankly door slammed only one person it was because were both toxic to eachother. Thecycle had to end. We are both happier and thriving on our own.
story time is always fun...so i have cut my children's grandmother out of my life (as much as i can without causing a production anyway 😐) but yeah and her son, my girls' dad. the grandmother kept drinking and verbally abusing me, talking down to me, just being conniving and ugly in general, and trying to make me feel like it was all my fault her marriage fell apart as if i tried to seduce her husband or something - which no and then no many more time over lol 😂 and her son...i cut him off because 1) he ***ually assaulted me twice when i told him no, 2) he constantly made me feel like i was in the wrong for us not getting along even though his selfishness & stubbornness was the real reason, and 3) because he continued to think of only our relationship and none of his fatherhood responsibilities so bye-bye to him and while i wish he would've straightened up, i don't regret leaving him because i see who he is today and know it never would have happened no matter how much i threw hints. i did give him chances. and his mom too. but they are so set in their petty ways and i wasn't and still am not about to take that kind of abuse.
Sorry to hear that, and this video is the absolutely right place to discuss when it's adequate to cut people out of your life, and what you're picturing seems more than adequate. It's a little tricky to talk about "toxic" relationships, because some of them are really toxic, while the toxicity of the other relationships is only imagined or exaggerated. I hope you managed to become a little happier and stronger. Everything will be okay
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Did you cut people out of your life? What was the reason? Let us know.
Disrespected again and again.
I do doorslam and I wasn't offended in the slightest I think knowing others perception is enlightening
Good to know. Was just trying to bring some balance into the doorslam concept
Duh! Introverted intuition does not necessarily provide instantaneous insight. Personal interactions can also distract us from red flags.
I have ignored those who ignore me - no guilt there.
The few people that have experienced my doorslam will never forget it. They also deserved it, fully.
Can you imagine how hard I slammed the door on my malignant covert narcissist wife after a 29 year sentence of torture, and seeing my innocent young daughter also suffer at her hands.
*DoorSUPERNOVAslam*
as an INFJ I have cut off people from my life a lot of times but I think this video is actually right. I used to think that I was right doing so, that there was a reason, that I had been too forgiving and that those friends should have known better. But now, I always question the reason why I stopped a friendship and end up knowing I was wrong at that time, that I was just too needy/elitist with people. So I will try my best not to cut ties anymore.
when i was younger i did door-slams a lot. now that i think about it, they're all kind of silly and i should've done a better job at managing my emotions and interpersonal relationships. nowadays i tried my best not to think much of ppl's actions. i tried to manage my emotions better.
i think this is my neverending battle and i am ready for it.
Good to hear! We need a good balance between protecting ourselves and being fair to others, this is why I made this video :) I mean, some people ARE jerks, but it's also possible to be too harsh
I have never regretted a door slam. Though the intuition point is a thing but you are forgetting the fact that infj likes to believe in the best in people. Unless they are sure of it they are most likely not gonna do it to just anyone. Which is actually rare. Cause the people they consider as "close friends" are actually very few. Nobody is going to door slam a person who has never been to the room( close to heart).
I am a INFJ and the controversial part did not make me mad... But it is wrong.. I do not see myself as superior or a teacher to anyone. I do not have to be around people with whom I am on a different frequency so to speak. That is the reason I backoff from a relation that I do not deal comfortable in. I will give you one example. I organize boardgames at my house from time to time. There was this couple who inevitably got into a fight between the two of them at every game. Other time made others get into fights over the game. So I stopped inviting them. So this is the "door slam" I guess. But the reasons are similar. This toxicity idiocy is a recent thing... Nowadays everyone is toxic. So I door slam to get away from situations I do not feel comfortable in. But not because I want people to do like I want.. Because I do not want to do what they want... Dunno if this makes sence... Usually INFJ's don't...
In my case. There were previous incidents in our relationship that were my fault i wasn't honest with myself or them and couldn't accept their love. The accusations came about and yes i was pulling away. I see that. But as more accusations came, i was not doing. I pulled away further. Sorry, i don't feel trusted, i am going to leave. I know i was in the wrong here of how to handle. Well things precipitated to me leaving. They blocked me. So, we're done? Ok... did some stuff out of spite.... fast foward almost a year later.... we get back together after what i felt was the most honest conversation we have had in our relationship. I said its ok i don't want to know who or what you were doing before because thats the past and it didn't include me... well, same patterns were emerging again, and i said i need space. I was not getting enough alone time. I also expressed several boundaries. None of them were really taken seriously and i kept pressing that i NEED these things. Irritability, ran rampant. Constant stressors from 10 different ways. Well, already irritable. Already exhausted, emotionally burnt out. Trying to help them be happy but understanding they can only help themselves when they are willing too... got them in same state that i was in. Then dismissal after dismissal of ideas, intamacy, plans, goals. Increased rift. I hoped it was all misunderstandings due to the constant machinations against us. Not so sure now... but a codependent dynamic on my end and a crumbling of MY boundaries caused me to be at my almost lowest point in my life. Communication was nil. Getting told my feelings and intentions when i try to mend the rift... efforts scoffed at, thoughts expressed used against me. Never enough. So... i can't sacrifice my entire self for someone that is just watching me squirm. Small breadcrumbs... to placate... then used against me. Enough is enough i have to go. I loved them but i have to love myself as well... then hearing that i was abusive and rude and mean and cruel.... ok. If you need me to be the shadow there you go. I still wish them happiness and peace... i hope they have good things come to them. I hope they communicate things on their mind as i had. But. I also am starting to recall some of the secrets and such they told me. And that brought me here.... some essay about forgiveness and my idea and their idea... i don't want pity. I don't want sympathy i just want to be heard, understood and accepted for who i am. Not for what i do or provide. I was accepting who they were.
I also thank you for that mention halfway through as i was accused of being that way.
Thank you for sharing your story. Everything is a matter of context, and the bottom line of our video is that none of the types is ever perfect. And everybody's needs are different. In the video we emphasized that people are often labelled toxic when in reality there is a different reason for a conflict. If a relationship faces difficulties (of whatever nature), you always have the choice to either end it, or work on it. And each situation requires its unique choice. We hope that your decisions were the best decisions you could make. Sending hugs!
@@basic-mbti they were the best i could make at the time. It hurt me pretty badly. But i really tried my best. I tried to follow up but... i know i hurt them too.
Don't feel too bad because of that. That wouldn't be constructive. We think you should focus on the future and make it better.
Your video is not the least controversial. But you just gave demonstrable proof of your lack of understanding of the INFJ door slam. This confirms, that you yourself are not an INFJ. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said those silly things at the end.
This is the second time (at least) someone says that I can't know things about the INFJ without being one. Well... Women write about men, but women aren't men. This video was made for discussion purposes, because I think the doorslam topic is important.
@@basic-mbti If you want to know what a real door slam feels like from inside the mind and heart of the INFJ, read the description in this unlisted video I made, to say sorry to my INFP partner:
ruclips.net/video/vwoM2oVjy9w/видео.html
lmao at the memes 🤣🤣 i only recently started accepting that maybe i am a bit narcissistic. it's pretty much impossible to explain/defend my way out of that one. "a self-righteous delusional teenager" lol i knew it. this blockade is why i feel like i still haven't grown up in some ways. we really are clowns i guess lol 😂
Naah you guys are wizards :) I have some more videos about the INFJ by the way, featuring my real voice, the latest one is about the #1 problem of the INFJ (which is not the doorslamming ;D)
Yay, nice plot twist!
Well I've quite frankly door slammed only one person it was because were both toxic to eachother. Thecycle had to end. We are both happier and thriving on our own.
story time is always fun...so i have cut my children's grandmother out of my life (as much as i can without causing a production anyway 😐) but yeah and her son, my girls' dad. the grandmother kept drinking and verbally abusing me, talking down to me, just being conniving and ugly in general, and trying to make me feel like it was all my fault her marriage fell apart as if i tried to seduce her husband or something - which no and then no many more time over lol 😂 and her son...i cut him off because 1) he ***ually assaulted me twice when i told him no, 2) he constantly made me feel like i was in the wrong for us not getting along even though his selfishness & stubbornness was the real reason, and 3) because he continued to think of only our relationship and none of his fatherhood responsibilities so bye-bye to him and while i wish he would've straightened up, i don't regret leaving him because i see who he is today and know it never would have happened no matter how much i threw hints. i did give him chances. and his mom too. but they are so set in their petty ways and i wasn't and still am not about to take that kind of abuse.
Sorry to hear that, and this video is the absolutely right place to discuss when it's adequate to cut people out of your life, and what you're picturing seems more than adequate. It's a little tricky to talk about "toxic" relationships, because some of them are really toxic, while the toxicity of the other relationships is only imagined or exaggerated. I hope you managed to become a little happier and stronger. Everything will be okay
@@basic-mbtiI am happier for sure. Stronger, not so much as I want to be, but wiser in some ways, yes. thank you for the warm wishes 🙌💗☺️
This person needs to do more research on INFJ door slam.
Some say the door slam doesn't happen in reality.. Some say it does. How do you do research on something that is not objectively provable?
@@basic-mbti Then do some practical research by violating an INFJ personal boundary. You'll get your answers. 😁 Good luck
All infjs are justified in their actions
Hahahaha that is one hell of a statement
@@basic-mbti Are you an "INFJ"?
No, I‘m an ENFP
@@basic-mbti So until you experience what's its like to be an "INFJ" you will never fully understand why we "doorslam" narcissistic people
Does it mean nobody can talk about anything they aren‘t? So if I‘m a woman I can‘t talk about men?